Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #80

#80

George of the Jungle

Title: “George of the Jungle”

Written: Stan Worth and Sheldon Allman and Marc Shaiman

Album: Dare to Be Stupid

Released: 1985

Genre: TV Theme Songs

Weird Al rerecorded the theme for the 1967 cartoon George of the Jungle for his Dare to Be Stupid album. His version of the theme was included in the 1997 live-action movie of the same name. This will be one of the few songs in this top 100 that Weird Al did not write or at least contribute to himself.

Lyrics

George, George, George of the jungle
Strong as he can be
Ahhh
Watch out for that tree

George, George, George of the jungle
Lives a life that’s free
Ahhh
Watch out for that tree

When he gets in scrapes
When he makes his escapes
With the help of his friend
An ape named Ape

Then away he’ll schlep
On his elephant Shep
While Fella and Ursula
Stay in step with

George, George, George of the jungle
Friend to you and me
Ahhh
Watch out for that tree
Watch out for that (Ahhh) (Oooh) tree
George, George, George of the Jungle
Friend to you and me

Source: LyricFind

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #81

#81

Bohemian Polka

Title: “Bohemian Polka”

Written: Freddie Mercury/Al Yankovic

Album: Alapalooza

Release: 1993

Genre: Polka/Comedy

Bohemian Polka is the only polka Al ever put together for an album that was just a cover of a single song, Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen. I can remember the shock when first playing the song and seeing how the polka would not feature a group of songs from a variety of artists.

Lyrics

Is this the real life
Is this just fantasy
Caught in a landslide
No escape from reality
Open your eyes
Look up to the skies and see
I’m just a poor boy, I need no sympathy
‘Cause I’m easy come, easy go
Little high, little low
Anyway the wind blows, doesn’t really matter to me
To me

Mama, just killed a man
Put a gun against his head
Pulled my trigger, now he’s dead
Mama, life had just begun
But now I’ve gone and thrown it all away
Mama, ooo
Didn’t mean to make you cry
If I’m not back again this time tomorrow
Carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters

Too late, my time has come
Sends shivers down my spine
Body’s aching all the time
Goodbye everybody – I’ve got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth
Mama, ooo
I don’t want to die
I sometimes wish I’d never been born at all

I see a little silhouetto of a mam
Scaramouch, scaramouch, will you do the Fandango
Thunderbolt and lightning – very, very frightening me
Galileo, Galileo
Galileo, Galileo
Galileo figaro – Magnifico… Hey! Hey! Hey!
I’m just a poor boy, nobody loves me
He’s just a poor boy from a poor family
Spare him his life from this monstrosity
Easy come, easy go, will you let me go?
Bismillah! No, we will not let you go – let him go
Bismillah! We will not let you go – let him go
Bismillah! We will not let you go – let him go
Will not let you go – let him go
Will not let you go – let him go
No, no, no, no, no no no no no!

Oh mama mia, mama mia, mama mia let me go
Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me
For me

So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye
So you think you can love me and leave me to die
Oh, baby – Can’t do this to me, baby
Just gotta get out – just gotta get right outta here

Nothing really matters
Anyone can see
Nothing really matters
Nothing really matters to me Anyway the wind blows – Hey!

Source: LyricFind

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #82

#82

Taco Grande

Title: “Taco Grande”

Written: Warren / Mejia / Yankovic / Soy / Slezynger

Album: Off the Deep End

Released: 1992

Parody: “Rico Suave” by Gerardo

Style: Latin Rap/Comedy

A good example of a song that I did not remember as a parody, since the original song was so easily forgotten.

Lyrics

Taco
Grande
Taco
Grande

Yo quiero chimichangas y chile colorado
Yo tengo el dinero para un steak picado
Las flautas y tamales, siempre muy bueno
Y el chile relleno

You see, I just gotta have a tostada, carne asada
That’s right, I want the whole enchilada
My only addiction has to do with a flour tortilla
I need a quesadilla

I love to stuff my face with tacos al carbón
With my friends, or when I’m all alone
Yo tengo mucho hambre y ahora lo quiero
Un burrito ranchero

So give me something spicy and hot, now
Break out the menu, what you got, now?
Oh, would you tell the waiter I’d like to have sour cream on the side
You better make sure the beans are refried

Taco
Grande
Taco
Grande

Well, there’s not a taco big enough for a man like me
That’s why I order two or three
Let me give you a tip, just try a nacho chip
It’s really good with bean dip

I eat uno, dos, tres, cuatro burritos
Pretty soon I can’t fit in my Speedos
Well, I hope they feed us lots of chicken fajitas
And a pitcher of margaritas

Well, the combination plates all come with beans and rice
The taquitos here are very nice
Now I’m down on my knees, we need some extra tomatoes and cheese
And could you make that separate checks, please?

