Style: This is a style parody of Bob Marley and other reggae music
One of the wonderful hidden gems on the In 3D album. Buy Me a Condo satires the American lifestyle.
Lyrics
Gonna buy me a condo Gonna buy me a Cuisinart Get a wall-to-wall carpeting Get a wallet full ‘o credit cards I gonna buy me a condo, never have to mow de lawn I gonna get me da T-shirt wit’ de alligator on
Wo, used to live in Jamaica But I don’t live dere no more Had to change me lifestyle Do t’ings I never done before So now I’m just a lonely Rastaman Living in dis American town Gonna sell me Bob Marley records Gonna get me some Jackson Browne
I gonna buy me a condo Gonna buy me a Cuisinart Get a wall-to-wall carpeting And get a wallet full ‘o credit cards, eh I gonna buy me a condo, never have to mow de lawn I gonna get me da T-shirt wit’ de alligator on
Wo, gonna cut off me dreadlocks T’row away all me ganja I’ll have a Tupperware party Maybe join me a health spa I’ll get a bowl of plastic fruits And a microwave oven, too Then I’ll have the neighbors over for a weenie barbecue
Gonna buy me a condo Gonna buy me a Cuisinart Get a wall-to-wall carpeting Get a wallet full ‘o credit cards, oh I gonna buy me a condo, never have to mow de lawn I get a funny little T-shirt wit’ de alligator on
Ain’t gonna work in de field no more Gonna be Amway distributor Ain’t gonna work in de field no more (no, no) Gonna be Amway distributor
Ja, ja, ja, life is so very hard I need a (ja) ja, ja, ja jacuzzi in me back yard
Oh, I gonna buy me a condo Gonna buy me a Cuisinart Get a wall-to-wall carpeting Get a wallet full ‘o credit cards, eh I gonna buy me a condo, never have to mow de lawn I gonna get me da T-shirt wit’ de alligator on
What’d you say?
I gonna buy me a condo I gonna buy me a Cuisinart Get a wall-to-wall carpeting Get a wallet full ‘o credit cards, oh I gonna buy me a condo, never have to mow de lawn I gonna get me da T-shirt wit’ de alligator on
What’d you say?
I gonna buy me a condo Gonna buy me a Cuisinart Get a wall-to-wall carpeting And get a wallet full ‘o credit cards, oh I gonna buy me a condo, never have to mow de lawn I gonna get me da T-shirt wit’ de alligator on
Fact: Doors keyboardist played keyboards on the studio recording of the song.
Album: Alpocalypse
This song was released before the album among a group of songs called Internet Leaks, which included four new videos.
The song is an amazing style parody of The Doors. So much so that you might think it is a stright up parody of a specific song.
Lyrics
Whoa, yeah!
You’ve got a ’65 Chevy Malibu With automatic drive A custom paint job, too
I’ll trade you for my old wheelbarrow And a slightly used sombrero And I’ll even throw in a stapler, if you insist
Craigslist! I’m on Craiglist, baby, come on! Yeah
Well, we shared a quick glance Saturday at the mall I never took a chance Never approached you at all
You were a blonde half-Asian with a bad case of gas I was wearin’ red Speedos and a hockey mask Come on, let’s find that love connection that we missed
On Craigslist! Yeah, Craigslist, come on! I’m on Craigslist Oh, baby, maybe you are too! Be bom ba chomb cadonk bin bam boo!
An open letter to the snotty barista At the Coffee Bean on San Vacente Boulevard: I know there were twenty people behind me in line But I was on a cell phone call with my mother Didn’t you see me hold up my index finger? That means, “I’ll order my soy decaf hazelnut latte in just a couple minutes” So, what’s with the attitude, lady? No tip for you!
Got a trash can of Styrofoam peanuts You can have ’em for free You can drop by on the weekend And pick ’em up from me But the trash can ain’t part of the deal Only givin’ you the peanuts Get real! Don’t have no Hefty bag, so bring your own Don’t bug me with questions on the phone Don’t ask for help, don’t waste my time And don’t complain, ’cause they won’t cost you a dime Just ask yourself: Do you want my Styrofoam peanuts? You can have my Styrofoam peanuts Do you want my Styrofoam peanuts? You can have them all
They’re on Craigslist, yeah! Craigslist! Ow, baby, come on! I’m on Craigslist, Craigslist, Craigslist! I’m on Craigslist, Craigslist, Craigslist, now
Parody: “Got My Mind Set On You” by George Harrison (Originally recorded by James Ray in 1962)
Album: Even Worse
Released: 1988
The first parody in the Top 100 is a parody of George Harrison’s big hit in 1987, Got My Mind Set on You. I am a big Beatles fan so the song by Harrison was a personal favorite and Al’s version was very funny.
