Style Parody: Soft rock break-up songs -inspired by Nicolette Larson’s “Still You Linger On”
Fact: The music video to the song is a parody of “More Than Words” by Extreme.
Lyrics
We’ve been together for so very long But now things are changing, oh I wonder what’s wrong? Seems you don’t want me around The passion is gone and the flame’s died down
I guess I lost a little bit of self-esteem That time that you made it with the whole hockey team You used to think I was nice Now you tell all your friends that I’m the Antichrist
Oh, why did you disconnect the brakes on my car? That kind of thing is hard to ignore Got a funny feeling you don’t love me anymore
I knew that we were having problems when You put those piranhas in my bathtub again You’re still the light of my life Oh darling, I’m beggin’, won’t you put down that knife?
You know, I even think it’s kinda cute the way You poison my coffee just a little each day I still remember the way that you laughed When you pushed me down the elevator shaft
Oh, if you don’t mind me asking, what’s this poisonous cobra Doing in my underwear drawer? Sometime I get to thinking you don’t love me any more
You slammed my face down on the barbecue grill Now my scars are all healing, but my heart never will You set my house on fire You pulled out my chest hairs with an old pair of pliers
Oh, you think I’m ugly and you say I’m cheap You shaved off my eyebrows while I was asleep You drilled a hole in my head Then you dumped me in a drainage ditch and left me for dead
Oh, you know this really isn’t like you at all You never acted this way before Honey, something tells me you don’t love me any more, oh no no Got a funny feeling you don’t love me anymore
This is a song that is famously about music that bugs some people. There are mentions of Donny and Marie, Barry Manilow, The Bee Gees etc. But above them all was the Achy Breaky Heart by Billy Ray Cyrus which inspired the whole song.
Lyrics
You can torture me With Donnie & Marie You can play some Barry Manilow Or you can play some schlock Like New Kids On The Block Or any Village People song you know Or play Vanilla Ice Hey, you can play him twice And you can play the Bee Gees any day But Mr. DJ, please I’m beggin’ on my knees I just can’t take no more of Billy Ray
Don’t play that song That “Achy Breaky” song The most annoying song I know And if you play that song That “Achy Breaky” song I might blow up my radio, ooo…
You can clear the room By playind Debbie Boon Or crank your Abba records until dawn Oh, I can even hear Slim Whitman or Zamfir Don’t mind a Yoko Ono marathon Or play some Tiffany On 8-track or CD Or scrape your fingernails across the board Or tie me to a chair And kick me down the stairs Just please don’t play that stupid song no more
Don’t play that song That “Achy Breaky” song You know I hate that song a bunch And if you play that song That nauseating song It might just make me lose my lunch, oh-
Don’t play that song That “Achy Breaky” song I think it’s driving me insane Oh, please don’t play that song That irritating song I’d rather have a pitchfork in my brain
Don’t play that song That “Achy Breaky” song The most annoying song I know And if you play that song That “Achy Breaky” song I might blow up my radio, ooo-woo
Paradise season 2 wrapped up with episode 8 in the most explosive way…literally.
The amazing action, reunions, and new twists and redemptions.
Sinatra making the sacrifice play, did not see that coming.
Xavier reuniting with his kids was amazing. Xavier and Sinatra working together to save their daughters who were trapped in the elevator. Link and his men coming across them and jumping in to help was a wonderfully heroic moment.
Jeremy coming back with help to save Nicole Robinson, who was badly injured and who demanded that Jeremy leave her behind. He showed himself as another hero on this show and seeing him and Presley kissing at the end was sweet.
I confirmed that Sinatra’s husband, Tim Redmond, was played by Tuc Watkins, who appeared on some soap operas I watched years ago (OLTL, GH) as well as on Desperate Housewives. I thought it was him, and I Googled him to conform the role.
Discovering the identity of Alex looks to set up the next season of the show as the underground bunker in the mountain is no more. Exodus, or the evacuation of the colony was unbelievable. What will those who were in the bunker for so many years, thinking that the outside world was gone, react to the fact that the outside world is still there and livable?
Oh and, surprise, there is another bunker under the Denver airport. This seems to be where Alex is, and Alex apparently is an AI that can see the future and determine what to do from it. An AI that is thinking on its own and answering questions that haven’t been asked yet. The show always had a sci-fi element to it, but it feels as if the show has taken a bigger step into the genre.
I think I may have liked season two of this show more than I liked season one, and I thought season one was exceptional. Season two had so much going for it and it captured so much suspense and drama with the characters and the difficult situations the show placed them in. Who would have thought that Sinatra would be the redemption arc of this show?
The series of Sha Na Na is coming close to an end as I am in the middle of season 4. Season 4 has not been my most favorite season of this show. I think a big part of that is that they have been doing a bunch of songs that I have never heard before. Part of the fun of Sha Na Na is that they were singing songs that I recognized form the 1950s and 1960s. While I appreciate that they do not repeat songs very often, a lot of these songs did not appeal to that nostalgia. They did them fine, but I just was not engaged as I should have been.
Some of these guests were scrapping the bottom of the barrel too. See if you can figure out which one of these is not like the others: Lacy J. Dalton, Joey Travolta, The Currie Sisters, Jackie DeShannon and James Brown. Yep, I said James Brown. It was a strange performance though. He did not seem to get much reaction from the Sha Na Na crowd and it seemed to bother him. I think he probably fed off the energy of the crowd a lot, and there was not much energy in the crowd.
