Tag Archives: weird-al

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #6

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#6

The Hamilton Polka

Title: “The Hamilton Polka”

Released: 2018

Genre: Polka

Included in: Lin-Manuel Miranda’s monthly “#Hamildrops” project

Written by Albert Johnson / Osten Harvey / Christopher Wallace / Roger Troutman / Kejuan Muchita / Lin-Manuel Miranda/Al Yankovic

Songs: “Alexander Hamilton,” “Wait For It,” “The Schuyler Sisters,” “Yorktown (The World Turned Upside Down),” “Dear Theodosia,” “You’ll Be Back,” “The Room Where It Happens,” “Right Hand Man,” “Guns and Ships,” “Washington on Your Side,” “Helpless,” “Non-Stop,” “History Has Its Eyes on You,” and “My Shot.”

This is Weird Al’s Polka Opus, taking the Broadway sensation Hamilton and turning it into a polka. There was a video of Lin-Manuel Miranda listening to The Hamilton Polka for the first time, and he had tears of joy running down his face. Miranda is a huge fan of Weird Al and you could tell how honored he was with Al using his work as a polka.

Lyrics

How does a bastard, orphan, son of a whore and a
Scotsman, dropped in the middle of a forgotten
Spot in the Caribbean by providence, impoverished, in squalor
Grow up to be a hero and a scholar?

The ten-dollar Founding Father without a father
Got a lot farther by working a lot harder
By being a lot smarter
By being a self-starter

By fourteen, they placed him in charge of the trading charter
Alexander Hamilton
My name is Alexander Hamilton
And there’s a million things I haven’t done

But just you wait, just you wait
Wait for it
Wait for it
Wait for it
Wait for it

I am the one thing in life I can control
Wait for it
Wait for it
Wait for it
Wait for it

I am inimitable
I am an original
And if there’s a reason I’m still alive
When so many have died
Then I’m willin’ to—

I’m willing to
Work, work!
Angelica!
Work, work!

Eliza!
And Peggy—

Look around, at how lucky we are to be alive right now!
History is happening in Manhattan and we just happen to be
In the greatest city
In the greatest city in the world!
The world turned upside down
The world turned upside down
The world turned upside down
The world turned upside down

Yeah you’ll blow us all away
Oceans rise, empires fall
We have seen each other through it all
And when push comes to shove

I will send a fully armed battalion to remind you of my love!
Da da da dat da dat da da da da ya da
Da da dat dat da da ya da!

No one else was in
The room where it happened
The room where it happened
The room where it happened
No one else was in

The room where it happened
The room where it happened
The room where it happened
No one really knows how the game is played

The art of the trade
How the sausage gets made
We just assume that it happens
But no one else is in the room where it happens

We are outgunned (What?)
Outmanned (What?)
Outnumbered
Outplanned

We gotta make an all out stand
Ayo, I’m gonna need a right-hand man
Hamilton!
Sir, he knows what to do in a trench
Ingenuitive and fluent in French, I mean—

Hamilton!
Sir, you’re gonna have to use him eventually
What’s he gonna do on the bench? I mean—
Hamilton!
No one has more resilience
Or matches my practical tactical brilliance—

Hamilton!
You wanna fight for your land back?
Hamilton!
I need my right hand man back!
Uh, get ya right hand man back

You know you gotta get ya right hand man back
I mean you gotta put some thought
Into the letter but the sooner the better
To get your right hand man back!

It must be nice, it must be nice
To have Washington on your side
It must be nice, it must be nice
To have Washington on your side
Look back at the Bill of Rights (Which I wrote!)

The ink hasn’t dried
It must be nice, it must be nice
To have Washington on your side—
Somebody has to stand up for the South!
Somebody has to stand up to his mouth!

If there’s a fire you’re trying to douse
You can’t put it out from inside the house
I’m in the cabinet, I am complicit in
Watching him grabbin’ at power and kiss it
If Washington isn’t gon’ listen
To disciplined dissidents, this is the difference:
This kid is out

In New York you can be a new man
How do you write like you’re running out of time?
Write day and night like you’re running out of time?
Ev’ry day you fight like you’re running out of time
Like you’re running out of time

Are you running out of time?
Let me tell you what I wish I’d known
When I was young and dreamed of glory
You have no control
Who lives, who dies, who tells your story
I know that we can win
I know that greatness lies in you
But remember from here on in
History has its eyes on you (Whoa…)

And I am not throwing away my shot
I am not throwing away my shot
Hey yo, I’m just like my country
I’m young, scrappy and hungry
And I’m not throwing away my shot
We gonna rise up, time to take a shot (Not throwing away my shot)
We gonna rise up, time to take a shot (Not throwing away my shot)
We’re gonna rise up, rise up! (It’s time to take a shot!)
Rise up, rise up!
And I am not throwing away my
Not throwing away my shot
There’s a million things I haven’t done
But just you wait (Just wait)
What’s your name, man?
Alexander (Hamilton)
Alexander (Hamilton)
Alexander (Hamilton)
Alexander

Source: Musixmatch

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #7

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#7

Dare to Be Stupid

Title: “Dare to Be Stupid”

Album: Dare to Be Stupid

Release: 1985

Written: Al Yankovic

Style Pastiche: Devo

Genre: New Wave/Comedy

Topic: encourage listeners to embrace absurdity, let go of common idioms, and be playful.

Title track to Weird Al’s third studio album, Dare to Be Stupid is one of the greatest original songs Weird Al has ever written. The silliness involved is epic and his Devo style pastiche is brilliant.

