It is the last Wednesday of the June Swoon and I needed to pull out one more live action short. I searched through YouTube and I found a short called Crash Site that starred Steven Yeun and Sam Richardson. I like Steven Yeun a lot so I made this be my short for the June Swoon 5.
To summarize this, Crash Site sure seems as if this is “What if Close Encounters of the Third Kind came to us as SIMON, the game of electronic game of short-memory skill.
According to IMDB, “Two men discover the crash site of a mysterious object. As one of them begins investigating the strange find, his fascination soon turns into a dangerous obsession.“
The mysterious object is a weird black box that Steven Yeun takes home with him after they saw this crash. He then goes about trying to figure out what it was. It was literally like SIMON and made little beeps as he pressed buttons.
The story then started as someone arrived, pounding on his door and breaking in…just as SIMON was starting to work.
Then the film was done.
This felt like a short that was way too short. The story was missing rising action and a climax. All we got was an inciting incident.
There was so much more that what was here. I am amazed that you got a big star like Steven Yeun (and Sam Richardson, who was there for a minute) to do this.
I liked the short, but it was so incomplete that it was hardly worth watching.
Written: Clifford Harris / Jr. / Pharrell Williams / Robin Thicke/Al Yankovic
Genre: Rap/Disco/R&B
Topic: Your bad grammar (NOT YOU’RE BAD GRAMMAR!)
I have shown this to my 7th grade literacy class since the release in 2014. It has all kinds of my personal gripes over grammar and the people who just do not know how important grammar is.
If you can’t write in the proper way If you don’t know how to conjugate Maybe you flunked that class And maybe now you find That people mock you online
Okay, now here’s the deal I’ll try to educate ya Gonna familiarize You with the nomenclature You’ll learn the definitions Of nouns and prepositions Literacy’s your mission And that’s why I think it’s a
Good time To learn some grammar Now, did I stammer Work on that grammar You should know when It’s “less” or it’s “fewer” Like people who were Never raised in a sewer
I hate these word crimes Like I could care less That means you do care At least a little Don’t be a moron You’d better slow down And use the right pronoun Show the world you’re no clown Everybody wise up!
Say you got an “I”, “T” Followed by apostrophe, “s” Now what does that mean? You would not use “it’s” in this case As a possessive It’s a contraction What’s a contraction? Well, it’s the shortening of a word, or a group of words By the omission of a sound or letter
Okay, now here’s some notes Syntax you’re always mangling No “x” in “espresso” Your participle’s danglin’ But I don’t want your drama If you really wanna Leave out that Oxford comma Just keep in mind
That “be”, “see”, “are”, “you” Are words, not letters Get it together Use your spellchecker You should never Write words using numbers Unless you’re seven Or your name is Prince
I hate these word crimes You really need a Full time proofreader You dumb mouth-breather Well, you should hire Some cunning linguist To help you distinguish What is proper English
One thing I ask of you Time to learn your homophones is past due Learn to diagram a sentence too Always say “to whom” Don’t ever say “to who” And listen up when I tell you this I hope you never use quotation marks for emphasis You finished second grade I hope you can tell If you’re doing good or doing well About better figure out the difference Irony is not coincidence And I thought that you’d gotten it through your skull What’s figurative and what’s literal Oh but, just now, you said You literally couldn’t get out of bed That really makes me want to literally Smack a crowbar upside your stupid head
I read your e-mail It’s quite apparent Your grammar’s errant You’re incoherent Saw your blog post It’s really fantastic That was sarcastic (Oh, psych!) ‘Cause you write like a spastic
I hate these Word Crimes Your prose is dopey Think you should only Write in emoji Oh, you’re a lost cause Go back to pre-school Get out of the gene pool Try your best to not drool
Never mind I give up Really now I give up Hey, hey, hey Hey, hey, hey Go away!
Disney + gives me an option to skip the intro, but it will never be done. The opening theme is one of the best and most entertaining themes of all time. It is just like X-Men ’97, I will always watch the theme song.
The second episode the series has another classic song that I loved, which was “Lydia, the Tattooed Lady” sung by Kermit. That was the opening act in the show.
There was a running gag with Fozzie kept overhearing Gonzo asking people about his “Teddy Bear,” which is old and ratty, and Fozzie believed that they were all referring to him.
Ernie and Bert made a guest appearance from Sesame Street so Bert could sing a song with guest Connie Stevens (“Some Enchanted Evening”). Connie had sung Teenager in Love earlier in the episode with the back-up group, The Mutations, (Not the Temptations).
There was a cool version of “Ain’t Misbehavin'” sung by Floyd. I have a feeling this was one of those acts included in the British show replacing commericals.
Guest: Joel Grey
Episode three would have been the first place I saw Joel Grey, Broadway legend and EYG Hall of Famer. Grey did two songs, a version of Willkommen from Cabaret and Razzle Dazzle from Chicago. Both were great performances.
Fozzie was involved in the running backstage story again, which was that Fozzie was working on his act of telling a joke over any topic mentioned. He was becoming annoying backstage, but he wound up nailing it onstage after Statler and Waldorf tossed out the topic “anemia.”
Rowlf portrayed Sherlock Holmes in a skit about a murder. It was a cute bit.
