My maid is cleaning the bathroom, so I can’t take a shower When I do, the water starts getting cold after an hour I couldn’t order off the breakfast menu, cause I slept in till two Then I filled up on bread, didn’t leave any room for tiramisu Oh no, there’s a pixel out in the corner of my laptop screen I don’t have any bills in my wallet small enough for the vending machine Some idiot just called me up on the phone, what!? Don’t they know how to text? OMG! I got
First world, first world problems (First world problems) First world, first world problems (First world problems) First world, first world problems
I bought too many groceries for my refrigerator Forgot my gardener’s name, I’ll have to ask him later Tried to fast forward commercials, can’t, I’m watching live T.V I’m pretty sure the cookies in this airport lounge ain’t gluten free My barista didn’t even bother to make a design in the foam on the top of my vanilla latte
First world, first world problems (First world problems) First world, first world problems (First world problems) First world, first world problems
Can’t remember which car I drove to the mall My Sonicare won’t recharge, now I gotta brush my teeth like a neanderathal The thread count on these cotton sheets has got me itching My house is so big, I can’t get WiFi in the kitchen Uh, I had to buy something I didn’t even need just So I could qualify for free shipping on Amazon
First world, first world problems (First world problems) First world, first world problems (First world problems) First world, first world problems (First world problems)
First world, first world problems (First world problems) First world, first world problems (First world problems) First world, first world problems
Widow’s Bay has been one of the best shows on TV recently. The Apple TV show was a real surprise with how wonderful it was. A wonderful blend of comedy and horror, Widow’s Bay ended their first season with a big twist.
All season long, I was making references to LOST with this show, and this episode drove those references wildly. We get a shot of what looked exactly like the moment when the hatch was opened and they were looking down the shaft. This was with Evan and his friends looked down the shaft. I recognized that shot right away.. it was just missing Jack and John looking down.
Another LOST allusion was the discovery of the film cannister explaining how to sacrifice people to the island. I said out loud after that scene ended that “We need to watch that again” which was a famous line said by both John Locke and Mr. Eko in LOST. This film in this episode was right out of the Dharma Initiative training.
There is also major issues about births on the two shows. On LOST, women could not successfully give birth on the Island and on Widow’s Bay, children born on the island can not leave or they would die. Just the idea that both shows refer to the Island as if it were a real person is a connection that is here.
There are times when I see things that remind me of LOST that are probably not there, or are just my own over-analysis. These are not the case. I refuse to believe that this is anything but an homage to LOST.
The whole Ruth is the final descendent of Richard Warren storyline brought us the big twist. The whole time Tom was in her house, preparing to do her in, I was holding my breath, hoping beyond all hope that he would not kill her. When Bechir left the bunker, I knew what he was going to do. The show tried to make you think that he was going to try and prevent Tom from killing Ruth, but I could see his motivation coming. I was shocked though when he shot her in the back of the head (apparently only glancing, though).
Making Ruth the “secret-mother” of Tom’s wife Lauren was a stroke of genius, which means, of course, that Evan is the last surviving descent of Warren, which immediately switches Tom’s motivation. It is probably a major storyline moving into season 2.
Ruth seemed to be able to survive all of these murder attempts, not falling victim to Tom’s tea poison and not dying after the sheriff shot her in the head. I sure hope she did survive the night, because she was awesome and who else is going to help Deidre up and down her steps?
Does that bell ringing at the end of the episode mean that the island wants 8 more sacrifices? That is sure what I took from it. I assume that Kenny was the first sacrifice, which is why the storm subdued in such a rapid fire moment.
Matthew Rhys was astonishing in this role all season, but his performance here was Emmy worthy.
I hope we do not have to wait too long for season two. The show has been renewed for a second season and no show on TV deserves one more than Widow’s Bay.
Style: Originally intended as a pastiche of The Presidents of the United States
Topic: The excitement of a new Hardware Store opening
Hardware Store is one of Weird Al’s originals that everyone is incredibly impressed by because it features one of the fastest rap sections imaginable. It was something that, when recorded, nearly caused Al to go unconscious. He has never performed this live because of the near impossibility of the riff.
