The Legend of Tarzan

Posted on July 3, 2016 by Doc

Every trailer I saw made me think that this was going to be one big stink pile. However, I was pleasantly surprised at how much I liked The Legend of Tarzan. It is far from a perfect movie, but I found myself entertained and engaged throughout the entire film.

One of the best things about this movie was that it did not start with Tarzan in the jungle. In fact, the first time we see Tarzan, he is in England, running around as John Clayton, the Lord of Greystoke. He is civilized. He is speaking English. There is no “Me Tarzan” anywhere to be found, except for a few jokes sprinkled into the script. That was very refreshing. I did not need an origin story of Tarzan. And this fit the bill quite well.

John Clayton (Alexander Skarsgård) is approached by American Dr. George Williams (Samuel L. Jackson) to lead a group into the Congo, back to where John had been raised by the apes, to look into a plan by the Belgian King Leopold to colonize and exploit the Congo, specifically the use of slave labor in the building of a railroad to mine diamonds. This is a true historical situation that happened, and I like how the film used it as a backdrop for its story.

Leon Rom (Christoph Waltz) was sent into the Congo by King Leopold to secure some diamonds to pay for his plot, but Rom winds up face to face with Chief Mbomba (Djimon Hounsou), who requests one thing in exchange for the diamonds… Rom to bring him Tarzan.

Of course, with John returning to Africa, he was not going to go alone. His wife, Jane (Margot Robbie) insisted on going back with him, despite any potential danger. I liked that, despite having her kidnapped in the story, they made Jane a strong character and not the simple damsel in distress. She was very capable and handled herself well.

Through a series of circumstances, Rom wound up with Jane and John had to go back to his roots to save her and stop his plan.

As I said, I really liked how they had set up the story, using flashbacks to show the most important parts of the story- baby John being taken by the ape, young Tarzan being chased by powerful apes, Tarzan meeting Jane for the first time. These flashbacks worked to fill in any blanks we might have had without having to go through the whole story again.

Alexander Skarsgård was good as Tarzan, and he certainly looked the part. How many sit-ups must that guy do to have abs like that? Ridiculous. He had a great chemistry with Margot Robbie too, making me believe that relationship.

Christoph Waltz was okay, but I did not really feel his reasons for doing what he was doing. Because of that, he did come off as one-note during parts of the film. I would have liked to have more reason for him besides it is what is good for Belgium.

I really enjoyed Samuel L. Jackson in this movie. I found his character to be very interesting, very funny and to have the most motivation of any of the ancillary characters in The Legend of Tarzan.

I thought the CGI was adequate for the movie. There was nothing that really pulled me out of the shot, though there was not the Jungle Book type of CGI either. Everything here was fine, just not spectacular.

There were sections of the story that fell apart as the film progressed, and this could have probably used another few scenes shaved off, but these scenes did not bother me as much as I thought they might.

I was surprised at how much I did enjoy The Legend of Tarzan, as I was not looking forward to it and the film has received a series of negative reviews (as of right now, 34% on Rotten Tomatoes). However, I got an early eighties action movie vibe from this, and I enjoyed the way the story was presented to the audience. There were also strong performances from Skarsgård, Robbie and Jackson.

Tarzan falls into that category of heroes, like Zorro, Lone Ranger, Conan, or John Carter, that could be considered iconic, but whose time may have passed, making a retelling more challenging. I think director David Yates and everyone involved in this did a good job bringing us a vision of Tarzan that audiences in 2016 could enjoy. It certainly surprised me.

3.3 stars

The BFG

Posted on July 2, 2016 by Doc

Roald Dahl is a wonderful writer. He has created such amazing pieces of work as James and the Giant Peach, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and Matilda, as well as one of my favorite dark poems of all-time, “The Pig.” Meanwhile, EYG Hall of Famer Steven Spielberg is one of the greatest directors around helming such classics as Jaws, E.T. the Extra Terrestrial, Schlinder’s List, Saving Private Ryan and Raiders of the Lost Ark. Putting these two icons together should create magic.

2016, we get The BFG. An adaptation of Roald Dahl’s novel by Steven Spielberg. Unfortunately, it does not reach the level of expectation that these two names create. However, there is a certain charm to this movie.

Young orphan Sophie (Ruby Barnhill) couldn’t sleep and was up wandering around the orphanage one night when she accidentally catches a glance at a giant. The giant, who would come to be called BFG (Mark Rylance), could not leave the girl to blab about what she had seen, so he took her from the orphanage back to Giant Land. Sophie thought he was going to eat her, but BFG laughed it off. See, he was a kind giant. BFG stood for Big Friendly Giant, a name given to him by another human who he had befriended.

Sophie and BFG bonded together until other, larger giants, who called BFG “Runt”, came around sniffing for the girl. These giants did eat “beans” (as they called them- instead of “beings”) and they wanted to make Sophie the next meal.

Together, Sophie and BFG had to come up with a plan to stop the evil giants.

Now, this is a fine little movie, but it is anything but a magical story. In fact, if I am being honest, I was really bored for the first hour or so of this movie. Yes, the two characters (BFG and Sophie) had a nice relationship, but there was just nothing much that happened. As I was preparing to hit this film with a negative review, something happened. The film took a major switch and I was suddenly engaged.

SPOILERS

When Sophie devised the plan for her and BFG to go see the Queen of England (Penelope Wilton) and ask for help with the evil giants, this film really took off. That entire section was so perfectly devised and executed that everything before that had bored me was gone from my mind and I was entertained. It was such an unexpected turn and a strange, unlikely way of dealing with the problem that I just loved it. The sections with the Queen were very funny and it really saved the movie for me.

END OF SPOILERS

Mark Rylance donned the motion capture suit for this role and he does a wonderful job as BFG. He emotes so much with his eyes and his face that he really raised the bar in the art form of motion capture. Plus, Ruby Barnhill feels like she stepped right out of a Roald Dahl book. Her performance is an important one here and she definitely carries her own weight here.

Now excluding the motion capture, I will say that much of the CGI looked like CGI and it pulled me out of the movie, especially in the early part of the film. I would have expected better visual effects from a Spielberg movie.

While part of this movie was dull, the second half really brought the game. The BFG was a charming family film that everyone in the family can enjoy. There are some good messages here, and the ending is A+. Unfortunately, the entire film does not live up to what this film should have been. It is good. It just is not great.

3 stars

Mockingbird

Posted on July 2, 2016 by Doc

Mockingbird, aka Bobbi Morse, is one of my newest most favorite comics published by Marvel Comics.

I just picked up the first four issues of the series at Comic World this past Wednesday. I was unaware it was being published and had missed out on #1. I have always liked Bobbi, from the days of her marriage to Hawkeye to the newest version of her on ABC in Agents of SHIELD.

So I definitely wanted to give this a try. Issue #4 came out this past Wednesday, and I had to pick up all four books.

How marvelous they were.

Written by Chelsea Cain, art by Kate Niemczyk and inking by Sean Parsons, Mockingbird present our heroine in a new way. She is smart. She is funny. She is sarcastic. She is very much like the character from Agents of SHIELD.

And I loved it.

In fact, number one was a very intriguing issue. The story really did not make much sense. Bobbi was required to come into SHIELD for a weekly medical exam, but we were not sure why or what was going on. We saw her arrive several times in several different outfits and we saw some really strange things.

In the letters page, Chelsea referred to the issue as a “puzzle box.” The next four issues will come out and you will start to understand what you read in issue one. It was a clever way of writing and really helped to engage me as a reader.

We also met Lance Hunter, another character from the TV show, and the chemistry on the page was as sharp as it is on screen. Issue four saw the appearance of Clint Barton and it reminds us how great Bobbi and Clint were together all those years ago. I don’t know which one of the men I like with Bobbi better. But either one is not needed. Bobbi is special by herself.

I loved this series and issue five is supposed to reveal the remaining parts of the puzzle box. I cannot wait.

Old Man Geek’s Week in Review

Posted on July 2, 2016 by Doc

weekinreview

Week Ending 7/1/16

Hurumph…errr…um… I am Old Man Geek and this is my section on this newfangled Interweb thingy… I don’t see it catchin’ on.

You whippersnappers think that Geek culture belongs to you? Well, I’ve been a geek back when it wasn’t …as the kids say…cool…to be a geek and it is finally MY TIME!

I will be talkin’ about the world of geek culture from the week that was. As Walter Cronkite would say, “That was what it was.” I miss Mr. Cronkite. They don’t make ’em like that any more. Now a days all you get is 24 hours of “opinionists.” Where are the real journalists and newsmen? Why, in my day, I…… what? Oh, err…sorry.

Those in charge are telling me that there may be SPOILED MILK in this report. I’m not sure what they mean, but never drink that stuff. It’s bad for the digestion. Huh? Spoilers? What in tarnation are spoilers?

This week, the new movie Independence Day: Resurgence debuted at the theater. Why it didn’t debut this week is beyond me. I mean…isn’t this coming Monday the actual Independence Day? Y’know, the Fourth of July? Why not take advantage of that? Apparently, most people agreed with me because the film fell flat. I heard that lots of critics were throwing rotten tomatoes at the movie and only 32% of them hit it.

They had a finale of the Game of Thrones show this past Sunday. Now, it is no Matlock, but I find the show fairly engrossing. I’m just not sure how that Jon Snow fella is the King of the north. Didn’t he die?

Warner Brothers released the Ultimate Edition Batman v. Superman film this week, a whopping 3 hours worth of movie. This new version does make the film make more sense and feel less choppy. Did you know that my mother’s name was also Martha? She was a wonderful woman. Looked like Jabba the Hut from that third Star wars movie. No, not that Episode Three! The third one in chronological order. You know, the way we used to get our movies. None of this prequel, sequel, reboot stuff. We went to the theater to watch a movie and we liked it.

Where was I?

Apparently Captain America is not as much of a Hydra agent as we thought. Guess I shouldn’t have burned my Captain America collection.

I went to the Ellen DeGeneres movie about the fish this week. I love Ellen. I watch her before judge Judy every day. The fish didn’t do enough dancing.

I went to see the reunion of some show with a bunch of initials this week. MST3K is what it was called, but all they did was show old shorts and make fun of them. I did laugh at most of the jokes. I really enjoyed the “Shake Hands with Danger” section. That tune was stuck in my head for days. Then they “riffed” on George Reeves’ Superman who was pushing stamps. I got a bunch of those in a box around here somewhere.

More initials this weekend as The BFG starts in the theaters. Makes me think of KFC. I would love some chicken.

In fact, I think it is time for my dinner. I’ll be back later.

Swiss Army Man

Posted on July 1, 2016 by Doc

“The farting corpse movie” is what Swiss Army Man has become known because of its use of flatulence to add humor to the movie. However, that is simply an unfair classification because this movie is way more than that.

Hank (Paul Dano) has been stranded on an island and ready to end his life from the loneliness and the despair when he spotted a body on the beach. Before you know it, the dead body is passing gas, and Hank is riding the dead body like a jet ski.

No, really.

The thing is… that is not the weirdest thing that happened in this movie. When the dead body starts talking to Hank, this film really takes off. We find out that the dead body’s name is Manny (Daniel Radcliffe) and he does not remember anything. But Hank starts using Manny in all kinds of ways that is unexpected in an effort to get home.

And I laughed throughout the entire movie.

Paul Dano and Daniel Radcliffe are brilliant. Radcliffe especially, since he was playing a dead body. The physical demands of the performance was off the charts and Radcliffe was just astounding.

The dialogue was riveting and brilliant. The relationship between Hank and Manny developed more than most movie relationships. Manny is so innocent and Hank tries to explain everything to him and the results are amazing. You care more about this dead body than you do about anyone from The Purge: Election Day.

Yes, there is farting in this movie, but it takes the bodily function and makes it an irreplaceable aspect of the story. It is not just fart jokes. The use of the farts helped move the story along and even became an important character development. I never thought I would say that but the farting was integral to the plot.

If anyone wanted to complain that this was the same as “Weekend at Bernie’s” then they simply did not watch it. Swiss Army Man is both unbelievably funny and remarkably poignant. This movie is about life and the way we live it. It is perhaps the most creative and original concept I have ever seen. I was never sure exactly what was happening and I really wanted to understand. The film does such a fantastic job of creating doubt about Manny. Is this magic? Is this all a delusion? Is he not really dead? I thought all these at some point. Swiss Army Man is a transcendent experience.

I was just a little uncertain about the ending of the film, not sure if that is how I wanted it to end, but that was a minor point. I have to say that I did love how the film used the character of Sarah (Mary Elizabeth Winstead), which I won’t spoil, but it went against all of the preconceived notions, and most films would not have gone that direction. It was just one more example of how this film broke the mold.

Swiss Army Man is funny and wonderful. One of the best movies of the year.

4.8 stars

The Purge: Election Year

Posted on July 1, 2016 by Doc

Elizabeth Mitchell was awesome in LOST as Juliet. Her relationship with Sawyer was one of the highlights of the last few years of the series. I will always love her as an actress, even when she is in terrible movies like The Purge: Election Year.

To be fair, Elizabeth Mitchell is easily the best part of this film. She and Frank Grillo (the dearly departed Crossbones from Captain America: Civil War) really hold together this film, but there are so many other issues here that even two extremely likable figures such as these two can save it.

The Purge: Election Year is the third movie in the Purge series, focusing upon the upcoming race for President of the United States (which, by the way, happens in May, according to the movie. The sequence at the end with the election coverage really was weird.) Elizabeth Mitchell’s character Senator Charlie Roan was a survivor of a horrible Purge incident when she was a child which framed her into the person she was now… a crusader against the Purge. She is running on the platform of repealing the Purge.

This, of course, puts the Purge supporters into a tizzy, and they plan on sending some Neo-Nazi bad guys to grab the Senator and kill her on Purge night. Frank Grillo reprises his role of Leo Barnes (at least I think he reprises the role, as he was only ever called “Sergeant” in The Purge: Anarchy), who is the head of Senator Roen’s security detail.

We also meet Joe Dixon (Mykelti Williamson), a local deli owner, whose shop lost its Purge insurance the day before the Purge commences and he decided that he had to protect his property. There were several other characters in Joe’s orbit, but none of them are worth the time to talk about. Joe was okay, but he felt like a catch-all character. When they needed a funny line about white people, he spit it out. When he needed to be a former gang member (which isn’t stereotypical at all…sarcasm), he was breaking out the gang whistle.

That is, of course, except for the worst of the worst: Candy Bar Girl. This girl who tried to steal a candy bar from the store, was downright hilarious. I know that wasn’t what they were going for here, but everything about this woman was laughable. It was an insult to amateur actors to call this acting amateurish. Watching her eyes bulged out, covered in blood, Candy Bar Girl showed everything that was wrong with this movie in just a few scenes.

The dialogue of the film was horrendous. Outside of Senator Roen and Leo (and maybe Joe), there is not one developed character. I was pretty surprised that the members of the NFFA (the organization that was in power and brought the Purge to America) didn’t twirl their villain mustaches like the villains of old. These villains were nothing more than people to be evil and to say “Purge and Purify.” There was not one shred of character development from any villain, including Senator Roen’s presidential opponent, Minister Edwidge Owens (Kyle Secor).

There really wasn’t any horror here. As I said, I found myself laughing quite a bit. There was no tension. Even when Leo had to pull a bullet from his own shoulder, there was little tension (and the bullet from the shoulder was done 100 times better by Sawyer on LOST- pre-Juliet days. Bringing the review back to LOST.) This would be a perfect film for the RiffTrax gang to riff.

None of the action stood out in my mind. Sitting here, I cannot think of one exciting scene of action that took place in The Purge: Election Year. The only things that I remember are the over-the-top cartoon aspects of the movie. And that might be okay if the film doesn’t try to take itself so seriously. However, this is not a spoof or a parody. It is intended as an action film with horror aspects. And it failed in that.

Hopefully, we can all purge from this series of films from now on.

1.8 stars

The Neon Demon

Posted on June 26, 2016 by Doc

WTF????????

I mean….

WTF????????

The Neon Demon is one weird ass movie. There is just no denying that.

16-year old Jesse (Elle Fanning) is in Los Angeles, looking to begin her career as a model. And Jesse has that something special that everyone is after. They describe it in the film as beauty, non-tampered with and real. She becomes the belle of the ball immediately, drawing the ire and the jealousy of the other models with their plastic surgery induced faces.

Then, the film takes a rapid nose-dive into territory that might befit a horror movie, including some huge eyebrow raising moments.

Yes, there was a cougar (literal cougar, not an older woman on the prowl for younger men) that broke into Jesse’s room at the rundown hotel where she lived. Thankfully, she was able to get her landlord, Keanu Reeves, to take care of the animal.

Yes, Keanu Reeves is in this movie as a lowlife landlord. He is not on screen for long, but we really grow to have a severe dislike for the man. The film was not trying to be subtle with the characterization of Reeves’ character, that was for sure.

Actually, there was very little in characterization. The models were all stereotypical, shallow and superficial. The agents and photographers were all one-note.

The only character who had anything of interest besides Jesse was make up artist Ruby (Jena Malone), but she descends into a spiteful and horrid creature for little reason, completely spoiling the seemingly caring woman that she had displayed. She dove directly into the weirdness with one of the more disturbing scenes of her and a dead body. Yes… that is what I mean.

Now, the film may have been narratively challenged, but the visuals were astounding. Every shot was beautifully compiled and photographed, the colors and shades a perfect balance. Director Nicholas Winding Refn created a feast for the senses in The Neon Demon. Even though there were some scenes that I had no idea what was happening, it always looked amazing.

Even with the lack of characterization and the questionable story (we never did really find out why a 16-year old was alone in LA), I was enjoying the visual storytelling going on and would have probably recommended this…until… the end.

To say that the last 20 minutes of this film altered everything would not be too strong of a statement. I assume that Refn was using the events of the ending of this film as an analogy for how the modeling perfection eats up the young and innocent, requiring the girls to become something not quite human to survive. However, he took this analogy into too much literal ground for me, robbing the film of any subtly it may have had.

The image at the end of this film with the model and the eyeball that was laughable, if it weren’t so grotesquely shocking.

Elle Fanning is a beautiful young actress that has a great career ahead of her despite this weird movie. The film has amazing visuals throughout (especially Fanning), but the lack of characterization, story and too many WTF moments really dragged down anything that The Neon Demon was trying to accomplish.

2.5 stars

Year in Review 2014

Posted on June 26, 2016 by Doc

Previously Published

Animated Movies.

In last year’s review, I wrote about the lack of great animated movies. Last year, the top animated movie on my list was the direct to DVD DC film Flashpoint. And number two was Disney’s Frozen. After that, there was nothing special about the animated films. I had hoped that the movie world would do better in 2014.

Man, did they ever do better.

I am so amazed at the list of animated films from this year. I have a list of eight films that are excellent, and several of these would be ranked higher than either of the top two from last year. In fact, several of these animated films will (most likely) find their way onto the list for the top films of the year.

That does not mean that all of the animated movies were hits this year. Rio 2, Planes: Fire and Rescue, Legends of Oz… were not winners.

But there were plenty of fantastic films. Here are my top eight.

#8 The Book of Life

#7 Boxtrolls

#6 Penguins of Madagascar

#5 Batman: Assault on Arkham

#4 Mr. Peabody and Sherman

When this first came out, I gave it five stars. I probably overestimated this film, but I was caught up in the nostalgia of the moment. I used to love the cartoons featuring Mr. Peabody. And this new feature was very well done. I was entertained. It may not have been able to maintain a five star rating, it was still excellent. And it is good enough for number four.

#3 The Lego Movie

One of the first animated films of the year and The Lego Movie was original, creative, touching and just all around awesome. The Lego Movie had an ending that you were not going to see coming. A film like htis wound up on number 3 on this list. That speaks even more for the top two movies.

#2 How to Train Your Dragon 2

The sequel to the surprise hit took this series to a new high. How to Train Your Dragon 2 was such an amazing movie. Emotional, amazing characters, beautifully drawn. This was one of those rare animated movies because the main character Hiccup was allowed to grow up. Most animated characters are frozen in time. Hiccup grew into a young man. And this was his journey to adulthood. It was a special movie.

#1 Big Hero 6

And this year’s number one animated movie was a property loosely based on a Marvel comic. Big Hero 6 was such a fun time, that even a little predictability in the plot did not detour my enjoyment. Baymax and Hero’s relationship was unlike any other relationship of the year, and Baymax is clearly a breakout character for Disney. Full of excitement, humor and adventure, Big Hero 6 even had awesome Marvel Easter Eggs. Torpedo. Sleepwalker. I mean… awesome. Plus, there was a Stan Lee cameo. Add it all up, and you have one of the best movies of 2014, and certainly the top animated movie of the year.

So, Hollywood… let’s see if you can top 2014 in animation. I challenge you to improve in 2015. Can you do it? I hope.

Big Year for EYG Hall of Famer Weird Al Yankovic

Mandatory Fun came out this year. That was the newest Weird Al Yankovic album (and perhaps his final album in this format). Weird Al came out with a great idea to promote the album.

8 videos in 8 days.

Starting the day prior to the album’s release, Weird Al released the first video from the new record, “Tacky” the parody of “Happy.”

Then, he went ahead and released the next video the following day. And then another. And another.

Eight straight days of videos by Weird Al, all produced by different groups. Each one had a different feel. It was awesome.

This help make Mandatory Fun Weird Al’s first ever #1 record on the Billboard chart.

This was after Al appeared as Sir Isaac Newton in the YouTube series, Epic Rap Battles of History. And it truly was epic.

2014 was a great one for Weird Al. Here’s hoping that 2015 keeps up that trend.

Reality Television

Ok, so … this is not my most favorite category. Even though the explosion of reality television shows no signs of stopping, I simply do not enjoy the brand. However, there are a few shows that have catered to my tastes. You won’t be seeing any The Voice or Dancing With the Stars on this list, but you won’t see any travesty such as The Kardashians or whatever the show with Honey Boo-Boo is called.

I have five shows that I am including on the “reality” television list for 2014.

#5 Monday Night Wars (WWE Network)

Yeah, this cheats a little. It is more of a documentary series than a reality series, but it is really done well. It is a fascinating look into the battle between WWE and the WCW from the late 1990s. The WWE called this time frame “The Attitude Era” and the WCW was being dominated by the NWO. Each episode focuses on something different (Bret Hart and his troubles, Mick Foley, The NWO, etc) and it truly caught the excitement of the time.

#4 Comic Book Men (AMC)

Kevin Smith and his crew from Jay and Silent Bob’s Secret Stash, a comic book store in New Jersey. The group of geeks debate questions from comics as well as look to haggle over the neatest collectables anywhere. This is on too late to see regularly, but thankfully, Netflix has episodes to watch.

#3 Finding Bigfoot (Animal Planet)

AROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Yes, the foursome do pretty much the same thing every week. Yes, the show is repetitive. However, it is still fun. And one of these days…maybe Bobo will stumble across a sasquatch. That would be awesome.

#2 The Talking Dead (AMC)

Again, kind of cheating. This is not as much of a reality show as it is a recap show, but it is my list and I can cheat if I want to. Chris Hardwick from The Nerdist is the host of this show that airs immediately after each new episode of The Walking Dead is shown and they have celebrities and cast members comment on what they have seen. The guests have ranged from CM Punk to Marilyn Manson and you never know what you may see.

and #1 is as big of a shock to me as to anyone.

Legend’s House (WWE Network)

I had no intention of ever watching this. I could only see how it could go wrong. However, I found myself watching one episode with a friend one night, and I could not believe it. It was funny! I mean…really funny. Not funny like the WWE sometimes thinks they are, but legitimately, laugh out loud, funny. It starred multiple former WWE superstars (Roddy Piper, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Tony Atlas, Gene Okerland, Jimmy Hart, Pat Patterson, Hillbilly Jim, and Howard Finkel) placed in different, weird situations. That sounds horrible, right? That’s what I thought too. But it was great. These wrestlers were witty. They were irritated with each other. They were real. That last one was a real surprise. The season finale of this show where the superstars sit around a dinner table and tell the others the worst thing that happened to them was amazing television. I had tears in my eyes. Jimmy Hart’s confession (and Hacksaw’s subsequent reaction to) about his daughter’s death was as powerful as any scripted television program you will find. Pat Patterson’s revelation of his sexual orientation was done well too (although it was one of the worst kept secrets anywhere.)

Congrats to the WWE Network for putting together a reality show with fake personas who showed more emotion than you would ever expect.

What else is the Internet for…but to create Internet Memes?

And clearly, there were two that were the top memes of 2014.

One came after Captain America: The Winter Soldier and it was the Hail Hydra meme that even we here at EYG have joined in with.

And, of course, the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge…another one that I, personally, participated in. As did countless celebrities as well as men, women and children across the country.

icebucket

Horror Movies

Horror

2014 has been a very bad year for horror movies. As I am compiling my lists, some of the ones that I have placed on the good list were really not that good. But they were better than some of the truly bad ones that came out this year. Several of the truly bad ones will also find their way onto the worst movies list later this month.

Now, I have not yet seen The Babadook, which by all accounts, could be one of the best horror movies is years. It currently has a 98% on Rotten Tomatoes. Wow. Still, it was not come anywhere near where I can see it, but I am looking forward to seeing it.

Otherwise, the horror movie genre is just plagued by the same formulaic stories, cardboard characters and jump scares everywhere.

And my list does not even include Leprechaun: Origins starring WWE wrestler Hornswaggle. I am sure it would be near the top of any terrible list.

Here they are.

Best Horror Movies of 2014 (so far)

#5 Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones. See this is how bad this list is. When I saw this, my overall feelings were summarized by this: “It isn’t as bad as the last one.” Hardly a rave review.

#4 The Purge: Anarchy. Another sequel that was not terrible. Not terrible… that is the qualifications for the 2014 Best Horror Film list.

#3 Tusk. Kevin Smith’s dark dark dark film that is as much of a dark comedy as it is a horror movie was another that I wasn’t sure belonged in this category. It is more uncomfortable than anything else.

#2 Oculus. This one was pretty decent. A WWE film, Oculus did spend some time on character development, though I think it missed its opportunity to really turn into a mind warping film by taking some easy choices.

#1 As Above So Below. This was the best horror film of a weak year, but this was a real surprise. The trailers of this movie looked so terrible, but the film itself was very enjoyable.

Now, the worst horror movies of 2014. There are seven listed.

#7 The Quiet Ones. I had to look back to see what this film was about. It was not terrible, but pretty forgettable.

#6 Dracula Untold. Dull and boring retelling of the origin of Dracula.

#5 Annabelle. The prequel of the really good movie, The Conjuring, Annabelle was dull as can be and downright stupid.

#4 The Pyramid. My most recently reviewed movie, this felt more like a Scooby-Doo mystery gone wrong.

#3 Ouija. Making a horror movie without, you know, anything that is scary. Easily the most boring horror movie of the year.

#2 Deliver Us From Evil. It is hard for me to believe that this is not the worst horror movie of the year. Jim Morrison’s favorite film comes in second behind….

#1 I, Frankenstein. This one is in contention for worst overall movie of the year, so it has to top this list as well. Just terrible, terrible, terrible.

So there you have it. The few best and the many horrible horror films of the year. Hopefully, The Babadooks will be great and have all kinds of success and Hollywood will take notice.

Or maybe it will be terrible and overrated and Hollywood will just keep cranking out the garbage. BY seeing some of the trailers for upcoming horror films such as The Woman in Black 2, Insidious Chapter 3 and Alone, I am afraid the garbage crank is the way they will go.

We lost many greats in the world of comedy, movies, music, television and sports in 2014. Rest in peace to all of you and thank you so much for the laughs and the memories!

2014RIP

Have to add one today. RIP Joe Cocker

Top Television Programs of 2014

We are in a renaissance of television! Whether you watch the tv show on the broadcast networks, on basic cable, on premium cable networks, on DVR, on Netflix or any other manner, the best television is happening right now.

I have had plenty of years where I would have struggled to fill a list of ten television shows. I am about to present the Top 24 shows of 2014. And there are plenty of shows that I do not watch that many would consider within this list. I did not watch Breaking Bad, despite this being its final season. I was thinking about catching up on Netflix but I have not found the time. There is Arrow, which is extremely popular among the Geek world. Modern Family is an Emmy winner every year. I used to watch Revenge, but not any longer. Entertainment Weekly just had their list of top ten shows which included Transparent (Amazon), Rectify (SundanceTV), Please Like Me (Pivot), Louie (FX), Inside Amy Schumer (Comedy Central), Mad Men (AMC), Game of Thrones (HBO), The Good Wife (CBS) and Hannibal (NBC) that did not make my list.

All this is to say that we are in a Golden Age right now. So many awesome shows.

So here are the Top 24 shows in my opinion from 2014.

#24 Penny Dreadful (Showtime)

I have not seen the entire season of this show, but the early episodes were extremely dark and graphic. The world of literature came alive in Victorian England. The Monster’s death early in this season was one of the biggest shockers on any show.

#23 Under the Dome (CBS)

This second season of Under the Dome was very inconsistent. There were times when I thought the show’s pacing was just terrible. It would go from one episode to another and things would be happening too fast. I stuck it out, and the season improved near the end. Still, this one slipped from last season and needs to improve to maintain my viewing in an increasingly overloaded television landscape.

#22 Gotham (FOX)

I have found Gotham inconsistent so far this season, after debuting with a lot of hype. Some episodes (such as Penguin’s Umbrella) were amazing and others were poor. The dialogue has room to grow, but the casting of the show is excellent. Gordan, Harvey Bullock, Oswald Cobblepot are three perfect characters and the strongest part of this show.

#21 Grimm (NBC)

I enjoy Grimm on Friday night, but there are some problems with the show. This season had a new Grimm (Trubel) and they took the Grimm powers away from Nick. Both of those seem to be corrected now as the show moves forward.

#20 Flash (CW)

The new super hero show has started well. Barry Allen is very likeable. The special effects look good. The show does seem to focus on the “villain of the week” thing too much, but hopefully, it will continue to improve.

#19 Blacklist (NBC)

So still awesome, I have had this show slip a bit since last year (where it was at #5). James Spader is still amazing, but the show’s mysteries feel like they have gotten old, and the whole Berlin saga was nowhere near as dramatic as it could have been. However, the exploding Alan Alda was amazing.

#18 24: Live Another Day (FOX)

Jack Bauer is back and better than ever. And now he is out saving London. This “limited series” was full of classic 24 moments and plenty of characters yelling “dammit!” Copy that.

#17 Once Upon A Time (ABC)

This show has been up and down as well, but it gets credit for a great hero (Emma) and one of my favorite characters anywhere (Mr. Gold). This season’s Frozen story arc has been solid, but the Wicked Witch last year was even better.

#16 Orphan Black (BBC)

Just an awesome show that is down the list probably because of the lack of new episodes. Tatiana Maslany is a revelation in the title role(s).

#15 How to Get Away With Murder (ABC)

This one was a recent watch. I caught up viewing this and found myself engaged with the characters and the twists and turns. Viola Davis is fantastic. This one is hot, and could be much higher next year.

