The injury bug strikes the strikers for Ted Lasso’s new Richmond Women’s team. Well, one is an injury and one is a pregnancy, so I shouldn’t qualify it as an injury. But the strikers are out, so this leads to an open tryout.
The open tryout did not bring the football version of Susan Boyle. There is an option though and it was one that Coach Alice mentioned. She once coached a striker that was one of the best she’d seen, but who had quit to go to law school. Her name was Gemma and she had had enough of Alice’s demeanor toward her back then and did not want to hear anything from her now.
Gemma couldn’t deny the Lasso charm though, and it seemed as if Ted had reignited the passion for the sport inside her, and she came to join the team. Of course, she came on the day of the historic first game. She also wound up scoring a late goal after being inserted into the game near the end.
This was not only Gemma’s story though as Keeley was having a hard time getting the kit delivered for the first game, a young mother Lizzie was one who stood out at the open tryouts and was able to make the team, and Rebecca kept standing up her boyfriend at a restaurant.
I do like the new cast of the football team that we are starting to get. There are some intriguing characters that are more than just the one note that it appeared they were previously.
It was nice to see the much more presentable Coach Beard this week, no longer looking like a caveman in a Richmond outift.
This has been a decent season so far, even if I do not think it has matched the original three seasons in overall quality as of yet.
I am now caught up on the Rick and Morty series, finishing up with the episode 10 that debuted on HBO Max today, but had been shown on Comedy Central earlier in the summer.
The new episode started off as an enjoyable story of Morty going through the multiverse and attending other Morty’s funeral. Morty is discovered as he was watching the funeral by a family that was grieving “Mort,” the kid who was so much more successful and loved by his family.
Morty started spending time with this family, thinking that they were better than the family he had. Morty found out that this Smith family was extremely crazed and chasing after him to replace their Mort.
Morty went to this universe’s Rick, who had stopped drinking, had gotten married, and was living a happy life as a college professor. This was when the episode took a darker turn that I was not a real fan of.
As Rick was trying to help find a way to get Morty home, I knew what was going to happen. I knew that Rick was going to need to go back to drinking to get the work done. Watching Rick throw away his life, his sobriety, his wife to the bottle was so sad and too predictable. I wanted this Rick to not transform into yet another drunken Rick.
Of course the ending was anything but predictable as the whole family is butchered in their final confrontation. This allowed Morty to get back to his regular universe with a happier feeling toward these people.
The whole motorcycle scene at the end of the episode was odd.
Overall, this was an up and down episode for me, and with different shades of dark, it did not do well for me.
There is a season 10 in works right now with a rumored release during the summer of 2027.
I started the ninth season of Rick and Morty on HBO Max today and watched the first eight episodes. I discovered that the Rick and Morty show was shown originally on Adult Swim earlier this summer and then it debuted on HBO Max, releasing every episode weekly. I was confused at first as I saw episode 9 and 10 listed on Wikipedia as having been released already, but it was not available yet on HBO Max. I see that the last two episodes will be released over the next two Mondays, so we will finish as we go.
The last few seasons of Rick and Morty have been lesser than I was used to. They weren’t bad, but there were more episodes that I did not love as much as some of the earlier seasons.
However, I thought that the season nine episodes were just awesome.
The first episode kicked off with the return of Evil Morty, and Morty discovered that Rick was running adventures with Evil Morty. Rick was able to trick Evil Morty into destroying the Omega blueprints in all universes. It set off a war between them and Evil Morty gets arrested by the time police after he tried to time travel.
In “Ricks Days, Seven Nights” Rick went on vacation in a dimension and he wiped his own memory. He does it every year and goes to a planet under the name Ted. Ted decides to stay, and he has to fight against himself trying to get Ted to remember. This was so clever and creative… I loved it.
“Rick Fu Hustle” is next up and while Rick and Morty are trying to keep themselves from having their hearts exploded from a Kung Fu master’s special punch, Jerry is having sex with his robot pool cleaner. Not kidding.
