Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #15

#15

Polkamania

Title: “Polkamania”

Album: None; released online

Released: 2024

Genre: Polka/Comedy

Written:  Adele Laurie Blue Adkins / Al Yankovic / Ariana Grande / Attticus Matthew Ross / Austin J. Owens / Belcalis Almanzar / Billie Eilish O’Connell / Charles K. Wilson / Charles Michael Anderson / Daniel Nigro / Devon Christopher Gallaspy / Edward Christopher Sheeran / Er

Songs: “Bad Guy,” “Hello,” “Flowers,” “We Don’t Talk About Bruno,” “Vampire,” “Old Town Road,” “Despacito,” “Shape of You,” “Uptown Funk,” “WAP,” “Thank U, Next,” “Shake It Off”

They may be some recency bias involved in this one, as Polkamania is the most recent song Weird Al has put out. However, it is an epic polka that has spanned the years after the release of Mandatory Fun with some of the best songs of that period. It also shows how starved I was for new Weird Al song content.

Lyrics

So you’re a tough guy                                                                     
Like it really rough guy                                                                                
Just can’t get enough guy                                                              
Chest always so puffed guy                                                           
I’m that bad type                                                                  
Make your mama sad type                                                 
Make your girlfriend mad type                                                       
Might seduce your dad type                                                           
I’m the bad guy
Duh                                                                 
                                                                                                            
(Adele / Hello)
So hello from the other side                                                                                   
I must’ve called a thousand times                                     
To tell you I’m sorry for breaking your heart                                
But it don’t matter, it clearly doesn’t tear you apart                    
Anymore
 
(Miley Cyrus / Flowers)
I can buy myself flowers                                                                 
Write my name in the sand                                                
Talk to myself for hours                                                                  
Say things you don’t understand                                                   
I can take myself dancing                                                               
And I can hold my own hand                                                                     
Yeah, I can love me better than you can                         
 
(Cast of Encanto / Lin-Manuel Miranda / We Don’t Talk About Bruno
We don’t talk about Bruno, no, no, no                                          
We don’t talk about Bruno                                                  
 
(Olivia Rodrigo / Vampire)
I used to think I was smart                                                 
But you made me look so naïve                                                                
The way you sold me for parts                                                      
You sunk your teeth into me, oh                                       
Bloodsucker, dream crusher                                              
Bleedin’ me dry, like a gosh darn vampire                                   
 
(Lil Nas X / Old Town Road)
Yeah, I’m gonna take my horse to the old town road                            
I’m gonna ride ’til I can’t no more                                      
I’m gonna take my horse to the old town road                            
I’m gonna ride ’til I can’t no more                          
Can’t nobody tell me nothing                                                         
(You can’t tell me nothing) No!                                                      
Can’t nobody tell me nothing                                                         
 

Despacito                                                                              
Quiero respirar tu cuello despacito                                               
Deja que te diga cosas al oído                                                      
Para que te acuerdes si no estás conmigo                                 
(Sube, sube, sube)

Mmm
I’m in love with the shape of you                                                               
We push and pull like a magnet do                                              
Every day discovering something brand new                             
I’m in love with your body                                                   
Oh I oh I oh I oh I                                                     
I’m in love with your body                                                   
Oh I oh I oh I oh I                                                     
Yoda-loda lady hoo!                                                            

‘Cause uptown funk gon’ give it to you                                         
‘Cause uptown funk gon’ give it to you                                         
Saturday night and we in the spot                                                
Don’t believe me just watch (hey!)                                                
(Doo doo doo, doo doo doo)                                              
 
(Cardi B feat. Megan Thee Stallion / WAP)
I want you to park that big Mack truck right in this little garage
Yeah, you messing with some
Bring a bucket and a mop for this
Give me everything you got for this
I’m talking WAP, WAP, WAP, that’s some
                                                                                                                                                            
(Ariana Grande / Thank U, Next)
Thank you, next                                                                   
Thank you, next                                                                   
Thank you, next                                                                   
I’m so super grateful for my ex                                                      
Thank you, next                                                                   
Thank you, next                                                                   
Thank you, next                                                                   
Super-duper grateful for my ex                                                      
 
(Taylor Swift / Shake It Off)
Wait!
I just killed my ex 
Not the best idea 
Killed his girlfriend next, how’d I get here?
I just killed my ex 
I still love him, though 
Rather be in hell than all alone
                                                            

I stay out too late                                                                 
Got nothing in my brain                                                                   
That’s what people say, mm-mm                                      
That’s what people say, mm-mm                                      
‘Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play                
And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate                    
Baby, I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake                    
I shake it off, I shake it off (hoo-hoo-hoo)                                                
Heartbreakers gonna break, break, break, break, break                      
And the fakers gonna fake, fake, fake, fake, fake                                  
Baby, I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake                    
I shake it off, I shake it off                                                  
That’s right, I’m gonna                                                                
Shake it                                                                              
Off (Gonna shake it off)                                                                              
(Shake, shake, shake it off)                                                           
(Now watch me shake it off)                                                           
Hey!”

Source: LyricFind

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #18

#18

Happy Birthday

Title: “Happy Birthday”

Album: “Weird Al” Yankovic

Released: 1983

Written: Al Yankovic

Style: New wave/Punk rock pastiche

Topic: Wishing happy birthday while discussing all the worst things on the earth.

I love this song. I play it every year for my birthday and I have sent it to several people over Facebook or other social media platform.

