Author Archives: Doc

Life of the Party

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Image result for life of the party movie poster

Melissa McCarthy is extremely funny, but unfortunately, her movies tend to be up or down.  She has not found a consistent format to translate her humor to the big screen.  Some of her films are just really funny (Spy, The Heat) and some are just terrible (The Boss, Tammy).  Life of the Party falls somewhere in-between.

McCarthy plays Deanna, the mother of Maddie (Molly Gordon)-a senior at college, who is just beginning her senior year.  It was as they were dropping Maddie off at school that Deanna’s husband Dan (Matt Walsh) decides to ask for a divorce.

Crushed, Deanna decides to go back to college, something she gave up on when she married Dan, to complete her degree in archeology.   And Deanna goes back to her alma mater, the same college where her daughter goes.

There was a lot of things that I liked about this film.  I thought Melissa McCarthy was great and I really did like her character Deanna.  The film creates a group of supportive friends for Deanna that actually happen to be Maddie’s friends, which is weird, but works very well.  Several of these characters are funny, especially Helen (Gillian Jacobs) who had spent 8 years in a coma.

There was an interesting relationship formed by Deanna with a young, hunky college student named Jack (Luke Benward) which I thought was interesting.  McCarthy and Benward were good together and made their scenes feel real.

I also thought much of the film was pretty funny and I laughed several times.  For most of the movie, I had a smile on my face and I have said before that if a comedy is funny, it helps cover some of the other flaws that it may have.

And the film does have its share of flaws.  First, there is not really a story here.  I mean, there are what feels like a series of sketches where we throw Deanna and her friends into situations to see what happens, but there is not much of a through line to maintain these scenes and even less of a challenge for Deanna to overcome.

There are some ridiculous moments in the film that just feel too forced.  There is too much focus on the slapstick of the scenes instead of creating the humor in natural ways.

Maya Rudolph played Deanna’s best friend Christine and she was way over-the-top most of the time.  I did truly enjoy her relationship with her husband Frank (Damon Jones) though as it was a running joke that felt like it paid off each time.

The special cameo at the end was probably my least favorite part of the whole film and it felt as if it was in danger of going off the rails.

However, I do think I laughed more than I cringed and I did think much of the film was good hearted so I am giving this one a pass.  If you are a fan of Melissa McCarthy, this one should entertain you.  If you don’t like her shtick, then this will not convert you despite it being better than many.

3.1 stars

Breaking In

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Happy Mother’s Day.

In honor of Mother’s Day, we have a film about a mother protecting her children from a home invasion.

You can take your mom to this movie for Mother’s Day… or you can take her to a better one.

Gabrielle Union played Shaun, a mother of two and her estranged father has just recently passed away which led her to taking her kids to his home, where she grew up, to prepare to sell it.  However, four men are there as well, searching for something that her father had hidden away inside this house that is like a fortress.  Shaun winds up locked out of the house while her children were trapped inside with the robbers.  And so she had to try to break in.

There were some interesting potential ideas here, but none of them were expanded upon and, in its place, was simply a paint-by-the-number thriller with nothing that much thrilling going on.

The film hinted at Shaun’s father being involved in some kind of criminal enterprise, but we have no idea what that might be or if that is the reason why Shaun and her father were estranged.  The film hinted at Shaun having a bad childhood in the house, but does not go into more detail on it.  The film keeps saying that these crooks broke into the wrong house, but it wants you to think about Shaun as a typical mother despite consistently calling her an “exceptional woman.”

Any of these bits could have made the film more interesting.  Still, it basically comes down to the typical story.

None of the villains were interesting at all. The leader of the group was Billy Burke, and his character was after this item for reasons.  The rest of the group was as stereotypical as you could get with these type of characters.  None of them are memorable, even in the slightest bit.  That is, of course, because we have no idea what their motivations are, how they were connected to her father etc.

I liked Gabrielle Union here and I appreciated her being front and center as the main protagonist.  She did not need anyone to rescue her and, in fact, when her husband (who appears late in the film without any introduction) arrives, he gets slapped down quickly.  Heck, even the children get more to do that this guy.

Breaking In feels like it had a premise that could have been solid, but it squandered it completely.  Gabrielle Union is fine here, but the villains are forgetful and the stakes are low.  The film sets up lots of potentially intriguing bits that never pay off.  It is basically a cable TV movie at best.

Happy Mother’s Day

2.4 stars

Days of Future Schmoedown, Part 5

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Part 5:  The Sword of Crushing

Boy, this has been one rotten day.

When we reformed the Four Horsemen of the Schmoedown and headed over with our Horsemen army to demand that Finstock release the grip on the Movie Trivia Schmoedown, I had no idea that I would wind up as, perhaps, the sole survivor of our group and taken away by the poltergeist version of mark Reilly to a strange, possibly magical white cave.

It was a confusing time in my life.  This was way worse than the first time I joined the Horsemen.

“Hell-oooo,” I said, as the echo cascaded through the cavernous landscape.  “Anyone here?  Growl, growl?”

Growl, growl, the echo restated.

“Huh, now what?”

As if on cue, the Mark Reilly ghost reappeared in the cave, floating about the ground.

“Ah good,” I said, “I was hoping you would come back.  Question.  Are you a Force ghost Reilly or a Casper the Friendly Ghost Reilly?”

“Beast, you must be prepared for what is next,” groaned the spirit.

“Prepared?  Yes, that would have been a good idea.  Say… how long has Ken Napzok been able to use the dark side of the Force like the Emperor and how long has Donica been able to use slices from the wheel like ninja stars?”

“Are either of those important?  Do we need to waste time on revealing unimportant back stories?”

“I’m just sayin’, someone will be complaining about plot holes,” I said.  “You know what the Internet is like.”

“You are here, William Bibbiani, to be the Beast once more.  Only you can put what is wrong, right again.”

“How am I supposed to do that?” I asked as Reilly caught my interest.

“Everything went wrong in the past… and that is where the fix needs to go.”

“Time travel?  That never works right,” I said.

“And yet, it is the only hope.  The Schmoedown will never survive the slaughter that Finstock committed.  He over-estimated his ability to get away with his evil plans.  When he had android Reilly kill your partner, Seibold…”

“Wait…Whitney’s dead?”

“Yes, do you think he just deserted you?  Once, at the time, Tom Dagnino got away with that, the power went to his head.  However, the slaughter at Collider could not be covered and would result in his jailing.”

“Yay!” I said.

“For the murder of most of your group of Horsemen,” Reilly continued.

“Oh… yeah…not yay.”

“The scandal would forever taint the brand of the Schmoedown, ending it once and for all.”

“Dark,” I said.  “So what do I do?”

“I have brought you to the Cave of Light so you can stand before the judgment.  She will determine if you truly are the one to save the Schmoedown,” said Reilly.

“Her?  Her who?”

“It is I, William Bibbiani,” said the female voice.  The cave filled with an illumination unlike anything I have ever seen.  The brightness forced me to turn my remaining eye away in hopes of preventing any further damage.  I knew immediately whose voice was speaking.

“Rachel Cushing?”

“Yes, Beast, it is I.  I have watched with great sadness as the Schmoedown collapsed around Tom Dagnino, and how the heroes tried to stage a return.  I grieve for my fellow Fyffe Club members.”

“What can I do?” I asked.

Rachel held out her hand, and slammed her second hand into it, rubbing them together.  She was still “The Crusher.”

“That really is your gimmick,” I said.

But she was not finished.  Pulling her hands apart, a silver bladed sword formed between her hands.

“This is the Sword of Crushing,” she said, “and if you are the one to help try to save the Schmoedown, you will be able to wield this weapon.  If not, it will disintegrate in your hands.”

“Ah, no pressure.”

I reached out to take the sword from the hands of the glowing beacon of goodness that was Rachel Cushing and I had only one thought… growl, growl.

The sword was in my hand!

“Excellent!” she said.  “Now, you must prepare yourself for the training.”

“Training?”

Three Years Later

“You are ready, Beast, to head to the past and save the Schmoedown,” said Rachel.

“I should hope so.  Been here a long time.  Look at the grey in my hair.  I look like Reed Richards,” I said.

“Time does not matter here.  A minute is like a year.”

“Yeah, I got it,” I said.

“Sadly, there is only limited amount of power from the Sword of Crushing in the real world.  Once it is done, you will be pulled back here.”

“I understand.”

“Do you remember the plan?”

“Yes, Crusher, I do,” I said, yelling out for ghost Reilly.  Once he appeared before me, I held out the sword and his essence was sucked into the blade.

“Good luck, Beast.  My time be with you.”

I plunged the sword into the ground at my feet and the white smoke billowed around me.  Suddenly, I arrived at the Collider studios with a whoosh.  This was my first stop.

In the back room, the dead body of Mark Reilly had been covered.  When I burst from his chest, they waited until after taping was done to call anyone.  I know… kind of dark for these guys.  But it gave me a chance. Removing the cover, I plunged the Sword of Crushing into the wound in Mark Reilly’s chest.  The essence from the sword came from the blade, back into the corpse of the former Movie Trivia Champion.

“***Cough…cough***”

Reilly sat up quickly, gasping for air and coughing up junk from his lungs (probably remnants of my alien form).  Before he realized that I had a sword in his chest, I pulled it free and hid behind the couch.

“Ugh… that’s the last time I eat across the street,” said Reilly.

One down.  One to go.  I plunge the Sword of Crushing into the ground again and I am tossed through time and space in a puff of smoke, landing directly within an interview segment of the Lion’s Den with Jenn Sterger.