Lyrics
This song is just six words long This song is just six words long This song is just six words long This song is just six words long
Couldn’t think of any lyrics No I never wrote the lyrics So I’ll just sing any old lyrics That come to mind, child
You really need words Whole lotta rhyming words You gotta rhyme so many words, mm-mm To do it, to do it, to do it, to do it To do it, to do it right, child
This song is just six words long This song is just six words long This song is just six words long This song is just six words long
I know that you’re probably sore ‘Cause I didn’t write any more I just didn’t get to complete it So that’s why I gotta repeat it
This song is just six words long (six words long) This song is just six words long (six words long)
Oh I make a lotta money They pay me a ton of money They’re payin’ me plenty of money To sing this song, child
I gotta fill time Three minutes worth of time Oh, how will I fill so much time, mm-mm I’ll throw in a solo, a solo, a solo A solo, a solo here
This song is just six words long This song is just six words long This song is just six words long This song is just six words long
This song’s got nothin’ to say But I’m recording it anyway I know if I put my mind to it I know I could find a good rhyme here
Oh, you gotta have-a music You need really catchy music This song has got plenty of music But just six words, child
And so I’ll sing’ em over And over and over and over And over and over and over, mm-mm And over and over and over And over and over and over again
Six words long, six words long Six words long, six words long Six words long, six words long
This song is just six words long It’s just six words long
Jackson Park Express is one of the longer songs Weird Al has done. It runs 9 minutes and 4 seconds. It is an epic love story between two people who see each other on a bus for the first time. The romance lasts until the woman gets off the bus, without ever speaking to the man.
Ah, love.
Lyrics
Tuesday morning, 8:15 I was riding to work on the Jackson Park Express Seemed like any other day Then my whole world changed In a way I never could have guessed ‘Cause she walked in Took the seat right across the aisle I knew we had a special connection The second I saw her smile
She smiled as if to say “Hello, haven’t seen you on this bus before” I gave her a look that said “Huh, life is funny, you never know what’s in store By the way, your hair is beautiful I bet it smells like raisins”
She looked at me in a way that asked “Did you have a nose job or something? I’m only asking, cause your nose looks slightly better Than the rest of your face” I arched my eyebrow, ever so slightly Which was my way of asking “Do you want my old Hewlett-Packard printer? It still works, kinda And I got a bunch of ink cartridges left”
Then, she let out a long sigh Which, I took to mean, “Uh” “Mama, what is that deodorant you’re wearing? It’s intoxicating Why don’t we drive out to the country sometime? And collect deer ticks in a zip-lock baggie”, oh yeah
I gave her a penetrating stare Which could only mean “You are my answer, my answer to everything Which is why, I’ll probably do very poorly On the written part of my driver’s test”
Yes, it all happened On the Jackson Park Express On the Jackson Park Express On the Jackson Park Express On the Jackson Park Express
I knew she was starting to fall for me ‘Cause she crinkled her nose, which unmistakably meant “Baby, lets wear each other’s clothes And speak in a thick German accent And, maybe someday we can own and operate Our own mobile pet-grooming service” I couldn’t hold back my feelings I gave her a look, that said “I would make any sacrifice for your love Goat, chicken, whatever I could never hold you close enough Let’s have our bodies surgically grafted together Oh, surgically grafted together”
She picked up a newspaper, and started reading to herself Which I’m sure, was a way of telling me “When you’re cold, I will warm you When you’re shivering, I will hold you When your nauseous, I will give you Pepto-Bismol every hour For as long as the symptoms persist” Oh, I, I never, ever want to see you cry So, please let me cauterize your tear ducts with an arc welder Then, I glanced down, at her shirt, for a second In a way that clearly implied “I like your boobs”
Yes, it all happened On the Jackson Park Express On the Jackson Park Express On the Jackson Park Express On the Jackson Park Express
I cleared my throat quietly, and then, I looked away And I’m sure it was obvious to her, just what I was trying to say I was trying to say, “Hey I’d like to make a wall-sized mural out of all the dead skin cells That you slough off while you sleep at night” Whoa-o-Oh, “I’d like to rip you wide open And french-kiss every single one of your internal organs Oh, I’d like to remove all your skin, and wear your skin, over my own skin But not in a creepy way”
Then, I’m pretty sure, she looked at me, out of the corner of her good eye And, though, she never spoke a word, this is exactly what I heard She was saying, “Oh! I wanna make out with you, in an abandoned toll-booth, in the middle of a monsoon I wanna ride dolphins with you, in the moonlight Until the staff at Sea World kicks us out I want you inside me, oh, like a tapeworm”
I pointed to the side of my mouth, as a way of indicating “Hey, I think you got something on the side of your mouth” She licked the corner of her lips, as if to say “Here?”, I nodded, implying, “Yeah, you got it”
And, then the bus stopped, at 53rd Street, and she got up suddenly “Where are you going?”, pleaded my eyes, “Baby, don’t you do this to me Think of the beautiful children we could have someday We could school them at home, raise them up the right way And protect them from the evils of the world Like Trigonometry and Prime Numbers, oh no Baby, please don’t go”
She brushed my leg, as she left the bus I’m sure that was her way of saying “I’m sorry this just isn’t working out You’re suffocating me I need some space to find out what life’s all about So, goodbye forever, my love”
And deep inside, I knew she was right It was time for us both to move on And no, I never got her number, oh no no She never bothered to leave her address, oh But, as long as I live, I’ll never forget Those precious moments we shared together
On the Jackson Park Express On the Jackson Park Express On the Jackson Park Express On the Jackson Park Express On the Jackson Park Express On the Jackson Park Express On the Jackson Park Express On the Jackson Park Express
Featured songs: It’s Only Rock ‘n Roll (But I Like It),” “Brown Sugar,” “You Can’t Always Get What You Want,” “Honky Tonk Women,” “Under My Thumb,” “Ruby Tuesday,” “Miss You,” “Sympathy for the Devil,” “Get off of My Cloud,” “Shattered,” “Let’s Spend the Night Together,” and “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction”.