“And a pinch to grow an inch!”

Lyrics

Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you

Well, it’s time to celebrate your birthday, it happens every year
We’ll eat a lot of broccoli and drink a lot of beer
You should be good and happy that there’s something you can eat
A million people every day are starving in the street

Your daddy’s in the gutter with the wretched and the poor
Your mama’s in the kitchen with a can of Cycle Four
There’s garbage in the water
There’s poison in the sky
I guess it won’t be long before we’re all gonna die

Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you

Well, what’s the matter little friend? You think this party is the pits?
Enjoy it while you can, we’ll soon be blown to bits
The monkeys in the Pentagon are gonna cook our goose
Their finger’s on the button, all they need is an excuse

It doesn’t take a military genius to see
We’ll all be crispy critters after World War III
There’s nowhere you can run to, nowhere you can hide
When they drop the big one, we all get fried
Come on, boys and girls, sing along, okay?

Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you (wow!)

Well, there’s a punk in the alley and he’s looking for a fight
There’s an Arab on the corner buying everything in sight
There’s a mother in the ghetto with another mouth to feed
Seems that everywhere you look today there’s misery and greed

I guess you know the earth is gonna crash into the sun
But that’s no reason why we shouldn’t have a little fun
So if you think it’s scary, if it’s more than you can take
Just blow out the candles and have a piece of cake

Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you (wow!)

Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you

And a pinch to grow an inch!

Source: Musixmatch

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #20

#20

It’s All About the Pentiums

Title: “It’s All About the Pentiums”

Album: Running With Scissors

Released: 1999

Parody: “It’s All About the Benjamins” by Puff Daddy

Written: Sean Combs / Kimberly Jones / David Styles / Sean Jacobs / Jason Phillips / Christopher Wallace / Terry M. Etlinger / Linda Laurie / Deric Angelettie / Al Yankovic

Genre: Rap/Comedy

Topic: Computers

We enter the Top 20 of the Top 100 with one of Weird Al’s first examples of his skill in rapping.

Lyrics

It’s all about the Pentiums, baby
Uhh, uh-huh, yeah
Uhh, uh-huh, yeah
It’s all about the Pentiums, baby
It’s all about the Pentiums, baby
It’s all about the Pentiums! (it’s all about the Pentiums, baby)
It’s all about the Pentiums! (it’s all about the Pentiums, baby)
Yeah

What y’all wanna do?
Wanna be hackers? Code crackers? Slackers
Wastin’ time with all the chatroom yakkers?
Nine to five, chillin’ at Hewlett Packard?
Workin’ at a desk with a dumb little placard?
Yeah, payin’ the bills with my mad programming skills
Defraggin’ my hard drive for thrills
I got me a hundred gigabytes of RAM
I never feed trolls and I don’t read spam
Installed a T1 line in my house
Always at my PC, double-clickin’ on my mizouse
Upgrade my system at least twice a day
I’m strictly plug-and-play, I ain’t afraid of Y2K
I’m down with Bill Gates, I call him Money for short
I phone him up at home and I make him do my tech support
It’s all about the Pentiums, what?
You’ve gotta be the dumbest newbie I’ve ever seen
You’ve got white-out all over your screen
You think your Commodore 64 is really neato
What kinda chip you got in there, a Dorito?
You’re usin’ a 286? Don’t make me laugh
Your Windows boots up in what, a day and a half?
You could back up your whole hard drive on a floppy diskette
You’re the biggest joke on the Internet
Your database is a disaster
You’re waxin’ your modem, tryin’ to make it go faster
Hey fella, I bet you’re still livin’ in your parents’ cellar
Downloadin’ pictures of Sarah Michelle Gellar
And postin’ “Me too!” like some brain-dead AOL-er
I should do the world a favor and cap you like Old Yeller
You’re just about as useless as jpegs to Hellen Keller

It’s all about the Pentiums! (it’s all about the Pentiums, baby)
It’s all about the Pentiums! (it’s all about the Pentiums, baby)
It’s all about the Pentiums! (it’s all about the Pentiums, baby)
It’s all about the Pentiums! (it’s all about the Pentiums, baby)

Now, what y’all wanna do?
Wanna be hackers? Code crackers? Slackers
Wastin’ time with all the chatroom yakkers?
Nine to five, chillin’ at Hewlett Packard?

Uh, uh, loggin’ in now
Wanna run wit my crew, hah?
Rule cyberspace and crunch numbers like I do?
They call me the king of the spreadsheets
Got ’em all printed out on my bedsheets
My new computer’s got the clocks, it rocks
But it was obsolete before I opened the box
You say you’ve had your desktop for over a week?
Throw that junk away, man, it’s an antique
Your laptop is a month old? Well that’s great
If you could use a nice, heavy paperweight
My digital media is write-protected
Every file inspected, no viruses detected
I beta tested every operating system
Gave props to some, and others? I dissed ’em
While your computer’s crashin’, mine’s multitaskin’
It does all my work without me even askin’
Got a flat-screen monitor forty inches wide
I believe that your says “Etch-A-Sketch” on the side
In a 32-bit world, you’re a 2-bit user
You’ve got your own newsgroup, alt.total-loser
Your motherboard melts when you try to send a fax
Where’d you get your CPU, in a box of Cracker Jacks?
Play me online? Well, you know that I’ll beat you
If I ever meet you I’ll control-alt-delete you
What? What? What? What? What?

