Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #87

#87

Lame Claim to Fame

Title: “Lame Claim to Fame”

Album: Mandatory Fun

Release: 2014

Written: Al Yankovic

Style Parody: Southern Culture on the Skids

Lyrics

One time I was in the checkout line
Behind Steven Seagal
Once I’m pretty sure Mr. Jonah Hill
Was in the very next bathroom stall
My best friend’s brother
Well, he was an extra in Wayne’s World 2
My neighbour’s baby sitter
Dated three of the guys in Motley Crue
I swear Jack Nicholson
Looked right at me at a Laker’s game

I got a lame
Lame claim to fame

Check it out, I bought a second hand toaster
From a guy who says he knows Brad Pitt
I got me an email from the prince of Nigeria
Well, he sure sounded legit
My sister used to take piano lessons
From the second cousin of Ralph Nader
Last year I threw up in an elevator
Next to Christian Slater
Well guess what, my birthday and Kim Kardashian’s
Are exactly the same

I got a lame
Lame claim to fame
A really lame
Lame claim to fame

Once at a party, my dentist accidentally
Sneezed on Russell Crowe
I posted first in the comments
On a YouTube video
I tried to sit by Steve Buscemi
But he told me this seat’s taken
I know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy
Who know a guy who knows a guy who know Kevin Bacon

I had a car that used to belong
To Cuba Gooding Jr.’s uncle
A friend of mine in high school
Had jury duty with Art Garfunkel
One time I was staying in the same hotel
As Zooey Deschanel
I used the same napkin dispenser
As Steve Carell at a Taco Bell
Well I don’t mean to brag but
Paul Giamatti’s plumber knows me by name

I got a lame
Lame claim to fame
A really lame
Lame claim to fame
I’m talking lame
Lame claim to fame
A really really really lame
Lame claim to fame

Ow, let’s get lame boys

Source: LyricFind

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #88

#88

Mr. Popeil

Title: “Mr. Popeil”

Album: Weird Al Yankovic In 3D

Written: Al Yankovic

Released: 1984

Style Pastiche: B-52s

Fact: Background vocals were provided by Lisa Popeil, the daughter of Sam Popeil, who this song was about.

Lyrics

I need a vegematic!
I need a pocket fisherman!
I need a handy appliance
That’ll scramble an egg while it’s still inside its shell!
(Operators are standing by.
How does that make you feel?)
Help me.
Mr. Popeil!

I wanna shine some pennies!
I wanna mend some leather!
I wanna Krazy-glue my head to the bottom of a big steel girder!
(Please, no c.o.d.’s.
Don’t miss out on this deal.)
Ah, help me.
Mr. Popeil!

Help me.
Mr. Popeil!
Mr. Popeil!
Mr. Popeil!

It slices. it dices.
Look at that tomato!
You could even cut a tin can with it,
But you wouldn’t want to!

Mr. Popeil, I’m in trouble.
Need your assistance on the double.
Oh no! now how am I gonna make
My old vinyl car top look like new?
Mr. Popeil!
Tell me, what am I s’posed to do?

Mr. Popeil!
Mr. Popeil!

But wait, there’s more!
It’s not sold in any store!
(Now how much would you pay?)
Don’t answer yet,
Just look what else you get!
(Now how much would you pay?)
If you order today,
You get a ginsu knife and a smokeless ashtray!
(Now how much would you pay?)
Now how much would you pay?
Mr. Popeil, Mr. Popeil.
Mr. Popeil, Mr. Popeil.
Mr. Popeil, Mr. Popeil.
Mr. Popeil, Mr. Popeil.

Make me buy a garden weasel!
Make me buy a bamboo steamer!
Make me take advantage
Of this amazing tv offer!
(Call our toll-free number,
We’ll make you such a deal.)
Aw, help me!
Mr. Popeil. I want it!
(Mr. Popeil.) well, I need it!
(Mr. Popeil.) I got to got to got to have it!
Mr. Popeil!
Mr. Popeil!
Hey!

Source: LyricFind

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #89

#89

You Don’t Love Me Anymore

Title: “You Don’t Love Me Anymore”

Written: Al Yankovic

Album: Off the Deep End

Release: 1992

Style: Acoustic ballad/Comedy

Style Parody: Soft rock break-up songs -inspired by Nicolette Larson’s “Still You Linger On”

Fact: The music video to the song is a parody of “More Than Words” by Extreme.