Lyrics
Nothin’ ever (ever) happens in this town Feelin’ low down (down), not a lot to do around here I thought that I would go right out of my mind Until a friend told me the news He said, “Hey, you know that vacant lot Right beside the gas station? Well, somebody bought it And on that spot they’re gonna build a shop Where we can go buy bolts and screws”
Since then I’ve been walking on air (air) I can barely brush my teeth or comb my hair ‘Cause I’m so excited and I really don’t care I’ve been waiting since last June For this day to finally arrive I’m so happy (happy) now just to be alive ‘Cause any minute now I’m gonna be inside Well, I hope they open soon
I can’t wait, no, I can’t wait (oh, when) When are they gonna open up that door? I’m goin’ (yes, I’m) goin’, I’m a-goin’ to the Goin’ to the (hard) ware, I’m goin’, really goin’ to the Goin’ (hard), I’m goin’ to the (hard), oh, yes, I’m goin’ to the Hardware store
In my sleeping bag I camped out overnight Right in front of the store, then as soon as it was light out I pressed my nose right up against the glass You know, I had to be first in line Gonna get me a flashlight and a broom Want a pair of pliers for every single room of my house See those hacksaws? Very, very soon One of them will be all mine
Guys with nametags walking down the aisles Rows of garden hoses that go on for miles and miles Brand new socket wrenches in a plethora of styles All arranged alphabetically And they’re doing a promotional stunt There’s a great big purple sign out front That says every 27th customer Will get a ball peen hammer free
I can’t wait, no, I can’t wait (oh, when) When are they gonna open up that door? I’m goin’ (yes, I’m) goin’, I’m a-goin’ to the Goin’ to the (hard) ware, I’m goin’, really goin’ to the Goin’ (hard), I’m goin’ to the (hard), oh, yes, I’m goin’ to the Hardware store I’m goin’ (yes, I’m) goin’, I’m a-goin’ to the Goin’ to the (hard) ware, I’m goin’, really goin’ to the Goin’ (hard), I’m goin’ to the (hard), oh, yes, I’m goin’ to the Hardware store
They’ve got allen wrenches, gerbil feeders, toilet seats, electric heaters Trash compactors, juice extractor, shower rods, and water meters Walkie-talkies, copper wires safety goggles, radial tires BB pellets, rubber mallets, fans and dehumidifiers Picture hangers, paper cutters, waffle irons, window shutters Paint removers, window louvres, masking tape and plastic gutters Kitchen faucets, folding tables, weather stripping, jumper cables Hooks and tackle, grout and spackle, power foggers, spoons and ladles
Pesticides for fumigation, high-performance lubrication Metal roofing, water proofing, multi-purpose insulation Air compressors, brass connectors, wrecking chisels, smoke detectors Tire guages, hamster cages, thermostats, and bug deflectors Trailer hitch demagnetizers, automatic circumcisers Tennis rackets, angle brackets, Duracells and Energizers Soffit panels, circuit brakers, vacuum cleaners, coffee makers Calculators, generators, matching salt and pepper shakers
I can’t wait, no, I can’t wait (oh, when) When are they gonna open the door? I’m goin’ (yes, I’m) goin’, I’m a-goin’ to the Goin’ to the (hard) ware, I’m goin’, really goin’ to the Goin’ (hard), I’m goin’ to the (hard), oh, yes, I’m goin’ to the Hardware store
I’m goin’ (yes, I’m) goin’, I’m a-goin’ to the Goin’ to the (hard) ware, I’m goin’, really goin’ to the Goin’ (hard), I’m goin’ to the (hard), oh, yes, I’m goin’ to the Hardware store I’m goin’ (yes, I’m) goin’, I’m a-goin’ to the Goin’ to the (hard) ware, I’m goin’, really goin’ to the Goin’ (hard), I’m goin’ to the (hard), oh, yes, I’m goin’ to the Hardware store
Topic: Santa snaps and goes on a North Pole murder spree
I love this song. The idea of a disgruntled Santa flipping out is great. There is a really funny “Extra Gory Version” that I heard for the first time on Dr. Demento Show.