Taco
Grande
Taco
Grande

“Buenos noches, señor. bienvenido a Enrico’s Casa de Salsa
Tenemos muchos platos muy sabrosos
Si puedo recomendar el ardiente pollo al infierno muy delicioso
Sus ojos se quemarán, su estomago estará en fuego
Se quedarán en el baño por una semana
Entiendes lo que digo gringo estúpido tonto?”

Well, the food is coming, I can hardly wait
Now watch your fingers, careful hot plate!
What you think you’re doing with my chile con queso?
Well, if you want some, just say so

Oh boy, pico de gallo
They sure don’t make it like this in Ohio
No gracias, yo quiero jalepeños, nada más
You can toss away the hot sauce

¿Dónde están los nachos? Holy frijole!
You better get me a bowl of guacamole
¿Y usted, Eugene? Why’s your face turning green?
Don’t you like pinto bean?

You want some more cinnamon crispas?
If you don’t, hasta la vista
Just take the rest home in a doggie bag if you wanna
You can finish it mañana

Well, it’s been a pleasure, I can’t eat no more
Señor, la cuenta, por favor
If you ain’t tried real Mexican cooking, well, you oughta
Just don’t drink the water

Taco
Grande
Taco
Grande
Taco
Grande

Source: Musixmatch

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #83

#83

Theme from Rocky XIII (The Rye or the Kaiser)

Title: “Theme from Rocky XIII (The Rye or the Kaiser)”

Album: Weird Al Yankovic In 3D

Release: 1982

Written:  Jim Peterik/Frankie Sullivan/Al Yankovic

Parody: “The Eye of the Tiger” by Survivor

Style: Rock/Movie Songs

One of the more unknown Al parodies from his second major album. This is one of the early songs to show how clever Al could be with his lyrics and yet one more song that he wrote involving food.

Lyrics

Fat and weak, what a disgrace
Guess the champ got too lazy
Ain’t gonna fly now, he’s just takin’ up space
Sold his gloves, threw his eggs down the drain

But he’s no bum, he works down the street
He bought the neighborhood deli
Back on his feet, now he’s choppin’ up meat
Come inside, maybe you’ll hear him say

Try the rye or the kaiser
They’re on special tonight
If you want, you can have an appetizer
You might like our salami, and the liver’s all right
And they’d really go well with the rye
Or the kaiser

Never eats while on the job
He heard it’s good to stay hungry
But he makes a pretty mean shish kabob
Have a taste, they were made fresh today

Try the rye or the kaiser or the wheat or the white
Maybe I can suggest an appetizer
Stay away from the tuna, it smells funny tonight
But you just can’t go wrong with the rye
Or the kaiser

So today, his deli comes first
Still he dreams of his past days of glory
Goes in the back and beats up on the liverwurst
All the while you can still hear him say

It’s the rye or the kaiser, it’s the thrill of one bite
Let me please be your catering advisor
If you want substitutions, I won’t put up a fight
You can have your roast beef on the rye
Or the kaiser

The rye or the kaiser

The rye or the kaiser

The rye or the kaiser

Source: Musixmatch

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #84

#84

The White Stuff

Title: “The White Stuff”

Album: Off the Deep End

Release: 1992

Parody: “You Got It (The Right Stuff)” by New Kids on the Block. 

Written: Maurice Starr/Al Yankovic

Style: Pop/Boy Band

There have been plenty of original songs that Weird Al parodied that I have either did not like or did not know. You Got It (The Right Stuff) is a perfect example of a song that I disliked that Weird Al made better with his parody.

And what can be a better topic for a song than the white stuff in an Oreo cookie?

Lyrics

The white stuff
The white stuff

The first one was a sweet one
Second one was a blast
Soon I finished off the bag, ate ’em up real fast
You can see ’em in my teeth
Tell it when I talk
Had so many my pancreas just went into shock

I love the white stuff, baby
In the middle of an Oreo
I love the white stuff, baby
It’s the most delicious thing I know

I’ve had a zillion or two
In my life, they’re so right
My teeth are all rotted clear through
But who cares? What else am I supposed to do?

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Oreo
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the white stuff
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Oreo
What’s in the middle? The white stuff

The first time that I tried it
Got a big sugar buzz
Nothing gets me high as that sandwhich cookie does
But I love the filling most
I rub it on my roast
Mix it in with my coffee and spread it on my toast

I love the white stuff, baby
In the middle of an Oreo
I love the white stuff, baby
Take some with me everywhere I go

Might get a pimple or two
Well, so what? It’s all right
Now Twinkies and Ding Dongs won’t do
All I need… You know what it is

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Oreo
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the white stuff
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Oreo
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the white stuff
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Oreo
What’s in the middle? The white stuff

Source: Musixmatch

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #85

#85

Money for Nothing/Beverly Hillbillies*

Title: “Money for Nothing/Beverly Hillbillies*”

Written: Mark Knopfler/Paul Henning/Al Yankovic/Gordon Matthew Sumner

Album: UHF

Released: 1989

Parody: Money for Nothing by Dire Straits

Style: hard rock/synch

Fact: Dire Straits members Mark Knopfler (guitar) and Guy Fletcher (synthesizer) played on the track.

