I did not see Uatu the Watcher anywhere in this movie.

Seriously though, the question I had was What If … I had liked this crappy movie?.

According to IMDB, “This forest isn’t charted on any map. Every car breaks down at its treeline. Mina’s (Dakota Fanning) is no different. Left stranded, she is forced into the dark woodland only to find a woman shouting, urging Mina to run to a concrete bunker. As the door slams behind her, the building is besieged by screams. Mina finds herself in a room with a wall of glass, and an electric light that activates at nightfall, when the Watchers come above ground. These creatures emerge to observe their captive humans and terrible things happen to anyone who doesn’t reach the bunker in time.“

The premise sounded interesting, but the film was anything but. Directed by Ishana Shyamalan, the feature directorial debut for the daughter of M. Night Shyamalan, The Watchers had lots of familiar elements to it, but nothing that feels as though it was necessary to make a movie out of.

The characters were all fairly simplistic. Even Mina’s backstory did not make me connect to Mina at all. In fact, I did not like her much at all. I was more connected to the bird, Darwin, and I continuously wondered if they ever fed or watered that poor bird.

Those were the things I thought about instead of the purported plot that the film tossed us into.

The ending, which there were two… just be aware, was very anticlimactic and did little to salvage what had been a boring time inside these scary, supernatural woods.

It constantly make little sense and there was a ton of exposition that you are never sure is accurate. I found myself wishing this was over early on in the film. I did not find this engaging at all.

1.5 stars