Style Parody: The Jackson’s “State of Shock” (featuring Mick Jagger)
Title track to Weird Al’s first motion picture, UHF, which flopped at the box office, but reached cult classic level over the years since.
Lyrics
Put down your remote control, throw out your TV Guide Put away your jacket, there’s no need to go outside Don’t you know that we control the horizontal We control the vertical too We gonna make a couch potato out of you That’s what we going to do now
Don’t change the channel, don’t touch that dial We got it all on UHF Kick off your sneakers, stick around for a while We got it all on UHF (on UHF) Don’t worry ’bout your laundry, forget about your job (ah) Just crank up the volume and yank off the knob (ah) We got it all (we got it all), we got it all on UHF
Disconnect the phone and leave the dishes in the sink You better put away your homework, prime time ain’t no time to think All you do is make yourself a TV dinner Press your face right up against the screen
We gonna show you things you ain’t ever seen If you know what I mean, now
Don’t change the channel, don’t touch that dial We got it all on UHF Kick off your sneakers, stick around for a while We got it all on UHF (on UHF) Don’t worry ’bout your laundry, forget about your job (ah) Just crank up the volume and yank off the knob (ah) We got it all (we got it all), we got it all on UHF
You can watch us all day, you can watch us all night (ooh) You can watch us any time that you please (ooh) You can sit around and stare at the picture tube ‘Til your brain turns into cottage cheese, well, now
Don’t change the channel, don’t touch that dial We got it all on UHF Kick off your sneakers, stick around for a while We got it all on UHF (on UHF) Don’t worry ’bout your laundry, forget about your job (ah) You gotta crank up the volume and yank off the knob (ah) We got it all (we got it all), we got it all on UHF
We got it all on UHF (UHF) We got it all on UHF (UHF) We got it all on UHF (UHF) We got it all on UHF (UHF)
We got it all on UHF (we got it all) We got it all on UHF (UHF) We got it all on UHF (we got it all) We got it all on UHF (we got it all, we got it)
We got it all on UHF (we got it, we got it all) We got it all on UHF (we got it all) We got it all on UHF (ooh, on UHF) We got it all on UHF
Parody: I Love Rock ‘n’ Roll by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts
Written: Jake Hooker / Alan Merrill / Alfred Yankovic
Genre: Rock ‘n’ Roll/Comedy
Topic: The love of ice cream, especially Rocky Road.
Special Appearance: “Musical” Mike Kieffer
Lyrics
I hear those ice cream bells and I start to drool Keep a couple quarts in my locker at school Yeah, but chocolate’s gettin’ old Vanilla just leaves me cold
There’s just one flavor good enough for me, yeah me Don’t gimme no crummy taste spoon I know what I need
Baby, I love rocky road So, weren’t you gonna buy half a gallon, baby? I love rocky road So, have another triple scoop with me, ow
They tell me ice cream junkies are all the same All the soda jerkers know my name When their supply is gone then I’ll be movin’ on But I’ll be back on Monday afternoon, you’ll see Another truck load’s comin’ in for me, all for me I’m singin’
I love rocky road So, weren’t you gonna buy half a gallon, baby? I love rocky road So, have another triple scoop with me, ow
Oh, make it talk
When I’m all alone, I just grab myself a cone And if I get fat and lose my teeth that’s fine with me Just lock me in the freezer and throw away the key Singing
I love rocky road So, weren’t you gonna buy half a gallon, baby? I love rocky road So, have another triple scoop with me
I love rocky road So, weren’t you gonna buy half a gallon, baby? I love rocky road So, have another triple scoop with
I love rocky road So, weren’t you gonna buy half a gallon, baby? I love rocky road So, have another triple scoop with
I love rocky road So, weren’t you gonna buy half a gallon, baby? I love rocky road So, have another triple scoop with me
Written: Adam Young / Alecia Beth Moore / Allan Peter Grigg / Benjamin Levin / Brandon Roy Melancon / Breyon Prescott / Cathy Dennis / Charles Burgess Kelley / Christopher A Stewart / Christopher Brian Bridges / Christopher M Henderson / Cristina Flores / David Wesley Haywood / Dwayne Carter / Edmund Koestscher / Faheem Najm / Fraser Lance Thorneycroft Smith / Gaetano Lama / Hillary Dawn Scott / Jacob Milan Taio Cruz / James Thomas Brown / Jamie Foxx / Jared Lincoln Cotter / Jason Joel Desrouleaux / Jay Sean / Jeremy David Skaller / Johan/Al Yankovic
Songs included: “Liechtensteiner Polka,” “Poker Face,” “Womanizer,” “Right Round,” “Day ‘n’ Nite,” “Need You Now,” “Baby,” “So What,” “I Kissed a Girl,” “Fireflies,” “Blame It,” “Replay,” “Down,” “Break Your Heart,” “Tick Tock Polka,” and “TikTok.”