Lyrics

We’ve been together for so very long
But now things are changing, oh I wonder what’s wrong?
Seems you don’t want me around
The passion is gone and the flame’s died down

I guess I lost a little bit of self-esteem
That time that you made it with the whole hockey team
You used to think I was nice
Now you tell all your friends that I’m the Antichrist

Oh, why did you disconnect the brakes on my car?
That kind of thing is hard to ignore
Got a funny feeling you don’t love me anymore

I knew that we were having problems when
You put those piranhas in my bathtub again
You’re still the light of my life
Oh darling, I’m beggin’, won’t you put down that knife?

You know, I even think it’s kinda cute the way
You poison my coffee just a little each day
I still remember the way that you laughed
When you pushed me down the elevator shaft

Oh, if you don’t mind me asking, what’s this poisonous cobra
Doing in my underwear drawer?
Sometime I get to thinking you don’t love me any more

You slammed my face down on the barbecue grill
Now my scars are all healing, but my heart never will
You set my house on fire
You pulled out my chest hairs with an old pair of pliers

Oh, you think I’m ugly and you say I’m cheap
You shaved off my eyebrows while I was asleep
You drilled a hole in my head
Then you dumped me in a drainage ditch and left me for dead

Oh, you know this really isn’t like you at all
You never acted this way before
Honey, something tells me you don’t love me any more, oh no no
Got a funny feeling you don’t love me anymore

Source: LyricFind

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #90

#90

Achy Breaky Song

Title: “Achy Breaky Heart”

Written: Don Von Tress/Al Yankovic

Album: Alapalooza

Style: Country/Comedy

Parody: “Achy Breaky Heart” by Billy Ray Cyrus

This is a song that is famously about music that bugs some people. There are mentions of Donny and Marie, Barry Manilow, The Bee Gees etc. But above them all was the Achy Breaky Heart by Billy Ray Cyrus which inspired the whole song.

Lyrics

You can torture me
With Donnie & Marie
You can play some Barry Manilow
Or you can play some schlock
Like New Kids On The Block
Or any Village People song you know
Or play Vanilla Ice
Hey, you can play him twice
And you can play the Bee Gees any day
But Mr. DJ, please
I’m beggin’ on my knees
I just can’t take no more of Billy Ray

Don’t play that song
That “Achy Breaky” song
The most annoying song I know
And if you play that song
That “Achy Breaky” song
I might blow up my radio, ooo…

You can clear the room
By playind Debbie Boon
Or crank your Abba records until dawn
Oh, I can even hear
Slim Whitman or Zamfir
Don’t mind a Yoko Ono marathon
Or play some Tiffany
On 8-track or CD
Or scrape your fingernails across the board
Or tie me to a chair
And kick me down the stairs
Just please don’t play that stupid song no more

Don’t play that song
That “Achy Breaky” song
You know I hate that song a bunch
And if you play that song
That nauseating song
It might just make me lose my lunch, oh-

Don’t play that song
That “Achy Breaky” song
I think it’s driving me insane
Oh, please don’t play that song
That irritating song
I’d rather have a pitchfork in my brain

Don’t play that song
That “Achy Breaky” song
The most annoying song I know
And if you play that song
That “Achy Breaky” song
I might blow up my radio, ooo-woo

Source: Musixmatch

Paradise S2 E8

Spoilers

“Exodus”

What a finale.

Paradise season 2 wrapped up with episode 8 in the most explosive way…literally.

The amazing action, reunions, and new twists and redemptions.

Sinatra making the sacrifice play, did not see that coming.

Xavier reuniting with his kids was amazing. Xavier and Sinatra working together to save their daughters who were trapped in the elevator. Link and his men coming across them and jumping in to help was a wonderfully heroic moment.

Jeremy coming back with help to save Nicole Robinson, who was badly injured and who demanded that Jeremy leave her behind. He showed himself as another hero on this show and seeing him and Presley kissing at the end was sweet.

I confirmed that Sinatra’s husband, Tim Redmond, was played by Tuc Watkins, who appeared on some soap operas I watched years ago (OLTL, GH) as well as on Desperate Housewives. I thought it was him, and I Googled him to conform the role.

