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Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #20

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#20

It’s All About the Pentiums

Title: “It’s All About the Pentiums”

Album: Running With Scissors

Released: 1999

Parody: “It’s All About the Benjamins” by Puff Daddy

Written: Sean Combs / Kimberly Jones / David Styles / Sean Jacobs / Jason Phillips / Christopher Wallace / Terry M. Etlinger / Linda Laurie / Deric Angelettie / Al Yankovic

Genre: Rap/Comedy

Topic: Computers

We enter the Top 20 of the Top 100 with one of Weird Al’s first examples of his skill in rapping.

Lyrics

It’s all about the Pentiums, baby
Uhh, uh-huh, yeah
Uhh, uh-huh, yeah
It’s all about the Pentiums, baby
It’s all about the Pentiums, baby
It’s all about the Pentiums! (it’s all about the Pentiums, baby)
It’s all about the Pentiums! (it’s all about the Pentiums, baby)
Yeah

What y’all wanna do?
Wanna be hackers? Code crackers? Slackers
Wastin’ time with all the chatroom yakkers?
Nine to five, chillin’ at Hewlett Packard?
Workin’ at a desk with a dumb little placard?
Yeah, payin’ the bills with my mad programming skills
Defraggin’ my hard drive for thrills
I got me a hundred gigabytes of RAM
I never feed trolls and I don’t read spam
Installed a T1 line in my house
Always at my PC, double-clickin’ on my mizouse
Upgrade my system at least twice a day
I’m strictly plug-and-play, I ain’t afraid of Y2K
I’m down with Bill Gates, I call him Money for short
I phone him up at home and I make him do my tech support
It’s all about the Pentiums, what?
You’ve gotta be the dumbest newbie I’ve ever seen
You’ve got white-out all over your screen
You think your Commodore 64 is really neato
What kinda chip you got in there, a Dorito?
You’re usin’ a 286? Don’t make me laugh
Your Windows boots up in what, a day and a half?
You could back up your whole hard drive on a floppy diskette
You’re the biggest joke on the Internet
Your database is a disaster
You’re waxin’ your modem, tryin’ to make it go faster
Hey fella, I bet you’re still livin’ in your parents’ cellar
Downloadin’ pictures of Sarah Michelle Gellar
And postin’ “Me too!” like some brain-dead AOL-er
I should do the world a favor and cap you like Old Yeller
You’re just about as useless as jpegs to Hellen Keller

It’s all about the Pentiums! (it’s all about the Pentiums, baby)
It’s all about the Pentiums! (it’s all about the Pentiums, baby)
It’s all about the Pentiums! (it’s all about the Pentiums, baby)
It’s all about the Pentiums! (it’s all about the Pentiums, baby)

Now, what y’all wanna do?
Wanna be hackers? Code crackers? Slackers
Wastin’ time with all the chatroom yakkers?
Nine to five, chillin’ at Hewlett Packard?

Uh, uh, loggin’ in now
Wanna run wit my crew, hah?
Rule cyberspace and crunch numbers like I do?
They call me the king of the spreadsheets
Got ’em all printed out on my bedsheets
My new computer’s got the clocks, it rocks
But it was obsolete before I opened the box
You say you’ve had your desktop for over a week?
Throw that junk away, man, it’s an antique
Your laptop is a month old? Well that’s great
If you could use a nice, heavy paperweight
My digital media is write-protected
Every file inspected, no viruses detected
I beta tested every operating system
Gave props to some, and others? I dissed ’em
While your computer’s crashin’, mine’s multitaskin’
It does all my work without me even askin’
Got a flat-screen monitor forty inches wide
I believe that your says “Etch-A-Sketch” on the side
In a 32-bit world, you’re a 2-bit user
You’ve got your own newsgroup, alt.total-loser
Your motherboard melts when you try to send a fax
Where’d you get your CPU, in a box of Cracker Jacks?
Play me online? Well, you know that I’ll beat you
If I ever meet you I’ll control-alt-delete you
What? What? What? What? What?

It’s all about the Pentiums! (it’s all about the Pentiums, baby)
It’s all about the Pentiums! (it’s all about the Pentiums, baby)
It’s all about the Pentiums! (it’s all about the Pentiums, baby)
It’s all about the Pentiums! (it’s all about the Pentiums, baby)

Now, what y’all wanna do?
Wanna be hackers? Code crackers? Slackers
Wastin’ time with all the chatroom yakkers?
Nive to five, chillin’ at Hewlett Packard?
What?

Source: Musixmatch

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs#23

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#23

Angry White Boy Polka

Title: “Angry White Boy Polka”

Album: Poodle Hat

Released: 2003

Genre: Polka/Comedy

Written: Alfred Matthew Yankovic / Jerry Allan Horton / Tobin Esperance / Dave Buckner / Jacoby Dakota Shaddix

Songs included: “Last Resort,” “Chop Suey,” “Get Free,” “Hate To Say I Told You So,” “Fell In Love With A Girl,” “Last Nite,” “Down With The Sickness,” “Renegades Of Funk,” “My Way,” “Outside,” “Bawitdaba,” “Youth Of The Nation,” and “The Real Slim Shady.”

I am not sure that I had ever heard any of these songs prior to the polka, so it is always fun when I happen to hear a lyric from a song and i think, “Hey, that’s Weird Al’s song!”

