National Biographic

-LMM

“Welcome to National Biographic! Today, we here have the Common Male American, but as you can tell, this is a big catch today,“ The camera zoomed into a guy at a park that looked identical to Tom Crust, just trying to eat a sandwich in peace. “Here we catch this wild animal snacking on it’s natural prey, The Sandwich, this creature is typically an easy one to find eating, as that’s it’s main directive in life! Isn’t that awesome?” The camera focused on the sandwich, and then the person turned towards us. “It appears that the predator has spotted our filming team capturing their essence,”

“Dude, why are you filming me?” The person got closer to the camera.

“Go, go!” The camera was dragged against grass and concrete so nothing was seen, only heard.

“Hey! Get back here!”

“Go back to the studio!” The camera cut, and returned to the inside of a tree, pointing downwards back at the same person.

“Welcome back to National Biographic, today, we have found the Common Male American yet again, besides it’s name having the word common, this is actually quite a rare species! Only one of these Common Male Americans that exists in the world!” The camera focused yet again, this time the person was walking away from the park. “Quietly we must follow,” And the camera fell to the ground, cracking the lens, and on a sidewalk facing the person.

“What the- Are you still filming me?” The person shouted. “Do you think I’m Tom Crust or something?” They shouted again. The sound of the production team falling out the tree was heard, but they weren’t in the field of view. 

“Wait, are you not? Scrap everything! Who fact checked this? Just leave the camera on the ground, it’s useless!” The team bickered and walked away. The person then walked up to the camera, and picked up the camera.

“I wasn’t expecting that to work so well, too bad I am Tom Crust… They’ll get over it,” Tom Crust then pressed pause on the camera, stopping everything.