Coming from the UHF Soundtrack, this song was another time when Al Yankovic parodied a TV with the song that he was writing. Mark Knopfler said that Al could do the parody if he could play on the track.

Lyrics

Beverly

Beverly Hillbillies

Huh, now lookie here, people
Listen to my story
A little story ’bout a man named Jed
You know something, that poor mountaineer
They say he barely kept his family fed

Now, let me tell you, one day he was shootin’
Old Jed was shootin’ at some food
When all of a sudden right up from the ground, there
Well, there came a bubblin’ crude

Oil that is, well, maybe you call it
Black gold or Texas tea
He gonna move next to Mr. Drysdale
And be a Beverly Hillbilly

Before you know it, all the kinfolk are a-sayin’
Yeah, buddy, move away from there
That little Clampett got his own cement pond
That little Clampett, he’s a millionaire

Now, everyone said Californie
Is the place that you oughta be
We got to load up this here truck now
We got to move to Beverly
Hills, that is

Swimming pools
Move-a-move-a-movie stars
Huh
Look at that, look at that

Beverly, Beverly, Beverly Hillbillies
Y’all come back now, hear?
Beverly, Beverly, Beverly Hillbillies
Beverly, Beverly, Beverly Hillbillies
Beverly, Beverly, Beverly Hillbillies

Source: Musixmatch

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #86

#86

Polka on 45

Title: “Polka on 45”

Album: In 3D

Genre: Polka medley

Release: 1984

Parody: The idea was a style parody of “Stars on 45” from 1918.

Songs in polka: “Jocko Homo,” “Smoke on the Water,” “Sex (I’m A…),” “Hey Jude,” “L.A. Woman,” “In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida,” “Hey Joe,” “Burning Down the House,” “Hot Blooded,” “Bubbles in the Wine,” “Every Breath You Take,” “Should I Stay or Should I Go,” “Jumpin’ Jack Flash,” “My Generation.”

Polka on 45 was the first polka medley on a long list of polkas done by Weird Al. This is the second polka to appear in the Top 100, following #99 The Hot Rocks Polka. The polka medleys are some of my favorite things done by Al and they only continued to get better.

Lyrics

They tell us that we lost our tails
Evolving up from little snails
I say it’s all just wind and sails
Are we not men? We are Devo
Are we not men? D-E-V-O

Smoke on the water
And fire in the sky
Smoke on the water

I’m a boy
(I’m a man) well, I’m your mother
(I’m a man) I’m a one-night stand
(I’m a man) am I bi?
(I’m a man) I’m your slave
(I’m a man) I’m a little girl when we make love together

Hey, hey, hey!
Jude, don’t make it bad
Take a sad song and make it better
Remember to let her into your heart
Then you can start to make it
Better, better, better, better, better, better, yeah

L.A. woman
You’re my woman
Got my mojo risin’
Mr. Mojo Risin’
Hey!

In-a-gadda-da-vida, honey
Don’t you know that I love you?
In-a-gadda-da-vida, baby
Don’t you know that I’ll always be true?

Hey, Joe, where you goin’ with that gun in your hand?
Hey, Joe, where you goin’ with that gun in your hand?
Gonna shoot my old lady
Caught her messin’ ’round with another man

Yodel-ay-ee, yodel-ay-he-hoo, yodel-ay-ee, yodel-ay-he-hoo
Yodel-ay-ee, yodel-ay-he-hoo, yodel-ay he-hoo
Yodel-ay-ee, yodel-ay-he-hoo, yodel-ay-ee, yodel-ay-he-hoo
I’m an ordinary guy burnin’ down the house

I’m hot-blooded, check it and see
Got a fever of a 103
Come on, baby, do you do more than dance?
I’m hot-blooded, hot-blooded

Every breath you take
Every move you make
Every bond you break, every step you take
I’ll be watchin’ you

Darling, you gotta let me know
Should I stay or should I go?
If you say that you are mine
I’ll be here ’til the end of time
But you gotta let me know, whoa, whoa, whoa
Should I stay or should I go?

But it’s all right now, in fact, it’s a gas
But it’s all right, Jumpin’ Jack Flash, it’s a gas, gas, gas

People try to put us down (talkin’ ’bout my generation)
Just because we get around (talkin’ ’bout my generation)
Things they do look awful c-c-cold (talkin’ ’bout my generation)
Hope I die before I get old (talkin’ ’bout my generation)
This is my generation (talkin’ ’bout my generation)
This is my generation, baby (talkin’ ’bout my generation)
(Talkin’ ’bout my generation)
My, my, my, my, my, my generation (my generation)
Well, I’m talkin’ ’bout my g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-generation
Hey!