“Aaahhh,” I yelled, landing in their segment.

“Oh, no, this blowhard,” said Dagnino.

“Oh God, oh God,” I said.  “Wait…what day is it…Jeff…Jeff…have you had your contender’s match?

“That’s sharp,” said Jenn, as I was waving about the Sword of Cushing.

“No…no.. we have…I haven’t played yet,” said Sneider.  I was doing my best not to picture the man who had been so corrupted that he ditched his long time partner and allowed Dagnino to turn him into an evil puppet.

“Then it’s not too late,” I said, trying to gather my breath.  The time travel had taken a toll on my body.  “I have come from the future to save the Schmoedown.  If I don’t use my contenders spot to take you on, everyone in the Schmoedown is going to die!”

“So it’s up to…ha…me to save everybody?” giggled Sneider.

“Well, it’s up to US, man.  It’s up to you… and an earlier version of me… before the gray hair, before the Horsemen reassembled, before everyone else died, before I got…”

“Bibbs”

“the Sword of Crushing.”

“Bibbs!” Sneider interrupted.  “Beast, say no more, I’m in.  I want you.  That desk, right there.”  Sneider pointed to the Schmoedown set.

“Then the future is saved!  The future is saved!” I said, feeling the Sword of Cushing pulling me back, it’s energy level nearly depleted.  “Oh, one last thing…don’t let Dagnino get that j………………..aaaaaaaaahhhhhhh”

“Uh, well, we do accept the match,” said Dagnino, “but what we don’t accept is the drugs he’s on.”

The Lion’s Den departed.

I found myself back to the Cave of Light.  Rachel was there to greet me.

“You’ve done it, Beast.  The future has been saved.”

“What happens to me now?” I asked.

“Your timeline is gone, so now you must remain here in the Land of Light.  There was always going to be a sacrifice.”

“I guess…growl, growl.”

I looked around at my new home and a thought came me.

“Say, do I beat Sneider in that number one contender’s match?”

“My dear Beast… that would be a SPOILER.”

THE END

Growl, growl

jenn

 

 

 

Days of Future Schmoedown, Part 4

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Part 4: A Dark Turn

A Dark Turn.png

“Where am I?  Growl, growl?”  The shiny white cavern seemed almost too bright for my one good eye.  I picked myself up off the ground, brushed the dust and rubbed the blood from my new Horsemen shirt, and wondered exactly how things went so wrong.

What a day.  As of right now, I have no idea where I am, but that mystery pales in comparison to what happened earlier today.

After we reformed the Four Horsemen with Team Top 10, JTE and myself, we started planning our return to the Collider studios.  We knew there would be a taping later that day and so we thought a show of strength would announce our return and hopefully bring about order to the chaos that had consumed the Schmoedown.

Rocha was on the phone for even more backup.  He contacted Kristian for his help.  Despite the force that the Horsemen was, we knew we needed a person in power, someone the Internet community knew and respected to put this back on track.

Before we knew it, we had a crew of all-star faces to help storm Collider.  Samm Levine, Drew McWeeny, Clarke Wolfe, The Wildberries, Mike Kalinowski, Jason Inman, Marc Andreyko, Emma Fyffe, and even…”Dangerous” Dan Murrell, ou of Schmoedown retirement, over from Screen Junkies.

“Where’s Ellis?” Rocha asked, turning to Kristian.

“He’s currently on a flight on his way to Des Moines,” the former Commissioner said.

“What about Rachel?” asked Andreyko.

“I couldn’t get in touch with her,” said Emma, Rachel’s manager in the Fyffe Club.  “I hope she will get my message and meet us there.”

“Now,” said Rocha, stepping above the crowd.  He is in his element here.  “We have some of the best players in Schmoedown history here, and with our combined might, even Finstock will not be able to ignore us.”

“I’ve known Tom.. or Bob… or whatever he is calling himself now… for a long time,” said Kristian, “and he may be a moron, but he knows a good thing when he sees it.  I think we can absolutely work this out.”

“What if we can’t?” I asked, tipping the black cowboy hat.

“Then, we make it work,” said Rocha.

Our Horsemen army made their way over to Collider and we regrouped in the parking lot.  We could see the Kingsmen standing guard outside the studio doors.

“New guys,” I said, with a snicker.

“Out of my way,” said Macuga, pulling out a beer bong and a Coors Light, “this is why I am here.  Wildberries!”

Macuga and Elliot Dewberry proceeded to move toward the door and in short order, the Kingsmen had succumb to the barrage of alcohol that the Wildberries seem to thrive upon.

“Good job, Macuga,” said Kristian.  “Let’s go.”

With our confidence sky high, we were sure that when confronted by all of us, Tom Dagnino and his crew would understand reason.

Boy, were we wrong.

They were in the middle of a championship match between Sneider and Andrew Ghai when we came through the curtains.

“What are you doing here?” exclaimed Ghai.  When he spotted Rocha, he said, “Dad?”

“We need to speak to Finstock,” said Kristian, but as he was saying it, Finstock had sneaked from the shadows and grabbed Sneider, immediately taking him to the control room.  “Tom, this is over.  Your little power play needs to come to an end.  We need to save the Schmoedown.”

“Growl, growl,” I said.

The sparse audience had scattered leaving Ben Bateman alone in the crowd.  Though we seemed to have the advantage in numbers, there was a bad feeling in my stomach.  This was not going to go as we had envisioned.

“Dad?” Ghai said, rushing toward Rocha once again.  The famous tackle had shaken Rocha once, and it looked like he was about to get caught again.  However, Dan Murrell was suddenly there.

“Look out, John,” Dan said, heroically stepping in front of the rampaging Ghai.  The spear drilled into Dan’s chest, knocking him backwards and striking his baseball cap adorned head into one of the cameras.  Dan slumped to the floor in a lump.  Ghai got up with a sick smile on his face.

“Look, I killed Murrell,” he said, almost with a lilt in his voice.

“What are you doing?” Rocha exclaimed, rushing to the side of the fallen Screen Junkie.  The rest of us were shocked at the immediate violent response from the handsome, but unbalanced member of Team Action.

“Listen, Old Man Rocha, your days are over.  This is a new breed in the Schmoedown,” said Bateman.  “We are the ones running the show now.”

“The Boss is right,” said Finstock, booming his voice over the speaker system from the safety of the control room.  “You made a big mistake coming here.  Ken. Yodi.  Mark. Show them.”

From the shadows of the studio stepped Ken Napzok, dressed in full brown Jedi robe, his hood hiding his visage, the Star Wars Championship belt around his waist.

“When did you get that back?” asked Kristian.

“Took it off of Witwer’s dead body.  It is so great to fully embrace the Dark Side,” Ken said.

“I think someone has had too many trips to 7-11,” I said.

Ken reached back and beams of dark energy flew from his hands, striking Kristian, driving him back into the set.  The group started to scatter, but that was when we saw Mark Reilly come through the curtain.  The same Mark Reilly who I unintentionally killed by bursting out of his chest.

Mark Reilly, heroic champion of the Schmoedown, levitated off the ground.  Before we knew it, Mark Reilly revealed himself as an android.  Weapons sprang from his shoulders and arms sending an assault of bullets towards us.  The red glow in Reilly’s eyes brought to mind the Terminator.

As if this was not enough, Mark Donica arrived, grasping the Wheel in his hand.  Spinning it rapidly, Movie slices started flying from the wheel like knives in a circus act.  I knew how dangerous these pieces could be, and I ducked behind the desk, in search of whatever shelter I could find.

What at once seemed like an army of faces were being mowed down easily by this trio of evil.  As I was trying to think of what to do, I saw Rocha stumble over beside me, dropping to the ground.

“Rocha, what are we going to do?” I asked.  It was then that I saw a Wheel slice, JANE FONDA MOVIES, protruding from his back.  John’s breathing was slowing and his eyes fluttered.  I supported his head as blood trickled from his lip.

“It’s….. up…to… you… Beast,” Rocha said, as if each word was being ripped from his throat.  He held up the four fingers for a mere moment, before his arm dropped to his side, motionless.  He was gone.

I slowly lay the Outlaw’s head back down on the ground, taking off the black hat that I had been wearing since he had given it to me as a peace offering.  I placed it atop of his face.

I did not have time to mourn any of the fallen friends and colleagues around me, because I needed to find a way out of here.  I felt the need to scream and yell and do something crazy, but I held that in.  That would not be successful.

“Beast…”

The soft whisper felt like a scream, but I was not sure where it had come from.  The studio was a war zone with wounded and dying all around me.

“Beast…”

Who could that be.  It was as if the voice was inside my head, which shouldn’t have been surprising considering all of the weirdness that had gone on today.

“Beast…”

“What?” I said, finally, frustrated with the situation.

“This way.”

I don’t know how I knew, but I followed the voice from my hiding place behind the desk through the curtains.  I am not sure how I got through without one of the crazy Lion’s Den killers seeing me, but I did. Suddenly, I found myself in the darkness of a nearby closet.

“Okay, I’m here, strange disembodied voice.  What do you want.”

That was when the voice manifested in front of me into a spectral spirit, floating in the air before my eyes, a glow cutting through the darkness of the closet.  There he was.  The ghost of Mark Reilly.

“Oh,” I said.  “Hey.  Sorry about killing you.  Did you know that you’re a vicious killing android now?”

“Only you, Beast, can save the Schmoedown.  In order to do that, you have to start your journey in a very special place.”

“Where?”