Wayne and Wanda made their debut as a singing group, doing Stormy Weather. Wayne and Wanda would start their regular act where something horrible that wrecked their act here. Wayne and Wanda made a cameo appearance in the Connie Stevens episode but did not sing.
Love the Muppet Show and I am excited about continuing this rewatch.
I started another show today on HBO Max. Rick and Morty is an animated program that I have seen a few episodes from over the years, but not as many as I would have liked. Seeing the whole series available on HBO Max recently gave me the happy chance to see everything.
What I know of Rick and Morty was introduced immediately as Rick showed himself to be a poor influence, a drunken-mad scientist using his grandson Morty for his own warped, dimensional means. In “Lawnmower Dog” there are two major arcs: One was going into Morty’s math teacher’s dreams to try and get Morty an A in math and two trying to prevent Morty’s dog, Snuffles, who was given intelligence from Rick, from taking over the world.
Rick and Morty parody several movies & TV shows, including Steven King’s Lawnmower Man. There was also a parody within the episode of Freddy Krueger, called Scary Terry. They made some references to the Christopher Nolan movie, Inception as well.
The character of Rick is unlike any character on TV. He truly is a horrible person, and I know he will only get worse as the show moves on. I am not even sure that Rick could be given the benefit of the doubt that he cares about his family.
The show is very funny and I am looking forward to continuing this show watch as the days and months come.
During the June Swoon, I have had the opportunity to watch several foreign films over the years. Today, I watched a French film from director Richard Linklater called Nouvelle Vague. Nouvelle Vague told the story of the filming of the French New Wave classic “Breathless” from director Jean-Luc Godard.
I had a little bit of trouble getting into the movie at first, which might have had to do with the French speaking going on, but it was not too far into the movie that I had become enthralled with the wild portrayal of the filming of the movie. Godard was anything but a typical director and his style and chocies were driving the people around him crazy.
Guillaume Marbeck played Godard with a flare and a carefreeness that was contagious. The performance of the lead actress of the movie, Jean Seberg, played by Zoey Deutch, was outstanding. She played both the joy of the creation of the film and the frustration of not understanding Godard’s vision beautifully and I thought she was a standout of the movie. She had chemistry with Aubry Dullin, the actor who played Jean-Paul Belmondo, the lead character of Breathless.
The film was shot in black and white and it helped to create the mood of the story. It was a lovely looking film that helped portray how unconventional Godard’s style.
The non-English speaking films are some times pushed back on my watchlist because of the subtitles, but i am glad that I watched Nouvelle Vague. It gave me an insight into a film classic and the different ways someone could create art.
Included in: Lin-Manuel Miranda’s monthly “#Hamildrops” project
Written by Albert Johnson / Osten Harvey / Christopher Wallace / Roger Troutman / Kejuan Muchita / Lin-Manuel Miranda/Al Yankovic
Songs: “Alexander Hamilton,” “Wait For It,” “The Schuyler Sisters,” “Yorktown (The World Turned Upside Down),” “Dear Theodosia,” “You’ll Be Back,” “The Room Where It Happens,” “Right Hand Man,” “Guns and Ships,” “Washington on Your Side,” “Helpless,” “Non-Stop,” “History Has Its Eyes on You,” and “My Shot.”
This is Weird Al’s Polka Opus, taking the Broadway sensation Hamilton and turning it into a polka. There was a video of Lin-Manuel Miranda listening to The Hamilton Polka for the first time, and he had tears of joy running down his face. Miranda is a huge fan of Weird Al and you could tell how honored he was with Al using his work as a polka.
Lyrics
How does a bastard, orphan, son of a whore and a Scotsman, dropped in the middle of a forgotten Spot in the Caribbean by providence, impoverished, in squalor Grow up to be a hero and a scholar?
The ten-dollar Founding Father without a father Got a lot farther by working a lot harder By being a lot smarter By being a self-starter
By fourteen, they placed him in charge of the trading charter Alexander Hamilton My name is Alexander Hamilton And there’s a million things I haven’t done
But just you wait, just you wait Wait for it Wait for it Wait for it Wait for it
I am the one thing in life I can control Wait for it Wait for it Wait for it Wait for it
I am inimitable I am an original And if there’s a reason I’m still alive When so many have died Then I’m willin’ to—
I’m willing to Work, work! Angelica! Work, work!
Eliza! And Peggy—
Look around, at how lucky we are to be alive right now! History is happening in Manhattan and we just happen to be In the greatest city In the greatest city in the world! The world turned upside down The world turned upside down The world turned upside down The world turned upside down
Yeah you’ll blow us all away Oceans rise, empires fall We have seen each other through it all And when push comes to shove
I will send a fully armed battalion to remind you of my love! Da da da dat da dat da da da da ya da Da da dat dat da da ya da!