Lyrics

Cut my life into pieces
This is my last resort
Suffocation, no breathing
Don’t give a- if I cut my arm bleeding
This is my last resort

‘Cause I’m losing my sight, losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I’m fine
Losing my sight, losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I’m fine
Nothing’s all right, nothing is fine
I’m running and a-crying

Wake up (Wake up)
Grab a brush and put a little make-up
Hide the scars to fade away the shakeup
Why’d you leave the keys upon the table?
Here you go create another fable
You wanted to
Grab a brush and put a little makeup
You wanted to
Hide the scars to fade away the shakeup
You wanted to
Why’d you leave the keys upon the table?
You wanted to
I don’t think you trust
In my self-righteous suicide
I cry when angels deserve to die, die, die
D-d-die die die die die

Hey
I’m gonna get free
I’m gonna get free
I’m gonna get free
Ride into the sun
She never loved me
She never loved me
She never loved me
Why should anyone?
Come here, come here, come here I’ll take your photo for ya
Come here, come here, come here Drive you around the corner
Come here, come here, come here You know you really oughta
Come here, come here, come here Move out to California

Do what I want ’cause I can
If I don’t because I wanna
Be ignored by the stiff and the bored
Because I’m gonna
Hate to say I told you so (all right)
Do believe I told you so
Now it’s all out and you knew
‘Cause I wanted to

Fell in love with a girl
I fell in love at once and almost completely
She’s in love with the world
But sometimes these feelings can be so misleading
Can’t think of anything to do
Yeah, my left brain knows that all love is fleeting
She’s just looking for something new
Yeah, I said it once before but it bears repeating, now

Last night, she said
“Oh baby, don’t you feel so down” (feel so down)
“When you turn me off
“When I feel left out”
So I (what’d you do?)
Well, I turned around (right around)
“Oh, baby, gonna be alright” (gonna be alright)
It was a great big lie (big old lie)
‘Cause I left that night
Yeah

Ooh ah ah ah ah
Ooh ah ah ah ah
Get up
Come on get down with the sickness
Get up
Come on get down with the sickness
Get up
Come on get down with the sickness
Open up your hate and let it flow into me
Get up
Come on get down with the sickness
You mother get up
Come on get down with the sickness
Get up
Come on get down with the sickness
Madness is the gift that has been given to me

We’re the renegades of funk
We’re the renegades of funk
We’re the renegades of funk
We’re the renegades of funk
This time I’m’a let it all come out
This time I’m’a stand up and shout
I’m a do things my way
It’s my way
My way or the highway
This time I’m’a let it all come out
This time I’m’a stand up and shout
I’m a do things my way
It’s my way
Or the highway

But I’m on the outside
I’m looking in
I can see through you
See your true colors
‘Cause inside you’re ugly
Ugly like me
I can see through you
See to the real you

Bawitdaba da bang da dang diggy diggy
Diggy said the boogie said up jump the boogie
Bawitdaba da bang da dang diggy diggy
Diggy said the boogie said up jump the boogie

We are, we are
The youth of the nation
We are, we are
The youth of the nation

We are, we are
The youth of the nation
We are the youth of the nation Hey

I’m Slim Shady, yes I’m the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won’t the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up
Please stand up

I’m Slim Shady, yes I’m the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won’t the real Slim Shady please
Please, please stand up

Slim Shady won’t you please stand up?
(Stand up Shady)(Stand up)
(Stand up Shady)(Stand up)
Shady, won’t you please stand up?
Hey

Source: Musixmatch

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #24

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#24

Ebay

Title: “Ebay”

Album: Poodle Hat

Released: 2003

Parody: “I Want It That Way” by Backstreet Boys

Written: Martin Karl Sandberg / Andreas Michael Carlsson / Al Yankovic

Style: Pop/Comedy

Topic: an obsessive shopper and the online website, eBay.

The song ends with several “EEEEE”s after the ending of the official lyrics. It is a very funny bit and the parody hits too close to home as I do love me some eBay.

Lyrics

Yeah

A used pink bathrobe
A rare mint snow globe
A Smurf TV tray
I bought on eBay

My house is filled with this crap
Shows up in bubble wrap
Most every day
What I bought on eBay

Tell me why I need another pet rock
Tell me why I got that elf alarm clock
Tell me why I bid on Shatner’s old toupee
They had it on eBay

I’ll buy your knick-knack
Just check my feedback
A plus-plus, they all say
They love me on eBay

Gonna buy a slightly damaged golf bag
Gonna buy some beanie babies, new with tag
From some guy I’ve never met in Norway
Found him on Ebay

I am the type who is liable to snipe you
With two seconds left to go, whoa
Got PayPal or Visa, whatever’ll please ya
As long as I’ve got the dough

I’ll buy your Tchotchkes
Sell me your watch, please
I’ll buy (I’ll buy, I’ll buy, I’ll buy)
I’m highest bidder

Junk keeps arriving in the mail (now, yeah)
From that worldwide garage sale (Dukes of Hazard ashtray)
Hey, a Dukes of Hazard ashtray (oh, yeah)
I bought it on eBay

Wanna buy a Pac-Man Fever lunchbox
Wanna buy a case of Vintage tube socks
Wanna buy a Kleenex used by Dr. Dre (used by Dr. Dre)
Found it on eBay

Wanna buy that Farrah Fawcet poster
Pez dispensers and a toaster
Don’t know why
The kind of stuff you’d throw away (away I throw)
I’ll buy on eBay

What I bought on eBay

Source: Musixmatch

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #35

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#35

Party in the CIA

Title: “Party in the CIA”

Album: Alpocalypse

Released: 2011

Parody: “Party in the USA” by Miley Cyrus

Written: Lukasz Gottwald / Claude Kelly / Jessica Cornish/Al Yankovic

Genre: Pop/Comedy

Topic: The dark, cloak-and-dagger operations of the Central Intelligence Agency

The dark comedic song is in direct opposition to the happy, upbeat music. This is a ton of fun and the animated video that was released with the song was hilarious.

