Sarah’s Journey

“Beep, beep, beep.” I woke up from my alarm clock on July 28th. It was my 15th birthday. I am so happy to finally be 15! Even though every bone in my body was excited for my birthday, I was also full of hope that my birthday wish would come true. Every year for my birthday, I have wished to go to the big city of New York. I have never been anywhere besides my small  hometown of Sippera, Nebraska. My family and I have never been able to travel due to my Dads condition Multiple sclerosis. It is really hard for my mom to get my dad around places, especially with my 6 siblings. I just really hope my dream comes true. 

I spent the whole morning hanging out with my family. “Happy birthday Olivia!” Screamed my best friend Sarah. She was so excited to spend the day with me. Later that night, it was finally time to have a birthday cake. As my dad lit the candles, everyone sang happy birthday to me. It made me feel so special considering I normally don’t get any attention with having so many younger siblings who need my parents attention more than me. I blew out my candles and made my wish. After everyone was done eating cake Sarah and I went to the shed to work on our huge painting of New york city.

My passion was art. I love to draw and paint. Sarah loves art also and wants to get out of this town too. However she wasn’t as passionate about it as me. She is an only child and everyone loves her. Some days I think my parents like her more than they like me. She was what people consider “the golden child.” I got used to it though. One of the things that has helped me get by, is my grandma. Her and I are really close and it feels like she is the only one who understands me. That night we finally finished our painting that took 2 months. My grandma called me that night and we talked for an hour. I went to sleep after that with a smile on my face. 

I woke up the next morning from Sarah calling my phone. “I have huge news! I am coming to your house right now!” Sarah says. A few minutes later Sarah comes running up to my room. She informed me that she submitted our painting to a huge art school in New York, and we got into the program! She knew how much I wanted to go to New York and also how much I love art so she thought this would be perfect. She asked, “should I tell them we are coming?” I said “Yes of course!” Sarah left to go tell her parents and suddenly a feeling of guilt went through my stomach. How could I leave my mom here alone to take care of my dad and siblings. That would be so selfish of me. It took me 2 whole days to build up enough courage to even bring up the idea to my mom. 

I told my mom about my situation. I heard her sigh and I got scared. Even though I thought she was angry or disappointed, I found her words very comforting. “Olivia, I know you feel like you have an obligation to stay here and help me, but that isn’t your job. You need to go out into the world and find yourself. I would never say you couldn’t follow your passion when you are the most selfless person I know.” Hearing these words gave me the courage to leave my family and pursue my dream. 

It was the next week that I left to go and get settled in before my first term started at the end of August. I got on the plane with Sarah, and our flight took off. Hours later, we landed in the big apple. I was so eager to get off the plane and go to our dorm.  However, when we got in the taxi together, New York was nothing like we imagined. People were mean, it was a rainy day, and everyone was honking their horns. Considering all of this, I saw right through the negative with my excitement. Sarah on the other hand, was a tad unsure about the whole experience. 

One week has passed and we have settled. I think Sarah is a little homesick already though. Classes start this morning and I am very nervous, yet am also happy to start improving my art. My first class was about painting. I enjoyed it so much because for once people around me understood me. I met Sarah after lunch and she told me her day has been rough. I gave her some encouragement to keep an open mind. We didn’t have any classes together and while I am used to being on my own, she is not. 

A few weeks have passed and after school one day, Sarah came to me in tears saying, “Olivia, I can’t do this anymore! I miss my family and house and I just really want to go back home!” I was a tad heartbroken but accepted her decision. The next day, she went home. She really didn’t love art as much as me. Even though Sarah had left, I was still happy that I got to do art. 

One month has passed and I got a call. My mom called me in tears saying Grandma was sick and didn’t have much time left. My heart dropped, tears streamed down my face. I told my mom I would be on the next flight home. I couldn’t help but think this was my fault. I left Grandma there and she wanted to help my family but her body just couldn’t handle it. 

As soon as I got home I went to the hospital to see her. I sobbed at her bed side for hours before I could get any words out. My parents left me alone with her to talk. I finally choked up some words and told her I could never go back to art school. Not after this. Grandma got a certain look in her eyes and said,“Olivia, you cannot give up on your dream because of me. I would never forgive myself if you did. This is not your fault. You have a huge future ahead of you filled with joy, sadness, excitement, and fun memories. But you need to go after your dream, go back to art school and remember I will always be in your heart.” She then gave me her bracelet that she had never taken off before and told me to keep it.

I had an entire week off of art school and spent every minute I could at her bed side. 3 days before I went back she passed away. I went to her funeral and barely made it through. I spent the rest of the time I was home with my family. It was time to go back and it has been one of the hardest things I have ever done. It helped knowing it is what my grandma wanted. I got on a flight back and once I arrived back, I have never felt so alone. With Sarah leaving and my grandma being gone, it was really hard. I got through art school though and just like that it was the next summer and time to go home.

Going home was hard because everywhere I turned, there were memories of Grandma. My mom knew how close her and I were and helped me through it. Every day that summer I worked on a painting of grandma and I. I never have shown anyone it because it was very personal. I knew it was my best painting so far though. 

3 years have passed and I still miss Grandma everyday. I have a new dream though, the University of CalArts. Since I went to art school, they were very impressed with my resume. However I needed a full ride scholarship to afford it. The only way to do that is to submit my art work to them. I need to submit the best ones and my painting of Grandma is the best.

After much thought, Grandma always told me to chase my dreams at any cost and remembering that, I knew this is what she would want. I looked down at my bracelet from grandma, and wrote my college application about him and submitted my painting  of her with it. 0890

After 3 weeks of eagerly waiting, I got a letter. I was so scared to open it. My mom helped open it and read it to me, and I got in! My whole family jumped with excitement and gave me the biggest hug. The day came when it was time to leave and my family sat me down and told me how proud they were of me and how much they loved me. I took a deep breath, and walked out the door excited and nervous to start my new life. I guess I am not so alone after all.