#18

Ted Lasso

This is the show that many people made an account to Apple TV + for. Ted Lasso had three seasons on the streamer and was some of the best TV you were going to find.

Ted Lasso was a American football coach who was hired to move to England and coach football (aka soccer to us Americans), despite the fact that he had never coached the sport before.

There has never been a character like Ted Lasso on TV before. I binged the first couple of seasons because I was catching up with all the hype, and I can remember multiple times thinking to myself, “I wish I was more like Ted Lasso.” The constant positives and the humor that he faced every situation was inspiring.

Ted Lasso was played by Jason Sudeikis with such a perfect balance of zeal and down-home-charm. The rest of the cast around Ted was great as well. This included Hannah Waddingham, as team owner Rebecca Welton. Her story arc as the evil owner felt right out of “Major League,” except it took an entirely different path, completely unexpectedly. Bret Goldstein was Roy Kent, aging superstar player who had to come to terms with his skills slipping way. The relationship with Roy and Keeley Jones, played by Juno Temple, was one of the best storylines on the show.

Others on the show included Phil Dunster, Nick Mohammad, Brendan Hunt, Jeremy Swift, James Lance, Andrea Anders, Sam Richardson, Anthony Head, Cristo Fernandez, Annette Badland, Billy Harris, and Keeley Hazell.

Much like the Tick, Ted Lasso became known for his quotes, dubbed Ted Lasso-isms. Here are some of my personal favorites:

• “Taking on a challenge is a lot like riding a horse, isn’t it? If you’re comfortable while you’re doing it, you’re probably doing it wrong.”
• “If that’s a joke, I love it. If not, can’t wait to unpack that with you later.”
• “I always thought tea was going to taste like hot brown water. And do you know what? I was right.”
• “You know what the happiest animal on earth is? It’s a goldfish. You know why? It’s got a 10-second memory.”
• “This woman is strong, confident, and powerful. Boss, I tell you, I’d hate to see you and Michelle Obama arm wrestle, but I wouldn’t be able take my eyes off of it either.”
• “Sam was more open than the jar of peanut butter on my counter.”
• “You beating yourself up is like Woody Allen playing the clarinet. I don’t want to hear it.”
• “It’s just a group of people who care, Roy. Not unlike folks at a hip-hop concert whose hands are not in the air.”
• “Your body is like day-old rice. If it ain’t warmed up properly, something real bad could happen.”
• “I promise you there is something worse out there than being sad, and that’s being alone and being sad.”
• “There’s two buttons I never like to hit: that’s panic and snooze.”
• “I shouldn’t bring an umbrella to a brainstorm.”
• “Don’t fight back. Fight Forward”
• “He thinks he’s mad now, wait till we win him over. He’ll be furious.”
• “I’m like an incomplete list of Madeline Kahn’s best films. I ain’t got no clue.”
•  “Well, fellas, if you’re looking for a pep talk from me, you’re in trouble. ‘Cause I’m like Michael Flatley at 11:59 p.m. on St. Patrick’s Day, I’m tapped out.”
•  “I’ve had more psychotic episodes than Twin Peaks.”
• “I do love a locker room. It smells like potential.”
• “I’ve never been embarrassed about having streaks in my drawers. You know, it’s all part of growing up.”
• “If the internet has taught us anything, it’s that sometimes it’s easier to speak our minds anonymously.”
• “You two knuckleheads have split our locker room in half. And when it comes to locker rooms, I like ’em just like my mother’s bathing suits. I only wanna see ’em in one piece, you hear?”
• “Here’s an idea that’s gonna help a little or hurt a whole lot. Who needs a drink?”
•  “Well, as my doctor told me when I got addicted to fettuccine Alfredo, that’s a little rich for my blood.”
• “Guys have underestimated me my entire life. And for years, I never understood why. It used to really bother me. But then one day, I was driving my little boy to school, and I saw this quote by Walt Whitman, and it was painted on the wall there. It said, ‘Be curious, not judgmental.’ I like that.”