#16

Headline News

Title: “Headline News”

Released: 1994

Album: Released as a single; appeared on Weird Al’s box set Permanent Record: Al in the Box

Written: Weird Al Yankovic / Brad Roberts

Parody: “Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm” by The Crash Test Dummies

Genre: Alternative Rock

Topic: Song about Michael Fay’s caning in Singapore, the Tonya Harding and Nancy Kerrigan figure skating scandal, and the Lorena and John Bobbitt incident.

Lyrics

Once, there was this kid who
Took a trip to Singapore and brought along his spray paint
And when he finally came back
He had cane marks all over his bottom
He said that it was from when the warden whacked it so hard

Hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm, hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm

Once there was this girl who
Swore that one day she would be a figure skating champion
And when she finally made it
She saw some other girl who was better
And so she hired some guy to
Club her in the knee cap

Hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm, hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm
Hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm, hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm

They got paid for their sound bytes
And sold their TV-Movie rights
And then, there was this guy who
Made his wife so mad one night that she cut off his weiner
And when he finally came to
He found little Mr. Happy was missing
He couldn’t quite explain it
It’d always just been there

Hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm, hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm
Hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm, hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm

Ah-ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah-ah

Source: Musixmatch