The Batman and Robin Awards for Rotteness!
Named after one of the worst movies to ever disgrace the screen, this is a list of individual awards that “praise” the world of movies that may not have been the most enjoyable.
Worst Movie: Not ready to reveal this yet. Check out the upcoming Top 30 Worst Films of 2017. Honestly, I have not yet made the decision on this as there are around 6-7 films that could legitimately take this spot.
Worst Actor: Michael Fassbender (The Snowman). Fassbender is a fantastic actor, but his turn as Harry Hole in The Snowman was the definition of a great actor falling down into the material. Runner-Up: Will Farrell (Daddy’s Home 2, The House)
Worst Actress: Felicity Jones (Collide). I can hardly remember this movie, but when I checked back over the review, I said how Jones was truly horrid so she gets this spot. Runner-Up: Katherine Heigl (Unforgettable)
Worst SPX: [TIE] Justice League & Resident Evil: The Final Chapter. Two movies where the special effects were terrible. I hated every scene with Steppenwolf in Justice League while everything looked just horrible in that Resident Evil travesty. Justice League is an overall better movie, but the SPX were its major weak point for sure.
Worst Sequel: Transformers: The Last Knight. I was so bored by this. It was So long and dull and stupid. And it did not make its normal haul of cash so maybe the world is finally waking up to this garbage. Runner-Up: 50 Shades Darker
Worst Film I Haven’t Seen: Tyler Perry’s Boo 2: A Maeda’s Halloween. I avoided this crapfest and I am not sorry. Runner-Up: Nut Job 2: Nutty By Nature
Worst Super Hero Movie: Inhumans in IMAX. This is a bit of a cheat, since Inhumans is really a TV show, but all of the comic book movies this year were at least good. Inhumans was released in IMAX theaters and was an epic fail in all ways.
Worst Trailer for an Awesome Movie: The first Baby Driver trailer. The first trailer to Baby Driver did not show us how awesome this movie would be. Subsequent trailers did a better job, but that first one was not good at all.
Best Trailer for a Bad Film: Daddy’s Home 2. Considering how bad that movie turned out, it is a miracle that the first trailer was so damn entertaining. It made everyone think that this was going to be way better than the first one. To quote our president, “Wrong.”
Best Performance in a Bad Film: Denzel Washington (Roman J. Israel, Esq.). Denzel was really great in this snooze of a film. Roman tried to be some kind of a thriller, but it left out the thrill. Washington, however, was amazing as the weird and twitchy lawyer.
Most Overrated: Dunkirk. This still may be my own fault. I saw this in IMAX and the sound was so loud that it nearly made me sick. I counted the minutes until this torture was over. That may not have been the fault of the movie, but I do not care to try it again.
Favorite “Rotten” Movie: The Book of Henry. At 21% on the Tomatometer, the Book of Henry is a terribly reviewed film, but I came out of it loving it. I thought the performances were great and, despite a weird ending, I truly thought this was way better than any of the critics made it out to be. Runner-Up: Phoenix Forgotten
Worst TV Adaptation: Chips. This thing was just a travesty. I was never a huge fan of the original series, but this film was an insult to it and any other police show ever shown. It made the other TV adaptation of the year, Baywatch, a bad movie in its own right, look like an Oscar winner in comparison. Runner-Up: Baywatch
Cashing a Paycheck: Anthony Hopkins (Transformers: The Last Knight). That is Sir Anthony Hopkins, please. Hopkins is so bad in this movie that it is desperately clear that he does not care one iota about a performance. He just is throwing everything at the fan and seeing what they keep. Runner-Up: Tommy Lee Jones (Just Getting Started)
The Tommy Wiseau in the The Room Film So Bad it is Good Award: Unforgettable. Unintentional comedy at its finest. I have heard people say that Unforgettable, starring Rosario Dawson and Katherine Heigl, was the funniest comedy of the year. Another Fatal Attraction rip off with all the same beats to it. This was funnier than Chips.
Can We Insult Teachers More Award: Fist Fight. As a teacher, I found this ridiculous film one of the worst of the year and totally insulting to the profession of education (as well as administrator and student).
Reboot THIS!: Flatliners. Such a terrible film. It takes a passable film from the 80s and makes it into one of the crappiest films of 2017. Who greenlit this idea?
Come on Netflix, Can’t You Do Better Than This?: You Got Me. I don’t remember much about this except it was a Fatal Attraction ripoff with Bella Thorne. If Netflix wants to be considered in the movie business, this cannot be what they offer.
No, really…the book was better: Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Long Haul. The Dairy series had been reasonably harmless, at times even entertaining. And then they put out this load of garbage.