One of the comedy bits was with the song Istanbul (Not Constantinople) and I remember learning about that country name change from this song.
They played the song “Rock ‘N Roll Music” but it was sung by Chico. While I enjoy Chico’s songs usually, it just felt like the wrong Sha Na Na singer for this song. It was originally recorded by Chuck Barry and I think it would have been better with Donny singing it. Or maybe Screamin’ Scott. Chico’s version was fine, but it just did not feel right.
There were actually several songs that felt a little off during these episodes. I wonder if they were realizing that the end was near and that the overall energy was starting to lack a bit.
Style: Blues; typical 12-bar, slow-tempo structure, and harmonica solos.
Another one of those original songs that sneaks under the radar. I do love this song. It is such a funny song with a parody of the style of Blues.
Lyrics
I woke up this morning Then I went back to bed Said I woke up this morning Then I went right back to bed Got a funny kind of feelin’ like I got broken glass in my underwear And a herd of wild pigs is trying to chew off my head You know what I’m sayin’
Well I ain’t got not money I’m just walkin’ down the road Said I ain’t got no money, honey So I’m just walking down this lonely old road Well, I wish I could get me some money But I forgot my automated teller code
I was born in a paper sack in the bottom of a sewer I had to eat dirt clods for breakfast, my family was so poor My daddy was a waitress, my mama sold bathroom tiles My brothers and sisters all hated me ’cause I was an only child
I got the blues so bad, woo Kinda wish I was dead Maybe I’ll blow my brains out mama Or maybe I’ll, yeah maybe I’ll just go bowlin’ instead
I’m just a no good, scum sucking, nose picking, boot licking, Sniveling, groveling, worthless hunk of slime
Nothing but a low-down beer bellied, bone headed, pigeon toed, Turkey necked, weasel faced, worthless hunk of slime
Guess I pretty low self image Maybe it’s a chemical imbalance or something, I I should probably go and see a doctor about it when I’ve got the time Make it talk Aw, make it talk, son, make it talk OK, now make it shut up
Plagues and famine and pestilence always seem to get me down I always feel so miserable whenever I’m around I wish somebody would come along, stick a pitchfork through my brain I’d flush myself right down the toilet, but I’d just clog up the drain
I got the blues so bad Kinda wish I was dead Maybe I’ll blow my brains out mama Or maybe I’ll go bowling Or I just might go bowling Maybe I’ll just rent some shoes and go bowling Maybe I’ll join a league, enter a tournament, put on a stupid looking Shirt and go bowling instead Yeah
This is one of those secretively funny original songs at the end of the album that don’t get as much attention as some of the bigger parodies or style pastiches. Yet, it is really funny, setting up the image of a big, old truck driver in his dresses and with his makeup.
Lyrics
Lyrics
I’m drivin’ a truck Drivin’ a big ol’ truck Pedal to the metal, hope I don’t run out of luck Rollin’ down the highway until the break of dawn Drivin’ a truck with my high heels on
My diesel rig is northward bound It’s time to put that hammer down Just watchin’ as the miles go flyin’ by I’m ridin’ twenty tons of steel But it’s sure hard to hold the wheel While I’m still waiting for my nails to dry
Oh, I always gotta check my lipstick in that rear view mirror And my pink angora sweater fits so tight I’m jammin’ gears and haulin’ freight Well, I sure hope my seams are straight Lord, don’t let my mascara run tonight
Because I’m drivin’ a truck Drivin’ a big ol’ truck Smokey’s on my tail and my accelerator’s stuck Got these eighteen wheels a-rollin until the break of dawn Drivin’ a truck with my high heels on
Oh, I don’t mind when my crotchless panties creep right up on me And my nipple rings don’t bother me too much But when I hit those big speed bumps My darling little rhinestone pumps Keep slippin’ off the mother-lovin’ clutch
But still I’m drivin’ a truck Drivin’ a big ol’ truck Headin’ down the interstate, just tryin’ to make buck Wearin’ feather boas with sequins and chiffon While I’m drivin’ a truck with my high heels on
I’m drivin’ a truck Drivin’ a truck Got a load to carry and some eyebrows left to pluck And I’m late for my appointment down at the hair salon So I’ll be drivin’ a truck with my high heels on
Fact: Doors keyboardist played keyboards on the studio recording of the song.
Album: Alpocalypse
This song was released before the album among a group of songs called Internet Leaks, which included four new videos.
The song is an amazing style parody of The Doors. So much so that you might think it is a stright up parody of a specific song.
Lyrics
Whoa, yeah!
You’ve got a ’65 Chevy Malibu With automatic drive A custom paint job, too
I’ll trade you for my old wheelbarrow And a slightly used sombrero And I’ll even throw in a stapler, if you insist
Craigslist! I’m on Craiglist, baby, come on! Yeah
Well, we shared a quick glance Saturday at the mall I never took a chance Never approached you at all
You were a blonde half-Asian with a bad case of gas I was wearin’ red Speedos and a hockey mask Come on, let’s find that love connection that we missed
On Craigslist! Yeah, Craigslist, come on! I’m on Craigslist Oh, baby, maybe you are too! Be bom ba chomb cadonk bin bam boo!