Lyrics

Put down that chainsaw and listen to me
It’s time for us to join in the fight
It’s time to let your babies grow up to be cowboys
It’s time to let the bedbugs bite

You better put all your eggs in one basket
You better count your chickens before they hatch
You better sell some wine before it’s time
You better find yourself an itch to scratch

You better squeeze all the Charmin you can
While Mr. Wipple’s not around
Stick your head in the microwave and get yourself a tan

Talk with your mouth full
Bite the hand that feeds you
Bite off more than you chew
What can you do?
Dare to be stupid

Take some wooden nickels
Look for Mr. Goodbar
Get your mojo working now
I’ll show you how
You can dare to be stupid

You can turn the other cheek
You can just give up the ship
You can eat a bunch of sushi then forget to leave a tip

Dare to be stupid
Come on and dare to be stupid
It’s so easy to do
Dare to be stupid
We’re all waiting for you
Let’s go

It’s time to make a mountain out of a molehill
So can I have a volunteer?
There’s no more time for crying over spilled milk
Now it’s time for crying in your beer

Settle down, raise a family, join the PTA
Buy some sensible shoes and a Chevrolet
And party ’til you’re broke and they drive you away
It’s okay, you can dare to be stupid

It’s like spitting on a fish
It’s like barking up a tree
It’s like I said you gotta buy one if you wanna get one free

Dare to be stupid
(Yes)
Why don’t you dare to be stupid?
It’s so easy to do

Dare to be stupid
We’re all waiting for you
Dare to be stupid

Burn your candle at both ends
Look a gift horse in the mouth
Mashed potatoes can be your friends

You can be a coffee achiever
You can sit around the house and watch “Leave It To Beaver”
The future’s up to you
So what you gonna do?

Dare to be stupid, dare to be stupid
What did I say?
Dare to be stupid

Tell me, what did I say?
Dare to be stupid
It’s alright
Dare to be stupid
We can be stupid all night

Dare to be stupid
Come on, join the crowd
Dare to be stupid
Shout it out loud

Dare to be stupid
I can’t hear you
Dare to be stupid
Okay, I can hear you now

Dare to be stupid
Let’s go, dare to be stupid
Dare to be stupid
Dare to be stupid

Dare to be stupid
Dare to be stupid
Dare to be stupid
Dare to be stupid
Dare to be stupid

Source: Musixmatch

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #9

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#9

Skipper Dan

Title: “Skipper Dan”

Album: Alpocalypse

Released: 2009

Written: Al Yankovic

Style Pastiche: Weezer

Genre: Pop/Rock

Topic: classically trained, aspiring actor who finds himself stuck working as a Jungle Cruise tour guide at Disneyland, reciting the ride’s notoriously corny, dated jokes -Wikipedia

This song’s path to the top 10 is a strange one. When I first heard this song, I thought it was kind of boring and I was not a fan. Somehow, it started growing on me. I’m not sure what it was that brought me to the point of having it in the Top 10 Weird A songs of all time, but I love it now. The story of the song is probably the key, and it is one of the least “humorous” songs of Al’s oeuvre. It is more of a tragic song than a funny one and, because of that, Skipper Dan stands out among Al’s originals.

Lyrics

I starred in every high school play
Blew every drama teacher away
I graduated first in my class at Juilliard
Took every acting workshop I could
And I dreamed of Hollywood
While I read my Uta Hagen and studied the Bard

Hit the boards and paid my dues
And got phenomenal rave reviews
I knew the world was gonna love me, without a doubt
I was sure that Tarantino would be callin’ me on the phone
Annie Leibovitz would shoot me for Rolling Stone
But the years have come and gone
And I’m sorry to say that’s not the way that it’s all worked out

I’m a tour guide on the Jungle Cruise ride
Skipper Dan is the name
And I’m doin’ 34 shows every day
And every time it’s the same
Look at those hippos, they’re wigglin’ their ears
Just like they’ve done for the last 50 years
Now I’m laughin’ at my own jokes but I’m cryin’ inside
Cause I’m workin’ on the Jungle Cruise ride

Oh, the critics, they used to say
I was the new Olivier
Thought I’d be the toast of Sundance or maybe Cannes
Aw, but don’t bother tryin’ to IMDB me
The only place you might possibly see me
Is ridin’ my little boat around Adventureland
It ain’t exactly what I planned

But I’m a tour guide on the Jungle Cruise ride
Skipper Dan is the name
And I’m doin 34 shows every day
And every time it’s the same
I would’ve killed if I’d been in “Speed The Plow”
But what’s the difference, that’s all behind me now
Cause I’m payin’ the rent and I’m swallowin my pride
And I’m workin’ on the Jungle Cruise ride

I should be there on Broadway
Knockin’ ’em dead in “12 Angry Men”
But instead I’m here tellin’ these lame jokes
Again and again and again and again and again and again and again

Bengal Tigers can jump over 20 feet!
That’s an African bull elephant
And there it is, the backside of water!
What have I done with my life?!

I should a listened when my grandfather said
“Why don’t you major in business instead?”
Now my hopes have all vanished and my dreams have all died
And I’ll probably work forever as a tour guide on the Jungle Cruise ride
Skipper Dan is the name
And I’m doin’ 34 shows every day
And every time it’s the same
Look at those hippos, they’re wigglin their ears
Somebody shoot me cause I’m bored to tears
Always said I’d be famous… I guess that I lied
Cause I’m workin’ on the Jungle Cruise ride
I’m still workin’ on the Jungle Cruise ride

Source: Musixmatch

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #10

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#10

The Saga Begins

Title: “The Saga Begins”

Album: Running With Scissors

Released: 1999

Parody: “American Pie” by Don McLean

Written: Don McLean/Al Yankovic

Topic: Star Wars: Episode 1-The Phantom Menace

Genre: Pop/Rock

And into the Top 10 we go…

Weird Al wrote this song before seeing any official script of the Phantom Menace because he was not allowed to see it. So he pieced it together with rumors and web sites. When he was able to attend a pre-screening, he was shocked to see that the song was mostly accurate, requiring only small rewriting.