Lyrics
Down in the workshop all the elves were makin’ toys For the good gentile girls and the good gentile boys When the boss busted in, nearly scared ’em half to death Had a rifle in his hands and cheap whiskey on his breath From his beard to his boots he was covered with ammo Like a big fat drunk disgruntled Yuletide Rambo And he smiled as he said with a twinkle in his eye “Merry Christmas to all, now you’re all gonna die”
The night Santa went crazy The night St. Nick went insane Realized he’d been gettin’ a raw deal Something finally must have snapped in his brain
Well, the workshop is gone now, he decided to bomb it Everywhere you’ll find pieces of Cupid and Comet And he tied up his helpers and he held the elves hostage And he ground up poor Rudolph into reindeer sausage He got Dancer and Prancer with an old German Luger And he slashed up Dasher just like Freddy Krueger And he picked up a flamethrower and he barbequed Blitzen And he took a big bite and said, “It tastes just like chicken”
The night Santa went crazy The night Kris Kringle went nuts Now you can’t hardly walk around the North Pole Without steppin’ in reindeer guts
There’s the National Guard and the FBI There’s a van from the Eyewitness News And helicopters circlin’ ’round in the sky And the bullets are flyin’, the body count’s risin’ And everyone’s dyin’ to know, oh Santa, why? My my my my my my You used to be such a jolly guy
Yes, Virginia, now Santa’s doing time In a Federal prison for his infamous crime Hey little friend now, don’t you cry no more tears He’ll be out with good behavior in seven hundred more years But now Vixen’s in therapy and Donner’s still nervous And the elves all got jobs working for the Postal Service And they say Mrs. Clause, she’s on the phone every night With her lawyer negotiating the movie rights
They’re talkin’ bout, the night Santa went crazy The night St. Nicholas flipped Broke his back for some milk and cookies Sounds to me like he was tired of gettin’ gypped
Whoa oh, the night Santa went crazy The night St. Nick went insane Realized he’d gettin’ a raw deal Something finally must have snapped in his brain Whoa oh, something finally must have snapped in his brain Tell ya, something finally must have snapped in his brain
Yes Virginia, Now Santa is dead Some guy From the swat team blew a hole through his head Yes little friend now, that’s his brains on the floor, I guess they wont have the fat guy kicking around anymore But now there’s no more presents for children’s enjoyment And the Elves have to wait in the line and file for unemployment And they say Mrs. Clause, she’s on the phone every night With her lawyer negotiating the movie rights
The Agents of Shield finished up their adventure in the future with some major battling, found Robin, the little girl (now older woman) who could see the future, killed the Kree, including Kasius and Sinara and had Flint create a monolith so they could return to their own time.
Very busy.
I was not 100% in love with the future stuff, but it did provide us with some major storyline bits including:
Yo Yo meeting herself (without arms) and she revealed about Coulson’s sickness.
Deke, who seemed to sacrifice himself, arrived back in the present with Shield- and had a surprising familial connection.
The Lighthouse is one awesome HQ.
Once back, things got wild as the team learned of Coulson’s impending death, and they got made that he did not tell them about it. Deke was taking in all of the wonders of the earth he had never seen…including Zema. Fitz and Simmons gets married.
The Fitz and Simmons wedding led to a major reveal… that Deke is their grandchild, though no one is aware.
Deathlok came back for back up to close a dimensional riff in a lower level of the Lighthouse. It was manifesting fears from a “Fear Dimension” that was trying to kill them.
General Hale is a horrendous character. She was a clear antagonist for our team, but it does get a little old to have the generals always being the antagonists. Plus, her daughter is a weird assassin of some sort who cut off Yo Yo’s arms.
The whole earth gets blown up plotline is still active and unsolved as of yet, but I know that the series does deal with that story before the end of season 5.
Written: Adele Laurie Blue Adkins / Al Yankovic / Ariana Grande / Attticus Matthew Ross / Austin J. Owens / Belcalis Almanzar / Billie Eilish O’Connell / Charles K. Wilson / Charles Michael Anderson / Daniel Nigro / Devon Christopher Gallaspy / Edward Christopher Sheeran / Er
Songs: “Bad Guy,” “Hello,” “Flowers,” “We Don’t Talk About Bruno,” “Vampire,” “Old Town Road,” “Despacito,” “Shape of You,” “Uptown Funk,” “WAP,” “Thank U, Next,” “Shake It Off”
They may be some recency bias involved in this one, as Polkamania is the most recent song Weird Al has put out. However, it is an epic polka that has spanned the years after the release of Mandatory Fun with some of the best songs of that period. It also shows how starved I was for new Weird Al song content.