An open letter to the snotty barista At the Coffee Bean on San Vacente Boulevard: I know there were twenty people behind me in line But I was on a cell phone call with my mother Didn’t you see me hold up my index finger? That means, “I’ll order my soy decaf hazelnut latte in just a couple minutes” So, what’s with the attitude, lady? No tip for you!
Got a trash can of Styrofoam peanuts You can have ’em for free You can drop by on the weekend And pick ’em up from me But the trash can ain’t part of the deal Only givin’ you the peanuts Get real! Don’t have no Hefty bag, so bring your own Don’t bug me with questions on the phone Don’t ask for help, don’t waste my time And don’t complain, ’cause they won’t cost you a dime Just ask yourself: Do you want my Styrofoam peanuts? You can have my Styrofoam peanuts Do you want my Styrofoam peanuts? You can have them all
They’re on Craigslist, yeah! Craigslist! Ow, baby, come on! I’m on Craigslist, Craigslist, Craigslist! I’m on Craigslist, Craigslist, Craigslist, now
Featured songs: It’s Only Rock ‘n Roll (But I Like It),” “Brown Sugar,” “You Can’t Always Get What You Want,” “Honky Tonk Women,” “Under My Thumb,” “Ruby Tuesday,” “Miss You,” “Sympathy for the Devil,” “Get off of My Cloud,” “Shattered,” “Let’s Spend the Night Together,” and “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction”.
The first of multiple polka medleys to appear in the Top 100, this song included songs only from the catalogue of the Rolling Stones. Usually Weird Al polkas include songs from a variety of artists, but this one breaks that trait.
Lyrics
If I could stick my hand in my heart Spill it all over the stage Would it satisfy you, would it slide on by you Would you think the boy is strange? Ain’t it stra-a-ange?
If I could win, if I could sing A love song so divine Would it be enough for your cheating heart If I broke down and cried? If I cri-i-ied?
I said, ah, no, it’s only rock ‘n’ roll, but I like it Ah, no, it’s only rock ‘n’ roll, but I like it, like it, yes, I do I really, really, really, really do-do-do-do-do, hey
Gold coast slave ship bound for cotton fields Sold in a market down in New Orleans Scarred old slaver knows he’s doing all right Heard him with the women just around midnight (Brown sugar) How come you taste so good? (Brown sugar) Just like a young girl should
I saw her today at the reception A glass of wine in her hand I knew she would meet her connection At her feet was a footloose man You can’t always get what you want You can’t always get what you want You can’t always get what you want But if you try sometimes, you might find You get what you need
You need honky tonk women Give me, give me, give me the honky tonk blues
Under my thumb, the girl who once had me down Under my thumb, the girl who once pushed me around It’s down to me, yes, it is The way she talks when she’s spoken to Down to me, the change has come, she’s under my thumb
So goodbye, Ruby Tuesday Who could hang a name on you? When you change with every new day Still, I’m gonna miss you
Please allow me to introduce myself I’m a man of wealth and taste I’ve been around for a long, long year Stole many a man’s soul and faith Pleased to meet you, hope you guessed my name ‘Cause what’s puzzling you is the nature of my game
I said hey (hey), you (you), get off of my cloud Hey (hey), you (you), get off of my cloud Hey (hey), you (you), get off of my cloud Don’t hang around, ’cause two’s a crowd
Laughter, joy and loneliness and sex and sex and sex and sex Look at me I’m in tatters (Shadoobie, shattered) I’m shattered (Shadoobie, shattered)
This doesn’t happen to me every day, whoa, my (Let’s spend the night together) No excuses offered anyway, oh, my (Let’s spend the night together) I’ll satisfy your every need (Every need) And now I know you’ll satisfy me My-my-my-my, my-my-my Let’s spend the night together Now I need you more than ever Let’s spend the night together Now (My-my-my-my, my-my-my)
I can’t get no satisfaction I can’t get no girly action ‘Cause I’ve tried (and I’ve tried) and I’ve tried (and I’ve tried) And I’ve tried (and I’ve tried) and I’ve tried (and I’ve tried) I can’t get no I can’t get no I can’t get no Satisfaction, satisfaction, satisfaction Hey
I was sitting here, preparing to get started on the EYG Comic Cavalcade when I decided that I was feeling tired. I have been battling a cold over the last couple of days (since I went to the doctor’s office to renew my medication… coincidence???) and I decided that I would lay down and just relax for a bit.
I took a short little nap, not fully asleep, but enough to feel happy about the time. It is something that I do not usually allow myself, so this felt special. I have no school tomorrow because of Presidents’ Day and so this was a nice afternoon. I do hope that I will not pay for this tonight. In the past, when I have taken a nap in the afternoon, I struggled to get to sleep that night. I do think my body was telling me that I needed the shut eye and I hope it will not throw off my sleep pattern.
There were a few things running through my head while I was resting. First was the fact that I have a current run of 997 consecutive days of posting at EYG on Word Press. That has been a fun fact as we have been building on the streak, but I realized something the other day. Around a week and a half ago, I saw the number and I wondered when the actual day would be for the 1000th consecutive post. When I counted, it turned out that day 1000 would occur on my birthday! How fun! So this coming Wednesday, unless there is some massive major event, I will post my 1000th consecutive day on my 57th birthday.
