I have to take a few minutes out of watchin’ Chris Matthews on Hardball to get this week in review written.  I love watchin’ that young stud journalist, Matthews.  He doesn’t take any crap from anyone.

This week I’ve been watchin’ this amazing Olympic competition from Rio.  I have some stories about Rio that I might have to write about some day.

But that would be gettin’ off task and I been warned about that.

So …Olympics. Yeah, this has been exciting.  I saw all kinds of great stuff.

Bike racing.

Sword fighting.

Shootin’ arrows.

Volleyball in the sand.

There was green water in the pools.

Then there was some golf.  Golf?  I bet the Ancient Greeks are rollin’ over in their graves.

To be fair, the American women gymnastic team was amazing.  It even touched my old and crabby heart seeing this group of young women take the world by storm.

And then there is the last days of the real life Aquaman.  Michael Phelps is a fish.  I wonder if he can talk to them like Arthur Curry can?

We are finally gettin’ to the running part of the Olympics.  Usain Bolt has taken Barry Allan’s nickname away— “The Fastest Man Alive.”  I can almost believe it.

I can sit in my chair and watch this stuff all day long.

So I’m gonna get back to it right now.

Week ending July 31

Yeah…yeah… I know I’m late with the review this week but I got my reasons.  One big, swollen and black and blue reason in particular.

Friday I went out and wound up slipping and severely spraining my left ankle.  I don’t wanna tell ya how it came about, but I will say that Pokemon Go MAY have had something to do with it.

Now, I live in a basement…shut up… I know it is a stereotype.. I ain’t stupid.  Anyway, I got back from the hospital on Friday (by the way, the people at the hospital were really great to this old geek) and I made my way down the stairs.

The stairs are hard on me anyway…but this was even worse.  So, I planned on staying here until I was healed.

And the days passed…and passed…and passed.

It is now Tuesday, and I have not exited the confines of my Geek cave yet.

I am starting to believe the sky of this world consists of white tiles.. the grass is a a short, brown carpet and that the weather never changes.

Good thing I ain’t claustrophobic.

However, there has been some upside to my underground isolation.

1.  People don’t complain to me when I nap at all hours a day (really not a difference from my normal life)

2.  I can see what it will be like in my bunker for the arrival of the zombie apocalypse.

3.  I could binge the whole series of Preacher before the season finale.  I didn’t get that finale though.  Strange show.  Anyone explain it to me?

4.  I could listen to every inane word that comes out of Donald Trump’s mouth.  There aren’t writers on sitcoms in Hollywood that write funnier stuff than what that nutjob says. Trevor Noah called Trump “the fifth horseman of the Apocalypse” which I found funny, but then Samantha Bee called him “America’s burst appendix,” and I almost sprayed my drink all over the computer screen.

5.  I missed Jason Bourne.

As of today, my ankle has shown some improvements and I am sure that I will be able to tell when the weather changes (just like that damn right knee of mine.  Jeez, when the temperature drops 5 degrees, that baby is singing.)  Still, I am looking forward to getting out of my basement soon.

So…what does FOX News have to say….

For the week ending July 24th.

It that time again.  I need to review the week that was.  I’m still waiting for the paychecks for the last couple of columns though.  I really have to save my money.

Last week, I watched the Republican National Convention from Cleveland.  Lots of hatred coming from it…I liked it.  I have been called grumpy before and I felt right at home.

However, on Thursday night, Donald Jehoshaphat Trump took the stage.

OH MY GOD!

I had no idea that the United States was in such peril.  I immediately barred the doors, got on Amazon and ordered as much duct tape as I could, and began hording gasoline.  I got several containers full in my basement.  I ain’t gonna be caught off guard when Mad Max comes a callin’.

I had no idea that the world was such a dystopian wasteland.

I have to say…I haven’t been this scared since Sarah Palin told me that Barack Obama was going to form death squads and kill me as a way around health care.  I still got my eye on you , Mr. President.

Somehow, it seems that ONLY The Donald can fix these problems.  And he said that it will be easy.  I wasn’t sure how that was gonna work… did this make Trump our world’s Lord Humungus?  You can’t have any of my gasoline, Donald!

