It is time for the 2019 version of the Batman & Robin Awards for Rotteness, the awards for the worst of the year. So those of you on Twitter who are opposed to the worst of lists had better leave now.
Of course, if I give an award for the worst of something, other may disagree. You have that right. And if I give an award for awfulness, that does not give anyone a right to torment that person in social media or in any other way. These are meant to be as much fun as anything else. Those people who tormented Kelly Marie Tran after the Last Jedi should be ashamed of themselves.
Here we go…
Worst Movie of the Year: *SPOILERS* As always, you have to wait for the Top 30 Worst list.
Worst Actor: John Travolta (The Frantic). This is a movie that is just insane and you cannot believe that it is John Travolta. Of course Joaquin Phoenix thought it was a great performance, so there is that.
Worst Actress: Adeline (Disneynature’s Penguins). That’s right. Worst actress this year goes to an Adélie penguin. I just did not believe her relationship with Steve.
Worst CGI: Cats. Not sure if it is completely done yet. Either way, this is nightmare juice.
Worst Trailer: Cats. The first trailer to Cats shocked and repulsed the Internet for weeks after its release. The first hint of what we were going to get.
Worst Commercial: The M & M Hazelnut “We ate him” spot. Legitimately a terrible idea. Promotion of cannibalism in the M&M universe. This played before a ton of movies this year and I hated it every time.
Worst Sequel: Dark Phoenix. The last FOX X-Men film before the rights reverted to Marvel Studios was the second chance to get the Dark Phoenix Saga right. Unfortunately, it was the second time it flopped.
Worst Superhero Movie: Hellboy. I know I called this science fiction in the Worst sci-fi category, but it is also a superhero movie (sort of). It is bad nonetheless. David Harbour deserved better.
Best Performance in a Bad Movie: (TIE) Ian McKellan & Jennifer Hudson in Cats. McKellan was the only actor who knew what movie he was in and he was a hoot. Seeing him meow was the highlight of the movie for me. Hudson ties him for her amazing and soulful rendition of Memory. If only she did not look as horrible as they made her look.
Most Overrated: Hustlers. This one had Oscar buzz going on at one point. Huh? I mean J-Lo was good, but the film was, at best, average.
Favorite “Rotten” Movie: Godzilla: King of Monsters. At 42% on Rotten Tomatoes, Godzilla was considered rotten, but I enjoyed it a lot. Sure the humans were wastes of time, but Godzilla was there. So was Mothra. And King Ghidorah.
Worst Movie I did not see: A Madea Family Funeral. Did not see it. I’m sure it was bad.
Cashing a Paycheck: (TIE) Patrick Stewart (Charlie’s Angels) and Jessica Chastain (Dark Phoenix). Stewart as Bosley and Chastain as …… whoever she was, were just going through the motions here. Then there was Jennifer Lawrence as Mystique too. She has been cashing the X-Men check since Days of Future Past.
No really, the book was better: The Goldfinch. It would have to be. It did win a Pulitzer Prize.
Worst Reboot/Remake: Hellboy. Again, David Harbour was not the issue. His Hellboy was pretty decent. Everything else though…
Most unintentionally Funny Movie: Cats. I laughed, I gasped in horror. I laughed again.
Movies are Subjective Award: The lady two seats from me in Cats. She was having so much fun in that movie, and it was not the snarky fun I was having. She was wiping tears and waving her hands in front of her face to keep from crying. She had this gigantic cheesy grin plastered across her face the whole time. Her joy at watching this movie that I absolutely thought was atrocious was heart warming. Goes to show that one person’s garbage can be another person’s art.
Most Successful Bad Movie: Lion King (2019). This made a ton of money for Disney and it was a pale and heartless imitation of the iconic animated feature.