The ghost of Mark Reilly lurched at me, covering my body in his ectoplasmic residue.  My scream rivaled that of Peter Venkman from the Ghostbusters film.  Believe me.

And then I disappeared.

To Be Concluded.

Part Five: The Sword of Crushing

Days of Future Schmoedown, Part 3

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Part Three:  The Rise of the Horsemen

Horsemen

We need 2 meet.  My place. Outlaw

The text message was unexpected.  The acrimony between “The Outlaw” John Rocha and myself has been well documented.  The betrayal was one of the big moments of the past, but I was definitely curious.

I had been avoiding the Collider studios basically since the accident with the wheel (CURSE YOU, FESTIVAL DARLINGS!!!).  I heard that the place has descended into chaos since the re-arrival of Finstock.  The good guys of the Schmoedown were trying to keep their heads down while the group of villains, the Lion’s Den, Team Action, The Kingsmen, dominated the scene, by any means necessary.  Seeing the once proud program turning into the $64,000 Question was sad to think about…so, I tried not too.

But, heck, I was curious to hear what Rocha had to say… growl, growl… I decided to meet with him.

I arrived at Rocha’s place early and saw that I was not alone.  Matt Knost, Rocha’s comrade in Team Top 10 was there as well.

“Bibs,” said Rocha, his typical black cowboy hat placed upon his head in Outlaw style.  “Good to see you.”

Rocha extended his hand as if he wanted to shake it.

“Growl, growl,” I said, still not trusting him.  Our relationship was cantankerous to say the least.  I was never a fan of the way he treated me when I was a member of the 4 Horsemen and he did not appreciate my betraying him.

“I get it.  I get it.  We have had our troubles,” Rocha said.  “But you know that I always came at you face to face.  Straight shooter!  Like a man.  Not like what has happened to the Schmoedown since that idiot Finstock has taken over.”

“We thought before was a problem, but it isn’t even real now.  It is full WWE mode now,” said Knost.

“You lost an eye.  I work there every day… you don’t know what it is like.  He makes us all wear those stupid beard masks on every video we make,” said Rocha.  “Kristian is gone.  Ellis is performing at a comedy club in Pomona.  The Fyffe Club hasn’t been booked for weeks.  I haven’t seen Rachel in weeks.  Someone has to save the Schmoedown.”

“What exactly are you saying?”

Rocha stuck up four fingers.  Knost followed suit.

“It’s time to save the Schmoedown.  It’s time for the Horsemen to ride again.  We need you Beast.  Join us and together we can put things right again.”

Rocha was always a good talker, so full of passion.

“I don’t know Rocha,” I said.  “How am I supposed to believe that this time will be any different than the last time?”

Rocha nodded.  He seemed to understand what I was asking.  He had made the face turn, but I never really believed it.  Not until he made the ultimate offer.

“Here,” The Outlaw said, removing his black hat and handing it to me.

My jaw dropped.  I couldn’t believe what was happening.  I had wanted that hat.  It represented the character of the Outlaw and here was John Rocha willingly giving it up to me.  I took it from him with an unapologetic quivering hand and placed the hat on my head.  Oh, it felt so good.

“Growl, growl?” Rocha said.

“You said it!” I replied.  “But there is still only three of us.  Will there be a fourth Horseman?”

“Of course,” said another voice from the other room.  JTE walked in, four fingers extended on his right hand.

I had hope for the first time in quite a while.

Unfortunately, it was short lived.

To Be Continued

Part 4:  A Dark Turn

 

Days of Future Schmoedown, Part 2

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insneider.png

Part Two:  Things Get Worse

The Schmoedown degenerated quickly, but we were all too close to see it happening. That is, until it was too late.  Kristian came to see me after the removal of JTE from the Patriots.

“Bibs,” said Harloff, “I need to talk to you.”

“Growl, growl,” I said, never out of character.

“Listen, I’m worried about this Dagnino thing.  I’m nervous about exactly what he may be planning.”

Looking back, I wish I would have taken Kristian more seriously because he was the only one who was truly on track.

“I want you to face Sneider in his number one contender match.  I think you are the one to save the Schmoedown.”

“Save the Schmoedown,” I joked.  “That would make a great hashtag.”

Taking a deep, calming breath, Kristian continued, “Nonetheless, Dagnino and the Lion’s Den are a serious threat to the Schmoedown.  Once he gets a taste of power…”

“Too late, Harloff.”

Tom Dagnino slithered into the room with Team Action, Ben Bateman and Andrew Ghai, following behind him closely.

“Your days of making decisions are thru,” said Dagnino.

“You’re an idiot,” said Harloff.

“Sorry, Beast, but I’ve already scheduled you for a match.  Critically Acclaimed will be going against Team Action…so you are unavailable for a number one contenders match.”

Again, with hindsight, I shouldn’t have been so quick to accept this match.  It would change my life forever.

“Growl, growl,” I said, looking at the smarmy Team Action.  They were uncharacteristically quiet.  It became clear immediately that Team Action knew there were bombshells left to detonate.

“I have scheduled you and your little buddy Ellis for your one-on-one match,” Dagnino boasted.

“We agreed to have a match if we reached 2500 patrons.  We just reached 2100 yesterday,” said Kristian.  “What’re trying to pull?”

“We’re at 2500,” said Dagnino.  “You can check with Brianne if you don’t believe me.”

“That’s not possible,” said Kristian.

“I know some people down in San Diego… I reached out to them.  And then I called Frank.  Stallone.  He owed me a favor.”

Kristian glared at Dagnino with a nervousness.  He could feel there was more to this.

“And…since I am Commissioner during this match…I’m setting a stipulation to that match.  Loser of that match will have to leave the Schmoedown for a year.”

“You can’t do that,” Kristian said.

“I believe I can.  I remember it happening before,” said Dagnino

Dagnino’s bright used car salesman smile defined his position.  He was in control and he knew it.

“OH, and Sneider will face Josh Macuga in that number one contender match and when Sneider wins, not only will he be number one contender, but I will be made the permanent commissioner.”

My blood ran cold.

Image result for jeff sneiderEverything went downhill from there.  Josh Macuga did his best, but someone had plied him with liquor, which only made him yell “Wildberries” more.  Sneider won.  Macuga sold some t-shirts.  Dagnino became the official commissioner.  Thadd Williams joined up with Dagnino as his personal lackey.

The Harloff-Ellis matchup did not take place.  Both of the Schmoes refused to participate in the match and Dagnino suspended them both.

With Dagnino and Ken Napzok at the desk, Jeff Sneider became the new Schmoedown Movie Trivia Champion by defeating Samm Levine in a match that set the YouTube comment boards on fire.  Cries of “fixed” were all over social media as the contest was anything but fair.

Dagnino did not care.

In my own match with Team Action, my partner Whitney Seibold no showed.  I have not seen him since.  I was forced into a handicap match.  It had happened once before with Rachel Cushing and I felt for her then.

Unfortunately, I did not get to finish mine.

As I spun the wheel in round two, one of the slices from the wheel, Festival Darlings ironically, flew from the wheel and was embedded in my left eye (though I do look like a cool pirate with my new eye patch, growl, growl).

But worst of all, Dagnino started showing up less and less, and he was being replaced by….

Image result for finstock schmoedown

 

To be continued:

Part Three:  Rise of the Horsemen

Days of Future Schmoedowns, Part 1

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schmoedown Future

Never in my wildest imagination did I believe that my life and the lives of all of us in the Collider orbit would be so drastically and tragically affected by five simple words.

“Let’s get ready to Schmoedown!”

Okay. Maybe ‘Schmoedown’ is not a simple word, but if you would have told me that it would lead to me, online critic William Bibbiani, traveling through time in an attempt to put right what had gone wrong, then I would have said you were crazy.  At least, somewhat off-balanced.

As “The Beast,” I am familiar with the term.  Schmoedown was a movie trivia competition that was all the rage on YouTube and at Collider Video and I was a proud competitor.  Everything seemed to be moving in a successful direction for all…until… everything came off the rails.

And it was my fault.

Growl, growl.

Everything started on the night I battled “The Godfather” Drew McWeeny.  He’s kind of scary…have you ever seen that guy?  So I decided that my typical grand entrances would not be sufficient.  I needed to pop out there.  Long story short… I exploded through the chest of former champion Mark Reilly, who was at the desk, accidentally killing him.  It didn’t help either since I lost to McWeeny anyway.  A few weeks later, Reilly was back, nary a scratch.  He made a reference to his Superman coat, saying that heroes always come back.

I did not know that the answer was more sinister than that.

Growl, growl.

Let me fast forward through this vital, yet impractical exposition to the night where everything turned.  It was a title fight for the team championships between the Patriots, Jeff “The Insneider” Sneider and “Little Evil” JTE and Above the Line, the aforementioned “Godfather” Drew McWeeny and the Movie Trivia Schmoedown Champion of the Wooooooooooooooooooorld, “The Inglorious One” Samm Levine.

This is the kind of match that I loved watching from the crowd and the entire studio was buzzing with anticipation.  The previous classic match-up between the teams found the Patriots pulling off a one point victory.  The rematch was intense.

Right up to the 5-point question in round five, the outcome was fully in doubt.  Kristian Harloff and Mark Ellis, collectively known as the Schmoes, the creators of this game, were at the announce desk and had built the tension through their unique brand of one liners and comedy.

“So here is the situation,” said Harloff, the former commissioner, whose power and authority had been usurped  by Thadd Williams.  “The score is tied.  The Patriots have their five point question.  If they get this right, they have once again defended their team titles and remain undefeated.  If they miss, we go into sudden death.”