It’s all about the Pentiums! (it’s all about the Pentiums, baby)
It’s all about the Pentiums! (it’s all about the Pentiums, baby)
It’s all about the Pentiums! (it’s all about the Pentiums, baby)
It’s all about the Pentiums! (it’s all about the Pentiums, baby)

Now, what y’all wanna do?
Wanna be hackers? Code crackers? Slackers
Wastin’ time with all the chatroom yakkers?
Nive to five, chillin’ at Hewlett Packard?
What?

Source: Musixmatch

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs#23

#23

Angry White Boy Polka

Title: “Angry White Boy Polka”

Album: Poodle Hat

Released: 2003

Genre: Polka/Comedy

Written: Alfred Matthew Yankovic / Jerry Allan Horton / Tobin Esperance / Dave Buckner / Jacoby Dakota Shaddix

Songs included: “Last Resort,” “Chop Suey,” “Get Free,” “Hate To Say I Told You So,” “Fell In Love With A Girl,” “Last Nite,” “Down With The Sickness,” “Renegades Of Funk,” “My Way,” “Outside,” “Bawitdaba,” “Youth Of The Nation,” and “The Real Slim Shady.”

I am not sure that I had ever heard any of these songs prior to the polka, so it is always fun when I happen to hear a lyric from a song and i think, “Hey, that’s Weird Al’s song!”

Lyrics

Cut my life into pieces
This is my last resort
Suffocation, no breathing
Don’t give a- if I cut my arm bleeding
This is my last resort

‘Cause I’m losing my sight, losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I’m fine
Losing my sight, losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I’m fine
Nothing’s all right, nothing is fine
I’m running and a-crying

Wake up (Wake up)
Grab a brush and put a little make-up
Hide the scars to fade away the shakeup
Why’d you leave the keys upon the table?
Here you go create another fable
You wanted to
Grab a brush and put a little makeup
You wanted to
Hide the scars to fade away the shakeup
You wanted to
Why’d you leave the keys upon the table?
You wanted to
I don’t think you trust
In my self-righteous suicide
I cry when angels deserve to die, die, die
D-d-die die die die die

Hey
I’m gonna get free
I’m gonna get free
I’m gonna get free
Ride into the sun
She never loved me
She never loved me
She never loved me
Why should anyone?
Come here, come here, come here I’ll take your photo for ya
Come here, come here, come here Drive you around the corner
Come here, come here, come here You know you really oughta
Come here, come here, come here Move out to California

Do what I want ’cause I can
If I don’t because I wanna
Be ignored by the stiff and the bored
Because I’m gonna
Hate to say I told you so (all right)
Do believe I told you so
Now it’s all out and you knew
‘Cause I wanted to

Fell in love with a girl
I fell in love at once and almost completely
She’s in love with the world
But sometimes these feelings can be so misleading
Can’t think of anything to do
Yeah, my left brain knows that all love is fleeting
She’s just looking for something new
Yeah, I said it once before but it bears repeating, now

Last night, she said
“Oh baby, don’t you feel so down” (feel so down)
“When you turn me off
“When I feel left out”
So I (what’d you do?)
Well, I turned around (right around)
“Oh, baby, gonna be alright” (gonna be alright)
It was a great big lie (big old lie)
‘Cause I left that night
Yeah

Ooh ah ah ah ah
Ooh ah ah ah ah
Get up
Come on get down with the sickness
Get up
Come on get down with the sickness
Get up
Come on get down with the sickness
Open up your hate and let it flow into me
Get up
Come on get down with the sickness
You mother get up
Come on get down with the sickness
Get up
Come on get down with the sickness
Madness is the gift that has been given to me

We’re the renegades of funk
We’re the renegades of funk
We’re the renegades of funk
We’re the renegades of funk
This time I’m’a let it all come out
This time I’m’a stand up and shout
I’m a do things my way
It’s my way
My way or the highway
This time I’m’a let it all come out
This time I’m’a stand up and shout
I’m a do things my way
It’s my way
Or the highway

But I’m on the outside
I’m looking in
I can see through you
See your true colors
‘Cause inside you’re ugly
Ugly like me
I can see through you
See to the real you

Bawitdaba da bang da dang diggy diggy
Diggy said the boogie said up jump the boogie
Bawitdaba da bang da dang diggy diggy
Diggy said the boogie said up jump the boogie

We are, we are
The youth of the nation
We are, we are
The youth of the nation

We are, we are
The youth of the nation
We are the youth of the nation Hey

I’m Slim Shady, yes I’m the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won’t the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up
Please stand up

I’m Slim Shady, yes I’m the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won’t the real Slim Shady please
Please, please stand up

Slim Shady won’t you please stand up?
(Stand up Shady)(Stand up)
(Stand up Shady)(Stand up)
Shady, won’t you please stand up?
Hey

Source: Musixmatch

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #29

#29

The Alternative Polka

Title: “The Alternative Polka”

Album: Bad Hair Day

Released: 1996

Genre: Polka/Comedy

Written:  Ivonil Machado Da Silva / Paula Stefanovich/Al Yankovic

Songs in Medley: “Loser,” “Sex Type Thing,” “All I Want to Do,” “Closer,” “Bang & Blame,” “You Oughta Know,” “Bullet with Butterfly Wings,” “Buddy Holly,” “My Friends,” “I’ll Stick Around,” “Black Hole Sun,” “Basket Case.”

Lyrics

Soy un perdedor! I’m a loser, baby!
So why don’t you kill me? Everybody!
Soy un perdedor! I’m a loser, baby!
So why don’t you kill me? HEY!