Lyrics

I moved out to Langley recently
With a plain and simple dream
Wanna infiltrate some third-world place
And topple their regime

Those men in black with their matching suitcases
Where everything’s on a need-to-know basis
Agents got that swagger
And everyone so cloak and dagger

I’m feeling nervous but I’m really kinda wishing
For another undercover mission
That’s when the red alert came on the radio
And I put my earpiece on
Got my dark sunglasses on
And I had my weapon drawn

So I get my handcuffs, my cyanide pills
My classified dossier
Tapping the phones like, yeah
Shredding the files like, yeah

I memorized all the enemy spies
I’ve got to neutralize today
Yeah, it’s a party in the CIA
Yeah, it’s a party in the CIA

I’ve done a couple of crazy things
That have almost gotten me dismissed
Like terminate some head of state
Who wasn’t even on my list

Burn that microfilm, buddy, will you?
I’d tell you why but then I’d have to kill you
You need a quickie confession?
Well, start a water boarding session

No hurry on this South American dictator
I’ll assassinate him later
That’s when he walked right in my laser sights
And my silencer was on
And my silencer was on
And another target’s gone

Yeah, we’ve got black ops all over the world
From Kazakhstan to Bombay
Paying the bribes like, yeah
Plugging the leaks like, yeah

Interrogating the scum of the earth
We’ll break them by the break of day
Yeah, it’s a party in the CIA
Yeah, it’s a party in the CIA

Need a country destabilized?
Look no further, we’re your guys
We’ve got snazzy suits and ties
And a better dental plan than the FBI’s

Better put your hands up and get in the van
Or else you’ll get blown away
Staging a coup like, yeah
Brainwashing moles like, yeah

We only torture the folks we don’t like
You’re probably gonna okay
Yeah, it’s a party in the CIA
Yeah, it’s a party in the CIA

Source: Musixmatch

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #36

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#36

Don’t Download This Song

Title: “Don’t Download This Song”

Album: Straight Outta Lynwood

Released: 2006

Written: Al Yankovic

Genre: Comedy pop/Gospel

Style Pastiche: “We Are the World”, “Voices That Care”, “Hands Across America”, “Heal the World” and other similar charity songs

Topic: The illegal downloading of music from the internet

One of the more out of date Weird Al songs, Don’t Download This Song is still a personal favorite. Even with the song involving things that are not things anymore, this is funny and a great musical song.

Lyrics

Once in a while maybe you will feel the urge
To break international copyright law
By downloading MP3’s from file sharing sites
Like Morpheus or Grokster or LimeWire or KaZaA
But deep in your heart you know the guilt would drive you mad
And the shame would leave a permanent scar
‘Cause you start out stealing songs, and then you’re robbing liquor stores
And selling crack and running over school kids with your car

So don’t download this song
The record store’s where you belong
Go and buy the CD like you know that you should
Oh don’t download this song

Oh you don’t want to mess with the RIAA
They’ll sue you if you burn that CDR
It doesn’t matter if you’re a grandma or a seven year old girl
They’ll treat you like the evil, hard bitten criminal scum you are

So don’t download this song
Don’t go pirating music all day long
Go and buy the CD like you know that you should
Oh, don’t download this song

Don’t take away money from artists just like me
How else can I afford another solid gold Humvee?
And diamond studded swimming pools, these things don’t grow on trees
So all I ask is everybody, please

Don’t download this song (don’t do it, no, no)
Even Lars Ulrich knows it’s wrong (you can just ask him)
Go and buy the CD like you know that you should (you really should)
Oh, don’t download this song

Don’t download this song (Oh please don’t you do it)
Or you might wind up in jail like Tommy Chong (remember Tommy)
Go and buy the CD (right now) like you know that you should (go out and buy it)
Oh don’t download this song

Don’t download this song (no no no no no no)
Or you’ll burn in hell before too long (and you’d deserve it)
Go and buy the CD (just buy it) like you know that you should (ya cheap bastard)
Oh, don’t download this song

Source: LyricFind

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #37

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#37

Stop Forwarding That Crap to Me

Title: “Stop Forwarding That Crap to Me”

Album: Alpocalyse

Release: 2011

Written: Al Yankovic

Genre: Dramatic, Theatrical Rock

Style Parody: Jim Steinman

Topic: Sending stupid things across the internet/email

Lyrics

Oh, the sand keeps fallin’ through the hourglass
And there’s no way you’re gonna slow it down
You say, “We gotta treasure each moment
Who knows how long we’re gonna be around?”
Yeah, you keep on telling me life is short
And it’s hard to disagree with what you say
But if time is so precious, why you wastin’ mine?
‘Cause I’m always reading, always deleting
Every useless piece of garbage that you send my way

Every stupid hoax (ooh), all those corny jokes
Stop forwarding that crap to me
Well, I don’t need tons of cringe-inducing puns (ooh)
Stop forwarding that crap to me
No, it isn’t okay if you brighten my day (ah)
With some cut and pasted hackneyed Hallmark poetry
And I didn’t request a personality test (ooh)
Stop forwarding that crap to me
(Ah-ah-ah)

You’re sending virus-laden, bandwidth-hogging attachments
To every single person you know (ah)
You’re passin’ ’round a link to some dumb thing on YouTube
That everybody else already saw three years ago (ah)
And wacky, badly photoshopped billboards
Were never that amusing to me (ah)
And I just can’t believe you believe those urban legends
But I have high hopes someone’ll point you towards Snopes
And debunk that crazy junk you’re spewing constantly