#14 Gracepoint (FOX)

Another limited series (10 episodes) that follows the investigation of the murder of a young boy. With some elements of Twin Peaks and Picket Fences, this was a very interesting show for me. The ratings are low, but the quality is high.

#13 Big Bang Theory (CBS)

Consistently funny with characters who I have grown to love. There have been a few missteps along the way, but this is still the best sitcom on television.

#12 Whose Line Is It Anyway? (CW)

This show can be as funny as ever. They did seem to rely on guest stars too much. On the episodes without the guest stars, the shows have been perfect. They need more hoedowns, that is for sure.

#11 True Detectives (Showtime)

This is how good I think TV has been. One of the best shows of last season does not make the top ten. Matthew McConaughey has been on fire the last few years, and he shows remarkable chemistry with Woody Harrelson.

TOP TEN

#10 Fargo (FX)

The remake of this movie into a mini-series was a risk, but the show was brilliant. Amazing performances from Billy Bob Thornton and Martin Freeman did not overshadow the performances of Allison Tolman and Colin Hanks. Fargo reminded me very much of Twin Peaks and I am looking forward to another story.

#9 Sherlock (BBC)

Yes there are only three episodes in each season, but these hour and a half episodes are like mini movies. And the second episode this season (The Sign of Three) was one of the best episodes of any show.

#8 Bates Motel (A & E)

This show has gotten better. The development of young Norman Bates into a psychotic killer is a sad thing, because we really like him. The performances of Vera Farmiga and Freddie Highmore are Emmy worthy. And Norman’s brother Dylan has become the heart of the show.

#7 American Horror Story (FX)

I had not been a huge fan of Coven, but it was still good. However, Freak Show has been outstanding. Jessica Lange as Elsa Mars is one of the top characters of the year. Elsa’s performance of David Bowie’s “Life on Mars” in the series debut was one of the highlights. I also loved Twisty. Nothing wrong with a killer clown.

#6 Orange is the New Black (Netflix)

The first Netflix program on this list is the women’s prison show that has one of the top ensemble casts around. This season the show became more of an ensemble show, though there is still plenty of story for Piper. Orange is shocking on its typical days.

#5 Castle (ABC)

Castle slipped a little this year when, in the season finale, they make it look like Rick Castle has been involved in a fiery car crash on his way to the wedding. That was a misstep making the fans, who had waited for Castle and Beckett’s wedding for multiple seasons, wait even longer. However, the show runners did not make them wait long as the duo got married early in season seven.

#4 House of Cards (Netflix)

This is just awesome. I absolutely love this series with its political drama. Kevin Spacey is perfect as the slimy Francis Underwood. He does so many rotten things,but I just do not want to see him get caught. Robin Wright is Emmy worthy as Francis’s wife. The moment when Francis tosses Zoe in front of the train may be the biggest WTF moment of the year. Binge watch this one if you haven’t seen it yet.

#3 Scandal (ABC)

Another political behind the scenes show, this time with a female lead. Olivia Pope is a gladiator. I have to say though that I do not like her with President Fitzgerald Grant. I find him to be a waste. I like Jake so much more. And the episode where Silas broke down after his husband had been killed… that is just heartbreaking. Scandal is consistently good, each and every week.

#2 The Walking Dead (AMC)

This has been the number one show for the last several years, and this year it slips to number two. There were dramatic moments such as when Carol shot Lizzie, the death of Beth, and the continued development of the characters. The words “look at the flowers” will forever be tainted now. The Walking Dead continues to make this world feel deadly dangerous as they continue to kill characters the world loves. After a highly emotional winter finale, I wouldn’t be surprised to see The Walking Dead back on top next year.

and #1

Agents of SHIELD (ABC)

Last year, this show was at #7, and I wrote about the show struggling early, finding its footing. Then, Captain America: The Winter Soldier came out in cinemas, Hydra was revealed to have infiltrated SHIELD, and the show took off. From that moment until now, Agents of SHIELD is easily the best show on tv. It is must see. The addition of Bobbi Morse (aka Mockingbird) has only upped the ante. And the reveal that Ward was Hydra has turned a white bread and boring character into one of the most compelling psychotic characters on television. I mean, Ward has killed his brother and his parents, all the while having some weird connection to Skye. Oh, and by the way, Skye’s father is here and he is Kyle MacLachlan, and he could be an Inhuman. The Kree is here. And it even has given us plenty of nightmare juice (with the brain surgery of Coulson). Agents of SHIELD is a lynchpin in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

Marvel’s Agent of SHIELD will give a break for Marvel’s Agent Carter. If it can match this show, that would give Marvel two awesome shows. I can’t wait.

More Television

Best Actor in a shortened season:

3. Martin Freeman (Fargo)

2. Benedict Cumberbatch (Sherlock)

Kevin Spacey (House of Cards)

These are the kings of the shortened seasons. House of Cards being the longest of the three shows. (Heck, Sherlock only has 3 episodes). Still, there is no denying that these are some powerhouse performances.

Best Actor in a regular run season:

3. Nathan Fillion (Castle)

2. Jim Parsons (Big Bang Theory)

James Spader (Blacklist)

It is getting harder and harder to find a full season of any television program. The shortened seasons have become the norm as seven of my top ten shows are shortened seasons. James Spader is still mesmerizing to watch as Red Reddington, despite not having the best material this season.

Best Actress in shortened season:

3. Melissa McBride (The Walking Dead)

2. Jessica Lange (American Horror Story)

Tatiana Maslany (Orphan Black)

Tatiana Maslany is just masterful on Orphan Black. She plays several characters and she does it so well that you forget that these are characters played by the same actress. Jessica Lange is classy as hell playing some of the meanest and nastiest characters on AHS. And Melissa McBride had an amazing year as Carol, with one of the most compelling moments of the series as Lizzie was told to watch the flowers.

Best Actress in regular run series:

3. Ming-Na Wen (Agents of SHIELD)

2. Stana Katic (Castle)

Kerry Washington (Scandal)

We got three kick-ass women here. Olivia Pope, Kate Beckett and Melinda May. Now there would be a trio to have on your side.

Best Late Night Show: The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. I technically have not watched this, and I was tempted to give this to The Colbert Report in its final season (and that episode with President Obama doing the Word…I mean the Decree, outstanding), but Jimmy Fallon has most of the buzz and many great moments. And I have seen several highlights on the web. Jimmy Fallon has found his niche.

Best Daytime Show: General Hospital. This has been consistently strong all year long. And then it has weeks of just out of this world energy and amazing acting. The week of Carly and Franco’s non-wedding, which umbrellaed into Michael finding out that his adopted father Sonny had murdered his biological father AJ…well, that week (or two) of soap opera is about as good as the medium can get.

Best Animated Series: Another year where I am struggling to find any animated television show to mention. I do not watch any of the current shows on television, and I am not a huge fan of the Avengers Assemble. That is probably it, after a weak crop.

Best Death:

Sam Keating (How to Get Away With Murder)

Vee (Orange is the New Black)

Jerry Grant (Scandal)

Beth (The Walking Dead)

Zoe (House of Cards)

Best Death of the Year: Lizzie (The Walking Dead)

It was a great year for deaths, I guess. And I actually could see #2 & 1 flipping spots. Zoe’s toss in front of the train was such a shock that I simply did not see coming. However, it was just outshone by the sad and beautiful work by Melissa McBride putting down the completely crazy child on The Walking Dead.

Looking forward to the most: Marvel’s Agent Carter. Marvel track record says this is gonna be awesome. So do the clips that I have seen so far. The eight episode mini-series that will be shown during Agents of SHIELD’s break is a brilliant idea, taking the popular character from Captain America: The First Avenger and expanding it. Should be all kinds of fun.

Show that fell flat: Sleepy Hollow. I really liked this show, but there was just something that kept me from continuing to watch it. I had to catch the episodes on Hulu, and it just got tougher and tougher to make sure I watched. Until I juts did not watch any longer.

Best Show I do not watch: Veep. Sounds like something I would really like. Maybe some day.

Podcast of the Year: Colt Cabana’s Art of Wrestling, for one particular interview. Colt had his close friend CM Punk on his podcast and had Punk tell his story of why he left the WWE. He hadn’t spoken about it since he left in January. And the Thanksgiving special “broke the Internet.”

Best Couple:

The Underwoods (House of Cards)

Frank and Claire Underwood are the definition of a power couple and Kevin Spacey and Robin Wright are amazing in this roles. Castle’s newly married pair are always fun and enjoyable. I so much prefer Olivia with Jake, which leads to my next category….

Worst Couple

Olivia and Fitz (Scandal) I so hate these two together. I do not see what anyone sees in them. I think Fitz is a grad A jerk. His excuse about being the President is just lame. He is a cheater. He is not a good guy. Olivia deserves much better.

Midseason Finale Shake Up from Agents of SHIELD!!!!

So…what happened on the midwinter finale of the show I listed as number one for the year? Hm, let’s see….

SPOILERS ABOUND AHEAD….

BE WARNED

LAST CHANCE

Here we go…

There has been much speculation that with the blue alien that helped save Coulson and Skye, and we found out for sure last week that the alien was Kree. And there has been a lot of speculation that the alien city that the agents kept talking about was Attilan. And there has been a lot of speculation that, with Inhumans on the Marvel Cinematic Universe future movie list, that Agents of SHIELD would be used to help bring these characters to the forefront of the MCU.

Boy howdy, was that true!

Last night, we learned that Skye was indeed an Inhuman (by her mother side), and that her real name is Daisy. That means something to Marvel fans, as there is a character by the name of Daisy Johnson, aka Quake, who is a member of SHIELD is the comics. Moreso, Daisy Johnson is the daughter of super villain Mister Hyde. Last night, Kyle MacLachlan confirmed on the show that his character’s name is “Cal”…which made everyone perk up. Mister Hyde in Marvel is named Calvin Zabo.

So everything was falling into place.

And then Marvel hit us over the head with it.

The season’s macguffin, the Obelisk, wound up in the hidden city, opened up, showed crystals coming out, and released a mist. Yes the word “Terrigen” was not mentioned, but that is absolutely what we saw.

And as the Terrigen Mist surrounded Skye (aka Daisy) and Raina, they were coated in a hard cocoon of sort. This is the transformation. When an Inhuman comes of age, they are given the choice to be exposed to the Terrigen mist. If they are exposed, they gain the powers that they were destined to gain. In Skye’s case, she gained the power of Quake.

Now, Quake in the comics is not an Inhuman. This feels like Marvel’s end run around the “Mutant” problem (FOX owning the rights to the term mutants for the X-Men movies). I have a feeling that Inhuman will become the MCU’s version of mutants.

Back to the show, Raina seemed to be changed into some kind of cat creature. (Tigra, perhaps?) Unfortunately, Trip, who was also in the room with the ladies, was not so lucky and wound up dead.

Then, in the post credits scene, we see a blind “inhuman” talking to someone on the phone. This is most likely Reader. And he told the person on the phone that there was another one awakening.

Agents of SHIELD has been a chameleon over the last season and a half, changing appearance as to what the MCU needs. Now it looks like it is meant to help create buzz for Inhumans. And buzz it did.

wwe

The world of professional wrestling for 2014

Wrestler of the (half) Year

Daniel Bryan: Unfortunately, Daniel Bryan, who had an amazing first half of 2014, went down to injury in June and hasn’t returned since. The problem was that the WWE really went downhill after that. So to say that part of that was the absence of the one time American Dragon would not be too out of line. I have missed Bryan, and the match quality has suffered. Hopefully Bryan can get himself back before too long in 2015. Runner Ups: John Cena, Brock Lesnar, Dolph Ziggler

Tag Team of the Year: The Usos. Jimmy and Jey had a very strong year, finally breaking through the WWE glass ceiling and becoming one of the more popular acts on the shows. They have been consistently entertaining and have had great matches. Runner Ups: Gold and Stardust, The Wyatt Family, Miz and Mizdow.

Moment of the Year: Daniel Bryan Occupy Raw. Daniel Bryan got screwed over at the Royal Rumble, not even being included. That started off a minor revolt in the audience of WWE. They wanted Bryan to get what he deserved. CM Punk had left, and the Wrestlemania plans had to be changed. And Bryan, bringing the fans into the ring to “Occupy Raw” to get what Bryan really wanted. It was an epic moment. Runner Ups: Sting arrives at Survivor Series, Daniel Bryan wins WWE World Championship, The Undertaker’s Streak ends.

Woman of the Year: AJ Lee. She was the top diva all year long. She was a crazy chick, who took some time off to get married. She is still the best female wrestler in WWE, although her days may be numbered. AJ is awesome. Runner Ups: Paige, Charlotte, Lana

Feud of the Year: Shield vs. Evolution. The current faction against one of the top factions from the past. They had a couple of classic matches early in the year. Unfortunately, that was going to be the end for the Shield as they were broken up soon after. Runner Ups: Daniel Bryan vs. Authority, Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins, Bray Wyatt vs. Dean Ambrose.

Breakout Star of the Year: Seth Rollins. Mr. Money in the Bank has been a focal point of the WWE programming for the last half of 2014. He is one of the top performers in the company. He is The Future, and he can have great matches with everyone. Runner Ups: Roman Reigns, Dean Ambrose, Sami Zayn, Rusev

Mike Man of the Year: Paul Heyman. Easy. Going away. Heyman had to carry several feuds by himself on the microphone because his client (the reigning, defending WWE World Champion) Brock Lesnar was absent much of the year. When RAW was in Chicago and the crowd was ready to revolt without CM Punk, the WWE sent Paul Heyman out to cut a promo. And Paul masterfully handled that Chicago crowd. There is no one even close to Paul Heyman.

Biggest Waste of Talent: Cesaro. I don’t understand this. At Wrestlemania 30 this year, Cesaro won the Andre the Giant Battle Royal and the crowd was so ready to get behind him as a top level face. But the WWE instead put him with Paul Heyman, leaving him a heel. And then they spent much of the year burying him. The WWE has a performer in a rabbit suit get more time on screen than Cesaro. Vince McMahon said on Steve Austin’s podcast that Cesaro was missing something. Yeah Vince, it is called the support of the office. This is one of the top stars in your company, if you let him be.

The Daniel Bryan Shining Through the Crap Award: Damien Sandow. Daniel Bryan had been given so many crappy gimmicks and storylines to work, and yet he made them all work and the crowd loved him all the more. So he gets a memorial award in his honor. And no one fits in this more than Damien Sandow (now called Mizdow). He came out week after week in stupid costumes and acting other other wrestlers. Then he became the Miz’s stunt double, imitating everything Miz did. Sounds like a huge fail right? Except Mizdow approached it with such passion that the crowd ate it up. It is the most ridiculous thing ever, but Mizdow is making gold out of the turds. I think even the WWE is going to have to sit up and take notice.

Best Show: NXT. RAW has not been good. I haven’t watched Smackdown much. NXT is consistently great with great wrestling and great young talents. This gives me hope for the WWE future.

Top Ten matches of the year. Honestly, I had trouble finding ten matches for this list. I was not impressed with the match quality this year. Limited Bryan. No Punk. What do you expect.

#10 Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks. The best diva match of the year. It was from NXT Takeover R Evolution. You may see a pattern.

#9 Shield vs. the Wyatt Family @ Elimination Chamber. Two great factions. The fans were involved. Awesome match.

#8 Cesaro vs. Sami Zayn @ NXT Arrival. Cesaro is amazing. Their 2 out of 3 match last year was one of the best matches of the year. This one wasn’t quite as good, but their chemistry was fantastic.

#7 Team Cena vs. Team Authority @ Survivor Series. The main reason is that Dolph Ziggler overcame a 3 on 1 disadvantage to win this match. Sting showed up too. But Ziggler was the real star.

#6 Daniel Bryan vs. HHH @ Wrestlemania 30. The first match of Daniel Bryan’s Wrestlemania that got him into the main event. HHH put him over clean. That may have been the biggest news of all.

#5 Dolph Ziggler vs. Luke Harper @ TLC. This was an Intercontinental title match and it was a brutal ladder match that stole the show. Dolph is ready to shine.

#4 Daniel Bryan vs. Batista vs. Randy Orton @ Wrestlemania 30. Daniel Bryan’s WWE World title vicotry. Batista tapped out. One of the greatest moments of the year and Daniel Bryan’s Wrestlemania moment.

#3 Daniel Bryan vs. Bray Wyatt @ Royal Rumble. Daniel Bryan third match on this list and this is his best. He brought out the best in Bray Wyatt as well.

#2 Shield vs. Evolution @ Extreme Rules. The first match between these two factions and they were amazing.

#1 Sami Zayn vs. Adrian Neville @ NXT Takeover: R Evolution. One more NXT match. Sami Zayn defeated Adrian Neville to finally earn the NXT Championship that he chased for so long. This match was fantastic, and was a wrestling match. Both men did a great job with the high spots and also telling the story of the match. Both men have bright futures in the main roster when they finally get called up.

Villains!!!!

If you have been a regular visitor to the WYG, you know that I am a big fan of the villains. I am a big believer that if you want to have a hero, you have got to have a well thought out, villain that makes sense. That doesn’t always happen. Many times the villains do not reach the level of the hero. That is a problem. So here are the top ten villains of 2014.

#10 Snow Queen (Once Upon a Time)

Once Upon a Time had a bit of resurgence this year with a Frozen-themed series of episodes, using the myth that Frozen was based upon as inspiration. And even better, they cast the magnificent Elizabeth Mitchell (once LOST’s Juliette) in the role. Mitchell brought layers to the villain through every moment and she transcended the story at the end.

#9 Vee (Orange is the New Black)

Lorraine Toussaint arrived in the prison oranges when Orange is the New Black returned for season two on Netflix and she immediately started messing with everyone. She manipulated and she cajoled. She messed with the other inmates heads to get what she wanted…power. And she wound up paying karma in the end. I really wanted her to get what was coming to her, and that tells you how good a villain she was.

#8 Red Skull (Marvel Comics)

The Red Skull returned to Marvel Comics a few years ago and took the brain of the deceased Charles Xavier. With this, The Red Skull became a master mentalist and began spreading his hatred across the Marvel Universe. One of Marvel Comics’ big events, Axis, featured the fallout of Red Skull.

#7 Twisty (American Horror Story: Freak Show)

TV Guide gave Twisty the Clown a “Jeers” in their latest issue, and I couldn’t agree less. They indicated that he was just too scary when they said “…he’ll live on in our nightmares forever. Not cool, Ryan Murphy. Not cool!” It seems odd that a show called American Horror Story is being chastised for having a villain too scary. I loved Twisty, and see him as the new generation’s Pennywise.

#6 President Snow (Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1)

Donald Sutherland has done a great job creating President Snow on the big screen. His creepy, slimy persona is a perfect foil for our hero Katniss Everdine. And he has a definite chance to make this list again next year as he faces his comeuppance.

#5 HYDRA (Marvel Cinematic Universe) and Ward (Agents of SHIELD)

Marvel Studios threw their cinematic universe into a tizzy when it revealed in Captain America: Winter Soldier that the evil agency known as Hydra had been infiltrating SHIELD for years. And we also found out that our own Agent Ward was a member of Hydra (along with plenty of others as well…we’re looking at you, Gary Shandeling!) #HailHydra became on of the biggest Internet memes out there. Agents of SHIELD was forever changed (and in a really good way.)

Hail Hydra!

#4 Oswald Cobblepot (Gotham)

One of the best things about the new Batman-prequel show Gotham is the young version of the Penguin. Oswald Cobblepot, played by Robin Lord Taylor, is an amazing find. Gotham has been up and down this year, but Cobblepot is always fantastic.

#3 The Winter Soldier (Captain America: The Winter Soldier)

One of my favorite moments of the year occurred in a movie theater while I was watching the new Cap movie. When The Winter Soldier was revealed to be Bucky Barnes, Cap’s old friend and partner who had been presumed dead during World War II, a theater goer gasped. I, of course, already knew that Bucky was the Winter Soldier from the comic books, but it made me smile that they were able to surprise some people who had not known that truth. Sebastian Stan should be back in the MCU at some point, and may wind up less villainous.

#2 Pappa Pope (Scandal)

I really hate this guy. However, he is unbelievable as Olivia Pope’s secret agent daddy. Poppa Poe is not only a secret agent, he instructs the secret agents and runs the program that turns them into vicious assassins. And he does it without batting an eye. He is so far ahead of anyone else on Scandal it almost makes you pity the heroes. Of course, you can also see where Olivia gets it from.

#1 Lorne Malvo (Fargo)

Billy Bob Thornton came to television this past year in FX’s Fargo, the remake of the popular movie. He was chilling as Lorne Malvo, the hitman who rode into town and turned it upside down. The way he could switch gears and fool people with his guile was both amazing and creepy. There are real people like Lorne Malvo and that is what is the most fearsome thing of all.

Oh, and as a special addendum to the list of villains, I need to add these people. On General Hospital, there is a group of seemingly impossible to kill characters that Luke Spencer (the real one) has dubbed the League of Doom. They get a special notice for the list of villains this year.

LOD

Top 6 Movie cameos of 2014

The movie cameo is one of the most fun part of some movies. The chance to see one of our favorite actors/actresses/characters appear like an Easter Egg gives us happy giggle thoughts. Here are the top cameos of the year.

And, of course, if you haven’t seen any of these yet…. SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!

#6 Tom Hiddelston (Muppets Most Wanted)

There were plenty of cameos in the newest Muppet movie but Hiddelston was the best one. Short and quick, it made everyone remember why we loved him as Loki.

#5 James Franco (The Dawn of the Planet of the Apes)

James Franco appears in a video that Caeser discovers in the attic of the old house where he lived before and it is a beautiful scene that really helps to humanize the ape.

#4 Howard the Duck and Cosmo (Guardians of the Galaxy)

Howard the Duck and Cosmo were both found within the Collector’s “museum” along with many other neat cameos (but apparently not Beta Ray Bill!) Howard also made quite an impact in the post credit scene. Many people were upset that the post credit scene was used to show our old feathered fowl, but I thought it fit the spirit of the Guardians of the Galaxy perfectly.

#3 Doc Brown (Million Ways to Die in the West)

This was the ONLY thing good about A Million Ways to Die in the West, and this cameo was spoiled by the advertising. This could have been an epic cameo if not for the spoiler. It was good to see Doc Brown once again.

#2 Hugh Jackman (Night at the Museum: The Secret of the Tomb)

I laughed extremely hard at Hugh Jackman (or as Lancelot put it “Huge Ackman”) during his appearance as Hugh Jackman playing King Arthur in a stage presentation of Camelot in Night at the Museum: The Secret of the Tomb. When Jackman struck his “Wolverine” in response to Lancelot’s challenges, I thought I might wet myself.

#1 Stan Lee (Big Hero 6, Guardians of the Galaxy, Captain America: Winter Soldier)

The King of the Marvel cameo struck three times this year, with his surprise inclusion in the animated Big Hero 6, playing Fred’s father. We see him at first in a portrait of the family, and then in Big Hero 6’s post credit scene. His other two appearances were just as awesome. Stan Lee has been on this list since I started doing these year in review and he shows no signs of letting up.

The rumor was that James Gunn wanted Stan’s cameo in GotG to be inside the Collector’s museum, where the generalissmo would flip the bird to the team entering. They decided since Star Lord does the same thing earlier (in the lineup) that Stan should just stick to the “old pervert” as Rocket said.

I missed one. Robert Downey Jr. was remarkably funny in Chef.

2014 saw some great tv music again. Especially in unlikely places. Last year, there was The Name Game on American Horror Story. This year it is David Bowie’s Life on Mars, performed in a German actress by Jessica Lange.

And “Gods and Monsters” again performed by Elsa Mars (Jessica Lange)…living like Jim Morrison.

Marvel Comics Top Ten Comics of the Year

Yes, I do not read other comics besides Marvel Comics, so my list will be exclusively from the House of Ideas. Anyone out there who wants to add a list of our new EYG Hall of Fame member DC Comics, please feel free. As for my list:

#10 Moon Knight.

#9 Nova. Nova was number one last year. It has been down a bit lately, though I still enjoy Sam Alexander.

#8 Daredevil. Daredevil moved to San Francisco after Matt Murdock took the stand and told the world that he was truly Daredevil.

#7 All-New X-Men. This is another one that has slipped a bit, but continues to be solid performer. They had a Shi’ar trial of Jean Grey this year, plus went off to see Miles Morales.

#6 Thor. This is new, but so far very intriguing.

#5 Miles Morales, The Ultimate Spider-man

Miles Morales and the Ultimate Universe survived Galactus and continues to thrive (for now.) The Ultimate Spider-man is one of Marvel’s most consistently entertaining titles.

#4 Original Sin. The top event series of the year. This was more interesting than Axis. And I was excited to find out which Marvel character offed the Watcher. Brutal at times, Original Sin paid off in the end.

#3 Ms. Marvel. The newest namesake of Ms. Marvel is Kamala Khan. Kamala has quickly become a fan favorite and she had one of the best team ups with Wolverine this year.

#2 New Warriors. This is a sad number two because Marvel has ended this series at #12. I really found this book exciting, funny, well written and full of potential. I hope the New Warriors will return someday soon.

#1 The Amazing Spider-Man

Was there any doubt? After a long 30 issues of a “Superior” title, the Amazing Spider-man, the real Peter Parker, returned to reclaim his life, reputation and image. And now, Spidey has to deal with countless alternate reality versions of himself in Spider-verse. It has been a fun ride having the real Peter back. Here’s to many more years of fun.

Top Geek Moments of the Year

#15 WWE Network launches. There had been plenty of rumors and false starts before, but this was when it started, and for just $9.99 a month. The success of the project is still up in the air and not what the WWE wanted, but it cannot be argued that this is a great value for wrestling fans.

#14 Monty Python reunites for the “last” time. The EYG Hall of Fame troupe reunited earlier this year to have some special events, including one broadcast live across the planet. It was reverent, funny and touching. Monty Python may be finished performing together, but they will live forever.

#13 NPH to host the Oscars. If there is one host with the most, it is Neil Patrick Harris. He has hosted the Emmys. He has hosted the Tonys (several times). But this year, it was announced that NPH will be hosting the Academy Awards. And fanboys everywhere celebrate.

#12 iPhone 6 released. Apple continued its winning streak with the release of a couple of new smart phones. And the public ate them up.

#11 Daniel Bryan wins the WWE World Championship at Wrestlemania 30. The biggest show of the year saw the culmination of the greatest underdog story ever. Daniel Bryan (who some say was only involved in this main event because of CM Punk’s departure) was able to get Dave Batista to tap out and become the champion. His title reign was cut short because of injury, but he will always have the moment.

#10 Stephen Colbert chosen to replace Letterman, ends the Report. When David Letterman announced his retirement from his late night show, there was a lot of speculation about who may replace him. CBS looked to Comedy Central to the Colbert Report. Stephen Colbert, who on the Colbert Report, is a character based on Conservative pundits (like you may see on FOX News). According to sources, Stephen will be himself on Late Show.

#9 Watcher killed. In Marvel Comics crossover event, Original Sin, Uatu the Watcher was killed. The series then looked to solve the mystery of who pulled the trigger. Turns out that it was the original Nick Fury who did the deed, and, in the end, was transformed into a Watcher-like presence on the moon.

#8 SHIELD is HYDRA. In the Marvel Cinematic Universe, it was revealed in Captain America: Winter Soldier that the terrorist organization Hydra, that was believed to have been destroyed in World War II, had actually infiltrated SHIELD and had grown inside the spy organization for decades. The revelation in Cap 2 sent shockwaves through Agents of SHIELD as well as the entire MCU.

#7 Weird Al Yankovic has a number one album on Billboard and releases 8 videos in 8 days. Weird Al released his newest studio album, Mandatory Fun, and, in a way to promote it, he released eight videos from the album, one a day, on the internet. It was a brilliant strategy as Mandatory Fun became Weird Al’s first #1 album on the Billboard charts.

#6 Guardians of the Galaxy becomes biggest movie of the year. Over $770 million dollars world wide. Can you believe it? A movie with a talking raccoon and a walking tree is the biggest movie of the year. Marvel Studios is on quite a roll, but the fact that it was an amazing movie helps. Congrats to James Gunn and the cast. Now, Hunger Games : Mockingjay Part 1 may eventually pass GotG, but that does not take away from this achievement.

#5 Marvel and DC announce their slate of movies. DC released their list of future movies including Justice League, Aquaman, Wonder Woman, Cyborg, Suicide Squad. Not to be outdone, Marvel released their list which included Inhumans, Dr. Strange, Avengers Infinity War Part 1 and 2, Captain America: Civil War, Thor: Ragnarok. Amazing.

#4 Marvel Comics find some diversity. Some claim that it is a gimmick. A Publicity stunt. And it may be. However, so far, both have been interesting. The African American Sam Wilson (formerly the Falcon) has become the new Captain America, and Thor has now become a female. Add to this the new Muslim Ms. Marvel and Marvel Comics is really looking to show the world the diversity of their characters.

#3 Star Wars cast revealed and teaser trailer launched. There had been very little Star Wars news, and then they released a photo of the cast that sent the Internet into a tizzy. And then, later in the year, the Star Wars teaser trailer became the most viewed trailer of the year. This just means that the world is excited about a new Star Wars.

#2 Robin Williams. The death of the iconic comedian and actor was one of the worst news items of the year. It was a terrible tragic event that came out of nowhere. Ironically, the send off that Williams’s character Teddy Rosoevelt (from Night at the Museum) received at the end of the sequel was a tender goodbye to the great star. RIP.

#1 The Sony hacks. So much has come from this. A group of hackers broke into emails from Sony in protest of the Interview, a movie about James Franco and Seth Rogen going to North Korea to assassinate Kim Jung-un. There was so much revealed in the hacks, things such as Spider-man movie information (Marvel wanted Spidey back for Civil War), Ghostbusters 3 (Sony thought about suing Bill Murray for his comments), among many other things.

Worst of all though, was the threats made that said that there would be 9/11 style attacks on theaters if The Interview was released. Theaters bailed on Sony forcing the company to cancel the planned Christmas release. President Obama criticized the company. North Korea denied any involvement.

We have not yet seen the end of these Sony leaks and what may come out from them.

Update to the Interview… reportedly Sony has okayed a Christmas release for The Interview in limited theaters after all.

https://deadline.com/2014/12/interview-release-back-on-christmas-so…

John Carter

This year there is a tie for the prestigious John Carter Memorial Award. This is given out to the biggest “flop” of the year. Flop can be defined in several ways. Many films flop because they fail to make money. Some flop because of critical panning. Some flop because they were just horrid.

According to Wikipedia:

In the motion picture industry, a box office bomb or flop is a film that is viewed as highly unsuccessful or unprofitable during its theatrical run, sometimes preceding hype regarding its cost, production, or marketing efforts.

So who has received this EYG Award in the past. Well, this is the third year of this award and so far, the award has gone to the award’s namesake (2012) and The Lone Ranger (2013).

However, in 2014, two flops join this assembled list. They are a follows:

A Million Ways to Die in the West

Expendables 3

A Million Ways was Seth McFarlane’s follow up to the surprise monster hit Ted, so there were a lot of high expectations for the western. A Million Ways failed to live up to any of these expectations… in a tremendous manner. Plus, it was just a bad movie.