Discovering the identity of Alex looks to set up the next season of the show as the underground bunker in the mountain is no more. Exodus, or the evacuation of the colony was unbelievable. What will those who were in the bunker for so many years, thinking that the outside world was gone, react to the fact that the outside world is still there and livable?

Oh and, surprise, there is another bunker under the Denver airport. This seems to be where Alex is, and Alex apparently is an AI that can see the future and determine what to do from it. An AI that is thinking on its own and answering questions that haven’t been asked yet. The show always had a sci-fi element to it, but it feels as if the show has taken a bigger step into the genre.

I think I may have liked season two of this show more than I liked season one, and I thought season one was exceptional. Season two had so much going for it and it captured so much suspense and drama with the characters and the difficult situations the show placed them in. Who would have thought that Sinatra would be the redemption arc of this show?

Bring on season three!

Sha Na Na S4 E14, E15, E16, E17, E18

The series of Sha Na Na is coming close to an end as I am in the middle of season 4. Season 4 has not been my most favorite season of this show. I think a big part of that is that they have been doing a bunch of songs that I have never heard before. Part of the fun of Sha Na Na is that they were singing songs that I recognized form the 1950s and 1960s. While I appreciate that they do not repeat songs very often, a lot of these songs did not appeal to that nostalgia. They did them fine, but I just was not engaged as I should have been.

Some of these guests were scrapping the bottom of the barrel too. See if you can figure out which one of these is not like the others: Lacy J. Dalton, Joey Travolta, The Currie Sisters, Jackie DeShannon and James Brown. Yep, I said James Brown. It was a strange performance though. He did not seem to get much reaction from the Sha Na Na crowd and it seemed to bother him. I think he probably fed off the energy of the crowd a lot, and there was not much energy in the crowd.

One of the comedy bits was with the song Istanbul (Not Constantinople) and I remember learning about that country name change from this song.

They played the song “Rock ‘N Roll Music” but it was sung by Chico. While I enjoy Chico’s songs usually, it just felt like the wrong Sha Na Na singer for this song. It was originally recorded by Chuck Barry and I think it would have been better with Donny singing it. Or maybe Screamin’ Scott. Chico’s version was fine, but it just did not feel right.

There were actually several songs that felt a little off during these episodes. I wonder if they were realizing that the end was near and that the overall energy was starting to lack a bit.

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #93

#93

Generic Blues

Title: Generic Blues

Album: UHF

Release: 1989

Written: Al Yankovic

Style: Blues; typical 12-bar, slow-tempo structure, and harmonica solos.

Another one of those original songs that sneaks under the radar. I do love this song. It is such a funny song with a parody of the style of Blues.

Lyrics

I woke up this morning
Then I went back to bed
Said I woke up this morning
Then I went right back to bed
Got a funny kind of feelin’ like I got broken glass in my underwear
And a herd of wild pigs is trying to chew off my head
You know what I’m sayin’

Well I ain’t got not money
I’m just walkin’ down the road
Said I ain’t got no money, honey
So I’m just walking down this lonely old road
Well, I wish I could get me some money
But I forgot my automated teller code

I was born in a paper sack in the bottom of a sewer
I had to eat dirt clods for breakfast, my family was so poor
My daddy was a waitress, my mama sold bathroom tiles
My brothers and sisters all hated me ’cause I was an only child

I got the blues so bad, woo
Kinda wish I was dead
Maybe I’ll blow my brains out mama
Or maybe I’ll, yeah maybe I’ll just go bowlin’ instead

I’m just a no good, scum sucking, nose picking, boot licking,
Sniveling, groveling, worthless hunk of slime

Nothing but a low-down beer bellied, bone headed, pigeon toed,
Turkey necked, weasel faced, worthless hunk of slime

Guess I pretty low self image
Maybe it’s a chemical imbalance or something, I
I should probably go and see a doctor about it when I’ve got the time
Make it talk
Aw, make it talk, son, make it talk
OK, now make it shut up

Plagues and famine and pestilence always seem to get me down
I always feel so miserable whenever I’m around
I wish somebody would come along, stick a pitchfork through my brain
I’d flush myself right down the toilet, but I’d just clog up the drain

