Well, here it is. The Top 30 worst movies I saw in 2016.
Sometimes a bad movie can be fun. The RiffTrax guys have proven that to us. However, these 30 films have not yet received that RiffTrax treatment (although I could see some of them getting it sooner rather than later.
Before we dive into the list, I should specify a couple of things. One, the star ratings go out the window when compiling a list like this. I keep the star rating as a reference, but just because a film had a higher star rating in my weekly reviews does not preclude it from being higher on the list. In fact, there are a few here that received a reasonable score but wound up here. Lots of reasons… just the way it happens.
Two, this is my list and, because film is subjective, this is what I think about these films. As with anything, you should not be offended by anything I put down here. If you like “Movie 43”, please do not be bothered if I say it was the worst film ever.
And of course, these are only movies that I have seen. Norm of the North and Mother’s Day surely would be here had I seen them, but I avoided them so they cannot be among the list.
Before I list my dishonorable mentions, I need to give a ruling. I went to The Choice earlier this year and it was a terrible movie and certainly could have a spot on this list. However, I left that film early (honestly, the only reason I went in the first place was to kill time until Deadpool started) and since I did not see the ending, I am disqualifying it from this list. I did the same last year for Magic Mike XXL so precedent is on my side.
With that done, here are my dishonorable mentions: My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2, Alice Through the Looking Glass, Neon Demon, The Disappointments Room, Angry Birds, Divergent Series: Allegiant, Morgan, Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates
Top 30 Worst Movies of 2016
#30. The Huntsmen: Winter’s War. Who wanted this sequel? That question might be asked again on this list. Great cast. Horrid film.
#29. Collateral Beauty. This felt like everyone (sans Will Smith) was phoning it their performances. The story was downright mean-spirited and stupid. Will Smith was memorable, but nothing else was.
#28. Keeping Up With the Joneses. This is the first film from Zach Galifianakis on this list, but it will not be the last. This is another film that showed all the funny in the trailer.
#27. Ride Along 2. This one benefited from being released in January because it slipped from my mind. Sequel #2 on this list.
#26. The Light Between Oceans. Yawn. Fassbender and Vikander should have been more interesting than this.
#25. Max Steel. I’m one of about five people who saw this super hero film. There was a good reason for that.
#24. Billy Lynne’s Long Halftime Walk. Ang Lee directed this steaming pile. Just a stupid film with a ridiculous, almost laughable, moments of war heroes attending a football game. Makes me want to watch Ang Lee’s Hulk again.
#23. Criminal. Kevin Costner in the old mind swap type story. The only thing criminal here was that I had to pay to see this.
#22. Bad Santa 2. I did not see Bad Santa 1 so I had no background, but this was a terrible movie with a few minimal laughs. This has never been my type of film so when I did not like Bad Santa 2, no one was surprised. Sequel #3
#21. When the Bough Breaks. Every year these same actors appear in a film like this, a basic rip off of Fatal Attraction. Every year it sucks. These actors deserve better.
#20. Masterminds. Here is Zach Galifianakis again. This movie had been delayed once before. Too bad it didn’t get delayed again. Painfully unfunny.
#19. The Purge: Election Year. Another sequel (#4) on the list. I really think this Purge nonsense has run its course because I am afraid that we will be living the Purge in real life soon with Trump as Prez.
#18. Mechanic: Resurrection. Who wanted this to be resurrected? Sequel #5.
#17. Incarnate. A terrible horror movie starring the Bruce Wayne kid from Gotham. This is actually not his last appearance on this list. Aaron Eckhart tried his best here, but there was only so much he could do.
#16. The 5th Wave. The wave of young adult novels being made into movies hit yet another snag this year with the terrible alien invasion movie, The 5th Wave. When will we realize these YA novels do not translate to the screen?
#15. Neighbors 2. Neighbors 1 was not horrible. But I hated just about everything in Neighbors 2. Sequel #6.
#14. Ben Hur. Why? What reason could anyone have for remaking a classic film such as Ben Hur? And why include Morgan Freeman?
#13. Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie. This one I hated so much, but I have never seen the Absolutely Fabulous TV show from England. I am guessing if you were a fan of that show, you might have liked this movie. I had no interest.
#12. Independence Day: Resurgence. One of the biggest failures of the year. This film (sequel #7, btw) gave us new characters that were completely forgettable and old characters that were either wasted or ruined. This sequel should have been done years ago. The best part was how director Roland Emmerich then came out and bad mouthed super hero films. Huh? Glass houses-stones Roland.
#11. The Darkness. Here is young Bruce Wayne again, playing basically the same character he played in Incarnate. What makes this worse is that this crap pile somehow included Kevin Bacon.
TOP TEN WORST…
#10. Dirty Grandpa. How far the mighty have fallen. I considered strongly giving Robert DeNiro a “Batman and Robin” Award for Worst Actor for this film (it wound up going to Gerard Butler instead). Is this the same guy who was in Ragin’ Bull and Taxi Driver and Godfather II? Zac Efron is on this list several times as well.
#9. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows. I did not like the first TMNT film from this series and this only got worse. Plus it wasted Casey Jones. WWE superstar Sheamus was in this though. Sequel #8
#8. The Other Side of the Door. Dumb dumb dumb. There are so many horror tropes and cliches on display here that you understand why some people hate horror movies.
#7. Assassin’s Creed. The video game movie genre will never catch a break. Even with a great actor as Michael Fassbender (although he is on this list several times), the film cannot escape the black hole of video game nonsense. This one should have been so much better.
#6. Shut In. The worst horror movie of the year falls in at #6 on this list. Ridiculous performances and laughable storylines, Shut In was terrible. What were people thinking?
#5. Gods of Egypt. What a craptacular film. Horrid acting, horrid CGI, horrid story telling. The fact that there are four films worse than this speaks poorly of 2016. Gerard Butler and the series of white actors tried their best (????) but this Egyptian myth mash-up fell so flat.
#4. Zoolander 2. Our final sequel on the list this year is the worst sequel of this year. Why did we need Zoolander 2? It wasn’t funny. It did not break new ground. For some people, it spoiled the original movie. They crammed a ton of cameos into the film because they knew they needed that extra boost. The story and film wouldn’t provide that boost.
#3. Nine Lives. Hey, you know what would be a good idea? Let’s get Kevin Spacey and have him turn into a cat. You know… like The Shaggy Dog, but with a cat. How could that go wrong? Gee, let me count the ways. This was another film that not many people saw but those who did were united in their hatred.
#2. The Brothers Grimsby. I so hated this movie. I hated just about everything about it. I am not sure that I laughed at anything. The stupid story was predictable and dull. Sacha Baron Cohen was way over the top and was almost impossible to root for. Cohen has been trying to recapture the success of Borat, but this is nowhere near that. This would have been the worst film of 2016 had it not been for….
The worst film of the year...
#1. 50 Shades of Black. What has happened to the spoof film genre? Where did films that were actually funny such as Airplane and Naked Gun go? Now, all we get are these unfunny films from Marlon Wayans and his siblings that are worse than the original. I would rather watch 50 Shades of Grey any day over this travesty. This one came out early in 2016, but it held strong for this position. I beg of Hollywood to find someone with a comedic voice that can do spoof movies that we can deserve. Please?
So there they are. The 30 worst movies of 2016 according to EYG. Do you disagree? Did I leave off something or is there something on this list that you loved?
In the end, I had way more good movies than bad in 2016, so that is a good thing. Hopefully that trend will continue into 2017.