Expendables 3 was not as bad of a film as A Million Ways, but it truly underperformed at the box office. The Expendables 3 focused its attention on a group of younger characters, pushing the reason why everyone was there (seeing the old 80s actions stars team up) out of the equation. Plus, the PG-13 rating hurt the feel of this movie.

“Congratulations” to this year’s “WINNERS”.

Best Sci Fi

This was a tough category.

Mainly because there were a lot of films that could have fallen into the category that I had to consider. In the end, there were a group that I decided to not include. These include Guardians of the Galaxy, Godzilla, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, Mockingjay Part 1, Interstellar. All of these could be considered Sci-fi, but I eliminated all of them for one reason or another. (Most of these will be seen again somewhere.) The main reason was I wanted to stick to two each. So that leaves me with the following:

Best Sci-Fi movies of 2014

Edge of Tomorrow

Snowpiercer

Worst Sci-Fi Movie of 2014

Transcendence

Lucy

Edge of Tomorrow (sometimes referred to as Live.Die. Repeat) was the biggest surprise of the year. It looked so bad in the trailers, and it turned out so good. Snowpiercer was a near perfect film with an amazing performance from Cap himself, Chris Evans.

Both Lucy and Transcendence were huge disappointments. Neither one took their intriguing story set ups to effective places.

Honestly, there were many more “EH” sci-fi films than great ones or bad ones. Earth to Echo, The Giver, Maze Runner, Divergent were all films that had some good moments to them, but none of them really stood out.

Disappointment

A disappointing movie may not necessarily mean that the movie is a bad one. In fact, there have been several movies over the years in which I liked but the movie was just not as good as it could have been.

I have continued the trend of naming these year end awards by dubbing this one the “Spider-Man 3 Disappointment of the Year”. I couldn’t think of a greater movie to represent disappointment than Spidey 3, which was coming off the heels of the best Spider-Man movie ever.

So, here are the top ten, biggest disappointments of 2014.

#10 Hercules. The Rock’s film about the demigod was ok, but it could have been so much better. I liked the set up with Herc, having real world solutions for his feats of strength, but there just wasn’t enough of a kick for it.

#9 A Most Wanted Man. As one of Phillip Seymour Hoffman’s final films (the final one with him as a lead), this was such a disappointment. It did not show the talents of the man effectively and the story was deadly dull.

#8 The Giver. I saw this on premiere night and it may have suffered from the news of Robin Williams’s death. Or it just may not have been very good. Either way, a classic book deserves more than what it got.

#7 Rio 2. I really liked the original Rio but the sequel was just more of the same. In a year where animated movies being awesome was the norm, this one was just a placeholder.

#6 Noah. Russell Crowe in the lead role and some great animation made this a potentially great film. Giant rock creatures that had come form angels….not so much.

#5 This is Where I Leave You. I look at the fantastic cast and wonder how this could not hit a home run. At best, this was a duck snort single (keeping with the baseball metaphors).

#4 Monuments Men. Another great cast. The story was easy to follow and understand. The characters were likeable. And yet, there was just something that made this film disappointing. It was too bad.

#3 Lucy. This may have convinced Marvel Studios not to go ahead with the solo Black Widow film. Lucy was a mess, and after looking forward to it, that was the definition of disappointing.

#2 Interstellar. Some of you will disagree with me. I would expect that this might even end up on several “Best Movies” lists. And I really enjoyed the first part of Interstellar. However, the final act just dove into a realm where the rest of the movie had not gone. The sci-fi finale just dis a disservice to the rest of the film.

#1 Amazing Spider-Man 2. Here is a good example of a film that I liked, but is still a disappointment. After that opening night viewing, I knew that I was disappointed, though I convinced myself that it was not as bad as I thought. I still think the sequence with Gwen’s death was done very well. However, too many villains are shoehorned into the story. Electro was Batman and Robin-esque bad. ASM 2 has Sony reconsidering what to do with the rights, perhaps entering into some sharing agreement with Marvel Studios. If that is truly the case, then maybe this is not a disappointing movie after all. Maybe it is a necessary evil.

Gomer

The Gomer will now be given out to the biggest surprises of the year past. These are movies that I did not expect to enjoy, or even movies that I thought I would hate. Whether it was because of a terrible trailer, a previous film that was no good or a certain actor, surprises are always awesome. I love it when I go into a film thinking that this will be a waste of time and I actually end up having a good time.

So, 2014’s Gomer Award goes to….

Edge of Tomorrow starring Tom Cruise.

Edge of Tomorrow (which has been re-dubbed “Live. Die. Repeat” on the blue ray) was an amazing movie, and the biggest, most pleasant surprise of the calendar year. The trailers for this film looked just horrendous. It looked like another Oblivion meets Elysium. Whoever green lit those trailers should be fired immediately, because they hurt the film’s business. Thankfully, word of mouth did help out. Edge of Tomorrow was funny, exciting and thrilling…and the biggest surprise of the year.

Runner Ups

Night at the Museum: The Secret of the Tomb

Walk Among the Tombstones

As Above So Below

Horrible Bosses 2

I had trepidation about all of these films, but I really liked them all. Night at the Museum featured a very emotional (though admittedly unintentional) scene involving Robin Williams working for it. That goodbye scene with Williams’ Teddy Roosevelt character was one of my favorite scenes of the year. Walk Among the Tombstones looked like just another Liam Neeson movie, but it actually took many different steps. That was great to see. As Above So Below was my favorite horror movie of the year after a trailer that looked just terrible. Any though I liked Horrible Bosses 1, I had a real bad feeling about 2. Thankfully, I did enjoy myself with in.

And one more on this list as well. Another one of the runner ups fro the prestigious Gomer is The Drop starring Tom Hardy. I had zero expectations for this film and it will wind up on the best film of the year list. (where? hm…you’ll have to wait)

The EYG Star of the Year- 2014 Edition.

staroftheyear

These are the top six performers/entities/people who we consider the top of the top in the geek culture for the past year.

#6 Stephen Colbert.

Stephen has been a great late night host for many years as the host of The Colbert Report, Comedy Central’s faux FOX News show. However, this year, Colbert stepped out from behind the conservative curtain and accepted the position as replacement for the retiring David Letterman on the CBS show, The Late Show. Stephen Colbert has been playing a character named Stephen Colbert for many years (dating back to a correspondent on The Daily Show) that it will be fascinating to see if Stephen Colbert can succeed as Stephen Colbert. And how long before he has Poppa Bear (Bill O’Reilly) on the Late Show?

#5 Jimmy Fallon.

Jimmy Fallon took over for Jay Leno this year and really made the Tonight Show his own. He brought such fun to the stage as Lip synch challenges with celebrities, evolution of dancing skits, singing of all flavors among others. And he has all the great stars who are willing to do these silly things with him. The barbershop quartet with Justin Timberlake singing Bringing Sexy Back was hilarious. The Tonight Show is in good hands.

#4 Michael Keaton.

A return of sorts, as the star of one of the best movies of the year returns to his roots. Birdman brings the former Batman back to the front of the movie world in a film that feels very biopic-y. Keaton did leave a huge super hero movie series, just like the character he played in Birdman did. However, the Broadway play he is working to put together is astonishingly funny, and Keaton has to be a favorite for an Oscar.

#3 Weird Al Yankovic

His first number one record (Mandatory Fun), eight videos released on the Internet in eight days. Weird Al has had one of the greatest years of his long and illustrious career. And now that he is not tied down to a record deal, perhaps we will be hearing more from the king of weird moving forward.

#2 Martin Freeman

This year alone he has been Bilbo Baggins, Dr. John Watson and Lester Nygaard. That is the final Hobbit movie, the ongoing BBC tv show Sherlock and FX miniseries Fargo. Freeman has shown his versatility in his differing roles as well as his acting chops. Last year, his Sherlock mate Benedict Cumberbatch made this list (well deserved) and now Freeman joined him. I can’t wait to see what he tackles next.

#1 Marvel Studios

They really have us in the palm of their hands. Kevin Fiege and the rest of the talented people over at Marvel showed us again why they are such masters. They put out a film, Captain America: The Winter Soldier that completely revamped their cinematic universe. Their TV show, Agents of SHIELD started slow, but built amazing momentum after the Captain America movie. They made over 750 million worldwide on a virtually unknown property The Guardians of the Galaxy. They brought movie journalists together to announce their Phase 3 series of movies which included Dr. Strange, Black Panther, Captain Marvel, The Inhumans and Avengers Infinity War Part 1 & 2. They annoounced that Cap 3 would be Civil War and that Robert Downey Jr would be in it. They announced Chadwick Boseman for Black Panther, Benedict Cumberbatch as Dr. Strange. They continue work on the Netflix series Daredevil while casting Jessica Jones and Luke Cage. They release a teaser trailer for Avengers: Age of Ultron that was only surpassed in views by the new Star Wars one. They continue to rock ComicCon in Hall H. Agent Carter will debut in early 2015. They have a plan and everything is related. They have us in the palm of their hands. And not only do they have us, but they keep putting out quality products. Marvel Studios is the studio that everyone wants to be. They have to be number one.

Music

Movie Music

Music is a vital part of the movie going experience. These are the five top songs from this year’s movies.

#5 Everything is Awesome (Lego Movie) performed by Shawn Patterson, Tegan and Sara

#4 Agony (Into the Woods) performed by Chris Pine & Billy Magnussen

#3 Immortals (Big Hero 6) performed by Fall Out Boy

#2 Interrogation Song (Muppets Most Wanted) performed by the Muppets and Ty Burrell

#1… Ok, I know this is cheating, but number one this year is a whole album. The Awesome Mix Tape Vol 1 was a huge importance in Guardians of the Galaxy, and the songs on this Mix Tape really set the tone for the film. Each one is truly awesome, and so… the Awesome Mix Tape Vol. 1 gets the number one spot.

Kid Actor

There were several movies this year that gave prominent roles to young kids. This is always a danger as if you have a young child actor who cannot act, and you place hm/her in a major role in your movie… your movie will suck. Fortunately,. there are excellent kid actors out there and there were several who filled their roles admirably.

Our winner of the Child Actor of the Year Award goes to….

Emjay Anthony from Chef.

Emjay had a major role in the excellent film Chef and without his skill and talent, Chef would not have been anywhere near as good of a film as it was.

Not only did he have a major role, but he was in a movie that also had Dustin Hoffman, Scarlett Johansson, Robert Downey Jr, John Leguizamo, Oliver Platt,and Sofia Vergara.

However, most of his most important scenes in Chef were played against his on-screen father, Jon Favreau. The connection between these two truly made this film. Young Emjay played the unintentional rejection of his father with such soul and subtlety, he brought layers to the film. The expressions the boy showed were better than many adult actors. He felt natural. He felt real. He was full of charm and that translated to the screen. Emjay Anthony is one of the main reasons why Chef will find its way into the top ten movies of the year for me. (tease for later)

This actor has a bright future ahead of him. If I were Marvel Studios, I would be looking at this kid to play my new Nova. Emjay could absolutely carry off Sam Alexander.

Runner ups: and we have several because there were some really good performances from young kids this year.

Jaeden Liebenhen (St. Vincent)

Rohan Chand (Bad Words)

Ellar Coltrane (Boyhood)

Daniel Huttelstone (Into the Woods)

Quvenzhare Wallis (Annie)

Mackenzie Foy (Interstellar)

Ed Oxenbould (Alexander and the…Day)

Liebenhen was a powerhouse acting with Bill Murray in St. Vincent. I really enjoyed the young Indian Rohan Chand with Jason Bateman in Bad Words. He was very funny in that. Ellar Coltrane is not a child actor any more. When he started Boyhood, he was a child actor, but now he is a young adult. Filming over a time span of 12 years would do that to you. Wallis and Huddelstone both had to sing as well as act, Wallis being one of the best things about Annie. Mackenzie Foy grew up during Interstellar and became Jessica Chastain. Oxenbould was the lead star in Alexander and the movie title that goes on forever. And he did a very good job

director

Best Director of the Year!

#6 Wes Anderson (Grand Budapest Hotel)

#5 David Fincher (Gone Girl)

#4 The Russo Brothers (Captain America: The Winter Soldier)

#3 James Gunn (Guardians of the Galaxy)

#2 Richard Linkletter (Boyhood)

#1 A.G. Inarritu (Birdman)

Best Supporting Actor and Actress 2014

There are some wonderful supporting actors during films this year, but I suspect that there are some who should be on this list that I will not have…mainly because I have yet to see their films. JK Simmons from Whiplash( who it sounds like might have the Oscar lead at this moment), Steve Carell and Mark Ruffalo from Foxcatcher, Josh Brolin from Inherent Vice, Tom Wilkerson from Selma to name a few of the actors. On the actress side there is Jessica Chastain for A Most Violent Year, the different actresses from Foxcatcher among others.

So here is my current list of Supporting Actors & Actresses.

Best Supporting Actor

# 7 The combined voice talents of Bradley Cooper and Vin Diesel as Rocket and Groot (Guardians of the Galaxy)

#6 Sam Mackie as Sam Wilson, the Falcon (Captain America: The Winter Soldier)

#5 Peter Dinklage as Bolivar Trask (X-Men: Days of Future Past)

#4 Bryan Cranston as Joe Brody (Godzilla)

#3 Zach Galifianakis as Jake (Birdman)

#2 Dave Bautista as Drax the Destroyer (Guardians of the Galaxy)

Supporting Actress

#7 Scarlett Johannson as Natasha Romanov, the Black Widow (Captain America: The Winter Soldier)

#6 Rene Russo as Nina Romina (Nightcrawler)

#5 Laura Dern as Bobbi (Wild)

#4 Keira Knightley as Joan Clarke (The Imitation Game)

#3 Eva Green as Ava (Sin City:A Dame to Kill For)

#2 Tilda Swanson as Mason (Snowpiercer)

and the #1 Supporting Actor and Actress for 2014 both come from the same movie: Birdman.

They are Edward Norton and Emma Stone

Batman and Robin

Here are the Batman & Robins… the worst awards of the movie season.

Worst Actor in a Film: (TIE) Kellan Lutz (Legend of Hercules), Nicolas Cage (Left Behind)

Worst Actress in a Film: Olivia Cook (Ouija)

Worst Special Effects in a Big Budget Film: The Pyramid (for the Jackal headed God/Monster)

Worst Animated Film: Cars: Fire and Rescue

Worst sequel of the year: (TIE): Transformers: Age of Extinctions, A Haunted House 2

Worst Elvis Imitator: The Identical

Worst Movie that I haven’t Seen: Let’s Be Cops

If Only We were as Good as Sharnado Disaster Movie: Into the Storm

Why didn’t we just make Ted 2: A Million Ways to Die in the West

Even Jim Morrison hates this Movie: Deliver Us From Evil

Worst Comic Book Based Movie: I, Frankenstein

Best Scene in a Bad Movie: The Death of Gwen Stacy (Amazing Spider-man 2)

Worst Trailer for an Awesome Film: Edge of Tomorrow

Best Trailer for a terrible film: Transformers: Age of Extinction

Buzz Kill of the year: Kim Jong-un (North Korea mad about The Interview)

Best Actresses of 2014

Here is the list of my favorite seven lead actresses in movies this year. Just like the supporting categories, there are some movies that I have not yet seen, like for example Cake starring Jennifer Aniston. She has gotten a lot of Oscar buzz and might have been on this list if I had seen Cake, but it has not yet been in a theater near me.

Here are my list:

#7 Zoe Saldana (Guardians of the Galaxy)

Though Zoe is really more of a supporting actress in the Guardians, she was as close to a lead actress in the GotG and I wanted this movie represented. Zoe does a really fine job with her character and her interactions with Chris Pine is solid.

#6 Kristen Wiig (The Skeleton Twins)

Kristen Wiig, known from her work on SNL, was outstanding in The Skeleton Twins, anything but a happy-go-lucky comedy. Wiig’s lip-synching of Starship’s Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now is a highlight of the film.

#5 Emily Blunt (Edge of Tomorrow)

Emily Blunt showed that she could be the kick ass action star with her turn as Rita in Edge of Tomorrow. She had great chemistry with Tom Cruise and she proved her worth. She also appeared this year in Into the Woods as the Baker’s Wife, a role that helped with this list, but Rita was the main drive for her position.

#4 Amy Adams (Big Eyes)

Amy Adams was one of the best parts of Big Eyes, playing Margaret Keane, a woman whose painting were being passed off as her husband’s work. Adams played this woman similar to an abused wife. Margaret Keane was a real person and Adams did a great job.

#3 Jennifer Lawrence (Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1 and X-Men: Days of Future Past)

Jennifer Lawrence has become a mainstay of this list. She was here last year with not only the last Hunger Games, but also American Hustle. This year, she returned as Mystique in X-Men: Days of Future Past and her penultimate performance as Katniss Everding. Lawrence is quickly becoming one of the best actresses in movies today.

#2 Felicity Jones (Theory of Everything)

Felicity Jones held her own in the film Theory of Everything with her scene partner Eddie Redmayne. Jones played Jane Hawking, the wife of Stephen Hawking. While many people have been talking up Redmayne (with good reason), Felicity Jones is as important to the film as he is. The relationship between the Hawkings are the main emphasis of the movie and she does a wonderful job. It was a much better performance than her turn as Felicia in Amazing Spider-man 2, earlier this year.

#1 Rosemund Pike (Gone Girl)

Rosemund Pike was fantastic in Gone Girl as the not so dead Amy Dunne. About midway through the movie, we find out that Nick did not kill Amy as was thought. Instead, she faked her death. We then got to look at how much of a sociopath Amy Dunne had really been. And Rosemund Pike thrived as the psychotic wife. She was unbelievably compelling and her performance was special. The best of the year.

Best Actors of 2014

Our next category is Best Actor. And for this one, we have ten. As I said earlier, this list does not include several movies such as Selma, Foxcatcher, Whiplash because these films have yet to be shown in my area. I am looking forward to them, but 2014 does not look to be the year for seeing these.

Top ten lead actors are as follows:

#10 Tom Hardy (The Drop)

One of the biggest surprise performances of the year is Tom Hardy’s work in The Drop. He really caught me off-guard with how compelling he was, and this movie was excellent. This was the final movie featuring James Gandolfini, but Tom Hardy stole the show. He completely became this character. I never once thought about Tom Hardy. All I saw was Bob. Excellent.

#9 Ralph Fiennes (Grand Budapest Hotel)

Ralph Fiennes was a hoot in Grand Budapest Hotel, and he was the focal point of the entire movie. Without him, this would not have been anywhere near as successful as it was. Great character and great humorous performance.

#8 Chris Pratt (Guardians of the Galaxy)

Chris Pratt was the perfect choice to play Star-Lord. And because of the role, Chris Pratt is going to become a huge star. He did a fantastic job as our rogue leader of the Guardians, who just wants to dance. Pratt is an original performer and sets the perfect tone for this film.

#7 Chris Evans (Captain America: The Winter Soldier & Snowpiercer)

Everyone knows how much I love Chris Evans as Steve Rogers. I think he is perfect casting, and he was great in Winter Soldier. But he was absolutely brilliant in Snowpiercer. This science fiction movie was a huge star turn for Evans and he showed us an entire range of emotion. Evans keeps talking about retiring from acting to focus on directing, and if that were the case, that would be a terrible loss for the acting world. Can’t wait to see him in Avengers: Age of Ultron and Captain America: Civil War.

#6 James McAvoy (X-Men: Days of Future Past)

Young Professor Xavier had lost his vision. He had lost his legs. He was drinking. He was lost. And James McAvoy was amazing as the disgruntled psychic. It took future Wolverine to convince him to join them. McAvoy showed such range that I believed this man was lost. I am excited to keep seeing this man work his mental mojo.

#5 Benedict Cumberbatch (The Imitation Game)

This was probably Benedict’s best performance in a movie to date. His role as Alan Turing, brilliant codebreaker from World War II and closet homosexual, provided Cumberbatch with awesome material, and he did not disappoint. He elevated an average movie through his performance.

#4 Andy Serkis (Dawn of the Planet of the Apes)

The master of stop motion capture, Andy Serkis returned to Caeser, the top ape of them all, in The Dawn of the Planet of the Apes. Serkis has been amazing over the years, but he was the star of this movie. And the fact that he has not received an Oscar nomination is criminal. He is awesome and everyone knows it. When someone needs help in stop mo-cap, they call Serkis. Rise was an excellent film.

#3 Jake Gyllenhaal (Nightcrawler)

Jake Gyllenhaal completely became this sociopathic Louis Bloom, a sleazy man trying to tape the terrible accidents for the news. Gyllenhaal was absolutely stunning, disappearing into the role. And this is another example of a performance that has elevated the movie to a different level. Nightcrawler would not have been as compelling as it was without him.

#2 Eddie Redmayne (Theory of Everything)

And speaking of transformative performances, Eddie Redmayne did things that I was not sure a human body could do. He was 100% convincing. If I didn’t know better, I would say that he actually had ALS. If this movie were a little more compelling, he would be a shoe in for the Academy Award. The one drawback was that The Theory of Everything was not an incredible movie. It was an incredible performance, but it was another example of a brilliant performance elevating a somewhat average film. Words really cannot express how great he was.

#1 Michael Keaton (Birdman)

Michael Keaton does an unbelievable job in Birdman. He is immediately compelling. He plays the broken down old star of a super hero film like he had experience. Of course, he did, as he left the Tim Burton Batman series after the second film. Riggen was setting up a Broadway show, but he was also hearing voices of Birdman himself. Or was he? Keaton played it with great subtlety and emotion. He may be the favorite for an Academy Award, and he deserves it.

Up next: the list full of vitriol. The worst of the worst.

The Top 20 Worst Films of 2014.

I saw more movies this year than any other year prior, so the number of Worst Films raised this year as well..

I am breaking a rule this year for my DISHONORABLE MENTION because they are Let’s Be Cops and Blended. I did not see either film. Now, it is probably not fair to put these two films on a list of the worst movies of the year when I have not seen them (tough), but, in the case of Let’s Be Cops, two friends of mine did see it and they indicated that it was terrible (big surprise.) I could tell by the trailers of both of these movies that I wanted no part of them. Certainly, both of them would be entrenched on the list if I had seen them. So they get dishonorable mention.

So here are the Top (or Bottom depending on how you look at it) 20 films of 2014.

#20 (TIE) Expendables 3 and 300: Rise of an Empire. Ok, I know this makes it 21, but I could not decide which one of these sad sequels to leave off the list, so I broke down and put hem both here. I liked the original 300, and parts of the previous Expendables, so these films were disappointments.

#19 Mom’s Night Out. An unfunny comedy with Patricia Heaton as one of several moms who needed time away from their families. It also had a definitive Christian theme that got in the way more than it helped. Not family fun.

#18 Brick Mansions. This was one of Paul Walker’s last films, and it is really sad. A dumb action adventure with monstrous plot holes and people doing stupid things. Paul Walker deserved better.

#17 Dumb and Dumber To. A sequel long in the making, should have stayed in the producer’s fantasy. Minimum laughs and too many poop, pee, fart jokes. Dumb and Dumber To did not look to raise the level of comedy up. Instead, it looked to drag the rest of us down.

#16 Into the Storm. Sharknado without the sharks. Boring, cardboard cut-out characters being placed in silly danger. Why should I care if these worthless characters die in the storm? I was actually rooting for some to go.

#15 Dr. Cabbie. Stretching the level of believability to new levels. An Indian med students practicing medicine in Canada out of the back of a cab? Not even Raj from the Big Bang Theory could save this stinker.

#14 Annabelle. The first of several horror movies to make this list, Annabelle was a poor “prequel” to The Conjuring. There was little horror, not even much to be scared about.

#13 The Pyramid. Another failed horror movie. This one had some of the worst special effects of the year (yeah, I am looking at you, Anubis!)

#12 Need for Speed. This goes to show you that just because someone is awesome on a television show (Aaron Paul on Breaking Bad), doesn’t mean he can do the same thing on the big screen. Of course, it could also be the fact that the movie was deadly dull as well.

#11 A Million Ways to Die in the West. I was really surprised when this film slipped from the top ten, because I was sure that it was going to be there. The neat cameo by Doc Brown won out over the non-Elvis and this was #11 instead of…

#10 The Identical. Don’t call him Elvis. This is some weird, Elseworld tale if Elvis’s identical twin lived and also became a great singer. Oh, and their names are not Elvis. Or Presley. Just horrible.

#9 Transformers: Age of Extinction. I had thought that maybe the Dinobots might make this one better. How wrong could I be? Of course, the Dinobots (though they never actually were called that) didn’t show up until very late in the seemingly ENDLESS film. And the product placement… just obscene. This is the worst of the Transformers movies.

#8 Ouija. Another terrible horror movie that was just not scary. This one brings the evil creature using the Parker Brothers game Ouija. No fear and stupid people. Sounds like a great time at the theater.

#7 Deliver Us From Evil. The worst horror movie of the year, this one has some strange fixation with Jim Morrison songs. There are laughable dialogue and even a solid actor (Eric Bana) can save this film.

#6 America. What would happen if George Washington was shot and killed in the Revolutionary War? What would happen to America? The promos to this film asked that question, but it was never answered. It wasn’t even a topic. Instead, it was a right wing hatchet job from Dinesh D’Souza. Insulting, partisan, and borderline racist.

#5 A Haunted House 2. I just watched this on Netflix. I don’t know why I did. I certainly knew that I wouldn’t like it. I hated the first one. I just felt the need to see this. It might have been a little funnier than the first one. Not saying much.

#4 The Legend of Hercules. One of the earliest films of the year, It was such a terrible film that it has stuck with me all year long. The acting, the dialogue, the special effects…all of it was terrible. The Rock’s Hercules was not great, but by comparison, it was like Citizen Kane. The Legend of Hercules was all around a horrible movie.

#3 Persecuted. A preacher who has an important ministry, both on tv and across the nation, will not join up with a senator’s crusade to reform religion. Because of that, the preacher is framed for murder and goes out on the run. Of course, when I think of persecution, the first group I think about is white, Christian men.

#2 I, Frankenstein. Aaron Eckhart had some slight scars on his face, but he was to be seen as a monster here. Well, the only monster involved here is the script. I thought this one might earn the infamous #1 spot this year, but one film was worse…

#1 Left Behind. Nicolas Cage. He was a good actor once. Here he played a pilot who, in the middle of his flight, has to deal with the fact that the Rapture has occurred. Several people disappeared (including all kids) into thin air. These were the good, God-fearing people. The rest of the bad people and the heathens were left on earth. Including our main stars. Hm, what does that say? This was a remake of a Kirk Cameron tv movie so the overall badness should not be a surprise.

Why couldn’t the Rapture have happened before I saw this movie? I had no knowledge of this film at all when I went to see it. I knew as the previews were starting and I saw Kirk Cameron Saves Christmas, and a trailer for some movie degrading evolution that I had made a mistake. Left Behind is the worst movie of the year.

The Top 25 Movies of the Year

Here is the list of the best movies of the year, in my opinion. There are several films that could have made this list that I have yet to see. I guess those will have to wait for 2015.

Twenty-five movies is a new high for the year end list, but 2014 was a great year in films.

And I still have some honorary mentions. Jon Stewart’s directorial debut in Rosewater, the animated Batman: Assault on Arkham, the top horror movie As Above So Below, the surprising LiamNeeson film A Walk Among the Tombstone, and Benedict Cumberbatch’s awesome performance in The Imitation Game.

Top 25

#25. Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1. This film did a nice job of setting up what is sure to be a higher listed film next year. Jennifer Lawrence is wonderful as Katniss and President Snow is just creepy enough. Good things in the future I am sure.

#24 Lone Survivor. This was one from early in the year, and it was a very solid film, also based on a true story. This is the movie with the ultimate spoiler in the title. 🙂 And a very good performance from Mark Wahlberg.

#23 Boyhood. A lot of people had this higher on their lists. I enjoyed it too, but not quite as much as others. I do believe the production of this was a marvel, considering everything that Richard Linkletter went through to get it made.

#22 The Drop. One of the surprises of the year. Tom Hardy is magnificent in this film, and we see the final performance of James Gandolfini.

#21 St. Vincent. A great role for Bill Murray and a different role for Melissa McCarthy. Both are very welcomed. There was also a fantastic performance from the young actor Jaeden Lieberher.

#20 Mr. Peabody and Sherman. I would say that I overrated this when it first came out, although I still loved the movie. The nostalgia hit me pretty hard at the debut of this classic. It was a great year for animation, considering how poor last year was.

#19 Gone Girl. A movie that does an amazing 180 in the middle. At first, you wonder whether or not Ben Affleck killed Rosamund Pike. Then, suddenly you know…and you are amazed at the sociopaths that are on the screen. The perfect example of deserving one another? Pike should get an Oscar for her role.

#18 John Wick. Keanu Reeves is back finally with a strong movie. John wick was exciting, dramatic and very funny. The looks the bad guys would get just at the idea that John Wick was coming after them…priceless.

#17 The Hobbit: Battle of the Five Armies. The final trip to Middle Earth was extremely well done, and a solid conclusion to a film series that probably should have been two movies instead of three. Still, the Smaug battle at the beginning was one of my favorite battle scenes of the year.

#16 Bad Words. Very funny, and very raunchy. Jason Bateman embraces his naughty side in this revenge tale against the culture of the spelling bee.

#15 Nightcrawler. Another film that might be higher on other lists. Not that I didn’t love this one, because I did. I thought it was fabulous. Jake Gyllenhaal is transformative in his performance, just fully becoming the sociopathic Louis Bloom. One of the best performances of his career.

#14 The Lego Movie. When I saw this one early in the year, I was expecting this to be the best animated movie of the year. Little did I know this would only reach number 3 on that list. The Lego Movie had great heart, including a remarkably touching scene with Will Farrell. Creative and enjoyable… everything is definitely awesome.

#13 How to Train Your Dragon 2. One step above the Lego Movie for me was the sequel that saw Hiccup grow to a young man while the relationship between him and Toothless be pushed to the limit and still come through. Where some animated movies keep their characters frozen in place and time, How to Train… advances them into the future.

#12 Nebraska. This was a holdover from 2013, but I had not been able to see it until the early part of 2014. And I loved it. Bruce Dern was awesome in the lead role, and certainly deserved that Oscar nomination he got last year. If you haven’t seen Nebrask yet, check it out on Netflix. It is that good.

#11 Snowpiercer. Another one to stream online if you haven’t seen it. Chris Evans is unbelievable in this sci-fi epic taht takes place aboard a train. This one was nearly a top ten film, as I considered moving it to the #10 slot, but I didn’t.

#10 Godzilla. Yes there were some problems with Godzilla. Some of the human characters were weak, and I would have loved more Bryan Cranston. Some people complained about the lack of Godzilla and fights early, but I liked that. It felt like a slow build. And that payoff…the fight at the end was astonishing. Let’s not forget how bad Godzilla could have been (I’m looking at you Matthew Broderick)

#9 Grand Budapest Hotel. Wes Anderson’s latest film is hilarious, contains a great performance by Ralph Fiennes, and has many of Anderson’s typical entourage of talent. Smart and funny. What a concept.