The first of multiple polka medleys to appear in the Top 100, this song included songs only from the catalogue of the Rolling Stones. Usually Weird Al polkas include songs from a variety of artists, but this one breaks that trait.
Lyrics
If I could stick my hand in my heart Spill it all over the stage Would it satisfy you, would it slide on by you Would you think the boy is strange? Ain’t it stra-a-ange?
If I could win, if I could sing A love song so divine Would it be enough for your cheating heart If I broke down and cried? If I cri-i-ied?
I said, ah, no, it’s only rock ‘n’ roll, but I like it Ah, no, it’s only rock ‘n’ roll, but I like it, like it, yes, I do I really, really, really, really do-do-do-do-do, hey
Gold coast slave ship bound for cotton fields Sold in a market down in New Orleans Scarred old slaver knows he’s doing all right Heard him with the women just around midnight (Brown sugar) How come you taste so good? (Brown sugar) Just like a young girl should
I saw her today at the reception A glass of wine in her hand I knew she would meet her connection At her feet was a footloose man You can’t always get what you want You can’t always get what you want You can’t always get what you want But if you try sometimes, you might find You get what you need
You need honky tonk women Give me, give me, give me the honky tonk blues
Under my thumb, the girl who once had me down Under my thumb, the girl who once pushed me around It’s down to me, yes, it is The way she talks when she’s spoken to Down to me, the change has come, she’s under my thumb
So goodbye, Ruby Tuesday Who could hang a name on you? When you change with every new day Still, I’m gonna miss you
Please allow me to introduce myself I’m a man of wealth and taste I’ve been around for a long, long year Stole many a man’s soul and faith Pleased to meet you, hope you guessed my name ‘Cause what’s puzzling you is the nature of my game
I said hey (hey), you (you), get off of my cloud Hey (hey), you (you), get off of my cloud Hey (hey), you (you), get off of my cloud Don’t hang around, ’cause two’s a crowd
Laughter, joy and loneliness and sex and sex and sex and sex Look at me I’m in tatters (Shadoobie, shattered) I’m shattered (Shadoobie, shattered)
This doesn’t happen to me every day, whoa, my (Let’s spend the night together) No excuses offered anyway, oh, my (Let’s spend the night together) I’ll satisfy your every need (Every need) And now I know you’ll satisfy me My-my-my-my, my-my-my Let’s spend the night together Now I need you more than ever Let’s spend the night together Now (My-my-my-my, my-my-my)
I can’t get no satisfaction I can’t get no girly action ‘Cause I’ve tried (and I’ve tried) and I’ve tried (and I’ve tried) And I’ve tried (and I’ve tried) and I’ve tried (and I’ve tried) I can’t get no I can’t get no I can’t get no Satisfaction, satisfaction, satisfaction Hey
Style Parody: This is debated by the fans. Some believed that this was a pastiche of the Doobie Brothers while others do not agree.
A fun and energetic song that was an early original for Weird Al. It was not listed on some versions of the In 3D album because of space.
Lyrics
We all used to call him Jimmy the geek He was a dumb looking, scrawny little four-eyed freak He never used to hang around with the guys He’d just sit in the corner Attracting the flies
He wasn’t much to look at He never was very bright But at least there was one thing that he could do alright
That boy could dance That boy could dance, yeah
He was kind of a jerk He was kind of a bore But the women would scream when he walked in the door There’s one thing I can tell you for sure That boy could dance
Pickin’ teams, he would always be last He couldn’t run very far He couldn’t think very fast If he was on your side, you’d always lose That guy had a problem Even tying his shoes
He never passed his drivers test He was always afraid of cars And he had a complexion That resembled the surface of Mars
But that boy could dance That boy could dance, yeah
Well, his hair was a mess And his clothes didn’t fit He smelled pretty bad And he drooled just a bit But you gotta admit Boy, that boy could dance
Now that boy is much older He got his own dance studio He got a teeny bopper fan club Yeah, he got his own TV show
Now he owns half of Montanna They all call him “Diamond Jim” And you know I’d do anything if I could be just like him
‘Cause that boy could dance That boy could dance That boy could dance (Now that boy could dance) That boy could dance, dance (Now that boy could dance)
That boy could dance (Now that boy could dance) That boy could dance, yeah (Now that boy could dance) I said that boy could dance (Now that boy could dance)
That boy could dance, yeah (Now that boy could dance) That boy could dance
EYG- Embrace Your Geekness 