Early Man

I saw the previews for this animated movie and I thought it looked terrible.  Then, I saw that it was at 81% on the Tomatometer and I thought that maybe this was going to be a great surprise, the way Ferdinand was last year.

Nope, hated it.

Within the first five minutes of this film, I was checked out, wishing that I had not bought this ticket.

I will say that I do like the claymation animation style that the film uses, so it is not the animation that I disliked.  That was fine.

This was such a stupid, predictable and dull tale of cavemen who survive the meteorite that killed the dinosaurs and these cavemen took up residence in the cavern remaining form the impact.  And they started playing football (aka to we Americans “soccer”) with the actual meteorite.  Yup, I did not mistype that.  They started playing football with the still hot meteorite.

As the years passed, the cavemen continued to live in their isolation in the “valley” and the world started to advance around it, arriving in the Bronze Age.  Men from the Bronze Age attacked and took over the cavemen’s valley and chased them away.

Led by weird little Dug (Eddie Redmayne). the cavemen wind up playing a game of football against the Bronze Age people (who, by the way, are experts in football) for the right to the valley.

Wanna guess who won?  No spoilers here, but I bet you can guess…

There were so many stupid puns and poor writing that these characters were nothing more than one dimensional creations.  I don’t know how many times I completed the sentence during the film and was absolutely right.

I fought with myself to keep me in the theater.  I was very close to leaving the theater several times.  I did get a short little nap in during the film which was the best part of the movie.

There is a great voice cast here including Redmayne, Tom Hiddleston, Maisie Williams, and Richard Ayoade.  That’s about all I can say.

I hated this film.

0.5 stars

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