Written: Joe Perry / Mark Hudson / Steven Tyler/Al Yankovic
Genre: Hard rock
Weird Al has been well known in his appreciation of food. He has said many tiomes that he loves food because it has kept him alive. This is the opposite of that as he describes that food that has spent too many days (weeks?) in the refrigerator and has become something akin to a science experiment. In the same vein as George Carlin’s “Icebox Man,” “Livin’ in the Fridge” had a special appearance on The Weird Al Show.
Lyrics
There’s somethin’ weird in the fridge today I don’t know what it is Food I can’t recognize My roommate won’t throw a thing away I guess it’s probably his It looks like it’s alive
And livin’ in the fridge Livin’ in the fridge Livin’ in the fridge Livin’ in the fridge
There’s somethin’ gross in the fridge today It’s green and growin’ hair It’s been there since July If you can name the object In that baggie over there Then mister, you’re a better man than I
It’s livin’ in the fridge You can’t stop the mold from growin’ Livin’ in the fridge Can’t tell what it is at all Livin’ in the fridge You can’t stop the mold from growin’ Livin’ in the fridge
Tell me, do you think it should be carbon-dated Fumigated or cremated and buried at sea? You try to save a little bit of your home cookin’ Couple weeks later, got a scary-lookin’ specimen It always happens, my friend Again & again & again & again
Somethin’ stinks in the fridge today And it’s been rottin’ there all week It could be liver cake or woolly mammoth steak Well, maybe I should another peek
Livin’ in the fridge (You can’t stop the mold from growin’) Livin’ in the fridge (Can’t tell what it is at all) Livin’ in the fridge (You can’t stop the mold from growin’) Livin’ in the fridge Livin’ in the fridge (Don’t know what it is, don’t know what it is) Livin’ in the fridge (Don’t know what it is, don’t know what it is) Livin’ in the fridge Don’t know what it is at all Livin’ in the fridge, yeah
Extra voices: Tress MacNeille (“How ya doin’ Bernie?”) and Mary Kay Bergman (“For a rabbi!”)
Parody: “Pretty Fly for a White Guy” by the Offspring
Genre: Pop Punk/Comedy
Oy Vey! Lots of Yiddish phrases used in this song, which may not have aged as well as some of Al’s other songs. Still, this is a well done parody and is very funny.
Lyrics
Oy vey, oy vey! (How ya doin’, Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey! (How ya doin’, Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey! And all the goyim say I’m pretty fly for a rabbi
Meccha leccha hi, meccha hiney hiney ho
Our temple’s had a fair share of rabbis in the past But most of’em were nudniks and none of’em would last But our new guy’s real kosher, I think he’ll do the trick I tell ya, he’s to die for, he really knows his shtick
So how’s by you? Have you seen this Jew? Reads the Torah, does his own accounting too Working’ like a dog at the synagogue He’s there all day, he’s there all day
Just say “Vay is mir!” and he’ll kick into gear He’ll bring you lots of cheer and maybe bagels with some shmeer Just grab your yarmulka and Hey! Hey! Do that Hebrew thing!
Oy vey, oy vey! (How ya doin’, Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey! (How ya doin’, Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey! And all the goyim say I’m pretty fly (for a rabbi)
He shops at discount stores, not just any will suffice He has to find a bargain ’cause he won’t pay retail price He never acts meshugga and he’s hardly a schlemiel But if you want to haggle, oy, he’ll make you such a deal!
People used to scoff, now they say “Mazel tov!” He’s such a macher ’cause he works his tuchis off Yeah, he keeps his cool and teaches shul What’s not to like? What’s not to like?
Oh high holy days, you know he prays and prays And he never eats pastrami on white bread with mayonnaise Put on your yarmulka and Hey! Hey! Do that Hebrew thing!
When he’s doing a Bar Mitzvah, now that you shouldn’t miss He’ll always shlep on down for a wedding or a briss They say he’s got a lot of chutzpah, he’s really quite hip The parents pay the moyl and he gets to keep the tip!
Oy vey, oy vey! (How ya doin’, Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey! (How ya doin’, Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey!