Lyrics
Mum mum mum mah Mum mum mum muh Oh whoa oh oh oh
Can’t read my, can’t read my No, he can’t read-a my polka face (She’s got to love nobody) Can’t read my, can’t read my No he can’t read-a my polka face (She’s got to love nobody) P-p-p-polka face p-p-polka face (Mum mum mum muh) P-p-p-polka face p-p-polka face, hey
Womanizer, woman-womanizer, you’re a womanizer Oh, womanizer, oh, you’re a womanizer baby You, you, you are You, you, you are Womanizer, womanizer, womanizer (Womanizer)
Boy don’t try to front I, I know just what you are (are are) Boy don’t try to front I, I know just what you are (are are)
You say I’m crazy I got your crazy You’re nothing but a Womanizer
You spin my head right round, right round When you go down, when you go down down You spin my head right round, right round When you go down, when you go down
Day and night The lonely stoner seems to free his mind at night He’s all alone through the day and night The lonely loner seems to free his mind at night At, at, at night
It’s a quarter after one, I’m a little drunk and I need you now Said I wouldn’t call but I’ve lost all control and I need you now And I don’t know how I can do without I just need you now
And I was like baby baby baby Baby baby baby Baby baby baby I thought you’d always be mine
So, so what, I’m still a rock star I got my rock moves and I don’t need you And guess what, I’m havin’ more fun And now that we’re done, I’m gonna show you tonight I’m alright, I’m just fine and you’re a tool So, so what, I am a rock star I got my rock moves and I don’t want you tonight
I kissed a girl and I liked it, The taste of her cherry chapstick I kissed a girl just to try it, I hope my boyfriend don’t mind it It felt so wrong, it felt so right, Don’t mean I’m in love tonight I kissed a girl and I liked it, I liked it
And I’d like to make myself believe That planet earth turns slowly It’s hard to say that I’d rather stay Awake when I’m asleep ‘Cause everything is never as it seems
Blame it on the goose, gotcha feeling loose Blame it on the ‘tron, gotchya me in the zone Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol Blame it on the vodka, blame it on the Henny Blame it on the blue tap, got you feeling dizzy Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol
Shawty’s like a melody in my head That I can’t keep out Got me singin’ like Na na na na everyday It’s like my iPod stuck on replay Stuck on replay Stuck on replay Replay Replay-ay-ay-ay
Baby, are you down, down, down, down, down? Baby are you down?
I’m only gonna break break your break break your heart I’m only gonna break break your break break your heart I’m only gonna break break your break break your heart I’m only gonna break your heart
Don’t stop, making pop DJ blow my speakers up Tonight, I’mma fight Till we see the sun light Tick tock, on the clock But the polka don’t stop (no) Yodel-yodel-lady-hoo Yodel-yodel-lady-hoo
P-p-p-polka face p-p-polka face (mum mum mum mah) P-p-p-polka face p-p-polka face Oh no you can’t read my p-p-polka face Talk about my polka face P-p-p-polka face
Written: Lukasz Gottwald / Claude Kelly / Jessica Cornish/Al Yankovic
Genre: Pop/Comedy
Topic: The dark, cloak-and-dagger operations of the Central Intelligence Agency
The dark comedic song is in direct opposition to the happy, upbeat music. This is a ton of fun and the animated video that was released with the song was hilarious.
Lyrics
I moved out to Langley recently With a plain and simple dream Wanna infiltrate some third-world place And topple their regime
Those men in black with their matching suitcases Where everything’s on a need-to-know basis Agents got that swagger And everyone so cloak and dagger
I’m feeling nervous but I’m really kinda wishing For another undercover mission That’s when the red alert came on the radio And I put my earpiece on Got my dark sunglasses on And I had my weapon drawn
So I get my handcuffs, my cyanide pills My classified dossier Tapping the phones like, yeah Shredding the files like, yeah
I memorized all the enemy spies I’ve got to neutralize today Yeah, it’s a party in the CIA Yeah, it’s a party in the CIA
I’ve done a couple of crazy things That have almost gotten me dismissed Like terminate some head of state Who wasn’t even on my list
Burn that microfilm, buddy, will you? I’d tell you why but then I’d have to kill you You need a quickie confession? Well, start a water boarding session
No hurry on this South American dictator I’ll assassinate him later That’s when he walked right in my laser sights And my silencer was on And my silencer was on And another target’s gone
Yeah, we’ve got black ops all over the world From Kazakhstan to Bombay Paying the bribes like, yeah Plugging the leaks like, yeah
Interrogating the scum of the earth We’ll break them by the break of day Yeah, it’s a party in the CIA Yeah, it’s a party in the CIA
Need a country destabilized? Look no further, we’re your guys We’ve got snazzy suits and ties And a better dental plan than the FBI’s
Better put your hands up and get in the van Or else you’ll get blown away Staging a coup like, yeah Brainwashing moles like, yeah
We only torture the folks we don’t like You’re probably gonna okay Yeah, it’s a party in the CIA Yeah, it’s a party in the CIA
Style Pastiche: “We Are the World”, “Voices That Care”, “Hands Across America”, “Heal the World” and other similar charity songs
Topic: The illegal downloading of music from the internet
One of the more out of date Weird Al songs, Don’t Download This Song is still a personal favorite. Even with the song involving things that are not things anymore, this is funny and a great musical song.