Nervous whispers filled the crowd.  I have been jotting down notes in my handy notebook.  You never know when something might come in handy.  Growl, growl.

“You chose question number 13… and that is,”Harloff paused for dramatic effect, “Sly & Arnie.”

A groan crossed the crowd.  John Rocha yelled out an obscenity.  The Patriots’ cohorts in the Lion’s Den, Ken Napzok and Mark Danica, high-fived each other.  They all knew this was a strength of the Patriots, especially JTE, who was practically beaming brighter than the stage lights.

“In what film does Stallone say the quote, ‘I am the law?’”

Rocha nearly flipped his chair over.  “You call that a five point question?” he exclaimed, ready to burst.  And then it happened.

“That’s easy.  It is Demolition Man,” said JTE, without a second thought.

“No, wait…” screamed Sneider, stumbling over his words.

“That is incorrect,” said Ellis.  “The answer we were looking for was Judge Dredd.”

“And with that…we have sudden death!”

JTE had both hands plastered on his baseball cap, expressing the shock and shame over the quick answer.  He couldn’t believe what he had done.  Sneider bit through his remaining toothpick.  The crowd was shell-shocked, but not nearly as much as JTE was.  He has been an arrogant jerk ever since winning that team title, but even I felt a twinge of sorrow for him.  He had blown it.

Sudden death rules were explained.  Ellis detailed how this round would be much like the first round and each individual would write down the answer on their dry erase board and they would continue asking questions until one team had more points than the other.

“If everyone is ready, here we go with sudden death!” said Harloff.  I looked over to JTE.  He was gone.  The look on his face was one of total failure.  The thought in my head was the same thought that we all were thinking.  This is it.  After a year and a half title reign, the Patriots are finally going to be defeated.

“The category is…New Releases,” said Harloff. “In 2018’s Tully, who played Charlize Theron’s brother, Craig?”

Silence.  You could cut the tension with a chainsaw.  Samm Levine’s face is crumpled.  He clearly had not seen it yet.  Who had?

“5…4…3…2…1,” said Harloff.  “Sneider?”

“Mark Duplass,” he replied.

“JTE?” said Harloff, not revealing whether or not anyone was correct.  Damn that Harloff, trying to keep us all so tense.

“I don’t know,” JTE said showing his blank dry erase board.  Oooooohs filled the studio.

“Samm?”

“I didn’t see this either,” dropping the board down on the table.

“Drew?” asked Harloff.

“Ron Livingston?” he said, uncertain.

“AND YOUR WINNERS….” Screamed the golden throat of Kristian Harloff, “AND… STILL… MOVIE TRIVIA  TEAM CHAMPIONS OF THE WORLD!!! THE PATRIOTS!!!!”

Boos came from everywhere as Ken and Donica stormed the stage to congratulate the still champs.  Jay Washington turned to me and said, “Man, who’s ever gonna beat those two?”

The crowd was so hectic that we had not seen “Miss Movies” Brianne Chandler make her way out to the stage with a microphone in hand.  Something was up.  Calling for attention, Miss Movies quickly quieted the crowd.

“I have a special announcement to make.  The Patron has officially passed 2100 subscribers… and that means that we have a new Commissioner for a week… Tom Dagino!”

If you thought the boos were bad before, knowing that Tom Dagnino, the buffoon in charge of the Lion’s Den, was now going to get his dirty hands on the Schmoedown… well, I got that feeling in the pit of my stomach.  Little did I know how this would turn out.

Taking the microphone, Tom said, “Thank you.  Thank you.” Harloff was calling him an idiot, but nobody was ready for what he was going to do next.

“As my first official act as Commissioner, I am removing JTE from the Patriots.”

“What?” JTE exclaimed, still clutching to his team title.  Sneider snatched the belt greedily from his shoulder.

“You nearly cost us this title!” Sneider yelled, pointing his finger directly at JTE.  “How many times do I have to cover for you?  You can’t pronounce anything.  You drop words.  You can’t spell! Japeto?   We have been champions this long, despite you.  I’m tired of carrying you.  You’re out of here.”

“You can’t do this,” JTE said, lacking the normal bravado of “Little Evil.”

“Oh, we can,” said Dagnino.  “And we did.  And I have your replacement in the NEW Patriots.  Ladies and gentlemen… Mark Reilly.”

“No!” cried out Harloff, standing to his feet.  Mark Reilly walked out from behind the curtain with his normal Superman black leather jacket.  He slowly unzipped the coat and threw it to the ground revealing his Lion’s Den shirt.  The Lion’s Den members started to laugh as JTE slouched back in his chair.  Sneider handed the team title to Reilly.

I have never seen the Schmoedown descend into chaos quicker than that moment.  Harloff was screaming in Reilly’s face about betrayal and he demanded an explanation, but Reilly had nothing to say, completely ignoring him.

“Why, Reilly, Why?” a lone voice called out through the echoing chorus of boos from the back stage area and the crowd.  Sadly, we would not get any answers on that night.

“And this is just the beginning!” Dagnino said ominously, laughing wickedly.  He wasn’t exaggerating.

To Be Continued

Growl, growl.

 

 

 

Tully

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Motherhood never had it so good.

Charlize Theron stars as Marlo, a mother of two who is now very pregnant with her third child and is having the pressures and the constant barrage of parenting weighing down upon her.  Her husband Drew (Ron Livingston) seems like a good guy, but he is busy with a new job and does not have the time to help.  So Marlo’s wealthy brother (Mark Duplass) provides an option.  A night nurse, who will come to the house and take care of the baby, allowing Marlo to get some much needed rest.  Despite being resistant to the idea at first, Marlo comes around after an exceedingly difficult day.  And so, we meet the free-spirited Tully (Mackenzie Davis).

Theron and David show great chemistry right off the bat and the pair of them carry the movie with their interactions and their dialogue.  You can see how much of an effect that Tully has had on Marlo as she appears to be getting along considerably better than she was.

I have to say, the ending, which I had considered early on in the film as a possibility, is an ending that I am not sure how I feel about.  Without spoiling it, I do not necessarily think they needed to go in this direction.  It does not ruin the film, but I am not sure it was needed.  It is definitely an interesting idea that was hinted at as the film moved along, so it is not as if it just came out of nowhere.  I can see people being torn between this ending.

This film is listed as a comedy from Academy Award (R)-nominated director Jason Reitman (Juno, Up in the Air), but I am not certain this is a comedy.  If it is, it falls more into the dramedy type films similar to what Judd Apatow might make.  The humor come more from the writing and the dialogue than the situation.  That does not make it bad, by any stretch.

Tully provides a real look at the difficulties of motherhood, especially facing a family with a limited budget, a special needs child whose behavior needs more than they can give, and a newborn.  Theron plays this brilliantly, showing the frustration and the anxiety of the situation.  She looks like she has been through the wringer, tired, beaten and depressed.  She is also able to project the joys that come from just sitting and watching your child sleep.  These quiet moments are very strong in Tully.

There is a clear charm to this film and I like some of the ideas that it raises.  I am not sure I liked the ending but I do appreciate the effort to do something original.  Charlize Theron and Mackenzie Davis are the main reasons to see this movie as both give wonderful performances.

My guess is this will resonate even more with the mothers and fathers out there.

3.65 stars

Bad Samaritan

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I knew very little about Bad Samaritan before I went into the theater.  Honestly, I wasn’t sure about anything.  Once I saw David Tennant walk on-screen, I actually vaguely remembered seeing a trailer once for this movie, and I thought, oh, yeah.

That was this movie.  It was an “oh yeah.”

It wasn’t horrid.  It wasn’t good.  It existed in-between.  It felt like a typical low budget thriller where the hook of the movie was David Tennant doing his best over-the-top psycho imitation.

Small time thief with a heart of gold Sean Falco (Robert Sheehan) used his position as a valet for an Italian restaurant, with his friend Derek (Carlito Olivero), to sneak customers cars and rob their houses while they eat.   However, when he arrives at the house of customer Cale Erendreich (David Tennant), he finds more than he was expecting.  There in his office is a woman (Kerry Condon) chained up and leather-strapped to a chair.  After an unsuccessful attempt to free her, Sean has to get the car back before Cale discovers what has happened.  Filled with guilt over leaving her behind, Sean tries to make it right by going to the police.

Let’s start with what I liked about the film.  Robert Sheehan was a fresh face that I was able to relate to as he struggled to try and get someone to help him stop this killer.  I liked Sheehan and thought he gave a very solid and charming performance here for what it was worth.  I also think the character did things that made sense and I never thought about how stupid some of his choices were and that helps in this type of movie.

David Tennant is his usually strong self, really taking this character over-the-top.  I believed that he was a crazy man who was obsessed with order and chaos, especially as the person in control of both of those.  However, the writing on the character of Cale Erendreich was too implausible for me.  He was that type of character who always is one step ahead of everyone and somehow is able to take each twist as if he were expecting it.  So while I did enjoy the excessive nature of the character, I found the ludicrous things that happen to be stretching the possible.

However, the plot and the plot contrivances are so tough to swallow that the film loses credibility.  For example, Cale realizes almost immediately once he returned home that someone had broken into the house, and he does so with the barest of clues.  Then, he is able to remove all signs of the woman and his serial killer nature before the police arrive.  The time frame of this seems to deny the possibility of this man being able to clear his home of all manner of evidence in a remarkably minimal period.  I had trouble with that immediately.