Speaking of birthdays, my friend Shane just celebrated his yesterday on Valentine’s Day. Shane was one of the four original Embrace Your Geekness guys. In fact, he had asked me a question about whether I preferred Avengers or X-Men, to which I replied Avengers. He was surprised by that and then he made some comment about excuse his geekness. My response was to not be ashamed and to “embrace your geekness.” And so it went on. So happy birthday, Shane.
Well, I should get back to getting the Comic Cavalcade ready to go. I did love the lazy Sunday afternoon though.
I have been dreading this episode since the beginning of the season. All the hints and foreshadowing was there, but I tried my best to ignore them.
Then, last week, the show ended with Louie nonresponsive and Robby and Langdon trying to revive him.
Of course, that is where the show picked up this week and we watched as this secondary character died of a pulmonary hemorrhage due t liver failure. Louie had been a drinker, we knew. We just never knew what had led to the drinking.
During the debrief and the chance to say goodbye, Robby told the whole group assembled that Louie had been married and that his wife and unborn child had died in a car wreck and that Louie had never been the same after.
Ernest Harden Jr. played the role of Louie and you can tell how great of an actor he was when he was a side character that only had a bit of screen time and yet his character’s death impacted me dramatically.
This episode featured the nurses of the Pitt more than we had gotten prior, which was a long overdue look. There were other arcs to the episode, my absolutely most hated one was the hot dog competitor. I hate vomit scenes and this had two of them. I really hated that and I am glad he seemed to be a one and done arc.
However, the episode belonged to Louie and the grief that the staff showed. It was poignant when we discovered that the ER was Louie’s emergency contact.
Then, there was Ogilvie, whom I have not liked much this new season, but now I hate him for his callousness tied to Louie’s death. The way he broke the news to Whitaker so carelessly and his comment about “an alcohol abuser” was heartless. I am cheering for this guy to flame out in the program.
Emotional episode and we are still only six episodes in.
One day an author wrote a story that had 5 characters.The story was about 5 old people playing cars and their names were Joe, Bob, Sherrill, Kathy and there was a 5 person. But who was that 5th person? It was a mystery. But they were determined to find out who this person was.
So they began their first game of cards. Joe drew first and picked up 3 spades. Next the mystery person went, they all examined his face to see if they could remember who he was or if they even knew who he was.
Once the first game of cards was done it was sherrill who won and they then decided to go get some food and learn more about this mystery person.
They all ordered chicken because everybody likes chicken and once they got their food they began to question the man. They asked him things like; where he was from, how he randomly showed up with them, what his favorite color was, etc. They learned that his favorite color was orange but they couldn’t remember anything else.
Wait a minute they all thought, why can’t we remember anything he just told us? And then they remembered, they had all been diagnosed with a disease but they couldn’t remember the name.
Then the secret man told him, you all have dementia and I am your caretaker. They were all confused what dementia was and why they needed a caretaker. So the doctor explained to them that dementia meant that they were beginning to not remember everything. But they were confused and they didn’t think they were forgetting anything at all. They believed he was lying to them and he was a fake caretaker and called the police on him. But they couldn’t remember what number it was to call the police. So the question remained, was this a fake caretaker or did they really have this dementia disease?
So the day after he went around the city and found as many clothes he could find, it didn’t matter the color. After he found what he could he put the clothes on over his other clothes that he had on and went back to his box to sleep for that night because it was getting dark outside.
It is now the next day the homeless man woke up, He was hungry of course but there was no food around that’s why he wanted money. After thinking about how to get money he remembered the clothes he found and he was going to use them to rob a bank for at least $1,000, he wanted at least that much because he didn’t want to starve. He was fine with sleeping in a box but having no food was not acceptable with his standards.
Now It’s 9:15 AM now the homeless man thought that he shouldn’t rob a bank yet, he thought about going and stealing peoples wallets. He thought about it for 28 minutes and he decided that it was a good idea so he put on those clothes that he found and did just that. After a long time it was now 12:45 PM, He had gotten 3 wallets, the money that was in the wallets added up to $51 with that cash. He remembered that he lived by a GoodWill, so he went into the GoodWill and bought a pair of pants, shirt, gloves, winter hat, socks and shoes the cost of all that was $20.39 with tax.
Now he goes to a place called McDonald’s and just gets some fries for $3.86 with tax. But only the fries didn’t fill him up because he hasn’t eaten in 3 days so he went back into Mcdonald’s and ordered 2 Big Mac meals For $16.46 Including tax. With purchasing all that stuff he is left with $10.29. After that he went to a home depot to get a ski mask for $5.08 and now the homeless man will steal wallets for a living until he can get a job.
I finished up Sha Na Na’s first season on YouTube this morning with three pretty good episodes. I do believe that some of the errors that the show did in the first half of their first season were addressed midway through and it did seem better.
Episode 22 kicked off with Blue Moon, which was strange because I am almost certain that that song has already been done on the show. I don’t think that it was just the pilot episode either. I didn’t go back through my reviews to see, but it felt very familiar. The last song of the season was sung by Dirty Dan, and it was Dream Lover, which, again, I thought I had already heard this season. I’m not sure it was a good sign if they were repeating songs just during their first season.
They continued with the musical acts as guest stars instead of comedians or actors. Dion, Marth Reeves and the Vandellas and Bobby Vee all were able to perform and added so much to each episode. The poor comedy was kept to a minimum and the show became more of a musical variety show.