Lyrics

A long, long time ago
In a galaxy far away
Naboo was under an attack
And I thought me and Qui-Gon Jinn
Could talk the federation in
To maybe cutting them a little slack

But their response, it didn’t thrill us
They locked the doors and tried to kill us
We escaped from that gas
Then met Jar-Jar and Boss Nass
We took a bongo from the scene
And we went to Theed to see the Queen
We all wound up on Tatooine
That’s where we found this boy

Oh my, my this here Anakin guy
Maybe Vader someday later, now he’s just a small fry
He left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin’, “Soon I’m gonna be a Jedi”
Soon I’m gonna be a Jedi

Did you know this junkyard slave
Isn’t even old enough to shave
But he can use the Force, they say
Ahh, do you see him hitting on the queen
Though he’s just nine and she’s 14
Yeah, he’s probably gonna marry her someday

Well, I know he built C-3PO
And I’ve heard how fast his pod can go
And we were broke, it’s true
So we made a wager or two
He was a pre-pubescent flyin’ ace
And the minute Jabba started off that race
Well, I knew who would win first place
Oh yes, it was our boy

We started singin’
My, my this here Anakin guy
Maybe Vader someday later, now he’s just a small fry
And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin’, “Soon I’m gonna be a Jedi”
Soon I’m gonna be a Jedi

Now we finally got to Coruscant
The Jedi Council we knew would want
To see how good the boy could be
So we took him there and we told the tale
How his midichlorians were off the scale
And he might fulfill that prophecy

Oh, the Council was impressed, of course
Could he bring balance, to the Force?
They interviewed the kid
All training they forbid
Because Yoda sensed in him much fear
And Qui-Gon said, “Now listen here”
Just stick it in your pointy ear
I still will teach this boy

He was singin’
My, my this here Anakin guy
Maybe Vader someday later, now he’s just a small fry
And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin’, “Soon I’m gonna be a Jedi”
Soon I’m gonna be a Jedi

We caught a ride back to Naboo
‘Cause Queen Amidala wanted to
I frankly would’ve liked to stay
We all fought in that epic war
And it wasn’t long at all before
Little Hotshot flew his plane and saved the day

And in the end some Gunguns died
Some ships blew up and some pilots fried
A lot of folks were croakin’
The battle droids were broken
And the Jedi I admire most
Met up with Darth Maul and now he’s toast
Well, I’m still here, and he’s a ghost
I guess I’ll train this boy

And I was singin’
My, my this here Anakin guy
Maybe Vader someday later, now he’s just a small fry
And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin’, “Soon I’m gonna be a Jedi”
Soon I’m gonna be a Jedi

We were singin’
My, my this here Anakin guy
Maybe Vader someday later, now he’s just a small fry
And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin’, “Soon I’m gonna be a Jedi”

Source: Musixmatch

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #11

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#11

First World Problems

Title: “First World Problems”

Album: Mandatory Fun

Released: 2014

Written: Al Yankovic

Style Pastiche: The Pixies

Topic: The privilege of current world items

Lyrics

My maid is cleaning the bathroom, so I can’t take a shower
When I do, the water starts getting cold after an hour
I couldn’t order off the breakfast menu, cause I slept in till two
Then I filled up on bread, didn’t leave any room for tiramisu
Oh no, there’s a pixel out in the corner of my laptop screen
I don’t have any bills in my wallet small enough for the vending machine
Some idiot just called me up on the phone, what!? Don’t they know how to text? OMG!
I got

First world, first world problems
(First world problems)
First world, first world problems
(First world problems)
First world, first world problems

I bought too many groceries for my refrigerator
Forgot my gardener’s name, I’ll have to ask him later
Tried to fast forward commercials, can’t, I’m watching live T.V
I’m pretty sure the cookies in this airport lounge ain’t gluten free
My barista didn’t even bother to make a design in the foam on the top of my vanilla latte

First world, first world problems
(First world problems)
First world, first world problems
(First world problems)
First world, first world problems

Can’t remember which car I drove to the mall
My Sonicare won’t recharge, now I gotta brush my teeth like a neanderathal
The thread count on these cotton sheets has got me itching
My house is so big, I can’t get WiFi in the kitchen
Uh, I had to buy something I didn’t even need just
So I could qualify for free shipping on Amazon

First world, first world problems
(First world problems)
First world, first world problems
(First world problems)
First world, first world problems
(First world problems)

First world, first world problems
(First world problems)
First world, first world problems
(First world problems)
First world, first world problems

Source: LyricFind

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #12

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#12

Hardware Store

Title: “Hardware Store”

Album: Poodle Hat

Released: 2003

Written: Al Yankovic

Genre: Speed-metal comedy

Style: Originally intended as a pastiche of The Presidents of the United States

Topic: The excitement of a new Hardware Store opening

Hardware Store is one of Weird Al’s originals that everyone is incredibly impressed by because it features one of the fastest rap sections imaginable. It was something that, when recorded, nearly caused Al to go unconscious. He has never performed this live because of the near impossibility of the riff.

Lyrics

Nothin’ ever (ever) happens in this town
Feelin’ low down (down), not a lot to do around here
I thought that I would go right out of my mind
Until a friend told me the news
He said, “Hey, you know that vacant lot
Right beside the gas station? Well, somebody bought it
And on that spot they’re gonna build a shop
Where we can go buy bolts and screws”

Since then I’ve been walking on air (air)
I can barely brush my teeth or comb my hair
‘Cause I’m so excited and I really don’t care
I’ve been waiting since last June
For this day to finally arrive
I’m so happy (happy) now just to be alive
‘Cause any minute now I’m gonna be inside
Well, I hope they open soon

I can’t wait, no, I can’t wait (oh, when)
When are they gonna open up that door?
I’m goin’ (yes, I’m) goin’, I’m a-goin’ to the
Goin’ to the (hard) ware, I’m goin’, really goin’ to the
Goin’ (hard), I’m goin’ to the (hard), oh, yes, I’m goin’ to the
Hardware store

In my sleeping bag I camped out overnight
Right in front of the store, then as soon as it was light out
I pressed my nose right up against the glass
You know, I had to be first in line
Gonna get me a flashlight and a broom
Want a pair of pliers for every single room of my house
See those hacksaws? Very, very soon
One of them will be all mine

