Replicas

Replicas Movie Poster

This poster was way cooler than the movie.

Keanu Reeves stars in this new sci-fi film that had me laughing in all the wrong places and wishing someone would give poor Emjay Anthony a good script like Chef again.

This one was terrible.

Keanu played Will Foster, a scientist trying to transfer the mind of dead people into robots to help extend the lives of humans.  However, this had hit a roadblock and seemed to be at a major point.  So he went on vacation with his family.

Unfortunately for him, Will and his family was in a car crash (which was not caused by the semi nearly hitting them in the rain, but seconds later by a falling tree limb.  Certainly the worst pair of coincidences ever).  The car crash killed everybody but the driver and forced Will into carrying his family’s bodies out of the water that they crashed in.

So, in his grief, as any good scientist would do, he decided (as he held his wife’s soaked body in his arm)… I’ll clone them.

Yup.  Not kidding.

He enlisted his fellow scientist Ed (Thomas Middleditch)  from the company they worked at to help him out.  Together, they “borrow” millions of dollars worth of equipment from out of their employment in a truck to pull this off.  I kind of liked Ed as he was the voice of the audience while Will was the voice of the stupid.

It was such a silly set of circumstances involved and Will did not even bother to try to think things through.  Maybe that was the intention, but it did not work.  If he was on target enough to be able to come up with the plan, he should be smart enough to call the kids’ school and let them know they would be out of school for a while.

Worse yet (Oh SPOILERS right now, if you care)… but they only had three pods for use instead of the four they needed, so Will had to pick one of the kids to not clone.  So he picked the youngest and cutest girl who drew unicorns on his kitchen table.  He would be using his unsuccessful robot memory swap to put the real memories back into his family’s head.  Never mind that these would not be the actual people and are just replacements.  Of course, he had to then edit out the memories of the little girl, name was Zoe (Aria Lyric Leabu), from his family’s memory so they did not question that she was not there.  Perhaps NOBODY ELSE, BESIDES HER BROTHER, SISTER AND MOTHER, IN THE WORLD EVER MET THIS LITTLE GIRL OR KNEW THAT THERE AS SUPPOSED TO BE A THIRD CHILD!  I mean… did Sophie (Emily Alyn Lind) and Matt (Emjay Anthony) not have friends that might remember that they had a little sister?  Was there no one at Mona (Alice Eve) worked think to ask her how her THREE children were doing?  What exactly was the hope that Will had here?  This was just the stupidest part of a really stupid movie.

There was also a sudden villainous turn from a character who had not appeared on screen much and I even wondered if he had sent the semi out to try and kill the family.  He was such a ridiculous, Snidely Whiplash-esque character that he was totally wasted, there simply for a plot point to allow the family to go on the run, (and show the benefits of defibrillators).

The acting was terrible from everyone.  Keanu was channeling his inner Nic Cage in Wicker Man and the rest of the cast (with the exception of Thomas Middleditch) were as bad.  Poor Emjay (who was great in Chef and whom I wanted to play Sam Alexander in the MCU) was reduced to saying the one line “Dad!” throughout the entire movie.

The ending makes zero sense as well and nicely sets up a sequel that we will never see.  This is a perfect movie for the month of January, dumped where it can go away before the good movies come out.

1 star

 

 

 

 

 

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