Martha Reeves stuck around after her song and did some jokes with Bowzer and Lennie, both of which were funny. You can do that if it is written well.
Sha Na Na does a fantastic job of finding the right voices to blend together. They had the song Charlie Brown sung by Screamin’ Scott and Jocko, and they sounded great together. Then, they had their best singers< Johnny, Bowzer, Donny, Santini and Denny doing Remember Then, which is sensational.
In episode 23, they did one of the comedy bits where they all dress up and they called it Swine Lake. At first, I thought to myself, “What am I watching?” but as it went on, I started picturing it as an act on the Muppet Show. Had this been the pigs from the Muppets doing this “ballet” I wouldn’t have blinked at it. So, by making Sha Na Na human Muppets, I found much more enjoyment in the skit than I would have before.
Avery Schreiber, who has been a cabbie all season long, came into the diner and did a skit/song where he danced like a robot. It was a bizarre moment. It was another that kind of grew on me and I liked the effort of him doing something different than just drive his cab onto the set and bring the guest star. Apparently, the song was called Mechanical Man and it was a song Avery Schreiber wrote the song as a way to express his unhappiness over how he was being seen as an actor.
Dirty Dan had several songs in this block of three including Dream Lover, Da Do Run Run, and part of the Mexican skit in episode 22.
The comedy bit song in the 24th episode was Ahab the Arab, which was a song b Ray Stevens. I was surprised, since I thought this was too recent for Sha Na Na to do it. However, I did a quick Google search and it said that the song was released in 1962, meaning it fell right into Sha Na Na’s wheelhouse.
This brings to a close season one of the variety show. I am curious to see if there are any changes from season one to two or if the changes they made in the middle of season one will just continue.
For my 14th birthday I was surprised with going on a cruise with just my mom and I. I had to fly to Miami and stayed in a hotel right on the beach. When we got to the hotel we went and walked on the beach. The sand was so hot and the edge of the ocean was full of seaweed. After that we spent the rest of the afternoon sleeping because we had to be up really early in the morning.
Then the next day we boarded the ship early. Once we got on the ship we looked around to see what was on it. The things that were on it were a shopping area/ eating places, on the top deck was 4 pools and mini golf, there was an arcade, water slides, and a water wave pool. There was also a basketball court on the top deck.
We got lunch and we went swimming on the top deck of the ship. After a few hours our room was ready and we went to see what it looked like. In our room we had a balcony. After we saw our room and unpacked everything we watched from our balcony the ship took off. When the ship took off you could feel the vibration of the motor. When we took off you could see little fish swim away from underneath the ship. Once the ship took off we got ready for dinner and for every meal except breakfast I had chicken strips and fries. At our first dinner I watched from my chair Miami get smaller and smaller. It was so pretty because when we took off it was becoming night and the sunsets were so beautiful the whole week.
After eating and watching the ship take off my mom told me that people hide ducks around the ship so we spent the next hour after dinner finding rubber ducks and hiding them for others to find. I brought back so many and hid so many as well. After looking for the ducks and hiding them we went to look at all the shops. My mom also heard about how everyday you could collect charms and make a bracelet out of them.
The first day we got the actual bracelet part and 5 charms the next day and the day after we didn’t get them because we forgot about it, but the lady who was giving them out gave us the ones for those days and the day we went there.
The next morning we woke up in the Bahamas. There was also one other ship besides ours docked at the island. When we woke up we got ready for the day ahead and ate breakfast. By the time we got done eating breakfast we looked out the window and saw their private island CoCo Cay.
When we got to the island we looked at getting my hair braided but it was too hot and too expensive. We went to our room to put on swimsuits and wait for the announcement ordering us to get off the ship and explore the island. When we got off the ship we went to get our stuff to go snorkeling. While snorkeling I saw big conch shells, little cute fish, seaweed, and lots of other shells. The water was so blue and clear you wouldn’t believe it.
We went shopping around the island and when we got too hot we went to the pool on the lagoon. After we were cooled off we took a tram around the island and we talked to the driver and he was super nice. The driver told us that they would stay on the island for 3 months at a time. He also said that for hurricanes they would still stay on the island. There was also a level 5 hurricane coming our way. My mom was watching it the whole time and was going to get there 2 days after we were back home. Once we got back to the ship we went and laid down.
After we laid down for a while we went back out on the island and snorkeled again. We didn’t snorkel for long because it was high tied for the second round and was too deep for me and the waves kept hitting my face. After we got back on the ship my mom and I watched the ship take off from the private island. While we took off the sunset was so beautiful. We went and cleaned up for dinner and headed down to dinner. After dinner we went to the arcade and got ducks from the duck machine and hid them around the ship. We also looked for ducks and found new places for some while hiding our ducks.
Before going to bed, we would stand on the balcony to look out onto the ocean. We did see other ships and we would try and guess what ones the ships were. At night you could still see how blue the water was. We would also sit out on the balcony and listen to the waves. We would watch on our tv how fast we were going. The first night we were going 5 knots. The second night we were going 7 knots. Finally last night we were going 25 knots. We would also go to the 5th level where all the shops and restaurants were and fill our cups with some kind of drink before bed or whenever we needed a drink unless we went to a restaurant or somewhere that had drinks. We had a drink package and we could get any drink we wanted. That also meant we could go to Starbucks and get any kind of drink we wanted any time of day.