Meccha leccha hi, meccha meccha cholly ho
He’s doin’ well, I gotta kvell The yentas love him, even shicksas think he’s swell Show up at his home, he says, “Shalom!” And “Have some cake, you want some cake?”
Yeah he calls the shots, we really love him lots Oy gevalt, I’m so ferklempt that I could plotz! So grab your yarmulka The one you got for Hanukah
Let’s put on our yarmulkas and Hey! Hey! Do that Hebrew thing!
I love the synopsis on Netflix for episode eight. It simply says “Something very bad happens.”
These last two episodes of this Netflix limited series were simply batshit crazy.
Holy cow. This went in a manner that I never thought it would. I mean, I never saw Nicky backing out of the wedding at the altar, basically dooming his entire bloodline.
Nicky never believed in the curse that Rachel was so desperately trying to avoid. She went to the extreme by having Jules cut off Rachel’s pinky toe. She had to put all this stuff into a drink. Part of it was the bone of the bride. She needed the seed of the groom.
Honestly, the creation of this cocktail mixture was making me want to puke. It was so gross.
Rachel does not end up drinking it, as she has convinced herself that Nicky is, in fact, her soulmate.
So when Nicky stops the wedding, the sun goes down and the whole group of their bloodline started bleeding from their eyes and mouth.
The Witness arrived at the wedding too. I had forgotten about him. I also forgot that if Rachel called off the wedding, she would replace him as witness. All this because she accepted a proposal that she did not really want to in the first place.
It is difficult to go over these two episodes because of all the craziness that went down. I thought after episode six that Victoria had died. Seems that I overexaggerated that as she was only suffering a certain attack. Victoria was played by Jennifer Jason Leigh and she was amazing. Ted Levine, from Silence of the Lambs and Captain Leland Stottlemeyer from Monk, was the father of Nicky, which I had not realized until episode six. These two are great actors and really solidified the cast.
I hadn’t considered why Jules did not die when the curse switched to the family, but it was because he was married to his true soulmate in Nell. That makes total sense. It was also why Nicky and his father did not die. Of course, when Victoria died, that said that she did not truly believe that Boris was her soulmate, which would be a tragic thing to live with.
This was a great eight episodes with tons of tension and exciting family shenanigans. The supernatural was used heavily, but it the perfect amount and the ending was so shocking that I never would ghave thought it would have been filmed. A lot of bloody fun.
Style Pastiche: Late 90s third-wave sks music like Reel Big Fish and The Mighty Mighty Bosstones
A good example of Al singing really fast. You haven’t seen anything yet though. This is a real gem off Running With Scissors and is one of the funnier originals on the album. KILL THEM!
Lyrics
Aquarius There’s travel in your future When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus Fill that void in your pathetic life By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day
Pisces Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus You are the true Lord of the dance No matter what those idiots at work say
Aries The look on your face will be priceless When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep
Taurus You will never find true happiness What you gonna do, cry about it? The stars predict tomorrow you’ll wake up Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep
That’s your horoscope for today (that’s your horoscope for today) That’s your horoscope for today That’s your horoscope for today (that’s your horoscope for today) That’s your horoscope for today (that’s your horoscope for today)
Gemini Your birthday party will be ruined Once again by your explosive flatulence Your love life will run into trouble When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest
Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver’s test
Leo Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt And staple it to your bosses face, oh no Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik
Virgo All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you Expect a big surprise today When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick
That’s your horoscope for today (that’s your horoscope for today) That’s your horoscope for today That’s your horoscope for today (that’s your horoscope for today) That’s your horoscope for today
Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that The relative position of the planets and the stars Could have a special deep significance or meaning That exclusively applies to only you
But, let me give you my assurance that These forecasts and predictions are all based on Solid, scientific, documented evidence So you would have to be some kind of moron Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true
Where was I?