Actually, Lord Humungus has the same orange tint to his skin as Trump has.  And I ain’t never seen them together.  Hmmmmmmmmmmm.

Then, the signs of the apocalypse truly started to show as all the young people dressed up in their costumes and headed out west.  San Diego, I believe .  There were so many strange looking people roaming around San Diego that I started to believe that the end times were actually upon us.

And I still can’t get my Pokemon Go to work.

Maybe watching the Democratic National Convention this upcoming week will help calm me down.   I am looking forward to the speech of that young whippersnapper who caused such a ruckus during the campaign… Bernie Sanders.  I like his hair.

If the future doesn’t get brighter, the only thing I have left to do is corner the market on Booty-O’s.  They make sure…you ain’t booty!

For the week ending July 16

What?

Why are you here?

I ain’t got time for no week in review!

I’m too busy trying to catch all these dang Pokemon things.  How does this work again?

Go?

All day long… nothing but the servers are down.  How can they expect me to catch a Meowth when there blasted servers are down all the time.  They already expect me to get out of my chair to play the dang game.

What?  What do you mean hackers?  Do you mean like that I, Robot guy?  Elliot?  Doesn’t he have more important things to worry about than depriving an old man of his Pokemon?

What?  Oh…Mr. Robot.  Whatever.  Potatoes…Potatoes.

Right…Elliot got an Emmy nomination this week.  I heard that.  It’s those bulging eyes.  Makes him sympathetic.  Now… Frank Underwood.  Now there is a guy who should win an Emmy.  Hell, he should be Trump’s vice president.  Trump-Underwood… that would be a ticket I’d vote for.

Huh?  Underwood’s a Democrat?  That’s fine… put him with Hillary.  Clinton-Underwood works for me too.

Why doesn’t this damn app work?

Ah… I’ll just go back to Candy Crush.

Week ending July 10

Yeah

Yeah

Yeah

I’m goin’, I’m goin’

Welcome to my Week in Review.  I am Old Man Geek and this is what has happened for the week ending July 10th.

Couldn’t get to sleep on Monday night.  There were explosions in the sky over an over.  And the neighbors kept running around with those little fiery stick things.  Always on my lawn.  I mean… can’t they walk around my house instead of tromping their little feet right through it?

Yeah, I know it was the Fourth of July, but I still need my beauty sleep, and who knows how many times I need to get up during the night.

Celebrated the 4th by goin’ to see Independence Day: Resurgence again.  It still sucked!

It rained Wednesday.

Hmmmm… what do you mean, you don’t care about the weather?  *gives a raspberry*

Then, went to Swiss Army Man.  I do love me some fart jokes!  And, boy howdy, were there a ton of fart jokes here.  That dead Harry Potter guy… he did a good job.  Not sure how he got his boner to point like he did.  Wires?  Puppets?  I sure as heck don’t want that job on the movie set.  I was confused by the ending.  Those movie people sometimes don’t tell you what’s goin’ on in the film…they just expect you to figure it out fer yourself.  As if I can stay awake for the whole film!  Heck, if it weren’t for all the flatulence wakin’ me up, I would’ve snoozed through a chunk of the film.

Kevin Durant deserted those OK Staters and headed out West as fast as his giant feet could carry him, signing with Golden State for a lot of moolah.  I miss the days of Wilt Chamberlain in the NBA.

There were two police shootings and then a sniper fired upon police this week.  No joke for this.  We need to address these issues ASAP.  Life is too short.

Gettin’ ready to watch Family Feud with Snoop Dogg.  I love Snoop Dogg.  I especially love when he fights the Red Baron on the back of his doghouse.  How does he get that thing to fly that high?

See you next week, God willin’

American Gothic

I found a new show on my favorite network-CBS- they have such age appropriate shows.  It was called American Gothic.  I remembered it from years ago.  There was a little kid whose father was the sheriff but also some kind of devil thing.  The little kid had a funny accent… It was great.

So I was very excited to watch the return of the show.  Little did I know this was goin’ be a whole different ballgame.

Really, it was more of a soap opera than a sequel to the old show.