Guys with nametags walking down the aisles
Rows of garden hoses that go on for miles and miles
Brand new socket wrenches in a plethora of styles
All arranged alphabetically
And they’re doing a promotional stunt
There’s a great big purple sign out front
That says every 27th customer
Will get a ball peen hammer free

I can’t wait, no, I can’t wait (oh, when)
When are they gonna open up that door?
I’m goin’ (yes, I’m) goin’, I’m a-goin’ to the
Goin’ to the (hard) ware, I’m goin’, really goin’ to the
Goin’ (hard), I’m goin’ to the (hard), oh, yes, I’m goin’ to the
Hardware store
I’m goin’ (yes, I’m) goin’, I’m a-goin’ to the
Goin’ to the (hard) ware, I’m goin’, really goin’ to the
Goin’ (hard), I’m goin’ to the (hard), oh, yes, I’m goin’ to the
Hardware store

They’ve got allen wrenches, gerbil feeders, toilet seats, electric heaters
Trash compactors, juice extractor, shower rods, and water meters
Walkie-talkies, copper wires safety goggles, radial tires
BB pellets, rubber mallets, fans and dehumidifiers
Picture hangers, paper cutters, waffle irons, window shutters
Paint removers, window louvres, masking tape and plastic gutters
Kitchen faucets, folding tables, weather stripping, jumper cables
Hooks and tackle, grout and spackle, power foggers, spoons and ladles

Pesticides for fumigation, high-performance lubrication
Metal roofing, water proofing, multi-purpose insulation
Air compressors, brass connectors, wrecking chisels, smoke detectors
Tire guages, hamster cages, thermostats, and bug deflectors
Trailer hitch demagnetizers, automatic circumcisers
Tennis rackets, angle brackets, Duracells and Energizers
Soffit panels, circuit brakers, vacuum cleaners, coffee makers
Calculators, generators, matching salt and pepper shakers

I can’t wait, no, I can’t wait (oh, when)
When are they gonna open the door?
I’m goin’ (yes, I’m) goin’, I’m a-goin’ to the
Goin’ to the (hard) ware, I’m goin’, really goin’ to the
Goin’ (hard), I’m goin’ to the (hard), oh, yes, I’m goin’ to the
Hardware store

I’m goin’ (yes, I’m) goin’, I’m a-goin’ to the
Goin’ to the (hard) ware, I’m goin’, really goin’ to the
Goin’ (hard), I’m goin’ to the (hard), oh, yes, I’m goin’ to the
Hardware store
I’m goin’ (yes, I’m) goin’, I’m a-goin’ to the
Goin’ to the (hard) ware, I’m goin’, really goin’ to the
Goin’ (hard), I’m goin’ to the (hard), oh, yes, I’m goin’ to the
Hardware store

Source: Musixmatch

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #14

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#14

The Night Santa Went Crazy

Title: “The Night Santa Went Crazy”

Album: Bad Hair Day

Released: 1996

Style Pastiche: “Black Gold” by Soul Asylum

Written: Al Yankovic

Genre: Christmas Music

Topic: Santa snaps and goes on a North Pole murder spree

I love this song. The idea of a disgruntled Santa flipping out is great. There is a really funny “Extra Gory Version” that I heard for the first time on Dr. Demento Show.

Lyrics

Down in the workshop all the elves were makin’ toys
For the good gentile girls and the good gentile boys
When the boss busted in, nearly scared ’em half to death
Had a rifle in his hands and cheap whiskey on his breath
From his beard to his boots he was covered with ammo
Like a big fat drunk disgruntled Yuletide Rambo
And he smiled as he said with a twinkle in his eye
“Merry Christmas to all, now you’re all gonna die”

The night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nick went insane
Realized he’d been gettin’ a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain

Well, the workshop is gone now, he decided to bomb it
Everywhere you’ll find pieces of Cupid and Comet
And he tied up his helpers and he held the elves hostage
And he ground up poor Rudolph into reindeer sausage
He got Dancer and Prancer with an old German Luger
And he slashed up Dasher just like Freddy Krueger
And he picked up a flamethrower and he barbequed Blitzen
And he took a big bite and said, “It tastes just like chicken”

The night Santa went crazy
The night Kris Kringle went nuts
Now you can’t hardly walk around the North Pole
Without steppin’ in reindeer guts

There’s the National Guard and the FBI
There’s a van from the Eyewitness News
And helicopters circlin’ ’round in the sky
And the bullets are flyin’, the body count’s risin’
And everyone’s dyin’ to know, oh Santa, why?
My my my my my my
You used to be such a jolly guy

Yes, Virginia, now Santa’s doing time
In a Federal prison for his infamous crime
Hey little friend now, don’t you cry no more tears
He’ll be out with good behavior in seven hundred more years
But now Vixen’s in therapy and Donner’s still nervous
And the elves all got jobs working for the Postal Service
And they say Mrs. Clause, she’s on the phone every night
With her lawyer negotiating the movie rights

They’re talkin’ bout, the night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nicholas flipped
Broke his back for some milk and cookies
Sounds to me like he was tired of gettin’ gypped

Whoa oh, the night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nick went insane
Realized he’d gettin’ a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain
Whoa oh, something finally must have snapped in his brain
Tell ya, something finally must have snapped in his brain

Source: LyricFind

Lyrics from Extra Gory version

Yes Virginia, Now Santa is dead Some guy
From the swat team blew a hole through his head
Yes little friend now, that’s his brains on the floor,
I guess they wont have the fat guy kicking around anymore
But now there’s no more presents for children’s enjoyment
And the Elves have to wait in the line and file for unemployment
And they say Mrs. Clause, she’s on the phone every night
With her lawyer negotiating the movie rights

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #15

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#15

Polkamania

Title: “Polkamania”

Album: None; released online

Released: 2024

Genre: Polka/Comedy

Written:  Adele Laurie Blue Adkins / Al Yankovic / Ariana Grande / Attticus Matthew Ross / Austin J. Owens / Belcalis Almanzar / Billie Eilish O’Connell / Charles K. Wilson / Charles Michael Anderson / Daniel Nigro / Devon Christopher Gallaspy / Edward Christopher Sheeran / Er

Songs: “Bad Guy,” “Hello,” “Flowers,” “We Don’t Talk About Bruno,” “Vampire,” “Old Town Road,” “Despacito,” “Shape of You,” “Uptown Funk,” “WAP,” “Thank U, Next,” “Shake It Off”

They may be some recency bias involved in this one, as Polkamania is the most recent song Weird Al has put out. However, it is an epic polka that has spanned the years after the release of Mandatory Fun with some of the best songs of that period. It also shows how starved I was for new Weird Al song content.