And then…Cale Erendreich, serial killer or Internet troll?  When part of his attempt to break Sean includes posting fake posts on Facebook and cyberbullying his girlfriend, some of the juice gets taken out of the character.

I was entertained enough by the film, especially since I came into it with zero expectations, but it is hardly a good film.  It is not the worst way to spend a lazy afternoon or evening with some time to kill, but I wouldn’t go out of my way to see it.

2.75 stars

May the 4th…

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Both here and in a galaxy far, far away

We celebrate a very special day.

A day of wonder, a day of mirth

Unlike few days upon this earth.

When grand heroes will step into the light

To battle forces of the night

Luke and Leia, Han and Chewy

Droids with messages that are screwy.

Tatooine, where the rule of thumb

Is villainy among the scum

Mos Eisley cantina is where you can go

To see the creatures put on a show

Or find a ride into the stars

To avoid the Empire’s radars

That piece of junk?  Just wait a sec

The Kessel run under 12 parsecs?

You know that ‘s not a unit of time…

That story is the most sublime.

Just remember, to your chagrin

In chess you let the Wookie win.

So many great moments across the sky

for those who will live and those who will die

Yoda, the Ewoks, the massive Death Star

Lando, Kenobi and even Jar Jar.

Stormtroopers shooting and once again missing

Brother and sister unwittingly kissing

The Jedis killed off by one of their own

Boba Fett was an unaltered clone.

Tell me again, tell me with care

Boba Fett? Bobba Fett?  Where?

Yoda tells Skywalker “Do or do not”

While Luke uses the Force to lift up a rock.

Vader tells Luke that he is his father

Causing poor Luke a great sense of bother

There is so much to do.  There is so much to say

On International Star Wars Day

There is only one thing that you simply must do

Say to your friends, “May the 4th be with you!”

Image result for may the fourth be with you

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

EYG Top 10 Best of the 00’s by Year

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EYG23

Welcome to Top 10.  This week, the Top 10 Show highlighted a topic suggested by one of their patrons that was one of the more original ideas that they have had in quite a while.  The Top 10 Best of 00’s by Year.  So the pair were to pick their favorite film from each year, 2000-2009, and then they ordered that list of films into a top ten list.  Very fascinating and entertaining discussion as always from Matt and John.

So I went into the research and I actually found this easier than I thought it was going to be.  And I like that some of these films have not fallen into other lists that I have done.

So…

#10.  (2000) Erin Brockovich.  2000 was the year that had the most possible choices for me, but nothing specific stood out for me.  So I chose the best performance of Julia Roberts in a great story involving a woman who was a force of nature taking on a law suit that had no business of succeeding.  This was not the type of movie I typically enjoyed, but for whatever reason, I really liked Erin Brockovich.  This is a true story and Julia Roberts played the real life woman.

 

#9.  (2005) Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.  This is the first movie that really changed up the Harry Potter series.  It was darker.  There was a death of Cedric Diggory, played by Robert Pattinson.  This was one of the moments that really changed the series of films.  Lord Voldemort returns and becomes a real threat.  He did not just fail or was defeated.  He became a danger.  And Harry Potter took off.

 

#8.  (2006) Casino Royale.  The return of James Bond from the terrible late films of Pierce Brosnan, Casino Royale took the character back to his roots.  The original creation of James Bond was a much darker character than what he had become.  Daniel Craig came from out of nowhere to return Bond to the forefront of his own series.  Craig was fantastic in this reboot.  It was also great to see Judi Dench continue as M.  There were some brutal scenes here as well, tossing aside the campy Bond of old.  Casino Royale made the character of James Bond exciting once again.

 

#7.  (2003) Lord of the Rings: Return of the King.  This is the great conclusion to one of the top trilogies of all time.  The Lord of the Rings films were amazing, brought to life by Peter Jackson.  The film paid off what had been set up in its previous two.  There is a joke that the film had too many endings, but each one brought to an end something that needed to be handled.  The confrontation at Mount Doom with Frodo and Gollum is just tremendous.

 

#6.  (2009) Zombieland.  This movie was a complete surprise.  I was totally charmed by it immediately and loved everything about it.  The way the rules of Zombieland kept showing up on screen, as Jesse Eisenberg narrated it, was comedic gold.  There was great chemistry between Eisenberg and Woody Harrelson as Columbus and Tallahassee.  Of course, it also features the greatest Bill Murray cameo of all time.

 

#5.  (2002) Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers.  This is my favorite film of the Lord of the Rings trilogy.  There was just something about this movie that worked so well for me.  I loved how they went from group to group without trouble.  Every time I started wondering what was going on with Frodo and Sam, the film would switch to them.  Then, in a perfect timing, the film flipped to another scene, such as Merry and Pippen with Treebeard (who I just loved).  I was completely satisfied with this movie and was as engrossed in what was happening as I have been in any movie.  The first film was solid, but not great, but Two Towers was what really made me love this series.

 

#4.  (2001) Moulin Rogue.  One of my all time favorite musicals.   I loved Moulin Rogue so much.  It is also not necessarily a type of film that I expect to like, but the story grabbed me, the music was amazing (with everything from The Police to Kiss to Elton John), and there were amazing performances from the entire cast.  When Satine dies at the end, it is about as heartbreaking as any movie around.  So much amazing color.  There is great humor here too.  It is truly a fantastic musical that embraces the bohemian revolution.    Come What May.

 

#3.  (2008) The Wrestler. This was one of the tougher choices as there were two major possible choices in 2008 (Iron Man & Dark Knight).  However, I really loved the Wrestler and it brought a world to light of something that I love to watch.  I am a lifelong WWE fan and it makes you think about what these men and women are willing to do to put their bodies on the line to entertain me, but also how difficult it is to live that kind of life.  It shows how tough it is for these pro wrestlers to give up the crowd, the cheers, the fame.  Randy “The Ram” Robinson can be seen in so many other old real life pro wrestlers that it really makes you think.  Mickey Rourke gives the performance of his career and gets robbed of the Oscar.  The Wrestler is a tough movie, but also sows how important life is.

 

#2.  (2004) Spider-man 2.  This was one of my favorite movies for a long time and it is still a film that I look back on so fondly.  This was originally the best version of Spider-man ever (though Homecoming has since surpassed it).  There is so much tremendous action and character development in this film as Spidey starts to have power problems.  Doc Ock arrives in the movie, but he is quite different than the comics.  Doctor Otto Octavius was one of Peter’s idols and he meets him and is enthralled.  When Otto’s wife is killed in a freak accident, the same accident that causes the mechanical arms grafted to his body, drives the scientist crazy and he becomes a super villain.  The train fight with Doc Ock and Spidey is still one of the best sequences in any comic book movie.

 

#1.  Zodiac.  I love this film. David Fincher’s classic story about the Zodiac Killer that plagued San Francisco in the late 1960’s and early 1970’s and about the people who were obsessed with trying to find out who this murderer is.  Robert Graysmith (Jake Gyllenhaal) was a real person who ended up writing a book about the Zodiac, but we see him as a cartoonist at the SF Chronicle.  Paul Avery (Robert Downey Jr) is an amazing character of this reporter taking silly risks.  And Inspector David Toschi (Mark Ruffalo) is great.  Then, the scene with Graysmith and Bob Vaughn (Charles Fleischer) is one of the best scenes of all time.  So intense.  So frightening.  So much anxiety.  It was amazing.  Then, John Carroll Lynch is brilliant as Arthur Leigh Allen, the man whom Graysmith believed to be Zodiac.  This is such a frighteningly tense film.  Love this one.

 

Some other possible choices:  Remember the Titans, Gladiator, Batman Begins, Dark Knight, Iron Man, X2, District 9, Inglorious Basterds, Finding Nemo, Moon.

 

Avengers: Infinity War Spoiler Discussion

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Hey.  I wasn’t going to do this, but then I saw something on Twitter that changed my mind.  I want to go into some details on the major scenes and events from Avengers: Infinity War, without worrying about spoilers.  So be aware that there will be spoilers in this blog.

So, I was on Twitter and I saw a review of Avengers: Infinity War posted from the New Yorker. The article was written by Richard Brody, and the whole thing felt like he either did not understand the film or that he fell into the category of those pretentious critics or movie folks who look down upon comic book movies.

Image result for james cameron avengersYou know, like James Cameron, who wished that the movie going public would get “Avengers Fatigue” and stop going to these types of film.  What an arrogant asshole comment that was.  To wish someone else’s franchise failure because… what reasons could there be except for his own pitiful selfishness on how Black Panther has surpassed his own films domestically.

But this is not about Cameron (who should stay focused on his 4 sequels to Avatar…hypocrite), but about the New Yorker.  The quote from the article that specifically attracted me to the review was this one:

In “Avengers: Infinity War,” characters aren’t introduced; they just show up, and their behavior is entirely defined by the template set for them in other movies

Um… yeah, duh.  That is the whole purpose.  Mr. Brody looks down his nose at this style, which is exactly what Marvel Studios has been striving to do for ten years.  We know these characters because we have seen them in their own films over the last ten years.  He treats this as a negative.

Image result for frodo baggins mt doomOf course, in his attack, he completely ignores things like trilogies.  Do we have to re-introduce Darth Vader in Return of the Jedi as Luke’s father?  Doesn’t Luke’s quest to redeem Vader stem from behavior “defined by the template set for them in other movies.”  What about Frodo Baggins’s effort to get the ring of power to Mount Doom?  Isn’t that set up in a previous film?  How are we supposed to understand it?  Are we expected to watch these previous films?