No, I don’t want a bowl of Chicken Soup For the Soul (ooh)
Stop forwarding that crap to me
Send more top ten lists and I’ll slash my wrists (ooh)
Stop forwarding that crap to me
Well, I’m sorry I can’t accept your paranoid rant (ah, ah)
And I don’t want the Neiman-Marcus cookie recipe
Won’t you kindly refrain? ‘Cause it’s hurting my brain
Stop forwarding that crap to me

Like glittery hearts and unicorns and pictures of somebody’s cat
Now tell me
In what alternate reality would I care about something like that?
And by the way
Your quotes from George Carlin aren’t really George Carlin
Mr. Rogers never fought the Viet-Cong
And Bill Gates is never gonna give me something for nothing (ah)
And I highly doubt some dead girl’s gonna kill me
If I don’t pass your letter along

Well, now I know you’re wishin’ I’ll sign your petition
But stop forwarding that crap to me
And I don’t wanna read your series of conspiracy theories
Just stop forwarding that crap to me
And your two million loser friends all have my address now (ah)
‘Cause you never figured out the way to BCC
Now I gotta insist (ooh)
Take me off of your list (ooh)
Stop forwarding that crap to me (ah)

just stop it now
(Stop forwarding that crap to me) oh, no
(Stop forwarding that crap to me) whoa

I can’t take it
(Stop forwarding that crap to me) oh, please
(Stop forwarding that crap to me)

At the risk of being slightly repetitious (ah)
Gonna ask you now to stop (stop)
Sending me that (crap)
I don’t want it (ah)
Don’t send it to me, no, don’t send it to me

Stop forwarding that crap to me, to me
(Ah-ah-ah)

Source: Musixmatch

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #44

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#44

A Complicated Song

Title: “A Complicated Song”

Written: Graham Edwards / Lauren Christy / Avril Ramona Lavigne / David Scott Alspach/Al Yankovic

Album: Poodle Hat

Release: 2003

Parody: “Complicated” by Avril Lavigne

Genre: Pop/Punk

Poodle Hat finally breaks through as the final Weird Al album represented in the Top 100 with A Complicated song, which breaks into three separate stories. Some of the stories are silly, but a lot of fun.

Lyrics

Uh huh… extra cheese
Uh huh, uh huh… save a piece for me

Pizza party at your house
I went just to check it out
19 extra larges
What a shame
No one came

Just us eatin’ all alone
You said, “Take the pizza home”
“No sense lettin’ all this go to waste”
So then I faced

Pizza all day
And every day
This cheese ’round the clock
Is gettin’ me blocked
And I sure don’t care
For irregularity

Tell me
Why’d you have to go and make me so constipated?
‘Cause right now I’d do anything to just get my bowels evacuated
In the bathroom… I sit and I wait and I strain
And I sweat and I clench and I feel the pain
Oh, should I take laxatives or have my colon irrigated?
No no no

I was feelin’ pretty down
‘Till my girlfriend came around
We’re just so alike in every way
I gotta say

In fact, I just thought I might
Pop the question there that night
I was kissing her so tenderly
But woe is me

Who would have guessed
Her family crest
I’d suddely spy
Tattooed on her thigh
And son-of-a-gun
It’s just like the one on me

Tell me
How was I supposed to know we were both related?
Believe me, if I knew she was my cousin we never would have dated
What to do now? Should I go ahead and propose
And get hitched and have kids with 11 toes
And move to Alabama where that kind of thing is tolerated?
No no no no no no no
No no no no no no no
No no no no no

I had so much on my mind
I thought maybe I’d unwind
Try out that new roller coaster ride
And the guide

Said not to stand
But that’s a demand
That I couldn’t meet
I got on my feet
And stood up instead
And knocked off my head, you see

Tell me
Why’d I have to go and get myself decapitated?
This really is a major inconvenience, oh man, I really hate it
Such a drag, now… can’t eat, I can’t breathe, I can’t snore
I can’t belch or yodel anymore
Can’t spit or blow my nose or even read Sports Illustrated

Oh no
Why’d I have to go and get myself all mutilated? (yeah, yeah)
I gotta tell ya, life without a head kinda makes me irritated
What a bummer
Can’t blink, I can’t cough, I can’t sneeeze
But my neck is enjoyin’ a pleasant breeze now
Haven’t been the same since my head and I were separated
No no no

Source: Musixmatch

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #45

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#45

Bedrock Anthem

Title: “Bedrock Anthem”

Album: Alapalooza

Release: 1993

Parody: “Under the Bridge” and “Give It Away” by Red Hot Chili Peppers

Written: Chad Smith / John Frusciante / Anthony Kiedis / Michael Balzary / Alfred Yankovic

Genre: Funk rock

This is another TV show that Al honors in song as this time it is the Flintstones. There are voice clips from the Flintstones on the song.

Lyrics

Sometimes, I feel like I need a vacation
Sometimes, I feel like I wanna go to the city of cavemen, the city of Bedrock
I’d be a Flintstone, now, I’ll tell you why

Oh
Oh
Oh!

Well, I’ve got, I’ve got a woman named, Wilma
Well, I’ve got, I’ve got a baby named Pebbles
Well, I’ve got, I’ve got a doggy named Dino
We do a little bowling and we drink a little vino

Well, I’ve got a little buddy, Barney Rubble
Got a neighbor by the name of Barney Rubble
He’s a midget but, he makes a lot of trouble
Doesn’t like to shave, he got caveman stubble

Me and Barney, loyal order water buffalo
Lodge brothers, loyal order water buffalo
There’s a handshake everybody gotta know
How come grand Poo-Bah always gotta run the whole show?

