Resident Evil: The Final Chapter

Image result for resident evil final chapter

Yes, she was Leeloo.

Milla Jovovich was in The Fifth Element and was a fantastic fresh face as the actual Fifth Element who, along with Bruce Willis, saved the world from an ancient evil.

Unfortunately, Milla Jovovich is also Alice, the kick ass female lead of the Resident Evil series, a franchise directed by her husband Paul W.S. Anderson.  I had never seen any of these films before so I came into Resident Evil: The Final Chapter a blank slate.  I had low expectations and I was hoping that the film could exceed them.

It didn’t.

This was a terrible film.  My not having seen any previous Resident Evil movies was not a problem as the film spends about the first ten minutes giving us a refresher course on the back story.  Thanks for not making me go back and watch those.  I appreciate it.

After that, we had a series of action sequences strung together for and hour and a half.  That was basically it.  There was a slight plot which is expressed more in the final twenty minutes (not kidding) than at any point of the film.

Apparently, the big evil group Umbrella, who was responsible for the release of the T-virus, which turned most of humanity into zombie creatures, also created an airborne cure for the virus.  They stored this in the Hive and Alice, when tipped off by the Red Queen (Ever Anderson), the computer generated composite of the young Alice, goes to find the cure.  There is also a contrived time limit that apparently was all the time the remaining humans on the earth had left before they were completely wiped out.

Along the way to the Hive, Alice met some extremely disposable characters, who wind up being disposed, and the decidedly not dead Dr. Isaacs (Iain Glen), who tortures Alice by having her run behind a Humvee/tank as the zombie horde followed behind (never quite catching up).

Now, it is possible to turn off your mind and enjoy a film like this for what it should be… a big, stupid, fun action film.  The problem here is that there is nothing fun here.  The action scenes are among the worst action scenes put on film.  They have so much shaky cam work involved here that it is practically impossible to know what is going on.  I did not see this is IMAX 3D and I am forever grateful because I can’t imagine that these action scenes wouldn’t have given me a massive headache.  As they were, they were unwatchable.

The CGI is atrocious.  It felt like it came out of the early nineties instead of 2016.  There is an early scene with a dragon that is particularly bad, but it is far from the only example that could be given.

The acting was bad as well.  Milla Jovovich is fine as Alice, but some of the other characters in the film feel like the cousin of the director.

Plot contrivances.  Bad CGI.  Unwatchable action scenes.  Weak acting among disposable characters that we have no connection to.  Oh, I didn’t mention the MASSIVE overuse of jump scares.  I started playing a game of trying to predict the next jump scare.  It was pretty easy since the music would go quiet and then something would jump out.  I would guess that there were more jump scares here than the last five horror movies I have seen.  All this adds up to a terrible movie that is, Hopefully, the end of the franchise.

Resident Evil: The Final Chapter is bad.  Just bad.

0.75 stars

Don’t see this garbage.

And January is just about over.  Thank goodness!

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