Source: Musixmatch

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #87

#87

Lame Claim to Fame

Title: “Lame Claim to Fame”

Album: Mandatory Fun

Release: 2014

Written: Al Yankovic

Style Parody: Southern Culture on the Skids

Lyrics

One time I was in the checkout line
Behind Steven Seagal
Once I’m pretty sure Mr. Jonah Hill
Was in the very next bathroom stall
My best friend’s brother
Well, he was an extra in Wayne’s World 2
My neighbour’s baby sitter
Dated three of the guys in Motley Crue
I swear Jack Nicholson
Looked right at me at a Laker’s game

I got a lame
Lame claim to fame

Check it out, I bought a second hand toaster
From a guy who says he knows Brad Pitt
I got me an email from the prince of Nigeria
Well, he sure sounded legit
My sister used to take piano lessons
From the second cousin of Ralph Nader
Last year I threw up in an elevator
Next to Christian Slater
Well guess what, my birthday and Kim Kardashian’s
Are exactly the same

I got a lame
Lame claim to fame
A really lame
Lame claim to fame

Once at a party, my dentist accidentally
Sneezed on Russell Crowe
I posted first in the comments
On a YouTube video
I tried to sit by Steve Buscemi
But he told me this seat’s taken
I know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy
Who know a guy who knows a guy who know Kevin Bacon

I had a car that used to belong
To Cuba Gooding Jr.’s uncle
A friend of mine in high school
Had jury duty with Art Garfunkel
One time I was staying in the same hotel
As Zooey Deschanel
I used the same napkin dispenser
As Steve Carell at a Taco Bell
Well I don’t mean to brag but
Paul Giamatti’s plumber knows me by name

I got a lame
Lame claim to fame
A really lame
Lame claim to fame
I’m talking lame
Lame claim to fame
A really really really lame
Lame claim to fame

Ow, let’s get lame boys

Source: LyricFind

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #88

#88

Mr. Popeil

Title: “Mr. Popeil”

Album: Weird Al Yankovic In 3D

Written: Al Yankovic

Released: 1984

Style Pastiche: B-52s

Fact: Background vocals were provided by Lisa Popeil, the daughter of Sam Popeil, who this song was about.

Lyrics

I need a vegematic!
I need a pocket fisherman!
I need a handy appliance
That’ll scramble an egg while it’s still inside its shell!
(Operators are standing by.
How does that make you feel?)
Help me.
Mr. Popeil!

I wanna shine some pennies!
I wanna mend some leather!
I wanna Krazy-glue my head to the bottom of a big steel girder!
(Please, no c.o.d.’s.
Don’t miss out on this deal.)
Ah, help me.
Mr. Popeil!

Help me.
Mr. Popeil!
Mr. Popeil!
Mr. Popeil!

It slices. it dices.
Look at that tomato!
You could even cut a tin can with it,
But you wouldn’t want to!

Mr. Popeil, I’m in trouble.
Need your assistance on the double.
Oh no! now how am I gonna make
My old vinyl car top look like new?
Mr. Popeil!
Tell me, what am I s’posed to do?

Mr. Popeil!
Mr. Popeil!

But wait, there’s more!
It’s not sold in any store!
(Now how much would you pay?)
Don’t answer yet,
Just look what else you get!
(Now how much would you pay?)
If you order today,
You get a ginsu knife and a smokeless ashtray!
(Now how much would you pay?)
Now how much would you pay?
Mr. Popeil, Mr. Popeil.
Mr. Popeil, Mr. Popeil.
Mr. Popeil, Mr. Popeil.
Mr. Popeil, Mr. Popeil.

Make me buy a garden weasel!
Make me buy a bamboo steamer!
Make me take advantage
Of this amazing tv offer!
(Call our toll-free number,
We’ll make you such a deal.)
Aw, help me!
Mr. Popeil. I want it!
(Mr. Popeil.) well, I need it!
(Mr. Popeil.) I got to got to got to have it!
Mr. Popeil!
Mr. Popeil!
Hey!

Source: LyricFind

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #89

#89

You Don’t Love Me Anymore

Title: “You Don’t Love Me Anymore”

Written: Al Yankovic

Album: Off the Deep End

Release: 1992

Style: Acoustic ballad/Comedy

Style Parody: Soft rock break-up songs -inspired by Nicolette Larson’s “Still You Linger On”

Fact: The music video to the song is a parody of “More Than Words” by Extreme.