Lyrics
Once in a while maybe you will feel the urge To break international copyright law By downloading MP3’s from file sharing sites Like Morpheus or Grokster or LimeWire or KaZaA But deep in your heart you know the guilt would drive you mad And the shame would leave a permanent scar ‘Cause you start out stealing songs, and then you’re robbing liquor stores And selling crack and running over school kids with your car
So don’t download this song The record store’s where you belong Go and buy the CD like you know that you should Oh don’t download this song
Oh you don’t want to mess with the RIAA They’ll sue you if you burn that CDR It doesn’t matter if you’re a grandma or a seven year old girl They’ll treat you like the evil, hard bitten criminal scum you are
So don’t download this song Don’t go pirating music all day long Go and buy the CD like you know that you should Oh, don’t download this song
Don’t take away money from artists just like me How else can I afford another solid gold Humvee? And diamond studded swimming pools, these things don’t grow on trees So all I ask is everybody, please
Don’t download this song (don’t do it, no, no) Even Lars Ulrich knows it’s wrong (you can just ask him) Go and buy the CD like you know that you should (you really should) Oh, don’t download this song
Don’t download this song (Oh please don’t you do it) Or you might wind up in jail like Tommy Chong (remember Tommy) Go and buy the CD (right now) like you know that you should (go out and buy it) Oh don’t download this song
Don’t download this song (no no no no no no) Or you’ll burn in hell before too long (and you’d deserve it) Go and buy the CD (just buy it) like you know that you should (ya cheap bastard) Oh, don’t download this song
Topic: Sending stupid things across the internet/email
Lyrics
Oh, the sand keeps fallin’ through the hourglass And there’s no way you’re gonna slow it down You say, “We gotta treasure each moment Who knows how long we’re gonna be around?” Yeah, you keep on telling me life is short And it’s hard to disagree with what you say But if time is so precious, why you wastin’ mine? ‘Cause I’m always reading, always deleting Every useless piece of garbage that you send my way
Every stupid hoax (ooh), all those corny jokes Stop forwarding that crap to me Well, I don’t need tons of cringe-inducing puns (ooh) Stop forwarding that crap to me No, it isn’t okay if you brighten my day (ah) With some cut and pasted hackneyed Hallmark poetry And I didn’t request a personality test (ooh) Stop forwarding that crap to me (Ah-ah-ah)
You’re sending virus-laden, bandwidth-hogging attachments To every single person you know (ah) You’re passin’ ’round a link to some dumb thing on YouTube That everybody else already saw three years ago (ah) And wacky, badly photoshopped billboards Were never that amusing to me (ah) And I just can’t believe you believe those urban legends But I have high hopes someone’ll point you towards Snopes And debunk that crazy junk you’re spewing constantly
No, I don’t want a bowl of Chicken Soup For the Soul (ooh) Stop forwarding that crap to me Send more top ten lists and I’ll slash my wrists (ooh) Stop forwarding that crap to me Well, I’m sorry I can’t accept your paranoid rant (ah, ah) And I don’t want the Neiman-Marcus cookie recipe Won’t you kindly refrain? ‘Cause it’s hurting my brain Stop forwarding that crap to me
Like glittery hearts and unicorns and pictures of somebody’s cat Now tell me In what alternate reality would I care about something like that? And by the way Your quotes from George Carlin aren’t really George Carlin Mr. Rogers never fought the Viet-Cong And Bill Gates is never gonna give me something for nothing (ah) And I highly doubt some dead girl’s gonna kill me If I don’t pass your letter along
Well, now I know you’re wishin’ I’ll sign your petition But stop forwarding that crap to me And I don’t wanna read your series of conspiracy theories Just stop forwarding that crap to me And your two million loser friends all have my address now (ah) ‘Cause you never figured out the way to BCC Now I gotta insist (ooh) Take me off of your list (ooh) Stop forwarding that crap to me (ah)
just stop it now (Stop forwarding that crap to me) oh, no (Stop forwarding that crap to me) whoa
I can’t take it (Stop forwarding that crap to me) oh, please (Stop forwarding that crap to me)
At the risk of being slightly repetitious (ah) Gonna ask you now to stop (stop) Sending me that (crap) I don’t want it (ah) Don’t send it to me, no, don’t send it to me
Written: Joel Little / Alfred Matthew Yankovic / Ella Marija Lani Yelich O’connor
Genre: Pop
Weird Al’s Foil goes from talking about wrapping food in aluminum foil so it will not spoil to talking about the Illuminati and New World Order. Quite the flip of script. The video is hilarious, featuring the one and only Patton Oswalt, as well as comedians Thomas Lennon, and Robert Ben Garant.
Lyrics
I never seem to finish all my food I always get a doggie bag from the waiter So I just keep what’s still unchewed And I take it home, save it for later
But then I deal with fungal rot, bacterial formation Microbes, enzymes, mould and oxidation I don’t care, I’ve got a secret trick up my sleeve
I never bother with baggies, glass jars, tupperware containers Plastic cling wrap, really a no-brainer I just like to keep all my flavours sealed in tight
With aluminum foil (Foil) Never settle for less That kind of wrap is just the best To keep your sandwich nice and fresh
Stick it in your cooler (Cooler) Eat it when you’re ready Then maybe you’ll choose (You’ll choose, you’ll choose, you’ll choose) A refreshing herbal tea Mmm, lovely!
Oh, by the way, I’ve cracked the code I’ve figured out these shadow organizations And the Illuminati know That they’re finally primed for world domination
And soon you’ve got black helicopters comin’ cross the border Puppet masters for the New World Order Be aware: There’s always someone that’s watching you And still the government won’t admit they faked the whole moon landing Thought control rays, psychotronic scanning Don’t mind that, I’m protected cause I made this hat
From aluminum foil (Foil) Wear a hat that’s foil lined In case an alien’s inclined To probe your butt or read your mind
Looks a bit peculiar (‘culiar) Seems a little crazy But someday I’ll prove (I’ll prove, I’ll prove, I’ll prove) There’s a big conspiracy
Topic: Jurassic park, the movie from Steven Spielberg
Fact: Al reached out to both Michael Crichton and Steven Spielberg for permission to parody the Jurassic Park film.