Libra A big promotion is just around The corner for someone much more talented than you Laughter is the very best medicine Remember that when your appendix bursts next week
Scorpio, get ready for an Unexpected trip When you fall screaming from an open window Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak
Sagittarius All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them) Take down all those naked pictures of Ernest Borgnine, you’ve got hanging in your den
Capricorn The stars say that you’re an exciting and wonderful person But, you know they’re lying If I were you, I’d lock my doors and windows And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again
That’s your horoscope for today (that’s your horoscope for today) That’s your horoscope for today That’s your horoscope for today (that’s your horoscope for today) That’s your horoscope for today
That’s your horoscope for today (that’s your horoscope for today) That’s your horoscope for today That’s your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay) That’s your horoscope for today
I always feel bad when the EYG Comic Cavalcade slides to Monday, but there were just too many books for me to get to on a packed full weekend. Even after spending time reading on Wednesday at Comic World, I could not find the time to get them all done until now. I even had to read some tonight before doing this write-up in order to get to this post.
While I was at Comic World, I was sitting reading at their table. By the end of the afternoon, I went to get up and my knee was terrible. I could barely walk, and I thought, am I so old that I can hurt myself… sitting?
Comic of the Week
If Destruction Be Our Lot #1
It came down to this book and Dog Tag #1 this week for Comic of the Week, but I wound up choosing the new Image Comic book, If Destruction Be Our Lot #1.
It is a great premise with the humans being gone and robots being the main characters. The Abraham Lincoln robot makes for an awesome protagonist and the idea that there are surviving humans somewhere works as a conflict. This has promise to be an exceptional series.
Plus, the C cover was the Bronze Medalist this week.
Books this week:
Dog Tag #1. Written by Mark Russell with pencils by PJ Holden. Cover art was done by PJ Holden & JP Jordan. The book that was neck and neck with If Destruction Be Our Lot #1 as Comic of the Week, Dog Tag #1 was an exceptional read. A World War II story about a journalist and his time during the war. Tom Fuller is the main protagonist and I was surprised how much I was engaged with him. This was a strong first issue and I am excited about where this goes from here. Another winner for Mad Cave.
Wade Wilson: Deadpool#2. “Bad Calls” Written by Benjamin Percy with art by Geoff Shaw. Cover art was done by Geoff Shaw & Alex Sinclair. Deadpool spends a bunch of this issue inside the trunk of Hammerhead’s car. He gets out to try and save Blind Al from Hammerhead. Oh, and, by the way, Blind Al is the one who was sending the mysterious future notes to Wade. This new Deadpool book has been cooking with a down and depressed Wade and a lot of mysteries.
She-Spawn #1. “American Dream.” Written by Gail Simone and art and cover art by Ig Guara. I picked this up only as a collector. I had zero interest in this book and it had a destiny for the number one box. Then I noticed that it was written by Gail Simone (GAIL!!!!) and I thought, okay, I should at least read it before I subject it to the number one box, but even with the wonderful Gail Simone at the helm, I was not going to like a Spawn book (yes, I know I like Sam and Twitch, but this is different). So I read it and…. I can’t believe it… I thought it was great. So great that I want to buy #2 when it comes out. AAAARARGGGGHHH! What were the odds? I don’t like Spawn. But I was thoroughly entertained with this book. Dang it.
Excommunicated: The Unholy Body Bag #I. Written by Jeremy Robinson and art by Tiago Palma. Cover art by Tyler Crook. This is very strange. I picked up this black bag because it looked cool and I found out that this was cover G. Then I learned that cover A is coming out next week. What? The variants come out the week before cover A? Does that happen… ever? I liked the book so I will probably grab cover A if available, but it was confusing for awhile.
Absolute Superman #19. “Red Steel in the House of Chaos.” Written by Jason Aaron with art by Rafa Sandoval. Cover art was done by Rafa Sandoval & Ulises Arreola. Superman faces off with Absolute Shazam (or is he absolute Black Adam… or some kind of amalgam of them?) and we meet absolute Steel. Has Absolute Superman met his match? Quick cameo of Absolute Batman too.
Royals #2. Written by Derek Kirk Kim with art and cover art by Jacob Perez. The trouble is brewing for Paul and Castor as their telepathic poker scam is coming out in the open and there is a player angry about being ripped off. I really liked the time we spent with the brothers, particularly Castor this issue. The character beats worked to provide us more details on the two brothers. I am enjoying this new book very much.