Yabba-dabba-yabba-dabba-dabba do now
Yabba-dabba-yabba-dabba-dabba do now
Yabba-dabba-yabba-dabba-dabba do now
I get by on all my prehistoric know-how

Betty and Barney got a baby, named, Bamm-Bamm
Little Pebbles is his number one fan
He’s the strongest toddler in the whole land
Tear your arm off, if he’s shaking your hand

Got a car, gonna push it with my feet now
Gonna take my family out to eat now
Jumbo ribs at the drive-in can’t be beat now
Made from brontosaurus, baby, not a moo-cow

Wanna chill with a saber tooth tiger
Wear a loincloth, natural fiber
Be the first rolling stone subscriber
Got a pterodactyl for a windshield wiper

Yabba-dabba-yabba-dabba-dabba do now
Yabba-dabba-yabba-dabba-dabba do now
Yabba-dabba-yabba-dabba-dabba do now
Don’t know what it means, but I say it anyhow

Wilma, I’m home! Start serving dinner
And don’t spare the-
Oh, no, no, no! Don’t Dino, don’t!
Now take it easy, boy!

Lucky me, workin’ down in the gravel pit
Movin’ rocks, on a big dinosaur I sit
Mr. Slate gets mad, and he throws a fit
Pull the birdie’s tail, everybody knows it’s time to quit

I realize I’m living in the Stone Age
No fax, no cellular phone-age
Pick my teeth with a dinosaur bone-age
Liftin’ heavy boulders every day for my wage

Barney Rubble, laughin’ like a hyena
Barney Rubble, what a little wiener!
Where’s Wilma? Anybody seen her?
Got a baby elephant vacuum cleaner

Yabba-dabba-yabba-dabba-dabba do now
Yabba-dabba-yabba-dabba-dabba do now
Yabba-dabba-yabba-dabba-dabba do now
Yabba-dabba-yabba-dabba-dabba do now

Yabba-dabba-dabba do now
Yabba-dabba-dabba do now
Yabba-dabba-dabba do now
Yabba-dabba-dabba do now

Yabba-dabba-dabba do now
Yabba-dabba-dabba do now
(E-yabba-dabba-do)
Yabba-dabba-dabba do now
Yabba-dabba-dabba do now

Yabba-dabba-dabba do now
Yabba-dabba-dabba do now
(E-yabba-dabba-do)
Yabba-dabba-dabba do now
Yabba-dabba-dabba do now

Now, that’s alright
Oh, boy!

Source: Musixmatch

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #46

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#46

Livin’ in the Fridge

Title: “Livin’ in the Fridge”

Album: Alapalooza

Released: 1993

Parody: “Livin’ on the Edge” by Aerosmith

Written: Joe Perry / Mark Hudson / Steven Tyler/Al Yankovic

Genre: Hard rock

Weird Al has been well known in his appreciation of food. He has said many tiomes that he loves food because it has kept him alive. This is the opposite of that as he describes that food that has spent too many days (weeks?) in the refrigerator and has become something akin to a science experiment. In the same vein as George Carlin’s “Icebox Man,” “Livin’ in the Fridge” had a special appearance on The Weird Al Show.

Lyrics

There’s somethin’ weird in the fridge today
I don’t know what it is
Food I can’t recognize
My roommate won’t throw a thing away
I guess it’s probably his
It looks like it’s alive

And livin’ in the fridge
Livin’ in the fridge
Livin’ in the fridge
Livin’ in the fridge

There’s somethin’ gross in the fridge today
It’s green and growin’ hair
It’s been there since July
If you can name the object
In that baggie over there
Then mister, you’re a better man than I

It’s livin’ in the fridge
You can’t stop the mold from growin’
Livin’ in the fridge
Can’t tell what it is at all
Livin’ in the fridge
You can’t stop the mold from growin’
Livin’ in the fridge

Tell me, do you think it should be carbon-dated
Fumigated or cremated and buried at sea?
You try to save a little bit of your home cookin’
Couple weeks later, got a scary-lookin’ specimen
It always happens, my friend
Again & again & again & again

Somethin’ stinks in the fridge today
And it’s been rottin’ there all week
It could be liver cake or woolly mammoth steak
Well, maybe I should another peek

Livin’ in the fridge
(You can’t stop the mold from growin’)
Livin’ in the fridge
(Can’t tell what it is at all)
Livin’ in the fridge
(You can’t stop the mold from growin’)
Livin’ in the fridge
Livin’ in the fridge
(Don’t know what it is, don’t know what it is)
Livin’ in the fridge
(Don’t know what it is, don’t know what it is)
Livin’ in the fridge
Don’t know what it is at all
Livin’ in the fridge, yeah

Source: Musixmatch

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #47

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#47

Pretty Fly for a Rabbi

Title: “Pretty Fly for a Rabbi”

Album: Running With Scissors

Released: 1999

Written: Dexter Holland/Al Yankovic

Extra voices: Tress MacNeille (“How ya doin’ Bernie?”) and Mary Kay Bergman (“For a rabbi!”)

Parody: “Pretty Fly for a White Guy” by the Offspring

Genre: Pop Punk/Comedy

Oy Vey! Lots of Yiddish phrases used in this song, which may not have aged as well as some of Al’s other songs. Still, this is a well done parody and is very funny.

