Fast X

I am not a huge fan of the Fast and the Furious franchise. I don’t hate them totally, but they have always been so stupid. Still, I go with the hope that this would be the one that would break that streak. Spoiler alert: it isn’t.

The Toretto family is being targeted by the villainous and flamboyant Dante (Jason Momoa) for revenge because his father had been killed when Dom (Vin Diesel) dragged the safe across Rio in Fast and Furious 5.

I do like the idea that they dipped back into the continuity of the franchise to create a new villain. It makes sense for the son of this drug dealer who died in the fifth installment to be looking for some justice from the Family. Jason Momoa was absolutely playing this role in a weird, Joker-esce manner. I’m not sure I liked the character choices, but, at least, it was an original take.

The first problem I had with Fast X was that the dialogue of these characters. Real people do not talk like this. The dialogue was so clunky in every scene that did not involve cars flipping and exploding (and yes, there were a few of those).

One of the original action scenes in the film, which take place in Rome, is just so ridiculous that I found myself laughing at it way more than being anxious about it. It was so mind-numbingly dumb that it took away any positives I had for that action beat. It felt more like a parody of itself than anything else.

That was a recurring idea in the movie for me. All of the action scenes were so illogical and implausible that I found myself incapable of suspending disbelief. I know the Fast franchise historically has action that is more cartoony than realistic, but some of this just pulls me out of the movie. At least they are not going into space in their cars as they did in Furious 9.

My absolute favorite part of this movie was John Cena, who returned as Dom’s brother Jakob. While Brian (Leo Abelo Perry) was okay (at best) as Dom’s son, I thought the kid’s chemistry with John Cena was really good and easy my most enjoyable part of the film. Without spoilers though, I thought how this was resolved was one of my least favorite parts of the movie and was way too laughable.

There is a remarkable cast here including Helen Mirren, Rita Moreno, Brie Larson, Jason Statham, Charlize Theron, Scott Eastwood, Pete Davidson along with the other members of the Torreto family (Ludacris, Michelle Rodriguez, Tyrese Gibson, Sung Kang). Most of these actors did not have much to do. Rita Moreno was in the film for two minutes and I think every moment was in trailers.

And this film ended with a massive cliffhanger that came from out of nowhere. That ending made this movie feel very inconsequential overall. The post credit scene though was fun and shocking. No spoilers here, but I did like that.

This was just a stupid action film that had ridiculously poor dialogue, action that at times felt more laughable than exciting, and a story, well…not much of one. Jason Momoa made it around the world to different locations somehow easily, in what felt like mere seconds. He also seemed to know everything that was going to happen and, apparently, had a evil plan that was more convoluted than any comic book movie plan, yet somehow happened perfectly. And that ending… if you want to call it that.

2 stars

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