All-New Spider-Gwen: Ghost Spider #20. Written by Stephanie Phillips and art by Paolo Villanelli. Cover art was done by David Marquez & Federico Blee. I have to say, I was, at first, unhappy with this issue. Gwen becoming a Green Goblin felt so already done that I was not pleased. Then, the story took a twist and won me back with one unexpected turn. I think this is the final issue for this book, which is unfortunate. I feel as if it was just starting to hit its stride.
Ben 10 #1. “Man of Action.” Written by Joe Casey with art by Robert Carey. Variant cover C art was done by Dustin Nguyen (Silver Medalist). Another book that I did not plan on reading or continuing to collect. Ben 10 was never my jam of a cartoon. But, as the collector, I wanted to grab a copy and I picked out a beautiful, simple cover by Dustin Nguyen for my collection. The cover was so nice that I decided to give it a chance. The fact that Dynamite has had some other characters that I never watched or didn’t care about (Captain Planet, Silverhawks, Darkwing Duck, Ursula, etc.) in series that I really enjoyed added to the curiosity with this book. Of course, I read it and I really liked it too. Come on Dynamite… you pick characters that I do not like, you are not then supposed to make a comic that I want to buy.
Marc Spector: Moon Knight #4. “Break and Enter” Part One. Written by Jed MacKay and art by Devmalya Pramanik. Cover art was done by Paulo Siqueira & Rachelle Rosenberg. Moon Knight’s crew at the Midnight Mission went in search of Marc, and wound up disappearing themselves. Marc is back and looking for his friends… inside a building covered by a blackness… that is spreading. What is this new, weird supernatural building and what has it done with Tigra, 8-Ball, Hunter’s Moon and the others.
X-Men #29. “Danger Room, Pt. 4“. Written by Jed MacKay with pencils by Netho Diaz. Cover art was done by Netho Diaz, Sean Parsons, & Fer Sifuentes-Sujo. While Quentin is out of control in search of whom shot Glob Herman, something bizarre is going on with the X-Men. Are they zombies? Cyclops has certainly looked better. Wild stuff in the world of the mutants.
Amazing Spider-Man #28. Written by Joe Kelly with guest pencilers Cory Smith with Francesco Manna. Cover art was done by Marcio Menyz & Erick Arciniega. This was a fun Spider-Man issue as Peter receives a major mission from Doctor Strange, but has to take care of a bunch of tangents on the way to the location. There are several fun cameos and moments for Peter in this issue. It may be a filler issue, but it is how a filler issue should be.
Daredevil #2. Written by Stephanie Phillips with art and cover art by Lee Garbett. Matt Murdock has all kinds of problems surrounding him. He has to take on the Owl to find out what is happening, and, even though he does not get much from him, it adds to his mind. Matt’s class of students gave him grief too as he is trying to be a professor. And HEY! it’s Spider-Man!
Fall of the House of Slaughter #1. Written by Tate Brombal and illustrated by Adriano Turtulici. The Dragon is dying. The other houses are preparing to nominate someone to take his place once he passes on. But who really wants the position? The Dragon has his own idea… Erica Slaughter. But… everyone believes that she is dead.
Cyclops #4. “Seeing Red” Part 4. Written by Alex Paknadel and art by Rogê Antonio. This Cyclops, blind and in the woods story has been fantastic so far. I have really enjoyed seeing Scott being challenged by losing his visor and glasses, and having to be chased by the Reavers. I am excited to see where this is going.
Muppets Noir #3. Written, Drawn & cover art by Roger Langridge. This has been a really fun Dynamite book. I do love the Muppets and seeing Kermit as a noir detective (and not a very good one) with Miss Piggy running around, making him look bad, is awesome. It looks like next issue is the final one for this series, but I want more Muppets! Let’s make it happen, Dynamite (or Disney… whoever!).
Fantastic Four #10. Written by Ryan North with pencils by Humberto Ramos. Cover art was done by Humberto Ramos & Edgar Delgado. The Invincible Woman has arrived in the 616-universe as the Fantastic Four and a bunch of their allies have to bring her down. Oh, and Sue has to save Galactus.