#8 Big Hero 6. Disney’s adaption of a Marvel property found its way to the top of my animation list, and into the overall top 10. Baymax is a breakout character and his relationship with Hiro was what the entire film was based upon. Plus there was the first ever Stan Lee animated cameo.

#7 Dawn of the Planet of the Apes. The second film in the story of Caeser took new steps in amazing ways. Andy Serkis continued to exhibit his mastery over the character of Caeser and this continued to be full of action, emotion and excitement. I can’t wait for what is next.

#6 Edge of Tomorrow. The biggest surprise of the year was this Tom Cruise film that had a trailer that made it look terrible. I dreaded watching this film, but it was awesome. It was brilliantly executed, was very funny and the gimmick was perfectly carried out. If you missed this film, see it when you can. You will not regret it.

#5 X-Men: Days of Future Past. The X-Men brand has officially been fixed. After the travesties that were X-Men 3 and X-Men Origins; Wolverine, the series rebooted in sense with X-Men: First Class. This took that even further. Who would ever think we would see both young and old Professor Xs looking into each other’s eyes. Everything was linked together with Wolverine, and now we have a new X-Men continuity. Uncanny. And that Quicksilver scene…one of the best of the year…bar none.

#4 Chef. I loved this father-son story starring Jon Faveau and the fantastic young Emjay Anthony. It was life affirming watching these two characters bond again on a trip back from Florida, selling great food along the way. You could almost taste the food. Add great cameos from Robert Downey Jr, Dustin Hoffman and Oliver Platt and you have a true winner.

#3 Birdman. Michael Keaton is officially back. This movie is amazing to watch. The way they make it look like this is one continuous shot is movie magic at its finest. But there is so much more than just the gimmick involved. You had unbelievable performances from not only Keaton, but also Emma Stone, Edward Norton, and Zach Galifianakis as well. This is a great movie.

So…now we reach the #1 movie of the year. If you have been paying attention, you will see that I have skipped the number two spot. That is because I could not decide between two movies for the top spot. So, because this is my list and I can do it if I want, I decided that I would have a 1A and a !B instead of choosing. Cheating? Maybe, but who cares really?

1A. Captain America: Winter Soldier

1B. Guardians of the Galaxy

Marvel Studios’ two releases this year were both unbelievably amazing. Both were more than just super hero movies. Captain America was like a 1970 spy thriller (including a role from Robert Redford) that was tense and full of action. And some of those fight scenes with Cap and Bucky were as well done as you are going to see. Meanwhile, GotG was redefining the space opera, taking the best parts of Star Wars and Star Trek and sprinkling a good helping of Avengers with it. Who would have thought that Marvel could take a movie about a talking tree and raccoon and make it a worldwide hit. 770 million worldwide, and GotG 2 is set up to be a massive hit. And, of course, Cap 3 is going to be Civil War.

Marvel is just hitting on all cylinders right now. Both of these films were so full of fun and humor and action and a good time. Yet, they are anything but the same thing. Marvel has been very diverse in the type of movie they are making, and that shows. People keep asking about the life span of comic book movies, but I say that as long as they keep giving us quality, they will never run out. And these two movies are as good as it gets.

The time for looking back is through. Now, let’s look ahead of us. So much greatness to come…

2015

Year in Review-2012

Posted on June 26, 2016 by Doc

Previously Published

It is that time of the year once again.

It is time to look back over the year that was and to list the best and the worst in the world of TV, movies, comic books, pro wrestling, and more.

Of course, if everything goes away after Dec. 21st, then none of this matters. (Thanks a lot Mayans).

I will be making my lists of the best and worst of 2012. I will only be including movies that I watch on the list of movies. (That means That’s My Boy will not appear.).

I will be doing the best and worst movies after the Christmas season. There are a few movies that I need to see before compiling the list. So to start off, I will begin with the list for the Best Comic Books of the Year.

Now, I am a Marvel fan, so most of this list is Marvel Comics. I have nothing against DC or any independent book out there, but I just do not read much else. So here we go…

#6 Avengers vs. X-Men

The limited series that Marvel based the entire summer on matched its top two super hero teams against each other and brought about the return of the Phoenix force. The series may have been a tad long, but I looked forward to each issue. Some people disliked it. I was not one of those.

#5 The Walking Dead

The one comic on the list that I have not collected is the one that has spawned a huge phenomenon. The Walking Dead deserves to be on any list of the best of the year. So I made an exception and placed it here.

#4 Amazing Spider-Man

The series will end next week with issue #700 and, apparently, with the changing of the guard. But Amazing Spider-man has been great all year long, consistent and enjoyable, thanks mainly to Dan Slott. I hope Superior Spider-Man is as enjoyable.

#3 Captain Marvel

The rebranding of Ms. Marvel also caused some to complain, but I liked it. And the series itself has been original and enjoyable from the first issue. The art has been hit and miss for me, but the continuing adventures of Carol Danvers has placed her front and center in the Marvel Universe, right where she belongs.

#2 Daredevil

Last year, Daredevil was the number one super hero of the year last year according to my lists, and the main reason was because his solo title continues to be fun, light-hearted, enjoyable and the way super hero titles should be. Mark Waid has done wonders for the formerly depressed Man Without Fear.

And #1…

Hawkeye

No really.

This has been a revelation of a comic book. At first, the art seemed too simplistic, but it fit the series perfectly. And so much about this series was perfect. The series tells the story of Clint Barton and his life when he is not being Hawkeye, member of the Avengers. In fact, the comic features Clint out of costume. It deals with creating a life beyond the Avengers for our favorite archer and builds up his relationships that are away from the team. It’s brilliant. Matt Fraction has found an amazing hit with Hawkeye, and the public seems to agree, making Hawkeye one of the surprise hits of the year. Issue number one is already on its third printing and each story becomes more interesting. The art makes the book different and it flows perfectly. Marvel has a definite hit on their hands with Hawkeye. The number one comic of 2012.

Top 5 Television Characters of the Year (OK…six actually)

#5 Captain Hook (Once Upon a Time)

Nothing better than a classic villain to spice things up in Storybrooke. And since in season two, the Evil Queen has not been as evil and Mr. Gold has been tamed by the Beauty, then our brand new villain to join in the fun takes the prize. And he is…Captain Hook (Colin O’Donoghue). In search of the crocodile that took his hand, Captain Hook conspired with Cora, the Queen of Hearts to find his way to Storybrooke, and sparks flew with Emma. Hook is prepared to rock the second half of the season when Once Upon a Time returns on January 6

#4 Rick Castle & Kate Beckett (Caskett) from Castle

Finally! After years of teasing and tantalizing…Rick Castle and Kate Beckett have finally hooked up, and Castle has never been better. Though they have continued to keep their relationship secret (though people keep finding out), they have really shown how much they care about each other. They have an emotional connection and a real life romance. They have shown no signs of falling victim to the “Moonlighting curse”. If Moonlighting had been this well written at the time, it could have survived as well. Worry not, Caskett Fans, the show is in good hands.

#3 Sherlock Holmes (Sherlock & Elementary)

Two actors. One character. Two different takes on a classic detective. Sherlock Holmes is alive and well on television. Benedict Cumberbatch and Jonny Lee Miller have donned the eccentricities of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s classic character and both have brought new life to the role.

#2 Amy Farrah Fowler (The Big Bang Theory)

Amy is one of the most original characters on television, and her relationship with Dr. Sheldon Cooper never fails to bring the laughs. The episode where Amy pretended to be sick in order to have Sheldon pay attention to her (“The Fish Guts Displacement”) was hilarious. “Momma needs a bath.” Amy has brought the goods to the Big Bang Theory, and I hope she stays for years to come. Mayim Bialik was nominated for an Emmy for the role this past year. It was well deserved.

and #1 character on television in 2012 was…

Daryl Dixon of the Walking Dead

Who else? Daryl is one of the best reasons to watch the Walking Dead. In what could have been a one-note stereotypical role, Daryl Dixon has become the show’s breakout anti-hero. One minute Daryl is shooting zombies in the head with his trust crossbow and the next he is feeding Rick’s new baby while Rick is busy talking to his dead wife on the phone. Daryl is believable in both situations. He has shown consistently that he has the best interest of the group in mind and that he cares about each one, no matter how strange it may be. And with his reunion with his brother Merle in the mid-season finale, Daryl should continue to be one of the top characters on the small screen.

Top Ten Television Programs of 2012

#10 Finding Bigfoot

Yes each episode is the same. Yes, the “facts” that they claim are silly and impossible to justify. But there is just something fun about watching Matt, Cliff, Ranae and Bobo wandering about in the woods, whooping, calling, knocking searching for the Squatches. I always imagine the bigfoots in a cave somewhere laughing their hairy butts off as Bobo howls through the night. Even still, I have enjoyed every episode. I think the inclusion of “skeptic” Ranae really helps balance out the other three.

#9 Comic Book Men

I watched Comic Book Men last season and I was not that impressed. The crew of the Secret Stash were entertaining enough, but the show just seemed to drag. Then this year, they changed the format to a half hour show instead of an hour and it helped the AMC show tremendously. And the episode guest starring Stan Lee was great.

#8 Elementary

Sherlock Holmes is huge once again. This take on the classic Arthur Conan Doyle detective is a big hit for CBS. And it creates quite the different dynamic with Holmes (Jonny Lee Miller) and Dr. Watson (Lucy Liu).

#7 Homeland

I am not quite as enamored over Homeland as all the other critics are, but I have to admit that it is good television. Though I cannot see it regularly (I do not have Showtime), the tense action is worth the effort.

#6 Once Upon a Time

I’ll admit I was not overly fond of the Emma and Snow are trapped in Fairy Tale Land plot, but it provided some good scenes. (Though I really wanted to smack Mulan several times). But the best part of the season has been the character development. From Regina, Mr. Gold, Charming, Ruby, Henry, Hook, Dr. Frankenstein… there were just great character moments.

#5 Sherlock

Too short of a season. I want more than three episodes. Especially with the finale of the second season…where Shelock looked like he had killed himself because of Moriarty’s influence. Benedict Cumberbatch is fabulous as Sherlock and Bilbo Baggins himself, Martin Freeman, as Dr. Watson is perfect casting. And the news that Sherlock’s new season will be pushed back to 2014. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

#4 The Big Bang Theory

CBS’s smash hit has been one of the highest rated shows on the air. And it is just a hoot. Every week, Leonard, Sheldon, Raj, Howard, Penny, Amy, and Bernadette provide laugh after laugh…and there are way too many moments to which I relate.

#3 Castle

Last years number one continues to be strong. This season Rick and Kate have entered a relationship and it is an intelligent and fun, real-life relationship. And it boasted one of the best episodes of the year with “Probable Cause” that saw the return of the 3XK. TV doesn’t get that good too often.

#2 American Horror Story

I love this show. The end of last season with the death of the Harmon family was amazing, but this season at the Asylum has been even better. With craziness everywhere (Bloody Face, ex-Nazi scientists, Satanically possessed Nuns, crazy Santa, Aliens, monsters in the woods), the show still features brilliant performances, in particular from Jessica Lange as Sister Jude. The show has legitimate scary images, and is also very funny. It is a great hour of television every Wednesday.

And #1 show in 2012 is…

The Walking Dead

Season three in the Zombie Apocalypse has really found its balance. After a season two that started slow on the farm, the show has been gangbusters ever since zombie Sophie stumbled out of Herschel’s barn. And season three has just been amazing each and every week. Characters we love dying everywhere, showing that the world of the zombie apocalypse is not an easy place to live. The death of Lori during childbirth was as moving as you’ll find. I mean, Lori is a character that I had disliked for awhile now…but the entire set up was so perfectly done that I was upset when she died. And having Carl make sure that she didn’t turn… just heartbreaking.

Plus the additions of the Governor and Michonne have brought some much needed new blood. And they are both really messed up characters…and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

And there are great moment after moment on the show. Rick splitting the convict’s head with the machete, Herschel being bitten and having his leg chopped off by Rick, the return of Merle, the Michonne-Governor showdown over his zombie daughter Penny, Glenn going all bad ass and fighting walkers while being tied to a chair, Rick on the phone with his dead wife, Carl and his ascension to bad ass status… and I could go on.

The show looks great, is unbelievably exciting, and literally, you do not know who will survive. It is epic television and definitely the best show of the year.

I can’t believe that I have forgotten Grimm. That is definitely one of the top ten shows of the year. I’ll sneak it into #6a just behind Once Upon a Time. Grimm is awesome, and I think Monroe should have made that list of top TV characters as well.

Sorry to forget about you, Nick. It won’t happen again.

wwe

Top 10 Professional Wrestlers of 2012

Jeff Hardy
Damien Sandow
Bully Ray
Big Show
Austin Aries
John Cena
Sheamus
Dolph Ziggler
Daniel Bryan
CM Punk

CM Punk has been WWE Champion the entire year and he is one of the best performers in the company. He was a face for the first part of the year and then he embraced the hate and became the company’s top heel. Daniel Bryan had a fantastic year, even after the 18-second loss to Sheamus at Wrestlemania. That loss could have destroyed any other wrestler, but Bryan actually got stronger from it. He may be the most over performer in the company (even more than Cena.) YES YES YES! Dolph Ziggler could be number one next year. His time is on the way and his new love connection with AJ Lee will only make him better. I think his future is as a face though, and I would not be surprised if he turned before 2013 ends. Sheamus has been excellent in the ring all year, though his character is perhaps the biggest bully on the roster. That is how many faces are booked in the WWE though. Cena is still the face of the company, despite having what would have to be considered a down year by his standards. Having him lose more helps his character in the long run, making things less predictable. A heel turn would still be the biggest thing in wrestling if it were ever to happen.

Top Ten Television episodes of 2012

#10 “The Fish Guts Displacement” The Big Bang Theory

Howard is pushed into a fishing trip with Bernadette’s father and Amy pretend to be sick so Sheldon would take care of her.

#9 “The Doctor” Once Upon a Time

We discover the true identity of Dr. Whale and …I never saw it coming. That is always a good trait.

#8 “Mockingbird Lane”

The rebooted Munsters pilot starring Jerry O’Connell that was too expensive for NBC, but was very enjoyable. I wish NBC would have given the green light to this show.

#7 “Judge, Jury, Executioner” The Walking Dead

The season two episode where Dale spends the whole time trying to be the conscious of the group, arguing over the plan to kill their young prisoner, only to wind up as Walker chow. I didn’t see that coming either.

#6 La Llorona Grimm

A great ghost story on one of the most improved shows on tv. Nick and Hank race to try to save innocent kids from the woman of the lake.

#5 “The Origins of Monstrosity” American Horror Story: Asylum

We find out the backstory of Bloody Face as well as the debate between nature and nurture is debated in the only way that American Horror Story can. We also find out that Nutmeg makes everything better.

#4 “The Reichenbach Fall” Sherlock

The third episode of the second season was filled with twists and tension and just an amazing ending. Any time Sherlock and Moriarty can go at it, then you have some great tv.

#3 “Dark Cousin” American Horror Story: Asylum

The arrival of the Angel of Death! Who will accept the kiss from her? And Lana escapes from Bloody Face, but that does not mean there will be good things for her.

#2 “Made to Suffer” The Walking Dead

The midseason finale of the Walking Dead was just off the charts, with the battle between the Governor and Michonne, the rescue of Glenn and Maggie, the reunion between the Dixon boys, and the tensions between the Briarcliff crew and the Prison gang explode. I can’t wait until February.

#1 TIE

“Killer Within” The Walking Dead… and

“Probable Cause” Castle.

I just could not decide which one was the best hour of television this year so… I decided to let them both be top. Killer Within featured the death of T-Dog and Lori and the birth of Lori’s baby. And Castle is framed for murder by 3XK, and everyone believes he is guilty, except for Beckett.

Both of these episodes really featured characters over plot. The emotional aspects of both really stood out and made me care even more for the characters involved.

Top Ten Matches of the Year.

And yes,it will be all WWE matches, as I do not watch much TNA or RoH. Nothing against those two companies. I am aware of the things they do. I just do not watch their matches.

So…on to the list.

#10 Dolph Ziggler wins the Money in the Bank Ladder Match at Money in the Bank.

#9 Big Shot defeats Sheamus to win the World Heavyweight Championship at Hell in the Cell.

#8 Sheamus defeats Daniel Bryan to retain the World Heavyweight Championship in a 2 out of 3 falls match at Extreme Rules

#7 CM Punk and John Cena end in a draw at Night of Champions. Cena becomes the first ever Money in the Bank winner to fail to win the title.

#6 CM Punk defeated Daniel Bryan in a No Disqualification match at Money in the Bank

#5 Two CM Punk vs Chris Jericho matches Punk wins Wrestlemania 28 match and match at Extreme Rules

#4 The Shield defeated Ryback and Team Hell No in a Tables Ladders and Chairs match at TLC.

#3 John Cena defeated Brock Lesnar in an Extreme Rules Match at Extreme Rules

#2 The Undertaker defeated HHH in a Hell in a Cell Match called the “End of an Era” Match at Wrestlemania 28

#1 CM Punk defeated Daniel Bryan at Over the Limit.

Most people would put the Taker-HHH match ahead of Punk-Bryan, but to me, that match was the best of the year. It was exciting, technically sound, and had a creative ending.

So CM Punk appeared in four (or five if you count the two Jericho matches as two instead of one) of the top ten matches, and Daniel Bryan also appeared in four. Unfortunately for Daniel Bryan, he lost all four of the matches.

Other WWE awards for the year

Tag Team of the Year: Team Hell No. They have reinvigorated the tag team division.

Worst Tag Team: The Great Khali and Hornswoggle. Are you serious, bro?

Catchphrase of the year: Yes! Yes! Yes! No matter what the WWE wants you to think, “Feed Me More” is not bigger than the Yes chant.

Diva of the Year: Eve Torres. Not a lot of competition for this one. Too bad Karma is gone. And Beth Phoenix. Eve is good, but there is not much to go with her.

PPV of the Year: Extreme Rules. Just a fantastic night of wrestling. Sheamus vs. Bryan. Punk vs. Jericho. Cena vs. Lesnar.

Worst PPV of the Year: Hell in the Cell. Ryback in the main event? Sorry, not interested.

Online Show of the Year: Are You Serious? Road Dogg and Josh Matthews showing the worst clips in wrestling history? What’s not to love. And Puppet H as well. Sorry Zack Ryder, but this is the real true Internet sensation.

Commentator of the Year: JBL. I am really glad he returned to the announce booth. The commentary truly picked up when JBL came back.

Comeback of the Year: Jerry Lawler. That’s an easy one. Lawler was dead. And now he’s back doing commentary. Amazing.

Worst Wrestler of the Year: Great Khali. He can’t move at all. And yet he appears on tv.

Worst Face/Heel turn: The Miz. Sorry Miz, I love you, but so far your turn as a face has been horrible. I hope things pick up for you in 2013.

Best Face/Heel Turn: CM Punk. Obviously. He is the Best in the World. And that clotheline and GTS on the Rock announced his intentions completely. Runner up: The Big Show, who has been great since he turned heel. If not for Punk, this would have been his award.

Most Overrated: Ryback. I really don’t like this guy. He is boring. Which means he’ll get pushed to the moon.

Next serious stud: Antonio Cesaro. This guy is awesome. I see big things in his future.

Best DVD: CM Punk Best in the World

Best Skit/vignette: Anger Management with Daniel Bryan and Kane. This was absolute GOLD.

Manager of the Year: Paul Heyman… I guess he is more of an associate…but he is a perfect fit with CM Punk.

Next NXT star: Bray Wyatt. He could be even greater than the Shield members. Can’t wait for him to arrive.

Best Feud: Daniel Bryan vs. CM Punk. Two top ten matches of the year, plus a fantastic match on RAW and a great one of Smackdown. What more do you need?

Top 15 Geek Moments of 2012

Last year I had written the top 15 moments in its own thread and counted them down, however, I believe it fits into this thread neatly, so…here they are.

#15 Twilight ends.

Ihave never been a fan of the vampire/werewolf love triangle, emo-hit, but it would be foolish to argue that it was not a pop culture sensation. And the Twilight series ended this year with the Part Two of Breaking Dawn. Whether we’ve actually seen the last of Bella-Edward-Jacob is a whole other question…

#14 The Rock wins at Wrestlemania 28

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson returned to where he got his start, the WWE ring, and, after a year of promtion, had a match with WWE face John Cena. The two of them ran with their rivalry on Twitter and Facebook, and it culminated in a main event at the grandest stage of them all as over 70,000 people in Miami cheered them on. And the Rock stood victorious. And then he went back to making movies.

#13 Justice League movie announced

After the amazing success of the Avengers, the announcement was made this year that DC would be following suit with a long rumored Justice League movie. Exactly who will be included is still up in the air, but a release date of 2015, sometime in the summer. Hm…we’ll see.

#12 Jon Stewart & Bill O’Reilly: Rumble in the Air-Conditioned Auditorium

Late night talk show host Jon Stewart and FOX News No-Spinner Bill O’Reilly had a debate, streamed live onto the Internet, and it was entertaining. The debated about politics, about Obama and Romney, about who was taller…and if you were wondering, Stewart wiped the floor with O’Reilly…all in good natured fun.

#11 James Bond takes the Queen skydiving at the London Olympics

007 himself, Daniel Craig, and the Queen of England filmed a vignette to play during the opening ceremonies of the London Olympics… an vignette that ended with the Queen jumping out of an airplane and supposedly parachuting into the opening ceremonies. It showed how much fun the Queen actually has with life, and it was one of the highlights of the overdone opening ceremonies.

#10 Hunger Games

The huge novel became the years first huge hit at the box office as the Hunger Games translated well on the big screen. The Hunger Games made $155 million in its opening weekend, the biggest total ever for a movie released outside of the summer season, and ended with a total of 686 million worldwide. And this movie series is just getting started.

#9 Neil Armstrong dies

The first man to step on the moon died this year at the age of 82. Neil Armstrong was an inspiration to an entire generation who wondered what it might be like past the stars. For those who gazed at the night sky and thought about what could be, Armstrong was more than just another astronaut. He reached iconic stature.

#8 Amazing Spider-man #700

This hasn’t even happened yet, but the buzz around this issue has been massive. When Dan Slott started dropping hints that something huge was going to happen in 700 and that he might have to go into hiding afterwards, he did not know how prophetic he was being. The speculation that Peter Parker would no longer be Spider-man has been confirmed and now the fans are bracing themselves for the Superior Spider-Man, whomever that may be.

#7 The World Does Not End

Ha! In your face, Mayans! December 21, 2012 was listed as the end of the Mayan calendar, and because of that, there was speculation that the Mayans believed that the world would end on that date. There were lots of posts on Facebook and Twitter on the subject, but in the end, the day passed like all other days. Now, we have to prepare for the next apocalypse…

#6 Marvel NOW

In response to DC’s New 52, Marvel started its own initiative this year, with a restart of multiple titles with all new creative teams. Though not a continuity reboot like DC’s New 52, Marvel NOW featured a shake up of characters and creators. Brian Michael Bendis left the Avengers and took over the All-New X-Men. Rick Remender created Uncanny Avengers and brought back the Red Skull (in a specifically gruesome manner). Following the X-Men vs. Avengers limited series, Marvel NOW has been a hit and miss, but the comic world is definitely talking Marvel.

#5 Walking Dead a ratings monster

The return of the Walking Dead in October of this year was a ratings bonanza. The AMC hit had 10.9 million viewers at 9 p.m. and 15.2 million when factoring in the encore. It was up 50 percent compared to the Season 2 premiere. The Walking Dead was consistently beating network shows. The series has been renewed for a fourth season.

#4 Dark Knight Rises and a tragic day

The opening of the final installment of the Christopher Nolan Batman trilogy was always going to be huge, but the nation was shaken to its core when a nutjob entered a theater in Aurora, Colorado that was playing one of the midnight showings of the film and opened fire. The tragic event scared some, but the American public ventured to the movie anyway, helping the Dark Knight Rises make $160 million that weekend.

#3 Barack Obama is re-elected President of the United States

I have always claimed that Barack Obama was our nation’s first Geek President. I have heard him make comments about Jor-El (in reference to the comparison between himself and Superman) among other things. And when he defeated Republican Mitt Romney in a close election (though not close in Electoral College votes), President Obama became the first Geek President to be re-elected.

#2 Marvel’s Avengers breaks records

$207 million dollars for its opening weekend. Over 1.5 billion for its worldwide total. The Avengers was an undeniable smash, cementing Joss Whedon as King of the Geek Gods. The movie was also fantastic. It was exactly how a comic book movie of such a huge scope should be made. Whedon announced this year that he would sign on for the sequel making Geeks everywhere cheer. Have at thee! Avengers Assemble!

#1 Disney buys Star Wars…announces new trilogy

Who would have believed that the Avengers wouldn’t top this list. Well, when this little news tidbit came along, the Earth’s Mightiest Heroes got pushed to #2. George Lucas sold the Star Wars franchise to Disney for four billion dollars and the announcement of Star Wars 7 to be released in 2015 sent fanboys everywhere spinning. Disney now owns Marvel, Star Wars, the Muppets, Pixar as well as their own creations. Soon Disney will own everything that I love. And I won’t mind a bit.

More television for 2012

Best Actor: Benedict Cumberbatch (Sherlock). Things are just starting to happen for our new Sherlock Holmes, including roles in the Hobbit and in Star Trek Into the Darkness. We’ll remember where we first met him.

Best Actress: Jessica Lange (Sister Jude, American Horror Story: Asylum) Lange brings the goods every week and she is extremely compelling this season as the cruel nun who has had the tables turned on her. She went from cruel sadist to heroine. Redemption? I doubt it.

Best Late Night Show: The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. Still the best. Despite Colbert, Letterman, Kimmel and Fallon, Jon Stewart continues to be the best. There is a reason he takes home the Emmy every year.

Best Daytime Show: General Hospital. What a difference a year makes. Last year at this time, GH was ready to be cancelled. Now it is one of the best shows on TV. Old favorites returned, exciting storylines, and a movement away from mob violence every week have made GH so much better.

Best Couple: Rick Castle and Kate Beckett. This is an easy one. They make a great pair and the show is better for it.

Biggest Drop: Revenge. This season has found this show lackluster and confusing. I had Revenge in the top ten last year as a guilty pleasure. This season I have not been watching it. I hope Emily Thorne can right the boat.

Best Death: Lori Grimes. How do you redeem a character that nobody likes? Kill her, and kill her in the most dramatic and heart wrenching manner so people will forget how she turned on Rick when he revealed that he killed Shane…after she basically told Rick that he had to “do something” about Shane.

Best Animated Series: Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes. I just caught up with this on Netflix. There is just so much Marvel goodness here, including guest star Spider-man. And Galactus. And the Kree. And Red Hulk…as a villain. Too bad this has been cancelled so it can be replaced by a different Avengers series that is closer to the movie.

Worst TV News of the Year: Glenn Mazzara, the showrunner of The Walking Dead, who was the driving force behind the improvements of the zombie show, is leaving the show because he and AMC have “different visions for the show.” Are you kidding me? Mazzara has been in charge of the best stretch of the show…ever. This is bad news.

Looking forward to most: ABC’s new SHIELD show produced by Joss Whedon, starring Agent Coulson. It has a spot on the fall 2013 schedule. Just a lot of good here.

The Save Agent Coulson Award: Agent Coulson. He lives!

Most Improved Show of the Year: Grimm. I was close to stopping watching Grimm. After one particularly bad episode last year, I was close. The next episode was fantastic and saved me as a viewer. Then it kept getting better each week.

Best Election Night Meltdown: Karl Rove refuses to believe that Ohio has been won by President Obama, and continues to argue, even after other FOX anchors were accepting the fact. Poor Karl.

Show that fell flat; 666 Park Avenue. Too bad. Terry O’Quinn deserved better. The high concept never developed, and ABC cancelled the show. Now, ABC announced that they are not even showing the remaining episodes.

Best Show that I don’t watch: Boardwalk Empire. Pay tv channels. Hm… Steve Buscemi looks great in this.

Worst Movies of the Year

Remember, this only includes those movies in which I saw. I am sure that “That’s My Boy” would be near the top, if not at the top, if I had seen it, but I did not. Also, reminder, the star ratings I gave do not matter when I am compiling these lists.

Dis-Honorable Mention: Lockout, The Dictator, Ted, 21 Jump Street, Chernobyl Diaries, Savages, Alex Cross, Act of Valor, John Carter

#10 The Watch: Terribly unfunny movie with Jonah Hill, Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn and Richard Ayoade as a neighborhood watch investigating an alien invasion. Idiots on alert.

#9 Battleship: Ugh. A Transformers wannabe without the Transformers plot…and that should tell you something. This started with one of the worst opening scenes of the year ( a soccer game). And they actually got a scene that was basically like playing the board game.

#8 Taken 2: A major disappointment, because I so enjoyed Taken. But Liam Neeson did everything the same, and there were really stupid people involved. And there will certainly be a Taken 3, since this mess made millions of dollars.

#7 Paranormal Activity 4: Another sequel that has worn out its welcome. PA 4 was not scary, which of course is the worst thing a horror movie could be. In fact, it was unintentionally funny. Too bad PA 4 was so funny, because it stole some of the gusto of Haunted House coming out next month (and a definite candidate for next year’s list). Paranormal Activity 4 just did not have anything going for it.

#6 The Apparition: Another horror movie. Honestly, I don’t remember much about it. It had Sebastian Shaw in it. I hope he does better next year as Winter Soldier. Very forgettable.

#5 Red Dawn: Ah Thor, I hope you have better script choices now that you are a big star. Chris Hemsworth was the only thing good in this retread/remake. North Koreans are invading? Why worry… because they can’t even take care of this small group of kids.

#4 Contraband: Mark Wahlberg starred in this movie filled with stupid bad guys. And a stupid plot. But at least Kate Beckinsale is hot.

#3 Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance: When a comic book movie is this high on my list, you know it is terrible. I usually give the comic book movies every benefit of the doubt, but this one makes the original Ghost Rider look like Citizen Kane. I certainly hope this is the last time Nic Cage tries to take on Ghost Rider. It’s getting embarrassing.

#2 Underworld: Awakenings: This was going to be number one. It had been number one on my list until late in the year. Hey, it’s Kate Beckinsale again! Two of the top four worst movies of the year. Not even Taylor Kitsch can say that. She’s still hot though. I saw this in 3D too. The 3D was almost nonexistent. This was just terrible. I started wishing I hadn’t gone to this 5 minutes in. I was bored by the exposition at the beginning and it went downhill after that. Terrible. And the only reason it wasn’t number one on this list was because of…

#1 The Collection: Another horror movie…this one one of the slasher variety…and easily the worst movie of the year. From the producers of Saw, The Collection was a pointless butchering of disposable characters by a serial killer with absolutely no personality. Nothing redeeming about this movie at all. Just the worst.

Top 12 Movies of the Year

There were so many great movies this year that I just could not narrow my list to only ten, so I expanded it to twelve. It’s my list, I can do that.

Honorable Mention: The Artist, Wreck-It Ralph, Safety Not Guaranteed, Amazing Spider-Man, Tinker Tailor Solder Spy,

#12 The Life of Pi: This was a surprise to me. I did not expect to like this as much as I did, but I was engrossed from the first moments. A beautiful story and a beautiful film.

