The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard

The second sequel I saw this weekend was a sequel that no one any where was demanding to be made. In fact, I heard a lot people say that they did not even remember the original movie. However, we get The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard, the sequel to The Hitman’s Bodyguard, anyway.

Michael Bryce (Ryan Reynolds) was trying to get away from bodyguarding for awhile. After having his license suspended, upon therapist orders, he was trying to be on a break. Unfortunately for him, Sonia Kincaid (Selma Hayek) arrived, guns a blazing, and grabbed Michael to help her rescue her husband, Darius Kincaid (Samuel L. Jackson) who had been taken prisoner. Chaos ensues.

This movies starts dumb and gets stupider with every scene. Literally, the plot is a series of the most ridiculous set ups imaginable, many of which are clichés of other, better movies. It gets so stupid that one might wonder if this was meant to be a satire of spy movies (I don’t think it is intended as such).

However, the film is not a total failure because of the charisma and wit of its three main stars, Ryan Reynolds, Samuel L. Jackson and Selma Hayek. Hayek was just fantastic in every scene in the movie. She was so ridiculous and over-the-top that you couldn’t help but be entertained by her. Hayek was crude, explicit and a hoot. Samuel L. Jackson was every bit as Sam Jackson as you could be. Ryan Reynolds played off both of them beautifully in that normal way that Ryan Reynolds does. Again, I do not think Sam Jackson and Ryan Reynolds played anything more than their normal character, but they were funny.

Funny enough, there was one scene where I thought to myself, “Hey, it is Nick Fury, Deadpool, Crossbones (Frank Grillo) and that Eternals character (Hayek is in The Eternals, but I do not know her role).” It’s not that I was distracted by the actors.

Antonio Banderas was here too, playing the film’s Bond villain. He had some reason he wanted to destroy Europe and a half-baked plan in which to do it. I actually think I have seen this very plan in an older James Bond movie. Morgan Freeman makes a fun cameo as well.

The action was okay, but really bouncy. The violence was both bloody and cartoonish. A couple of times, Ryan Reynolds felt like a Looney Tunes character with the way he took damage.

The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard was really dumb, but funny. You can’t go into this expecting a well thought out and cohesive story. If you approach it like it is a cartoon with guns (and a swiss army knife), you might enjoy yourself. Reynolds, Jackson and Hayek are the only reason to see this.

2.7 stars

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