Lyrics
So you’re a tough guy Like it really rough guy Just can’t get enough guy Chest always so puffed guy I’m that bad type Make your mama sad type Make your girlfriend mad type Might seduce your dad type I’m the bad guy Duh
(Adele / Hello) So hello from the other side I must’ve called a thousand times To tell you I’m sorry for breaking your heart But it don’t matter, it clearly doesn’t tear you apart Anymore
(Miley Cyrus / Flowers) I can buy myself flowers Write my name in the sand Talk to myself for hours Say things you don’t understand I can take myself dancing And I can hold my own hand Yeah, I can love me better than you can
(Cast of Encanto / Lin-Manuel Miranda / We Don’t Talk About Bruno We don’t talk about Bruno, no, no, no We don’t talk about Bruno
(Olivia Rodrigo / Vampire) I used to think I was smart But you made me look so naïve The way you sold me for parts You sunk your teeth into me, oh Bloodsucker, dream crusher Bleedin’ me dry, like a gosh darn vampire
(Lil Nas X / Old Town Road) Yeah, I’m gonna take my horse to the old town road I’m gonna ride ’til I can’t no more I’m gonna take my horse to the old town road I’m gonna ride ’til I can’t no more Can’t nobody tell me nothing (You can’t tell me nothing) No! Can’t nobody tell me nothing
Despacito Quiero respirar tu cuello despacito Deja que te diga cosas al oído Para que te acuerdes si no estás conmigo (Sube, sube, sube)
Mmm I’m in love with the shape of you We push and pull like a magnet do Every day discovering something brand new I’m in love with your body Oh I oh I oh I oh I I’m in love with your body Oh I oh I oh I oh I Yoda-loda lady hoo!
‘Cause uptown funk gon’ give it to you ‘Cause uptown funk gon’ give it to you Saturday night and we in the spot Don’t believe me just watch (hey!) (Doo doo doo, doo doo doo)
(Cardi B feat. Megan Thee Stallion / WAP) I want you to park that big Mack truck right in this little garage Yeah, you messing with some Bring a bucket and a mop for this Give me everything you got for this I’m talking WAP, WAP, WAP, that’s some
(Ariana Grande / Thank U, Next) Thank you, next Thank you, next Thank you, next I’m so super grateful for my ex Thank you, next Thank you, next Thank you, next Super-duper grateful for my ex
(Taylor Swift / Shake It Off) Wait! I just killed my ex Not the best idea Killed his girlfriend next, how’d I get here? I just killed my ex I still love him, though Rather be in hell than all alone
I stay out too late Got nothing in my brain That’s what people say, mm-mm That’s what people say, mm-mm ‘Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate Baby, I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake I shake it off, I shake it off (hoo-hoo-hoo) Heartbreakers gonna break, break, break, break, break And the fakers gonna fake, fake, fake, fake, fake Baby, I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake I shake it off, I shake it off That’s right, I’m gonna Shake it Off (Gonna shake it off) (Shake, shake, shake it off) (Now watch me shake it off) Hey!”
Title: “The North Korea Polka (Please Don’t Nuke Us)”
Album: None
Appeared: HBO’s Last Week Tonight with John Oliver
Date: August 2017
Written: Al Yankovic
Genre: Polka
Topic: “John Oliver noted that North Korea has a surprising cultural affinity for the accordion. To take advantage of this, he brought in Yankovic and his signature accordion to ”communicate’ with the nation” –Entertainment Tonight
What an awesome surprise this was. Weird Al, who usually does medley polkas, provided an actual original song about North Korea. “The song was created as a satirical de-escalation plea during a time of heightened nuclear tensions between the U.S. and North Korea.” -www.weirdal.com.
Lyrics
Would you annihilate us if you had the chance? That’s such an antisocial thing to do You’ve got us crapping our collective pants May I suggest you take it down a notch or two
We’re not exactly sure why you’re upset Did that Seth Rogen movie make you super mad? You’d like us if you got to know us i bet We’re mostly harmless decent people, hey we’re really not so bad
My point is! Please don’t nuke us North Korea Right now we’re all a little tense Believe me! We don’t hate you Frankly we don’t even think that much about you, no offense
Now you might call us “bloodthirsty dogs” But that metaphor’s not very apt Were just a bunch of simple fidget-spinning goofy dorks Who probably couldn’t find your country on a map
No we’re not savages or cannibals Well maybe just a really really really small percent So I think it would be best if you’d knock off those missile tests Don’t turn us into cinder while we’re swiping right on Tinder Don’t jump start Armageddon or our beds will soon be wetter Won’t you think this through for a moment please Now why would you bomb our nice celebrities? Oh why in the world would you kill Tom Hanks? Cause nobody doesn’t like Tom Hanks!
So! Please don’t nuke us North Korea That would seriously ruin our day Remember! We’re not evil psychotic monsters No matter what the news may say We’re just those goofballs from the U.S.A! (Please don’t nuke us) (Please don’t nuke us) (Please don’t nuke us) Hey!