Lyrics

We’ve been together for so very long
But now things are changing, oh I wonder what’s wrong?
Seems you don’t want me around
The passion is gone and the flame’s died down

I guess I lost a little bit of self-esteem
That time that you made it with the whole hockey team
You used to think I was nice
Now you tell all your friends that I’m the Antichrist

Oh, why did you disconnect the brakes on my car?
That kind of thing is hard to ignore
Got a funny feeling you don’t love me anymore

I knew that we were having problems when
You put those piranhas in my bathtub again
You’re still the light of my life
Oh darling, I’m beggin’, won’t you put down that knife?

You know, I even think it’s kinda cute the way
You poison my coffee just a little each day
I still remember the way that you laughed
When you pushed me down the elevator shaft

Oh, if you don’t mind me asking, what’s this poisonous cobra
Doing in my underwear drawer?
Sometime I get to thinking you don’t love me any more

You slammed my face down on the barbecue grill
Now my scars are all healing, but my heart never will
You set my house on fire
You pulled out my chest hairs with an old pair of pliers

Oh, you think I’m ugly and you say I’m cheap
You shaved off my eyebrows while I was asleep
You drilled a hole in my head
Then you dumped me in a drainage ditch and left me for dead

Oh, you know this really isn’t like you at all
You never acted this way before
Honey, something tells me you don’t love me any more, oh no no
Got a funny feeling you don’t love me anymore

Source: LyricFind

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #90

#90

Achy Breaky Song

Title: “Achy Breaky Heart”

Written: Don Von Tress/Al Yankovic

Album: Alapalooza

Style: Country/Comedy

Parody: “Achy Breaky Heart” by Billy Ray Cyrus

This is a song that is famously about music that bugs some people. There are mentions of Donny and Marie, Barry Manilow, The Bee Gees etc. But above them all was the Achy Breaky Heart by Billy Ray Cyrus which inspired the whole song.

Lyrics

You can torture me
With Donnie & Marie
You can play some Barry Manilow
Or you can play some schlock
Like New Kids On The Block
Or any Village People song you know
Or play Vanilla Ice
Hey, you can play him twice
And you can play the Bee Gees any day
But Mr. DJ, please
I’m beggin’ on my knees
I just can’t take no more of Billy Ray

Don’t play that song
That “Achy Breaky” song
The most annoying song I know
And if you play that song
That “Achy Breaky” song
I might blow up my radio, ooo…

You can clear the room
By playind Debbie Boon
Or crank your Abba records until dawn
Oh, I can even hear
Slim Whitman or Zamfir
Don’t mind a Yoko Ono marathon
Or play some Tiffany
On 8-track or CD
Or scrape your fingernails across the board
Or tie me to a chair
And kick me down the stairs
Just please don’t play that stupid song no more

Don’t play that song
That “Achy Breaky” song
You know I hate that song a bunch
And if you play that song
That nauseating song
It might just make me lose my lunch, oh-

Don’t play that song
That “Achy Breaky” song
I think it’s driving me insane
Oh, please don’t play that song
That irritating song
I’d rather have a pitchfork in my brain

Don’t play that song
That “Achy Breaky” song
The most annoying song I know
And if you play that song
That “Achy Breaky” song
I might blow up my radio, ooo-woo

Source: Musixmatch

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #91

#91

Isle Thing

Title: “Isle Thing”

Written: Young MC/Matt Dike/Michael Ross/Al Yankovic

Album: UHF

Released: 1989

Genre: rap/comedy

Parody: “Wild Thing” by Tone Loc (Weird Al’s first parody of a rap song)

Weird Al has an affinity for classic TV shows, as he has done songs about the Beverly Hillbillies and The Brady Bunch among others. This song is a spoof on the TV show Gilligan’s Island.

Lyrics

Met this fine young thing
At the local Circle K
She made a date for a half past eight
And I said, “What the hey?”

So I journeyed to her crib
And I let myself inside
That chick was slouched down on the couch
I think her brain was fried

Couldn’t figure it out
She wouldn’t even look at me
Then I saw her eyes, she was hypnotized
Cold glued to her TV

“Hey, what’s your problem baby doll
Let’s have a little fling”
She said, “Hey you fool, now just be cool
I’m watchin’ that Gilligan’s Isle thing”

Isle thing
Isle thing

Watchin’ all night
Musta been a marathon
I was bummin’, those shows kept comin’
Here’s what was goin’ on

These Castaways were stranded
On this island out at the sea
One of them called Gilligan
So let’s name him after me

He’d mess up every rescue
Man, that first mate was illin’
If I was one of those Castaways
I think I’d probably kill him

Just about that time
Telephone began to ring
She said, “Just let it, my machine’ll get
We’re watchin’ the Gilligan’s Isle thing

Isle thing
She loves that Gilligan’s Isle thing
Isle thing
Please, baby, baby, please

I like the professor
He always saves their butts
He could build a nuclear reactor
From a clouple’ of coconuts

She said, “That guy’s a genius”
I shook my head and laughed
I said, “If he’s so fly, they tell me why
He couldn’t build a lousy raft”