No one else was in The room where it happened The room where it happened The room where it happened No one else was in
The room where it happened The room where it happened The room where it happened No one really knows how the game is played
The art of the trade How the sausage gets made We just assume that it happens But no one else is in the room where it happens
We are outgunned (What?) Outmanned (What?) Outnumbered Outplanned
We gotta make an all out stand Ayo, I’m gonna need a right-hand man Hamilton! Sir, he knows what to do in a trench Ingenuitive and fluent in French, I mean—
Hamilton! Sir, you’re gonna have to use him eventually What’s he gonna do on the bench? I mean— Hamilton! No one has more resilience Or matches my practical tactical brilliance—
Hamilton! You wanna fight for your land back? Hamilton! I need my right hand man back! Uh, get ya right hand man back
You know you gotta get ya right hand man back I mean you gotta put some thought Into the letter but the sooner the better To get your right hand man back!
It must be nice, it must be nice To have Washington on your side It must be nice, it must be nice To have Washington on your side Look back at the Bill of Rights (Which I wrote!)
The ink hasn’t dried It must be nice, it must be nice To have Washington on your side— Somebody has to stand up for the South! Somebody has to stand up to his mouth!
If there’s a fire you’re trying to douse You can’t put it out from inside the house I’m in the cabinet, I am complicit in Watching him grabbin’ at power and kiss it If Washington isn’t gon’ listen To disciplined dissidents, this is the difference: This kid is out
In New York you can be a new man How do you write like you’re running out of time? Write day and night like you’re running out of time? Ev’ry day you fight like you’re running out of time Like you’re running out of time
Are you running out of time? Let me tell you what I wish I’d known When I was young and dreamed of glory You have no control Who lives, who dies, who tells your story I know that we can win I know that greatness lies in you But remember from here on in History has its eyes on you (Whoa…)
And I am not throwing away my shot I am not throwing away my shot Hey yo, I’m just like my country I’m young, scrappy and hungry And I’m not throwing away my shot We gonna rise up, time to take a shot (Not throwing away my shot) We gonna rise up, time to take a shot (Not throwing away my shot) We’re gonna rise up, rise up! (It’s time to take a shot!) Rise up, rise up! And I am not throwing away my Not throwing away my shot There’s a million things I haven’t done But just you wait (Just wait) What’s your name, man? Alexander (Hamilton) Alexander (Hamilton) Alexander (Hamilton) Alexander
One of the goals for the summer is to finish the rewatch of the Agents of Shield, which I am preparing to start season six. However, I could use a couple of new shows to rewatch for the site, and I decided that Disney + would have yet another great show that would fit that need perfectly.
The Muppet Show.
There are few shows that will trigger the nostalgia for me like the Muppet Show. I remember being in 2nd grade and going home to watch the first Muppet Show. I did not know anyone except Kermit, but I grew to love the cast of characters.
This episode had a couple of classic songs: “MahNà Mah Nà” and “Simon Smith and His Amazing Dancing Bear”– both of which are personal favorites from the show. “MahNà Mah Nà” in particular is a song that will get stuck in my head very easily.
The Muppet Choir’s rendition of “Temptation” was a lot of fun too as we basically see Miss Piggy groping Kermit.
Juliet Prowse did a beautiful dance routine to “Solace” alongside six Green Gazelles.
Gonzo tried to eat a rubber tire, Statler and Waldorf were their cranky old selves, and Scooter’s dog Muppy tried to manipulate Kermit into changing the name of the show to the Muppy Show.
I have been wanting to see this doc for awhile now, actually since it was in the theater, but I haven’t gotten around to it. The AI Doc or How I Became an Apocaloptimist documentary did not make me feel better about the concept of AI.
As a teacher, I hate AI. Many of my colleagues use AI such as ChatGPT to help them with lesson plans or ideas to help present material. I do not have issues with others doing that to make their lives easier. My biggest problem is how AI can be used by students to simply write a paper without any of their own writing skills.
So I immediately came into this movie with a negative mindset about AI. After watching this, my concerns were not removed.
The premise of the film, according to Wikipedia, was “old through the perspective of filmmaker Daniel Roher as he prepares to become a father, the film investigates the existential threats and potential promises of artificial intelligence. Roher conducts interviews with leading experts in the field to understand the world his child will inherit, balancing anxiety with ‘apocaloptimism‘.” (Focus Features).
Roher presented a series of talking heads to speak to the idea of AI and what it could mean to the future of the world. To his credit, Roher does provide a fairly comprehensive opinions on both sides of the subject, providing thoughts from the pro and anti AI experts. There are those who believe AI will lead to an new utopia or that could lead to an apocalyptic end of the planet.
He brought in the CEOs of some of the major AI companies (except Mark Zuckerberg, who refused, and Elon Musk, who agreed to come and then got too busy). These CEOs sounded reasonable in the doc, but one wonders what that means.
The doc was a difficult watch. I am not sure how to feel about the info that it was presenting, though I did like the way Roher framed this, with his concerns over the upcoming birth of his first child and the idea of bringing a child into this current world. I do think this is a valuable doc to watch to make sure you have, at least, a surface level knowledge of where the world is heading.
It did not help me figure what to do about those AI generated research papers, though.
Today’s June Swoon 5 film is one that I am torn about. It was on Apple TV and it was entitled Eternity, starring Elizabeth Olson, Miles Teller and Callum Turner.