I have had a pretty good run with the 2026 June Swoon 5. Ten really good, enjoyable movies so far. It is sad that had to come to an end, but I kind of expected it.
I have three movies I am going to today at Cinemark and so I needed a shorter movie. I just did a short yesterday and I wanted to avoid another right now. I found a film on Peacock that was only 1 hour and 20 minutes, that would work for the schedule. Unfortunately, it was Bambi: The Reckoning.
I have seen several of these movies. Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey, Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey 2, and Screamboat. Of those, I did not hate Screamboat as much as I hated the Winnie the Pooh movies, but it was not good by any stretch.
I gave it my best shot to come into this movie with an open mind, but that was wiped away early on.
According to IMDB, “A car wreck strands a mother and son in the deep woods where a mutated, vengeful deer stalks them. As local hunters and an obsessive grandmother converge, the forest becomes a bloody arena for a grieving creature’s primal rage.”
The writing on this is atrocious. I’m not sure that there is one redeeming character in the film. I was openly rooting for Bambi to kill these miserable excuses for human beings. Funnily enough, Bambi did not directly kill several of them.
The dialogue was basically yelling other characters’ names.
When most of these kills are funnier than scarier, you know you’ve got a problem. My favorite was the guy who got dragged behind a van as they were trying to escape from Bambi. What a completely random death.
There are some unintendedly funny moments and so little made sense. I could not bring myself to give this the “So Bad, It’s Good” ranking because there was just nothing good about it. Maybe if the RiffTrax crew would riff this, there might be something worth the time.
This may not sink to the depths of Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey or its sequel, but it was nowhere near Screamboat. That is saying something.
Topic: Wishing happy birthday while discussing all the worst things on the earth.
I love this song. I play it every year for my birthday and I have sent it to several people over Facebook or other social media platform.
“And a pinch to grow an inch!”
Lyrics
Happy birthday Happy birthday to you Happy birthday Happy birthday to you
Well, it’s time to celebrate your birthday, it happens every year We’ll eat a lot of broccoli and drink a lot of beer You should be good and happy that there’s something you can eat A million people every day are starving in the street
Your daddy’s in the gutter with the wretched and the poor Your mama’s in the kitchen with a can of Cycle Four There’s garbage in the water There’s poison in the sky I guess it won’t be long before we’re all gonna die
Happy birthday Happy birthday to you Happy birthday Happy birthday to you
Well, what’s the matter little friend? You think this party is the pits? Enjoy it while you can, we’ll soon be blown to bits The monkeys in the Pentagon are gonna cook our goose Their finger’s on the button, all they need is an excuse
It doesn’t take a military genius to see We’ll all be crispy critters after World War III There’s nowhere you can run to, nowhere you can hide When they drop the big one, we all get fried Come on, boys and girls, sing along, okay?
Happy birthday Happy birthday to you Happy birthday Happy birthday to you (wow!)
Well, there’s a punk in the alley and he’s looking for a fight There’s an Arab on the corner buying everything in sight There’s a mother in the ghetto with another mouth to feed Seems that everywhere you look today there’s misery and greed
I guess you know the earth is gonna crash into the sun But that’s no reason why we shouldn’t have a little fun So if you think it’s scary, if it’s more than you can take Just blow out the candles and have a piece of cake
Happy birthday Happy birthday to you Happy birthday Happy birthday to you (wow!)
Happy birthday Happy birthday to you Happy birthday Happy birthday to you
Parody: “It’s All About the Benjamins” by Puff Daddy
Written: Sean Combs / Kimberly Jones / David Styles / Sean Jacobs / Jason Phillips / Christopher Wallace / Terry M. Etlinger / Linda Laurie / Deric Angelettie / Al Yankovic
Genre: Rap/Comedy
Topic: Computers
We enter the Top 20 of the Top 100 with one of Weird Al’s first examples of his skill in rapping.