And while we’re on the subject
I’ll tell you one thing for sure
Those homeboys brought an awful lot
For just a three hour tour

Then her mom came in the room
It was kind of embarrasing
She said, “Hey you two, I was once like you
And I loved that Gilligan’s Isle thing”

Isle thing
She’d watch that Gilligan’s Isle thing
Please, baby, baby, please

Skipper’s in a hammock
He’s looking kinda fat
He’d throw a fit and then he’d hit
Old Gilligan with his hat

Mrs. Hal had it goin’ on
But Mr. Hal was meaner
Ginger and Mary Anne could’ve used
Some funky cold medina

I was really diggin’ this show
I didn’t know what to do
It kinda looked like I was hooked
Now I’m an addict too

I know each episode by heart
Now I’m the rerun king
And on every date, we both stay up late
And we watch the Gilligan’s Isle thing

Isle thing
Hasta la vista, little buddy
Gilligan’s Isle thing (isle thing)

Source: Musixmatch

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #92

#92

Trapped in the Drive Thru

Title: “Trapped in the Drive Thru”

Written: R Kelly/Jimmy Page/Robert Plant/John Paul Jones/Al Yankovic

Album: Straight Outta Lynwood

Released: 2006

Style: parody of “Trapped in the Closet” by R Kelly

Weird Al has had several long form songs at the end of some of his albums including Genius in France and Albuquerque, and Trapped in the Drive Thru is one of these. It is a parody, unlike the other long songs. This, to date, is the longest parody Al has ever recorded.

It might be higher on a lot of lists because of how relatable the situation is. Practically everybody has gone through this sort of moment, trying to decide on dinner.

Lyrics

Seven o’clock in the evening
Watchin something stupid on TV
I’m zoned out on the sofa
When my wife comes in the room and sees me
And she says, “Is this Behind the Music with Lynyrd Skynyrd?”
And I say, “I don’t know…”
Say, “It’s gettin’ late, what you wanna do for dinner?”
She says, “I kinda had a big lunch so I’m not super hungry.”
I said, “Well, you know, baby, I’m not starvin’ either but I could eat…”
She said, “So what do you have in mind?”
I said, “I don’t know, what about you?”
She said, “I don’t care… if you’re hungry, let’s eat.”
I said, “That’s what we’re gonna do!
But first you gotta tell me what it is you’re hungry for?”
And she says, “Let me think, what’s left in our refrigerator?”
I said, “Well, there’s tuna, I know.”
She said, “That went bad a week ago!”
I said, “Is the chili okay?”
She said, “You finished that yesterday!”
I hopped up and I said
“I don’t know. Do you want to get something delivered?”
She’s like, “Why would I want to eat liver? I don’t even like liver!”
I’m like, “No, I said ‘delivered’.”
She’s like, “I heard you say ‘liver’!”
I’m like, “I should know what I said…”
She’s like, “Whatever! I just don’t want any liver!”

Well, I was gonna say something
But my cell phone started to ring
Now who could be callin’ me?
Well, I checked my caller ID
It was just cousin Larry
Callin’ for the third time today
My wife said, “Let it go to voicemail.”
I said, “Okay.”
“Where were we? Oh, dinner, right! So what do you want to do?”
She said, “Why don’t you whip up somethin’ in the kitchen?”
“Yeah, ” I said, “why don’t you?”
And then she said, “Baby, can’t we just go out to dinner, please?”
I says, “No”
She says, “Yes”
I says, “No”
She says, “Yes”
I says, “No”
She says, “Yes… Oh, here’s your keys”
I step a little bit closer
Say, “Okay, where ya want to go?”
She says, “How about The Ivy?”
I said, “Yeah, well, I don’t know
I don’t feel like gettin’ all dressed up
And eatin’ expensive food”
She’s says, “Olive Garden?”
I say, “Nah, I’m not in the mood
And Burrito King would make me gassy
There’s no doubt”
She says, “Just forget about it”
I said, “No, I swear I’m gonna take you out!”
Then I get an idea
I say, “I know what we’ll do!”
She says, “What?”
I say, “Guess!”
She says “What?”
I say, “We’re goin’ to the drive-thru!”

So we head out the front door
Open the garage door
Then I open the car doors
And we get in those car doors
Put my key in the ignition
And then I turn it sideways
Then we fasten our seat belts
As we pull out the driveway
Then we drive to the drive-thru
Heading off to the drive-thru
We’re approaching the drive-thru
Getting close to the drive-thru
Almost there at the drive-thru
Now we’re here at the drive-thru
Here in line at the drive-thru
Did I mention the drive-thru?