According to IMDB, “In an afterlife where souls have one week to decide where to spend eternity, Joan is faced with the impossible choice between the man she spent her life with and her first love, who died young and has waited decades for her to arrive.“
Elizabeth Olson played Joan, who spent 65 years married to Larry, played by Miles Teller. Larry died before Joan, as he choked on a pretzel. Joan died soon after from a terminal cancer. Joan was married once before to Luke, played by Callum Turner, who died during the Korean War.
When someone died, there is a waiting area where souls have to decide where their eternity is going to be spent. However, Luke had waited for Joan and now she had to make a decision between her first love and the man she spent her entrie life with.
There were several specific details that bothered me about this premise that stuck with me through the film. The entire idea of this afterlife bugged me. A soul has to pick an eternity and cannot change that choice. That means that you may never see family or friends unless they chose the same eternity. That was bothering me as the film moved on.
Another issue I have is the situation Joan is placed into by everyone around her. She had to choose between her two husbands and I think it is an unhappy premise of the story that was not something I liked.
All of these actors are great and they do excellent work, even though I am not a fan of the story. Da’Vine Joy Randolph played Anna, a soul who helps recently deceased souls with the transition. She was perhaps my favorite part of the film as she was wonderful once again.
The ending of the story, without any spoilers, was fair and helped to balance out my thoughts on the movie as a whole.
There were so many little details that bugged me about the film that it kept me from enjoying it fully. It was still a decent flick that I did not hate watching.
Topic: encourage listeners to embrace absurdity, let go of common idioms, and be playful.
Title track to Weird Al’s third studio album, Dare to Be Stupid is one of the greatest original songs Weird Al has ever written. The silliness involved is epic and his Devo style pastiche is brilliant.
Lyrics
Put down that chainsaw and listen to me It’s time for us to join in the fight It’s time to let your babies grow up to be cowboys It’s time to let the bedbugs bite
You better put all your eggs in one basket You better count your chickens before they hatch You better sell some wine before it’s time You better find yourself an itch to scratch
You better squeeze all the Charmin you can While Mr. Wipple’s not around Stick your head in the microwave and get yourself a tan
Talk with your mouth full Bite the hand that feeds you Bite off more than you chew What can you do? Dare to be stupid
Take some wooden nickels Look for Mr. Goodbar Get your mojo working now I’ll show you how You can dare to be stupid
You can turn the other cheek You can just give up the ship You can eat a bunch of sushi then forget to leave a tip
Dare to be stupid Come on and dare to be stupid It’s so easy to do Dare to be stupid We’re all waiting for you Let’s go
It’s time to make a mountain out of a molehill So can I have a volunteer? There’s no more time for crying over spilled milk Now it’s time for crying in your beer
Settle down, raise a family, join the PTA Buy some sensible shoes and a Chevrolet And party ’til you’re broke and they drive you away It’s okay, you can dare to be stupid
It’s like spitting on a fish It’s like barking up a tree It’s like I said you gotta buy one if you wanna get one free
Dare to be stupid (Yes) Why don’t you dare to be stupid? It’s so easy to do
Dare to be stupid We’re all waiting for you Dare to be stupid
Burn your candle at both ends Look a gift horse in the mouth Mashed potatoes can be your friends
You can be a coffee achiever You can sit around the house and watch “Leave It To Beaver” The future’s up to you So what you gonna do?
Dare to be stupid, dare to be stupid What did I say? Dare to be stupid
Tell me, what did I say? Dare to be stupid It’s alright Dare to be stupid We can be stupid all night
Dare to be stupid Come on, join the crowd Dare to be stupid Shout it out loud
Dare to be stupid I can’t hear you Dare to be stupid Okay, I can hear you now
Dare to be stupid Let’s go, dare to be stupid Dare to be stupid Dare to be stupid
Dare to be stupid Dare to be stupid Dare to be stupid Dare to be stupid Dare to be stupid
“Principia,”“The Devil Complex,” “Rise and Shine,” “Inside Voices,” “The Honeymoon,” “All Roads Lead…,” “Option Two,” “The One Who Will Save Us All,” “The Force of Gravity,” “The End”
I have set a goal that I wanted to get through the rewatch of Agents of Shield this summer break, and so I sat down to finish off season today with a binge of the last 10 episodes.
A wild season that started off in the future with the earth destroyed, supposedly by Quake, the Destroyer of worlds, revealed the answer to all of that. It wasn’t Daisy that would shake the world apart, it would be Graviton.
I really loved the use of this secondary villain who has the power to be more than secondary. Graviton could control gravity and he was always cool in the comics. In Agents of Shield, I liked how they took General Talbot and made him into a decent variation of Graviton.
Talbot was always a fringe character that was an ally/enemy for Shield during the shows entire run, and they did a great job of using the Gravitonium, which was a season one storyline, and circle it back into a major item in season five.
This season was set up to be the final season of the show, as you could tell with the ay they left Coulson behind in Tahiti to spend his last few days/weeks with May. I never believed that he would die from this when I first saw the show, expecting the whole time to see him survive again. It really set up some powerfully emotional moments surrounding Coulson.
Fitz’s death at the end was powerful, but I knew the solution to it this time through. Having Fitz in suspended animation somewhere out in space was a clever way to write in a death scene without losing the actor.