Weird Al has done many movie parodies in songs over the years including Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, Spider-Man and Rocky. Jurassic park joined that list with this lead track from Alapalooza.
I remember when this album came out. I was at Wal-Mart, looking at CDs when I spotted this new Weird Al album. I had no idea it was coming out and it was such an awesome surprise.
Lyrics
I recall the time they found those fossilized mosquitoes And before long, they were cloning DNA Now I’m being chased by some irate velociraptors Well, believe me this has been one lousy day
Jurassic Park is frightening in the dark All the dinosaurs are running wild Someone shut the fence off in the rain I admit it’s kinda eerie But this proves my chaos theory And I don’t think I’ll be coming back again, oh no!
I cannot approve of this attraction ‘Cause getting disemboweled always makes me kinda mad A huge tyrannosaurus ate our lawyer Well, I suppose that proves they’re really not all bad
Jurassic Park is frightening in the dark All the dinosaurs are running wild Someone let T- Rex out of his pen I’m afraid those things’ll harm me ‘Cause they sure don’t act like Barney And they think that I’m their dinner, not their friend, oh no!
Jurassic Park is frightening in the dark All the dinosaurs are running wild What a crummy weekend this has been Well, this sure ain’t no e-ticket Think I’ll tell them where to stick it ‘Cause I’m never coming back this way again, oh no, oh no!
Two in a row from Poodle Hat after not having a song for the whole run up until yesterday.
Lyrics
Peter Parker was pitiful Couldn’t have been any shyer Mary Jane still wouldn’t notice him Even if his hair was on fire
But then one day he went to that science lab That mutated spider came down Oh, and now Peter crawls over everyone’s walls And he’s swingin’ all over town
La li la, li de da La la, li le la da dumb
Sling us a web, you’re the Spider-Man Sling us a web tonight ‘Cause we’re all in the mood for a hero now And there’s evil doers to fight
Now Harry the rich kid’s a friend of his Who horns in on Mary Jane But to his great surprise it seems she prefers guys Who can kiss upside down in the rain
“With great power comes great responsibility” That’s the catch phrase of old Uncle Ben If you missed it, don’t worry, they’ll say the line Again and again and again
Oh, la la la, di de da La la, di di da da dom
Now Norman’s a billionare scientist Who never had time for his son But then something went screw and before you knew he Was trying to kill everyone
And he’s ridin’ around on that glider thing And he’s throwin’ that weird pumpkin bomb Yes, he’s wearin’ that dumb Power Rangers mask But he’s scarier without it on
Sling us a web, you’re the Spider-Man Sling us a web tonight ‘Cause you’re brave and you’re strong and so limber now But where’d you come up with those tights?
It’s a pretty sad day at the funeral Norman Osborn has bitten the dust And I heard Harry’s said he wants Spider-Man dead Aw, but his buddy Pete he can trust
Oh, and M.J. is all hot for Peter now Aw, but Peter, he just shuts her down Mary Jane, don’t you cry, you can give it a try Again when the sequal comes ’round
Oh, la la la, di de da La la, di di da da dumb
Sling us a web, you’re the Spider-Man Sling us a web tonight ‘Cause we all sure could use us a hero now And we think that you’ll do all right
Written: Graham Edwards / Lauren Christy / Avril Ramona Lavigne / David Scott Alspach/Al Yankovic
Album: Poodle Hat
Release: 2003
Parody: “Complicated” by Avril Lavigne
Genre: Pop/Punk
Poodle Hat finally breaks through as the final Weird Al album represented in the Top 100 with A Complicated song, which breaks into three separate stories. Some of the stories are silly, but a lot of fun.
Lyrics
Uh huh… extra cheese Uh huh, uh huh… save a piece for me
Pizza party at your house I went just to check it out 19 extra larges What a shame No one came
Just us eatin’ all alone You said, “Take the pizza home” “No sense lettin’ all this go to waste” So then I faced
Pizza all day And every day This cheese ’round the clock Is gettin’ me blocked And I sure don’t care For irregularity
Tell me Why’d you have to go and make me so constipated? ‘Cause right now I’d do anything to just get my bowels evacuated In the bathroom… I sit and I wait and I strain And I sweat and I clench and I feel the pain Oh, should I take laxatives or have my colon irrigated? No no no
I was feelin’ pretty down ‘Till my girlfriend came around We’re just so alike in every way I gotta say
In fact, I just thought I might Pop the question there that night I was kissing her so tenderly But woe is me
Who would have guessed Her family crest I’d suddely spy Tattooed on her thigh And son-of-a-gun It’s just like the one on me
Tell me How was I supposed to know we were both related? Believe me, if I knew she was my cousin we never would have dated What to do now? Should I go ahead and propose And get hitched and have kids with 11 toes And move to Alabama where that kind of thing is tolerated? No no no no no no no No no no no no no no No no no no no
I had so much on my mind I thought maybe I’d unwind Try out that new roller coaster ride And the guide
Said not to stand But that’s a demand That I couldn’t meet I got on my feet And stood up instead And knocked off my head, you see
Tell me Why’d I have to go and get myself decapitated? This really is a major inconvenience, oh man, I really hate it Such a drag, now… can’t eat, I can’t breathe, I can’t snore I can’t belch or yodel anymore Can’t spit or blow my nose or even read Sports Illustrated
Oh no Why’d I have to go and get myself all mutilated? (yeah, yeah) I gotta tell ya, life without a head kinda makes me irritated What a bummer Can’t blink, I can’t cough, I can’t sneeeze But my neck is enjoyin’ a pleasant breeze now Haven’t been the same since my head and I were separated No no no
Parody: “Under the Bridge” and “Give It Away” by Red Hot Chili Peppers
Written: Chad Smith / John Frusciante / Anthony Kiedis / Michael Balzary / Alfred Yankovic
Genre: Funk rock
This is another TV show that Al honors in song as this time it is the Flintstones. There are voice clips from the Flintstones on the song.
