Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #93

#93

Generic Blues

Title: Generic Blues

Album: UHF

Release: 1989

Written: Al Yankovic

Style: Blues; typical 12-bar, slow-tempo structure, and harmonica solos.

Another one of those original songs that sneaks under the radar. I do love this song. It is such a funny song with a parody of the style of Blues.

Lyrics

I woke up this morning
Then I went back to bed
Said I woke up this morning
Then I went right back to bed
Got a funny kind of feelin’ like I got broken glass in my underwear
And a herd of wild pigs is trying to chew off my head
You know what I’m sayin’

Well I ain’t got not money
I’m just walkin’ down the road
Said I ain’t got no money, honey
So I’m just walking down this lonely old road
Well, I wish I could get me some money
But I forgot my automated teller code

I was born in a paper sack in the bottom of a sewer
I had to eat dirt clods for breakfast, my family was so poor
My daddy was a waitress, my mama sold bathroom tiles
My brothers and sisters all hated me ’cause I was an only child

I got the blues so bad, woo
Kinda wish I was dead
Maybe I’ll blow my brains out mama
Or maybe I’ll, yeah maybe I’ll just go bowlin’ instead

I’m just a no good, scum sucking, nose picking, boot licking,
Sniveling, groveling, worthless hunk of slime

Nothing but a low-down beer bellied, bone headed, pigeon toed,
Turkey necked, weasel faced, worthless hunk of slime

Guess I pretty low self image
Maybe it’s a chemical imbalance or something, I
I should probably go and see a doctor about it when I’ve got the time
Make it talk
Aw, make it talk, son, make it talk
OK, now make it shut up

Plagues and famine and pestilence always seem to get me down
I always feel so miserable whenever I’m around
I wish somebody would come along, stick a pitchfork through my brain
I’d flush myself right down the toilet, but I’d just clog up the drain

I got the blues so bad
Kinda wish I was dead
Maybe I’ll blow my brains out mama
Or maybe I’ll go bowling
Or I just might go bowling
Maybe I’ll just rent some shoes and go bowling
Maybe I’ll join a league, enter a tournament, put on a stupid looking
Shirt and go bowling instead
Yeah

Source: LyricFind

The Truth

The Truth 

  – By Payton Brown

  I walked into school and saw my friends with a poster in the halls. It looked like a concert was happening because of how many girls were there. It was a volleyball sign up sheet so I decided to sign up. Not knowing what would happen next. The next day that’s when it all happened I was walking into the gym and everyone was warming up. As I put my stuff down, that’s when I hear them “shh” shh” shh” and murmuring. Behind me I feel all their glances at me. I try to ignore it because I tried to feel positive that day. As I am done warming up I start walking towards my friend. She told me that 

“you shouldn’t be playing right you aren’t even good”

 I ran out trying so hard not to cry and embarrassed myself but I couldn’t help it I started crying but as soon as I wipe tears the coach asked me

“What is wrong”

I told her what happen and she said  

“You cant let them get  to you,you are here to play volleyball and here to get that off your chest”

But I don’t know how I’m going to play 

“I’m just so upset”

But she made me get up and practice as I got up to walk in to practice we did leg/arm stretches. Then I had to get a partner. We bumped it back and forth then setted. As we finished up, we got in three lines and I fell on my knees  and became the laughing stock.  the coach told everyone to keep practicing and helped me up and made sure I was okay the practice that day was horrible 

The following week and a lot more happened. We have a game coming up and the whole school already hates me. But the coach’s words kept playing in my head. I knew I had to keep moving past it. But as we are on the bus a girl who I played with came up to me and asked

“Hey, I know we don’t talk much but why are you sitting by yourself”

“I dont know I’m not really friends with anyone here dont I play with you on the court” 

“ yeah I play setting, Sofia is my name but I’d love to be your friend”

 “The setter? Oh yeah the setter my name is Payton and yeah we can be friends”  

She sat next to me the rest of the time  and talked to me but I didn’t know if I was supposed  to feel happy that there was a girl that actually felt genuine and actually wanted to be my friend . I really didn’t know what I was feeling. I was happy I had a friend. I was scared of the game and I was sad because really no one likes me. As we get to game and were putting are stuff on I hear the girls talking about me but I walked away a little upset because I knew exactly what they were talking about I get on the court and I remember everything that made me even more mad and upset and I actually play a lot better than I thought and I could hear everyone whispering but this time in a good way the coach started putting me on the court a lot more I said 

“Thank you coach” 

“Why you thanking me that was all you” 

“No I wouldn’t of even been play if you didn’t talk to me that day”

“Oh no problem, you get up your good work ” 

As we were on the bus back home the girl who was my friend came up to me and said.

“Hey, you did good out there and I am sorry for what I said.”

But I didn’t know what I wanted to say but words just started coming out of my mouth

“Thanks but you are not sorry because if you were you wouldn’t have said it.”

Then I went to another seat. I finally felt like I was good at something I mean I was. 

As I walked home my mom met me at the door and I was in the newspaper and I felt like everyone liked me. I didn’t just feel like a nobody. I walked into school and everyone was by me and asking  me how I did it but I had no comment but the truth is I would rather go back to having no one like me because I knew who my real friend was.