The season seems to have a running storyline where Rick is trying to stop drinking after he has had several bad events, including locking himself out of the lab in the garage. He also lost his always filled flask of vodka from a world of pigs. There was another incident where Rick’s head is decapitated from his body, and the two parts of Rick get into a war with the other. While Rick’s head was separated, he saw how good he felt without the alcohol. Morty had the head and Summer had the body and they tried to reunite.
My least favorite of this season was “MortGully: The Last Rickforest” which saw Rick and Morty on a planet trying to find some special sap from a tree. The tree was alive and called the Warden, who sentenced Rick and Morty to be single celled organisms. The episode was the two of them trying to evolve enough to escape the Warden’s trap. It was funny, but it really went a long way for the joke, which was replayed multiple times.
There was also a wild story with Jerry consuming a bunch of space worms which made him more confident, but caused him to eventually vomit up a massive amount of worms.
I have liked this season more than the previous couple, but there does not seem to be much of a thorough line for the overall story arc. That is not necessarily a bad thing, but I would like a little more connection.
The final issue of the first book of Liam Sharp’s mini-series, Starhenge brings us the fate of Arthur, what happened to Merlin, and where Taliesin, Amber Weaver, and Daryl wind up.
As Book One ended with a distinct cliffhanger, I am happy that I am ready to move into Book Two, number one of which I have already purchased from Image Comics. A Kiss for Atticus is the subtitle for the four issue limited series. I had picked up the first issue before knowing anything about the series and I am very pleased that I did so, because otherwise, I would not have gone back to read Book One.
Once again, the book played with the format of comics, as we get another heavily narrative story of King Arthur and how he was killed by Gwynn. Merlin fleeing into the woods, transforming into an Elk as he lost him mind.
The discovery at the end of the book that Merlin was still alive and how he was discovered by Amber and Daryl… and having Merlin call Amber “Grandma” was a shock.
I loved the section of Amber’s narration where she was describing how her “…comic would piss people off.” It was such a meta moment and then she took it even further with the lines, “It would be a convoluted mess of info dumps, footnotes, and sidebars, drawn in random artsy styles, and designed to confuse even the most ardent Morrison fan” is an amazing understanding of the comic that Sharp was creating. Amber’s narration has been an absolute highlight of this book for me.
There is a lot of set up through the Book One, but it never felt like it was only world building. It felt as if the characterization was there and this creates a mood that will only expand as the next Book is released. I feel better knowing that there is a Book Two starting. Had I read this back in the released date of the original series, I am sure I would wonder if I was ever going to get more.
More there is…
Excellent work from Liam Sharp and I look forward to jumping back into this world ASAP.
It starts off with Amber facing off with a death robot from the future and, suddenly, Daryl turned into something else as well.
One of the most creative ways this comic has been different than most is the manner in which it presents its material. In this case, the confrontation with Daryl and this death robot is shown in standard comic format, and in the narrative, Amber, who has been out narrator from the beginning, states that she had drawn this confrontation – in order to process her thoughts.
This section of the book was such a departure from the art style, reminding me of the style from issue two. However, this felt more weighty that that did. Part of that is the full page panels that this book was pulling out during this section of the narrative. It felt more important.
Then, it went back to cover more details of Merlin’s life, saying that this needed to be covered or you (meaning the reader) would be confused (she actually said that this would not make any f-ing sense).
The Merlin section in the 5th Century dealt with the Uther Pendragon legend and how Amber stated it actually went down, specifically what led to the birth of Arthur. This section was back to the painting style of the book and included a dense amount of narration. However, this narration is done in such a style that it was easy to follow and entertaining to read.
And it ended up back with Amber, laying naked, and meeting back up with Daryl and she ended the book with the statement that it was not 2022 anymore and asking the question, “Oh God, Daryl, what did I do?”
The Agents of Shield completed their final mission together and I wrapped up the rewatch of the Marvel show this afternoon. Agents of Shield was my favorite TV show for quite a few years after LOST left the air and I was always mad that they were so disrespected among the MCU. Agents of Shield was a consistently entertaining and exciting hour of TV with some of the best characters you would find.