Brody took this area and used it to air his own opinions on comic book movies.  and how he dislikes the genre.  He even takes a silly stance and says that the film…

“feels, inescapably, like an allusively emotional transcription of the current American political landscape. (Even the title suggests a comment on the current state of American foreign policy.)”

which is, of course, ridiculous, considering the film is based on a classic comic series that Image result for infinity gauntlet serieswas written in 1991, decades before the current political landscape.  With his lack of understanding, I can believe that these types of films do not appeal to him.  I went quickly through his movie reviews at Rotten Tomatoes and, while I may have missed some, the only super hero movies that I could find was a rotten review of Spider-man: Homecoming and a fresh review of Wonder Woman.  That was it.  Again, this does not feel like the kind of guy the New Yorker should be turning to for their Infinity War review.

Of course, everyone has their right to an opinion and, because all film is subjective, opinions can vary drastically among individuals and that is okay.  However, when it feels that someone enters the review with a preconceived notion, that is not fair to the film or the New Yorker’s readers whom may be swayed by it.

Image result for avengers infinity warWhat Richard Brody fails to understand, despite mentioning it in the beginning of the article, is that the MCU is like a long form television/serialized story and this film is the season finale.  We already know these characters.  That is why they can pop up and act in ways that they have already established.

Honestly, Infinity War feels like a “event” comic.  A series where a group of heroes show up to stop the villain over a course of several issues.  Some of the heroes are more to the front while others are there but are on the back burner.  That is exactly how this film is supposed to be like.  Those complaining about some of the characters not getting as much of an arch as others, that is absolutely on purpose.  Captain America, Black Panther (as well as most of Wakanda), Drax, Groot, Falcon, War Machine, Bucky, Black Widow are all there and get a moment to shine, but are not the focused characters.  The characters with story arcs here are Thanos, Gamora, Iron Man, Dr. Strange, Star Lord, Thor, Bruce Banner and Spider-man.  In next year’s Avengers 4, that may be different.

I have seen Avengers: Infinity War three times now and I have enjoyed it more each time that I saw it. The first night, I had so many expectations and thoughts in my head, I almost could not process what I saw.  The second time I was able to focus in on the story and enjoy what I was watching.  I was much more emotional the second and third time than I was the first time, where I was basically just shocked (I actually described myself as ‘scarred’ in my review).

Image result for spiderman and tony stark infinity warOne of the things that hit me more the second time was the death of Spider-man.  First time I saw it, I was not as emotional because I was thinking more about the fact that I knew this (and the Black Panther death) would not stick.  Clearly, a sequel to Homecoming and Black Panther are coming so these characters are not going to remain dead.  That was a thought in my head on the first viewing so it colored the ending of the film.  The second time, I was able to put that out of my head and just watch it as a story and I found myself heart broken by the powerful performance of Tom Holland as he begged Tony Stark that “I don’t want to go.”  Spider-man is a 15/16 year old kid who hasn’t lived his life.  His response is perfectly reasonable and crushes you, if you allow yourself to not be thinking that it is only temporary.

Image result for peter quill ego fightAnother complaint I have seen is the reaction of Peter Quill to discovering that Thanos had to kill Gamora and how that caused the plan on Titan to fail.  Spider-man, Iron Man, Mantis, Drax, Dr. Strange had nearly removed the gauntlet from Thanos’s hand and it was Quill’s freak out that broke Mantis’s grasp on the Mad Titan and allowed him to snap back to reality.  Why would Quill react that way?  Because that is who Peter Quill is.  In Guardians Vol. 2, he reacted the same way when Ego told him that he had given his mother cancer.  He immediately attacked Ego despite the group not wanting him to.  Star Lord is a hothead and does not always think things through.  Here, it cost them huge.

I did not understand at first why Dr. Strange gave Thanos the Time stone in exchange for Tony Stark’s life.  It sure looked like this was Stark’s end as he had been stabbed by Thanos and was being prepped to be finished off.  Then, Strange interjected, saving Stark’s life after, earlier in the film, specifically telling him that he would protect the Time stone first and, if it came down to saving Stark or the kid or protecting the stone, he would choose the stone.  This contradiction confused me for a bit, but now it seemed clear that when Strange looked at the possible futures and saw only one in which they win, it had something to do with Stark, and Strange had to save him because of it.  Or, I guess, the future depended on Thanos getting all six stones which meant that Strange had to let him get it.  Even though Strange was one of the heroes who were reduced to dust, this will clearly be an important threadline through next year’s Avengers 4.

Image result for loki infinity warThere have been questions about the Asgardians.  People wonder where Valkyrie was at the beginning of the film.  I believe that she is on a ship with half of the Asgardians that Thanos allowed to live.  Thor does say later in the film that Thanos killed half his people.  It makes sense that she (and maybe Korg) got some away while Thor and Loki stayed behind.  As for Loki, ah Tom Hiddleston, we love you.  It was a sad moment when the Trickster God played his final trick, but it absolutely set the tone for who Thanos was and just what kind of a threat he would be.  Tom Hiddleston is a treasure and I want to thank him for the years of his brilliance as Loki.  Once more…”SAY MY NAME”- LOKI!!!!

Related imageI also should say goodbye to Heimdall (Idris Elba) who died in those first five minutes.  Gamora dies in a tremendously emotional scene (although I kind of think that maybe she has a way back- could her soul be inside the Soul Stone?).  And Vision dies…TWICE!  Both Cap and Iron Man, heavily speculated that one or both would die here, survived.  It looks like the original cast of Avengers all made it through for one final run before some die or head off to the retirement home.

I loved how the Hulk suddenly is too scared to come out of Banner, no matter how much Banner tries to get him out.  Hulk had been beaten badly by Thanos at the beginning of the movie and that was something that had never happened before.  In Thor: Ragnarok, Hulk was acting more like a little kid and this fits exactly with this.  How will Hulk learn that “the madder Hulk gets, the stronger Hulk gets?”  I don’t know, but I enjoyed the performance from Mark Ruffalo here and look forward to the continuing saga of the Hulk, a storyline that continues throughout the different films he appears in (since they can not do a stand alone Hulk film).

The whole arc with Peter Dinklage as Eitri, the dwarf leader of Nidavellir was my least favorite part, but I did like it more the second time I saw it.  I liked the idea of casting Dinklage as the giant dwarf, but I thought his CGI was the worst of the bunch.  Some thought he was just too much like his Game of Thrones character, but since I do not watch Game of Thrones, that did not bother me at all.  And the scenes did include the greatness that is the Thor-Rocket combo.  The Thor and “Rabbit” pairing is absolute GOLD!  I also thought it was great that teenage Groot spent almost the entire movie on that damn video game.  How perfect.

I would like to see Drax get to be Drax “THE DESTROYER” again, but Dave Bautista has brought such a perfect comedic timing to the character that he is one of the funniest characters in the film and he has one-liners galore.

Related imageThe appearance of the Red Skull was brilliant and very welcome.  In the opening night showing, my crowd applauded his appearance.  Sure, he may not be returning to the MCU in a regular capacity any time soon, but just the knowledge that he is there is awesome.  I also appreciated the unexpected cameo from the Collector (Benecio del Toro) here.  I hope he was able to escape from Knowhere with his life, but I am afraid that the film hinted that he was killed by Thanos off-screen.  I still want the Collector/Grandmaster road film through space.  Del Toro and Jeff Goldblum would be amazing.

I have rambled on here quite a bit and I could probably go one for a lot more, but I think you get the point.  I loved Avengers: Infinity War and I have loved it even more each time I saw it.  It is a difficult movie, one with a lot of emotional baggage, but it does a brilliant job moving the story toward next year’s Avengers 4.  Plus, the tag at the end for Captain Marvel tells you that you cannot miss that film next March.

I for one cannot wait until the season premiere….

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Avengers: Infinity War

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I am emotionally scarred.

This will be as spoiler free of a review as I can do because I went out of my way to avoid spoilers and I think it truly enhanced some of the unbelievable things that happen here.

To speak on that for a moment.  After the premiere earlier this week in Hollywood, some online reviews, in particular Forbes and Variety, posted reviews filled with spoilers for the new Avenger film.  Now, you may say so what.  The articles are clearly marked as spoiler filled so if you read it and were spoiled, it is your fault, right?

Not necessarily.  Because there are trolls out there in the world of the Internet whose sole purpose seems to be to try and ruin anything like this by posting spoilers on Twitter or in comment sections just to be assholes.  There was a group on Facebook that had the hashtag #AvengetheDCEU and they wanted their followers to vote Infinity War down just because. Understand, I do not blame DC fans for this.  These people are not DC fans. They are just little people who want to feel powerful by ruining this epic film-going experience.  So now, Forbes and Variety, in all of their stupidity, just armed these idiots with everything they need to know to cause problems.

With that knowledge, I avoid everything social media for the last couple of days because I did not want to be spoiled.  I went into the original Avengers spoiled about Coulson’s fate and it was just not as impactful as it should have been.

So I stayed off Twitter.  I avoided reading any YouTube comments.  I did not read or watch any reviews online.  I did not go to Facebook.  I just shut that part of my existence off.  And it was so worth it.

Now, Avengers Infinity War.

God, it was great.

Thanos, the Mad Titan (Josh Brolin) is on a quest to claim all six of the Infinity stones scattered across the cosmos and our heroes, everyone from Avengers to Guardians of the Galaxy to individuals like Spider-man and Dr. Strange came together in an attempt to prevent that from happening.