Captain Marvel: Dark Past #2. Written by Paul Jenkins and art and cover art by Lucas Werneck. I like this mystery involving Carol and her past memories. I think this is a great use of history, as Carol has to come to see Rogue about something she did not remember.
Batman #9. “Operation Peregrine.” Written by Matt Fraction and art by Ryan Sook. Cover art was done by Jorge Jimenez & Tomeu Morey. I also picked up the incentive variant cover by David Aja. The Gotham City Police have new orders. The orders are to bring down the Batman family. And in this issue, one of them does fall.
Astonishing Miles Morales: Spider-Man- The Art of Thwip #1. Written by Cody Ziglar and art by Alessandro Miracolo & Ig Guara. Cover art was done by Taurin Clarke. I have missed Miles’s book, but, to be truthful, I did not love this book. There was just too many other stories and characters than just Miles. I am sure it will get better as it moves along, but this was not the best return I hav eread.
Tales of the Green Lantern Corps: Guy Gardner #1. “Light Club.” Written by Gerry Duggan and art by Matteo Lolli, Laura Braga, and Vasco Georgiev. Cover art was done by Edwin Galmon. This was one I read tonight before starting the Comic Cavalcade, and I really liked this one. Guy Gardner is such a fun character and I enjoyed the pairing of Guy and John Stewart. I might even buy a buddy book with the two of them in it.
Other Books This Week: Godzilla #10, Sleepy Hollow: The Witches of the Western Woods #1, Red Sonja: She-Devil With a Sword #1, Star Wars: Rogue One-Cassian Andor #1, The Autumn Kingdom #4, Absolute Green lantern #14, Godzilla Infinity Roar #4, Jubilee: Deadly Reunion #1, Storm: Earth’s Mightiest Mutant #4, and the Center Holds #3.
Quick Hits: The first quick hit this week is Speed Racer #8 from Mad Cave. This has been a consistently engaging book. I had no idea that Marvel was putting out a book called Civil War: Unmasked #1. I think they were trying to make Tony Stark’s out-of-character behavior during Civil War make more sense as he takes a trip to Bishop’s future. Not sure it worked like they wanted, but there was a foil cover that I picked up that was the Gold Medalist of the week. Comics! The Magazine #3 dropped this week with a cool interview with Kevin Eastman. Ghost Machine: The Official Guidebook #2 came out this week and it goes right up to the letter Z with Zigzag. It says that there will be a six-issue series, but where do they go after Z? The 20th Century Studios book Alien: King Killer #2 has been extremely interesting. I like them using the Xenomorphs in this way. Joe Benitez’s Lady Mechanika: The Mechanical Menagerie #1 came out this week too. It definitely is a sequel series that I might have to look for to understand what is going on here. A new story with Hank Howard from Bad Idea came out this week with Hank Howard Pizza Detective: A Slice of Life #1. Energon Universe 2026 Special #1 sets up the future of the Energon Universe, including the new series MASK. Then, finally, Estuary: A Ghost Story #2 was the last book I read tonight before this post.
I was always a fan of Charles Nelson Reilly, specifically from the Match Game. I remember niot knowing what the reference of CNR was when I first got Alpocalypse. This was one of my favorite videos released for these songs.