Lyrics

Oy vey, oy vey!
(How ya doin’, Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey!
(How ya doin’, Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey!
And all the goyim say I’m pretty fly for a rabbi

Meccha leccha hi, meccha hiney hiney ho

Our temple’s had a fair share of rabbis in the past
But most of’em were nudniks and none of’em would last
But our new guy’s real kosher, I think he’ll do the trick
I tell ya, he’s to die for, he really knows his shtick

So how’s by you? Have you seen this Jew?
Reads the Torah, does his own accounting too
Working’ like a dog at the synagogue
He’s there all day, he’s there all day

Just say “Vay is mir!” and he’ll kick into gear
He’ll bring you lots of cheer and maybe bagels with some shmeer
Just grab your yarmulka and
Hey! Hey! Do that Hebrew thing!

Oy vey, oy vey!
(How ya doin’, Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey!
(How ya doin’, Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey!
And all the goyim say I’m pretty fly (for a rabbi)

He shops at discount stores, not just any will suffice
He has to find a bargain ’cause he won’t pay retail price
He never acts meshugga and he’s hardly a schlemiel
But if you want to haggle, oy, he’ll make you such a deal!

People used to scoff, now they say “Mazel tov!”
He’s such a macher ’cause he works his tuchis off
Yeah, he keeps his cool and teaches shul
What’s not to like? What’s not to like?

Oh high holy days, you know he prays and prays
And he never eats pastrami on white bread with mayonnaise
Put on your yarmulka and
Hey! Hey! Do that Hebrew thing!

When he’s doing a Bar Mitzvah, now that you shouldn’t miss
He’ll always shlep on down for a wedding or a briss
They say he’s got a lot of chutzpah, he’s really quite hip
The parents pay the moyl and he gets to keep the tip!

Oy vey, oy vey!
(How ya doin’, Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey!
(How ya doin’, Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey!

Meccha leccha hi, meccha meccha cholly ho

He’s doin’ well, I gotta kvell
The yentas love him, even shicksas think he’s swell
Show up at his home, he says, “Shalom!”
And “Have some cake, you want some cake?”

Yeah he calls the shots, we really love him lots
Oy gevalt, I’m so ferklempt that I could plotz!
So grab your yarmulka
The one you got for Hanukah

Let’s put on our yarmulkas and
Hey! Hey! Do that Hebrew thing!

Source: LyricFind

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #49

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#49

CNR

Title: “CNR”

Written: Al Yankovic

Album: Alpocalypse

Released: 2011

Style Parody: The White Stripes

Genre: Punk Blues/Alternative Rock

I was always a fan of Charles Nelson Reilly, specifically from the Match Game. I remember niot knowing what the reference of CNR was when I first got Alpocalypse. This was one of my favorite videos released for these songs.

Lyrics

Charles Nelson Reilly was a mighty man
The kind of man you’d never disrespect
He stood eight feet tall, wore glasses
And he had a third nipple on the back of his neck
He ate his own weight in coal, and excreted diamonds everyday
He could throw you down a flight of stairs
But you still would love him anyway
Yeah, you know you’d love him anyway, oh

Charles Nelson Reilly won the Tour de France
With two flat tires and a missing chain
He trained a rattlesnake to do his laundry
I’m telling you the man was insane
He could rip out your beating heart
And show it to you right before you died
Everyday he’d make the host of Match Game
Give him a piggyback ride
Yeah, two hour piggyback ride, giddy up Gene

The ninja warrior, master of disguise
He could melt your brain with his laser-beam eyes, oh yeah
Oh yeah
He had his own line at the DMV
He made sweet, sweet love to a manatee
Oh yeah
Oh yeah, that was something to see, I tell ya

Charles Nelson Reilly sold his toenail clippings
As a potent aphrodisiac
He ran a four minute mile blindfolded
With an engine block strapped to his back
He could eat more frozen waffles
Then any other man I know
Once he fell off the Chrysler building
And he barely even stubbed his toe
Had a tiny little scratch on his toe
Didn’t even hurt

Charles Nelson Reilly figured out cold fusion
But he never ever told a soul
I’ve seen the man unhinge his jaw
And swallow a Volkswagen whole
He’d bash your face in with a shovel
If you didn’t treat him like a star
You could spit at the wind, or tug at Superman’s cape
But Lord knows you don’t mess around with CNR

No, no, no
Talkin’ about CNR

Source: Musixmatch

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #50

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#50

Handy

Title: “Handy”

Album: Mandatory Fun

Released: 2014

Written: Amethyst Amelia Kelly / Charlotte Emma Aitchison / George Astasio / Jason Andrew Pebworth / John Turner / Jonathan Christopher Shave / Kurtis Isaac Mckenzie /Al Yankovic

Parody: Iggy Azalea’s “Fancy” (feat. Charli XCX)

We enter the top 50 of our countdown with this parody of “Fancy.” The video was one of the eight released daily for Mandatory Fun.

Lyrics

First things first, I’m a craftsman (craftsman)
Remodelling is my only passion (it’s my passion)
And I’m the greatest in the business
Want referrals, yo
My clientèle will bear you witness (right, right)
I can help when your door jamb sticks (heh?)
There is nothing in the world I can’t fix (yeah)
I do tiles, I do stone, I do bricks
Call me, I’ll come rushing over with my bag of tricks (bag of tricks)
Where you go when your disposal is rusted (rusted)
Termite problem making you disgusted (yuck)
When your front window is busted (hey, hey, hey)
Just one name that’s always trusted

I’m so handy, you already know
I’ll fix your plumbing when your toilets overflow
I’m so handy, I’ll bring you up to code
When your dishwasher’s about to explode