The whole timeline mess was handled very smoothly with the use of the Quantum Realm to travel between the timelines. Fitz’s return to the show in episode 12 was amazing and gave us that one thing that was missing in this season, which was otherwise near perfect.
The Daisy and Sousa relationship developed beautifully and made sense for both characters. Coulson’s LMD questions about himself led to his own path at the end. May becoming one with her own empathy, and then making that be the weapon that brings the conflict with the Chronicoms to a close, was a great arc for this character and she still gets to deliver the bad ass line, “The Calvary” in response to Sibyl’s question, “What comes next?” May crashing in through a glass ceiling was epic.
It was great that the finale was able to see all of the team working together to accomplish their plan.
I do love that the team ended up, supposedly, in the timeline of the 616 universe. They all could be brought back to the MCU if they wanted. Quake, Yo Yo, Coulson, May all could have roles in a new MCU.
It was also nice to see that the show did not just forget Piper and Flint. In fact, they placed them in an important moment in the finale.
The whole time travel element of this show was done extremely well, and Fitz explained it perfectly. The TVA’s absence was a thing (of course, the TVA does not get introduced until many years later), but one could imaging that time is at any point.
Bringing Kora to Daisy, as sisters, did not seem like it was going to work out, but, in the end, she was a nice addition to the team. Deke finally wound up with the respect that he deserved and, apparently, the new director of Shield in the timeline where he stayed to save the others.
I had forgotten about Fitz and Simmons little daughter and it was a fun surprise when we were introduced to the daughter, Alya.
The use of a young John Garrett was clever too, and the bullet to his head immediately after teleporting the team out of the Lighthouse was both funny and appropriate. James Paxton did an excellent job playing this unhinged version of John Garrett, who was originally played during season one & two by his father, Bill Paxton.
Watching Coulson fly away in Lola at the end of the final episode was both thrilling and perfectly designed as a conclusion.
This was such a fabulous series that does not get the appreciation that it deserved. The chemistry among the stars was one of the key components of the success and why this show worked. In seven seasons, the show went against Hydra, went to another planet, into the future, into the past, prevented an alien invasion, went into a fake world, met up with Asgardians, a Ghost Rider, and a bunch of Kree. Agents of Shield is one of my favorite shows of all time.
“The Totally Excellent Adventures of Mack and The D”
This continues to be my favorite season so far, and the show has been taking some gigantic swings.
How about a whole black and white, noir episode? Coulson with the monologue over the scenes (which is an internal monologue), the cool mystery and the saving of Sousa, sort of.
Daniel Sousa was supposed to die in 1955 after he delivered an object to Howard Stark. Coulson said that he was a hero and that he was taught in SHIELD history. The team decided to save Sousa, fake his death (by using Coulson) and bring him with them in the Zephyr.
All in black and white.
Turned out, the black and white came from a malfunction of the Coulson LMD.
The next episode was into the 1970s and the show had a seventies style opening theme, with voice over introducing the cast.
It was clear that the writers had a freedom to come up with remarkable situations over the time stream and that they were having a hoot. There is drama, comedic moments and some great action.
Mack goes through a lot as his parents are killed and replaced by Chronicoms. He gets left behind with Deke in 1982. He spends a year mourning in isolation as Deke tries unsuccessfully to help him. Deke created a cover band…as a cover. The Deke Squad was his covert Shield group filled with weirdos and losers. Deke shows some real character development during these episodes and Jeff Ward is just remarkably funny. His dialogue is some of the series’ best.
Coulson destroyed his body in an explosion that killed the Chronicoms. Coulson wound up a Max Headroom-type character in 1983 with Deke.
Sousa and Daisy are growing closer as Daisy was getting tortured and experimented on by Nathanial Malick, who wanted Daisy’s powers transferred to him. He was able to do it, but he could not handle the new power.
It was awesome to have General Rick Stoner, played by Patrick Warburton, in his real body in the 1970s. Warburton played Stoner as a hologram when the Lighthouse closed up a few seasons ago. That hologram was based on a past Shield executive, and now we got to meet him.