Lyrics

So you’re a tough guy                                                                     
Like it really rough guy                                                                                
Just can’t get enough guy                                                              
Chest always so puffed guy                                                           
I’m that bad type                                                                  
Make your mama sad type                                                 
Make your girlfriend mad type                                                       
Might seduce your dad type                                                           
I’m the bad guy
Duh                                                                 
                                                                                                            
(Adele / Hello)
So hello from the other side                                                                                   
I must’ve called a thousand times                                     
To tell you I’m sorry for breaking your heart                                
But it don’t matter, it clearly doesn’t tear you apart                    
Anymore
 
(Miley Cyrus / Flowers)
I can buy myself flowers                                                                 
Write my name in the sand                                                
Talk to myself for hours                                                                  
Say things you don’t understand                                                   
I can take myself dancing                                                               
And I can hold my own hand                                                                     
Yeah, I can love me better than you can                         
 
(Cast of Encanto / Lin-Manuel Miranda / We Don’t Talk About Bruno
We don’t talk about Bruno, no, no, no                                          
We don’t talk about Bruno                                                  
 
(Olivia Rodrigo / Vampire)
I used to think I was smart                                                 
But you made me look so naïve                                                                
The way you sold me for parts                                                      
You sunk your teeth into me, oh                                       
Bloodsucker, dream crusher                                              
Bleedin’ me dry, like a gosh darn vampire                                   
 
(Lil Nas X / Old Town Road)
Yeah, I’m gonna take my horse to the old town road                            
I’m gonna ride ’til I can’t no more                                      
I’m gonna take my horse to the old town road                            
I’m gonna ride ’til I can’t no more                          
Can’t nobody tell me nothing                                                         
(You can’t tell me nothing) No!                                                      
Can’t nobody tell me nothing                                                         
 

Despacito                                                                              
Quiero respirar tu cuello despacito                                               
Deja que te diga cosas al oído                                                      
Para que te acuerdes si no estás conmigo                                 
(Sube, sube, sube)

Mmm
I’m in love with the shape of you                                                               
We push and pull like a magnet do                                              
Every day discovering something brand new                             
I’m in love with your body                                                   
Oh I oh I oh I oh I                                                     
I’m in love with your body                                                   
Oh I oh I oh I oh I                                                     
Yoda-loda lady hoo!                                                            

‘Cause uptown funk gon’ give it to you                                         
‘Cause uptown funk gon’ give it to you                                         
Saturday night and we in the spot                                                
Don’t believe me just watch (hey!)                                                
(Doo doo doo, doo doo doo)                                              
 
(Cardi B feat. Megan Thee Stallion / WAP)
I want you to park that big Mack truck right in this little garage
Yeah, you messing with some
Bring a bucket and a mop for this
Give me everything you got for this
I’m talking WAP, WAP, WAP, that’s some
                                                                                                                                                            
(Ariana Grande / Thank U, Next)
Thank you, next                                                                   
Thank you, next                                                                   
Thank you, next                                                                   
I’m so super grateful for my ex                                                      
Thank you, next                                                                   
Thank you, next                                                                   
Thank you, next                                                                   
Super-duper grateful for my ex                                                      
 
(Taylor Swift / Shake It Off)
Wait!
I just killed my ex 
Not the best idea 
Killed his girlfriend next, how’d I get here?
I just killed my ex 
I still love him, though 
Rather be in hell than all alone
                                                            

I stay out too late                                                                 
Got nothing in my brain                                                                   
That’s what people say, mm-mm                                      
That’s what people say, mm-mm                                      
‘Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play                
And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate                    
Baby, I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake                    
I shake it off, I shake it off (hoo-hoo-hoo)                                                
Heartbreakers gonna break, break, break, break, break                      
And the fakers gonna fake, fake, fake, fake, fake                                  
Baby, I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake                    
I shake it off, I shake it off                                                  
That’s right, I’m gonna                                                                
Shake it                                                                              
Off (Gonna shake it off)                                                                              
(Shake, shake, shake it off)                                                           
(Now watch me shake it off)                                                           
Hey!”

Source: LyricFind

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #17

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#17

The North Korea Polka (Please Don’t Nuke Us)

Title: “The North Korea Polka (Please Don’t Nuke Us)”

Album: None

Appeared: HBO’s Last Week Tonight with John Oliver

Date: August 2017

Written: Al Yankovic

Genre: Polka

Topic: “John Oliver noted that North Korea has a surprising cultural affinity for the accordion. To take advantage of this, he brought in Yankovic and his signature accordion to ”communicate’ with the nation” –Entertainment Tonight

What an awesome surprise this was. Weird Al, who usually does medley polkas, provided an actual original song about North Korea. “The song was created as a satirical de-escalation plea during a time of heightened nuclear tensions between the U.S. and North Korea.” -www.weirdal.com.

Lyrics

Would you annihilate us if you had the chance?
That’s such an antisocial thing to do
You’ve got us crapping our collective pants
May I suggest you take it down a notch or two

We’re not exactly sure why you’re upset
Did that Seth Rogen movie make you super mad?
You’d like us if you got to know us i bet
We’re mostly harmless decent people, hey we’re really not so bad

My point is!
Please don’t nuke us North Korea
Right now we’re all a little tense
Believe me!
We don’t hate you
Frankly we don’t even think that much about you, no offense

Now you might call us “bloodthirsty dogs”
But that metaphor’s not very apt
Were just a bunch of simple fidget-spinning goofy dorks
Who probably couldn’t find your country on a map

No we’re not savages or cannibals
Well maybe just a really really really small percent
So I think it would be best if you’d knock off those missile tests
Don’t turn us into cinder while we’re swiping right on Tinder
Don’t jump start Armageddon or our beds will soon be wetter
Won’t you think this through for a moment please
Now why would you bomb our nice celebrities?
Oh why in the world would you kill Tom Hanks?
Cause nobody doesn’t like Tom Hanks!