I got the blues so bad
Kinda wish I was dead
Maybe I’ll blow my brains out mama
Or maybe I’ll go bowling
Or I just might go bowling
Maybe I’ll just rent some shoes and go bowling
Maybe I’ll join a league, enter a tournament, put on a stupid looking
Shirt and go bowling instead
Yeah

Source: LyricFind

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #94

#94

Truck Drivin’ Song

Title: “Truck Drivin’ Song”

Written: Al Yankovic

Album: Running With Scissors

Released: 1999

Parody style: Country Music/truck songs

This is one of those secretively funny original songs at the end of the album that don’t get as much attention as some of the bigger parodies or style pastiches. Yet, it is really funny, setting up the image of a big, old truck driver in his dresses and with his makeup.

Lyrics

Lyrics

I’m drivin’ a truck
Drivin’ a big ol’ truck
Pedal to the metal, hope I don’t run out of luck
Rollin’ down the highway until the break of dawn
Drivin’ a truck with my high heels on

My diesel rig is northward bound
It’s time to put that hammer down
Just watchin’ as the miles go flyin’ by
I’m ridin’ twenty tons of steel
But it’s sure hard to hold the wheel
While I’m still waiting for my nails to dry

Oh, I always gotta check my lipstick in that rear view mirror
And my pink angora sweater fits so tight
I’m jammin’ gears and haulin’ freight
Well, I sure hope my seams are straight
Lord, don’t let my mascara run tonight

Because I’m drivin’ a truck
Drivin’ a big ol’ truck
Smokey’s on my tail and my accelerator’s stuck
Got these eighteen wheels a-rollin until the break of dawn
Drivin’ a truck with my high heels on

Oh, I don’t mind when my crotchless panties creep right up on me
And my nipple rings don’t bother me too much
But when I hit those big speed bumps
My darling little rhinestone pumps
Keep slippin’ off the mother-lovin’ clutch

But still I’m drivin’ a truck
Drivin’ a big ol’ truck
Headin’ down the interstate, just tryin’ to make buck
Wearin’ feather boas with sequins and chiffon
While I’m drivin’ a truck with my high heels on

I’m drivin’ a truck
Drivin’ a truck
Got a load to carry and some eyebrows left to pluck
And I’m late for my appointment down at the hair salon
So I’ll be drivin’ a truck with my high heels on

Source: LyricFind

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #96

#96

Craigslist

Title: Craigslist

Written: Al Yankovic

Released: 2009

Style parody: The Doors

Fact: Doors keyboardist played keyboards on the studio recording of the song.

Album: Alpocalypse

This song was released before the album among a group of songs called Internet Leaks, which included four new videos.

The song is an amazing style parody of The Doors. So much so that you might think it is a stright up parody of a specific song.

Lyrics

Whoa, yeah!

You’ve got a ’65 Chevy Malibu
With automatic drive
A custom paint job, too

I’ll trade you for my old wheelbarrow
And a slightly used sombrero
And I’ll even throw in a stapler, if you insist

Craigslist!
I’m on Craiglist, baby, come on!
Yeah

Well, we shared a quick glance
Saturday at the mall
I never took a chance
Never approached you at all

You were a blonde half-Asian with a bad case of gas
I was wearin’ red Speedos and a hockey mask
Come on, let’s find that love connection that we missed

On Craigslist!
Yeah, Craigslist, come on!
I’m on Craigslist
Oh, baby, maybe you are too!
Be bom ba chomb cadonk bin bam boo!

An open letter to the snotty barista
At the Coffee Bean on San Vacente Boulevard:
I know there were twenty people behind me in line
But I was on a cell phone call with my mother
Didn’t you see me hold up my index finger?
That means, “I’ll order my soy decaf hazelnut latte in just a couple minutes”
So, what’s with the attitude, lady?
No tip for you!

Got a trash can of Styrofoam peanuts
You can have ’em for free
You can drop by on the weekend
And pick ’em up from me
But the trash can ain’t part of the deal
Only givin’ you the peanuts
Get real!
Don’t have no Hefty bag, so bring your own
Don’t bug me with questions on the phone
Don’t ask for help, don’t waste my time
And don’t complain, ’cause they won’t cost you a dime
Just ask yourself:
Do you want my Styrofoam peanuts?
You can have my Styrofoam peanuts
Do you want my Styrofoam peanuts?
You can have them all

They’re on Craigslist, yeah!
Craigslist!
Ow, baby, come on!
I’m on Craigslist, Craigslist, Craigslist!
I’m on Craigslist, Craigslist, Craigslist, now

Craigslist!