Lyrics
Sometimes, I feel like I need a vacation Sometimes, I feel like I wanna go to the city of cavemen, the city of Bedrock I’d be a Flintstone, now, I’ll tell you why
Oh Oh Oh!
Well, I’ve got, I’ve got a woman named, Wilma Well, I’ve got, I’ve got a baby named Pebbles Well, I’ve got, I’ve got a doggy named Dino We do a little bowling and we drink a little vino
Well, I’ve got a little buddy, Barney Rubble Got a neighbor by the name of Barney Rubble He’s a midget but, he makes a lot of trouble Doesn’t like to shave, he got caveman stubble
Me and Barney, loyal order water buffalo Lodge brothers, loyal order water buffalo There’s a handshake everybody gotta know How come grand Poo-Bah always gotta run the whole show?
Yabba-dabba-yabba-dabba-dabba do now Yabba-dabba-yabba-dabba-dabba do now Yabba-dabba-yabba-dabba-dabba do now I get by on all my prehistoric know-how
Betty and Barney got a baby, named, Bamm-Bamm Little Pebbles is his number one fan He’s the strongest toddler in the whole land Tear your arm off, if he’s shaking your hand
Got a car, gonna push it with my feet now Gonna take my family out to eat now Jumbo ribs at the drive-in can’t be beat now Made from brontosaurus, baby, not a moo-cow
Wanna chill with a saber tooth tiger Wear a loincloth, natural fiber Be the first rolling stone subscriber Got a pterodactyl for a windshield wiper
Yabba-dabba-yabba-dabba-dabba do now Yabba-dabba-yabba-dabba-dabba do now Yabba-dabba-yabba-dabba-dabba do now Don’t know what it means, but I say it anyhow
Wilma, I’m home! Start serving dinner And don’t spare the- Oh, no, no, no! Don’t Dino, don’t! Now take it easy, boy!
Lucky me, workin’ down in the gravel pit Movin’ rocks, on a big dinosaur I sit Mr. Slate gets mad, and he throws a fit Pull the birdie’s tail, everybody knows it’s time to quit
I realize I’m living in the Stone Age No fax, no cellular phone-age Pick my teeth with a dinosaur bone-age Liftin’ heavy boulders every day for my wage
Barney Rubble, laughin’ like a hyena Barney Rubble, what a little wiener! Where’s Wilma? Anybody seen her? Got a baby elephant vacuum cleaner
Yabba-dabba-yabba-dabba-dabba do now Yabba-dabba-yabba-dabba-dabba do now Yabba-dabba-yabba-dabba-dabba do now Yabba-dabba-yabba-dabba-dabba do now
Yabba-dabba-dabba do now Yabba-dabba-dabba do now Yabba-dabba-dabba do now Yabba-dabba-dabba do now
Yabba-dabba-dabba do now Yabba-dabba-dabba do now (E-yabba-dabba-do) Yabba-dabba-dabba do now Yabba-dabba-dabba do now
Yabba-dabba-dabba do now Yabba-dabba-dabba do now (E-yabba-dabba-do) Yabba-dabba-dabba do now Yabba-dabba-dabba do now
Extra voices: Tress MacNeille (“How ya doin’ Bernie?”) and Mary Kay Bergman (“For a rabbi!”)
Parody: “Pretty Fly for a White Guy” by the Offspring
Genre: Pop Punk/Comedy
Oy Vey! Lots of Yiddish phrases used in this song, which may not have aged as well as some of Al’s other songs. Still, this is a well done parody and is very funny.
Lyrics
Oy vey, oy vey! (How ya doin’, Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey! (How ya doin’, Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey! And all the goyim say I’m pretty fly for a rabbi
Meccha leccha hi, meccha hiney hiney ho
Our temple’s had a fair share of rabbis in the past But most of’em were nudniks and none of’em would last But our new guy’s real kosher, I think he’ll do the trick I tell ya, he’s to die for, he really knows his shtick
So how’s by you? Have you seen this Jew? Reads the Torah, does his own accounting too Working’ like a dog at the synagogue He’s there all day, he’s there all day
Just say “Vay is mir!” and he’ll kick into gear He’ll bring you lots of cheer and maybe bagels with some shmeer Just grab your yarmulka and Hey! Hey! Do that Hebrew thing!