Again though, Shield and the Chronicoms were playing havoc with the Sacred Timeline and I wonder what the TVA was doing.
The shorter season six finished off with some awesome action and a bunch of subverting of expectations.
The main expectation that is subverted is something that they teased throughout the season. The fact that Sarge was created as part of Coulson made everyone think that he would turn out to be saved by the team and we would get Coulson back yet again.
However, he turned out to be the villain after all.
I talked about Deke’s hero moment in the last block of episodes, and he has one here as well. He does disappoint his grandparents (Fitz & Simmons) with some of his motives, or at least they way the way they saw it. I loved how Mack appreciated him, he thanked Agent Shaw, for the sort of rescue. Deke is a great character with a lot of contradiction within him. He is one to show silliness on the outside, only to hide the pain inside.
The end episode sets up season 7 big time, including the time travel aspect, the Hunters chasing them, and LMD Coulson. It was an intriguing choice to do it this way and not just use Sarge, which would have been an easy choice. I like how they kept the character of Sarge in the manner in which he was.
Thinking back, whatever happened to Flint? They created him with the Monoliths and then had Piper take him to get help for his broken leg, but we never see him again and they head back into the past right away. We also never see them rescue Benson from the pod that he was dropped in. I do not recall if these are threads that are picked up again in season seven or if these are just dangling threads never to be considered again.
I do think this was a strong season, but the final few episodes felt a little messy. There were still solid results from them and I love the set up for season 7.
Rick & Morty continue along in their first season, showing how different it is than any other animated show. The humor is hilarious, even if it could tend towards sophomoric humor at times.
Rick sends Morty inside a body of an old man, dressed as Santa, to an amusement park he had constructed inside. This episode was a lot of fun, especially with the all-star cast of voice actors including John Oliver, Dana Carvey, Kari Wahlgren and Gary Anthony Williams.
This is a parody of both Jurassic Park and Fantastic Voyage.
Another example of Rick getting Morty into trouble comes in the next episode as he is inside a simulation as aliens are attempting to steal Rick’s recipe for the Concentrated Dark Matter. The girl with Morty tells him that he can put his fingers anywhere he wants as they makeout.
In the fifth episode, it is Morty’s turn to plan the adventure. This is an example of how the show pushes limits as Morty comes across a humanoid Jellybean in the restroom at a pub and the Jellybean attempts to rape Morty. Rick later murders Jellybean, who was revealed as the King of the village Rick and Morty were working for.
Meanwhile, Morty’s parents were using an invention of Rick’s called the Meeseeks Box. Meeseeks would po into existence and help you with a problems, only to then pop out of existence. However, taking two strokes off Jerry’s golf game. Finding it impossible, more Meeseeks are summoned until they go wild with their failure to improve the golf game, trying to murder Jerry.
Again, this is not your child’s animated show. The adult themes and jokes are all over the place, but they make Rick & Morty very funny to watch.
And so, we have reached #1 on the Top 100 Weird Al Songs, and it is Yoda. Yoda was played on the Doctor Demento Show for years prior to being released on Dare to Be Stupid because of the troubles Al had in securing the permission he always looked for from the label of the Kinks. According to Wikipedia, Al had a chance meeting with “Lola” writer, Ray Davies, and he asked him why he refused to approve the parody. Davies said that no one had asked him, which finally led to Yoda being released on Al’s third album.
I loved this song so much as a youngster. In my Speech class in high school, we were assigned to do a lip synch, and I chose to do Yoda. I received a perfect score from Mrs. Tilton (RIP).
