Fifty Shades Darker

Image result for fifty shades darker movie poster

At the end of my viewing of Fifty Shades Darker, I heard some girl behind me say, “That was really good.”

I almost choked.

This is so bad.  This is an epic failure of storytelling.  It is laugh out loud funny at times because it is so silly.  This is something that is believable Twilight fan fiction.

The story is severely lacking.  Honestly, nothing really happened.  In the first five-ten minutes of the movie, Anna (Dakota Johnson) tosses aside the ending of the first movie and takes Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan) back.  Right off the bat.  With no consequences from the first film.

That is fine, but there are so many things that happen in this film that have absolutely no consequence for the plot.  Things happen, resolve in the next scene and are completely forgotten later.  None of it means anything.

There are a lot of sex scenes.  There are a lot of nipple shots.  It really is not very sexy.  Most of these sex scenes are dull and shot poorly which is sad when you consider how many sex scenes there were here.  Add in just terrible pop music behind these scenes and you have scenes that might turn on a teenage boy.

The dialogue is horrendous.  I think my middle school students could write better dialogue… well, at least match it.  I found myself laughing at so many of the ridiculous lines spoken by these characters.  None of them sound like a real person.

That’s all I have to say.  This was a terrible movie.  Boring, stupid and laughable.

0.5 star

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