I am, I am, I am
I said I wanna get next to you
I said I’m gonna get close to you
You wouldn’t want me have to hurt you too
Hurt you too
I know you want what’s on my mind
I know you like what’s on my mind
I know it eats you up inside
I know, you know, you know, you know
Here I come, I come, I come, I come
Here I come, I come, I come, I come

‘Cause all I wanna do is have some fun
I’ve got a feeling I’m not the only one
All I wanna do is have some fun
I’ve got a feeling I’m not the only one
All I wanna do is have some fun
Until the sun comes up
Over Santa Monica Boulevard

HELP ME! I broke apart my insides
HELP ME! I got no soul to sell
HELP ME! The only thing that works for me
Help me get away from myself
I wanna (BOING) you like an animal
I wanna feel you from the inside
I wanna (BOING) you like an animal
My whole existence is flawed
You get me closer to god hey! Hey! Hey!

You bang, bang, bang, bang, bang
Blame, blame, blame
You bang, bang, bang, bang, bang
It’s not my thing so let it go!

‘Cause that love that you gave that we made
Wasn’t able to make it enough
For you to be open wide, no
And every time you speak her name
Does she know how you told me you’d hold me
Until you die, ’til you die
But you’re still alive
And I’m here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It’s not fair to deny me of the cross
I bare that you gave to me you oughta know
HEY!

Despite all my rage
I am still just a rat in a cage
Despite all my rage
I am still just a rat in a cage
And someone will say what is
Lost can never be saved despite all my rage
I am still just a rat in a cage

I love all of you hurt by the cold
So hard and lonely too
When you don’t know yourself

I don’t owe you anything!
I don’t owe you anything!
I don’t owe you anything!
I don’t owe you anything!

Black hole sun won’t you come
And wash away the rain black hole sun
Won’t you come, won’t you come
Black hole sun, black hole sun
Won’t you come
Black hole sun, black hole sun
Won’t you come
Black hole sun, black hole sun

Do you have the time to listen to me whine
About nothing and everything all at once?
I am one of those melodramatic fools
Neurotic to the bone no doubt about it
Sometimes I give myself the creeps
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me
It all keeps all adding up
I think I’m cracking up
And am I just Paranoid am I just stoned?
Or am I just stoned?

Source: LyricFind

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #34

#34

Polka Face

Title: “Polka Face”

Album: Alpocalypse

Released: 2010

Genre: Polka/Comedy

Written:  Adam Young / Alecia Beth Moore / Allan Peter Grigg / Benjamin Levin / Brandon Roy Melancon / Breyon Prescott / Cathy Dennis / Charles Burgess Kelley / Christopher A Stewart / Christopher Brian Bridges / Christopher M Henderson / Cristina Flores / David Wesley Haywood / Dwayne Carter / Edmund Koestscher / Faheem Najm / Fraser Lance Thorneycroft Smith / Gaetano Lama / Hillary Dawn Scott / Jacob Milan Taio Cruz / James Thomas Brown / Jamie Foxx / Jared Lincoln Cotter / Jason Joel Desrouleaux / Jay Sean / Jeremy David Skaller / Johan/Al Yankovic

Songs included: “Liechtensteiner Polka,” “Poker Face,” “Womanizer,” “Right Round,” “Day ‘n’ Nite,” “Need You Now,” “Baby,” “So What,” “I Kissed a Girl,” “Fireflies,” “Blame It,” “Replay,” “Down,” “Break Your Heart,” “Tick Tock Polka,” and “TikTok.”

Lyrics

Mum mum mum mah
Mum mum mum muh
Oh whoa oh oh oh

Can’t read my, can’t read my
No, he can’t read-a my polka face
(She’s got to love nobody)
Can’t read my, can’t read my
No he can’t read-a my polka face
(She’s got to love nobody)
P-p-p-polka face p-p-polka face (Mum mum mum muh)
P-p-p-polka face p-p-polka face, hey

Womanizer, woman-womanizer, you’re a womanizer
Oh, womanizer, oh, you’re a womanizer baby
You, you, you are
You, you, you are
Womanizer, womanizer, womanizer
(Womanizer)

Boy don’t try to front
I, I know just what you are (are are)
Boy don’t try to front
I, I know just what you are (are are)

You say I’m crazy
I got your crazy
You’re nothing but a
Womanizer

You spin my head right round, right round
When you go down, when you go down down
You spin my head right round, right round
When you go down, when you go down

Day and night
The lonely stoner seems to free his mind at night
He’s all alone through the day and night
The lonely loner seems to free his mind at night
At, at, at night

It’s a quarter after one, I’m a little drunk and I need you now
Said I wouldn’t call but I’ve lost all control and I need you now
And I don’t know how I can do without
I just need you now

And I was like baby baby baby
Baby baby baby
Baby baby baby
I thought you’d always be mine

So, so what, I’m still a rock star
I got my rock moves and I don’t need you
And guess what, I’m havin’ more fun
And now that we’re done, I’m gonna show you tonight
I’m alright, I’m just fine and you’re a tool
So, so what, I am a rock star
I got my rock moves and I don’t want you tonight

I kissed a girl and I liked it,
The taste of her cherry chapstick
I kissed a girl just to try it,
I hope my boyfriend don’t mind it
It felt so wrong, it felt so right,
Don’t mean I’m in love tonight
I kissed a girl and I liked it, I liked it

And I’d like to make myself believe
That planet earth turns slowly
It’s hard to say that I’d rather stay
Awake when I’m asleep
‘Cause everything is never as it seems

Blame it on the goose, gotcha feeling loose
Blame it on the ‘tron, gotchya me in the zone
Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol
Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol
Blame it on the vodka, blame it on the Henny
Blame it on the blue tap, got you feeling dizzy
Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol
Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol

Shawty’s like a melody in my head
That I can’t keep out
Got me singin’ like
Na na na na everyday
It’s like my iPod stuck on replay
Stuck on replay
Stuck on replay
Replay
Replay-ay-ay-ay

Baby, are you down, down, down, down, down?
Baby are you down?

