Batman and Robin (1997)

Batman & Robin Poster

This was my least favorite movie for a long time.  Then Movie 43 came along and took its place, but that does not mean that this travesty is not still one of the worst movies ever created.

Joel Schumacher directed this turd and helped kill the Batman franchise.  After the series had been resurrected by 1989’s Batman, this, the fifth of the series, drove the nails into the coffin.  The only benefit of this is that it forced the WB to put this franchise aside until Christopher Nolan came back to the Dark Knight trilogy.

Again, this is not an excuse for why this sucked so badly.  It is just a fact.

George Clooney took over the Batman suit (fresh with bat nipples) from Val Kilmer.  He was hamstrung by the tone of the film.  The Batman series had been moving back toward the camp that the 1989 Batman left behind.  The Batman from the sixties had its detractors and the image of the character from the comics was very dark.  With the comedic tone and the campiness of the new film, Batman and Robin started in trouble.

Then, things were just went so badly.  Arnold Schwarzenegger as Mr. Freeze was a terrible choice.  Uma Thurman as Poison Ivy?  Alicia Silverstone as Batgirl (who was Alfred’s niece)?  A script that was so crammed full of horrid dialogue and ice puns that you could not stand it.  A Bat credit card (how does that work in the first place?)  Bat ice skates?

The whole Alfred is sick storyline was nothing but a way to force Batgirl into our world.  Chris O’Donnell played Robin as if he needed a slap across the face.

There was product placement galore.  Some of the worst examples of product placement in any movie (maybe better than the Transformers, but.. hey what isn’t?)

Oh… and Bane.  Well, maybe I really don’t have to go into how terrible this version of Bane was.

This version of Batman was too jokey to be taken seriously and too stupid to be funny.  The neon colors are vomit inducing.  The action is poorly filmed and does not make up for the ridiculous script.

These are some actual quotes from Batman and Robin:

“Let’s kick some ice! “- Mr. Freeze

“Tonight, hell freezes over! ” – Mr. Freeze

“Hey, Freeze. The heat is on.” -Batman

“You’re not sending ME to the COOLER!” – Mr. Freeze

“Chicks like you give women a bad name.” -Batgirl

“Let me guess, Plant Girl? Vine Lady? Huh? Hand over the diamond Garden Gal, or I’ll turn you into mulch!” -Mr. Freeze

“It’s the hockey team from hell!”  -Robin

“I hate to disappoint you but my rubber lips are immune to your charms.” -Robin

 

There were actually a bunch more Mr. Freeze lines that could have been included here, but you get the idea.

I’ve talked about this piece of crap for too long already.  If there was any doubt, this one is …

putrescent

Batman & Robin

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s