Also every night there would be a band playing on the 5th level. When we went to get off and on the ship the people did not speak English they spoke Spanish. My mom tried to help this one family that could not speak or understand English.
The next day we arrived in Nassau, Bahamas and took a faerie to Blue Lagoon Island. On the island we had a pass to swim with dolphins. The dolphins were so well trained and so smart. I got to hug, kiss, dance, and was pushed across the lagoon by the dolphin. After we got to swim with the dolphins we went and looked at the shops on the lagoon. We went swimming in the ocean part of the lagoon. When I was swimming in the ocean I had goggles and I was looking for shells. I was also seeing if I could touch the deeper part of that area. Once we were done swimming we went to get back on the fairies and we saw a little crab while waiting to get on the faerie. On our way back the drivers of the faerie were playing music and people were dancing.
We got to see famous peoples houses along the ocean. One of the celebrity’s houses I saw was Beyonce’s house. When we arrived at the drop off station they said we need our ids or passports. When we got there my mom didn’t have hers and they were going to let me go through all by myself. But luckily my mom had a picture of her passport from when she went to Australia. When she found it she was so relieved because the security guard wouldn’t let my mom enter with me and was going to let me go to the ship alone then she remembered she had that picture.
After that all happened we went to our room and got all cleaned up to go to dinner and rest. After dinner we went to the top deck and played mini golf. We also went to a game show about finishing the lyrics. When they asked for contestants I pounded at my mom and said “ she wants to do it! ” When they heard me say it they said “ ok get up here! ” When we got done with the game show we went to get a milkshake and to go to the arcade. We also swam in the top deck pool a lot and watched movies in the pool. We also met these very nice ladies on our flight from Atlanta to Miami and we ran into them multiple times on the cruise.
The next day we were back in Miami and we had to be off the boat at 8 am. We got an uber and went to the airport early to try and get an earlier flight out. We spent the entire day in the delta sky lounge. We tried to get on 3 different flights other than our original flight. Our fight also got delayed 3 different times. When we got on our flight we sat next to this really nice lady and she was going to Argentina and was bringing caviar with her. Me and my mom got to sit first class on all 4 of our flights because of my moms delta points. In first class we got lots of yummy snacks and drinks. Our layover was in Atlanta and we got to our gate just as they were starting to board. The reason why we were getting there when they were starting to board was because the flight from Miami to Atlanta was on the other side of the airport. We got on the plane and my mom and I fell asleep the whole flight and woke up 30 minutes before landing. In the 30 minutes I was awake we went through a lightning storm and it looked so cool. There was a lot of turbulence but it wasn’t too bad. When we landed the lights were so bright and came on so quick and I wasn’t prepared at all. After we got off the plane we went to baggage claim and stood there for a long time. When we got our luggage we went to the bathroom and then we went to our car. By the time we got home it was 12 am and I was so tired that I went straight to bed. After waiting for a week we got all the pictures from all the tourers and other stuff we did on the cruise. Overall I would recommend going on a cruise with family and friends or just by yourself. Don’t hesitate to go if you ever get to go on one. It was the best thing ever and I would definitely go on one again. Don’t be scared of going on one. It isn’t that scary at all, in fact it was amazing. You get to see and do all these amazing opportunities. The staff is so nice and they kept the cruise very clean and not dirty at all. The food was also delicious. I think I would like to try more things than I did but it was still so fun. One thing that I didn’t like was that I couldn’t use my phone because there was no internet. The only thing you could do on your phone was text, call, and take pictures. I am also so grateful that I got to go and love my mom. She surprised me and I had so much fun.
My mom has always tried to do more experiences than presents. The reason she does this is because memories are more important than things. She has taken my sister on trips like this but she likes more sports than I do so she got to go to the sweet 16 in Seattle for her 14th birthday in 2023 as well and got to meet Monika Czinano. She also has been taking us on Christmas breaks for our presents since 2017. It has always been different places except we went to Daytona beach twice. We went to Galveston Texas which we had to leave a day early and drove from Galveston to Des Moines because our flight was cancelled because of an ice storm and my mom didn’t want to be stuck in Texas. We have also been to St. Pete Beach. We also went to Hilton Head Beach which is where I got to hold alligators. When we were in St. Pete we walked 2 miles down the beach from a restaurant to our hotel. In Daytona we got to see manatees and I got to hold a jellyfish. At night we would also walk along the beach and we saw little and big jelly fish along the water that were washed up on the beach. We would also look for shells and my sister and I would give them to friends, teachers, and family members. We would drive on the beach in Daytona. We also saw a lot of peers and they were cool.
Overall I would recommend going on a cruise with family and friends or just by yourself. Don’t hesitate to go if you ever get to go on one. It was the best thing ever and I would definitely go on one again. Don’t be scared of going on one. It isn’t that scary at all, in fact it was amazing. You get to see and do all these amazing opportunities. The staff is so nice and they kept the cruise very clean and not dirty at all. The food was also delicious. I think I would like to try more things than I did but it was still so fun. One thing that I didn’t like was that I couldn’t use my phone because there was no internet. The only thing you could do on your phone was text, call, and take pictures. I am also so grateful that I got to go and love my mom. She surprised me and I had so much fun. Thank you mom for all you do. I love you so so much.
“Stacy, we’re going to be late for the party!!” I yelled. We were getting ready to go to Jaden’s party. Everyone was talking about it for weeks upon end!! We were so excited to go. We just went shopping for new dresses and outfits just for this!!