Lets start off with Thanos.  Thanos is amazing.  The best Marvel villain ever.  The hyperbole is certainly earned.  But it was more than just the big time bad ass that he was.  Thanos had tremendous depth to him and truly believed what he was doing was the right thing to do.  Josh Brolin brought so much unexpected emotion and characterization to the purple sociopath that you can almost understand why the guy is trying to this horrible thing.

And lets talk CGI for a minute.  I never once thought about Thanos being a CGI character.  He was so well done that it never entered my mind.  In fact, it wasn’t until after the movie when I was listening to a review that mentioned the CGI that I even remembered that Thanos was mostly created by technicians.  I marveled at the precision of each moment this character was on screen.

Honestly, this is Thanos’s movie.  He carries it very well.

The action is second to none.  There is so much going on that there are very few moments to catch your breath.  Infinity War reminded me very much of some of the battles in the Lord of the Rings trilogy, when they would bounce back in forth between different locations with different action beats going down.  Although I do not feel this way, I can understand some people’s criticism of the film having too much going on because there certainly is a lot happening.

I believe that each character involved in the story has their special moment to shine and stand out.  Directors Anthony and Joe Russo showed that they were capable of doing this in Civil War, and they really bring it here as well, but this time with way more characters.  However, I will admit that, because of the vast number of characters, very few characters are allowed to develop more.  That is for their individual movies.  This is a grand team up and it does depend on you already knowing who these heroes are. I, of course, already knew them, so that was not a problem for me.  There are some characters who are background in this film.  Again,. not a bad thing, just what had to happen.

There is so much emotion and depth to this simple story that I came out of the film shaken.  There are so many awesome surprises in this film and some that are devastating.  I will not spoil any of them, but just know that the stakes have never been higher.

This is still a Marvel movie so there is still their trademark humor here, but this time it was different.  The rest of the movie was so dark that the humor was a welcome respite to the mood of the film.  Tone did change depending on who was on screen.  The Guardians of the Galaxy felt like a different tone than the Iron Man stuff or the Vision stuff.  And despite that being a danger in film, here the Russo Brothers made that work extremely well.

There were great performances everywhere, led by Josh Brolin.  Robert Downey Jr. was his normal brilliant self.  Tom Holland embodied Spider-Man.  Benedict Cumberbatch really feels like Dr. Strange.  Chris Pratt brought it as Peter Quill, Star-Lord.  Karen Gillian is not in it as much as I would have liked, but her scenes were wonderfully impactful.

One of the best aspects of the film is seeing these heroes interact with heroes from other films.  Seeing Dr. Strange with Spider-man and Iron Man, seeing Thor with the Guardians etc was great and the writing of the dialogue continues to provide us great witty banter and in depth character traits.

Now, the ending.  I loved it, but I do have to say that I have one issue with it, but it would be a HUGE spoiler so I cannot go into now.  It is not going to affect my score, but it was something that made me pause as I watched it.

This is the beginning of the culmination of 10 years of Marvel Studios.  This is a brilliant film that encompasses all of what is great about the last 18 movies and delivered on the tease of Thanos big time.  And the comic book geek in me squealed at the end post credit scene.  Dark, funny, tragic, dramatic, exciting, pulse pounding moments filled the 150 plus minutes and left me feeling both exhilarated and crushed.

Thankfully, it is just one year before Avengers 4 arrives.

5 stars

EYG Top 10 Comic Book Sequels

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Welcome to this week’s Top 10.  We are under 46 hours to go until I get a chance to see Avengers: Infinity war and, honestly, there is not much else that I am focused on.  So I am ready to get this week’s Top 10 list going.  And in honor of the massive conclusion to the 10 year odyssey that is the Marvel Cinematic Universe, the Top 10 Show featured the Top 10 Comic Book Movie Sequels.

We had a special guest this week.  His name is Mike Black, and he sounded as if he was a big time action figure guy and a stand up comedian.  He contributed well to the discussion.

This list was pretty easy to do for me as a lot of these films are ones that are my personal favorites.

#10.  X-Men: Days of Future Past.  The classic X-Men story came to the big screen as a direct sequel to X-Men: First Class.  Instead of Shadowcat, Wolverine is the character from the future that is sent into the past to warn the previous groups of the upcoming dangers of the world for mutants.  And having a chance to get rid of the continuity of the horrible films like X-Men 3: Last Stand and X-Men origins.  James McAvoy was tremendous in this film as Charles Xavier who had lost his faith.  Quicksilver appeared and stole the movie.  The film was the best of the new cast X-Men films.

 

#9.  X2: X-Men United.  This is the best of the original X-Men series as the X-Men faced off with the mutant hater William Stryker facing off with the X-Men.  Nightcrawler arrives in the opening scene, which was one of the great scenes in the series.  His teleportation through the White House was something special.  Plus, we had the tease of Dark Phoenix at the very end of the film.  Yes, it did not pay off, but how cool was it to see the firebird beneath that water?  Logan really was able to show the berserker rage in this film for the first time as well.

 

#8.  Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2.  James Gunn’s follow-up to the awesome surprise film, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 brought an amazing amount of emotion and energy.  On my first viewing, I was a little uncertain about the jokes.  It felt like there were too many forced jokes, but the second and following viewing of the film was tremendous.  The second time I saw the film, I was able to really get into the movie more and I was able to manage my expectations.  I loved the ending with Yondu and I cried every time after the first time.  These characters felt familiar and comfortable and they fit together.  Mantis debuts.  Kurt Russell as Ego is fantastic.  The relationships between these characters really was the most important part of this movie.

 

#7.  Avengers: Age of Ultron.  This is one that gets a bad rap from a lot of people and I do not think that is very fair.  I love Ultron.  This film has some issues, but none of them are enough to dismantle this great film.  Ultron himself is wonderful with the voice of James Spader.  Some people disliked how Ultron was quippy, but since he was taking after his “father,” Tony Stark, it makes sense.  I loved the ending with Sokovia and I loved how the Avengers were shown as heroes, rescuing people.

 

#6.  Thor: Ragnarok.  The third Thor film really took the character and the film series into a new direction, thanks especially to the direction of Taika Waititi.  The film was basically a comedy, with amazing humor.  Thor winds up on the planet Sakaar wherew he finds the Grandmaster holding gladiator battles for the populace.  Thor winds up facing off against the ultimate fighter, The Incredible Hulk.  Meanwhile, Odin’s other daughter, Hela, had returned from the Underworld to reclaim her rightful role of Queen of Asgard.  And, of course, Ragnarok is the story of the destruction of Asgard, and this actually happens.  Thor: Ragnarok really reinvigorates the character without completely throwing out what was done before.

 

#5.  The Dark Knight.  This is great, but I do not find it as perfect as the rest of the world seems to do.  Yes, Heath Ledger is the Joker you never thought you wanted and now will always be the measuring stick for the character.  The story is strong, but I think it is more of a Joker movie than it is a Batman movie.  However, I will never forget the moment I saw the “Do you want to see a magic trick?” scene.  I roared with laughter, despite the theater I was in was gasping in shock.  One of the best villainous moments in any film.

 

#4.  Spider-man 2.  This was my favorite film for quite a while, before the MCU came along.  It was one of the best depiction of Spider-man ever, based on one of the most classic story arcs in comics, “No More Spider-man.”  The doubt of being Spider-man is a key attribute to Peter Parker.  Then, the train scene where Spidey fights Doc Ock and saves the train with his webbing was goose bump inducing.  I have had tears in my eyes in this scene because I loved how the crowd backed the unconscious Spidey.  Homecoming has surpassed this as my favorite Spidey movie, but it was really close.

 

#3.  Captain America: Winter Soldier.  The first example of the Russo Brothers directing a huge Marvel tenpole film, Captain America Winter Soldier became one of the great films int he MCU.  The film was a political thriller, as SHIELD was revealed as being infiltrated by HYDRA.  This is a Marvel movie that features Robert F’n Redford, for goodness sake.  Cap is great.  Black Widow appears and does a fantastic job as a supporting character.  This was really the best we had seen Black Widow in any of the films yet.  And I will always remember the gasp I heard in one theater when the Winter Soldier was revealed as Bucky. It was so cool because I thought everyone knew that the Winter Soldier was Bucky, but obviously, it was not as well known as I thought and I loved the gasp.  We also met the Falcon, who became one of Cap’s closest friend.  There is a great elevator fight scene as well.  This is truly amazing.

 

#2.  Logan.  This was heart-wrenching.  To see where our beloved Logan had wound up in his life by trying to protect Charles Xavier and get enough money to escape on a boat…only to be waylaid by the arrival of a little girl named Laura.  A wild child herself, Laura was so much like him and, despite not wanting to, he had to protect her.  Patrick Stewart was BRILLIANT as Xavier and he was truly robbed from an Academy Award nomination for Best Supporting Actor.  The second half of this movie was so heart breaking.  Seeing Xavier’s death was shocking and painful, but the tears really came with the reaction of Laura when she realized that Charles had been killed.  And the final end of Logan brought me to tears every time.  This was brutal in both the physical action and the results of the characters.  As a final goodbye to Hugh Jackman as Wolverine, you could not ask for a better film.

