Holmes and Watson

Image result for holmes and watson movie poster

I wish I knew how to start this review.

It is complete and total sh*t

How about that?

I have never been a fan of Will Ferrell, but every once in awhile he does a film that I do not hate, and I like John C. Reilly quite a bit so he helped elevate the hope.

No…no hope.  This is horrendous.

Ferrell plays legendary Sherlock Holmes and Reilly plays his companion Dr. Watson in a film that might have been meant to be a farce, but failed in every way possible.  The pair has to try to stop the evil Professor Moriarty (Ralph Fiennes) who has challenged them from preventing him from killing Queen Victoria (Pam Ferris) in four days.  These two then bumble around London trying to solve this mystery before the Queen is murdered.

Sherlock Holmes is shown to be a buffoon, loud and obnoxious, as if he were just any other character that Will Farrell ever plays.  Making Holmes an idiot could have worked, I suppose, if Watson was made to be the smart one, but he is every bit as much of an imbecile and Holmes is.

There is no humor in this movie.  Nothing but dick jokes and stupidity that might (and I say MIGHT) appeal to the lowest of lowbrow.  If you giggle every time someone says the word “penis” then you MAY find some of this funny.  If you want more from your humor, well, this is the wrong place to look for it.

The film was a slight 90 minutes, but it felt like it was forever.  And that was despite having the story flying by at a breakneck pace.  There was no time to set up jokes or to allow something to build up because we were on to the next unfunny moment.

The film even completely steals a joke from the Tick animated series.  When Sherlock goes to see his brother Mycroft (Hugh Laurie), Watson is taken to the Companion lounge to wait for him.  This is the exact joke of the Sidekick Lounge from The Tick episode Tick vs. Tick.  The difference is that the Tick episode took some time and milked the laughs out of the premise where in Holmes and Watson, it is nothing more than a sight gag.  If you’re going to steal a joke from someone, you should at least do it justice.

At IMDB, Etan Cohen is listed as sharing writing credit with Arthur Conan Doyle, EYG Hall of Famer.   I am sure that Sir Arthur Conan Doyle is rolling over in his grave being connected to this travesty in any way, let alone as a writer.  Just imagining how this film treats the iconic Sherlock Holmes would fill Doyle with anger and disgust.

I was preparing to give this film 0 stars, but then the film tossed in a musical number with Sherlock and Watson singing and, while completely out of place for the movie, felt reasonably clever, and I did enjoy the song.  It was in the third act and really did not have any sort of consequence to the end of the movie, but it had cute lyrics and was catchy.  And it was not completely horrid as the rest of the film was.

Of course there was a vomit joke, which I absolutely hate, but why not.

The film tossed in plenty of current day allusions (selfies, Trump, women equality) into the 19th Century story.  They were clearly meant to be funny, but they all failed miserably.

There were multiple times that I considered leaving the movie, but I stuck it out until the bitter end.  I actively thought to myself that my bathroom break in the middle of the film was the best part of the movie.  The strong supporting cast (Ralph Fiennes, Steve Coogan, Hugh Laurie, Rebecca Hall, Kelly Macdonald, Noah Jupe) is totally wasted and I had to wonder what exactly Ferrell had on them to get them to be in this painful movie.

Save your money.  Go see Spider-man: Into the Spider-verse, Mary Poppins Returns, Bumblebee or Aquaman.  All are heads and shoulders better than this piece of crap.

0.25 stars

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