So!
Please don’t nuke us North Korea
That would seriously ruin our day
Remember!
We’re not evil psychotic monsters
No matter what the news may say
We’re just those goofballs from the U.S.A!
(Please don’t nuke us)
(Please don’t nuke us)
(Please don’t nuke us)
Hey!

https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/weirdalyankovic/thenorthkoreapolkapleasedontnukeus.html

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #18

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#18

Happy Birthday

Title: “Happy Birthday”

Album: “Weird Al” Yankovic

Released: 1983

Written: Al Yankovic

Style: New wave/Punk rock pastiche

Topic: Wishing happy birthday while discussing all the worst things on the earth.

I love this song. I play it every year for my birthday and I have sent it to several people over Facebook or other social media platform.

“And a pinch to grow an inch!”

Lyrics

Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you

Well, it’s time to celebrate your birthday, it happens every year
We’ll eat a lot of broccoli and drink a lot of beer
You should be good and happy that there’s something you can eat
A million people every day are starving in the street

Your daddy’s in the gutter with the wretched and the poor
Your mama’s in the kitchen with a can of Cycle Four
There’s garbage in the water
There’s poison in the sky
I guess it won’t be long before we’re all gonna die

Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you

Well, what’s the matter little friend? You think this party is the pits?
Enjoy it while you can, we’ll soon be blown to bits
The monkeys in the Pentagon are gonna cook our goose
Their finger’s on the button, all they need is an excuse

It doesn’t take a military genius to see
We’ll all be crispy critters after World War III
There’s nowhere you can run to, nowhere you can hide
When they drop the big one, we all get fried
Come on, boys and girls, sing along, okay?

Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you (wow!)

Well, there’s a punk in the alley and he’s looking for a fight
There’s an Arab on the corner buying everything in sight
There’s a mother in the ghetto with another mouth to feed
Seems that everywhere you look today there’s misery and greed

I guess you know the earth is gonna crash into the sun
But that’s no reason why we shouldn’t have a little fun
So if you think it’s scary, if it’s more than you can take
Just blow out the candles and have a piece of cake

Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you (wow!)

Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you

And a pinch to grow an inch!

Source: Musixmatch

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #19

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#19

Eat It

Title: “Eat It”

Album: “Weird Al” Yankovic In 3D

Released: 1984

Written: Michael Jackson/Al Yankovic

Parody: “Beat It” by Michael Jackson

Genre: Pop/Rock/Comedy

Topic: Food and a finicky child

“Eat It” is one of the first huge hits for Weird Al. It is what truly put him on the map. Al talked about people referring to him as the “Eat It” Guy. The video is a direct parody of Michael Jackson’s video for “Beat It,” using several of the same dancers and choreography. This song won Weird Al his first Grammy for Best Comedy Recording.

Lyrics

How come you’re always such a fussy young man?
Don’t want no Captain Crunch, don’t want no Raisin Bran
Well, don’t you know that other kids are starving in Japan?
So, eat it, just eat it

Don’t wanna argue, I don’t wanna debate
Don’t wanna hear about what kind of food you hate
You won’t get no dessert ’til you clean off your plate
So eat it, don’t you tell me you’re full

Just eat it (eat it), eat it (eat it)
Get yourself an egg and beat it
Have some more chicken, have some more pie
It doesn’t matter if it’s boiled or fried

Just eat it (eat it), just eat it (eat it)
Just eat it (eat it), just eat it (eat it), ooh

Your table manners are a cryin’ shame
You’re playin’ with your food, this ain’t some kind of game
Now if you starve to death, you’ll just have yourself to blame
So eat it, just eat it

You better listen, better do what you’re told (ooh)
You haven’t even touched your tuna casserole (ooh!)
You better chow down or it’s gonna get cold
So eat it, I don’t care if you’re full

Just eat it (eat it), eat it (eat it)
Open up your mouth and feed it
Have some more yogurt, have some more Spam
It doesn’t matter if it’s fresh or canned

Just eat it (eat it), eat it (eat it)
Don’t you make me repeat it
Have a banana, have a whole bunch
It doesn’t matter what you had for lunch
Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it
Eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it

Eat it (eat it), eat it (eat it)
If it’s gettin’ cold, reheat it
Have a big dinner, have a light snack

If you don’t like it, you can’t send it back
Just eat it (eat it, hee-hee), eat it (eat it)
Get yourself an egg and beat it (oh, Lord!)
Have some more chicken (hee-hee), have some more pie (hee-hee)
It doesn’t matter if it’s broiled or fried

Just eat it (eat it), eat it (eat it)
Don’t you make me repeat it (oh, no)
Have a banana (hee-hee), have a whole bunch
It doesn’t matter what you had for lunch

Source: Musixmatch

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #20

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#20

It’s All About the Pentiums

Title: “It’s All About the Pentiums”

Album: Running With Scissors

Released: 1999

Parody: “It’s All About the Benjamins” by Puff Daddy

Written: Sean Combs / Kimberly Jones / David Styles / Sean Jacobs / Jason Phillips / Christopher Wallace / Terry M. Etlinger / Linda Laurie / Deric Angelettie / Al Yankovic

Genre: Rap/Comedy

Topic: Computers

We enter the Top 20 of the Top 100 with one of Weird Al’s first examples of his skill in rapping.