Lyrics
It’s all about the Pentiums, baby Uhh, uh-huh, yeah Uhh, uh-huh, yeah It’s all about the Pentiums, baby It’s all about the Pentiums, baby It’s all about the Pentiums! (it’s all about the Pentiums, baby) It’s all about the Pentiums! (it’s all about the Pentiums, baby) Yeah
What y’all wanna do? Wanna be hackers? Code crackers? Slackers Wastin’ time with all the chatroom yakkers? Nine to five, chillin’ at Hewlett Packard? Workin’ at a desk with a dumb little placard? Yeah, payin’ the bills with my mad programming skills Defraggin’ my hard drive for thrills I got me a hundred gigabytes of RAM I never feed trolls and I don’t read spam Installed a T1 line in my house Always at my PC, double-clickin’ on my mizouse Upgrade my system at least twice a day I’m strictly plug-and-play, I ain’t afraid of Y2K I’m down with Bill Gates, I call him Money for short I phone him up at home and I make him do my tech support It’s all about the Pentiums, what? You’ve gotta be the dumbest newbie I’ve ever seen You’ve got white-out all over your screen You think your Commodore 64 is really neato What kinda chip you got in there, a Dorito? You’re usin’ a 286? Don’t make me laugh Your Windows boots up in what, a day and a half? You could back up your whole hard drive on a floppy diskette You’re the biggest joke on the Internet Your database is a disaster You’re waxin’ your modem, tryin’ to make it go faster Hey fella, I bet you’re still livin’ in your parents’ cellar Downloadin’ pictures of Sarah Michelle Gellar And postin’ “Me too!” like some brain-dead AOL-er I should do the world a favor and cap you like Old Yeller You’re just about as useless as jpegs to Hellen Keller
It’s all about the Pentiums! (it’s all about the Pentiums, baby) It’s all about the Pentiums! (it’s all about the Pentiums, baby) It’s all about the Pentiums! (it’s all about the Pentiums, baby) It’s all about the Pentiums! (it’s all about the Pentiums, baby)
Now, what y’all wanna do? Wanna be hackers? Code crackers? Slackers Wastin’ time with all the chatroom yakkers? Nine to five, chillin’ at Hewlett Packard?
Uh, uh, loggin’ in now Wanna run wit my crew, hah? Rule cyberspace and crunch numbers like I do? They call me the king of the spreadsheets Got ’em all printed out on my bedsheets My new computer’s got the clocks, it rocks But it was obsolete before I opened the box You say you’ve had your desktop for over a week? Throw that junk away, man, it’s an antique Your laptop is a month old? Well that’s great If you could use a nice, heavy paperweight My digital media is write-protected Every file inspected, no viruses detected I beta tested every operating system Gave props to some, and others? I dissed ’em While your computer’s crashin’, mine’s multitaskin’ It does all my work without me even askin’ Got a flat-screen monitor forty inches wide I believe that your says “Etch-A-Sketch” on the side In a 32-bit world, you’re a 2-bit user You’ve got your own newsgroup, alt.total-loser Your motherboard melts when you try to send a fax Where’d you get your CPU, in a box of Cracker Jacks? Play me online? Well, you know that I’ll beat you If I ever meet you I’ll control-alt-delete you What? What? What? What? What?
It’s all about the Pentiums! (it’s all about the Pentiums, baby) It’s all about the Pentiums! (it’s all about the Pentiums, baby) It’s all about the Pentiums! (it’s all about the Pentiums, baby) It’s all about the Pentiums! (it’s all about the Pentiums, baby)
Now, what y’all wanna do? Wanna be hackers? Code crackers? Slackers Wastin’ time with all the chatroom yakkers? Nive to five, chillin’ at Hewlett Packard? What?
The animated film The Pout-Pout Fish dropped on Amazon Prime recently. It was one of the films I did not see in the theaters, so I streamed it on Prime.
I’ll get this out of the way. The animation was excellent. It looked great, and the designs of the fish were clever and fun.
That was about all I liked about this one.
According to IMDB, “Living on a rundown shipwreck, Mr. Fish one day discovers a hyperactive young sea dragon Pip – who had mistaken his home for a junkyard – pilfering his belongings. The heated argument that ensues leaves both their houses in ruin. But there is hope. Embarking on a seemingly impossible quest in search of the mythical “Shimmer” to grant them a wish, there’s only one problem: someone else is on the hunt.“
I am afraid that this movie just never hit with me. I had a lot of trouble with some of the physics of the story. It seemed like they forgot at times that there was water around everyone. Things seemed to fall like they would without water and it bugged me.
Then, the character of Pip was just about as annoying as I have ever heard in animation. I was done with this character very early as well.
The film was very predictable and overall bland. Nick Offerman, who I have always enjoyed, just did not seem to fit the voice of the character of Mr. Fish.
I thought the trio of pink dolphins (voiced by Amy Sedaris) were the best part of the film, because you do not usually see dolphins as antagonists.