The team really felt splintered through the year, with them all suffering PTSD of some sort from their trip to the future. Por Yo Yo was the epitome of this as she was anguishing over what her future self had told her, and she did some desperate things in an effort to prevent that future.
The show did make some references to Thanos in the MCU timeline, but it did not have any dustings happen. I would have liked this to have happened to help illustrate it more. This is the start of where Agents of Shield separated from the MCU main timeline, I believe. The movies did not ever mention the show, but the show did mention things that happened in the movies at times.
On to season 6, which is a shorter season of 13 episodes.
I did not watch the TV show Downton Abbey, and I was never that interested in seeing the previous two movies. I ignored them each, and wound up watching them in June Swoons or other binges. Funny thing is that I then enjoyed the movie after watching it.
So when the Downton Abbey: The Grand Finale came out in 2025, it did not surprise me that I was not interested in seeing it, even though the previous movies were very enjoyable for me. I even think I can remember thinking that this finale would be a good film for the June Swoon.
Once again, the film was a fun and enjoyable time, even if I am not as familiar with these characters as someone who was a longtime viewer of the TV show.
According to IMDB, “When Mary finds herself in a public scandal and the family faces financial trouble, the household grapples with the threat of social disgrace. The Crawleys must embrace change with the next generation leading Downton Abbey into the future.”
The whole Mary scandal felt odd considering how many people in the world are divorced, but I understand there was a different time and perception at this.
My personal favorite character in the film was Noël Coward, played by Arty Froushan. Coward was a real life English playwright, composer, director, actor, and singer and Froushan played him wonderfully in a short role. I did not realize until after that Froushan played Buck on season two of Daredevil: Born Again, and he was awesome there too.
I am sure fans of the show would have been more emotionally connected than I was, but I did like most of this film. I am glad that I saw it in the June Swoon again.
Last week, in episode one of The Boroughs, I commented that I had hoped that Jack survived the attack of whatever that thing was. Sadly, as this week started, we learned that jack did not.
RIP Jack.
Sam, who discovered the creature “feeding” on Jack, became obsession (as one would) with trying to figure out what was going on. A trip to see Edward at the care facility gave Sam a clue… “The key is in the lights and the owls are in the wall.”
So Sam started tearing out the light fixtures in his house.
Jack’s death affected more than just Sam as we learned that Judy had been having an affair with Jack, and his death was causing her serious grief. Judy’s partner Art apparently knew about the affair but never confronted her in fear that she would leave him.
It led Art to a bizarre occurrence with a murder of crows. A huge murder of crows that circled the sky above him and like kamikazed themselves into the ground. Weird scene.
Renee pushed for an investigation when more quartz items turned up missing. Hank came back with a fake report from Albuquerque PD saying that they caught a guy with the missing items.
F- Hank.
Clearly, Hank has some kind of inside knowledge of what is going on in the Boroughs, and he is going out of his way to cover it up. He is easily the biggest piece of crap on this show.
Only Blaine Shaw comes close. Shaw showed up at Jack’s memorial and dropped some lies about how much Jack meant to him. It was sadly obvious how insincere he was being, but Shaw knows more than he is letting on too.
Wally got more bad news about his cancer, which has made its way into Wally’s liver. It left Wally searching for a miracle. Maybe Sam has found it.
The Boroughs has had two exceptional episodes filled with great actors and a captivating supernatural mystery. I know that there will be only one season as Netflix has cancelled season two of the show. I sure how the show did not leave off on a massive cliffhanger at the end of season one, because this is a show that I am fully engrossed in.
Style Pastiche: The Rugburns’ track “Dick’s Automotive.”
Genre: Hard-driving rock narrative
Length: 11 minutes and 23 sec.- longest song Weird Al ever officially released.
Topic: Albuquerque is the best place… and Weird Al hates sauerkraut.
This epic song is one of my absolute favorite songs. It is an absurdist piece of music with so much insanity squeezed into it. I saw Weird Al perform this life once and, during it, he came across the line where he said he “…lost his train of thought.” He then proceeded to restart the song to try and remember what he wanted to say. Absolutely hilarious. Of course, what he wanted to say was that “I HATE SAUERKRAUT!”
Lyrics
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy Living in a box under the stairs In the corner of the basement of the house Half a block down the street from Jerry’s Bait shop You know the place Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy
Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning My mother would make me a big ol’ bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast
Daww, big bowl of sauerkraut Every single morning It was driving me crazy
I said to my mom I said “Hey, mom, what’s up with all the sauerkraut?” And my dear, sweet mother She just looked at me like a cow looks at an oncoming train And she leaned right down next to me And she said “It’s good for you” And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut Until I was twenty six and a half years old
That’s when I swore that someday Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer And the towels are oh so fluffy Where the Shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel
Wacka wacka doo-doo yeah
Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn’t long at all before my dream came true Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy’s butt I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize That’s right, a first class one-way ticket to
Albuquerque Albuquerque
Oh yeah You know, I’d never been on a real airplane before And I gotta tell ya, it was really great Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women With excruciatingly severe body odor And the little kid in back of me kept throwin’ up the whole time The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died Except for me You know why?
