The Stuff (1985)

Day: January 13, Movie: 13

This film is destined to be done by RiffTrax. I’m actually surprised that it hasn’t been done yet.

This thing was just unbelievably bad, in just about every aspects of filmmaking. The acting, the special effects, the story, editing… everything.

According to IMDB, “A delicious, mysterious goo that oozes from the earth is marketed as the newest dessert sensation, but the tasty treat rots more than teeth when zombie-like snackers who only want to consume more of the strange substance at any cost begin infesting the world.

This started immediately. An old man found this bubbling white substance coming from the earth and, this guy, as anyone would, thought it was a good idea to taste it. I know that this was the first thought I had. This was just the start of the ridiculousness that was The Stuff.

Michael Moriarty played David, a former FBI agent who became involved in the case. Moriarty was giving the worst accent (or best Benoit Blanc imitation) I have ever heard. The film also featured Garrett Morris, Paul Sorvino and Danny Aiello. Obviously, someone had pictures worthy of blackmail to get these serious actors to participate in this stupid movie.

I believe there was some intention for this to be a satire dealing with the consumerism of the American public, but that does not come past the idiotic story.

There was a scene where Jason (Scott Bloom), a kid who had seen the Stuff moving in his refrigerator one night, and was running from his family who was trying to get him hooked on the substance as well, jumped into a car with total stranger David, who pulled up and yelled at the boy to get in. Jason did not even wonder if this was a good idea. Perhaps there were less dangers back in the 80s.

When I saw Abe Vigoda and Clara Peller (Where’s the Beef?) cameo, it was well past knowing what I was watching.

The thing is… the movie was kind of entertaining because it was so bad. This would be the perfect RiffTrax film. I sure hope they come across it. Meanwhile, this was terrible.

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