Lyrics
Charles Nelson Reilly was a mighty man The kind of man you’d never disrespect He stood eight feet tall, wore glasses And he had a third nipple on the back of his neck He ate his own weight in coal, and excreted diamonds everyday He could throw you down a flight of stairs But you still would love him anyway Yeah, you know you’d love him anyway, oh
Charles Nelson Reilly won the Tour de France With two flat tires and a missing chain He trained a rattlesnake to do his laundry I’m telling you the man was insane He could rip out your beating heart And show it to you right before you died Everyday he’d make the host of Match Game Give him a piggyback ride Yeah, two hour piggyback ride, giddy up Gene
The ninja warrior, master of disguise He could melt your brain with his laser-beam eyes, oh yeah Oh yeah He had his own line at the DMV He made sweet, sweet love to a manatee Oh yeah Oh yeah, that was something to see, I tell ya
Charles Nelson Reilly sold his toenail clippings As a potent aphrodisiac He ran a four minute mile blindfolded With an engine block strapped to his back He could eat more frozen waffles Then any other man I know Once he fell off the Chrysler building And he barely even stubbed his toe Had a tiny little scratch on his toe Didn’t even hurt
Charles Nelson Reilly figured out cold fusion But he never ever told a soul I’ve seen the man unhinge his jaw And swallow a Volkswagen whole He’d bash your face in with a shovel If you didn’t treat him like a star You could spit at the wind, or tug at Superman’s cape But Lord knows you don’t mess around with CNR
I finished the HBO Max show A Knight of the Seven Kingdom, which ended with Egg telling Duncan that there are actually nine kingdoms and not seven. It was a funny little bit at the end of the series.
This final episode was mostly wrap up after last week’s major Trial of Seven. You could how many people were blaming Ser Duncan for the death of Prince Baelor, which is completely unfair considering the circumstances.
Prince Maekar Targaryen was very resentful toward Duncan, but he did request that Duncan take Egg on as a squire while Duncan’s own training continued. Duncan refused stating that he was done with princes.
However, Duncan changed his mind under the condition that they were free to roam. Maekar rejected this idea as he said Egg was a prince and would not live a life of poverty.
At the very end of the show, Egg approached Duncan telling him that his father had changed his mind and accepted the condition.
I knew immediately that Egg was lying. I did not expect to have that confirmed in a mid credit scene where Maekar was searching for Egg. I feel for Duncan and worry that this is going to lead to another problem for him down the road.
However, with this series concluding, perhaps we will not see either of these characters again. As someone who never watched Game of Thrones, A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms was a lot of fun and an enjoyable story. Episodes were short and easy to digest and I did not feel as if I needed the Game of Thrones to enjoy this show (although I might have missed some Easter eggs I wouldn’t have if I had more knowledge).
Next week, the Sunday Morning Sidewalk continues starting with the four episode documentary on Netflix based on the life of Hulk Hogan, entitled Hulk Hogan: Real American.
Written: Amethyst Amelia Kelly / Charlotte Emma Aitchison / George Astasio / Jason Andrew Pebworth / John Turner / Jonathan Christopher Shave / Kurtis Isaac Mckenzie /Al Yankovic
Parody: Iggy Azalea’s “Fancy” (feat. Charli XCX)
We enter the top 50 of our countdown with this parody of “Fancy.” The video was one of the eight released daily for Mandatory Fun.
Lyrics
First things first, I’m a craftsman (craftsman) Remodelling is my only passion (it’s my passion) And I’m the greatest in the business Want referrals, yo My clientèle will bear you witness (right, right) I can help when your door jamb sticks (heh?) There is nothing in the world I can’t fix (yeah) I do tiles, I do stone, I do bricks Call me, I’ll come rushing over with my bag of tricks (bag of tricks) Where you go when your disposal is rusted (rusted) Termite problem making you disgusted (yuck) When your front window is busted (hey, hey, hey) Just one name that’s always trusted
I’m so handy, you already know I’ll fix your plumbing when your toilets overflow I’m so handy, I’ll bring you up to code When your dishwasher’s about to explode
Now you see that your furnace is needing some service I’m fully bonded, no need to be nervous Perhaps you would like a new counter Formica Maybe I’ll hook up your dish washer combo dryer But all your pipes are antique Your water pressure’s too weak You got an attic full of dry rot Because your roof sprung a leak Your fridge is starting to reek Your hardwood floors really squeak But don’t you worry I’ll just show you my amazing technique Now let me glue that, glue that and screw that, screw that Any random chore you got, well I can do that, do that Or maybe I’ll just rewire your house for fun I got 99 problems but a switch ain’t one
I’m so handy, everyone says so I’ll grout your bathroom, resurface your patio I’m so handy, I’m the guy to know When your leaf blower doesn’t blow-oh-oh-oh
Patch the drywall, clean your gutters and mow the lawn Make that phone call, I’ll install anything you want Yeah, check my big staple gun, my socket wrenches are second to none I won’t quit ’til I’m done, don’t even care if I hammer my thumb (ow)
Still rocking my screwdriver Got the whole world thinking I’m MacGyver Your heating bills are shocking I can solve that with some duct tape and some caulking Your house is a disaster, huh? Need a guy whose a master with the plaster, huh? Let me be your stripper Taking off lacquer, no one does it quicker
I’m so handy, you already know I’ll beat all price quotes, my hourly rates are low I’m so handy, you should call this pro I’m in the phone book and se habla español
I was watching the YouTube show Fatman Beyond with Kevin Smith and Marc Bernardin the other day when Marc talked about a new Apple TV + show that he started called Widow’s Bay. He spoke highly of the show and said how he planned on continuing to watch it. It piqued my curiosity so i watched episode one tonight.