Lyrics
I met him in a swamp down in Dagobah Where it bubbles all the time like a giant carbonated soda S O D A, soda
I saw the little runt sitting there on a log I asked him his name and in a raspy voice he said “Yoda” Y O D A, Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda
Well, I’ve been around, but I ain’t never seen A guy who looks like a muppet, but he’s wrinkled and green Oh, my Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda
Well, I’m not dumb, but I can’t understand How he can lift me in the air just by raising his hand Oh, my Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda
Well, I left home just a week before And I’ve never ever been a Jedi before But Obi Wan, he set me straight, of course He said, “Go to Yoda and he’ll show you the Force”
Well I’m not the kind that would argue with Ben So it looks like I’m gonna start all over again With my Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda
So I used the Force I picked up a box I lifted some rocks While I stood on my head Well, I won’t forget what Yoda said
He said, “Luke, stay away from the darker side And if you start to go astray, let the Force be your guide” Oh, my Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda
“I know Darth Vader’s really got you annoyed But remember, if you kill him, then you’ll be unemployed” Oh, my Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda
Well, I heard my friends really got in a mess So I’m gonna have to leave Yoda I guess But I know that I’ll be coming back some day I’ll be playing this part ’till I’m old and gray
The long-term contract I had to sign Says I’ll be making these movies till the end of time With my Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda
In concert, Weird Al has done something special in the middle of the song. Dubbed the “Yoda Chant”, Al and his band slow down the music and begin a rhymical, a cappella chant that included a series of both mnemonic devices and bits from songs. Some of the pieces included in the Yoda Chant was “Frère Jacques,” “The Lion Sleeps Tonight,” “Surfin’ Bird,” the “Hawaiian War Chant,” the “Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oi Oi Oi,” and “Grim Grinning Ghosts” among others.
Written: Hakeem T. Seriki / Anthony Henderson / Oscar Edward Salinas / Juan Carlos Jr. Salinas/Al Yankovic
Style: Rap/Hip Hop
Topic: Nerd culture
Fact: This was Yankovic’s first-ever top 10 hit on the Billboard Hot 100 and his first single to be certified platinum.
We are down to two. I loved this song so much. I had never heard the original, and the parody is one of the greatest of all time.
Lyrics
They see me mowin’ My front lawn I know they’re all thinking I’m so white ‘n’ nerdy Think I’m just too white ‘n’ nerdy Think I’m just too white ‘n’ nerdy Can’t you see I’m white ‘n’ nerdy? Look at me, I’m white ‘n’ nerdy!
I wanna roll with The gangsters But so far they all think I’m too white ‘n’ nerdy Think I’m just too white ‘n’ nerdy Think I’m just too white ‘n’ nerdy I’m just too white ‘n’ nerdy Really, really white ‘n’ nerdy
First in my class here at M.I.T Got skills, I’m a champion at D&D MC Escher, that’s my favorite MC Keep your 40, I’ll just have an Earl Grey tea My rims never spin to the contrary You’ll find that they’re quite stationary All of my action figures are cherry Stephen Hawking’s in my library
My-MySpace page is all totally pimped out I got people begging for my topic spaces Yo, I know Pi out to a thousand places Ain’t got no grills but I still wear braces I order all of my sandwiches with mayonnaise I’m a whiz at Minesweeper, I can play for days Once you see my sweet moves you’re gonna stay amazed My fingers movin’ so fast I’ll set the place ablaze
There’s no killer app I haven’t run At Pascal well I’m number one Do vector calculus just for fun I ain’t got a gat but I gotta soldering gun Happy Days is my favorite theme song I can sure kick your butt in a game of ping pong I’ll ace any trivia quiz you bring on I’m fluent in JavaScript as well as Klingon
They see me roll on my Segway I know in my heart they think I’m White ‘n’ nerdy Think I’m just too white ‘n’ nerdy Think I’m just too white ‘n’ nerdy Can’t you see I’m white ‘n’ nerdy? Look at me, I’m white ‘n’ nerdy!
I’d like to roll with The gangsters Although it’s apparent I’m too White n’ nerdy Think I’m just too white ‘n’ nerdy Think I’m just too white ‘n’ nerdy I’m just too white ‘n’ nerdy How’d I get so white ‘n’ nerdy?
I’ve been browsing, inspectin’ X-Men comics you know I collect ’em The pens in my pocket, I must protect ’em My ergonomic keyboard never leaves me bored Shopping online for deals on some writable media I edit Wikipedia I memorized the Holy Grail really well I can recite it right now and have you “ROTFLOL”
I got a business doing websites When my friends need some code who do they call? I do HTML for them all Even made a homepage for my dog Yo, I got myself a fanny pack They were having a sale down at the GAP Spend my nights with a roll of bubble wrap Pop pop! Hope no one sees me get freaky!