Source: Musixmatch

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #99

#99

The Hot Rocks Polka

Title: The Hot Rocks Polka

Album: UHF

Written: Mick Jagger/Keith Richards/Al Yankovic

Release: 1989

Genre: Polka medley

Featured songs: It’s Only Rock ‘n Roll (But I Like It),” “Brown Sugar,” “You Can’t Always Get What You Want,” “Honky Tonk Women,” “Under My Thumb,” “Ruby Tuesday,” “Miss You,” “Sympathy for the Devil,” “Get off of My Cloud,” “Shattered,” “Let’s Spend the Night Together,” and “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction”.

The first of multiple polka medleys to appear in the Top 100, this song included songs only from the catalogue of the Rolling Stones. Usually Weird Al polkas include songs from a variety of artists, but this one breaks that trait.

Lyrics

If I could stick my hand in my heart
Spill it all over the stage
Would it satisfy you, would it slide on by you
Would you think the boy is strange?
Ain’t it stra-a-ange?

If I could win, if I could sing
A love song so divine
Would it be enough for your cheating heart
If I broke down and cried?
If I cri-i-ied?

I said, ah, no, it’s only rock ‘n’ roll, but I like it
Ah, no, it’s only rock ‘n’ roll, but I like it, like it, yes, I do
I really, really, really, really do-do-do-do-do, hey

Gold coast slave ship bound for cotton fields
Sold in a market down in New Orleans
Scarred old slaver knows he’s doing all right
Heard him with the women just around midnight
(Brown sugar)
How come you taste so good?
(Brown sugar)
Just like a young girl should

I saw her today at the reception
A glass of wine in her hand
I knew she would meet her connection
At her feet was a footloose man
You can’t always get what you want
You can’t always get what you want
You can’t always get what you want
But if you try sometimes, you might find
You get what you need

You need honky tonk women
Give me, give me, give me the honky tonk blues

Under my thumb, the girl who once had me down
Under my thumb, the girl who once pushed me around
It’s down to me, yes, it is
The way she talks when she’s spoken to
Down to me, the change has come, she’s under my thumb

So goodbye, Ruby Tuesday
Who could hang a name on you?
When you change with every new day
Still, I’m gonna miss you

Hoo-oo hoo-oo hoo-oo, hoo-oo hoo-oo hoo-oo, hoo-oo hoo-oo
Hoo-oo hoo-oo hoo-oo, hoo-oo hoo-oo hoo-oo, hoo-oo hoo-oo

Please allow me to introduce myself
I’m a man of wealth and taste
I’ve been around for a long, long year
Stole many a man’s soul and faith
Pleased to meet you, hope you guessed my name
‘Cause what’s puzzling you is the nature of my game

I said hey (hey), you (you), get off of my cloud
Hey (hey), you (you), get off of my cloud
Hey (hey), you (you), get off of my cloud
Don’t hang around, ’cause two’s a crowd

Laughter, joy and loneliness and sex and sex and sex and sex
Look at me
I’m in tatters
(Shadoobie, shattered)
I’m shattered
(Shadoobie, shattered)

This doesn’t happen to me every day, whoa, my
(Let’s spend the night together)
No excuses offered anyway, oh, my
(Let’s spend the night together)
I’ll satisfy your every need
(Every need)
And now I know you’ll satisfy me
My-my-my-my, my-my-my
Let’s spend the night together
Now I need you more than ever
Let’s spend the night together
Now
(My-my-my-my, my-my-my)

I can’t get no satisfaction
I can’t get no girly action
‘Cause I’ve tried (and I’ve tried) and I’ve tried (and I’ve tried)
And I’ve tried (and I’ve tried) and I’ve tried (and I’ve tried)
I can’t get no
I can’t get no
I can’t get no
Satisfaction, satisfaction, satisfaction
Hey

Source: Musixmatch

Lazy Sunday Afternoon

Good afternoon from EYG.