We were just about to Jordan’s house when a strange light in the distance appeared in the sky. Like a huge fireball, with a strange object falling from the sky.
“What was that??” Stacy yelled, “I Don’t know?? But That gave me the willys!!”
We drove over there to see what it was. As we got closer, we saw a bunch of people running like they were running for their lives. Stacy told me that we should turn around, but I was curious!!
The tension overwhelmed the vehicle.
“Hey!! I hear something. Do you hear that?” I said
“Ya, I hear that too, like people yelling for us to turn around, and hide!!” Stacy said
“But wait,” I said, I turned down this gravel road and saw these strange creatures falling from the sky. That’s when the thought came to my mind that they were aliens. But I didn’t really think they existed. We turned around and drove down to the police station. The streets were filled with crowds of people and those strange creatures. They looked like ginormous spiders, but with 6 legs and their faces seemed to crack open into 3 worm-like faces with rows and rows of blade-like razor sharp teeth.
“These creatures must have come from the enormous explosion.” Stacy cried.
“Y, y..ya, I, I guess you’re right.” I said.
“Cristal,” she said, “are you ok?”
“Ya, Ya, I, I, I’m fine.” I said
“We have to get out of here, we’re not going to make to the police station.” said Stacy
“I know, but there is no other place to go!!” I said
All of a shudden, there was a loud thump from above our vehicle. “There’s one on our car!! One of the creatures scraped and scratched our vehicle and broke our windshield. I put the car in reverse and ran into a light pole. The creature slid down the car and sliced Stacy across the left side of her face with its large knife-like claws. Stacy screamed. I put the car in drive and luckily we were moving!! I quickly pressed the brakes and flung the creature off the car. As soon as it flung off, I ran it over with the car, and kept on driving down the gravel road to my home. RRRRRRRRRRRR Pat, Pat!!
“No!! Come on, Come on. We’re almost home!! Why break down now??!!” I yelled
“Wait here!!” I yelled “Stay right there!!”
“What?” Stacy asked
“I’m not staying here all by myself!!”
“I know, but you’re hurt. I don’t want you to get hurt even more!!”
“What if another one of those creatures comes?? They would hurt me even more!!”
Stacy gave me a frightened face that I’ve only seen her make once before after she got the news that our parents got in a car wreck and didn’t make it. I knew I couldn’t leave her there, and I most certainly wouldn’t want her to go through that all over again if something were to happen to me too.
Come on, run as fast as you can to the house!! I yelled!!
Stacy swung her hands up, and I pulled her out of the car .
We ran as fast as we could, but then randomly Stacy fell to her knees and stopped moving. The cut on her face oozed this yellow hue and she all of a sudden she screamed and cried. She wouldn’t talk to me, but I knew something was wrong and we needed to move. The soft movement of the wing blowing the weeds through the field dramatically ceased as a roaring crash breaks the silence. There was one of those creatures again. They followed us.
“I hear it!!” Stacy exclaimed “The closer they are, the more clear it gets.”
We ran as far as we could thinking we could out run it, but we couldn’t.
“Stop!!” I yelled, “don’t move”
We kept hearing the noises, but nothing was chasing us any more. Stacy cried, and the creature heard her and started chasing us. I held her mouth as it stood right in front of us. It stood there as if it couldn’t hear us. A truck on the other side of the field went flying by, and caught the alien’s attention.That’s when we decided to make a run for it, but Stacy couldn’ t move. She acted as if she were paralyzed for a second. Then she got up like she’s never walked before. I didn’t have time to think, so I placed her on my back and ran. Every little noise I made caught the alien’s attention, but since the truck was much louder, it didn’t come after us.
We ran as far as we could and made it home.
The house was quiet, and eerie. Usually there would be loud music playing, or someone yelling at the other team on the tv. There might be someone making dinner, or taking a shower, or wrestling each other to see whose better, or practicing for a big ballet recital. There was always some sort of noise in our house. Even at night, Stacy always has the tv on for noise. But there was nothing. The house was empty. Not a peep. No one playing loud music or someone yelling at the other team on the tv, there was no one making dinner, or taking a shower, no one was wrestling, or practicing ballet. Nothing. Noone was there not even my parents. Was I expecting them? I don’t know. Was this all a dream. Would I just wake up and climb into my parent’s arms. Would they hug me like they used to, and would I hear their soft whispers telling me they love me??
I cried but Stacy held her cold deadlike hand over my mouth.
“Shrrrrrrrr.” She whispered as she pointed out the window. That creature was back. It climbed the side of our house, and onto the roof. I took Stacy to the bathroom, and we went into the closet. That is where we hid from the creature. We heard it crash through the window upstairs. The creature seemed to be crashing, and knocking things over to make us jump. Stacy fell into my arms as if there was nothing left in her. She was sick, and I really needed to get her to the hospital to get her some help.
“I felt her pulse just to make sure she was alive. What?” I thought to myself, I looked down at her and there was this strange look on her face. She looked at me as if she were saying I’m ok, don’t worry about me, but I was worried about her.
I grabbed Stacy and wrists and looked at her and I told her that “I was going to get her some help, and that I loved her. She smiled at me silently and cried in pain. That’s when the alien-like creature crashed through the door of the bathroom. I really started to freak out. I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t leave here without getting caught. The shadows of the creature seemed to creep under the slight crack below the door frame. Something must have happened that caught its attention and it turned around and went outside.