I’m nerdy in the extreme And whiter than sour cream I was in AV club and Glee club And even the chess team! Only question I ever thought was hard Was do I like Kirk or do I like Picard? I spend every weekend at the Renaissance Faire I got my name on my underwear!
They see me strollin’ They laughin’ And rollin’ their eyes ’cause I’m so white ‘n’ nerdy Just because I’m white ‘n’ nerdy Just because I’m white ‘n’ nerdy All because I’m white ‘n’ nerdy Holy cow, I’m white ‘n’ nerdy!
I wanna bowl with The gangsters But oh well it’s obvious I’m White ‘n’ nerdy Think I’m just too white ‘n’ nerdy Think I’m just too white ‘n’ nerdy I’m just too white ‘n’ nerdy Look at me, I’m white ‘n’ nerdy!
Style parody: A doo-wop parody of artists like Elvis Presley and The Platters.
Style: Doo-Wop
This is the highest rated original song on this list. One More Minute is one of the greatest break up songs of all time.
Lyrics
Well I heard that you’re leavin’ Gonna leave me far behind ‘Cause you found a brand new lover You decided that I’m not your kind
So I pulled your name out of my Rolodex And I tore all your pictures in two And I burned down the malt shop where we used to go Just because it reminds me of you
That’s right, you ain’t gonna see me cryin’ I’m glad that you found somebody new ‘Cause I’d rather spend eternity eating shards of broken glass Than spend one more minute with you
I guess I might seem kinda bitter You got me feelin’ down in the dumps ‘Cause I’m stranded all alone in the gas station of love And I have to use the self service pumps
Oh, so honey, let me help you with that suitcase You ain’t gonna break my heart in two ‘Cause I’d rather get a hundred thousand paper cuts on my face Than spend one more minute with you
I’d rather rip out my intestines with a fork Than watch you going out with other men I’d rather slam my fingers in a door
Again and again and again and again and again Oh, can’t you see what I’m tryin’ to say, darlin’
I’d rather have my blood sucked out by leeches Shove an icepick under a toenail or two I’d rather clean all the bathrooms In Grand Central Station with my tongue Than spend one more minute with you
Yes, I’d rather jump naked on a huge pile of thumbtacks Or stick my nostrils together with crazy glue I’d rather dive into a swimming pool filled With double edged razor blades Than spend one more minute with you
I’d rather rip my heart right out of my ribcage With my bare hands and then throw it on the floor And stomp on it ’till I die
Written: Douglas B. Rasheed / Stevie Wonder / Larry James Sanders / Artis L. Jr. Ivey/Al Yankovic
Style: Rap/Hip-Hop
Top: Amish life
Lyrics
As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain I take a look at my wife and realize she’s very plain But that’s just perfect for an Amish like me You know, I shun fancy things like electricity At 4:30 in the morning, I’m milkin’ cows Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I’ve been milkin’ and plowin’ so long that Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone I’m a man of the land, I’m into discipline Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine Then tonight, we’re gonna party like it’s 1699
We been spending most our lives Livin’ in an Amish paradise I churned butter once or twice Livin’ in an Amish paradise It’s hard work and sacrifice Livin’ in an Amish paradise We sell quilts at discount price Livin’ in an Amish paradise
A local boy kicked me in the butt last week I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek I really don’t care, in fact I wish him well ‘Cause I’ll be laughing my head off when he’s burning in Hell But I ain’t never punched a tourist even if he deserved it An Amish with a ‘tude? You know that’s unheard of
I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool If you come to visit, you’ll be bored to tears We haven’t even paid the phone bill in 300 years But we ain’t really quaint, so please don’t point and stare We’re just technologically impaired
There’s no phone, no lights, no motorcar Not a single luxury Like Robinson Crusoe It’s as primitive as can be
We been spending most our lives Livin’ in an Amish paradise We’re just plain and simple guys Livin’ in an Amish paradise There’s no time for sin and vice Livin’ in an Amish paradise We don’t fight, we all play nice Livin’ in an Amish paradise
Hitchin’ up the buggy, churnin’ lots of butter Raised a barn on Monday, soon I’ll raise another Think you’re really righteous? Think you’re pure in heart? Well, I know I’m a million times as humble as thou art I’m the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like On my knees day and night, scorin’ points for the afterlife So don’t be vain and don’t be whiny Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your Heine
We been spending most our lives Livin’ in an Amish paradise We’re all crazy Mennonites Livin’ in an Amish paradise There’s no cops or traffic lights Livin’ in an Amish paradise But you’d probably think it bites Livin’ in an Amish paradise
Written: Clifford Harris / Jr. / Pharrell Williams / Robin Thicke/Al Yankovic
Genre: Rap/Disco/R&B
Topic: Your bad grammar (NOT YOU’RE BAD GRAMMAR!)
