Tom & Jerry

We have an early leader for worst movie of the year.

Tom & Jerry, the classic cartoon cat and mouse, debuted this weekend in some open theaters and on HBO Max and jumped to the lead in terribleness. Honestly, I would not feel right even saying the line, “This is a film that kids will like, but parents will not” because the fact of the matter is this… kids should not be exposed to stupidity of this caliber.

There is a plot, sort of, but it revolves around the human characters. Tom & Jerry are cartoon animals living in a real world with humans around. They find themselves in a hotel to cause shenanigans after our heroine Kayla (Chloë Grace Moretz) sabotaged another person’s job interview at the hotel, stole her resume and took the interview herself. Nice message to the little children watching.

There was a great cast in Tom & Jerry reduced to slapstick and a brain damaged script. Not only was there Moretz, but there was Michael Pena, Ken Jeong, Rob Delany (Peter from Deadpool 2), Colin Jost (of SNL fame) and Jordan Bolger. The cast was wasted, and yet seemed to take up a lot of screen time. Perhaps that is because Tom and Jerry do not speak and someone had to carry the narrative.

There was rapping pigeons too. In the first scene of the movie with the rapping pigeons, one of them let off a pigeon poop at the other. I knew what kind of movie this one would be. There was also a scene where poor Michael Pena had to stop to clean up the poop that the dog Spike (Bobby Cannavale, no really) took in the middle of the crosswalk. High brow comedy, for sure.

The poop jokes could be excused if they were actually funny, but they were only cringy. I was looking at the time after only a half hour (which felt like triple that time). This movie was long too. Over a hundred minutes is way longer than this movie had any right to be.

The plot surrounding a wedding of a rich couple was the main driving force of the film, but it made little to no sense and depended upon a bunch of stereotypes. There was no need for it.

Characters bounced around, changing characteristics depending on what the plot required them to have. No one in the film was smart or elevated the film above the words on the page. It was a painful watch, but I was proud of myself for finishing it because, since I was viewing it at home on HBO Max, it would have been very easy to shut it off and turn to something else. Minari is available on Vudu this weekend.

Tom & Jerry is an utter waste. Go watch some of the classic Tom & Jerry shorts instead. They’re much better.

1 star

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