I’m only gonna break break your break break your heart
I’m only gonna break break your break break your heart
I’m only gonna break break your break break your heart
I’m only gonna break your heart

Don’t stop, making pop
DJ blow my speakers up
Tonight, I’mma fight
Till we see the sun light
Tick tock, on the clock
But the polka don’t stop (no)
Yodel-yodel-lady-hoo
Yodel-yodel-lady-hoo

P-p-p-polka face p-p-polka face (mum mum mum mah)
P-p-p-polka face p-p-polka face
Oh no you can’t read my p-p-polka face
Talk about my polka face
P-p-p-polka face

Source: LyricFind

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #53

#53

Tacky

Title: “Tacky”

Album: Mandatory Fun

Release: 2014

Written: Pharrell L. Williams/Al Yankovic

Parody: “Happy” by Pharrell Williams

Genre: Pop

Video featured: Aisha Tyler, Margaret Cho, Eric Stonestreet, Jack Black, and Kristen Schaal

Lyrics

It might seem crazy, wearing stripes and plaid
I Instagram every meal I’ve had
All my used liquor bottles are on display
We can go to see a show but I’ll make you pay

Wear my belt with suspenders and sandals with my socks
(Because I’m tacky)
Got some new glitter Uggs and lovely pink sequined Crocs
(Because I’m tacky)
Never let you forget some favor I did for you
(Because I’m tacky)
If you’re okay with that, then, you might just be tacky, too

I meet some chick, ask her this and that
Like ‘Are you pregnant girl, or just really fat?’ (what?)
Well, now I’m dropping names almost constantly
That’s what Kanye West keeps telling me, here’s why

Wear my Ed Hardy shirt with fluorescent orange pants
(Because I’m tacky)
Got my new resume it’s printed in Comic Sans
(Because I’m tacky)
Think it’s fun threatening waiters with a bad Yelp review
(Because I’m tacky)
If you think that’s just fine, then, you’re probably tacky, too

Bring me shame, can’t nothing
Bring me shame, I never know why
Bring me shame, can’t nothing
Bring me shame, I said
Bring me shame, can’t nothing
Bring me shame, it’s pointless to try
Bring me shame, can’t nothing
Bring me shame, I said

43 Bumper Stickers and a YOLO license plate
(Because I’m tacky)
Bring along my coupon book whenever I’m on a date
(Because I’m tacky)
Practice my twerking moves in line at the DMV
(Because I’m tacky)
Took the whole bowl of restaurant mints. Hey, it said they’re free
(Because I’m tacky)
I get drunk at the bank
And take off my shirt, at least
(Because I’m tacky)
I would live-tweet a funeral, take selfies with the deceased
(Because I’m tacky)
If I’m bit by a zombie, I’m probably not telling you
(Because I’m tacky)
If you don’t think that’s bad, guess what, then you’re tacky, too

Source: LyricFind

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #56

#56

What is Life

Title: “What is Life”

Written: George Harrison

Album: George Fest: A Night to Celebrate the Music of George Harrison

Style: pop/rock/uptempo soul

Performed: George Fest tribute concert on September 28, 2014

The first song on this list that was not written (at least in part) by Weird Al. Weird Al performed this at the George Fest tribute concert at the Fonda Theater in Los Angeles. Al was one of several other performers covering tracks from the former Beatle. Al also sang on the version of The Traveling Wilburys’ song, “Handle With Care.” “What is Life” was one of my favorite Georege Harrison songs and seeing the live performance by Weird Al was a great addition to it for me.

It is a straight cover of the song, without any comedic undertones.

Lyrics

What I feel, I can’t say
But my love is there for you anytime of day
But if it’s not love that you need
Then I’ll try my best to make everything succeed

Tell me, what is my life without your love
Tell me, who am I without you, by my side

What I know, I can do
If I give my love now to everyone like you
But if it’s not love that you need
Then I’ll try my best to make ev’rything succeed

Tell me, what is my life without your love
Tell me, who am I without you, by my side
Tell me, what is my life without your love
Tell me, who am I without you, by my side

What I feel, I can’t say
But my love is there for you any time of day
But if it’s not love that you need
Then I’ll try my best to make everything succeed

Tell me, what is my life without your love
Tell me, who am I without you, by my side
Oh tell me, what is my life without your love
Tell me, who am I without you, by my side

What is my life without your love
Tell me, who am I without you, by my side

[fade:]
Oh tell me, what is my life without your love
Tell me who am I without you by my side

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #56.5

#56.5

Polka Power

As I was going through the list of songs on the Top 100, I discovered a mistake in the list. Instead of cutting a song that absolutely deserves its spot on the list, I decided to make this special exception for Weird Al and make it a Top 100 with 101 songs in it. Thus, Polka Power becomes the first ever 1/2 entry on our Daily Countdown lists and the only Daily Countdown Two-a-day.

