Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)

Netflix dropped the new version of Texas Chainsaw Massacre, the “sequel” to the original film from 1974. The new Texas Chainsaw Massacre seemed to take a page out of the book of the new Halloween films by picking up the story decades later while retconning the sequels that came after it. They even tossed in an old survivor from the original film as a character.

A group of influencers come to Harlow to create a mecca for culture by buying up failed businesses and opening a restaurant or comic book shop. As they were there, they heard about the legend of Leatherface, the killer from the original movie who disappeared for 50 years. Hey, guess what… Leatherface is in the town! What do you know?

The group of young people, led by Melody (Sarah Yarkin), her sister Lila (Elsie Fisher), Dante (Jacob Latimore), and Ruth (Nell Hudson), come into an old, broken down orphanage where Leatherface’s mommy was keeping him hidden. When the group made the old woman leave the place, she had a heart attack (or something) and died, triggering Leatherface to start cutting off faces and other body parts.

The young influencers also came across a redneck hick named Richter (Moe Dunford) who immediately took a dislike to the group because of their liberal ideals. He called them a cult.

This film went out of the way to punish anyone who would believe in any kind of “cancel culture” or liberal agenda. The film seemed overjoyed to slice up anyone who might take that ideal.

Leatherface, like many other slashers, seemed to be able to move freely around the area without any concern for time. He was here and then mere moments later, he was there. He was exactly wherever the movie’s plot needed him to be without any need for explanation or believability. I do not think there was any kind of mysticism taking place here, although Leatherface sure seemed spry for someone who would have been in his, what, seventies, at least.

The film was filled with gore and then some more gore. It sacrificed any chance for character development for more gore. They even brought in a literal bus full of people to be nothing more than victims. Even this movie’s Laurie Strode wannabe, Sally Hardesty (Olwen Fouéré), did not have any character at all. She even had a chance to finish everything early, but she just let Leatherface go. It was an insane scene that made zero sense.

The film made Lily a survivor of a school shooting and did nothing but use that as a repulsive tag. It showed her fascinated by redneck Richter’s assault gun in one of the most distasteful moments of the flick.

The film is only concerned with being a gore fest, and that it does regularly. There were some truly disgusting kills, but there was nothing here that required a new Texas Chainsaw Massacre to be made. It seemed as if it only wanted to remake 2018 Halloween and punish those privileged Gen Z people who only want to make the world a better place. Off with their heads, I guess.

This is bad.

0.8 stars

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