This one was a disappointment. I did not enjoy watching it and it felt like it took forever, even though it wasn’t that long time wise. I thought the ending was okay, but by that point, I was checked out.
Today’s June Swoon 5 film was a documentary on Amazon Prime from last year that looked at the life and career of one of the most beloved actors/comedians of the past forty years, John Candy.
The doc started off with Bill Murray trying to come up with something bad to say about John Candy, and wishing the producers luck in their investigation to find some dirt on the man. It was a real funny kick off to the show and did a great job of pointing out how universally beloved men John Candy was.
There were a litany of stars who had nothing but amazing things to say about John Candy including Tom Hanks, Dan Aykroyd, Catherine O’Hara, Macaulay Culkin, Martin Short, Eugene Levy, Dave Thomas, Andrea Martin, Steve Martin, Conan O’Brien, and Mel Brooks.
The doc does a great job of outlining how the death of John Candy’s father (when John was 5 years old) affected him as an adult, and how his behavior of drinking, smoking, eating led to his early death at 43.
It also showed what a lovely human being John Candy was and how much success he had as an actor, starting off with SCTV and ending as a movie star.
The doc also talked with John Candy’s family, his wife, his brothers, his son, and his daughter. They talked about the close relationship John Candy had developed with John Hughes, and how Candy wound up in 9 films from the director.
I liked John Candy, but I would never say that I was a huge fan of his, but I found myself tearing up at the end of the documentary, which tells you how well director Colin Hanks and the rest did with this doc. The story of them closing down a freeway in LA for John Candy’s funeral procession was amazing.
The doc is available on Amazon Prime and it moves at a brisk clip, moving through his way-too-short life and career. It is wonderful when you can look back on a person’s career and see only the good.
Written: Alfred Matthew Yankovic / Jerry Allan Horton / Tobin Esperance / Dave Buckner / Jacoby Dakota Shaddix
Songs included: “Last Resort,” “Chop Suey,” “Get Free,” “Hate To Say I Told You So,” “Fell In Love With A Girl,” “Last Nite,” “Down With The Sickness,” “Renegades Of Funk,” “My Way,” “Outside,” “Bawitdaba,” “Youth Of The Nation,” and “The Real Slim Shady.”
I am not sure that I had ever heard any of these songs prior to the polka, so it is always fun when I happen to hear a lyric from a song and i think, “Hey, that’s Weird Al’s song!”
Lyrics
Cut my life into pieces This is my last resort Suffocation, no breathing Don’t give a- if I cut my arm bleeding This is my last resort
‘Cause I’m losing my sight, losing my mind Wish somebody would tell me I’m fine Losing my sight, losing my mind Wish somebody would tell me I’m fine Nothing’s all right, nothing is fine I’m running and a-crying
Wake up (Wake up) Grab a brush and put a little make-up Hide the scars to fade away the shakeup Why’d you leave the keys upon the table? Here you go create another fable You wanted to Grab a brush and put a little makeup You wanted to Hide the scars to fade away the shakeup You wanted to Why’d you leave the keys upon the table? You wanted to I don’t think you trust In my self-righteous suicide I cry when angels deserve to die, die, die D-d-die die die die die
Hey I’m gonna get free I’m gonna get free I’m gonna get free Ride into the sun She never loved me She never loved me She never loved me Why should anyone? Come here, come here, come here I’ll take your photo for ya Come here, come here, come here Drive you around the corner Come here, come here, come here You know you really oughta Come here, come here, come here Move out to California
Do what I want ’cause I can If I don’t because I wanna Be ignored by the stiff and the bored Because I’m gonna Hate to say I told you so (all right) Do believe I told you so Now it’s all out and you knew ‘Cause I wanted to
Fell in love with a girl I fell in love at once and almost completely She’s in love with the world But sometimes these feelings can be so misleading Can’t think of anything to do Yeah, my left brain knows that all love is fleeting She’s just looking for something new Yeah, I said it once before but it bears repeating, now
Last night, she said “Oh baby, don’t you feel so down” (feel so down) “When you turn me off “When I feel left out” So I (what’d you do?) Well, I turned around (right around) “Oh, baby, gonna be alright” (gonna be alright) It was a great big lie (big old lie) ‘Cause I left that night Yeah
Ooh ah ah ah ah Ooh ah ah ah ah Get up Come on get down with the sickness Get up Come on get down with the sickness Get up Come on get down with the sickness Open up your hate and let it flow into me Get up Come on get down with the sickness You mother get up Come on get down with the sickness Get up Come on get down with the sickness Madness is the gift that has been given to me