I have shown this to my 7th grade literacy class since the release in 2014. It has all kinds of my personal gripes over grammar and the people who just do not know how important grammar is.
If you can’t write in the proper way If you don’t know how to conjugate Maybe you flunked that class And maybe now you find That people mock you online
Okay, now here’s the deal I’ll try to educate ya Gonna familiarize You with the nomenclature You’ll learn the definitions Of nouns and prepositions Literacy’s your mission And that’s why I think it’s a
Good time To learn some grammar Now, did I stammer Work on that grammar You should know when It’s “less” or it’s “fewer” Like people who were Never raised in a sewer
I hate these word crimes Like I could care less That means you do care At least a little Don’t be a moron You’d better slow down And use the right pronoun Show the world you’re no clown Everybody wise up!
Say you got an “I”, “T” Followed by apostrophe, “s” Now what does that mean? You would not use “it’s” in this case As a possessive It’s a contraction What’s a contraction? Well, it’s the shortening of a word, or a group of words By the omission of a sound or letter
Okay, now here’s some notes Syntax you’re always mangling No “x” in “espresso” Your participle’s danglin’ But I don’t want your drama If you really wanna Leave out that Oxford comma Just keep in mind
That “be”, “see”, “are”, “you” Are words, not letters Get it together Use your spellchecker You should never Write words using numbers Unless you’re seven Or your name is Prince
I hate these word crimes You really need a Full time proofreader You dumb mouth-breather Well, you should hire Some cunning linguist To help you distinguish What is proper English
One thing I ask of you Time to learn your homophones is past due Learn to diagram a sentence too Always say “to whom” Don’t ever say “to who” And listen up when I tell you this I hope you never use quotation marks for emphasis You finished second grade I hope you can tell If you’re doing good or doing well About better figure out the difference Irony is not coincidence And I thought that you’d gotten it through your skull What’s figurative and what’s literal Oh but, just now, you said You literally couldn’t get out of bed That really makes me want to literally Smack a crowbar upside your stupid head
I read your e-mail It’s quite apparent Your grammar’s errant You’re incoherent Saw your blog post It’s really fantastic That was sarcastic (Oh, psych!) ‘Cause you write like a spastic
I hate these Word Crimes Your prose is dopey Think you should only Write in emoji Oh, you’re a lost cause Go back to pre-school Get out of the gene pool Try your best to not drool
Never mind I give up Really now I give up Hey, hey, hey Hey, hey, hey Go away!
Included in: Lin-Manuel Miranda’s monthly “#Hamildrops” project
Written by Albert Johnson / Osten Harvey / Christopher Wallace / Roger Troutman / Kejuan Muchita / Lin-Manuel Miranda/Al Yankovic
Songs: “Alexander Hamilton,” “Wait For It,” “The Schuyler Sisters,” “Yorktown (The World Turned Upside Down),” “Dear Theodosia,” “You’ll Be Back,” “The Room Where It Happens,” “Right Hand Man,” “Guns and Ships,” “Washington on Your Side,” “Helpless,” “Non-Stop,” “History Has Its Eyes on You,” and “My Shot.”