Oy vey, oy vey! (How ya doin’, Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey! (How ya doin’, Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey! And all the goyim say I’m pretty fly (for a rabbi)
He shops at discount stores, not just any will suffice He has to find a bargain ’cause he won’t pay retail price He never acts meshugga and he’s hardly a schlemiel But if you want to haggle, oy, he’ll make you such a deal!
People used to scoff, now they say “Mazel tov!” He’s such a macher ’cause he works his tuchis off Yeah, he keeps his cool and teaches shul What’s not to like? What’s not to like?
Oh high holy days, you know he prays and prays And he never eats pastrami on white bread with mayonnaise Put on your yarmulka and Hey! Hey! Do that Hebrew thing!
When he’s doing a Bar Mitzvah, now that you shouldn’t miss He’ll always shlep on down for a wedding or a briss They say he’s got a lot of chutzpah, he’s really quite hip The parents pay the moyl and he gets to keep the tip!
Oy vey, oy vey! (How ya doin’, Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey! (How ya doin’, Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey!
Meccha leccha hi, meccha meccha cholly ho
He’s doin’ well, I gotta kvell The yentas love him, even shicksas think he’s swell Show up at his home, he says, “Shalom!” And “Have some cake, you want some cake?”
Yeah he calls the shots, we really love him lots Oy gevalt, I’m so ferklempt that I could plotz! So grab your yarmulka The one you got for Hanukah
Let’s put on our yarmulkas and Hey! Hey! Do that Hebrew thing!
Style Pastiche: Late 90s third-wave sks music like Reel Big Fish and The Mighty Mighty Bosstones
A good example of Al singing really fast. You haven’t seen anything yet though. This is a real gem off Running With Scissors and is one of the funnier originals on the album. KILL THEM!
Lyrics
Aquarius There’s travel in your future When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus Fill that void in your pathetic life By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day
Pisces Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus You are the true Lord of the dance No matter what those idiots at work say
Aries The look on your face will be priceless When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep
Taurus You will never find true happiness What you gonna do, cry about it? The stars predict tomorrow you’ll wake up Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep
That’s your horoscope for today (that’s your horoscope for today) That’s your horoscope for today That’s your horoscope for today (that’s your horoscope for today) That’s your horoscope for today (that’s your horoscope for today)
Gemini Your birthday party will be ruined Once again by your explosive flatulence Your love life will run into trouble When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest
Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver’s test
Leo Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt And staple it to your bosses face, oh no Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik
Virgo All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you Expect a big surprise today When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick
That’s your horoscope for today (that’s your horoscope for today) That’s your horoscope for today That’s your horoscope for today (that’s your horoscope for today) That’s your horoscope for today
Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that The relative position of the planets and the stars Could have a special deep significance or meaning That exclusively applies to only you
But, let me give you my assurance that These forecasts and predictions are all based on Solid, scientific, documented evidence So you would have to be some kind of moron Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true
Where was I?
Libra A big promotion is just around The corner for someone much more talented than you Laughter is the very best medicine Remember that when your appendix bursts next week
Scorpio, get ready for an Unexpected trip When you fall screaming from an open window Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak
Sagittarius All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them) Take down all those naked pictures of Ernest Borgnine, you’ve got hanging in your den
Capricorn The stars say that you’re an exciting and wonderful person But, you know they’re lying If I were you, I’d lock my doors and windows And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again
That’s your horoscope for today (that’s your horoscope for today) That’s your horoscope for today That’s your horoscope for today (that’s your horoscope for today) That’s your horoscope for today
That’s your horoscope for today (that’s your horoscope for today) That’s your horoscope for today That’s your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay) That’s your horoscope for today
I always feel bad when the EYG Comic Cavalcade slides to Monday, but there were just too many books for me to get to on a packed full weekend. Even after spending time reading on Wednesday at Comic World, I could not find the time to get them all done until now. I even had to read some tonight before doing this write-up in order to get to this post.
While I was at Comic World, I was sitting reading at their table. By the end of the afternoon, I went to get up and my knee was terrible. I could barely walk, and I thought, am I so old that I can hurt myself… sitting?
Comic of the Week
If Destruction Be Our Lot #1
It came down to this book and Dog Tag #1 this week for Comic of the Week, but I wound up choosing the new Image Comic book, If Destruction Be Our Lot #1.
It is a great premise with the humans being gone and robots being the main characters. The Abraham Lincoln robot makes for an awesome protagonist and the idea that there are surviving humans somewhere works as a conflict. This has promise to be an exceptional series.
Plus, the C cover was the Bronze Medalist this week.
Books this week:
Dog Tag #1. Written by Mark Russell with pencils by PJ Holden. Cover art was done by PJ Holden & JP Jordan. The book that was neck and neck with If Destruction Be Our Lot #1 as Comic of the Week, Dog Tag #1 was an exceptional read. A World War II story about a journalist and his time during the war. Tom Fuller is the main protagonist and I was surprised how much I was engaged with him. This was a strong first issue and I am excited about where this goes from here. Another winner for Mad Cave.
Wade Wilson: Deadpool#2. “Bad Calls” Written by Benjamin Percy with art by Geoff Shaw. Cover art was done by Geoff Shaw & Alex Sinclair. Deadpool spends a bunch of this issue inside the trunk of Hammerhead’s car. He gets out to try and save Blind Al from Hammerhead. Oh, and, by the way, Blind Al is the one who was sending the mysterious future notes to Wade. This new Deadpool book has been cooking with a down and depressed Wade and a lot of mysteries.