Now, there was a story of a serial killer… someone called The Silver Bells Killer… who had killed several people years before, but stopped mysteriously.  Then our new characters found some silver bells in the garage.  What?

Then we started meeting these brats.  There was one who was a druggie.  There was a politician.  Not one like Trump.  More like Hillary.  She was trying to get elected.  I think it was in Boston.  They had funny accents.  Not like the kid from the original American Gothic.  A different accent.  I wonder if Trump would have something to say about that?

Most annoyingly, there was a little kid here too, but this kid is talking and drawing pictures about death.  He was really weird.

There was a suspicious son from this family, not the druggie or the politician… who had been gone for 14 years.  Of course, that was when the Silver Belles Killer stopped.  So, of course, it is not him.  He is just the red salmon to confuse the audience.  I ain’t fallin’ fer it.

Then at the end of the first episode… Oh yeah…SPOILERS… the head of the family who we thought was this serial killer had a heart attack and the wife withheld his oxygen and he died.

There were a lot of things that made the old guy and his oldest son look like they had some kind of secret. but the wife/mother is certainly a killer.

This is not quite my speed.  I miss Diagnosis Murder.  Dick Van Dyke was fantastic.  American Gothic is one of those short run shows so I might try and stick with it.  If nothing else, I could always nap through it.

The first American Gothic

New American Gothic

Week Ending 7/1/16

Hurumph…errr…um… I am Old Man Geek and this is my section on this newfangled Interweb thingy… I don’t see it catchin’ on.

You whippersnappers think that Geek culture belongs to you?  Well, I’ve been a geek back when it wasn’t …as the kids say…cool…to be a geek and it is finally MY TIME!

I will be talkin’ about the world of geek culture from the week that was.  As Walter Cronkite would say, “That was what it was.”  I miss Mr. Cronkite.  They don’t make ’em like that any more.  Now a days all you get is 24 hours of “opinionists.”  Where are the real journalists and newsmen?  Why, in my day, I…… what?  Oh, err…sorry.

Those in charge are telling me that there may be SPOILED MILK in this report.  I’m not sure what they mean, but never drink that stuff.  It’s bad for the digestion. Huh?  Spoilers?  What in tarnation are spoilers?

This week, the new movie Independence Day: Resurgence debuted at the theater.  Why it didn’t debut this week is beyond me.  I mean…isn’t this coming Monday the actual Independence Day?  Y’know, the Fourth of July?  Why not take advantage of that?  Apparently, most people agreed with me because the film fell flat.  I heard that lots of critics were throwing rotten tomatoes at the movie and only 32% of them hit it.

They had a finale of the Game of Thrones show this past Sunday.  Now, it is no Matlock, but I find the show fairly engrossing.  I’m just not sure how that Jon Snow fella is the King of the north.  Didn’t he die?

Warner Brothers released the Ultimate Edition Batman v. Superman film this week, a whopping 3 hours worth of movie.  This new version does make the film make more sense and feel less choppy.  Did you know that my mother’s name was also Martha?  She was a wonderful woman.  Looked like Jabba the Hut from that third Star wars movie.  No, not that Episode Three!  The third one in chronological order.  You know, the way we used to get our movies.  None of this prequel, sequel, reboot stuff.  We went to the theater to watch a movie and we liked it.

Where was I?

Apparently Captain America is not as much of a Hydra agent as we thought.  Guess I shouldn’t have burned my Captain America collection.

I went to the Ellen DeGeneres movie about the fish this week.  I love Ellen.  I watch her before judge Judy every day.  The fish didn’t do enough dancing.

I went to see the reunion of some show with a bunch of initials this week.  MST3K is what it was called, but all they did was show old shorts and make fun of them.  I did laugh at most of the jokes.  I really enjoyed the “Shake Hands with Danger” section.  That tune was stuck in my head for days.  Then they “riffed” on George Reeves’ Superman who was pushing stamps.  I got a bunch of those in a box around here somewhere.

More initials this weekend as The BFG starts in the theaters.  Makes me think of KFC.  I would love some chicken.

In fact, I think it is time for my dinner.  I’ll be back later.