This is Weird Al’s Polka Opus, taking the Broadway sensation Hamilton and turning it into a polka. There was a video of Lin-Manuel Miranda listening to The Hamilton Polka for the first time, and he had tears of joy running down his face. Miranda is a huge fan of Weird Al and you could tell how honored he was with Al using his work as a polka.
Lyrics
How does a bastard, orphan, son of a whore and a Scotsman, dropped in the middle of a forgotten Spot in the Caribbean by providence, impoverished, in squalor Grow up to be a hero and a scholar?
The ten-dollar Founding Father without a father Got a lot farther by working a lot harder By being a lot smarter By being a self-starter
By fourteen, they placed him in charge of the trading charter Alexander Hamilton My name is Alexander Hamilton And there’s a million things I haven’t done
But just you wait, just you wait Wait for it Wait for it Wait for it Wait for it
I am the one thing in life I can control Wait for it Wait for it Wait for it Wait for it
I am inimitable I am an original And if there’s a reason I’m still alive When so many have died Then I’m willin’ to—
I’m willing to Work, work! Angelica! Work, work!
Eliza! And Peggy—
Look around, at how lucky we are to be alive right now! History is happening in Manhattan and we just happen to be In the greatest city In the greatest city in the world! The world turned upside down The world turned upside down The world turned upside down The world turned upside down
Yeah you’ll blow us all away Oceans rise, empires fall We have seen each other through it all And when push comes to shove
I will send a fully armed battalion to remind you of my love! Da da da dat da dat da da da da ya da Da da dat dat da da ya da!
No one else was in The room where it happened The room where it happened The room where it happened No one else was in
The room where it happened The room where it happened The room where it happened No one really knows how the game is played
The art of the trade How the sausage gets made We just assume that it happens But no one else is in the room where it happens
We are outgunned (What?) Outmanned (What?) Outnumbered Outplanned
We gotta make an all out stand Ayo, I’m gonna need a right-hand man Hamilton! Sir, he knows what to do in a trench Ingenuitive and fluent in French, I mean—
Hamilton! Sir, you’re gonna have to use him eventually What’s he gonna do on the bench? I mean— Hamilton! No one has more resilience Or matches my practical tactical brilliance—
Hamilton! You wanna fight for your land back? Hamilton! I need my right hand man back! Uh, get ya right hand man back
You know you gotta get ya right hand man back I mean you gotta put some thought Into the letter but the sooner the better To get your right hand man back!
It must be nice, it must be nice To have Washington on your side It must be nice, it must be nice To have Washington on your side Look back at the Bill of Rights (Which I wrote!)
The ink hasn’t dried It must be nice, it must be nice To have Washington on your side— Somebody has to stand up for the South! Somebody has to stand up to his mouth!
If there’s a fire you’re trying to douse You can’t put it out from inside the house I’m in the cabinet, I am complicit in Watching him grabbin’ at power and kiss it If Washington isn’t gon’ listen To disciplined dissidents, this is the difference: This kid is out
In New York you can be a new man How do you write like you’re running out of time? Write day and night like you’re running out of time? Ev’ry day you fight like you’re running out of time Like you’re running out of time
Are you running out of time? Let me tell you what I wish I’d known When I was young and dreamed of glory You have no control Who lives, who dies, who tells your story I know that we can win I know that greatness lies in you But remember from here on in History has its eyes on you (Whoa…)
And I am not throwing away my shot I am not throwing away my shot Hey yo, I’m just like my country I’m young, scrappy and hungry And I’m not throwing away my shot We gonna rise up, time to take a shot (Not throwing away my shot) We gonna rise up, time to take a shot (Not throwing away my shot) We’re gonna rise up, rise up! (It’s time to take a shot!) Rise up, rise up! And I am not throwing away my Not throwing away my shot There’s a million things I haven’t done But just you wait (Just wait) What’s your name, man? Alexander (Hamilton) Alexander (Hamilton) Alexander (Hamilton) Alexander
EYG- Embrace Your Geekness 