She-Spawn #1. “American Dream.” Written by Gail Simone and art and cover art by Ig Guara. I picked this up only as a collector. I had zero interest in this book and it had a destiny for the number one box. Then I noticed that it was written by Gail Simone (GAIL!!!!) and I thought, okay, I should at least read it before I subject it to the number one box, but even with the wonderful Gail Simone at the helm, I was not going to like a Spawn book (yes, I know I like Sam and Twitch, but this is different). So I read it and…. I can’t believe it… I thought it was great. So great that I want to buy #2 when it comes out. AAAARARGGGGHHH! What were the odds? I don’t like Spawn. But I was thoroughly entertained with this book. Dang it.
Excommunicated: The Unholy Body Bag #I. Written by Jeremy Robinson and art by Tiago Palma. Cover art by Tyler Crook. This is very strange. I picked up this black bag because it looked cool and I found out that this was cover G. Then I learned that cover A is coming out next week. What? The variants come out the week before cover A? Does that happen… ever? I liked the book so I will probably grab cover A if available, but it was confusing for awhile.
Absolute Superman #19. “Red Steel in the House of Chaos.” Written by Jason Aaron with art by Rafa Sandoval. Cover art was done by Rafa Sandoval & Ulises Arreola. Superman faces off with Absolute Shazam (or is he absolute Black Adam… or some kind of amalgam of them?) and we meet absolute Steel. Has Absolute Superman met his match? Quick cameo of Absolute Batman too.
Royals #2. Written by Derek Kirk Kim with art and cover art by Jacob Perez. The trouble is brewing for Paul and Castor as their telepathic poker scam is coming out in the open and there is a player angry about being ripped off. I really liked the time we spent with the brothers, particularly Castor this issue. The character beats worked to provide us more details on the two brothers. I am enjoying this new book very much.
All-New Spider-Gwen: Ghost Spider #20. Written by Stephanie Phillips and art by Paolo Villanelli. Cover art was done by David Marquez & Federico Blee. I have to say, I was, at first, unhappy with this issue. Gwen becoming a Green Goblin felt so already done that I was not pleased. Then, the story took a twist and won me back with one unexpected turn. I think this is the final issue for this book, which is unfortunate. I feel as if it was just starting to hit its stride.
Ben 10 #1. “Man of Action.” Written by Joe Casey with art by Robert Carey. Variant cover C art was done by Dustin Nguyen (Silver Medalist). Another book that I did not plan on reading or continuing to collect. Ben 10 was never my jam of a cartoon. But, as the collector, I wanted to grab a copy and I picked out a beautiful, simple cover by Dustin Nguyen for my collection. The cover was so nice that I decided to give it a chance. The fact that Dynamite has had some other characters that I never watched or didn’t care about (Captain Planet, Silverhawks, Darkwing Duck, Ursula, etc.) in series that I really enjoyed added to the curiosity with this book. Of course, I read it and I really liked it too. Come on Dynamite… you pick characters that I do not like, you are not then supposed to make a comic that I want to buy.
Marc Spector: Moon Knight #4. “Break and Enter” Part One. Written by Jed MacKay and art by Devmalya Pramanik. Cover art was done by Paulo Siqueira & Rachelle Rosenberg. Moon Knight’s crew at the Midnight Mission went in search of Marc, and wound up disappearing themselves. Marc is back and looking for his friends… inside a building covered by a blackness… that is spreading. What is this new, weird supernatural building and what has it done with Tigra, 8-Ball, Hunter’s Moon and the others.
X-Men #29. “Danger Room, Pt. 4“. Written by Jed MacKay with pencils by Netho Diaz. Cover art was done by Netho Diaz, Sean Parsons, & Fer Sifuentes-Sujo. While Quentin is out of control in search of whom shot Glob Herman, something bizarre is going on with the X-Men. Are they zombies? Cyclops has certainly looked better. Wild stuff in the world of the mutants.
Amazing Spider-Man #28. Written by Joe Kelly with guest pencilers Cory Smith with Francesco Manna. Cover art was done by Marcio Menyz & Erick Arciniega. This was a fun Spider-Man issue as Peter receives a major mission from Doctor Strange, but has to take care of a bunch of tangents on the way to the location. There are several fun cameos and moments for Peter in this issue. It may be a filler issue, but it is how a filler issue should be.
Daredevil #2. Written by Stephanie Phillips with art and cover art by Lee Garbett. Matt Murdock has all kinds of problems surrounding him. He has to take on the Owl to find out what is happening, and, even though he does not get much from him, it adds to his mind. Matt’s class of students gave him grief too as he is trying to be a professor. And HEY! it’s Spider-Man!
Fall of the House of Slaughter #1. Written by Tate Brombal and illustrated by Adriano Turtulici. The Dragon is dying. The other houses are preparing to nominate someone to take his place once he passes on. But who really wants the position? The Dragon has his own idea… Erica Slaughter. But… everyone believes that she is dead.
Cyclops #4. “Seeing Red” Part 4. Written by Alex Paknadel and art by Rogê Antonio. This Cyclops, blind and in the woods story has been fantastic so far. I have really enjoyed seeing Scott being challenged by losing his visor and glasses, and having to be chased by the Reavers. I am excited to see where this is going.