Title: “Polka Power”

Album: Running With Scissors

Released: 1989

Genre: Polka/Comedy

Songs: “The Twelfth Street Rag,” “Wannabe,” “Flagpole Sitta,” “Ghetto Supastar (That Is What You Are),” “Everybody (Backstreet’s Back),” “Walkin’ On the Sun,” “Intergalactic,” “Tubthumping,” “Ray of Light,” “Push,” “Semi-Charmed Life,” “The Dope Show,” “MMMBop,” “Sex and Candy,” “Closing Time,” and “W.A.Y. Moby Polka.”

Lyrics

Yeah, well, I’ll tell ya what I want, what I really really want
(So tell us what ya want, what ya really really want)
I’ll tell ya what I want, what I really really want
(So tell us what ya want, what ya really really want)
I want to ha, I want to ha, I want to ha, I want to ha
I want to really, really, really, want to zigga zigga, ah!
If you want to be my lover, you gotta get with my friends
Make it last forever, friendship never ends
If you want to be my lover, you have got to give
Taking is too easy, but that’s the way it is.
Hey!

I’m not sick, but I’m not well.
And I’m so hot, ’cause I’m in hell.
I’m not sick, but I’m not well.
And it’s a sin to live so well.

Ghetto superstar, that is what you are,
Coming from afar, reaching for the stars.
Run away with me, to another place
We can rely on each other, uh huh
From one corner to another, uh huh

Everybody (yeah)
Rock your body (yeah)
Everybody
Rock your body right.
Backstreet’s back, all right!
All right!

So don’t delay, act now, supplies are running out
But now, if you’re still alive, six to eight years to arrive
And if you follow, there may be a tomorrow
But if the offer’s shun, you might as well be walking on the sun
Might as well be walking on the sun!

Intergalactic planetary, planetary intergalactic
Intergalactic planetary, planetary intergalactic
Intergalactic planetary, planetary intergalactic

I get knocked down, but I get up again,
You’re never gonna keep me down
I get knocked down, but I get up again
You’re never gonna keep me down
I get knocked down, but I get up again
You’re never gonna keep me down
I get knocked down, but I get up again
You’re never gonna keep me down

Quicker than a ray of light
Quicker than a ray of light
Quicker than a ray of light

I want to push you around, well I will, well I will
I want to push you down, well I will, well I will
I want to take you for granted
I want to take you for granted
Yeah, yeah, well I will

I want something else
To get me through this semi-charmed kinda life, baby baby
I want something else
I’m not listening when you say good-bye.

There’s lots of pretty, pretty ones
That want to get you high
But all the pretty, pretty ones
Will leave you low and blow your mind
We’re all stars now in the dope show
We’re all stars now in the dope show

Mmmbop, do floppa do wop
Do be dop ah
Do wap, do zap ah, do
Yeah-ee yeah
Mmmbop, do be ‘zap ah, do wop
Do be dop ah
Do wop, doom zap ah, do

I smell sex and candy here
Who’s that lounging in my chair?
Who’s that casting devious stares in my direction?
Mama, this surely is a dream
Yeah, yeah mama, this surely is a dream
Dig it, yeah mama, this surely is

Closing time
One last call for alcohol
So finish your whiskey or beer
Closing time
You don’t have to go home
But you can’t stay here
I know who I want to take me home
I know who I want to take me home
I know who I want to take me home
Take us home.

‘Cause it’s closing time!
(Yeah it’s closing time)
(We’re talkin’ ’bout closin’ time)
(It’s really closin’ time)
(Hey!)

Source: LyricFind

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #65

#65

Midnight Star

Title: “Midnight Star”

Written: Al Yankovic

Album: In 3D

Release: 1983

Genre: Pop rock

This upbeat original song is about the type of tabloid newspapers that were such a huge thing during the 1980s.

Lyrics

I was waiting in the express lane
With my twelve items or less
At the checkout counter at the local grocery store
I was only passin’ by

But a paper caught my eye
And I learned a few things
I never knew before
It said

Your pet may be an extra-terrestrial
It said The ghost of Elvis is living in my den
You can learn to cope with stress
And you can beat the IRS

And the Incredible Frog Boy is on the loose again
Ohhh Midnight Star
It’s in the weekly Midnight Star
Aliens from outer space are sleeping in my car
Midnight Star, I wanna know, I wanna know!

Eat jelly doughnuts and lose twenty pounds a day
Hear the story of the man born without a head
And top psychics all agree

That the telephone company

Will have a brand new service that lets you talk to the dead

Ohhh Midnight Star

You can believe it if you read it in the weekly Midnight Star

They’re keeping Hitler’s brain alive inside a jar
Midnight Star, I wanna know, I wanna know!

Midnight Star I wanna know
Ohhh Midnight Star
Well don’t ya know that I read it, I read it in the weekly Midnight Star?