#11 7 Psychopaths: Funny, intelligent, creative. Filled with great performances like Colin Farrell, Christopher Walken, Sam Rockwell, Woody Harrelson.

#10 Django Unchained: The most recent of the films on this list. Quentin Tarantino’s brilliant western starring Jamie Foxx as a freed slave out to save his wife. Christopher Waltz is amazing as the bounty hunter Dr. King Schultz.

#9 Hunger Games: A great start to a movie series. Hunger Games made $150 million in its opening weekend and it was well worth it.

#8 ParaNorman: The top animated movie of the year. Norman has to deal with a group of zombies coming back from the dead. ParaNorman was very funny, with a lot of hidden humor that the parents would enjoy as much as the kids. Beautiful animation.

#7 Moonrise Kingdom: The coming of age story of two young kids whose oddball families drove them to run away and be together. Bruce Willis, Frances McDormand, Bill Murray, Edward Norton led a great ensemble cast. Wes Anderson created a quirky and heartfelt film.

#6 Looper: Joseph Gordon Levitt and Bruce Willis starred in the time travel classic. Levitt has to face himself as an older man (Willis) and he was supposed to kill him. A mind bending movie.

#5 Lincoln: Some amazing performances carried this movie. Daniel Day-Lewis and Sally Field could walk away with Oscars from this movie. A historical account of the last days of the Civil War.

#4 Skyfall: One of the best James Bond movies of all time. Daniel Craig recovered from the weak Quantum of Solace to feature one of the most personal Bond films ever.

#3 Argo: Ben Affleck’s historic drama that told the “true” story of a rescue of Iranian hostages in the late 70s. Argo is tense and exciting, particularly in the airport scene near the end. Great performances from Alan Arkin and John Goodman as well as Affleck.

#2 Cabin in the Woods: Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard created a horror movie that redefined the genre. A horror movie that played with every trait of the horror movie…turning it on its ear. One of the funniest movies of the year and a movie that you had to go into without spoilers. Figuring out what was happening as you went along was one of the best parts of Cabin in the Woods.

#1 Marvel’s The Avengers: What a year Josh Whedon had. Involved in the top two movies on this list, and the director of a movie that made over 1.5 billion dollars worldwide. And a movie that just rocked. Avengers was what all other comic book movies should aspire to be. Marvel worked towards this by putting out multiple movies leading up to this…and the pay off was just tremendous. One of my favorite movies of all time, and certainly the best comic book movie ever. Everyone involved were amazing, and yet, no one dominated over the others. That is quite an accomplishment with a cast the size of the Avengers. Whedon certainly struck gold here.

Best Actor in a movie

#10 Jared Gilman (Moonrise Kingdom) the young actor was the heart of this movie. Without his performance, this movie would have flopped.

#9 Matthew McConoughey (Killer Joe) One of the year’s most depraved performances. I can never look at a KFC drumstick the same way again.

#8 Ben Affleck (Argo) Affleck’s performance was at center stage in this dramatic rescue film. He was solid as both the star and the director.

#7 Dana DeHaan (Chronicle) One of the bright new stars of the year. DeHaan portrayed a young and troubled teen who gained telekinesis, and turned to the dark side. A classic villain origin.

#6 Daniel Craig (Skyfall) Returning to James Bond, Craig pulls off one of the best, most personal Bond movie ever.

#5 Gary Oldman (Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy) An early of the year performance as a great spy who had to come out of retirement to find the leak inside MI6. Much better performance than in Dark Knight Rises.

#4 Avengers (Marvel’s The Avengers) I couldn’t decide who to list, so I decided to link them all together. Robert Downey Jr., Mark Rufffalo, Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth in particular need to be mentioned. Each man did a bravissimo job on their character.

#3 Jean Dujardian (The Artist) I actually saw this movie in this calendar year, so it goes on this list. And his performance was Oscar worthy (and winning, I believe.)

#2 Joseph Gordon-Levitt (Premium Rush, Lincoln, Dark Knight Rises, Looper) He had the best overall year as he appeared in several great films. My personal favorite is Looper, but Premium Rush is under-appreciated. His John Blake was a huge part of DKR.

#1 Daniel Day-Lewis (Lincoln) An amazing performance. Day-Lewis became Lincoln. I don’t know how I can put it any more succinctly. There is something wrong if he does not win an Oscar for this role.

Best Actresses

#9 Anne Hathaway (Les Misérables) Sings like a bird!

#8 Juno Temple (Killer Joe) She played a 13 year old who went through all kinds of adult situations. It was uncomfortable and disturbing. She does a great job opposite Matthew McConoughey.

#7 Kara Hayward (Moonrise Kingdom) Like her co-star Jared Gilman, the movie rested on the believability of this young pair. And they delivered big time.

#6 Charlize Theron (Prometheus) Theron does a great job in this sci-fi epic from this past year. She wasl also the Evil Queen. It was a good year for her.

#5 Kristen Connolly (Cabin in the Woods) Dana survives to the end. She even had the puppeteers rooting for her…at least for a short while. She unleashed all kinds of Hell on them and the entire world.

#4 Emily Blunt (Looper) Her part in the film was kept pretty hush hush, but she plays a very pivotal role. And she does it very well.

#3 Scarlett Johansson (Marvel’s The Avengers) The Black Widow kicked some major butt in this movie. Joss Whedon always loved his female characters. The scene where Widow is tied to the chair is one of the top scenes in the movie.

#2 Jennifer Lawrence (The Hunger Games) This movie was going to succeed or fail on the back of Katniss. And Lawrence hit it out of the park. She made that character come to life from the page. And now she has years worth of sequels to look forward to.

#1 Berenice Bejo (The Aritst) Again, this could have been on last years list, but I didn’t see it until January, so it belongs with 2013. And her performance…without words…was outstanding.

Best Supporting Actor

And there were a lot of these performances this year. This was probably the hardest list to narrow down. Honorable mention should go to Bill Murray, Bruce Willis and Edward Norton (Moonrise Kingdom), Bradley Whitford and Fran Kranz (Cabin in the Woods), John Goodman (Argo & Flight), Denis Leary (Amazing Spider-Man), Tommy Lee Jones (Lincoln), Thomas Hayden Church (Killer Joe), Paul Dano (Looper), and Sam Rockwell (7 Psychopaths)

#10 Pierce Gagnon (Looper) The little kid is just astonishingly creepy and heartbreakingly tragic at the same time. This child took a good movie and made it special.

#9 Michael Fassbender (Prometheus) David, the robot, is more than just a robot. Fassbender played him with such cold emotion… that it was hard to believe that he wasn’t human after all. Fassbender was the standout of that film.

#8 Richard Jenkins (Cabin in the Woods) One of the puppeteers behind the scenes, Jenkins showed so much humanity and humor that it was sad to see him killed…kind of.

#7 Alan Arkin (Argo) The movie producer who was going to make a “fake hit”. Arkin and John Goodman made the Hollywood part of Argo well worth the trip. I expect him to be nominated for an Oscar for this role.

#6 Tom Cruise (Rock Of Ages) Not a good movie, but Cruise stood out His Axl Rose type character was quite a departure for Cruise, but he did it brilliantly. And he can sing. Who knew?

#5 Christopher Walken (7 Psychopaths) Christopher Walken is iconic. And he is just remarkably funny in thi smovie as a dog napper that takes things too far.

#4 Josh Brolin (Men in Black 3) Definitely the best part of this movie. Josh Brolin played a young Tommy Lee Jones PERFECTLY. It was as if Tommy Lee had been de-aged for the role. An amazing performance.

#3 Samuel L. Jackson (Django Unchained) Jackson is fantastic as the black servant to Leonardo DiCaprio. He is funny with each line, but he also is a manipulator and a betrayer of his own race. One of Jackson’s best performances ever.

#2 Andy Serkis (The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey) Gollum returned in the Hobbit, a prequel of sorts to the Lord of the Rings trilogy, and Gollum absolutely stole the movie. Gollum and Bilbo’s interactions were the most memorable section of the movie. What is in his pocket, indeed!

#1 Christopher Waltz (Django Unchained) I realized that his performance was my favorite one in Django Unchained after he was killed and my attention began to waiver. Dr. King Schultz was someone who I would have liked to know.

Best Supporting Actresses

#8 Gina Gershon (Killer Joe) She was on the other end of that KFC chicken leg. Finger Lickin’ good?

#7 Frances McDormand (Moonrise Kingdom) The other part of the unhappy couple with Bill Murray, McDormand shows great range in the quirky character.

#6 Emma Stone (Amazing Spider-Man) Gwen Stacy is Peter Parker’s love interest this time around, and she had amazing chemistry with Andrew Garfield. Will Gwen have a tragic future? We’ll see.

#5 Anne Hathaway (Dark Knight Rises) Selina Kyle (never the Catwoman) was one of the top parts of the Dark Knight Rises for me. I would love to have had more of her and Batman and less of Bane and the rest.

#4 Helen Hunt (Sessions) A daring role, in which she plays a sex surrogate and she spends a great deal of time nude. She was clearly unfazed by it. Another possible Oscar contender.

#3 Judi Dench (Skyfall) M is as vital to this story as ever before, and her end is done with a great deal of respect and honor.

#2 Salma Hayek (Savages) A terrible movie, but Salma was brilliant as the villainous Elena. She dominated every scene and brought a tremendous credibility to a film that desperately needed it. Her character was multi-dimensional among one dimensional ones. A truly impressive performance.

#1 Sally Field (Lincoln) Breathtaking. Astonishing. Astounding. Her Mary Todd Lincoln was raw and emotional and downright crazy with grief over the loss of her son. And she showed it. Sally Field should be the favorite for the Oscar this year with this role because you just don’t see much better.

Best Villains of the Year

#5 Bobby Monday (Michael Shannon) from Premium Rush

#4 Charlie Rakes (Guy Pearce) from Lawless

#3 Loki (Tom Hiddelson) from Marvel’s The Avengers

#2 King Candy from Wreck-It Ralph

#1 Silva (Javier Bardem) from Skyfall

Bardem was brilliant as the creepy Silva in Skyfall, and finished atop this list strongly. King Candy was very impressive to me, as I compared him to Lotso. Loki makes this list again, as the villain of the biggest movie of the year.

Best Animated Movie of the Year

# 6 Dark Knight Returns Part One: Direct to video DC goodness. Adapts the classic Frank Miller mini sereis

#5 Rise of the Guardians: Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, Jack Frost…

#4 Frankenweenie: Tim Burton’s personal story of a boy and his undead dog.

#3 Doom: Another DC direct to video movie. This one features the Justice League.

#2 Wreck-It Ralph. One of the bigger surprises as I was not looking froward to it, but I was completely entertained.

#1 ParaNorman. Funny, Smart, Beautifully animated. And zombies.

Not the best year for animation in the theater as even a few of these movies were average. I found it tough to fill out htis list.

Best Cameos of the Year

#7 Tom Waits (7 Psychopaths) and his rabbits. Waits played crazy really well.

#6 Johnny Depp (21 Jump Street) This was about the best part of this movie for me. One of the original cast members of the tv show.

#5 Jonah Hill (Django Unchained) Those KKK masks just are so hard to see out of…LOL

#4 Stan Lee (Amazing Spider-man) Stan’s cameo in Spider-man trumps his cameo in Avengers. His librarian in ASM is a funny moment.

#3 LOST (This is 40) It was good to see clips of LOST once again…Jack, Sayid, John…I miss you so.

#2 Don Johnson (Django Unchained) “Big Daddy” was one of the funnier parts of Tarantino’s latest flick.

#1 Sigourney Weaver (Cabin in the Woods) Someone with horror movie cred had to be behind the puppeteers. And she was.

There were no cameos this year that matched Hugh Jackman’s X-Men First Class one from last year. That is a classic.

Horror Movie of the Year

The Possession
Sinister
Cabin in the Woods

If you were surprised by #1, you haven’t been paying attention. Sinister and The Possession were decent films, amidst the crap that was the rest of the horror movies this year.

Top Songs

Wanted Dead or Alive (Tom Cruise) from Rock of Ages. One of the top moments in an otherwise average film. Cruise does a remarkable job singing this.
Django (Randy Roberts) from Django Unchained The theme from Tarantino’s spaghetti western was actually from the previous Django movie. Created a great mood immediately.

#2 I Dreamed a Dream (Anne Hathaway) from Les Miserables. Best song in this musical. Hathaway blows it away.

#1 Skyfall (Adele) New Bond theme fits the movie perfectly. And Adele does wonders.

Biggest Disappointments

The Dark Knight Rises. I liked it, but it just did not reach what i was hoping for as a film. Nowhere near as good as the Dark Knight, and as a finale, it felt as if it fell short. Still a decent movie when compared to…

Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter I loved the book. The movie failed in every way to bring the book to life. They took the tongue out of the cheek (where the book had it firmly planted) and cut it off, tossing it across the room.

Biggest Surprise

The Campaign. A movie that I found extremely funny, and a perfect take off during a presidential campaign season. I am not a huge fan of Will Farrell, but he worked in this film. Laugh out loud funny.

Worst Actor

Maybe worst actor is unfair. Let’s say, least successful. Taylor Kitsch starred in three awful movies this year with Battleship, Savages and John Carter. His days as a star of films may be over.

Worst Actress

Kate Beckinsale. She starred in two of the top four worst movies of the year from my list, but…you know…at least she’s hot.

2015 Year in Review

Posted on June 26, 2016 by Doc

Previously Published

Collider Video to YouTube to Screen Junkies Plus. To look at my choices for the top three online video movie reviewers.

These are the guys who I listen to when I am looking for opinions on the latest movies. Although I don’t always agree with their opinions, I respect what they say and how they say it.

#3 Chris Stuckmann.

I enjoy Chris Stuckmann’s work quite a bit. He is very professional and clearly knows his movies. He speaks with clarity and confidence.

#2 The Schmoes Knows

Mark Ellis and Kristian Harloff are extremely entertaining and fun. I also enjoyed their podcast on Thursdays while it was on. Both are extremely funny and quick witted. I always like to watch the Collider Movie Talk show when one or both are on. I would give them both 5 out of 5 Schmoes.

#1 Jeremy Jahns

Jeremy Jahns is the YouTube movie reviewer that I like the best. His videos are always entertaining, and, honestly, his opinion on movies are usually very close to mine. I have heard him say things in his video that I had in my head after watching a movie or in my reviews of those movies. I have even used his word “awesometacular” in my normal life.

Top Streaming Services of 2015

#5 Amazon Prime

Amazon has had some success in 2015 with their streaming service (particularly with the Emmy winning Transparent starring Jeffrey Tambor). I have yet to become a member of Amazon Prime, but I love the shopping website so it may not be too long for me to subscribe.

#4 Screen Junkies Plus

The newest on this list, Screen Junkies Plus took all of my favorite shows from YouTube and all of my favorite critics from YouTube and made a bunch of original shows for streaming. Screen Junkies Movie Fights has become must viewing every week and the new TV Fights has picked things right up. Time will tell if there is enough content to warrant this channel, but, for now, it feels at the “height of their powers.” -(thanks Hal Rudnick)

#3 WWE Network

You can’t beat the savings if you are a wrestling fan of the WWE Network. For just $9.99 a month, you have access to all of the Pay Per Views, past and present, original series, and specials. There can be no denying that the world of professional wrestling is currently in a down turn, but the WWE Network remains a viable option for fans.

#2 Hulu

Hulu is the best option for those of us who cannot watch everything on television when it actually airs. Now, I do not have the Tivo, so I spend several hours a week on Hulu. In a typical week, I will watch Flash, Gotham, Castle, Heroes Reborn, Grimm, Scandal, How to Get Away with Murder, General Hospital on Hulu, as well as every one in awhile, Jimmy Fallon or other late night shows. Though there are some television holes in their coverage (FX, CBS shows, AMC etc), Hulu helps me keep up to date.

#1 Netflix.

Well…duh. Netflix has become an iconic site. The streaming site has tons of classic movies, television shows and documentaries available for streaming, but the key to Netflix’s success is clearly its original programming. House of Cards, Orange is the New Black, Daredevil, Jessica Jones, Marco Polo among others has created the term “binge watching.” Netflix is at the start of the pop culture and leads the way.

To those we lost…

In Memorandum

deaths2015

add to the In Memorandum for 2015…Harry Morgan

Another loss to add to this list is Meadowlark Lemon of the Harlem Globetrotter fame. Meadowlark could do things on a basketball court that you just shouldn’t be able to do.

And yet another loss. Lemmy from Motorhead.

2015 Meme of the Year

This was my favorite Twitter meme of this year… it was “Make a Mochrie”

colin21

Add Colin Mochrie from Whose Line Is It Anyway to any picture and it instantly made it better.

Villains!!!!

You can’t have a great hero without an awesome villain. And this list of 10 (ok…11) villains are the tops of the year.

#10 (Tie) Valentine (Kingsmen) and Penguin (Gotham)

Samuel L. Jackson was awesome Kingsmen early in this year, taking what looked to be nothing more than a stereotypical character and made it a fully fleshed out entertaining character.

Oswalt Cobblepot has embraced the name Penguin. He has taken control of the Gotham criminal world after killing Fish Mooney. However, the new season has not been kind to Penguin as his mother was killed before his eyes. Penguin is still the most developed and interesting character in Gotham (though Ed Nygma might be on the way soon)

#9 Agent Ward (Agents of SHIELD)

When Agent Ward debuted as a member of SHIELD, most people responded with a deafening yawn. However, when it was revealed that Grant Ward was working or Hydra, and was really a sociopath, this character really came to life. Ward has taken the serious step into villain land and the chances of redemption is completely gone. And that is great.

#8 Deckard Shaw (Furious 7)

Deckard Shaw was the proverbial Energizer Bunny in the latest Fast and the Furious film. Shaw was everywhere. However, he brought the violence in his desire to revenge his brother. And Jason Statham was perfect for this role.

#7 Ultron (Avengers: Age of Ultron)

Voiced by the amazing James Spader, Ultron began as an attempt to shield the earth from extraterrestrial dangers…a suit of armor around the world is what Tony Stark called it. However, that suit of armor went horribly wrong. We may not have seen enough of Ultron Prime in the Avengers, but there is no denying the impact the killer robot had on the MCU.

#6 Reverse Flash- Harrison Wells (The Flash)

Harrison Wells was the brains behind Star Labs and a mentor of Barry Allen, aka The Flash. Little did anyone know that Wells was a speedster from the future who had returned in time and had killed Barry’s mother. Stranded, Wells created the Flash in an attempt to get himself back to the future. He didn’t quite make it.

#5 God Doom (Marvel Secret Wars)

Even the horrid version of Dr. Doom from the Fantastic Four movie could prevent God Doom from being everything. God Doom saved the universe from destruction and created Battleworld, placing himself as God. In Marvel continuity, Doom is still god (because of delays of Secret Wars release dates) We know that God falls… but we have yet to see how that might have happened.

#4 Indominus Rex (Jurassic World)

Indominus Rex was a killing machine, genetically produced as the key feature of the amusement park Jurassic World. And, of course, the massive dinosaur escaped its cage and ransacked through the park. The special effects of Jurassic World provided us with the amazing combination of T-Rex and Velocipators and led to the highest grossing film of the year (so far).

#3 Kylo Ren (Star Wars: The Force Awakens)

I said that Jurassic World was the highest grossing film of the year so far because this one will probably take that crown away. The return of the Star Wars franchise, led by the villainous Kylo Ren, is as anticipated as any film this year. And Kylo Ren, who has only been seen in the trailers, is mysterious and engaging. Is he Luke Skywalker as the rumors have indicated? Who knows. There is just over a couple of weeks until we find out.

#2 Kilgrave (Jessica Jones)

Kilgrave was one of the most horrible, most rotten villains of the year. His mind control abilities were really explored in Jessica Jones on Netflix and the metaphor for the loss of power was clear. And Kilgrave could have been a one note villain, but with the brilliant performance by David Tennant, you even started to feel for Kilgrave. Kilgrave almost became #1 on this list, but he was just one slight step behind his Netflix companion villain…

#1 Wilson Fisk (Daredevil)

Wilson Fisk was the best part of Netflix’s Daredevil. Played to perfection by Vincent D’Onofrio, Fisk was like a massive child, containing his anger over his tragic past and trying to find love himself. Of course, he also wanted the power in Hell’s Kitchen and that power brought him into conflict with Daredevil. That confrontation was amazing. The scene when Fisk decapitated his enemy with his car door was astonishing in its violence and its beauty. Wilson Fisk challenges Loki as the best villain in all of the MCU. Hopefully, we will see Fisk again sometime in the future.

Best Sci Fi

This was not the greatest year for science fiction, so there is more on the worst side than the best side. Having said that, there were two standout sci-fi films that will wind up tied for the prestigious Spock for 2015.

Best Sci-Fi (tie)

The Martian

Ex Machina

Some might argue that The Martian was sci-fi, but since we are not yet capable of landing a man on Mars, I think it fits. The Martian was near a 5 star movie with great performances, a lot of surprising humor and brilliant cinematography. Ex Machina was an early year favorite that dealt with a more earth based science fiction. The characters were the key to both of these films and focusing just on the sci-fi genre, there were none better.

The Worst is an easy choice.

Some runners up would include: Pixels, The Fantastic Four, Chappie, Last Witch Hunter

But the worst sci fi movie of the year (and one that might be in the running for worst film of the year…stay tuned) and the film that is awarded the infamous Mirror Spock Award for 2015 is…

Jupiter Ascending.

Jupiter Ascending was such a train wreck, and not in the good way. I nearly fell asleep in the theater while I watched this. There was a great cast, but no one does a good job. Eddie Redmayne gave such a stinker of a performance that some believed that he might have cost himself the Oscar for his brilliant portrayal of Steven Hawking (he didn’t). One of the worst films of the year.

Now…of course, there is a little sci-fi film coming out next week that might have taken the Spock had it come out a little sooner, but that was scheduling. Sorry Star Wars. Maybe next time.

Disappointment

I just came from Ron Howard’s new film, In the Heart of the Sea, and this year-end category came to mind.

The thing is… this was a weird year for this film. I was really looking forward to In the Heart of the Sea. I would say that it was one of my most anticipated films of 2015. Then, they moved it from March to December, making one think that it was hoping to be considered for Oscar contention.

So I had high expectations. But hen I started to hear the reviews. They were mostly low. Its percent of Rotten Tomatoes was under 60% and the movie reviewers on YouTube all kind of poo-pooed this. So I lowered my expectations considerably, as I went into the film just hoping that they were wrong. What I saw was a flawed movie that I ended up enjoying somewhat. I was not that disappointed because it was better than I thought it was going to be after seeing the reviews. Yet, with as much anticipation that I had for this earlier this year (especially after seeing that breathtaking trailer), it really does deserve to be on this list,if not win the award.

But this award can be given to a movie that I liked. I was just hoping for more…expecting more. So it was a disappointment. I am a bit perplexed. But decisions must be made… so here are the biggest disappointments of the year.

Pitch Perfect 2, Minions 2, Sicario, Spectre, Pan…

and the winner of the Spider-man 3 Biggest Disappointment of the Year Award for 2015 is…

In the Heart of the Sea.

Sorry Ron, but my lowered expectations do not excuse that you did not knock this one out of the park. The other films on the list were all disappointing to a less extent and a couple of them will show up again on the flop list, but In the Heart of the Sea just could have been so epic. It belongs at the top of this list for 2015.

2015: The Year of the Spy Movie.

There were several movies focused upon the spy genre in 2015, probably more than any recent year. And several of them were just tremendous. So here is the list of the spy movies in order according to EYG.

#7 Barely Lethal. Terrible. Easily the worst of the year.

#6 Man from UNCLE. This was ok. Good chemistry among its lead actors, but connecting it to an old 60s TV show did not make much sense.

#5 Spectre. I was pretty disappointed with the new James Bond movie. It was still watchable though.

#4 Bridge of Spies. The most realistic film (based on a true story), it was a Steven Spielberg- Tom Hanks film. That alone made it pretty decent.

#3 Spy. Melissa McCarthy turned out a really excellent spy movie that was both surprising and funny. McCarthy broke out of her typical mold of character for this one and it turned out really great.

#2 Kingsman: The Secret Service. A great film. It was fun from the beginning to the head-exploding end. It was not afraid to go places that other films wouldn’t go. The church slaughter scene to Freebird is one of the year’s best scenes.

and #1… spy movie of the year is:

Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation

Tom Cruise has another great hit that was remarkably exciting and fun. The scene of him hanging on the outside of the airplane, which seemed like the big action scene, takes place in the film’s first 10 minutes. And it only gets better after that. MI: Rogue Nation tops the bill for top spy movie of the year.

Best and Worst Trailer of the Year

Best Trailer

In the Heart of the Sea
Avengers: Age of Ultron
Batman v Superman teaser trailer
Captain America: Civil War
Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Worst Trailer

Chipmunks: Road Chip
Aloha
Chappie

The World of WWE

wwe

If we are being honest, this was not the best year for the WWE. A rash of injuries, predictable storylines and stale creative plans have caused ratings to slump for the last part of the year. However, there have still been some real great moments. And we are here to identify those.

Wrestler of the Year: John Cena. This one is a little hard to say, but no one has had a better year than John Cena. With his “United States Championship Open Challenge” on RAW, Cena has been consistently in the best match on the show and he will appear in several of the top ten matches of the year. Plus, when Cena took time off at the end of the year, RAW’s rating dropped significantly. Coincidence? I doubt it. Cena was also great in Amy Schumer’s Trainwreck. A great year for John Cena. Runner-Up: Seth Rollins, The New Day, Brock Lesnar

Tag Team of the Year: The New Day. No contest. The New Day combination of Kofi Kingston, Big E and Xavier Woods was consistently the most entertaining part of RAW. Each and every week, the New Day found new ways to up the ante. How many wrestlers could get over a trombone? The New Day is the hottest, most over group the WWE has seen in years. And the New Day is clearly having fun.

Moment of the Year: Diva’s Revolution. The arrival of Charlotte, Becki Lynch, Sasha Banks to RAW to start the so called Diva’s Revolution was an incredible moment. Sure, the follow through of the “Diva’s Revolution” was not very good… but this moment was money. Runner up: Seth Rollins’ cash in, Dudley’s return to WWE, Cesaro’s top rope cartwheel

Woman of the Year: Charlotte. The top female performer of 2015 will be one of the top stars for the next several years. Charlotte is the current Diva’s Champion and the best is yet ahead of her. Runners Up: Sasha Banks, Paige, Nikki Bella, Bayley

Feud of the Year: John Cena vs. Kevin Owens. This three match series provided three mat classics. These two really brought out the best in each other and Kevin Owens exploded on the scene in WWE after a short stint in NXT. Cena-Owens feud over the US Championship was compelling. Runners Up: Bayley vs. Sasha Banks, Roman Reigns vs. The Authority, Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt.

Breakout Star of the Year: New Day. The tag team of the year became so huge that they were suddenly all over RAW. There was one episode where they were involved in like five sections. And all because there were three men who were having fun. Runners Up: Kevin Owens, Sasha Banks, Cesaro

Mike Man of the Year: Paul Heyman. Yes, Heyman again. There is no one better on the microphone than Heyman. Paul had to sell the Undertaker-Lesnar match each week by himself. He is easily the best. If only every one else could watch Heyman and do what he does. Runners Up: New Day.

Biggest Waste of Talent: Daniel Bryan. Well, this is a questionable one. The WWE has not cleared Bryan to resume his career despite Bryan having a doctor outside of the WWE saying that he is healthy and good to go. Maybe this is a case of the WWE protecting its talent. But if Bryan is able to perform, isn’t it wasteful to not let him do it? Runners Up: Cesaro, Neville, Damian Sandow, Stardust.

Daniel Bryan Shining through the crap award: Neville. Neville should be a huge star because he can do things that no one can do. And despite being used much like a talented jobber for much of the year, Neville has looked amazing. It would not take long to make this man a top star…and that is something the WWE needs. Runners Up: New Day, Cesaro, Bra Wyatt.

Best Show: NXT. For a second year in a row, NXT is the best tv show in WWE. RAW is too boring or full of filler and Smackdown has become more of a RAW review. NXT is hot, and stars are wanting to go to NXT. The sky is the limit for this show.

Worst timing: Cesaro injured. Yes, Cesaro had an opportunity to take that step to the next level… but then he had a torn rotator cuff and he went on the shelf for months. I hope he gets healthy and winds up where he should be, at the top of the card.

Best PPV/Special: NXT Takeover: Brooklyn. The NXT Takeover specials on the WWE Network are amazing shows that allow their performers to perform and have a crowd that is engaged. This had a great match between Bayley and Sasha Banks that was so full of emotion, a ladder match with Finn Balor and Kevin Owens, and The Vaudvillains winning the NXT Tag Team Titles. This happened on the weekend of SummerSlam and NXT continues to shine. Runners Up: Wrestlemania 31, Elimination Chamber, NXT Takeover: Rival.

Matches of the Year

#10. Becky Lynch vs. Sasha Banks, NXT Women’s Championship, NXT Takeover: Unstoppable, May 20

#9. Kevin Owens vs. Finn Balor, NXT Championship, The Beast in the East, July 4

#8. John Cena vs. Sami Zayn, US Open Challenge, RAW, May 4

#7. Bayley vs. Sasha Banks, NXT Women’s Championship, NXT: Brooklyn August 22

#6. New Day vs. Lucha Dragons vs. The Usos Ladder Match, WWE Tag Team Championship, TLC December 13

#5. John Cena vs. Cesaro, United States Open Challenge, RAW June 29

#4. Kevin Owens vs. John Cena, US Championship, Elimination Chamber, May 31

#3. John Cena vs. Cesaro II, United States Open Challenge, RAW, July 6

#2. Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena vs. Seth Rollins, WWE World Championship, Royal Rumble, January 25

#1. Sasha Banks vs. Bayley, Iron Man Match, NXT Women’s Championship, NXT Women’s Championship, NXT Takeover: Respect

This match had so much emotion and had such an amazing atmosphere. Bayley and Sasha showed how amazing they were as performers. Both young ladies have huge futures.

By the way… John Cena was in five of the top ten matches of the year. Then #11 may have been Cena vs. Neville on RAW which was amazing as well. And he had two other matches with Kevin Owens that nearly matched that first one. Congrats to the Wrestler of the Year on a truly magnificent year.

Kick Ass Female

2015 was the year of the kick ass female. There were more female protagonists than we have had in a long time, and they were more than just the damsel in distress. In fact, many of these characters caused the distress.

#10 Miss Piggy (The Muppets). Having to put up with the biggest break up of the year, Miss Piggy became the star of her own late night talk show and always found the time to set trends and product placements (Piggy water anyone?) Here’s hoping that 2016 is when Piggy finds her way back to her froggy.

#9 Daisy Johnson (Agents of SHIELD). Daisy started the year known as Skye, but she ended it adopting her real name and she continues to explore her new life as an inhuman inside SHIELD. The character is based on the comic book heroine Quake, and Daisy has more in her future as the Secret Avengers are coming.