 

#1.  Captain America: Civil War.  This is my favorite of the MCU and it is right near the top of my favorite movies of all time.  This is amazing as it is not only a Captain America stand alone film, but it is an Avenger film.  The Airport scene is perhaps one of the greatest fights in movie history, but the end fight scene with Iron Man, Cap and Bucky, is just as tremendous.  There are so many stakes in this fight and you can feel both sides of the fight.  You can come into the film as a Team Cap only to leave as a Team Iron Man or vice versa.  Some complain about Zemo, but I think he is one of the best Marvel villains.  Zemo’s plan was to reveal the secret that Bucky had killed Tony Stark’s parents in a way to break up the Avengers.  And it worked!  Zemo’s plan was not as convoluted as it seemed.  He was patient.  Civil War was perfect to me…and I did not even mention Spider-man! or the Black Panther.  The second successful film from the Russo Brothers, which led to them getting Infinity War.

Honorable Mentions;  Iron Man 3, Superman 2, Batman Returns, Sin City: A Dame to Kill For, Kick Ass 2, The Wolverine

The TV Week That Was

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Welcome back to the TV Week That Was, although it is actually closer to the TV MONTH That Was, as I have had a few weeks where I was unable to find the time for this column.  But hey, that just means that this one will be chocked full of TV goodness (and some not so goodness).

Speaking of that not so goodness, I found out this past week that Starz has decided to cancel Ash vs. Evil Dead.  What an epic failure in my book.  This show has been one of my absolute favorite shows this season, just catching up on Netflix.  Season three has been so great that the news caught me completely off guard.  I can’t imagine why Starz would make this decision, but it certainly makes my decision to cancel my Starz subscription immediately after the series finale next week an easy choice.  Ash is involved in a huge battle with the Dark Ones in next week’s series finale and it looks tremendous.  This week was awesome as well as we saw the end of Ruby and everything falling into place for the big knockdown.  I have also watched American Gods on Styarz, but I will not be watching that one live on Starz any longer because it made a mistake that I just will not forgive it for.

I started and finished Netflix’s new series Lost in Space over the last few weeks and this was a great reboot and some damn fine science fiction.  The interpersonal relationships in the Robinsons were a lot of fun and remarkably deep, and I loved the new Don West played by former General Hospital villain Diego, Ignacio Serricchio.  Don was the rapscallion of the crew and he was hugely charismatic and funny.  And I was so ready for someone to kill Dr. Smith, played with a ton of wicked gusto by Parker Posey.  I was never a fan of the original series, but I found myself strangely tearing up when the robot first said the words, “Danger Will Robinson.”  I am unsure the reason, but I was fully engaged in the series, which had a LOST flare to it as well.  The 10-episodes featured several moments where it felt as if one of the main characters would be biting the dust.  I have to say, after so many teases, I almost felt as if someone important should have died.  It is worth a watch for sure.

I also finished the second season of Netflix’s A Series of Unfortunate Events.  After the first few episodes, I was feeling as if this series might not be able to grip me as the original season had done, because it had too familiar feel to it.  It desperately needed some adjusting and fortunately, that adjustment came in the being of Nathan Fillion, as Jacques Snicket.  The set up of each episodes changed just a bit and the show was considerably better for it.  In fact, I was extremely unhappy to come to the end of the 10th episode as the show left us on a desperate cliffhanger.  Season three has been greenlit and will be a final season for the show which should allow a conclusion to the story and maybe even some kind of happy(?) ending for the Baudelaire orphans.

Season 8 of the Walking Dead came to a close ending the weakest season of the series’ run.  The finale had the same feel as the confrontation between Rick and Negan had a distinct anticlimactic feel to it.  I did enjoy the betrayal from Eugene with the exploding bullets, but I saw it coming a mile away.  As soon as he handed Negan that gun to “test” it was obvious what Eugene had decided to do.  And then the let’s imprison Negan storyline was not exactly the monumental final battle we thought we might get.  I am not against keeping Negan alive, but the manner in which it was done felt like disrespect to Glenn and the other victims of Negan.  We also saw Morgan leave to head to Fear the Walking Dead, which had its season premiere immediately after the Walking Dead finale.

Roseanne on ABC has had a pretty good couple of weeks worth of episodes including the return of Big Bang Theory star Johnny Galecki as David.  There still seems to be some weirdness among the actors as some of their lines feel as if they are being delivered woodenly.  It is as if they have forgotten how to act.  I cringe much of the time when John Goodman and Laurie Metcalf are on screen and they should be the two best actors on the cast.  Still, the writing has improved, story wise at least and the characters are coming into their own.

The WWE Network featured Wrestlemania 34, which was a solid show.  The last hour or hour and a half was a bit lackluster.  After the debut of Ronda Rousey with Kurt Angle vs. HHH and Stephanie, the rest of the card disappointed.  However, the clear winner of match of the weekend went to NXT Takeover with Johnny Gargano vs. Tommaso Ciampa.  That may be the Match of the Year leader at this point.  Following these events, the WWE also had the nights after Wrestlemania, where a bunch of NXT stars debuted on the main roster (as well as Bobby Lashley returning) and then the following week they had the Superstar Shakeup, which moved performers between RAW and Smackdown.  WWE has some momentum right now as they are preparing to have their next major show live from Saudi Arabia on Friday morning.

Struckersheadcrushes.pngAgents of SHIELD is full blown crazy as the agents are trying desperately to prevent the future from happening that lead to the destruction of the earth.  The young villain Ruby tried to combine herself with gravitonium but it only led to her death by the hands of Yo-Yo.  Yo-Yo believes that she may have stopped the future, but it looks as if there may be more coming.  Still, the scene where Ruby accidentally crushed the head of the young Strucker was another one of those unexpectedly disturbing SHIELD scenes.

HBO premiered the documentary on professional wrestler Andre the Giant last week and the documentary featured much about the life of the Eight Wonder of the World.  It featured interviews with Andre as well as some important people in his life.  We saw old footage from his early days, heard details about the life of Andre and focused on his Wrestlemania 3 match with Hulk Hogan.  The end of the line for Andre the Giant turned out to be a sad one as he died alone in a hotel room in France.  The people interviewed clearly had a strong love of the Giant, speaking of him in glowing and kind terms.

Designated Survivor has been picking up pace while finding ways to connect the fictional world of Tom Kirkman to today’s world.  Recently, Kirkman has been having therapy sessions about the death of his wife and now those tapes are being leaked to the media, bringing into question the suitability of the President to carry out his office.  Designated Survivor has been strong the last few weeks, and it looks as if next week will feature a bit of a betrayal of its own.  It looks as if we have the fortunate luck to have Michael J. Fox on the cast of this show for the remainder of the season.  Fox is a lawyer who is trying to determine whether or not President Kirkman is able to keep his job and avoid having the 25th Amendment enacted.

Scandal came to an end this week with a whimper.  Instead of sending Olivia Pope and President Fitz to Vermont to live happily ever after and to give the happy ending to the Gladiators, Shonda killed off the last good character on the show, David Rosen, by Cyrus’s hand, and allowed Cyrus to escape with nothing more than a resignation of the VP role.  It also brought Papa Pope out to speak to the Congressional hearing admitting to leading B613 and basically bragging about how a black man was making all the decisions the past thirty years.  I guess that was not info that should come out because they offered up a scapegoat, Jake, as the leader of B613.  I guess the theme of this show was that if you were a good person, your life was worthless and if you were a killing lowlife, you have a chance to life happily ever after.  I was very unhappy with the end of the series that had never recovered from the kidnapping of Olivia Pope a few years ago.  Even with the ending scene where some young black girls walk through the portraits of former presidents and stop at one of Olivia Pope (not sure if that was to mean that Olivia would become President in the future or what) and looked at it with inspiration, that felt flat since we knew all the horrid things that Olivia did in her time in Washington.  Major disappointment.

Speaking of scandals, this time a real life variety, former FBI Director James Comey was making the rounds on the talk shows this week to promote his new book that seems to be causing President Trump a lot of tweet-storms.  Comey had a one-on-one interview on ABC with George Stephanopoulos, appeared with Stephen Colbert on the Late Show and the View on ABC.  He was also with Rachel Maddow on MSNBC this week (and I may have missed a few appearances).  I must say though that Comey came off as intelligent, well-spoken, honest, and thoughtful.  Prior to these interviews, I did not have near the positive thought of Comey as I did after seeing these.

Gotham may have finally answered the question about who exactly is the Joker, as suspect number one, Jerome, was killed on the show. Prior to his death, Jerome had sent some of his special Laugh-X gas to his twin brother, Jeremiah Valeska, who has become the Clown Prince of Crime.  This twist is just one more way to show you that Gotham is really more about the villains than the heroes.  The villains, from Riddler to Penguin, from Joker to Catwoman, from Grundy to Leigh, are the most interesting characters on the show.  This week, Ra’s Al Ghoul made his return form the dead to reclaim his Death’s Head from Barbara.

I got a chance to see the most recent episode of Riverdale this week after missing several episodes in a row.  It did not seem as if I missed much, outside of the departure of Betty’s new brother.  This week’s episode seemingly saw the return of the Black Hood, who killed a girl, Midge, during the show’s play.  Of course, it was not just any old play.  It was Carrie the Musical.  And the entire show was a musical.  I guess the Black Hood, who had sent a message to the kids to replace Cheryl Blossom in the lead role, wanted to kill those who were bad singers.  If that was the case, everyone on Riverdale is in danger.  This was not the best TV musical episode ever… by far.  I think that still goes to Buffy the Vampire Slayer’s Once More With Feeling.  It was a weird episode to return to, but the eerie murder at the end was pure Riverdale.

Westworld season two debuts later tonight on HBO.

Happy viewing.