The UFOs have landed, and we’ll tell you where they are
Midnight Star I wanna know I wanna know
Ohhh Midnight Star
Well, you can read all about it in the weekly Midnight Star

You can use your ESP to learn to play guitar
I wanna know I wanna know
(Ahhh Midnight Star)
I wanna know I wanna know

I wanna know I wanna know
(Ahhh Midnight Star)
I wanna know I wanna know

Enquiring minds like mine wanna know
(You can read it you can read it you can read it in the Midnight Star)
I wanna know I wanna know

I wanna know I wanna know
(You can read it you can read it you can read it in the Midnight Star)
I wanna know I wanna know

I wanna know I wanna know
(You can read it you can read it you can read it in the Midnight Star)
I wanna know I wanna know

I wanna know I wanna know
(You can read it you can read it you can read it in the Midnight Star)

Source: Musixmatch

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #66

#66

Perform This Way

Title: “Perform This Way”

Written: Lady Gaga /Jeppe Laursen/ Fernando Garibay/Paul “DJ White Shadow” Blair/Al Yankovic

Album: Alpocalypse

Released: 2011

Parody: “Born This Way” by Lady Gaga

A parody that almost did not happen. Al had sent the parody to Lady Gaga’s people, but they rejected it without Lady Gaga hearing it. When Lady Gaga did hear the parody, she gave her blessing. While Weird Al does not have to get artists permission to do a parody, he always apporached the aritst/company as a sign of respect.

Lyrics

My mama told me when I was hatched
Act like a superstar
Save your allowance, buy a bubble dress
And someday you will go far
Now on red carpets, well, I’m hard to miss
The press follows everywhere I go
I’ll poke your eye out with a dress like this
Back off and enjoy the show!

I’m sure my critics will say it’s a grotesque display
Well they can bite me, baby, I perform this way
I might be wearin’ Swiss cheese or maybe covered with bees
It doesn’t mean I’m crazy, I perform this way (‘from this way)

Ooh, my little monsters pay lots ’cause I perform this way
Baby, I perform this way (perform this way)
Ooh, don’t worry, I’m okay, hey, I just perform this way
I’m not crazy, I perform this way

I’ll be a troll or evil queen
I’ll be a human jelly bean
‘Cause every day is Halloween for me

I’m so completely original
My new look is all the rage
I’ll wrap my small intestines ’round my neck
And set fire to myself on stage
I’ll wear a porcupine on my head
On a W-H-I-M
And for no reason now I’ll sing in French
Excusez-moi, qui a PT (express yourself)

Got my straight jacket today, its made of gold lame
No, not because I’m crazy, I perform this way
I strap prime rib to my feet, cover myself with raw meat
I’ll bet you’ve never seen a skirt steak worn this way

Don’t be offended when you see
My latest pop monstrosity
I’m strange, weird, shocking, odd, bizarre
I’m Frankenstein, I’m Avatar
There’s nothing too embarrassing
I’ll honestly do anything
But wear white after Labor Day
‘Cause baby, I perform this way

Hope you won’t think it’s cliche if I go nude today
Don’t call the cops, now, baby, I perform this way
No reason I should regret all the attention I get
I’m not completely crazy, I perform this way, yeah

I perform this way-hey, I perform this way-hey
I’m always deviating from the norm this way-hey
I perform this way-hey, I perform this way-hey
I’m really not insane, I just perform this way-hey

Source: LyricFind

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #71

#71

Polka Party

Title: “Polka Party”

Album: Polka Party

Released: 1986

Genre: Polka/Comedy

Songs: “Sledgehammer,” “Sussudio,” “Party All the Time,” “Say You, Say Me,” “Freeway of Love,” “What You Need,” “Harlem Shuffle,” “Venus,” “Nasty,” “Rock Me Amadeus,” “Shout,” “Papa Don’t Preach.”

I listened to this one forever during my college days.

Lyrics

You could have a big dipper
Going up and down all around the bends
You could have a bumper car bumping
This amusement never ends

I wanna be your sledgehammer
Why don’t you call my name?
Oh, let me be your sledgehammer
This will be my testimony, yeah, yeah

There’s a girl that’s been on my mind all the time
Su-su-sudio, oh-oh
Now she don’t even know my name
But I think she likes me just the same
Su-su-sudio, whoa-oh

And my girl wants to party all the time
Party all the time, party all the time
My girl wants to party all the time, party all the time
She parties all the time

Say you, say me
Say it for always, that’s the way it should be
Say you, say me
Say it together naturally

We’re going riding on the freeway of love
Wind’s against our back
We’re going riding on the freeway of love
In a big Cadillac

That’s why you need, ooh
That’s why this what you need, I’ll give you what you need

Yah, yah, yah, do the Harlem polka, everybody now
Yah, yah, yah, do the Harlem polka

She’s got it, yeah baby, she’s got it
Well, I’m your Venus, I’m your fire
What’s your desire?

Nasty, nasty boys don’t mean a thing
Oh, you nasty boys
Nasty, nasty boys don’t ever change
Oh, you nasty boys

I like this part

Ooh, rock me Amadeus
Ooh, rock me Amadeus
Ooh, rock me Amadeus, ooh

Shout, shout, let it all out
These are the things I can do without, come on
I’m talking to you, come on

Please papa don’t preach, I’m in trouble deep
Papa don’t preach, I’ve been losing sleep
But I’ve made up my mind, I’m keeping my baby
Oh, I’m gonna keep my baby
I’m gonna keep my baby

Keep my baby
Keep my baby
Keep my baby
Hey

Source: Musixmatch

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #75

#75

Hooked on Polkas

Title: “Hooked on Polkas”

Album: Dare to Be Stupid

Style: Polka/Comedy

Released: 1985

Songs in medley: “Twelfth Street Rag,” “State of Shock,” “Sharp Dressed Man,” “What’s Love Got to Do with It,” “Method of Modern Love,” “Owner of a Lonely Heart,” “We’re Not Gonna Take It,” “99 Luftballons” (sung in German), “Footloose,” “The Reflex,” “Bang Your Head (Metal Health),” and “Relax”.