I was sitting here, preparing to get started on the EYG Comic Cavalcade when I decided that I was feeling tired. I have been battling a cold over the last couple of days (since I went to the doctor’s office to renew my medication… coincidence???) and I decided that I would lay down and just relax for a bit.

I took a short little nap, not fully asleep, but enough to feel happy about the time. It is something that I do not usually allow myself, so this felt special. I have no school tomorrow because of Presidents’ Day and so this was a nice afternoon. I do hope that I will not pay for this tonight. In the past, when I have taken a nap in the afternoon, I struggled to get to sleep that night. I do think my body was telling me that I needed the shut eye and I hope it will not throw off my sleep pattern.

There were a few things running through my head while I was resting. First was the fact that I have a current run of 997 consecutive days of posting at EYG on Word Press. That has been a fun fact as we have been building on the streak, but I realized something the other day. Around a week and a half ago, I saw the number and I wondered when the actual day would be for the 1000th consecutive post. When I counted, it turned out that day 1000 would occur on my birthday! How fun! So this coming Wednesday, unless there is some massive major event, I will post my 1000th consecutive day on my 57th birthday.

Speaking of birthdays, my friend Shane just celebrated his yesterday on Valentine’s Day. Shane was one of the four original Embrace Your Geekness guys. In fact, he had asked me a question about whether I preferred Avengers or X-Men, to which I replied Avengers. He was surprised by that and then he made some comment about excuse his geekness. My response was to not be ashamed and to “embrace your geekness.” And so it went on. So happy birthday, Shane.

Well, I should get back to getting the Comic Cavalcade ready to go. I did love the lazy Sunday afternoon though.

The Pitt S2 E6

Spoilers

“12:00 PM”

I have been dreading this episode since the beginning of the season. All the hints and foreshadowing was there, but I tried my best to ignore them.

Then, last week, the show ended with Louie nonresponsive and Robby and Langdon trying to revive him.

Of course, that is where the show picked up this week and we watched as this secondary character died of a pulmonary hemorrhage due t liver failure. Louie had been a drinker, we knew. We just never knew what had led to the drinking.

During the debrief and the chance to say goodbye, Robby told the whole group assembled that Louie had been married and that his wife and unborn child had died in a car wreck and that Louie had never been the same after.

Ernest Harden Jr. played the role of Louie and you can tell how great of an actor he was when he was a side character that only had a bit of screen time and yet his character’s death impacted me dramatically.

This episode featured the nurses of the Pitt more than we had gotten prior, which was a long overdue look. There were other arcs to the episode, my absolutely most hated one was the hot dog competitor. I hate vomit scenes and this had two of them. I really hated that and I am glad he seemed to be a one and done arc.

However, the episode belonged to Louie and the grief that the staff showed. It was poignant when we discovered that the ER was Louie’s emergency contact.

Then, there was Ogilvie, whom I have not liked much this new season, but now I hate him for his callousness tied to Louie’s death. The way he broke the news to Whitaker so carelessly and his comment about “an alcohol abuser” was heartless. I am cheering for this guy to flame out in the program.

Emotional episode and we are still only six episodes in.

I Forgot

E.M.

One day an author wrote a story that had 5 characters.The story was about 5 old people playing cars and their names were Joe, Bob, Sherrill, Kathy and there was a 5 person. But who was that 5th person? It was a mystery. But they were determined to find out who this person was. 

So they began their first game of cards. Joe drew first and picked up 3 spades. Next the mystery person went, they all examined his face to see if they could remember who he was or if they even knew who he was.

Once the first game of cards was done it was sherrill who won and they then decided to go get some food and learn more about this mystery person. 

They all ordered chicken because everybody likes chicken and once they got their food they began to question the man. They asked him things like; where he was from, how he randomly showed up with them, what his favorite color was, etc. They learned that his favorite color was orange but they couldn’t remember anything else. 

Wait a minute they all thought, why can’t we remember anything he just told us? And then they remembered, they had all been diagnosed with a disease but they couldn’t remember the name. 

Then the secret man told him, you all have dementia and I am your caretaker. They were all confused what dementia was and why they needed a caretaker. So the doctor explained to them that dementia meant that they were beginning to not remember everything. But they were confused and they didn’t think they were forgetting anything at all. They believed he was lying to them and he was a fake caretaker and called the police on him. But they couldn’t remember what number it was to call the police. So the question remained, was this a fake caretaker or did they really have this dementia disease?