Muppets Noir #3. Written, Drawn & cover art by Roger Langridge. This has been a really fun Dynamite book. I do love the Muppets and seeing Kermit as a noir detective (and not a very good one) with Miss Piggy running around, making him look bad, is awesome. It looks like next issue is the final one for this series, but I want more Muppets! Let’s make it happen, Dynamite (or Disney… whoever!).
Fantastic Four #10. Written by Ryan North with pencils by Humberto Ramos. Cover art was done by Humberto Ramos & Edgar Delgado. The Invincible Woman has arrived in the 616-universe as the Fantastic Four and a bunch of their allies have to bring her down. Oh, and Sue has to save Galactus.
Captain Marvel: Dark Past #2. Written by Paul Jenkins and art and cover art by Lucas Werneck. I like this mystery involving Carol and her past memories. I think this is a great use of history, as Carol has to come to see Rogue about something she did not remember.
Batman #9. “Operation Peregrine.” Written by Matt Fraction and art by Ryan Sook. Cover art was done by Jorge Jimenez & Tomeu Morey. I also picked up the incentive variant cover by David Aja. The Gotham City Police have new orders. The orders are to bring down the Batman family. And in this issue, one of them does fall.
Astonishing Miles Morales: Spider-Man- The Art of Thwip #1. Written by Cody Ziglar and art by Alessandro Miracolo & Ig Guara. Cover art was done by Taurin Clarke. I have missed Miles’s book, but, to be truthful, I did not love this book. There was just too many other stories and characters than just Miles. I am sure it will get better as it moves along, but this was not the best return I hav eread.
Tales of the Green Lantern Corps: Guy Gardner #1. “Light Club.” Written by Gerry Duggan and art by Matteo Lolli, Laura Braga, and Vasco Georgiev. Cover art was done by Edwin Galmon. This was one I read tonight before starting the Comic Cavalcade, and I really liked this one. Guy Gardner is such a fun character and I enjoyed the pairing of Guy and John Stewart. I might even buy a buddy book with the two of them in it.
Other Books This Week: Godzilla #10, Sleepy Hollow: The Witches of the Western Woods #1, Red Sonja: She-Devil With a Sword #1, Star Wars: Rogue One-Cassian Andor #1, The Autumn Kingdom #4, Absolute Green lantern #14, Godzilla Infinity Roar #4, Jubilee: Deadly Reunion #1, Storm: Earth’s Mightiest Mutant #4, and the Center Holds #3.
Quick Hits: The first quick hit this week is Speed Racer #8 from Mad Cave. This has been a consistently engaging book. I had no idea that Marvel was putting out a book called Civil War: Unmasked #1. I think they were trying to make Tony Stark’s out-of-character behavior during Civil War make more sense as he takes a trip to Bishop’s future. Not sure it worked like they wanted, but there was a foil cover that I picked up that was the Gold Medalist of the week. Comics! The Magazine #3 dropped this week with a cool interview with Kevin Eastman. Ghost Machine: The Official Guidebook #2 came out this week and it goes right up to the letter Z with Zigzag. It says that there will be a six-issue series, but where do they go after Z? The 20th Century Studios book Alien: King Killer #2 has been extremely interesting. I like them using the Xenomorphs in this way. Joe Benitez’s Lady Mechanika: The Mechanical Menagerie #1 came out this week too. It definitely is a sequel series that I might have to look for to understand what is going on here. A new story with Hank Howard from Bad Idea came out this week with Hank Howard Pizza Detective: A Slice of Life #1. Energon Universe 2026 Special #1 sets up the future of the Energon Universe, including the new series MASK. Then, finally, Estuary: A Ghost Story #2 was the last book I read tonight before this post.
I was always a fan of Charles Nelson Reilly, specifically from the Match Game. I remember niot knowing what the reference of CNR was when I first got Alpocalypse. This was one of my favorite videos released for these songs.
Lyrics
Charles Nelson Reilly was a mighty man The kind of man you’d never disrespect He stood eight feet tall, wore glasses And he had a third nipple on the back of his neck He ate his own weight in coal, and excreted diamonds everyday He could throw you down a flight of stairs But you still would love him anyway Yeah, you know you’d love him anyway, oh
Charles Nelson Reilly won the Tour de France With two flat tires and a missing chain He trained a rattlesnake to do his laundry I’m telling you the man was insane He could rip out your beating heart And show it to you right before you died Everyday he’d make the host of Match Game Give him a piggyback ride Yeah, two hour piggyback ride, giddy up Gene
The ninja warrior, master of disguise He could melt your brain with his laser-beam eyes, oh yeah Oh yeah He had his own line at the DMV He made sweet, sweet love to a manatee Oh yeah Oh yeah, that was something to see, I tell ya
Charles Nelson Reilly sold his toenail clippings As a potent aphrodisiac He ran a four minute mile blindfolded With an engine block strapped to his back He could eat more frozen waffles Then any other man I know Once he fell off the Chrysler building And he barely even stubbed his toe Had a tiny little scratch on his toe Didn’t even hurt
Charles Nelson Reilly figured out cold fusion But he never ever told a soul I’ve seen the man unhinge his jaw And swallow a Volkswagen whole He’d bash your face in with a shovel If you didn’t treat him like a star You could spit at the wind, or tug at Superman’s cape But Lord knows you don’t mess around with CNR
EYG- Embrace Your Geekness 