Now you see that your furnace is needing some service
I’m fully bonded, no need to be nervous
Perhaps you would like a new counter Formica
Maybe I’ll hook up your dish washer combo dryer
But all your pipes are antique
Your water pressure’s too weak
You got an attic full of dry rot
Because your roof sprung a leak
Your fridge is starting to reek
Your hardwood floors really squeak
But don’t you worry I’ll just show you my amazing technique
Now let me glue that, glue that and screw that, screw that
Any random chore you got, well I can do that, do that
Or maybe I’ll just rewire your house for fun
I got 99 problems but a switch ain’t one

I’m so handy, everyone says so
I’ll grout your bathroom, resurface your patio
I’m so handy, I’m the guy to know
When your leaf blower doesn’t blow-oh-oh-oh

Patch the drywall, clean your gutters and mow the lawn
Make that phone call, I’ll install anything you want
Yeah, check my big staple gun, my socket wrenches are second to none
I won’t quit ’til I’m done, don’t even care if I hammer my thumb (ow)

Still rocking my screwdriver
Got the whole world thinking I’m MacGyver
Your heating bills are shocking
I can solve that with some duct tape and some caulking
Your house is a disaster, huh?
Need a guy whose a master with the plaster, huh?
Let me be your stripper
Taking off lacquer, no one does it quicker

I’m so handy, you already know
I’ll beat all price quotes, my hourly rates are low
I’m so handy, you should call this pro
I’m in the phone book and se habla español

Source: LyricFind

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #52

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#52

Jerry Springer

Title: “Jerry Springer”

Album: Running With Scissors

Released: 1999

Parody: “One Week” by the Barenaked Ladies

Written: Ed Robertson/Al Yankovic

Lyrics

It’s been one week since we got to see
Cheatin’ lovers and cousins that marry
Five days since they had the show
With the hermaphrodite, the slut and the crack ho
Three days since we heard the tale
About the guy who learned his woman was a she-male
Yesterday it occurred to me
That I’ve been watchin’ a bit too much Jerry Springer

Holy cow, did you see it last week?
Well, they had this one freak
Who sucker-punched his whole family
Do you recall when the brawl became a total free-for-all?
And Jerry’s in the middle tryin’ to be the referee
Hey, see the stripper with the implants?
She likes to lap dance
And date the boyfriend of her mother
Now here comes Jerry’s next guest
And it’s a slugfest
‘Cause it’s her trailer trash brother

Nymphomaniac is back on crack, it’s like When Animals Attack
They all exhibit reprehensible behavior
Hit ’em in the nose, tear off their clothes
Step on their toes, that’s how it goes
They get so violent they have to sign a waiver

They’re always swearin’, cursin’, kickin’ butt and pointin’ blame
On the air? They don’t care, they’ve got no shame
There was one guy who I’m sure felt a little strange
When he found out that his wife had a sex change
They have a tendency to scream and yell constantly
They have a history of ripping off their shirts

It’s been one week since they had the fight
With the Siamese twins and the transvestite
Five days since that awful brawl
They still haven’t got the blood off the wall
It’s been three days since the bitter feud
Between the KKK and that gay Jewish black dude
Yesterday, it finally dawned on me
I’m spendin’ way too much time on that Jerry Springer

Baby, I’ve been sleepin’ with your sister
Oh, which one? All of ’em
Ah, well, I’ve been sleepin’ with your best friend Jake
Yeah? Well, me too, and, I’ve been sleepin’ with your dog Woofie
Woofie, you bi-, well I’m also sleepin’ with your pet goat
That goat doesn’t love you

Once you start watchin’, there’s just no stoppin’
Your brain shuts down, then your IQ’s droppin’
Jerry’s the king of confrontation
He’s a sensation, he puts the sin in syndication
It’s totally worthless, like a bad check
It’s like a train wreck
Don’t want to stare, but you can’t look away
Like Sally Jesse he does talk shows
But with more weirdos
The ratings jumpin’ higher every day

If you’ve seen the show, well then you know
It’s just as low as you can go
The guests are tacky and they’re lacking in their hygiene
And pretty soon some ugly goon comes in the room and then it’s boom
In the face of some unsuspecting drag queen

Well, it’s the kind of show where people scream obscenities
Yankin’ hair, throwin’ chairs at their hubbies
Jerry, Jerry, now the crowd starts their favorite chant
Should I turn off my TV? I just can’t
I have a tendency to watch it religiously
I have a history of taping each one

It’s been one week since the show about
Psycho killers with problems they should work out
Five days since the big surprise
When some losers wife said that she’s still dating twenty guys
Three days since he interviewed
A bunch of psychic porn star midgets who were all nude
Yesterday, it occurred to me
That I’ve been watchin’ a bit too much Jerry Springer

Tired of wastin’ my time on that Jerry Springer
I’ve got way too much class to watch Jerry Springer
Come over here and pull on my finger

Source: LyricFind

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #55

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#55

Polkarama!

Title: “Polkarama!”