Lyrics

It’s all about the Pentiums, baby
Uhh, uh-huh, yeah
Uhh, uh-huh, yeah
It’s all about the Pentiums, baby
It’s all about the Pentiums, baby
It’s all about the Pentiums! (it’s all about the Pentiums, baby)
It’s all about the Pentiums! (it’s all about the Pentiums, baby)
Yeah

What y’all wanna do?
Wanna be hackers? Code crackers? Slackers
Wastin’ time with all the chatroom yakkers?
Nine to five, chillin’ at Hewlett Packard?
Workin’ at a desk with a dumb little placard?
Yeah, payin’ the bills with my mad programming skills
Defraggin’ my hard drive for thrills
I got me a hundred gigabytes of RAM
I never feed trolls and I don’t read spam
Installed a T1 line in my house
Always at my PC, double-clickin’ on my mizouse
Upgrade my system at least twice a day
I’m strictly plug-and-play, I ain’t afraid of Y2K
I’m down with Bill Gates, I call him Money for short
I phone him up at home and I make him do my tech support
It’s all about the Pentiums, what?
You’ve gotta be the dumbest newbie I’ve ever seen
You’ve got white-out all over your screen
You think your Commodore 64 is really neato
What kinda chip you got in there, a Dorito?
You’re usin’ a 286? Don’t make me laugh
Your Windows boots up in what, a day and a half?
You could back up your whole hard drive on a floppy diskette
You’re the biggest joke on the Internet
Your database is a disaster
You’re waxin’ your modem, tryin’ to make it go faster
Hey fella, I bet you’re still livin’ in your parents’ cellar
Downloadin’ pictures of Sarah Michelle Gellar
And postin’ “Me too!” like some brain-dead AOL-er
I should do the world a favor and cap you like Old Yeller
You’re just about as useless as jpegs to Hellen Keller

It’s all about the Pentiums! (it’s all about the Pentiums, baby)
It’s all about the Pentiums! (it’s all about the Pentiums, baby)
It’s all about the Pentiums! (it’s all about the Pentiums, baby)
It’s all about the Pentiums! (it’s all about the Pentiums, baby)

Now, what y’all wanna do?
Wanna be hackers? Code crackers? Slackers
Wastin’ time with all the chatroom yakkers?
Nine to five, chillin’ at Hewlett Packard?

Uh, uh, loggin’ in now
Wanna run wit my crew, hah?
Rule cyberspace and crunch numbers like I do?
They call me the king of the spreadsheets
Got ’em all printed out on my bedsheets
My new computer’s got the clocks, it rocks
But it was obsolete before I opened the box
You say you’ve had your desktop for over a week?
Throw that junk away, man, it’s an antique
Your laptop is a month old? Well that’s great
If you could use a nice, heavy paperweight
My digital media is write-protected
Every file inspected, no viruses detected
I beta tested every operating system
Gave props to some, and others? I dissed ’em
While your computer’s crashin’, mine’s multitaskin’
It does all my work without me even askin’
Got a flat-screen monitor forty inches wide
I believe that your says “Etch-A-Sketch” on the side
In a 32-bit world, you’re a 2-bit user
You’ve got your own newsgroup, alt.total-loser
Your motherboard melts when you try to send a fax
Where’d you get your CPU, in a box of Cracker Jacks?
Play me online? Well, you know that I’ll beat you
If I ever meet you I’ll control-alt-delete you
What? What? What? What? What?

It’s all about the Pentiums! (it’s all about the Pentiums, baby)
It’s all about the Pentiums! (it’s all about the Pentiums, baby)
It’s all about the Pentiums! (it’s all about the Pentiums, baby)
It’s all about the Pentiums! (it’s all about the Pentiums, baby)

Now, what y’all wanna do?
Wanna be hackers? Code crackers? Slackers
Wastin’ time with all the chatroom yakkers?
Nive to five, chillin’ at Hewlett Packard?
What?

Source: Musixmatch

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #22

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#22

Nature Trail to Hell

Title: “Nature Trail to Hell”

Album: “Weird Al” Yankovic In 3D

Released: 1984

Written : Al Yankovic

Style: Synth-Pop/Comedy

Topic: Slasher movies

Fact: Weird Al put a backwards secret message at the 3:40 mark that said “Satan loves Cheese Whiz”

One of my earliest favorite originals from Weird Al, Nature Trail to Hell had everything for young me. This was a hilarious song with some of the best lyrics you would find.

Lyrics

Coming this Christmas to a theater near you
The most horrifying film to hit the screen
There’s a homicidal maniac who finds a cub scout troop
And he hacks up two or three in every scene

Please don’t reveal the secret ending to your friends
Don’t spoil the big surprise
You won’t believe your eyes when you see

Nature trail to hell
Nature trail to hell
Nature trail to hell
In 3-d

Nature trail to hell
Nature trail to hell
Nature trail to hell
In 3-d

See severed heads that almost fall right in your lap
See that bloody hatchet coming right at you
No, you’ll never see hideous effects like these again
‘Till we bring you “nature trail to hell part 2”

So bring the kids along, it’s good clean family fun
What have you got to lose
If you like the six o’clock news then you’ll love
Nature trail to hell
Nature trail to hell
Nature trail to hell
In 3-d

Nature trail to hell
Nature trail to hell
Nature trail to hell
In 3-d

Nature trail to hell
Nature trail to hell
Nature trail to hell
In 3-d

Nature trail to hell
Nature trail to hell
Nature trail to hell
In 3-d

Nature trail to hell
Nature trail to hell
Nature trail to hell
In 3-d

N-n-n-n-n-n-n-nature trail to hell
Take it away from the nature trail to hell
There’s no escape from the nature trail to hell
In 3-d
3-d

Nature trail to hell
Nature trail to hell
Nature trail to hell
In 3-d

Nature trail to hell
In 3-d
Nature trail to hell
In 3-d
Nature trail to hell
In 3-d

Source: LyricFind

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs#23

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#23

Angry White Boy Polka

Title: “Angry White Boy Polka”

Album: Poodle Hat

Released: 2003

Genre: Polka/Comedy

Written: Alfred Matthew Yankovic / Jerry Allan Horton / Tobin Esperance / Dave Buckner / Jacoby Dakota Shaddix

Songs included: “Last Resort,” “Chop Suey,” “Get Free,” “Hate To Say I Told You So,” “Fell In Love With A Girl,” “Last Nite,” “Down With The Sickness,” “Renegades Of Funk,” “My Way,” “Outside,” “Bawitdaba,” “Youth Of The Nation,” and “The Real Slim Shady.”

