Tag Archives: humor

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #87

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#87

Lame Claim to Fame

Title: “Lame Claim to Fame”

Album: Mandatory Fun

Release: 2014

Written: Al Yankovic

Style Parody: Southern Culture on the Skids

Lyrics

One time I was in the checkout line
Behind Steven Seagal
Once I’m pretty sure Mr. Jonah Hill
Was in the very next bathroom stall
My best friend’s brother
Well, he was an extra in Wayne’s World 2
My neighbour’s baby sitter
Dated three of the guys in Motley Crue
I swear Jack Nicholson
Looked right at me at a Laker’s game

I got a lame
Lame claim to fame

Check it out, I bought a second hand toaster
From a guy who says he knows Brad Pitt
I got me an email from the prince of Nigeria
Well, he sure sounded legit
My sister used to take piano lessons
From the second cousin of Ralph Nader
Last year I threw up in an elevator
Next to Christian Slater
Well guess what, my birthday and Kim Kardashian’s
Are exactly the same

I got a lame
Lame claim to fame
A really lame
Lame claim to fame

Once at a party, my dentist accidentally
Sneezed on Russell Crowe
I posted first in the comments
On a YouTube video
I tried to sit by Steve Buscemi
But he told me this seat’s taken
I know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy
Who know a guy who knows a guy who know Kevin Bacon

I had a car that used to belong
To Cuba Gooding Jr.’s uncle
A friend of mine in high school
Had jury duty with Art Garfunkel
One time I was staying in the same hotel
As Zooey Deschanel
I used the same napkin dispenser
As Steve Carell at a Taco Bell
Well I don’t mean to brag but
Paul Giamatti’s plumber knows me by name

I got a lame
Lame claim to fame
A really lame
Lame claim to fame
I’m talking lame
Lame claim to fame
A really really really lame
Lame claim to fame

Ow, let’s get lame boys

Source: LyricFind

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #94

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#94

Truck Drivin’ Song

Title: “Truck Drivin’ Song”

Written: Al Yankovic

Album: Running With Scissors

Released: 1999

Parody style: Country Music/truck songs

This is one of those secretively funny original songs at the end of the album that don’t get as much attention as some of the bigger parodies or style pastiches. Yet, it is really funny, setting up the image of a big, old truck driver in his dresses and with his makeup.

Lyrics

Lyrics

I’m drivin’ a truck
Drivin’ a big ol’ truck
Pedal to the metal, hope I don’t run out of luck
Rollin’ down the highway until the break of dawn
Drivin’ a truck with my high heels on

My diesel rig is northward bound
It’s time to put that hammer down
Just watchin’ as the miles go flyin’ by
I’m ridin’ twenty tons of steel
But it’s sure hard to hold the wheel
While I’m still waiting for my nails to dry

Oh, I always gotta check my lipstick in that rear view mirror
And my pink angora sweater fits so tight
I’m jammin’ gears and haulin’ freight
Well, I sure hope my seams are straight
Lord, don’t let my mascara run tonight

Because I’m drivin’ a truck
Drivin’ a big ol’ truck
Smokey’s on my tail and my accelerator’s stuck
Got these eighteen wheels a-rollin until the break of dawn
Drivin’ a truck with my high heels on

Oh, I don’t mind when my crotchless panties creep right up on me
And my nipple rings don’t bother me too much
But when I hit those big speed bumps
My darling little rhinestone pumps
Keep slippin’ off the mother-lovin’ clutch

But still I’m drivin’ a truck
Drivin’ a big ol’ truck
Headin’ down the interstate, just tryin’ to make buck
Wearin’ feather boas with sequins and chiffon
While I’m drivin’ a truck with my high heels on

I’m drivin’ a truck
Drivin’ a truck
Got a load to carry and some eyebrows left to pluck
And I’m late for my appointment down at the hair salon
So I’ll be drivin’ a truck with my high heels on

Source: LyricFind

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #96

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#96

Craigslist

Title: Craigslist

Written: Al Yankovic

Released: 2009

Style parody: The Doors

Fact: Doors keyboardist played keyboards on the studio recording of the song.

Album: Alpocalypse

This song was released before the album among a group of songs called Internet Leaks, which included four new videos.

The song is an amazing style parody of The Doors. So much so that you might think it is a stright up parody of a specific song.

Lyrics

Whoa, yeah!

You’ve got a ’65 Chevy Malibu
With automatic drive
A custom paint job, too

I’ll trade you for my old wheelbarrow
And a slightly used sombrero
And I’ll even throw in a stapler, if you insist

Craigslist!
I’m on Craiglist, baby, come on!
Yeah

Well, we shared a quick glance
Saturday at the mall
I never took a chance
Never approached you at all

You were a blonde half-Asian with a bad case of gas
I was wearin’ red Speedos and a hockey mask
Come on, let’s find that love connection that we missed

On Craigslist!
Yeah, Craigslist, come on!
I’m on Craigslist
Oh, baby, maybe you are too!
Be bom ba chomb cadonk bin bam boo!

