It feels as if I am thoroughly back to normal from the days of not heading to the theater because I went to a couple of movies today that I would not have gone to over the last few years. Neither of the films were on my most anticipated list. However, here they are.

First up is The Machine. This movie is roughly based on the stand-up routine of Bert Kreischer. The routine is Bert telling the story of how he took a trip to Russia and wound up involved with the Russian Mafia. However, Bert’s party ability while he was drunk won over the Russians and Bert wound up helping them rob a train.

Years later, Bert was still having problems with his own family, including his 16-year old daughter, Sasha (Jess Gabor). When Bert’s father (Mark Hamill) came to Sasha’s birthday party, Bert continued to spiral out of control. Even worse, when Russian mafia daughter Irina (Iva Babic) showed up in search of something that Bert had stolen from that train, she and her muscle grabbed Bert and his father to return to Russia to find the object. Lots of stuff happens after that.

This was not the worst film I have ever seen, but it was truly a stupid story. So many stupid things happened that you had to ignore to enjoy the film.

The best part of the film was clearly Mark Hamill. I enjoyed his work throughout. Bert Kreischer was not much of an actor and what he did was basically just be loud and yell.

There were some decent character moments in the film as well, especially with the relationship between Bert and his father. The story was told with flashbacks to the original trip for Bert to Russia, and in these flashbacks, Jimmy Tatro played young Bert.

I did not hate this movie, but it was nothing special. The whole idea that Bert became this mythic type figure “The Machine” in Russia from his days drunk and on the train was ridiculous but I think film makes the most out of the premise. The Russian mobsters were cliched and uninteresting and the arc of Irina felt like it came out of nowhere. Overall, this movie would not be a movie that I would recommend to see in the theater, but if you had a chance to watch it at home, it might be worth a view.

2.5 stars