I am not sure that I had ever heard any of these songs prior to the polka, so it is always fun when I happen to hear a lyric from a song and i think, “Hey, that’s Weird Al’s song!”

Lyrics

Cut my life into pieces
This is my last resort
Suffocation, no breathing
Don’t give a- if I cut my arm bleeding
This is my last resort

‘Cause I’m losing my sight, losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I’m fine
Losing my sight, losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I’m fine
Nothing’s all right, nothing is fine
I’m running and a-crying

Wake up (Wake up)
Grab a brush and put a little make-up
Hide the scars to fade away the shakeup
Why’d you leave the keys upon the table?
Here you go create another fable
You wanted to
Grab a brush and put a little makeup
You wanted to
Hide the scars to fade away the shakeup
You wanted to
Why’d you leave the keys upon the table?
You wanted to
I don’t think you trust
In my self-righteous suicide
I cry when angels deserve to die, die, die
D-d-die die die die die

Hey
I’m gonna get free
I’m gonna get free
I’m gonna get free
Ride into the sun
She never loved me
She never loved me
She never loved me
Why should anyone?
Come here, come here, come here I’ll take your photo for ya
Come here, come here, come here Drive you around the corner
Come here, come here, come here You know you really oughta
Come here, come here, come here Move out to California

Do what I want ’cause I can
If I don’t because I wanna
Be ignored by the stiff and the bored
Because I’m gonna
Hate to say I told you so (all right)
Do believe I told you so
Now it’s all out and you knew
‘Cause I wanted to

Fell in love with a girl
I fell in love at once and almost completely
She’s in love with the world
But sometimes these feelings can be so misleading
Can’t think of anything to do
Yeah, my left brain knows that all love is fleeting
She’s just looking for something new
Yeah, I said it once before but it bears repeating, now

Last night, she said
“Oh baby, don’t you feel so down” (feel so down)
“When you turn me off
“When I feel left out”
So I (what’d you do?)
Well, I turned around (right around)
“Oh, baby, gonna be alright” (gonna be alright)
It was a great big lie (big old lie)
‘Cause I left that night
Yeah

Ooh ah ah ah ah
Ooh ah ah ah ah
Get up
Come on get down with the sickness
Get up
Come on get down with the sickness
Get up
Come on get down with the sickness
Open up your hate and let it flow into me
Get up
Come on get down with the sickness
You mother get up
Come on get down with the sickness
Get up
Come on get down with the sickness
Madness is the gift that has been given to me

We’re the renegades of funk
We’re the renegades of funk
We’re the renegades of funk
We’re the renegades of funk
This time I’m’a let it all come out
This time I’m’a stand up and shout
I’m a do things my way
It’s my way
My way or the highway
This time I’m’a let it all come out
This time I’m’a stand up and shout
I’m a do things my way
It’s my way
Or the highway

But I’m on the outside
I’m looking in
I can see through you
See your true colors
‘Cause inside you’re ugly
Ugly like me
I can see through you
See to the real you

Bawitdaba da bang da dang diggy diggy
Diggy said the boogie said up jump the boogie
Bawitdaba da bang da dang diggy diggy
Diggy said the boogie said up jump the boogie

We are, we are
The youth of the nation
We are, we are
The youth of the nation

We are, we are
The youth of the nation
We are the youth of the nation Hey

I’m Slim Shady, yes I’m the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won’t the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up
Please stand up

I’m Slim Shady, yes I’m the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won’t the real Slim Shady please
Please, please stand up

Slim Shady won’t you please stand up?
(Stand up Shady)(Stand up)
(Stand up Shady)(Stand up)
Shady, won’t you please stand up?
Hey

Source: Musixmatch

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #24

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#24

Ebay

Title: “Ebay”

Album: Poodle Hat

Released: 2003

Parody: “I Want It That Way” by Backstreet Boys

Written: Martin Karl Sandberg / Andreas Michael Carlsson / Al Yankovic

Style: Pop/Comedy

Topic: an obsessive shopper and the online website, eBay.

The song ends with several “EEEEE”s after the ending of the official lyrics. It is a very funny bit and the parody hits too close to home as I do love me some eBay.

Lyrics

Yeah

A used pink bathrobe
A rare mint snow globe
A Smurf TV tray
I bought on eBay

My house is filled with this crap
Shows up in bubble wrap
Most every day
What I bought on eBay

Tell me why I need another pet rock
Tell me why I got that elf alarm clock
Tell me why I bid on Shatner’s old toupee
They had it on eBay

I’ll buy your knick-knack
Just check my feedback
A plus-plus, they all say
They love me on eBay

Gonna buy a slightly damaged golf bag
Gonna buy some beanie babies, new with tag
From some guy I’ve never met in Norway
Found him on Ebay

I am the type who is liable to snipe you
With two seconds left to go, whoa
Got PayPal or Visa, whatever’ll please ya
As long as I’ve got the dough

I’ll buy your Tchotchkes
Sell me your watch, please
I’ll buy (I’ll buy, I’ll buy, I’ll buy)
I’m highest bidder

Junk keeps arriving in the mail (now, yeah)
From that worldwide garage sale (Dukes of Hazard ashtray)
Hey, a Dukes of Hazard ashtray (oh, yeah)
I bought it on eBay

Wanna buy a Pac-Man Fever lunchbox
Wanna buy a case of Vintage tube socks
Wanna buy a Kleenex used by Dr. Dre (used by Dr. Dre)
Found it on eBay

Wanna buy that Farrah Fawcet poster
Pez dispensers and a toaster
Don’t know why
The kind of stuff you’d throw away (away I throw)
I’ll buy on eBay

What I bought on eBay

Source: Musixmatch