#14

The Night Santa Went Crazy

Title: “The Night Santa Went Crazy”

Album: Bad Hair Day

Released: 1996

Style Pastiche: “Black Gold” by Soul Asylum

Written: Al Yankovic

Genre: Christmas Music

Topic: Santa snaps and goes on a North Pole murder spree

I love this song. The idea of a disgruntled Santa flipping out is great. There is a really funny “Extra Gory Version” that I heard for the first time on Dr. Demento Show.

Lyrics

Down in the workshop all the elves were makin’ toys
For the good gentile girls and the good gentile boys
When the boss busted in, nearly scared ’em half to death
Had a rifle in his hands and cheap whiskey on his breath
From his beard to his boots he was covered with ammo
Like a big fat drunk disgruntled Yuletide Rambo
And he smiled as he said with a twinkle in his eye
“Merry Christmas to all, now you’re all gonna die”

The night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nick went insane
Realized he’d been gettin’ a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain

Well, the workshop is gone now, he decided to bomb it
Everywhere you’ll find pieces of Cupid and Comet
And he tied up his helpers and he held the elves hostage
And he ground up poor Rudolph into reindeer sausage
He got Dancer and Prancer with an old German Luger
And he slashed up Dasher just like Freddy Krueger
And he picked up a flamethrower and he barbequed Blitzen
And he took a big bite and said, “It tastes just like chicken”

The night Santa went crazy
The night Kris Kringle went nuts
Now you can’t hardly walk around the North Pole
Without steppin’ in reindeer guts

There’s the National Guard and the FBI
There’s a van from the Eyewitness News
And helicopters circlin’ ’round in the sky
And the bullets are flyin’, the body count’s risin’
And everyone’s dyin’ to know, oh Santa, why?
My my my my my my
You used to be such a jolly guy

Yes, Virginia, now Santa’s doing time
In a Federal prison for his infamous crime
Hey little friend now, don’t you cry no more tears
He’ll be out with good behavior in seven hundred more years
But now Vixen’s in therapy and Donner’s still nervous
And the elves all got jobs working for the Postal Service
And they say Mrs. Clause, she’s on the phone every night
With her lawyer negotiating the movie rights

They’re talkin’ bout, the night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nicholas flipped
Broke his back for some milk and cookies
Sounds to me like he was tired of gettin’ gypped

Whoa oh, the night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nick went insane
Realized he’d gettin’ a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain
Whoa oh, something finally must have snapped in his brain
Tell ya, something finally must have snapped in his brain

Source: LyricFind

Lyrics from Extra Gory version

Yes Virginia, Now Santa is dead Some guy
From the swat team blew a hole through his head
Yes little friend now, that’s his brains on the floor,
I guess they wont have the fat guy kicking around anymore
But now there’s no more presents for children’s enjoyment
And the Elves have to wait in the line and file for unemployment
And they say Mrs. Clause, she’s on the phone every night
With her lawyer negotiating the movie rights