#8 Sarah Manning (Orphan Black). The amazing Tatiana Maslany brings a special kick assery to Orphan Black as she is playing much of the cast roster herself. There might be an argument that could be made that Maslany’s most kick ass character is actually Helena, but that is really splitting DNA. Sarah is the head of them all and so makes our list.

#7 Analise Keating (How to Get Away with Murder). How does Analise do it? How does she continually keep those balls in the air while still being a powerhouse defense attorney and a teacher at a law school? Easy, she manipulates and lies and morphs into whatever she needs. She is a wholly unlikable character whom you just can’t help but root for.

#6 Melinda May (Agents of SHIELD). “The Cavalry”, as she was known, continues to be the coolest, most capable agent SHIELD has. Even when her ex-husband is turning into Inhuman monsters, May does not let anything shake her outer exterior. However, we all know the price that she pays inside. We found out the heartbreaking reason behind the Cavalry nickname this year and Melinda May is still in our hearts.

#5 Thor (Marvel Comics). There was all kind of controversy when Marvel Comics unleashed the new female Thor. And yet, the comics themselves were fantastic. Then, this year, we discovered who it was who snatched Mjolnir from the surface of the moon. It was Jane Foster, who was still slowly dying from cancer. This great twist kept our favorite Norse God in the forefront of Marvel Comics.

#4 Furiosa (Mad Max: Fury Road). When you are the star of the latest Mad Max movie and your name is not Mad max, you know that you are doing something right. Charlize Theron brought the fury to Fury Road and had people forgetting about Tom Hardy.

#3 Carol Peletier (The Walking Dead). Carol has become one of the top characters of the zombie-survival show. Who would have thought that a few years ago when Carol was a sad and depressed housewife of an abusive husband. However, after the death of her daughter, Carol has become the most fearful of the group, always willing to do what has to be done to ensure their survival. Look out Morgan.

#2 Jessica Jones (Netflix). When Netflix announced the series of Marvel characters they were giving their own series, everyone was excited about Luke Cage or Daredevil or Iron Fist. And everyone was wondering exactly who Jessica Jones was. Well, no one was wondering any longer. Perhaps the most well developed female character of the year, Jessica Jones dealt with the danger of Kilgrave while an original heroine. She drank. She slept around. She was mouthy. She did not suffer fools. She was violent. And Jessica Jones the series was all the better for it.

#1 Rey (Star Wars: The Force Awakens). If you would have said tome that I was doing a list of kick ass females of 2015 and Jessica Jones would not be number one, I would have laughed at you. And then I saw Star Wars: The Force Awakens, and all bets were off. Rey is the most kick ass female of the year, and would ahve to be considered one of the most kick ass characters, regardless of sex, of the year. She has tapped into the Force, she battled Kylo Ren, she handled a staff and a lightsaber and even used the Jedi Mind Trick. Played by the fresh faced Daisy Ridley, Rey is perfectly set up to be the main protagonist for the Star Wars franchise moving forward. And I, for one, am extremely happy.

John Carter

There was some serious competition for the John Carter Memorial Award this year.

There was so much competition that Fantastic Four (Fant4stic) is not even in the finalists for the award.

Wow.

There are several films looking to join the company of films that have received this infamous award from EYG. The past receivers included John Carter (2012), Lone Ranger (2013) and A Million Ways to Die in the West and Expendable 3 (2104). There were two “winners” last year. This year we will need to split the award three ways.

Taking into consideration that a flop is more than just failure at the box office (though that is a major factor as well), we have several runner ups. We Are your Friends starring Zac Efron had a horrible box office take,but expectations were pretty low for that film. No one saw that as being a huge hit. Jupiter Ascending moved from the summer into January for a reason. It was so bad that people thought it might cost Eddie Redmayne his Oscar. Tomorrowland lost a ton of money for the studio after a horrible ad campaign that confused everyone. And the aforementioned Fantastic Four.

So here are the three movies that tied for the biggest flops of 2015 according to EYG.

Jem and the Holograms

Pan

Rock the Casbah

Jem started week one on 2.413 screens and made $1.37 million. Week two, it had 2,417 screens and made $387, 925 and then Universal stopped reporting its box office performance. The is an epic fail.

Pan was a large budget film with very little return on its investment. It had a budget of $150 million and opened to $15 million.

And Rock the Casbah, according to an article in Business Insiders:

“The film also holds the No. 5 spot for the worst wide opening (2,000-2,499 theaters) since 1982 on Box Office Mojo.”

2015 was really the year of the flop and the fact that Fantastic Four, a movie in August I was preparing to give this award to, was passed by three separate films (and honestly, We Are Your Friends would be ahead of it too), is a remarkable thing. It has been such a strange year since we also have two films break the Avengers’ opening weekend record (Jurassic World and Star wars: The Force Awakens) that it was just the weaker films that no one cares about.

Lets hope that there is not four winners of the John Carter Memorial Award next year.

Television Shows

There has been an amazing reinvention of how people watch television programs over the last few years. More and more people are watching online, with DVRs and with other devices. Shows are appearing on Netflix, Amazon, cable networks, streaming services, among many others. The days of ABC, CBS, NBC and FOX are gone.

A second trend we are seeing is the specialty shows. Shows that are anywhere from 8 episodes long to 15 episodes. The days of 23 episode seasons are slowly coming to an end. Because of this, we have made a decision. Instead of listing the top television programs, we have split them into two categories. Category One: Shows where they have a “full” season. Category Two: Shows that are “shortened” seasons.

“Full” season shows- Top Ten

#10. Grimm (NBC). Grimm has had its ups and downs this year, but it still has strong characters and one of my personal favorites in Monroe.

#9. Once Upon a Time (ABC). OUAT has also been up and down this season. Its use of Frozen characters was interesting, but its use of Camelot characters were not as successful. Dark Swan seems to be pretty cliche by now, but the great love story between Emma Swan and Captain Hook helps bring this show strength.

#8. Flash (CW). The Flash really picked up speed this past year (forgive the pun). They have great villains in Zoom, Reverse Flash, Gorilla Grodd.. but it does tend to deal with the metahuman of the week too much.

#7. Gotham (FOX). Gotham has really made some improvements this year. Last year, Gotham tried to cram too much (too many characters, too many storylines) into individual episodes. This year the show has been so much better. It has come close to becoming too campy, but it has carefully avoided those problems. If Gotham continues to make these kind of improvements, then the show will be very safe.

#6. The Big Bang Theory (CBS). The show has really been anchoring itself to the strength of the relationship between Sheldon and Amy. Sheldon Cooper has made as many strides as a character this last year as he has in all of the previous years. And that is a good thing.

#5. Scandal (ABC). Scandal has slipped some over the last year. I hated the kidnapped Olivia storyline and I was not fond about the story that followed. I have never liked President Fitz. I even wrote a blog post stating that Fitz is the worst fictionalized president ever. And yet, Scandal still knows how to do a great episode.

#4. Whose Line is it Anyway? (CW). Still extremely funny. As long as Colin Mochrie and Ryan Stiles are on this show, it will be worth watching.

#3. Castle (ABC). The show is feeling its age. It is in its eighth season, and it feels like they may be coming to an end soon. Having said this, this is still one of the first shows I watch on Hulu. Nathan Fillion and Stana Katic are still great as a couple and the show still is humorous.

#2. The Muppets (ABC). I know some people are not fond of this version of the Muppets, but I find it extremely funny. And the episode where the Swedish Chef did karaoke rapping was just mind boggling.

#1. Agents of SHIELD (ABC). Last year’s overall #1 is this year’s “full” season #1. SHIELD has the most consistent episodes with the most entertaining characters. Phil Coulson is one of the best characters on television and his portrayer, Clark Gregg, has as much charisma as you will find. The show also has great stories involving Inhumans including Lash, visited an extraterrestrial planet (EGO?), and fought with the traitor Grant Ward and Hydra. The midseason finale prepared to change the status quo around once again.

Shortened Season Television Shows

Top Ten

#10. House of Cards (Netflix) Streaming 13 episodes with the great Kevin Spacey and Robin Wright. House of Cards season three was not as strong as seasons one and two, but there is always fun to be had with President Frank Underwood.

#9. Agent Carter (ABC). A shortened 8 episode season during the break of Agents of SHIELD, Peggy Carter became one of Marvel’s top cinematic agents. The pairing of Agent Carter and Jarvis was inspired and brought great humor and excitement.

#8. Orphan Black (BBC). Tatiana Maslany is unbelievable as the series of clones. It is amazing how different these characters are despite being played by the same actress. There are many times where I forget that these are the same actress. Tatiana Maslany received an Emmy nomination this year and it was long overdue.

#7. How to Get Away With Murder (ABC). This would have been a little higher on the list but the second season has been a little disjointed. Season one was truly amazing. No matter what season you are watching, Viola Davis is a revelation. The character of Connor is another breakout character on this show.

#6. Orange is the New Black (Netflix). Season three of OITNB really made strides to improve from the iffy season two. The season finale of OITNB wa one of the best episodes of the year.

#5. Fargo (FX). I just binge watched this season’s episodes and I loved it. The fact that this second season of the anthology series has been successful (unlike that of True Detective) shows how great this show is. They even brought in a UFO. Great actors and actresses get involved in quality like this.

#4. Jessica Jones (Netflix). This is the most surprising addition to this list. Who would have thought that Jessica Jones, a b-type character of the Marvel Universe, would have been a brilliant series? And yet, it was. Kilgrave was an amazing villain and his power allowed the creators of the series a chance to explore topics that no super hero show have explored before. It was real and gritty and rough. And it was great.

#3. Bates Motel (A & E). This show just keeps getting better and better as Norman Bates continues his trip toward madness. You cheer for Norman, but you know it is a hopeless situation. And yet, you cheer anyway.

#2. The Walking Dead (AMC). One of the most consistent shows every year. You never know who may die. There is a definite tension on this show. The “death” of Glenn may have hit the show with a bit, but most of the time, when someone dies on the show, they die. There have been several times when I thought that maybe even Rick would die. No other show has that feel to it.

#1 Daredevil (Netflix). This is the over all number one show for 2015. Daredevil was just brilliant. Everything about it was amazing, especially the performance of Vincent D’Onofrio as Wilson Fisk. The action was hard nosed and violent. The fight scenes were movie quality

Honorable mention: American Horror Story, Heroes Reborn, Fear the Walking Dead, Under the Dome, Mr. Robot

One more honorable mention was ABC’s Secrets and Lies which I enjoyed quite a bit.

Best Television Shows I do not watch

There are only so many hours in a day and I cannot watch everything. Because of that, there are several great shows that the world may love that does not fit on my list. These are some of those.

Scorpion (CBS)

Game of Thrones (HBO)

Better Call Saul (A & E)

Empire (FOX)

Last Man on Earth (FOX)

Quantico (ABC)

Silicon Valley (HBO)

Television Awards

Best Actor in a Shortened Season: Vincent D’Onofrio (Daredevil). The Netflix series was amazing, but the key to the success was its villain. Vincent D’Onofrio was breathtaking as the criminal mastermind Wilson Fisk. He could be considered the MCU’s best villain. Runners-up: Charlie Cox, Kevin Spacy, Freddie Highmore

Best Actor in a Full Season: Jim Parsons (Big Bang Theory). This was one of the surprises as I sat down to do this, but Sheldon Cooper has developed more this past year than any character on tv and the amazing performance of Jim Parsons is one of the reasons. Runners-up: Clark Gregg, Nathan Fillion, Grant Gustin

Best Actress in a Shortened Season: Krysten Ritter (Jessica Jones). Jessica Jones was a revelation on Netflix and Krysten Ritter played one of the most well developed and three dimensional characters on television. Jessica Jones was yet another hit on the streaming site. Runners-up: Robin Wright, Viola Davis, Vera Farmiga, Tatiana Maslany

Best Actress in a Full Season: Kerry Washington (Scandal). Yes I was not a fan of much of the storyline that featured the kidnapping of Olivia Pope, but you could not argue that Kerry Washington was great showing the tortured side of the gladiator. Runners-up: Ming-Na Wen, Stana Katic, Mayim Bialik, Chloe Bennet

Best Late Night Show: The Tonight Show. Jimmy Fallon is still the trend in late night. His games such as lip sync battle has even become a television show of its own. Runners Up: The Daily Show, The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel Live.

Best Animated Series: Guardians of the Galaxy. Based after the great Marvel Studios movie of the same name, Marvel animation has a hit on its hands with the new GotG. Runner Up: The Simpsons

Show that fell Flat: True Detective. Season two of the HBO series was anxiously awaited after the fantastic season one, but the sophomore season was deadly dull and never found its footing. Runners-up: Fear the Walking Dead, Into the Badlands

Podcast of the Year: Hollywood Babble-On. Starring Kevin Smith and Ralph Garman, this podcast talks about movies and other geeky things. And the king of the podcasts Kevin Smith continues to entertain. Runner up: The Stone Cold Podcast, Fatman on Batman, The Schmoes Knows

Best Couple: Jessica Jones and Luke Cage (Jessica Jones). I loved the pairing of these heroes and I cannot wait to see this relationship continue. They were the best couple of a great year. Runners Up: Glenn and Maggie, Castle and Beckett, Sheldon and Amy, Connor and Oliver, Frank and Claire Underwood, Emma and Hook

Worst Couple: Olivia Pope and Fitzgerald Grant (Scandal). This pairing is what they built Scandal around, but it is anything but a pairing to root for. In fact, when Fitz started a war to keep Olivia safe, the relationship went from unlikable to treasonous. Absolutely terrible. Runners up: Daisy and Lincoln, Kermit the Frog and Denise

Best Death: Rebecca (How to Get Away With Murder). This one was a surprise. After being a major player in season one, Rebecca is murdered in the season finale, and her death led to much of the second season troubles. Runners-Up: Deanne, Ward, Hook, Harrison

Worst Death: Glann (Walking Dead). Understand, I am happy that Glenn is not dead. However, the bait and switch pulled by the show is not a good idea. Making it look like Glenn was devoured by Walkers only to reveal that he was underneath is a cheap move. Runners-up: Hiro

Looking forward to most: X-Files returns to FOX. Yes, I cannot wait for the six episode event of the X-Files. Mulder and Sculley return in January and I am so excited.

The Top 15 of 2015…. the biggest geek moments of the year….

#15. True Detective Season Two fails. After a hugely successful season one, the HBO series was one of the most anticipated show for the new year, and a great cast didn’t hurt either. The problem? The show just did not bring the excitement, the drama the intelligent story telling that the first season brought. Many people fought their way through the season with hopes that the next week would be the week where the story finally got better, but it was not to be.

#14 Jon Snow dies.

I am not a viewer of Game of Thrones, but even I understand that this death is a huge one. Jon Snow was one of the main characters of the HBO series and his death marks a major shift in direction for the series. There have been some questions raised recently that bring into doubt that he is actually dead (like someone else on this list), but this does follow the books. If Jon Snow is dead, then the show should be commended for keeping its fans on their collective toes.

#13. Netflix has two huge hits in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Marvel Television had two huge successes on the streaming service this year with the debut of Daredevil and Jessica Jones. Fans across the globe binge watched both high quality series and debated which one was better. Both series were able to take their time and develop characters (especially their two individual villains- Wilson Fisk and Kilgrave) and tell the story like they were telling a 13 hour long movie. These successes have led to the announcement of a Daredevil Season Two coming next year featuring the Punisher and Elektra. And we hope to see more of Jessica Jones in the upcoming Luke Cage series… all leading to the Defenders!

#12. The Fantastic Four film bombs on an epic scale. The movie itself was terrible, but that was not the major story. There have been other comic book movies that did not come out like we had hoped. No, it was the behind the scenes drama surrounding Fant4stic that truly was more interesting than the film. FOX tried to hide the film from the public, not allowing any critics to see it. But the biggest thing was the director, Josh Trank, tweeted that this was not the film that he had wanted. That led to a massively disappointing debut weekend that sent FF into obscurity and, perhaps, sending it right back into the waiting arms of Marvel Studios. Maybe one day some one will do a documentary on the “making of the Fant4stic.” That would be a huge success.

#11. David Letterman and Jon Stewart leave their late night shows. 2015 saw the end of two of the greats in late night television. David Letterman retired from the Late Show and Jon Stewart left his seat on the Daily Show. Both of these late night comedy icons had their programs passed to successors (Stephen Colbert took over for David while Trevor Noah took the reigns from Stewart). Late night will never be the same again.

#10. “Killed them all, of course.” HBO’s documentary series called The Jinx made television history and became a true crime first as infamous reputed killer Robert Durst, who has been suspected as the killer of his wife back in the 1980s and his friend in 2001, appeared as the subject of the series. The finale made all kinds of noise as “Bob” seemingly confessed to the crimes accidentally, not suspecting that his microphone was “live” after a unexpected interview by documentary director Andrew Jarecki. It was the most jaw dropping moment of the year and it was all real. Durst was arrested the day before the series finale aired on HBO and he is being extradited to California for trial.

#9. Secret Wars destroys the Marvel Universe. Or at least, temporarily. Marvel’s big blockbuster event for 2015 was a new version of Secret Wars, where the Marvel Universe was destroyed. Events taking place in the pages of the Avengers led to the event, but the one and only Dr. Doom prevent everything from being destroyed. Of course, Dr. Doom set himself up as a God over the new land known as “Battleworld” but what do you really expect? It is Dr. Doom. It was clear that the Marvel comic universe was not going to be destroyed forever and the publisher rebooted all of its series in October. Still, Secret Wars was must read story telling.

#8. Caitlyn Jenner. One time athlete Bruce Jenner completed his journey in 2015 that he started on E! Entertaiment’s Keeping Up With the Kardashians. In April of this year, Bruce Jenner revealed his identity as a trans gender woman and asked the world to call her Caitlyn. In September of this year, the former athlete made the switch permanent with a gender altering operation. Appearing on the cover of Vanity Fair, Caitlyn Jenner became a poster child for the transgender community and helped bring about the subject for discussion across the country.

#7. Atticus Finch, racist. Controversy was stirred up earlier this year as the second novel by Harper Lee, author of the beloved classic To Kill a Mockingbird, was scheduled to be released and took the classic character Atticus Finch and made him a member of the KKK. The public was outraged that a man who was shown as such a beacon of civil rights as Atticus Finch could become a southern racist. The publication of the novel Go Set a Watchman did not help matters as many critics bashed the book as inferior to Mockingbird in every way. The novel, originally written by Lee in the 1950s but only now published, was released in the summer and set a record for the highest adult novel one day sales at Barnes and Noble.

#6. Adele hits it big with 25. Adele’s newest album, featuring her hit song “Hello”, was released on November 20th and immediately became a world wide success. The album sold 3.38 million copies in the United States alone. The album debuted at number one on the album chart in more than 25 markets. In an article in The Independent written by Andy Gill, 25 “was described as saving the music industry, which was seeing dwindling profits with downloading and streaming as the popular methods of music consumption.”

#5. Glenn “dies” on the Walking Dead. Yeah, not so much. Glenn appeared to have fallen from a dumpster and into a pack of Walkers at the end of season 6, episode three entitled “Thank You.” But there were clues that he had not really bit the big one, including not appearing on the Talking Dead couch that follows the show. There were theories across the Internet, but the show kept the fans guessing as they did not reveal that Glenn had actually escaped until episode six where we see that Glenn is able to crawl out from beneath Nicholas’s body (which is what we see being devoured). It certainly had fans debating Glenn’s fate.

#4. Jurassic World passes Avengers as biggest opening weekend ever. (At least for now). Jurassic World surprised everyone with its amazing opening weekend. No pundits expected Jurassic World to come anywhere near close to the 207 million dollar opening of Marvel’s Avengers, but it surpassed it by about a million dollars. It was a huge success for the dinosaur sequel/reboot. Jurassic World also found that it had quite the legs as the film stuck around through the entire summer, ending with around 1.7 billion in worldwide box office receipts.

#3. Donald Trump runs for President of the United States. I wish I were kidding. Trump declared his candidacy for POTUS causing Jon Stewart to joke about reconsidering his leaving. However, the joke may be on us as Donald Trump is currently leading the GOP pack. Trump has used his over-the-top personality and his “I’ll say anything” demeanor to put the nation in a trance and shake up the politics as usual community. Now, if we can just make sure that he doesn’t actually win.

#2. Spider-man comes to the Marvel Cinematic Universe. In a shocking deal, Marvel and Sony agreed to allow the character of Spider-man to appear in the Marvel Cinematic Universe while still allowing Sony to produce stand alone Spider-man movies. It was unbelievable, but after the e-mail hacks and the loss of expectations of Amazing Spider-man 2, Sony saw the writing on the wall and decided to listen to what the fans wanted. The deal will allow Spider-man to appear in MCU films (starting next year with Captain America: Civil War). The role of Peter Parker (despite some fan desire to see Miles Morales instead) was won by young actor Tom Holland. The lack of excitement for Spidey in films immediately was thrown out the window as the chance to see Spidey with Iron Man and Cap took over.

And #1….

Star Wars: The Force Awakens arrives. The seventh film in the Star Wars series debuted this December to critical and monetary success. The Force Awakens made 248 million dollars in its opening weekend, destroying the record set earlier in the year by Jurassic World. There are some who believe that Star Wars: The Force Awakens has a chance to pass Avatar’s all time record of 2.8 billion. The fans came out in droves and the film created a wave of excitement and nostalgia like no film in recent memory. Plus, it was really good too, introducing the world to new characters such as Rey and Finn as well as bringing back old favorites like Han Solo, Chewbacca, and Princess Leia. JJ Abrams directed the newest episode and placed himself square in Geek Culture upper echelon of directors currently working. Star Wars is everywhere and it is easily the top Geek moment of 2015.

Gomer

The official Gomer for the Surprise of the Year is…

The Gift

The trailer made this film look like a typical stalker film. However, it was way more than that. It was a psychological thriller, one of the best psychological thrillers of the year. Add a mind bending performance from Joel Edgerton and solid work from Jason Bateman (playing against type) and you have a serious surprise at the movie theater.

runners up: The Duff I never thought that I would enjoy this one, but it was very funny and way more entertaining than it ever should have been.

and Paddington.

This was an early year film, and I thought it was going to be horrendous. However, Paddington was a total shock. It was a remarkably fun and thoroughly entertaining movie.

Stan Lee

This year, we officially name this year end award after “The Man” himself. Stan Lee has spent the last 10 years or so making cameo appearances in comic book movies. Part of the fun of the newest Marvel movie is watching for Stan Lee. No one deserves the honor more.

So… without further adieu… here is the top five cameos of 2015 (By the way…#1 may be considered a spoiler yet…so you are warned)

#5. 50 Cent from Spy. The rapper makes a short, yet important cameo in the Melissa McCarthy movie, lending out his personal helicopter for the ending deus ex machina.

#4. Mark Hamill from Kingsmen: The Secret Service. The appearance of Mark Hamill at the beginning of Kingsmen told us that this movie was going to be all kinds of awesome. And it was.

#3. Stan Lee from Avengers: Age of Ultron. Yes, Stan Lee does not win the award that he has been named after. I am not sure that that is irony, but it sure feels like it. Stan had a great two scene cameo in AoU, and even got to mutter his classic catchphrase, “excelsior.”

#2. Anthony Mackie from Ant Man. The appearance of the Falcon was one of the best moments in a list of great moments in marvel’s latest hit film. The fight between Falcon and Ant man set a great tone for the movie, but Mackie returned at the end to help direct Ant man toward Civil War.

#1. John Cena from Daddy’s Home.

This was a total surprise and it returned to a joke that was made way back in “Trainwreck” earlier this year. John Cena’s character was referred to as “Mark Wahlberg” and John Cena said that “Mark Wahlberg is like 150 pounds! I’m 250 lean – I look like Mark Wahlberg *ate* Mark Wahlberg!”

I was extremely impressed with the sudden appearance of John Cena, and I have been pretty impressed with Cena this year as well. He was also one of the better parts of “Sisters” with Amy Poehler and Tina Fey and he was awesome in “Trainwreck” as Amy Schumer’s closeted boyfriend. Plus, we named Cena wrestler of the year here at EYG.

Who would have thought?

Kid Actor

This year’s top child actor is starring on a film that I have yet to see. I know that might be a bit of a cheat, but all I have heard is great things about this performance. It has been so good that there are even some out there who think this young actor has a chance to be nominated for Best Supporting Actor at the Academy Awards.

So with that, I have to give the “I See Kid Actor” Award for 2015 to …

Jacob Tremblay for his work in “The Room”

I am really looking forward to the opportunity to watch this film. Congrats, Jacob.

Top 5 Movie Songs

Music

#5 We Belong, Pitch Perfect 2

#4 Phenomenal, Southpaw

#3 Don’t Look Down, Danny Collins

#2 One Kind of Love, Love & War

#1 See You Again, Furious 7

Batman and Robin

Here are the worst of the worst. Earning the infamous Batman and Robin Award for Rottenness. They are the Batman & Robins.

Ironically, two of the three worst actor/actresses I am giving are Academy Award nominees. So, in many times, it is not the actor, but the role.

Worst Actor: Eddie Redmayne (Jupiter Ascending). This is the worst performance you could imagine. People thought that this role in Jupiter Ascending might have cost Redmayne his Oscar for the Theory of Everything. It didn’t, but just the thought was amazing.

Worst Actresses (tie): Reese Witherspoon & Sofia Vergara (Hot Pursuit). This pairing was just horrible. Witherspoon was just coming off a great performance and an Oscar nomination for Wild, but she was completely ridiculous here. Hot Pursuit was one of the worst of the year, and these two ladies did not elevate the material.

Worst Special Effects: Last Witch Hunter. The special effects of this film were very poor, and that is a shame in this new world. When even poor movies look great, there is no excuse to have the special effects that look like this.

Worst Sequel: Transporter Refueled. (runner up: Paul Blart 2). This was so bad. I wanted to include Paul Blart 2 because it was awful, but Transporter Refueled was just epically bad.

Worst Movie I Haven’t Seen: Jem and the Holograms. I just did not make it to Jem, and that was a good thing. It was not in the theaters very long since it had such a dismal box office and there were several films out that weekend. I prioritized and that meant..no Jem.

Worst Comic Book Movie: Fantastic Four… or Fan4stic, as they had on early posters. FF was the huge disaster of a film. Even the director of the film knew it. A great cast that was completely wasted. And they did a worse job on Dr. Doom than the previous FF movies had done.

Best Scene in a bad movie: Julia Roberts cries over her murdered daughter, The Secret in Their Eyes. This came early in the film, and the rest of The Secret in Their Eyes was horrendous. However, Julia Roberts really brought it with this scene.

Worst Trailer for Awesome movie: Paddington. The trailers for Paddington made it look so dull and childish. That could not have been more wrong. Paddington was fantastic and I never would have believed that because of those trailers.

Best trailer for a terrible film: Fantastic Four. The trailers almost fooled us. They really looked pretty good. Of course, several shots from the trailer did not make the final film, and I wonder if they would have left it in, would it have been better?

I’m Walkin’: Magic Mike XXL: First time I walked out of a movie was this past year… and it was Magic Mike XXL. I had not seen the original Magic Mike but I heard lots of good things about it. Magic Mike XXL had nothing good about it. And I left after about an hour. Horror

This year was a slow one when it came to horror, as there were not very many really good ones and not really that many huge flops. There were mostly middle ground movies. Films such as Crimson Peak, Krampus, The Woman in Black 2, Insidious Chapter 3, The Lazerus Effect, Sinister II… all were in the same general range. Nothing good, nothing bad. Just basically unremarkable.

There are a few that I personally would not consider a horror movie that some might. For example, I would not consider Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse a horror movie. It is more of a Monster Squad type humor filled action/adventure. I am also not considering The Visit a horror movie, though it may share some traits in common. I would consider that a thriller.

So here are the best and worst.

Starting with the worst.

# 2. Poltergeist. Not a good remake and one that really did not need remaking. Just Hollywood reaching into its history for ideas again. Inconsistent tone hurt this film as it felt like there were times that they wanted to play this for jokes.

# 1. The Gallows. Before the final 20 minutes of the Gallows, I thought it was going to compete for the worst movie of the year, but the ending was able to pull the grade up some. This had a definite Scooby Doo feel to it though, as it felt like the gang was ready to catch and unmask the Hangman.

Now: I did not see the newest Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension and from what I heard, that was a terrible movie. But since I did not see it, I cannot comment.

The Best of the Year.

#2. Unfriended. This was a surprise as these kids were on their computers and the spirit of an old friend came back to seek her revenge. This was an original idea and was pretty entertaining, bringing horror into the age of texting and Tweeting and Facebooking.

#1. It Follows. This was a no brainer. Easily the best horror movie of the year, It Follows was a creepy ride from the first moment of the film. It also was able to use its monster as a metaphor for sexually transmitted disease. Really creepy and a serious scare.

Expendables

New this year… it is the Expendables Award for Acting Excellence. Because, there are performers who have starred in the (currently) three movies of the Expendables that usually phone in their performances. They do the same old things in their films and can do them blindfolded. I believe it is worth the time to recognize those members of the Expendables casts that do something different..something special… something original…and do it well.

We have three recipients for the Expendable Award for Acting Excellence for 2015. They are :

Best Expendable Actor in a Motion Picture:

Arnold Schwarzenegger for Maggie.

This is the basis for the award. Arnold Schwarzenegger plays a father whose daughter has been infected by a disease that is turning her into a zombie and he struggles for the right thing to do. The film is heartbreaking and Arnold gives one of his better performances of his career. It certainly had him stepping outside of his comfort zone.

The former Governor of California should be commended for joining a movie about zombies that does not require him to be blasting through them with guns or chopping off heads.

Harrison Ford in Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Star Wars: The Force Awakens does not have the emotional punch if Harrison Ford does not return to the role of Han Solo. The film also would not be as effective in passing the torch to the next generation of Star Wars characters such as Finn, Rey, Kylo Ren, Poe etc. had Han Solo not been there to tie the future Star wars to that of the past to make it the now. Ford was the key character in allowing that to happen.

And Harrison Ford really brought it to the film. We have seen Ford not interested in films before. One could argue that he phoned in his performance in the last Indian Jones movie. Some have claimed many of his recent performances have been basically playing himself. But in Star Wars, from the moment that he stepped on the Millennium Falcon, he was Han Solo. He was the smuggler, scoundrel, hero that we all remembered, and he played those thirty years of baggage well. Ford deserves a lot of props for the success of The Force Awakens.

Best Expendable Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture:

Silvester Stallone for Creed

Who thought Silvester Stallone was capable of this level of performance again?

Returning to the familiar ground of Rocky Balboa is one thing, but returning as Rocky in the background…as a trainer for the son of Apollo Creed, well that is a different thing. Yet, Stallone was one of the best parts of Creed.

Creed was not directed by Stallone, and this looks like Stallone had the opportunity to just sit back and work on his acting. And he knocked it so far out of the park that it is possible that Sylvester Stallone could receive an Academy Award nomination for his performance. If anyone would have said that after Expendables 3 or Grudge Match or Bullet to the Head, Stallone would have a chance for an Oscar, I would have laughed in their face.

Yet, here he is. And it would be very deserving if he were nominated. In fact, I am rooting for him.