‘Cause I had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position
Ah ha ha ha Ah ha ha Ah
So I crawled from the twisted, burnin’ wreckage I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days Draggin’ along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn Where the towels are oh so fluffy And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna It’s OK, they’re clean
Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C And I turned on the SpectraVision And I’m just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there’s a knock on the door
Well now, who could that be? I say “Who is it?” No answer “Who is it?” There’s no answer “Who is it?” They’re not sayin’ anything
So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected It’s some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril Oh man, I hate it when I’m right So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel And I’m like “Hey, you can’t have that” “That snorkel’s been just like a snorkel to me” And he’s like “Tough” And I’m like “Give it” And he’s like “Make me” And I’m like “‘Kay” So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation Yes indeed, you better believe it And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice And you know what it said? I’ll tell you what it said
It said “If you’d like to make a call, please hang up and try again” “If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator” “If you’d like to make a call, please hang up and try again” “If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator”
In Albuquerque Albuquerque
Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice But first, I decided to buy some donuts
So I got in my car and I drove over to the donuts shop And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter And he says “Yeah, what do ya want?” I said “You got any glazed donuts?” He said “No, we’re outta glazed donuts” I said “Well, you got any jelly donuts?” He said “No, we’re outta jelly donuts” I said “You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?” He said “No, we’re outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts” I said “You got any cinnamon rolls?” He said “No, we’re outta cinnamon rolls” I said “You got any apple fritters?” He said “No, we’re outta apple fritters” I said “You got any bear claws?” He said “Wait a minute, I’ll go check”
“No, we’re outta bear claws” I said “Well, in that case, in that case, what do you have?” He says “All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels” I said “OK, I’ll take that”
So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin’ me all over Oh man, they were just going nuts They were tearin’ me apart You know, I think it was just about that time That a little ditty started goin’ through my head I believe it went a little something like this
Doh Get ’em off me Get ’em off me Oh No, get ’em off, get ’em off Oh, oh God, oh God Oh, get ’em off me Oh, oh God Ah, aah, aah
I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face Wavin’ my arms all around and just runnin’, runnin’, runnin’ Like a constipated wiener dog And as luck would have it That’s exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams Her name was Zelda She was a calligraphy enthusiast With a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches I’ll never forget the very first thing she said to me She said “Hey, you’ve got weasels on your face”
That’s when I knew it was true love We were inseparable after that Aw, we ate together, we bathed together We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss The world was our burrito So we got married and we bought us a house And had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah
But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me She said “Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?” I said “Whoa, hold on now, baby” “I’m just not ready for that kind of a commitment” So we broke up and I never saw her again But that’s just the way things go
In Albuquerque Albuquerque
Anyway, things really started lookin’ up for me Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream That’s right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler I even made employee of the month after I put out that grease fire with my face Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that I was gettin’ a lot of attitude
Ok, like one time, I was out in the parking lot Tryin’ to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil When I see this guy Marty Tryin’ to carry a big ol’ sofa up the stairs all by himself So I, I say to him, I say “Hey, you want me to help you with that?” And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes “No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw”
So I did
And then he gets all indignant on me He’s like “Hey man, I was just being sarcastic” Well, that’s just great How was I supposed to know that? I’m not a mind reader for cryin’ out loud Besides, now he’s got a really cute nickname, Torso-Boy So what’s he complaining about?
Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote This guy comes up to me on the street And he tells he hasn’t had a bite in three days Well, I knew what he meant But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein And he’s yellin’ and screamin’ and bleeding all over And I’m like “Hey, come on, don’t you get it?” But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming You know, completely missing the irony of the whole situation Man, some people just can’t take a joke, you know?
Anyway, um, um, where was I? Kinda lost my train of thought
Uh, well, uh, OK Anyway I, I know it’s kinda been a roundabout way of saying it But I guess the whole point I’m tryin’ to make here is
I hate sauerkraut
That’s all I’m really tryin’ to say And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up And find yourself in an existential quandary Full of loathing and self-doubt And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that Somewhere out there in this crazy ol’ mixed-up universe of ours There’s still a little place called
New banner this week, getting rid of all those butterflies on the old one. Still very much fun making these, trying to hit upon important books from all of the publishers.
eBay sent me several Amazing Spider-Man books this week as I continue to try to complete my Vol. 2 collection. I have several more in the mail on its way, leaving me with three issues. With those three exceptions, I’ll have issue #195-today of Amazing Spider-Man soon. Too cool.
Comic of the Week
Rom #1 (Skybound)
I may be cheating this week as the Comic of the Week actually came out inside the MASK blind bags from a couple of weeks ago, but I just received my copy from eBay today and I loved it.
I was an old fan of Rom during the Marvel years and I was really excited to hear that Rom was joining the Energon Universe at Skybound. I wasn’t sure if this was just a Rom cover of the MASK#1 or if it were its own book, but when I scanned through the book after opening the packaging, I could tell that this was its own story. I loved that too. Rom has some adjustments from Robert Kirkman which work well and the new character “Carpet” is a fascinating addition. I can’t wait to see the mystery of Rom unfold moving forward in Void Rivals starting in issue #32.
