The Munsters

Oy vey.

As a kid, I used to like The Munsters when I saw them as reruns. They were no Addams Family, but it was still enjoyable enough. Apparently, director Rob Zombie was also a fan as he rebooted the series into a movie that found its way onto Netflix.

We got a sneak peak at the film through a trailer that dropped a few months ago that was nearly universally panned as horrendous. There were some people who even speculated that the trailer was a joke… or an elaborate plot to lead into a more Rob Zombie-like film, with gore and violence.

Nope.

It just was the movie.

The Munsters told the origin story of the making of Herman Munster (Jeff Daniel Phillips) and the love story between Herman and Lily (Sheri Moon Zombie). Despite the objections of The Count (Daniel Roebuck)- who was referred to on the TV show as Grandpa, Herman and Lily got married and wound up moving to California.

This was a family comedy, but it has been a long time since I saw a film as unfunny as The Munsters. I’m not sure I even giggled once. That is a bad sign for a comedy. In fact, there were too many times where I just stared at the screen dumfounded at what I was seeing.

The film is ridiculously flashing colored. There is more neon in this movie than anything I have seen and it absolutely does not fit with the Munsters, which is meant to be in black and white. Herman and The Count, in particular, looked terrible because of the colors of their faces.

Even my beloved Jorge Garcia (LOST’s Hugo “Hurley” Reyes) was a disappointment. I could not tell who he was, even though it was obvious. Garcia’s voice was so different and weird, but his character was lacking and disappears about half way through.

In fact, there feels like there were a bunch of storylines that had been brought up during the movie but were never truly paid off, if not outright dropped along the way. Even though the film was too long, it felt as if there were some missing parts to it.

One of the worst trailers of the year turned into one of the worst movies of the year. Rob Zombie should not have tried his hand at comedy. There was a world where a Munsters movie was a dark and brutal comedy, but this was not that. This was brutal in a whole different way.

0.75 stars

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