One more underdog story for Rocky.

EYG Star of the Year

staroftheyear

#4. Adele. Adele saved music in 2015 with her massively successful album 25.

#3. Chris Pratt. Star of the (now) 2nd most successful film of the year in Jurassic World.

#2. Jennifer Lawrence. Jennifer Lawrence seems to be in this list every year, and this year is no exception. She appeared in the final Hunger Games film this year, with Mockingjay Part 2 and she had an Oscar contender with Joy, where she is wonderful.

#1 EYG Star of the Year is…

JJ Abrams

JJ Abrams has done what everyone on the planet had hoped he would do. And that was to recreate Star Wars and save the franchise and set it on course for a new generation. Star Wars: The Force Awakens does exactly that. Using great new characters and familiar characters from the past, JJ created an amalgam that pleased most everyone. Box office proves it too, as Star Wars: The Force Awakens has become the fastest film to reach $1 billion dollars (in just 12 says) worldwide. That was without even opening in China yet. The Force Awakens is a pop culture juggernaut and it has a chance to surpass the box office king Avatar as biggest film ever. I wouldn’t vote against it. Thank you JJ for bringing us what we had wanted.

Supporting Actors and Actresses in Motion Pictures

Supporting Actors

#5. Michael Rylance (Bridge of Spies)

#4. Michael Douglas (Ant Man)

#3. Paul Dano (Love and Mercy)

#2. Christian Bale (The Big Short)

#1. Sylvester Stallone (Creed)

Stallone was just amazing in the movie Creed. He fell back into his role of Rocky (the most iconic role Stallone has ever had) like he never left it, and without the need to be directing or leading the film, Stallone really made the film special.

Supporting Actress

#5. Elizabeth Banks (Love and Mercy)

#4. Olivia Cooke ( Me & Earl & the Dying Girl)

#3. Rachel McAdams (Spotlight)

#2. Helen Mirren (Trumbo)

and #1. Alicia Vikander (Ex Machina)

The best Sci-fi movie of the year featured one of the best supporting performances you will ever see. Alicia Vikander brought more life to the role of a robot than most actresses bring to real life characters. She was one of the best parts of the film.

director

The EYG Director of the Year

#5. Ridley Scott (The Martian). Ridley Scott had had several failures in a row before hitting out of the park with The Martian. It is good to have him back. The Martian was one of the best films of the year and the direction was superb.

#4. Adam McKay (The Big Short). I truly enjoyed the way The Big Short was put together, with the celeb cameos to explain things and the way characters would break the 4th wall. Adam McKay really put that all together with some great performances.

#3. George Miller (Mad Max: Fury Road). The 70 year old George Miller came up with something special this year with his mostly real effects of Mad Max. While everyone is using CGI, George Miller did something old school.

#2. JJ Abrams (Star Wars: The Force Awakens). JJ Abrams did what we all wanted. Make Star Wars relevant again. Not just relevant, but also enjoyable. He blended the past and the future together seamlessly and created what could be the biggest film of all time.

And the DeMille goes to….

#1. Tom McCarthy (Spotlight). McCarthy created a near perfect film. Not only was Spotlight brilliant, it took a subject matter that was difficult and horrified us. We saw how journalists went about investigating their reports and we were engulfed in the story. Plus, he got a great performance out of everyone in that ensemble cast. He may be a leading candidate for an Oscar this year.

The Liz

“The Liz” EYG Award for Best Actress of the 2015.

Here are the runners up:

#5. Amy Schumer (Trainwreck) Amy Schumer went from television to the big screen in an extremely entertaining film that she wrote and starred in. It was funny and it had a great relationship at its base. Plus, John Cena was really solid.

#4. Melissa McCarthy (Spy). Another comedienne. It was a good year for funny females. Mccarthy was outstanding in the role as a office worker who winds up having to go into the field. She was really funny and played a better character than she had been playing before.

#3. Jennifer Lawrence (Joy). Lawrence’s performance was definitely the best thing about Joy, which, as a movie, was only an okay film. Whatever success Joy has is because of Jennifer Lawrence’s layered performance.

#2. Daisy Ridley (Star Wars: The Force Awakens). One of the best new characters in Star Wars was played beautifully by the fresh faced Daisy Ridley. She is going to be such a huge star, and she was one of my favorite parts of this film.

and 2015 “The Liz” goes to….

#1. Charlize Theron (Mad Max: Fury Road)

Charlize Theron is really the main character in Mad Max: Fury Road. She showed that she could carry an action movie, and this was one of the best action movies of the year. Furiosa was also one of the more compelling characters in a film that did not have a great story behind it. Charlize Theron is the actress of the year.

Strangelove

The Strangelove Award for Best Actor will be given from now on in honor of our own EYG Hall of Famer Peter Sellers, who was playing several characters in that great comedy. So here are the runners-up for 2015…

#5. Will Smith (Concussion). Will Smith does a great job in a movie that brings the NFL under scrutiny for the concussions being suffered by their players. Will Smith does a really great job playing the doctor behind the discovery of the problem. “Tell the truth…”

#4. Mark Ruffalo (Spotlight). The Spotlight movie is a great ensemble cast, but Mark Ruffalo really stood out at one of the main reasons the movie was go great. Ruffalo was wonderful as a member of these journalists from the Boston Globe that was so important in uncovering this horrible secret that wasn’t that secret.

#3. Sir Ian McKellen (Mr. Holmes). Seeing Sir Ian McKellen play an older Sherlock Holmes nearing the end of his life was amazing. But we also got to see McKellen playing Holmes near the end of his final case. And it was a mystery. Mr. Holmes was one of the most underrated film of the year, and McKellen was brilliant.

#2. Michael Fassbender (Steve Jobs). This was the film that got Steve Jobs right, and Fassbender was Oscar worthy in his portrayal. He showed us the weirdness of the real Steve Jobs and showed how human the man actually was. Fassbender was amazing.

and “The Strangelove” winner for 2015 is…

#1. Bryan Cranston (Trumbo).

Bryan Cranston has a great oeuvre of work, but this was the first time that he is the lead actor in a feature film. And he so embodied the real life person of Dalton Trumbo, the movie writer who was blacklisted during the Communist fear of the 1940s. The film looked at the problems of prejudice and hatred and fear of what is different. Cranston was really perfect in this role. You really wanted to support him and you love it when he succeeds.

Ok, the time is here.

The Top 20 Worst Films of 2015!

First, some qualifiers:

Of course, only films that I have seen in the calendar year of 2015 can make this list. So such classics as Alvin and the Chipmunks: Road Chip, Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension or Jem and the Holograms will not appear on the worst list because I did not see them. They probably would have made it if I had.

Second, I have a special dishonorable mention. I walked out of Magic Mike XXL this year and I gave it one of the lowest scores of any film this year. And yet, it will also not appear on this list. I decided that because I did not stick in the film until the end, I could not legitimately include it on my list. It was possible, however slightly, that the end of the film would have improved Magic Mike XXL’s score. For example, I was sure that Daddy’s Home, the new comedy starring Will Ferrell and Mark Whalberg was heading for this list, but an entertaining and surprising third act really changed my mind. Magic Mike XXL did not get that chance, so it is officially off the list.

And the final qualifier is this: the ratings I give a movie during the year will not be specifically followed. A film that got one star may be listed higher on this list than one that earned 0.8 star. It is just the subjective manner of this type of list. Of course, this is my list and, in such, the opinions listed here are mine and mind only.

So… here is the Top 20 worst films of the year.

There were a lot of bad films in 2015. This year had some really great films, but it had more than its share of stinkers.

Dishonorable mention (The films that did not quite stink it up enough to make the top 20): Spongebob Squarepants: Sponge Out of Water, Fant4stic, Inherent Vice, Pixels (yeah, I know, that surprises me too), Pan

#20. The Gunman. Starring Sean Penn, the story of a sniper who had to go into hiding after a successful assassination. What was really killed here was my interest level.

#19. The Gallows. The worst of the horror movies this year makes the list at nineteen. This was another example of a decent ending to a movie saving it from being considered near the top of this list. It still makes it, however.

#18. Secret In Their Eyes. It boasts a great cast. There are even a few solid scenes. However, the story is just stupid and the double twist ending spoiled any good will it may have picked up along the way.

#17. Seventh Son. Jeff Bridges. Julianne Moore. Alicia Vikander. You would think that this could not fail. But it had been delayed several times for a reason. It was terrible.

#16. Aloha. Another film with a great cast, but a stupid story. Emma Stone as Allison Ng? It was convoluted and dull. And it featured one of the most annoying trailers of the year. I was glad to say aloha to Aloha.

#15. The Last Witch Hunter. The continuing saga in trying to find Vin Diesel a franchise that does not include cars. Some of the worst Special Effects are found in this film. Keep trying Vin.

#14. The Loft. Another film that had been delayed (pushed into January, which is never a good sign) An inane murder mystery with a group of characters that were so unlikable that I would have loved to see all of them go away. This was one that I had some high hopes for, but they were dashed very quickly. There was some women hatred going on in this one.

#13. Paul Blart 2. I kind of enjoyed the first movie of this series for the quirky and light hearted romp it was. This one too it too far, sending Paul Blart to Vegas. What followed was a typical Kevin James unfunny movie with a predictable finish.

#12. Mortdecai. Johnny Depp? What were you thinking?

#11. The Boy Next Door. Jennifer Lopez is a beautiful woman. That is about what this re imagining of Fatal Attraction has going for it. Story? Nah. Acting? Come on….

And now… we shall start to Top Ten…

#10. Point Break. The remake that was so unnecessary. They slapped the name of Point Break on it though it really had little to do with it. It was basically the X Games movie weaved together with some exposition. Not what you want to see.

#9. Vacation. Another remake (although this may be more of a sequel) that was just not funny. There were plenty of offensive parts, but offensive parts can still be funny. These weren’t. Chris Hemsworth was the best part of this steaming pile.

#8. 50 Shades of Grey. This is so poorly written and it was boring. You would go into the film hoping for, at least, some good sex scenes. Nope. The S & M scenes were not sexy or a turn on. Such a miss.

#7. Jupiter Ascending. An attempt to create a new sci-fi property that had been delayed from the previous summer. It went into January. Horrible. I nearly fell asleep a couple of times.

#6. Hitman Agent 47. Just a large video game, with action that was as ridiculous as you would think. I was ready for this movie to be over 20 minutes into it.

#5. Barely Lethal. This was a small independent film and it was a terrible spy movie. Not many people saw it. It was bad.

#4. We Are Your Friends. Some interesting music. No story. No characters worth anything. Zac Efron failed epically in this film.

#3. Unfinished Business. Another comedy that was not funny. Vince Vaughn must have been working on his dramatic chops for season two of True Detectives because he just was not funny. Seriously stupid and predictable and terrible.

#2. Hot Pursuit. People were laughing in this theater when I watched Hot Pursuit and it made me question the intelligence of the people around me. This was so bad and almost became the worst film of the year. Reese Witherspoon was right off a great performance in Wild only to come here and have absolutely no charisma with Sofia Vergara. And it was not funny…no matter what the laughter in that theater said.

and the worst movie of the year…

#1. Transporter Refueled. I saw this on the same day as I saw We Are Your Friends. There is a double feature for you. This had no story. No excitement. No villains worth anything. The trailers were horrid. This was the fourth film in the series and hopefully it will be the last.

And now…here it is.

The Top 25 movies of 2015.

Again, just like the Worst films of the year, these are my subjective opinions and only mine. It will only include movies that I have seen in the calendar year of 2015. That means that The Revenant, which I have not yet seen (even though it is going to be considered for Oscars) will not appear on this list.

There are also a couple of films that most people had on their 2014 lists, but I had not seen them until January of 2015, so they are here on this list.

Again, the ratings that I give throughout the year really does not go into consideration for this list. I will have some 5 star movies that are lower than some that I did not give 5 stars to. That is just the way of the beast. Deal with it.

Starting off with a long list of Honorable Mention: Love & Mercy, The Visit, Peanuts: The Movie, The Walk, It Follows, Paper Towns, Black Mass, Unfriended, Selma, The Death of Superman Lives: What Happened?, Danny Collins, Pawn Sacrifice, Maggie

You would think that with that many honorable mentions that I would think that 2015 was a great year for movies, but I do not think so. I think there were way too many movies that were middle of the road/meh movies. Honestly, I hope for a stronger 2016.

However, when the movies got it right, there were some real gems (not Jem) this year.

#25. Goosebumps. I found htis very entertaining and one of the bigger surprises of the year. I was pretty sure this one was going to be really bad, and yet, Jack Black and the group of Goosebump monsters brought some definite nostalgia to the theater.

#24. Trainwreck. The film starring Amy Schumer was funny, and contaioned a great performance by John Cena. Amy Schumer has a bright future in the film industry ahead of her. This was a rom-com that really kind of flipped the genre on its ear.

#23. Dope. This was another surprise this year. Dope was a coming of age story of a group of young geeks who try everything they can (including selling dope) to get to college. Great music and great humorous moments.

#22. Spy. A film that brought Melissa McCarthy back to the forefront of comedy. She was floundering a bit with her films and then Spy came along and changed the narrative enough to really become a huge hit. And it was very funny in the year of the spy movie.

#21. Mockingjack Part 2. The conclusion to the Hunger Games series was very satisfying, but I found it pretty depressing in many ways. I had not read the book series so I was not prepared for the carnage that would follow the attack on the capital. Jennifer Lawrence was great as always.

#20. Mad Max: Fury Road. I debated about this one, because I did not love the Mad Max movies as much as others, though I know it was a great film. It was beautifully shot and the practical effects were astounding. The story was just a little thin. Still, it made the top 20.

#19. Paddington. I so loved this movie. It was early in the year and I expected nothing out of it and it was just so good. Everything about Paddington was great. After the controversy of Colin Firth leaving the film, I did not have high hopes and this turned out wonderfully.

#18. Ex Machina. One of the best sci-fi movies of the year, Ex Machina showed more humanity with its non humans than a lot of movies. Alicia Vikander hit it huge in this film and Oscar Isaac continues to be one of our best actors.

#17. Kingsman: The Secret Service. Another early year hit, full of over-the-top moments that were both shocking and hilarious. The scene at the church to Lynyrd Skynyrd’s Freebird has to be one of the best scenes in movies this year. Taron Egerton has a huge career ahead of him.

#16. The Gift. The winner of the Gomer for the biggest surprise of the year, The Gift looked to be just another crazy, stalker type move, but it was so much more than that. Written and directed by star Joel Edgerton, The Gift was one of he best psychological thrillers of the year.

#15. Me & Earl & the Dying Girl. I loved this movie. When it first came out, I gave it five stars. That might have been a little over rate, but it was completely original and emotional, with a great group of interesting characters dealing with important life-altering choices. Still one of the best coming of age stories out there.

#14. Creed. Another one that I thought might wind up higher on this list, but in the final figuring, was lower. A great performance by Michael B. Jordan and a brilliant supporting performance by Sly Stallone made this next installment in the Rocky franchise its own animal. Ryan Coogler directed this and now is going to direct Marvel’s Black Panther.

#13. Trumbo. I really enjoyed this period piece. The story of the Hollywood writers who had been blackballed as Communists during the 1940s and one man who was able to fight back by still writing movies under a variety of aliases. Dalton Trumbo was a real life warrior, brought to the screen brilliantly by Bryan Cranston.

#12. Steve Jobs. I loved this movie and Michael Fassbender was amazing as the Apple head. The film was not a strict bio pic, as it focused on several different product launches and the behind the scenes drama that happened. It was brilliantly told and fully entertaining.

#11. The Martian. Ridley Scott is back. He created an amazing sci-fi story about an astronaut stranded on Mars and the attempt to rescue him. The movie is so effective that it felt like a true story. Matt Damon has amazing dialogue and is very funny as he struggles to survive using science.

#10. Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation. Tom Cruise was epic in this film, hanging on the side of airplanes and riding motorcycles at insane angles. This was the best spy movie of the year of the spy. The Mission Impossible franchise seems to keep getting better with each film.

#9. The Big Short. Another five star film that wound up a little lower than I had planned (even as of two days ago, I had this as high as #6). I loved the way this was put together with the celebrity cameos to explain concepts and the breaking of the fourth wall. It was a great ensemble cast as well with Christian Bale, Steve Carell, Ryan Gosling, Brad Pitt among others.

#8. The Hateful Eight. The newest film on the list is the newest Quentin Tarantino classic. Amazing dialogue that carries a scene between unbelievably compelling characters. And of course, Tarantino gore as well. The nearly three hour run time seemed to fly by.

#7. Star Wars: The Force Awakens. It is possible that this film will become the biggest film of all time. It has already flown past $1 billion dollars worldwide. It also brought the Star Wars universe back to where it should be after the travesties of the prequels. SWTFA makes it feel like Star Wars again. It is one of the most surreal experiences of the year.

#6. Ant Man. Marvel’s undersized hero proved to be a box office star. Paul Rudd and Michael Douglas in a comic book movie? What a great world we live in. Ant Man was a really fun, smaller (excuse the pun) story that still felt like it had consequences. The fight with Falcon was pure gold as was the ending sequence in Ant Man’s daughter room. That final fight scene with Yellowjacket was one of the best third acts of the year. It had everything.

#5. Spotlight. The great ensemble cast brought to life the story of a group of Boston Globe reporters who broke the story about Catholic priests abusing young children and how much the Catholic Church knew about it. It was uncomfortable. It was real. It was compelling. It may be a leading candidate for the Academy Award.

#4. Mr. Holmes. I so loved this movie with Sir Ian McKellen taking up the iconic role of Sherlock Holmes late in his life. There was another mystery to solve, and it was one that Mr. Holmes couldn’t remember. This film tells the sometimes difficult story of getting older and how life has to change. There was also a great performance from the young actor, Milo Parker (who might have gotten the “I See Child Actors” Award if not for the special performance of Justin Trembley.

#3. Whiplash. This one was the hold over from last year. I did not see it until mid January so it qualified for this list. And my goodness, did JK Simmons deserve that Oscar, or what? Miles Teller was every bit as good as the acting partner of JK. The final drumming scene was as intense as you can get.

#2. Avengers: Age of Ultron. A lot of people have bad mouthed this film and that was not fair. I still loved it. I thought Ultron was great as a villain. I thought there was a great emotional moment in the film. And the Avengers were acting as heroes, saving people.

and the #1 film of 2015…

#1 Inside Out. Pixar’s brilliance shined through this year with an animated movie that told an amazing story of a young girl and the emotions that live in her head, causing her to feel what she feels. The story was emotional. The animation continued Pixar’s magic. It was funny, and it had, quite legitimately, the most emotional moment of the year. Every time I saw it, tears came from my eyes. Inside Out is a masterpiece and it was as creative as it was beautiful. The settings inside the little girl’s head was wonderfully laid out. I had a feeling this would be the number one film when I first saw it, and nothing else was able to provide as brilliant of a time at the theater as Inside Out did.

Free State of Jones

Posted on June 25, 2016 by Doc

Matthew McConaughey has been having a great stretch of films and performances. All good things have to come to an end.

I was bored with most of Free State of Jones. In fact, I may have nodded off at least once during the exceptionally long run time of 2 hours and 19 minutes.

Matthew McConaughey played Newt Knight, a Confederate soldier/nurse who decided that the philosophical ideals of the Civil War was not for him and he deserted. Taking up residence in a swamp in the county of Jones in the state of Mississippi, Newt starts aiding other deserters and runaway slaves, forming a tight-knit community.

Based on a true story, Free State of Jones never really reaches the level that it seemingly was trying to reach. It saw itself as a Revenant, but came up very short.

Matthew McConaughey was pretty solid in this role, though many times he felt like he was just playing Matthew McConaughey. I kept waiting for an “alright alright alright” to break out.

There really wasn’t that much that happened in this movie. Characters would talk for a while and then someone would have their farm burned down. Then some more talking. If the film had dynamic dialogue like a Hateful 8, all the talking might not have been bad, but the dialogue was anything but compelling.

There were also way too many irons in the fire. We are about a half hour into the movie and then suddenly, we time jump ahead into the 1950s for a trial of one of Newt’s descendants. Those future scenes really threw me for a loop at first, and, although I kind of dug the story those scenes were telling, it did not correspond with the story being told in the 1860s section of the film. I think there might have been a story that could have been told about this true story Mississippi trial, but it needed more focus to include it. As it is, this is a section that could have easily have been edited out to trim some of the time off the film.

There was an interesting dynamic between Newt and Rachel (Gugu Mbatha-Raw) and Newt’s first wife Serena (Keri Russell), but this plot line was not expanded upon. This was another story element that could have carried a much bigger chunk of the film, and is an example of the film trying to tell too much story.

I did kind of enjoy the history lesson feel that parts of the film went for, but I could not shake the idea that I would have enjoyed this movie more as a documentary.

Moses (Mahershala Ali) was one of the stronger characters in this film, and his fate was one of the most emotional beats of a film that struggled to connect emotionally with its audience.

Free State of Jones could have done with a sharper focus on what story they wanted to tell instead of trying to tell everything. It is overlong and leaned toward dull (as my power naps may attest) but it has an intriguing story with a good performance from several of the cast. This could have been so much better.

2.65 stars

Independence Day: Resurgence

Posted on June 25, 2016 by Doc

Director Roland Emmerich recently made some negative comments directed at super hero movies, specifically to Marvel, calling them silly. After seeing Independence Day: Resurgence, Emmerich’s comments makes him look like the ultimate glass house owner throwing stones everywhere.

This film wishes it could be a Marvel movie.

A sequel to the big time, albeit corny, 1996 Independence Day, Resurgent focuses on a futuristic world where the citizens of planet earth have taken the alien technology and advanced their society with the expectation that the alien attackers would, one day, come back. Fortunately, the aliens choose the 20th anniversary celebration to launch their return to earth, sending out earthlings into a tizzy.

Will Smith did not return for this sequel and you can feel his absence. His character, Steven Hiller, is said to have been killed in a training exercise with the alien tech, and now his son, Dylan (Jesse T. Usher) stepped up to replace him. At least, that is what the movie wanted, but this character is one of the weakest characters you will find, unlike Steven Hiller.

We also had new character Jake Morrison (Liam Hemsworth), the typical rascally sci-fi hero. Liam Hemsworth is at best average here, playing a character as cliched as you get.

This is a big problem with this sequel. There are a ton of science fiction cliches here. You hardly go five minutes without another cliche rearing its ugly head. There is nothing new or original here, and the movie suffers for it. In fact, if you look closely, the beats of this movie very nearly match the original. There really is not much difference. The biggest difference is that the original had characters that you could connect with. This one, not so much.

There were returning characters in this sequel. Bill Pullman returned to the film as former President Whitmore, now damaged mentally from his experiences of the first film. I thought there was some interesting aspects to be told from this story, but in the end, he basically became the replacement for the Randy Quaid character for the sequel. Also back was the “not-dead” character of Dr. Brakish Okun (Brent Spiner), who came out of his coma for this story. Spiner was so over the top and ridiculous that I hated every moment he was on screen.

The only returning character that I felt was done somewhat okay was Jeff Goldblum’s David Levinson and that was because of Goldblum’s presence. David’s father Julius (the never aging Judd Hirsch) is here as well, somehow surviving an event that should have easily killed him only to wind up driving a bus full of random children to Area 51.

Not only were the characters weak, the dialogue was unbelievably campy and poorly written. Sure, the original film had campy dialogue as well, but this one sure seemed to take that camp to a whole new level.

Some of the CGI was not bad, but I definitely got a Star Wars: Episode I vibe from the film. You know, a load of crap on the screen at once, nothing that stands out as amazing. There were lots of ships shooting lasers through the sky, but none of it meant anything. And then, the ending sequence with the SPOILERS Queen looked as sloppy as you will get in CGI.

The film is really stupid and has little fun, unlike its predecessor, which took the campy, dumb action flick and gave you characters that you could care about. Go and watch the original if you want. It is considerably better.

1.9 stars

The Shallows

Posted on June 24, 2016 by Doc

A killer shark has returned to the big screen with the new film The Shallows, swimming into theaters this weekend. There have been a ton of big screen killer shark films, done to perfection with Steven Spielberg’s 1975 Jaws. The Shallows is not Jaws, but there are plenty of good thrills and tension to make this film worth a view.

After the death of her mother, Nancy (Blake Lively) went on a personal trek to find a special hidden Mexican beach that her mother had found while pregnant with Nancy. Nancy wants to escape the pain of her life and do some surfing. However, she is attacked by a shark and becomes stranded on a rock just off the coast of the beach. She attempts to survive against this vicious beast.

The film is beautifully shot. The water around these islands is astonishingly beautiful, full of amazing colors and shades of blue. No matter what else, this film is wonderful to watch.

Blake Lively is also as beautiful as the surroundings. Blake Lively is a gorgeous woman, and she fills the screen with her beauty. She is also very strong in this film. She has a compelling background that we get a flavor of and she portrays her pain and her fear. She is also very believable as a determined fighter not willing to give up despite the overwhelming odds.

The shark was very scary. The CGI of the shark really stood out to me as this creature looked awesome.

I enjoyed much of this film, but there were some problems. In particular, the ending (which I will not spoil) just seemed pretty dopey. In fact, it was almost unintentionally funny, which kind of spoiled a lot of the stress and suspense that had built up throughout the film.

Of course, there is required suspension of disbelief to make this believable and, at times, it might need to be stretched too far.

And there was a beginning surfing montage that was ok for a bit, but got long pretty quickly.

In the end, I was entertained by The Shallows and I found it suspenseful where they wanted the suspense to be. The ending was too laughable and made the previous parts less effective. If you approach this film with the proper mental preparation, you should enjoy our new deadly shark.

3.75 stars

The Treasure and the Bounty

Posted on June 21, 2016 by Doc

The Treasure and the Bounty

It had been a long time since these tired eyes had focused upon the city of Virginia City, Nevada, and yet, here I was. Despite being more recognized and associated with Hannibal, MO and the Mississippi River as well as the fact of being actually physically born in Florida, Missouri, many claim the city of Virginia City to be my birthplace. And in a sense, it is. You see, this town, where I hold so many fond memories of a misspent youth, was where I came into existence.

It was the birthplace of Mark Twain.

It was during my time here as one of the hard-working and under-appreciated silver miners, putting forth a challenging and honest effort, unlike the rapscallions of the US Congress who are not challenged nor honest, that the inspiration for my alter ego developed. It was my failure at the mining process that led to my employment at the Territorial Enterprise, one of the West’s least finest publications. And it was here where my better known pseudonym took root. Samuel Clemens was now just a footnote in the history of the universe. From this point forward, my nom de plume became my identity.

Yet, I digress. This story is not about me. I have not returned from the Midwest to Virginia City for personal glory or a pat on the back. Far from it. Inspiration has once again struck this self-professed wanderer to express the vernacular of a time and the compelling characters found within. It is for this reason that I have returned to the place of my “birth.”

The Bucket of Blood is not a literal phrase, but I could not have conceived of any more apropos moniker for a local saloon than that. The orneriest, bordering upon lunacy, scalleywags were regulars in this saloon, bringing a new definition to the word “colorful”. The attraction of the Bucket of Blood was unmistakable and unavoidable. It was where all patrons of the establishment, no matter how ugly… how vile… could come for refreshments of the potent variety. I have it on good authority that even the world’s most horrendous, Congressmen, would be allowed to drink, though one would wonder how long they would actually last with the dregs before either offending them or blending in.

The swing of the door opened easily and, immediately, the reputation of the Bucket of Blood was confirmed by my own eyes. How could this collection of reprobates be allowed to co-mingle outside of a secure location with armed men guarding the exterior? Putting those thoughts out of my head, the one individual whom I had traveled to find was in this room, and he stood out like a beacon on a foggy night, though I expect that was the last thing he had intended.

In the dark corner the man sat, a half-full (or should that be half-empty?) bottle of McCutcheon’s whiskey rested upon the table top in front of him. The shadows of the saloon cast across him, only serving to make him stick out even more. This was no ordinary varmint. Another shot of whiskey passed his lips as he scanned the area for any trouble, because he knew that trouble always found him. He was surprised the respite had lasted this long.

His reputation proceeded him wherever he had traveled. The tales of a ruthless killer and a bloodthirsty bounty hunter frightened some, but made for a challenge to others. The world of the outlaw was a rough one and any advantage that could be parlayed into further success had to be exploited. If a man could claim that he was the person to finally put him into the ground, well, his reputation would be rock solid. Because of that, even at his most intoxicated, Jonah Hex was on edge.

The scars on his face were truly hard to view. The punishment from an Apache tribe for the breaking of one of their sacred rules, the murder of an Apache, was a reminder forever of Jonah Hex’s lot in life. The confederate soldier uniform that he still wore, despite his departure from the Confederacy and his betrayal of the tenants of the South, had been stained with blood and dirtied from years of questionable behavior. Why Hex continued to wear the uniform was as much of an enigma as the man himself.

And this mystery was the real reason for my return trip to Virginia City. The tale of Jonah Hex and what would happen in this place brought me back from my own safety net, my security, to chronicle the events as they occur. This story was not about Samuel Clemens or Mark Twain. It was about what happened in Virginia City, Nevada, and how it affected Jonah Hex and those around him.

The bounty hunter sat at the shadowy table, hoping for the briefest respite from the chaos of his life, but knowing too well that hope was a fleeting emotion and not something that he was able to count as an ally. As Jonah Hex slammed back yet another shot of the expensive whiskey, he had no idea the ironic joke fate prepared to spring upon him.

Imbecile is a powerful word with many negative connotations, but, in this case, it would not be too strong a term. The dictionary definition of the word came unwittingly through the saloon entrance. The unmistakable stains and grub from a hard day in the mines colored their faces and clothes, but they were oblivious to, not only their appearance, but much more than that.

“Tell me, Theodore,” the round faced man said to his spindly associate, “why do we have to work in those mines? That’s hard work.”

“Now, Amos…” the bug-eyed man named Theodore said. “I told you once… the mine is just a necessary evil… this is where we STRIKE IT RICH!”

The excitement had overtaken Theodore and he had blurted that line out louder than he had intended. He immediately shushed Amos, twitching nervously around the saloon, bumping into yours truly. The air was suddenly filled with a dirt cloud from the clothing upon Theodore, engulfing me.

“Pardon me,” he said, straightening up. “Nice suit.”

“It was,” I said, brushing the new dirt off my white suit.

However, Theodore had lost interest in my plight as he spotted Hex drinking alone in the corner. His eyes bulged out even more, if that was possible, and his cheeks flopped in horror. Spinning around as quickly as he could, Theodore excused himself from me and scattered back to Amos.

“Amos… Jonah Hex…” Theodore’s teeth were tightly clenched and his attempts to be nonchalant only made him even twitchier… and incomprehensible.

“Flow spa specks?” Amos repeated, confused.

Theodore’s face scrunched in frustration, and he slightly tilted his head toward the corner table.

“Jonah Hex,” he said again through his clenched jaw.

“No naw sex?” Amos said, still confused.