Books This Week:
Land of Never #1. Written by Steve Orlando with art and cover A art by Miguel Mora. Variant cover B art was done by Sebastian Piriz. Jim Hoke’s daughter Wendy has been missing for years. Hoke believed that he saw a hulking figure take Wendy out of the window, but no one would believe him. In fact, Hoke is a suspect in her kidnapping. We’ve got some Peter Pan stuff going on here and I am here for it.
Something is Killing the Children #48. “All Her Monsters” Part Eight. Written by James Tynion IV with art and cover art by Werther Dell’Edera. We continue into the past with young Erica Slaughter trying to understand the hardest part of the House of Slaughter, killing off the witnesses, even if they happen to be children. Is the tragedy stoppable?
Amazing Spider-Man #31. Written by Joe Kelly with art by Patrick Gleason. Cover art was done by Patrick Gleason & Dean White. We get the TALK here. How can it be possible that Aunt May has an actual child with Ben Parker? This story goes back and forth between the story of May and her unknown birth and Spidey battling Vulture and Tombstone. This is one of the biggest, most major retcons to Spider-Man in the last few years. He has an actual cousin. How will this affect Peter Parker?
Uncanny X-Men #30. “Mars Needs Mutants” Written by Gail Simone with art by Rogê Antonio. Cover art was done by Luciano Vecchio & Matthew Wilson. More wild mutant action from the pen of Gail Simone. This has been one of the most consistent X-Men books of all and I have a huge respect for Gail.
Nightwing #139. “The Waterfront” Written by Dan Watters with pencils by Denys Cowan. Cover art was done by Jorge Fornes. Nightwing is still struggling to overcome his guilt over the highway incident from a few issues ago. With the new highway going through Bludhaven, a bunch of bodies show up in the water. Nightwing found a way to investigate these deaths which leads him to a church. This was a great issue and Nightwing is struggling with himself.
Of The Earth #2. “Chapter 2: Red Zone.” Written by Andrew Ehrich & Chris Condon with art and cover art by Charlie Adlard (Gold Medalist). The oil company sent a representative to investigate the strange things at the Winters’ Ranch. Chris Condon has become one of my favorite writers in comics today. He knows how to tell a story and build that mysteriousness and tension.
X-Men United #4. “Ancient Orc Oaken Arclight” Written by Eve L. Ewing with art by Tiago Palma. Cover art was done by Stefano Caselli & Federico Blee. I also picked up Cover C with art by Kris Anka (Bronze Medalist). The X-Men are doing a mysterious campaign… much like D & D, only in the X-Men style, they are actually doing it. Deathdream is in the group in the campaign and I do love that character.
Dog Tag #2. Written by Mark Russell with pencils by PJ Holden. Cover art was done by PJ Holden & JP Jordan. We follow Tom into his new assignment… leading a troop of survivors of D-Day into Europe on missions. The mission, go into the town St. Lo to see if the Germans have deserted it. Once they, they have to face their own moral thoughts. Dog Tag has been great the first two issue and another awesome Mad Cave book.
If Destruction Be Our Lot #2. Written by Matthew & Mark Elijah with art by Andy McDonald. Cover art was done by Andy McDonald & Francesco Segala. The Lincoln robot is out in trouble. After seeing a “human” at the end of last issue, the belief is that he is malfunctioning and requires a reboot. Maintenance is a horror show and ABE is on the run. The creativity is off the charts with this Image book.
The Trillion Dollar Kid #1. “Who are the Unbelievables? Part 1 of 4” Written by Geoff Johns & Peter J. Tomasi with art by Stefano Simeone. I grabbed cover B and its art was done by Ivan Reis, Danny Miki & Brad Anderson. The new book from Ghost Machine debuted this week, tying together the other books from this title including Hornsby & Halo and The Rocketfellers. Tommy Townsend is on quest to find thee other “Unbelievable” and it starts in this issue. Crossover alert!
Absolute Green Arrow #2. “The Longbow Killer” Part 2. Written by Pornsak Pichetshote with art by Rafael Albuquerque. Cover art was done by Rafael Albuquerque & Marcelo Maiolo. The wildness of the Absolute Green Arrow is huge. I loved this series, with how dark and mysterious it is. I am clearly not sure what is going on or who is doing this, and I love that.
Absolute Flash #16. “Gorilla City Part 1 of 2” Written by Jeff Lemire and art by Haining. Variant cover B art was done by Taurin Clarke. Wally and Grodd are reunited. Not sure that is a good thing. This Absolute Flash is excellent every issue. It is one of my favorite Absolute books every week. Good characters and fun story.
Absolute Batman #21. “The Straw Man Part 3” Written by Scott Snyder and art by Nick Dragotta. Cover art was done by Nick Dragotta & Frank Martin. We get the Absolute version of Two-Face this issue. Two Face is seen with shadowy figures from Bruce’s friends, who all seem to be villains. Oh, and there is the Joker (I think it was Joker..)
G.I. Joe #23. Written by Joshua Williamson with art by Andrea Milana. Variant cover G (B&W) was done by Tom Reilly. The Baroness and Destro have to team up and we get the secret origin of Risk.
Redcoat #18. Creators are Geoff Johns & Bryan Hitch. Variant Cover B art is done by Leonardo Colapietro. The truth comes out for Simon Pure. He tells his wife his own personal history and it might have cost him his family. Meanwhile, men of George Washington have captured Benedict Arnold. This is a dark moment for Simon and feels like the “Empire Strikes Back” part of the story. Redcoat is an outstanding book.