The Homeless Crime

The Homeless Crime

By: L.M 

There was this homeless man. 

“I’m going to try and get money!”

So the day after he went around the city and found as many clothes he could find, it didn’t matter the color. After he found what he could he put the clothes on over his other clothes that he had on and went back to his box to sleep for that night because it was getting dark outside. 

It is now the next day the homeless man woke up, He was hungry of course but there was no food around that’s why he wanted money.  After thinking about how to get money he remembered the clothes he found and he was going to use them to rob a bank for at least $1,000, he wanted at least that much because he didn’t want to starve. He was fine with sleeping in a box but having no food was not acceptable with his standards.

 Now It’s 9:15 AM now the homeless man thought that he shouldn’t rob a bank yet, he thought about going and stealing peoples wallets. He thought about it for 28 minutes and he decided that it was a good idea so he put on those clothes that he found and did just that. After a long time it was now 12:45 PM, He had gotten 3 wallets, the money that was in the wallets added up to $51 with that cash. He remembered that he lived by a GoodWill, so he went into the GoodWill and bought a pair of pants, shirt, gloves, winter hat, socks and shoes the cost of all that was $20.39 with tax.

Now he goes to a place called McDonald’s and just gets some fries for $3.86 with tax. But only the fries didn’t fill him up because he hasn’t eaten in 3 days so he went back into Mcdonald’s and ordered 2 Big Mac meals For $16.46 Including tax. With purchasing all that stuff he is left with $10.29. After that he went to a home depot to get a ski mask for $5.08 and now the homeless man will steal wallets for a living until he can get a job.

THE END

Sha Na Na S1 E22, E23, E24

I finished up Sha Na Na’s first season on YouTube this morning with three pretty good episodes. I do believe that some of the errors that the show did in the first half of their first season were addressed midway through and it did seem better.

Episode 22 kicked off with Blue Moon, which was strange because I am almost certain that that song has already been done on the show. I don’t think that it was just the pilot episode either. I didn’t go back through my reviews to see, but it felt very familiar. The last song of the season was sung by Dirty Dan, and it was Dream Lover, which, again, I thought I had already heard this season. I’m not sure it was a good sign if they were repeating songs just during their first season.

They continued with the musical acts as guest stars instead of comedians or actors. Dion, Marth Reeves and the Vandellas and Bobby Vee all were able to perform and added so much to each episode. The poor comedy was kept to a minimum and the show became more of a musical variety show.

Martha Reeves stuck around after her song and did some jokes with Bowzer and Lennie, both of which were funny. You can do that if it is written well.

Sha Na Na does a fantastic job of finding the right voices to blend together. They had the song Charlie Brown sung by Screamin’ Scott and Jocko, and they sounded great together. Then, they had their best singers< Johnny, Bowzer, Donny, Santini and Denny doing Remember Then, which is sensational.

In episode 23, they did one of the comedy bits where they all dress up and they called it Swine Lake. At first, I thought to myself, “What am I watching?” but as it went on, I started picturing it as an act on the Muppet Show. Had this been the pigs from the Muppets doing this “ballet” I wouldn’t have blinked at it. So, by making Sha Na Na human Muppets, I found much more enjoyment in the skit than I would have before.

Avery Schreiber, who has been a cabbie all season long, came into the diner and did a skit/song where he danced like a robot. It was a bizarre moment. It was another that kind of grew on me and I liked the effort of him doing something different than just drive his cab onto the set and bring the guest star. Apparently, the song was called Mechanical Man and it was a song Avery Schreiber wrote the song as a way to express his unhappiness over how he was being seen as an actor.

Dirty Dan had several songs in this block of three including Dream Lover, Da Do Run Run, and part of the Mexican skit in episode 22.

The comedy bit song in the 24th episode was Ahab the Arab, which was a song b Ray Stevens. I was surprised, since I thought this was too recent for Sha Na Na to do it. However, I did a quick Google search and it said that the song was released in 1962, meaning it fell right into Sha Na Na’s wheelhouse.

This brings to a close season one of the variety show. I am curious to see if there are any changes from season one to two or if the changes they made in the middle of season one will just continue.