Well, here we are
In the drive-thru line, me and her
Cars in front of us, cars in back of us
All just waiting to order
There’s some idiot in a Volvo
With his brights on behind me
I lean out the window and scream
“Hey, what you trying to do, blind me?”
My wife says, “Maybe we should park, we could just go eat inside.”
I said, “I’m wearin’ bunny slippers
So I ain’t leavin’ this ride…”
Now a woman on a speaker box
Is sayin’, “Can I take your order, please?”
I said, “Yes indeed, you certainly can
We’d like two hamburgers with onions and cheese.”
Then my wife says “Baby, hold on, I’ve changed my mind!
I think I’m gonna have a chicken sandwich instead this time”
I said, “You always get a cheeseburger!”
She says, “That’s not what I’m hungry for.”
I put my head in my hands and scream
“I don’t know who you are anymore!”
The voice on the speaker says
“I don’t have all day.”
I said, “Then take our order and we’ll be on our way!
I wanna get a chicken sandwich and I want a cheeseburger too”
She’s like, “You want onions on that?”
I’m like, “Yeah, I already said that I do
Plus we need curly fries
And don’t you dare forget it!
And two medium root beers
No, just one, we’ll split it.”
Then I said “I’m guessin’ that you’re probably not too bright
So read me back my order
Let’s make sure you got it right.”
She says “One – you want a chicken sandwich
Two – you want a cheeseburger
Three – curly fries, and a large root beer”
“Stop! Don’t go no further!
I never ordered a large root beer
I said medium, not large!”
Then she says, “We’re havin’ a special
I supersized you at no charge.”
“Oh.” And that’s all
I could say, was “Oh.”
And she says, “Now there is somethin’ else
That I really think you should know
You can have unlimited refills
For just a quarter more.”
I say “Great, except we’re in the drive-thru, so what would I want that for?”
Then she says, “Wait a minute
Your voice sounds so familiar… hey, is this Paul?
And my wife is all like “No, that ain’t Paul
Now tell me, who’s this Paul?”
She says, “Oh, he’s just some guy
Who goes to school with me
I sat behind him last year
And I copied off of him in Geometry.”
I said, “I know a guy named Paul
He used to be my plumber
He was prematurely bald
And he moved to Pittsburgh last summer
He also had bladder problems
And a really bad infection on his toe.”
And she says, “Mister, please, you can stop right there
That’s way more than I needed to know!”
And then we both were quiet
And things got real intense
Then she says, “Next window, please
That’ll be five dollars and eighty two cents!”
So we inched ahead in line
Movin’ painfully slow
I got a little bored
So I turned on the radio

Click, turned it off
Because my wife was getting a headache
So we both just sat there quietly for her sake
Then I looked at her
And she looked back at me
And I said, “Um, I think you have somethin’ in your teeth.”
She turned away from me
And then turned back and said, “Did I get it?”
I said, “Yeah, well, I mean, most of it
But hey, ya know, don’t sweat it.”
Then she said, “How about now?”
I said, “Yeah, almost
There’s still a little bit there, but don’t worry
It’s probably just a piece of toast.”
Now we’re at the pay window
Or whatever you call it
Put my hand in my pocket
I can’t believe there’s no wallet!

And the lady at the window’s like
“Well, well, well, that’ll be five eighty-two.”
I turn around to my wife, and say
“How much have you got on you?”
She just rolls her eyes and says
“I’ll pay for this, I guess”
So she reaches into her purse
And busts out the American Express
I hand it to the lady
And she says “Oh dear, It’s gotta be cash only
We don’t take credit cards here.”
I took back the card and said
“Gee, really? Well, that sucks.”
And that’s when I found out
My wife was only carryin’ three bucks
I said, “I thought you were gonna hit the ATM today”
She says, “I never got around to it, so where’s your wallet anyway?”
And I said, “Never mind, just help me to find some change…”
Now the lady at the window
Is lookin’ at me kind of strange
And she says, “Mister, please, we gotta move this line along”
I said, “Now, hold your stinkin’ horses, lady!
We won’t be long.”
So I looked around inside the glove-box
And checked the mat beneath my feet
I found a nickel in an ashtray
And a couple pennies and a dime in the space between the seats
Before long I had a little pile of coins of every sort
The lady counts it up and says
“You’re still about a dollar short”
And now my woman’s got this weird look
Frozen on her face
She screams, “You know, I wasn’t even really hungry in the first place!”
And so I turned around
To the cashier again
I shrugged and said: “Okay, forget the chicken sandwich then”
So I pick up my change
Pick up my receipt
And I drive to the pickup window
Man, I just can’t wait to eat
And now we see this acne-ridden kid about sixteen
Wearin’ a dorky nametag that says
“Hello, my name is Eugene.”
And he hands me a paper bag
I look him in the eyes
And I say to him, “Hey, Eugene, could I get some ketchup for my fries?”
Well, he looks at me
And I look at him
And he looks at me
And I look at him
And he looks it me
And I look at him
And he says, “I’m sorry!
What did you want again?”
I say “Ketchup!”
And he says, “Oh yeah, that’s right
I just spaced out there for a second
I’m really kind of burnt tonight.”
And then he hands me the ketchup
And now we’re finally drivin’ away
And the food is drivin’ me mad
With its intoxicating bouquet
I’m starvin’ to death
By the time we pull up at the traffic light
I say, “Baby, gimme that burger
I just gotta have a bite!”
So she reaches in the bag
And pulls out the burger
And she hands me the burger
And I pick up the burger
And then I unwrap the paper
I bite into those buns
And I just can’t believe it
They forgot the onion!