An open letter to the snotty barista
At the Coffee Bean on San Vacente Boulevard:
I know there were twenty people behind me in line
But I was on a cell phone call with my mother
Didn’t you see me hold up my index finger?
That means, “I’ll order my soy decaf hazelnut latte in just a couple minutes”
So, what’s with the attitude, lady?
No tip for you!

Got a trash can of Styrofoam peanuts
You can have ’em for free
You can drop by on the weekend
And pick ’em up from me
But the trash can ain’t part of the deal
Only givin’ you the peanuts
Get real!
Don’t have no Hefty bag, so bring your own
Don’t bug me with questions on the phone
Don’t ask for help, don’t waste my time
And don’t complain, ’cause they won’t cost you a dime
Just ask yourself:
Do you want my Styrofoam peanuts?
You can have my Styrofoam peanuts
Do you want my Styrofoam peanuts?
You can have them all

They’re on Craigslist, yeah!
Craigslist!
Ow, baby, come on!
I’m on Craigslist, Craigslist, Craigslist!
I’m on Craigslist, Craigslist, Craigslist, now

Craigslist!

Source: Musixmatch

Capturing the Friedmans (2003)

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January 29

With just three days remaining on the Genre-ary for 2025, I watched an Oscar-nominated doc called Catching the Friedmans, another tough watch because it centered around a teacher and his son who had been accused of sodomy and sexual abuse of kids.

Director Andrew Jarecki, who was the director behind the amazing docu-series, The Jinx, was the driving force behind this documentary.

According to IMDB, the “Documentary on the Friedmans, a seemingly typical, upper-middle-class Jewish family whose world is instantly transformed when the father and his youngest son are arrested and charged with shocking and horrible crimes.”

There are plenty of scenes in this movie that came from home video recordings taped by the Friedman family themselves. Most of these scenes were really tough to watch considering the way some of this was portrayed. It painted a horrible picture of most of these people. There was a dramatic scene taped at Jesse Friedman’s trial of a parent chasing after him screaming that he had raped his son. Unbelievable.

Elaine Friedman seemed to be a spiteful woman, but it is hard to imagine the situation she found herself in daily. Her husband was a pedophile. Her sons hated her. A lot of the recordings by her kids had her screaming like a banshee. She did not come off looking well. Then, the final scene of the doc seemed to go against everything that the doc had shown us up until that point.

The doc sheds plenty of question on the case overall, especially when it came to Jesse. Arnold, the father who was an admitted pedophile, said that he had committed sexual abuse on two kids, but not the countless number at school.

I’m not sure how I felt about this doc because the voice seemed to be all over the place. I’m not sure what the doc was telling me about this story and it felt as if details changed throughout. I do not have a better understanding of what the truth was in this case or to what level these people were guilty or innocent. Maybe that is the idea with the doc… that truth may be elusive and that you may never know for sure what is happening in the heart of a family.

The X-Files S6 E9

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Spoilers

“S.R. 819”

After a couple of lesser episodes, “S.R. 819” regained the feel of classic episodes of The X-Files, featuring a conspiracy level event.

The show begins with the apparent death of Walter Skinner, setting up the stakes for the episode.

Flashing back to before the ‘death’, we see the events leading up to the current situation and we learn that someone had poisoned Skinner, injecting him with nanobot tech.

Mulder and Scully raced against time to try and save the life of Skinner.

Of course, Mulder and Scully did not solve anything. They circled the truth, but the events were out of their hands. The final shot, of a now compromised Skinner with Krychek of all people was a kick. Especially after Skinner’s ‘deathbed’ confession to Scully that he regretted not being more of an ally to them.

This was a tough episode, but very enjoyable. It had that early X-Files feel to it and advanced the mythology along nicely.

The Jinx Part Two s2 E5

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Spoilers

“Mostly the Truth”

It’s Bob’s turn to testify.

He had to testify because they had stipulated the fact that Bob had written the cadaver note and Bob had to explain that for the jury. Because he had to explain that fact that he wound up admitted to, Bob was able to be cross-examined by the prosecutor John Lewin.

Lewin planned on showing the jury that Bob was a liar… perhaps even pathological. Lewin picked his testimony apart. Bob had told a story of how he would play Uno and throw the frisbee with his mom, brother and father. Lewin pointed out that Uno was created in 1971 and frisbees were created in 1958 and Bob’s mom died in 1950. This showed clearly that those ‘memories’ were not true.

Nine days of cross-examination. Whoa.

Lewin got Bob to admit that he had lied about some things during his testimony and that if he had killed Susan, he would lie about it.

Those words are shocking.

The trial started really strong for Bob and it took a major downswing.

When they played the “Killed them all, of course” clip from the first Jinx show, it was an amazing moment. Bob said that he had said that he muttered the words “They will all think that I” ahead of those five words. However, they did not let that stand.

Another amazing moment was when Bob, who was saying things that he would lie about, said that he would lie about where Kathie was buried. The prosecutor jumped on that phrasing immediately and it sounded terrible.

The verdict came in: Guilty. Durst was not there at the time because he had been exposed to Covid.

Shockingly, since Bob was not there, someone had to tell him that he had been convicted. But none of his own lawyers did it. They left town imediately.

It was Bob’s current wife, Debbie’s lawyer who told him.

And that feels like the next piece of the story.