Lyrics

You’re takin’ to me good,
Just like you know you should.
You get me on my knees,
Please, baby, please.


She looks so great, every time I see her face.
She put me in a state (ooh, state of shock)


Top coat. Top hat.
I don’t worry, ’cause my wallet’s fat.
Black shades. White glove.
Lookin’ sharp. Lookin’ for love.
They come a-runnin’ just as fast as they can,
‘Cause every girl’s crazy ’bout a sharp-dressed man, hey!

Whoo! Ah ha!


Oh, what’s love, got to do, got to do with it?
What’s love but a second-hand emotion?
What’s love got to do, got to do with it?
Who needs a heart, when a heart can be broken?


M E T H O D O F L O V E,
It’s the method of modern love.


Owner of a lonely heart.
Owner of a lonely heart,
Much better than the
Owner of a broken heart.
Owner of a lonely heart.


We’re not gonna take it. No!
We ain’t gonna take it.
We’re not gonna take it, any more.


Neun und neunzig luftballons
Auf ihrem Weg zum Horizont.
Denkst du vielleicht Grad an mich.
Dann singe ich ein Lied fur dich.


Now I gotta cut loose. Footloose.
Kick off my Sunday shoes.
Please! Louise! Pull me off-a my knees.
Jack! Get back! Come on, before we crack!
Loose! You’re blues. Ev’ry body cut footloose!


So why don’t you use it.
Try not to bruise it.
Find time, don’t lose it.


Bang your head.
Metal health’ll drive ya mad.
Bang your head.
Metal health’ll drive ya mad.


Relax, don’t do it.
When you wanna go to it.
Relax, don’t do it.
When you wanna come.
Relax, don’t do it.
When you wanna sock it to it.
Relax, don’t do it.
When you wanna come.
When you wanna come.
When you want to come.

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #84

#84

The White Stuff

Title: “The White Stuff”

Album: Off the Deep End

Release: 1992

Parody: “You Got It (The Right Stuff)” by New Kids on the Block. 

Written: Maurice Starr/Al Yankovic

Style: Pop/Boy Band

There have been plenty of original songs that Weird Al parodied that I have either did not like or did not know. You Got It (The Right Stuff) is a perfect example of a song that I disliked that Weird Al made better with his parody.

And what can be a better topic for a song than the white stuff in an Oreo cookie?

Lyrics

The white stuff
The white stuff

The first one was a sweet one
Second one was a blast
Soon I finished off the bag, ate ’em up real fast
You can see ’em in my teeth
Tell it when I talk
Had so many my pancreas just went into shock

I love the white stuff, baby
In the middle of an Oreo
I love the white stuff, baby
It’s the most delicious thing I know

I’ve had a zillion or two
In my life, they’re so right
My teeth are all rotted clear through
But who cares? What else am I supposed to do?

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Oreo
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the white stuff
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Oreo
What’s in the middle? The white stuff

The first time that I tried it
Got a big sugar buzz
Nothing gets me high as that sandwhich cookie does
But I love the filling most
I rub it on my roast
Mix it in with my coffee and spread it on my toast

I love the white stuff, baby
In the middle of an Oreo
I love the white stuff, baby
Take some with me everywhere I go

Might get a pimple or two
Well, so what? It’s all right
Now Twinkies and Ding Dongs won’t do
All I need… You know what it is

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Oreo
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the white stuff
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Oreo
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the white stuff
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Oreo
What’s in the middle? The white stuff

Source: Musixmatch

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #87

#87

Lame Claim to Fame

Title: “Lame Claim to Fame”

Album: Mandatory Fun

Release: 2014

Written: Al Yankovic

Style Parody: Southern Culture on the Skids

Lyrics

One time I was in the checkout line
Behind Steven Seagal
Once I’m pretty sure Mr. Jonah Hill
Was in the very next bathroom stall
My best friend’s brother
Well, he was an extra in Wayne’s World 2
My neighbour’s baby sitter
Dated three of the guys in Motley Crue
I swear Jack Nicholson
Looked right at me at a Laker’s game

I got a lame
Lame claim to fame

Check it out, I bought a second hand toaster
From a guy who says he knows Brad Pitt
I got me an email from the prince of Nigeria
Well, he sure sounded legit
My sister used to take piano lessons
From the second cousin of Ralph Nader
Last year I threw up in an elevator
Next to Christian Slater
Well guess what, my birthday and Kim Kardashian’s
Are exactly the same

I got a lame
Lame claim to fame
A really lame
Lame claim to fame

Once at a party, my dentist accidentally
Sneezed on Russell Crowe
I posted first in the comments
On a YouTube video
I tried to sit by Steve Buscemi
But he told me this seat’s taken
I know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy
Who know a guy who knows a guy who know Kevin Bacon

I had a car that used to belong
To Cuba Gooding Jr.’s uncle
A friend of mine in high school
Had jury duty with Art Garfunkel
One time I was staying in the same hotel
As Zooey Deschanel
I used the same napkin dispenser
As Steve Carell at a Taco Bell
Well I don’t mean to brag but
Paul Giamatti’s plumber knows me by name

I got a lame
Lame claim to fame
A really lame
Lame claim to fame
I’m talking lame
Lame claim to fame
A really really really lame
Lame claim to fame

Ow, let’s get lame boys

Source: LyricFind