Writer: Scott Storch / Ray Charles / Carl Allen Sturken / Curtis James Jackson / Chad Hugo / Pharrell Williams / Brandon Flowers / Brian Burton / Robert Hardy / Kanye West / Jaime Gomez / David Jolicoeur / Trevor Smith / Damon Albarn / Scott Weiland / Saul Hudson / Renald J. Richard / Rivers Cuomo / Ray Anthony / Eric Judy / Michael Fratantuno / Thomas Calloway / Terence Yoshiaki Graves / Vada J. Nobles / Dann Michael Gallucci / Christopher Anthony Martin / Nicholas Mccarthy / Ronnie Vannucci / Mark Stoermer / Paul Robert Thomson / Berryman Guy Rupert / Buckland Jonathan Mark / Alisha Quiona Brooks / Champion William / George Pajon Jr. / David G Kushner / Isaac K Brock / Calvin Cordozar Broadus Jr. / Terry Rendal / Al Yankovic / Thomas Werner / Matthew William Sorum / Alexander Paul Kaprano Huntley / Alla Pineda / Christopher Jamie Hewlett / Dave Brent Flowers / Duff Rose Mckagen / Evan A. Rodgers

Album: Straight Outta Lynwood

Released: 2006

Style: Polka/Comedy

Songs: “The Chicken Dance,” “Let’s Get it Started,” “Take Me Out,” “Beverly Hills,” “Speed of Sound,” “Float On,” “Feel Good Inc.,” “Don’t Cha,” “Somebody Told Me,” “Slither,” “Candy Shop,” “Drop It Like It’s Hot,” “Pon de Replay,” “Gold Digger,” and “The Nina Bobina Polka.”

Lyrics

Let’s get it started! (Ha!)
Let’s get it started! (In here!)
Let’s get it started! (Ha!)
Let’s get it started! (In here!)
Let’s get it started! (Ha!)
Let’s get it started! (In here!)
And the bass keeps runnin’, runnin’
And runnin’, runnin’
And runnin’, runnin’,
And runnin’, runnin’,
I say, don’t you know
You say, you don’t know
I say…
Take me out!
I say, you don’t show
Don’t move, time is slow
I say… (gunshot)
Take me out!
Beverly Hills, that’s where I wanna be!
(Gimme! Gimme!)
Living in Beverly Hills
Beverly Hills, rollin’ like a celebrity
(Gimme! Gimme!)
Living in Beverly Hills
And birds go flying at the speed of sound
To show you how it all began
Birds came flying from the underground
If you could see it, then you’d understand
And we’ll all float on, okay
And we’ll all float on
All right already, we’ll all float on
Now don’t you worry, we’ll all float on
All right!
Feel good!
Feel good!
Feel good!
Don’t cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?
Don’t cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?
Don’t cha?
Don’t cha?
Don’t cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me?
Don’t cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me?
Don’t cha?
Don’t cha?
Don’t cha, don’t cha, don’t cha?
Somebody told me
You had a boyfriend
Who looked like a girlfriend
That I had in February of last year
It’s not confidential
Well, I got potential
A rushin’ and rushin’ around
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
I’ll take you to the candy shop
I’ll let you lick a lollipop
Go ‘head, girl, don’t you stop
Keep goin’ ’til you hit the spot
Whoa!
(We’ll take you to the candy shop) Yeah!
(For one taste o’ what we got) Uh-huh!
(We’ll have you spending all you got) Come on!
(Keep goin’ ’til you hit the spot) Whoa!
When the pimp’s in the crib, ma
Drop it like it’s hot
Drop it like it’s hot
Drop it like it’s hot
When the pimp’s gonna get at you
Drop it like it’s hot
Drop it like it’s hot
Come, Mr. DJ, song pon de replay
(Come, Mr. DJ, won’t you turn the music up?)
All the gal pon the dance floor, wantin’ some more, what
(Come, Mr. DJ, won’t you turn the music up?)
Hey, mister
Please, Mr. DJ
Tell me if you hear me
Turn the music up!
She take my money
(She take my money)
When I’m in need
(When I’m in need)
Yes, she’s a triflin’ friend indeed (friend indeed)
Well, she’s a gold digger
Way over town (way over town)
That digs on me
Hey! Hey!
Now, I ain’t sayin’ she’s a gold digger
But she ain’t messin’ with no broke, broke
Now, I ain’t sayin’ she’s a gold digger
But she ain’t messin’ with no broke, broke
Get down, girl, go ‘head, get down (I gotta leave)
Get down, girl, go ‘head, get down (I gotta leave)
Get down, girl, go ‘head, get down (I gotta leave)
Get down, girl, go ‘head!
But I
ain’t
sayin’ she’s a
Gold, gold digger
Gold, gold digger
Gold, gold digger
Hey!

Source: Musixmatch

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #56

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#56

What is Life

Title: “What is Life”

Written: George Harrison

Album: George Fest: A Night to Celebrate the Music of George Harrison

Style: pop/rock/uptempo soul

Performed: George Fest tribute concert on September 28, 2014

The first song on this list that was not written (at least in part) by Weird Al. Weird Al performed this at the George Fest tribute concert at the Fonda Theater in Los Angeles. Al was one of several other performers covering tracks from the former Beatle. Al also sang on the version of The Traveling Wilburys’ song, “Handle With Care.” “What is Life” was one of my favorite Georege Harrison songs and seeing the live performance by Weird Al was a great addition to it for me.

It is a straight cover of the song, without any comedic undertones.

Lyrics

What I feel, I can’t say
But my love is there for you anytime of day
But if it’s not love that you need
Then I’ll try my best to make everything succeed

Tell me, what is my life without your love
Tell me, who am I without you, by my side

What I know, I can do
If I give my love now to everyone like you
But if it’s not love that you need
Then I’ll try my best to make ev’rything succeed

Tell me, what is my life without your love
Tell me, who am I without you, by my side
Tell me, what is my life without your love
Tell me, who am I without you, by my side

What I feel, I can’t say
But my love is there for you any time of day
But if it’s not love that you need
Then I’ll try my best to make everything succeed

Tell me, what is my life without your love
Tell me, who am I without you, by my side
Oh tell me, what is my life without your love
Tell me, who am I without you, by my side

What is my life without your love
Tell me, who am I without you, by my side

[fade:]
Oh tell me, what is my life without your love
Tell me who am I without you by my side