Source: Musixmatch

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #93

#93

Generic Blues

Title: Generic Blues

Album: UHF

Release: 1989

Written: Al Yankovic

Style: Blues; typical 12-bar, slow-tempo structure, and harmonica solos.

Another one of those original songs that sneaks under the radar. I do love this song. It is such a funny song with a parody of the style of Blues.

Lyrics

I woke up this morning
Then I went back to bed
Said I woke up this morning
Then I went right back to bed
Got a funny kind of feelin’ like I got broken glass in my underwear
And a herd of wild pigs is trying to chew off my head
You know what I’m sayin’

Well I ain’t got not money
I’m just walkin’ down the road
Said I ain’t got no money, honey
So I’m just walking down this lonely old road
Well, I wish I could get me some money
But I forgot my automated teller code

I was born in a paper sack in the bottom of a sewer
I had to eat dirt clods for breakfast, my family was so poor
My daddy was a waitress, my mama sold bathroom tiles
My brothers and sisters all hated me ’cause I was an only child

I got the blues so bad, woo
Kinda wish I was dead
Maybe I’ll blow my brains out mama
Or maybe I’ll, yeah maybe I’ll just go bowlin’ instead

I’m just a no good, scum sucking, nose picking, boot licking,
Sniveling, groveling, worthless hunk of slime

Nothing but a low-down beer bellied, bone headed, pigeon toed,
Turkey necked, weasel faced, worthless hunk of slime

Guess I pretty low self image
Maybe it’s a chemical imbalance or something, I
I should probably go and see a doctor about it when I’ve got the time
Make it talk
Aw, make it talk, son, make it talk
OK, now make it shut up

Plagues and famine and pestilence always seem to get me down
I always feel so miserable whenever I’m around
I wish somebody would come along, stick a pitchfork through my brain
I’d flush myself right down the toilet, but I’d just clog up the drain

I got the blues so bad
Kinda wish I was dead
Maybe I’ll blow my brains out mama
Or maybe I’ll go bowling
Or I just might go bowling
Maybe I’ll just rent some shoes and go bowling
Maybe I’ll join a league, enter a tournament, put on a stupid looking
Shirt and go bowling instead
Yeah

Source: LyricFind

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #94

#94

Truck Drivin’ Song

Title: “Truck Drivin’ Song”

Written: Al Yankovic

Album: Running With Scissors

Released: 1999

Parody style: Country Music/truck songs

This is one of those secretively funny original songs at the end of the album that don’t get as much attention as some of the bigger parodies or style pastiches. Yet, it is really funny, setting up the image of a big, old truck driver in his dresses and with his makeup.

Lyrics

Lyrics

I’m drivin’ a truck
Drivin’ a big ol’ truck
Pedal to the metal, hope I don’t run out of luck
Rollin’ down the highway until the break of dawn
Drivin’ a truck with my high heels on

My diesel rig is northward bound
It’s time to put that hammer down
Just watchin’ as the miles go flyin’ by
I’m ridin’ twenty tons of steel
But it’s sure hard to hold the wheel
While I’m still waiting for my nails to dry

Oh, I always gotta check my lipstick in that rear view mirror
And my pink angora sweater fits so tight
I’m jammin’ gears and haulin’ freight
Well, I sure hope my seams are straight
Lord, don’t let my mascara run tonight

Because I’m drivin’ a truck
Drivin’ a big ol’ truck
Smokey’s on my tail and my accelerator’s stuck
Got these eighteen wheels a-rollin until the break of dawn
Drivin’ a truck with my high heels on

Oh, I don’t mind when my crotchless panties creep right up on me
And my nipple rings don’t bother me too much
But when I hit those big speed bumps
My darling little rhinestone pumps
Keep slippin’ off the mother-lovin’ clutch

But still I’m drivin’ a truck
Drivin’ a big ol’ truck
Headin’ down the interstate, just tryin’ to make buck
Wearin’ feather boas with sequins and chiffon
While I’m drivin’ a truck with my high heels on

I’m drivin’ a truck
Drivin’ a truck
Got a load to carry and some eyebrows left to pluck
And I’m late for my appointment down at the hair salon
So I’ll be drivin’ a truck with my high heels on

Source: LyricFind