I cracked open the door just enough to see if anything was there. Luckily there wasn’t, so I slipped out the door leaving Stacy behind, and I grabbed a first aid kit out of the bathroom cabinet. As soon as I grabbed it, the toothpaste fell out of the cabinet. I swung my arm and somehow I caught it in between my pinky and ring finger. I gently sat the toothpaste back and I tiptoed back to grab Stacy. I pulled her out of the bathroom and into my bedroom, where there was a walk-in closet with locks on the doors(as if that was going to do anything). I laid Stacy down and we stayed as quiet as we could.
Later on that night, we both tried to stay awake. I looked down at Stacy to see if she was asleep, but she was so sick that she couldn’t even really talk much. We both eventually fell asleep, but I got spooked or something and woke up. I looked at Stacy, who was squeezing my arm as tight as she could. She was so weak and her eyes looked around desperately. I tried to scream but my throat felt like it was in my stomach. I knew it was only a matter of time before… It was too harsh to think of. I held Stacy tight and hugged her. That gash on the side of her face started to ooze again. Just like last time, that yellow gue oozed out of it. I grabbed the first aid kit, and poured peroxide on her gash. As I poured it on her face, I covered her mouth with a sweater that was hanging up. She screamed in pain as I poured it. I rinsed it off with a bottle of water from my nightstand in my room. I covered it up with some gauze and tape, along with some pain reliever cream.
Just then, a loud bang came from the left!
“we’ve got to go!!” Stacy whispered.
I told her that we can’t leave or they will get us both.
“It’s locked!!” I told her “Don’t worry!!
“What if they find us!! She whispered
“They can’t find us if we don’t talk, or make any noises.”
“Do you think they’re looking for us?”
“I don’t know, I don’t know what they are even here for.”
All of a sudden one of the creatures busted into my room. It must have heard us talking. We couldn’t move, we were like frozen in our place. 2 figures came out from the shadows, and creeped over to the door. Stacy was shaking uncontrollably, so I held her tighter and tighter to comfort her. I knew that the moment they left I had to get her out of here.
I found my box of nail polish and threw it at the window to distract them. They went outside and as soon as they did, I picked up Stacy, grabbed my stuff and ran. Ran without thinking about making a noise, I had only one thing on my mind. And that was getting Stacy help. I knew we were being chased, but I still ran. My legs felt like jello but I pushed onward, and hid behind this car in the empty parking lot. I closed my eyes and wished this was all a dream. When I opened my eyes Stacy was laying in my arms. She looked around, She looked as if she couldn’t remember what happened. I looked at and at Stacy, then behind the car. I could see now 3 creatures flipping cars, and another crawling in from behind the others. I could see tears in Stacy’s eyes. I couldn’t believe how hard it must be for her. I mean, we both lost our parents, but she is only 14 years old. I mean, Ya, I am 18, but still. She is heartbroken. I scooted over closer to her and gave her a big hug. “Did you hear that? It’s getting louder!!” she cried
A low humming noise came from behind the car. All of a sudden the car flipped on top of us. I leaped over top of Stacy. The sun roof window crashed on top of us, and somehow we made it in the car. The creatures piled up stacks high on top of the car, compressing all of the air out of the vehicle. The windows were breaking , glass flying everywhere. Every little move is a new pain. Stacy was unconscious and not moving. I held her tighter and tighter?
I knew that only one of us could escape. Stacy sort of nudged and shook, then went cold. I knew she was gone. My eyes filled with tears as I hugged her one last time, wishing this were all a bad dream. An arm grabs Stacy by the leg. I grabbed a large shard of glass and cut the arm off of the creature. A loud screech from the creature, and all of the creatures piled on top of it.
I squeezed through the small hole of the car window, grabbed Stacy’s arm and dragged her out. I picked her up and ran towards the police station. I pulled at the doors, but they were locked and evacuated. Then all of a sudden out of the shadows, and into the light came one of those creatures. It crashed through the windows and came after me. I ran and hid behind a bush. I heard me and jumped into the bush. I ran but it grabbed me by the arm and its razor sharp claws sliced into my arm. I cried in agony and ran away. I saw a light in the distance. Hoping this wasn’t the end, I followed it. I started to see red lights along with other bright lights. I could faintly read the words “HOESTPITALE”
AKA– “HOSPITAL” My vision was very blurry. As I dragged stacy, I crawled quietly through a meadow and got onto the cement were someone grabbed me and pulled me into a room and worked on me. I wouldn’t let go of stacy.
I woke up in the recovering room. I was alive!! But how?? I guess the hospital realized what had happened, so they bordered the doors and windows, staying quiet. They saw what had happened and dragged us in. Stacy sadly died. They said that her face got infected. They also told me that the main reason was from the cut from one of the aliens claws. They inject poison into you when touched. My cut on my arm was very deep. They injected cleanser into my arm, along with anti-fungal, muscle relaxer, and anti-poison. Hoping they didn’t have to amputate the arm, they kept injecting me with new things.
Today I live with a nasty black and purple scar, with bumps all over it on my arm. I am now 20 years old, and am getting married in April. But even though my life seems to be going better, I will never forget the day I lost my sister because of the aliens.
EYG- Embrace Your Geekness 