We’re the renegades of funk We’re the renegades of funk We’re the renegades of funk We’re the renegades of funk This time I’m’a let it all come out This time I’m’a stand up and shout I’m a do things my way It’s my way My way or the highway This time I’m’a let it all come out This time I’m’a stand up and shout I’m a do things my way It’s my way Or the highway
But I’m on the outside I’m looking in I can see through you See your true colors ‘Cause inside you’re ugly Ugly like me I can see through you See to the real you
Bawitdaba da bang da dang diggy diggy Diggy said the boogie said up jump the boogie Bawitdaba da bang da dang diggy diggy Diggy said the boogie said up jump the boogie
We are, we are The youth of the nation We are, we are The youth of the nation
We are, we are The youth of the nation We are the youth of the nation Hey
I’m Slim Shady, yes I’m the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating So won’t the real Slim Shady please stand up Please stand up Please stand up
I’m Slim Shady, yes I’m the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating So won’t the real Slim Shady please Please, please stand up
Slim Shady won’t you please stand up? (Stand up Shady)(Stand up) (Stand up Shady)(Stand up) Shady, won’t you please stand up? Hey
This was originally a live broadcast of the Broadway play, Good Night and Good Luck on CNN and CNN International. I wish that there were more examples of this form, movie recorded as the Broadway play, so we could get more of an exposure to this type of entertainment.
I have been excited to see this since I put it on the Netflix queue and i figured the June Swoon 5 would be a perfect place for it.
This play showed the lead up and eventual confrontation between the junior senator from Wisconsin, Joseph McCarthy and CBS newsman Edward R. Murrow, as well as the journalists and news people behind the scenes at CBS.
I found this to be completely enthralling and totally thrilling. The play used videos of Joseph McCarthy as well as other important people of the time to help illuminate the story.
George Clooney starred as Murrow and he was excellent. A personal favorite of mine was also here, Clark Gregg, who was well known as Agent Coulson in the MCU. He played newscaster Don Hollenbeck. There was a scene in this play between Clooney and Gregg that was just amazing and showed off Gregg’s skills tremendously.
Glenn Fleschler played Fred Friendly and his relationship with Murrow was another part of this story. It was some of the best dialogue you will hear and consistently was both funny and poignant.
The only thing that was distracting for me was that fact that every time the character of Joe Wershba, played by Carter Hudson, spoke, it sounded like John Ratzenberger. That did not take away from his strong performance in the play, but it was something that I thought of every time he spoke.
I wish there were more of these type of films. Not just adaptations of stage plays, but actual stage plays as they are presented on Broadway. I would definitely go see something like this in a theater.
Written: Martin Karl Sandberg / Andreas Michael Carlsson / Al Yankovic
Style: Pop/Comedy
Topic: an obsessive shopper and the online website, eBay.
The song ends with several “EEEEE”s after the ending of the official lyrics. It is a very funny bit and the parody hits too close to home as I do love me some eBay.
Lyrics
Yeah
A used pink bathrobe A rare mint snow globe A Smurf TV tray I bought on eBay
My house is filled with this crap Shows up in bubble wrap Most every day What I bought on eBay
Tell me why I need another pet rock Tell me why I got that elf alarm clock Tell me why I bid on Shatner’s old toupee They had it on eBay
I’ll buy your knick-knack Just check my feedback A plus-plus, they all say They love me on eBay
Gonna buy a slightly damaged golf bag Gonna buy some beanie babies, new with tag From some guy I’ve never met in Norway Found him on Ebay
I am the type who is liable to snipe you With two seconds left to go, whoa Got PayPal or Visa, whatever’ll please ya As long as I’ve got the dough
I’ll buy your Tchotchkes Sell me your watch, please I’ll buy (I’ll buy, I’ll buy, I’ll buy) I’m highest bidder
Junk keeps arriving in the mail (now, yeah) From that worldwide garage sale (Dukes of Hazard ashtray) Hey, a Dukes of Hazard ashtray (oh, yeah) I bought it on eBay
Wanna buy a Pac-Man Fever lunchbox Wanna buy a case of Vintage tube socks Wanna buy a Kleenex used by Dr. Dre (used by Dr. Dre) Found it on eBay
Wanna buy that Farrah Fawcet poster Pez dispensers and a toaster Don’t know why The kind of stuff you’d throw away (away I throw) I’ll buy on eBay
EYG- Embrace Your Geekness 