Theodore closed his eyes and took a deep, nasally sniff. This was a scene that he was, unfortunately, not unfamiliar with, and he was no stranger to the frustration that came with being Amos’s friend. Just then, Amos saw the bounty hunter at the table. He turned his back to Hex and made eye contact with Theodore.

“Don’t look now, Theodore, but Jonah Hex is here,” Amos said, upon which he received a slap to the head by his colleague. “Hey, what was that for?”

“Why is Jonah Hex here?” a suspicious Theodore asked.

“He can’t be after us for Carson City?” Amos said, phrasing it as a question, but meaning it as a deep set hope. “Can he?”

“He’s a bounty hunter,” said Theodore, who followed that factual statement with one of the most ridiculous comments these old ears had ever processed, “and we’re desperate, dangerous outlaws.”

“What’ll we do?” Amos said.

“Let’s get outta here,” said Theodore.

Shoulder to shoulder, Theodore and Amos shuffled their feet slowly toward the exit, keeping their eyes fixed behind them on Hex. They looked for any sign from Jonah Hex that might require a faster pace from them. Unfortunately for the duo, the constant attention paid to Hex limited their perception across the saloon floor and they ran right into another patron.

“Watch what yer doin’!” exclaimed the tree of a man that Theodore and Amos had bumped into, and despite the fact that the bump was hardly noticeable, the man reacted physically. He swung at Theodore, who ducked. The blow struck Amos, sending him hurtling across the saloon. Amos ricocheted into another customer, who shoved Amos back as well, projecting Amos into a different direction like a bullet deflecting off the wall.

It would have been pathetic if it had not been so humorous.

Amos’s journey came to a halt when he smashed into the table, the bottle of whiskey crashing to the floor. The remaining alcohol poured free from the container, lost forever among the dirt and grime of the floor of the Bucket of Blood. Amos watched the whiskey disappear, drop by drop, as if he were frozen in time. He silently hoped that he hadn’t ended his voyage where he thought he had.

The sound of the gun being cocked removed that hope.

“You done made a bad mistake, Mister,” Hex said, extending the firearm at the back of the man who had knocked over his table.
Amos turned slowly around to face the bounty hunter, his eyes crossed as the cold iron poked just below his nose.

“Howdy, Jonah,” Amos said, hands in the air.

Hex’s face dropped as the wave of recognition washed over him.

“Aw, Hell,” Hex said.

Top of Form

Bottom of Form

Hex hesitated before lowering his gun. One could only imagine what thoughts were running through Hex’s head, the possibilities of freedom from the incessant idiot standing cross-eyed before him. Theodore moved over beside Amos, with his hands raised as well.

“Both of ya? Course…” Hex grumbled, placing his gun back into its place.

“Howdy, Jonah,” said Theodore, echoing what his partner had said just a few seconds before.

“What are you two idiots doing here?” Hex said. “And how much will it cost to get you the hell out of here?”

“Aren’t you after us?” Amos said.

“Amos!” Theodore said, flashing him an angry face. “Inxay on the bountyay”

“You gotta be kiddin’ me,” Hex said, with disbelief etched all over his face. Hex looked down to the spilled whiskey knowing there was not enough to rescue that could help him forget this. “Hightail it outta here.”

But before the infamous Apple Dumpling Gang could follow those instructions, another man strode confidently into the Bucket of Blood and a hush came across the saloon. It was rare when the sheriff of Virginia City set foot in this establishment, but when he did, the assembled patrons knew that there would be no good come of it. Theodore and Amos stood still as Little Bill Daggett moved toward Hex. Each man he passed, dropped their head and quietly whispered “Little Bill” or “Sheriff”. The saloon had ground to a halt.

“Well now,” Little Bill said, “what do we have here? Would this be the one and only Jonah Hex is my town? What business do you have here, Hex?”

Jonah continued looking at the whiskey bottle on the floor, trying to determine how things got so complicated so quickly. The image of Amos kept flashing cross his mind. Shoulda shot him when I had the chance, Hex thought.

“Cat got yer tongue, Hex?” Little Bill continued. “That surely ain’t right. When a man speaks to you, especially a man of the law, the only right thing is to be respondin’, What business bring you to Virginia City, Hex?”

“No business…” Hex said. “Just havin’ a drink.”

Little Bill laughed a deep belly laugh.

“I never knew you was funny, Hex. Jonah hex… bounty hunter… court jester,” Little Bill said. Hex was emotionless as the tension int he bar escalated. Even I found myself cover for I knew the dangers of ricocheting lead for innocent bystanders and I figured that my odds of survival only increased by placing myself behind the player piano.

Theodore and Amos were not as wise, as the pair stood still… motionless… their eyes fixed upon the confrontation playing itself out in the saloon. The rest of the patrons and the barkeep scattered to the four winds. The Apple Dumpling Gang remained stationary… targets.

“I shall repeat myself, Hex… what brings you to my city?” Little Bill said. “I will not repeat myself again.”

“Howdy,” Theodore said, interjecting himself into the conversation. “Let’s not get too jumpy. Jonah is here after us.”

“No I’m not,” Hex said.

“Sure , he is… and we’re ready to go now, ain’t we Amos?” Theodore said.

“Huh?” Amos responded.

“Come on, Jonah, take us back to claim the bounty,” Theodore said, stretching each syllable out to make it obvious to all that he was trying to get his point across to Hex. Hex just shook his head.

“So if you are wanted men,” Little Bill said, “then I should take you in myself.”

Theodore’s eyes bulged again. He hadn’t considered that. And Theodore was the brains of the outfit. Little Bill grabbed Theodore by the arm with a force, buckling his knees. He then grabbed Amos as well.

“Hold on there,” Hex said, taking a step forward, reaching for his gun, but before anything else could happen, Little Bill shoved Theodore into Hex, followed by Amos. Hex’s gun was knocked from his hand and the bounty hunter dropped in a pile beneath the pair. “Get off’n me!”

But as soon as Theodore and Amos rolled from atop Hex, Little John had his own gun drawn and aimed directly at Hex.

“Jonah Hex… you and your little gang are under arrest.”

The cold steel bars of the jail cell told its frustrating tune as Jonah Hex stared off into space. Sitting on the jail cell floor on either side of him was Amos and Theodore, and Hex was doing everything he could to keep from strangling them. As Hex debated silently inside his head about the benefits of choking the pair out, Theodore started talking.

“Listen Jonah, Amos and me were here to strike it rich. Iff’n you want, we could cut you in on the claim.”

Hex shook his head. They never shut up, he thought

“You see, there is a treasure in them there hills…” Theodore said, with a laugh and a sniff. Amos started laughing too. They both stopped laughing when they realized that Hex was not laughing. Clearing his throat, Theodore continued. “See… there has been a story for years about a hidden treasure outside of Virginia City, and Amos and me are fixin’ to find it.”

“Yes sir…” Amos said, nodding in full agreement.

“And we could cut you in iff’n you want… once we’re outta here… we could work together to…”

“I know about the treasure,” Hex said, an icy chill on each word.

“You do?” Amos said, surprised.

“Yep,” Hex said.

“Oh…” Theodore said, “so you came here to go after it too?’

“No,” Hex said. “That’s not why I am here.”

As this conversation was happening in the jail cell, across town at the hotel Little Bill knocked on the door. Looking over his shoulder, he entered the room. A black haired man with a long mustache waited ominously.

“Is it true? Is it Jonah Hex?” the man said.

“Yes, but I have him and these two squirrelly accomplices of his in my jail right now. I don’t think there a gonna be a problem.”

“Don’t underestimate Hex,” he replied. “If he’s breathin’, he’s dangerous.”

“Well, Mr. Cavendish…” said Little Bill, “I guess we’ll have to go a fixin’ that.”

Butch Cavendish sat down in the chair, lit up of cigar and smiled.

An hour later, Little Bill walked into the jail, and he leaned up against the bars.

“So, Mr. Hex… it looks like we’ll be havin’ ourselves a hangin'”
The rope draped across his neck, brushing against the whiskers from a day’s worth of not shaving. The assembled crowd had shown up expectin’ fireworks, but so far they had been right disappointed. Jonah Hex, the infamous bounty hunter, stood upon the platform preparing for the end.

The two on either side of him did not look like they belo9nged with the bounty hunter, but the town sheriff, Little Bill, had said they were in cahoots and the crowd either didn’t care or was too afraid to question him. That was not an uncommon situation.

Little Bill stood before Hex and shook his head.

“Do you have anything to say to the crowd… words to appease your tortured soul or to pay respects to those poor innocents that you sent to the great beyond prior to their time?” Little Bill spoke in poetry, but he knew his motives were not clear. Yet, he would not allow that to prevent him from doing what he had to do.

“Yeah… I’d like to say somethin’,” said Amos, but a flash from the cold stare of Little Bill stopped him still. Amos understood that the offer was only extended to Hex.

Jonah Hex stared at Little Bill, a grim visage reflecting the nerves of steel. In the distance, a sound of a hee hawing burro cut through the tension. Hex cracked the slightest smile.

“Maybe you would want to hold off,” Hex said, nodding toward the distance.

An old man slowly walked, pulling at the bridal of a burro, who did not seem to be too interested in moving as quickly as the situation demanded. The man was not being too kindly toward the animal.

“Now Number Seven, you flea-bitten varmint. I have never in my life ever come across a critter as ornery or stubborn as you were… you, pardon the expression, mule-headed beast. I swear, maybe it is time we be lookin’ fer a Number Eight.”

Little Bill stared at the old man as he dragged the burro toward the gathering.

“Now hold on a minute… I’s got somethin’ to say,” he said, wrapping the bridal of Number Seven

“We do not have time for these games, old man,” Little Bill said.

“Ah…. well, there is the problem… because I think you’d be wantin’ to make time for me,” he said. “My name’s Mad Jack, and I’ve been traipsing these hills and lands for… well, for a might. And I do believe, Sheriff, that you need to hear what I got ta say.”

Mad Jack tossed something up to the platform. The golden circle landed at Little Bill’s feet. The form of a golden dubloon clanked on the wood platform. Little Bill stared in disbelief at the treasure before him. The crowd gasped when they realized that the old fool had found the treasure… the treasure that they all believed was nothing more than a myth.

“Now, you’ll be lettin’ my friend Jonah Hex and the two little fellas with him go, or you will never know where that came from,” Jack said.

Hex added, “and we know that the real power around here wouldn’t like that… now would he?”

“So you’re a thief, Mr. Jack?” said Little Bill.

“What in tarnation are you talkin’ `bout, Sheriff. Why I ain’t never heard such hogwash in all my years of travel. I have a legally obtained deed fer the land and the claim… well… it is signed by you, Sheriff. Everything here is completely legal.”

Little Bill’s face curled in anger. He knew he was stuck. He could not risk the fact that this old man was telling the truth. That treasure was the reason behind it all.

“So…” Hex said, his hands still tied behind his back. “What are you going to do, Little Bill?”

Little Bill held the level in his hand, caressing it. One tug of the lever and the floor beneath the platform would give out and the three troublemakers would be gone. He could pull the lever and still take out the old man, but the lawlessness of the entire situation would not appear right. He had a reputation to uphold. But the conflict was digging deep in his evil soul. He knew Cavendish would not be happy. This was a lose-lose…

So he pulled the lever…..

The tension left the rope as the stage beneath the bounty hunter and his twitchy colleagues dropped away. The three of them dropped toward the ground, preparing for the ropes draped around their necks to end their fall.

A shot rang out… and another… and another.

The rapid fire shots punctured each rope, before it could tighten around the necks of Hex and the Apple Dumpling Gang. It sent Little Bill diving for cover, gun in hand, scanning the area for where the shots came from. The assembled crowd scattered, screaming.

I was standing near the recent arrival, the man they call Mad Jack. Mad Jack was shocked when Little Bill had pulled the lever, sending Hex to his believed death, and he was just as shocked when the trick shots severed the hangman’s rope.

“Come on, Number Seven…” Jack said, pulling at his loyal friend’s bridle, “we done need to get to cover.”

The beys of the animal was lost among the chaos in the streets. Another shot bounced from the stage. This shot was an obvious cover shot…a warning. I mean, we just seen this gunman take three bullets through the hangman’s rope sparing the lives of the doomed trio. He wasn’t going to fire such a wild shot now.

Beneath the stage, Hex wriggled his hands from behind him and worked on his binds. He knew he did not have the time to waste, but he could not help himself. He untied Theodore and Amos.

“Stay outta the way,” he warned, hoping to find himself a weapon.

I decided that I needed to find myself some cover as well, so I followed Mad Jack. He had moved his burro to an alleyway, and had braced himself behind a fence post. Bracing myself beside him, I pictured the easy days traveling down the Mississippi on a steamboat, the sun setting upon the West, and a tasty drink in hand. How did I wind up here?

“This ain’t no place for a city slicker,” Mad Jack said, seeing the dust cover my white suit.

“Of that, I cannot argue,” I said. The sight of the man leaping from above Mad Jack caused me to yell out at the old mountain man. “Look out!”

Before my words could warn Jack, the man was standing behind him, shoving his six shooter in the old man’s face.

“Easy does it, old man,” he said, the gun resting on Jack’s chest. The man looked to me. “Stand up and move into the alleyway.”

“Who are you?” I said, as I followed his instructions. “What do you want?”

“My name is Jack Wilson… and I think this old fool knows what I want.”

Bottom of Form

“You’ll be wantin’ to be lettin’ Mad Jack go,” said Hex, gun in hand, as he entered the alleyway. I wouldn’t mind telling you that I was becoming a might uncomfortable in this situation. I had not planned on being in the middle of any kind of shootout, but it certainly appeared that that plan had gone the way of the dodo.

As Jack Wilson held his iron on Mad Jack, Hex moved strategically into the alley. I could see Theodore and Amos in the distance, wisely keeping it. I wondered how long that good sense would continue.

“Now Now, Jonah Hex,” said Wilson, “where be yer gratitude. If’n not fer me, you’d be swinging from that contraption still. I do believe that you owe me yer life… what there will be of it.”

“I appreciate the help, but that don’t mean you can put a gun to my friend’s chest,’ Hex said. “Leave Jack alone, take yer leave, and there will be no trouble between us. I am not here fer you.”

“And I am not here your you, Hex. I am here for what yer old friend here was throwing around. The treasure of these here parts. I’m here for the Lost Dutchman.”

“You are dang blamed nuts. The Dutchmen isn’t around these parts. It’s in the Arizona area,” said Mad Jack, adding, “Dang fool.”

“You know that is not truthful, coot,” said Jack Wilson. “In fact, I do believe you know it first hand. That deed you have in yer possession gives you the rights to the Dutchman itself. Am I not correct?”

“If you want the deed,” Hex said, “let Jack go, and it i all yours… no questions asked.”

Wilson paused at the unexpected words spoken from Jonah Hex. It caught me off guard as well. There had been speculation over the years about a hidden treasure in this area, but it was widely regarded as a hoax… or a myth… to drum up tourism… to attract folks to the city. I had never considered the possibility that it was the truth… let alone it being the legendary Lost Dutchman mine.

“I let the old fool go, and he gives me the deed outright, and we part friends?” said Wilson.

“Yep,” replied Hex.

“What kind of fool do you take me fer?” Wilson said.

“I ain’t here for the Dutchman,” said Hex. Wilson had a doubtful expression on his face until Hex said four specific words. “You have my word.”

“I am afraid, I cannot allow that,” said Little Bill, who walked into the alleyway, joining the growing tension. Bill had Theodore and Amos tied together and had a gun against Amos’s head. I curse myself for losing my view of the Apple Dumpling Gang, though I should be excused for not wanting to take my eyes from the standoff going on around me.

“I wondered how long it would take you to get here, Little Bill,” Hex said.

“It looks like we are all here,” said Little Bill.

Jonah looked around and said, “Not yet.”

To Be Concluded

Option Pick: The Lost Dutchman Gold Mine

Top of Form

There had been many times in my life where I had wished that I had taken a different path… a different choice…

This was one of those times.

I had certainly not intended to find myself on the business end of a gun, let alone several of them. Yet my trip to the birthplace of my moniker, the mining town of Virginia City, Nevada, had not been the pleasurable trip I had hoped. But interesting… that it were.

Jonah Hex, bounty hunter extraordinaire, stood in the alleyway beside me while the dangerous gunman Jack Wilson held his gun upon the old mountain man Mad Jack. Mad Jack had a claim to a parcel of land that he claimed held the location of the mysterious Lost Dutchman Mine. It was believed that the mine was in Arizona, but Mad Jack had used this piece of information to waylay a hangin’… if only fer a moment.

Sheriff Little Bill Daggett was in the alleyway as well, and he had his own hostages. Theodore and Amos, dubbed the Apple Dumpling Gang, the last pair that you would expect to be at the side of a cold hearted bounty hunter like Hex. But at his side they were.

But Hex was waiting for one more guest. The one he was really after. Treasure held little appeal for Jonah Hex. He was after something else. He was after what he was always after… the bounty.

And so, through coincidence and bad luck, we all wound up together in a standoff of all standoffs… a standoff where I knew… we all did… that we all would not survive.

“Where’s yer boss, Daggett?” Hex said.

“No man’s my boss, bounty hunter,” replied Little Bill, the venom spewing from his lips.

“Fine,” Hex said, “Where’s Cavendish?”

Butch Cavendish was an escaped felon… a criminal of the worst kind. This was the first time that Hex had mentioned his name, but everyone knew that Cavendish was the real reason Hex was in Virginia City. There was a huge bounty on Cavendish’s head… dead or alive. Just the challenge Hex loved to undertake.

“Cavendish is here?” asked Wilson, turning green.

“Bring him here,” Hex said to Little Bill.

“It would appear that you are lacking some leverage, Hex. Mr. Wilson has your old friend and I have your idiot friends. Why should I worry about what you want?” Little Bill said.

“Because I’m the only one who knows the location of the mine. Mad Jack’s deed is a fake. He don’t know nothin’ about the location of the Dutchman.”

Mad Jack laughs.

Little Bill looked at the mangled face of the bounty hunter and he knew…. Hex was telling him the truth. He turned to me.

“Mr. Twain,” Little Bill said. Funny, I was unaware that anyone here knew who I was. The power of anonymity had been overwhelming, but I realized at this moment, it had been a smoke screen. “I would like you to go fetch my associate.” With that, Little Bill whispered a place in my ear and beckoned me to go. My heart raced as I rushed across the town with only my imagination to fill the gaps of what was occurring in the alleyway. I am sure whatever my pen could write, it would not match the tension of the truth.

It did not take much convincin’ to bring Cavendish to the alleyway.

The hail of fire in the alley filled the morning sky, a sound of gunfire scatterin’ the people. Their skills were like surgeons. Hex offered Wilson the mine for his loyalty. Hex did not want the Dutchman. He wanted Cavendish. In the end, Little Bill and Cavendish were overwhelmed by the bounty hunter and the trickshooter. Even the mountain man fired off his rifle. The body of Cavendish ended strapped to the back of Hex’s horse.

At least… that is what I wrote. I admit, I never returned to the alley. Self preservation took over. I try not to think of myself as a coward… just a realist. And a smart man. I haven’t lived as long as I have by being foolish.

Hannibal, MO never felt so good.

The Ballad of Groo in Oz

Posted on June 21, 2016 by Doc

Groosofftoseethewizard

Part I

The magic kingdom known as Oz had never thought they’d see,

Worse trouble than a wicked witch and her flying monkey.

The little girl from Kansas, her dog inside the basket,

With her house she killed a witch, the Munchkins popped a gasket.

And ruby slippers on her feet, she carried quite the load,

Singing toward the city of green, down the yellow brick road.

Where she would throw some water on an unsuspecting witch,

And the witch cried out that Dorothy was a meddlesome… MELTING, I’M MELTING

But once the girl had left the land, back over the rainbow,

A warrior so mighty but with less brains than Scarecrow,

Arrived in Oz with swords ablaze one fine and handsome day,

Any semblance of sanity was thusly chased away.

Don’t ever call him “MENDICANT,” don’t let it slip your lip,

And if you do, prepare to offer him all your cheese dip.

`Cuz although he knows not what the word “mendicant” does mean,

His violence will be triggered more than you have ever seen.

A master swordsman he may be, though he is quite the tool,

And luck be not your lady as you’ll feel just like a fool.

With him it’s just as likely that a victim you will be,

And you will have to watch him destroy all your property.

The Wanderer may not intend such chaos to dispense,

But plans and thoughts don’t cross his head because he’s rather dense.

The Winkies, Witches, Lions, Munchkins; they all have no clue,

The Land of Oz has never seen a specimen like Groo.

Moral: Not all dreams come true… some nightmares do too”

Groo II

The Ballad of Groo in Oz Part II

Oz is a magical land

Over the Rainbow it’s found

A good chance exists Groo’s band

Will tear down Oz to the ground

The first of the team Groo met.

Had white whiskers and blue skin.

Bad luck he hoped to offset

Despite his feeling chagrin.

Papa Smurf was a wizard

And a wise village leader.

He made potions with lizard

In his tree house of cedar

The Smurf patriarch was he

Knowledgeable, gentle, wise.

His hobby was alchemy

Elixirs he would devise.

Energetic for his age

At five hundred forty two

It feels worse for the blue mage

When he spends his time with Groo.

Into the house Groo entered,

The thought not ever crossing,

How terrible would be centered

Over which Groo was glossing.

“Good to see you, my friend, Groo,

Please enter my tree house.”

Papa Smurf’s hopes will construe

Those famous last words espouse.

Papa Smurf was diligent,

Working on his next potion.

A special brewed supplement

Of which he had a notion.

“Careful, Groo, it’s delicate

And it’s likely flammable.”

His statement was definite

If not, it was laughable.

Ox-like, Groo said, “Let me see!”

And stomped toward the concoction.

Groo’s mass sent the mixture free

Like cattle herd at auction.

The plume of smoke pillared out.

Flames ignited through the air.

Groo looked at the charbroiled sprout

And he asked him, “Did I err?”

Moral: “Some things are better done alone.”

For the Ballad of Groo in Oz Part III
The tale of a very special kitty
Known as a hero to the great unwashed hordes.
Puss in Boots is the small orange cat’s name,
Heroic action’s this cat’s claim to fame.
Wearing black boots, a hat, and crossing his swords.
When his path passed with Groo one sunny day,
He challenged Groo with a hearty ole’
With a slash of his sword, Puss pushed on ahead.
Though Groo does not have much in way of brains,
Swordplay is a skill Groo always maintains.
A challenge to Groo’s like a bull seeing red.
Puss moved on Groo with a parry and thrust,
But the savage response left Puss nonplussed.
Puss realized that he had made a mistake.
Puss bowed and removed his Cavalier hat,
“You’re a true hero,” said the tabby cat.
“Together, villains shall tremble in our wake!”
Groo said, “Bah,” and started to walk away.
“Hold up senor,” Puss said, “Please if I may.
I will convince you!” Puss held out his small paw.
So Groo looked back at the wide, blue-eyed stare.
The cat’s hat held in his paws with a flair.
The Wanderer’s melted with just one word: “Awwwww”

Moral: If you can’t beat them, suck up.

Groo 4

Groo in Oz Part IV
Rhyming with Groo

As Groo walked through the Land of Oz one bright and shiny day,
He came across a giant on a bridge blocking his way.
The giant held a rock in his formidable hand,
His friendly smile seemed out of place like it was no man’s land.
Groo walked up to the giant looking him square in the waist.
“I wish to pass by on this bridge, so move without much haste.”
The giant said, “Anchovy paste,” rhyming with Groo’s last phrase.
Then Groo asked him, “What was that?” vexed within a state of haze.
“Alley Cat,” the giant said, spotting Puss with a gesture.
Groo yelled, “Stop it right now!” as the rhymes began to fester.
“Beschäftigt hausfrauhe,“ he did say, rhyming now in German.
Groo unsheathed both of his swords to give a giant sermon.
“Calm down, Groo,“ said Papa Smurf not wishing a violent scene.
“Yabbadabbadoo,“ the mammoth man sang in his routine.
“Now that did it,“ Groo exclaimed,“ prepare yourself for battle.“
The giant grasped his rock tightly, “That’s just foolish prattle.“
Before Groo could explode, Puss in Boots stepped in the middle.
Puss said, “Sir, if you’d be kind to help me with a riddle.
Why do you insist to rhyme every word that we do say?“
The giant paused a moment and then said, “I like to play.“
“I mean you no harm,“ he did say, putting down his boulder.
“I like you, little friend,“ patting Groo upon his shoulder.
Groo put away his swords, knowing there’d be no fight today,
And the giant stepped aside avoiding the painful fray.
“But I am lonely all the time,“ the giant sadly said.
“Could I join your band of cohorts,“ the giant all but pled.
“OK,“ Groo said,“ but keep the rhymes to a bare minimum.“
“Yes, I promise,“ he did say, adding, “Ceylon cinnamon“
Groo slapped his head at the last rhyme and moved on cross the bridge.
The giant snatched up Puss and Papa, placing them on his back.
“My name is Fezzik,“ said the giant, his head in the skies.
“Devil’s walking stick,“ the cat rhymed, making Groo roll his eyes.

Groo V

The Ballad of Groo in Oz Part V

Fezzik looked at his new mate
This he thought was really great.
Papa Smurf and Puss in Boots
Gave the giant two salutes.
Fezzik turned and said to Groo
“I know what we have to do.
In the town there is a man,
Who will fit in with this clan.
He’s my friend; to him we go.
You may call him Inigo.”
With those words Fezzik lumbered
Excitement unencumbered.
Unlikely this committee
Approached Emerald City
And inside the walls of green
Two old friends would reconvene.
Inigo and Fezzik hug
Puss and Groo exchanged a shrug.
“Welcome, after your long trip,
Can I offer you cheese dip?”
Sparkles in the eyes of Groo
As he lunged for the fondue.
Inigo had never seen
A cheese dip eating machine
Papa Smurf’s fingers did drum
“I’m not sure we should have come.
Bringing Groo to this green place,
Will we cause it to debase?”
“You worry too much,” Puss said,
“It’s not like we’ll end up dead.”
“About us, I do not fear,”
Papa Smurf said with a sneer,
“But first hand I did witness,
The dangers of Groo’s fitness,
And citizens of this town,
Could behold it tumble down.”
At the Smurf Inigo laughed
Saying, “Sir you are quite daft.
Look at that chap eating there,
He’s no danger, this I swear.
Witches, beasties, all the sort,
Come to Oz where they cavort.
What exactly do you think?
That this guy’s the missing link?”
Papa Smurf jumped on a trunk.
“Did you know Atlantis sunk?
Across the land the plague smeared,
And the Incas disappeared.
The taste treat called Soylent Green,
And the life of Charlie Sheen.
Camelot was brought to shame.
Do you know who was to blame?”
With the news Inigo heard
Fears inside him were now spurred.
Measured on a massive scale,
Groo in Oz an epic fail.

Moral: Groo is not always what he seems

Groo VI

The Ballad of Groo in Oz Part VI

As the Wanderers departed from Inigo’s jade house
The streets of Emerald City were quiet as a mouse.
The eerie silence scared them all and cause them to quiver.
Except, of course, for Groo who was thinking with his liver.

The sparkle from the green buildings as the sun slowly set,
Shone brightly as they saw a Munchkin attempting to jet.
Fezzik reached his hand and grabbed the Munchkin by the collar.
The little fellow was scared, he couldn’t even holler.

“I mean you no harm. Please don’t hurt me,” cried the little man.
“If you free me I will give you everything that I can.”
They watched him as the little man kicked his feet in the air.
But Fezzik’s grip was strong, he wasn’t going anywhere.

“Pardon me senor, what has gotten you in such trouble?”
With a smile asked Inigo, invading the man’s bubble.
“Such horrors,” said the Munchkin, “Life in Oz is rather grim.”
At Groo Papa Smurf pointed, “It cannot be worse than him.”

“It is, O short one,” said the Munchkin to the little Smurf.
“I fear that nothing can be done to protect Oz’s turf.”
The quaking in his voice ensconsed the group at high alert,
Except, of course, for Groo, whose will was about to assert.

“Speak, little man!” screamed Groo. “Speak your mind, do not hold your tongue.
Your luck has changed as Groo is here, these terrors will be stung.”
A shiver crossed the Munchkins spine, ironic to the max.
Could Oz be saved by Groo from the dangers of the Sleestaks?

Groo VII

The Ballad of Groo in Oz Part VII
Dogs and Cats

With the Sleestaks in Oz, bad trouble was near
And Groo’s on the case, so there’s plenty to fear.
The only thing left that was not a pity.
To chase them Groo had left Emerald City.
Then Groo and his friends walked the Yellow Brick Road
The Sleestak riddle they had hoped to decode.
When look who they found on their way down the lane.
Groo’s dog Rufferto reunited again.
When spotting his master, his tail he did wave,
Rufferto loved Groo, his attention did crave.
But Puss in Boots could not believe what he saw…
He arched his back, hissed and unsheathed his cat claws.
Yet Groo’s dog Rufferto, he gave Puss no heed.
To be with his master was all he would need.
Though Rufferto had gotten lost in the land,
Groo had not yet noticed his dog was offhand.
Unnerved by the canine, Puss in Boots said, “Groo
I’ll get you, my pretty, and your little dog too.”
Groo was bewildered and to Puss he said, “What?”
The cat answered, “What do we need with this mutt?”
Groo said, “The same reason I keep you around,
A fresh fricassee when no food can be found.”
Puss burst in laughter despite the sudden glitch,
That Groo really saw him as a cat sandwich.

Groo VIII

The Ballad of Groo in Oz Part VIII

As Groo and his companions
Moved thru the forest that day
They came across a canyan
And a Knight blocking the way.
With this bloke was something strange
Unlike even the worst dregs,
About him this was a change
This knight had no arms or legs.
“None shall pass,” the torso said.
“I move for no man or batch.”
Groo looked shocked, “How aren’t you dead?”
He said, “This? `Tis but a scratch.”
Puss said, “It looks worse than that.”
And then Papa Smurf agreed.
On his head, Fezzik did pat,
While Inigo said, “Indeed.”
“Come,” Groo said, “We must depart.
This Black Knight’s fate has been sealed.”
“The blood still pumps through my heart,
Never shall my duty yield!”
“Are you nuts? What can you do?
Even Puss would win,” Groo coughed.
“When faced with the swords of Groo,”
He said, “I’ll bite your legs off.
I’m invincible,” said he,
“The honorable Black Knight.
You yellow bastards should flee
So you will not lose this fight.”
Groo smiled at the bravado
The Black Knight’s torso did show.
He’s one tough desperado.
Their meting was apropos.
Groo said, “Fezzik, grab the Knight,
Let’s carry him on our quest.”
Who would guess that he just might
Become much more than a pest?

Groo Part IX

The Ballad of Groo in Oz Part IX

And so we have come to the end of this tale
A story about the one true alpha male
The big battle between Groo and the Sleestak
Would ravage the land with each vicious attack.
Though the confrontation brought them both much fame
The Land of Oz will never be quite the same.
The exploits in this ballad which I do sing,
Do not do justice to the actual thing.
The horrors and terrors you just can’t believe,
Some natives were shocked at what they did achieve.
Course everyone should have known what to expect
Wherever Groo goes things do tend to get wrecked.