Wonder Man #4. “The-Four-Oh-Five” Written by Gerry Duggan and art by Laura Braga. Cover art was done by Luciano Vecchio. So…umm… Simon Williams and Patsy Walker take their relationship to new heights. Yes, they get naked and have sex… while flying in the air among the clouds. It was not what I expected to see in this book.
Imperial Guardians #4. Written by Dan Abnett with pencils by Eduardo Pansica. Cover art was done by Sean Izaakse & Nolan Woodard. The gimmick of having the members of the team addressing the world via camera, much like a reality show (like Big Brother). This is a great way to inject humor into the story as well as allowing the readers to know info that the rest of the cast does not. It is a clever addition to this comic.
The Punisher #5. “Under his Skin” Written by Benjamin Percy with art by Jose Luis Soares & Sergio Davila. Big battle issue as Frank squares off with Jigsaw. The brutality of their fight is what carries this issue through as much of the art is just panels of the two of them engaging in violence. The new Punisher book has been solid since its return to Marvel.
Drawing Blood #11. Written, drawn and cover art by Kevin Eastman. I loved this issue. Of course, I barely remember Drawing Blood, a 12-issue series, that debuted in April 2024. Issue #10 came out in January of 2026 while this issue came out in June. The length between these issues are really making it tough to maintain any real momentum for the book. It takes most of the first half of the story to refresh what everything that has happened. Only one more issue to go. I wonder what month it is scheduled to be released in?
Excommunicated #2. Written by Jeremy Robinson with art by Tiago Palma. Cover art was done by Flaviano. I also picked up the Unholy Body Bag (polybag) variant cover which was done by Tyler Crook. Former nun Josephine has to team up with the demon Edimmu to avoid an attack. That decision does not make things better for Josephine, as Vatican officials are on the case. Excommunicated, from Vault Comics, has been a welcomed addition to the horror comics that are all across the landscape of comics these days.
War Wolf #6. Written by Steve Orlando and art by Marco Perugini. Cover art was done by David Talaski. This issue gives us the true story of Bruin and how he stopped the original invasion of the Oorts. Apparently, the Bear is nowhere near as much of a hero as he had presented himself as. Can The Bear step up for earth for real this time? Who knows, but War Wolf has been a solid book from Mad Cave.
Kill Switch #2. Written by Sophia Bank & Don Handfield with illustration by Gabriel Ibarra. Cover art was done by Erwin Arroza & Gabriel Ibarra. It sure seems that everybody can figure out that Atlas is not Detective Kate Sloan. That included Agent Perez who apparently the real Kate Sloan. Mind f*cks galore in this Massive Comics series.
Other books this week: Deadly hands of K’un-Lun #5, Star Trek: The Last Starship #8, Justice League: Dream Girls: A DC Pride Event #1, The Beauty #6, Inglorious X-Force #6, Sorcerer Supreme #7, Absolute Green Lantern #15, and Supergirl: Survive #1
Quick Hits: I am a sucker for blind bags. I picked up the Marvel 616 blind bag this week, which included a black and white version of Doomquest #1 and a facsimile of Iron Man #149. There was also a Doom paper mask inside, which was fun to wear and yell “KNEEL BEFORE DOOM!” Not that I actually did that…. um… moving on. Hello Darkness #22 featured a new ongoing story from Ryan North of FF and Flash writing. I also grabbed a variant virgin cover that was the Silver medalist this week. Odin #2 came out this week and is just as wild and confusing as last time. You really have to give it James Tynion IV with forcing people to really check in with his writing. Big anniversary issue came out this week with Mad #600 with a great cover from EYG Hall of Famer Sergio Aragones. More deaths happening in Dead Teenagers #4 from Oni Press. And even more deaths in Smile: For the Camera #4. Tough time to be a model in that book. Two other Spider-Man books, besides Amazing, came out this week with Spider-Man: Long Way Home #1 where he faces off with Hulk and the Punisher for the Cosmic Cube, and Spider-Man: Brand New Day #2 where Spidey has to work alongside the Punisher. Paul Chadwick’s Concrete: Stars Over Sand #1 came out from Dark Horse this week, bringing Concrete back from Chadwick’s original series from the 1980s. We get the next What If book with What If…? The Mighty Thor #1 where Thor got the Venom symbiote in Secret Wars instead of Spidey. I like the fact that these What If books recently have Uatu back watching things. He was missed in the What If books like the Disney ones where the Watcher was not involved. What If is synonymous with the Watcher. Megalith: The Olympus Saga #2 gives us more giant megalith action from Bad Idea. When does a kidnapping become too much of a problem? When it is a kid? End of Life #5 sees h0w that plays out. A new one shot The Phantom vs. The Red Dragons #1 dropped this week and actually has a continuing story into an0ther one shot next month. I guess they were allergic to issue #2. The final issue of Magik & Colossus #5 came out and wrapped up this story for the Rasputin siblings. Then Bloodland #4 from Ignition Press has some head chopping goodness.
EYG- Embrace Your Geekness 