There are four total episodes released at this point, three in the same night. I have to say that this first episode does an amazing job of grabbing your attention and I find myself fully into the show, excited about watching the next episode.
The premise of the show is there is a small time mayor Tom Loftis (Matthew Rhys) is trying to increase the tourism to the island where they live, but he is having trouble from the locals who are about as superstitious as you will find. Sadly, the superstitions are having the same affect on Tom as he is becoming paranoid and uneasy.
However, clearly there are strange things going on with this island, including some potentially soul-stealing fog.
This show is right up my alley. It feels like a throwback to a combination of LOST, Stephen King and Jaws. I loved the final shot of the first episode with an electric chair way beneath the town in a tunnel. What does that have to do with the bizarre events that have Tom so spooked.
The show has done a great job of building tension and creating an air of paranoia among Tom and the viewers. With the supernatural elements in existence, the town’s truth is the central mystery. It is appealing and compelling.
One of the best characters so far is played by Stephen Root, which is always awesome. This character is being set as on the opposite side of Tom, as he pushes the crazy ideas of the island.
I will be continuing with Widow’s Bay on Apple TV + moving forward. I’m hoping to get to the second episode sometime tomorrow.
Sometimes I really want to be alone But that’s one state I’m never in Because I know that I’ve got millions upon millions Of tiny, one-celled organisms living on my skin
I rub and scrub until my flesh is raw and bleeding (Germs) But they just come right back again (Germs) I can’t even see’em, but I know they’re up to something Hey, don’t touch that – you don’t know where it’s been!
They’re all over me They’re inside of me Can’t get’em off a me
I’m covered with… microscopic bacteria What do they want from me What’ll they do to me? There’s no escape for me I’m crawling with microscopic bacteria
Now if I ever dare to go to sleep That’s when they start their sneak attack In the morning I wake up in utter horror To find my teeth are covered with bacterial plaque
Can’t get those parasitic creatures off my face (Germs) And there’s more comin’ every day (Germs) I never said that they could camp out on my body I wish they’d pack their tiny little bags and move away
They’re all over me They’re inside of me Can’t get’em off a me I’m covered with… microscopic bacteria What do they want from me What’ll they do to me? There’s no escape for me I’m crawling with microscopic bacteria
They’re creepin’ around my shorts They’re under the bathroom sink They’re ridin’ inside my car They’re swimmin’ in every drink They’re hidin’ between my toes They’re lurkin’ in every kiss I got’em way up my nose In every orifice I’m gonna show them who’s boss I’m gonna get even yet Just gimme some Lysol spray Just hand me a moist towelette Don’t tell me I’m paranoid I know that they’re after me Look under the microscope See??
They’re all over me They’re inside of me Can’t get’em off a me I’m covered with microscopic bacteria What do they want from me What’ll they do to me? There’s no escape for me I’m crawling with microscopic bacteria
They’re all over me I can feel’em all over me Over every part of me Microscopic bacteria I know they’re watching me They’re always watching me They’re coming after me Microscopic bacteria Won’t somebody help Please somebody help me You’ve got to believe me They’re out to get me They want to control me They want to destroy me They’re tryin’ to kill me It kind of upsets me
It’s been one week since we got to see Cheatin’ lovers and cousins that marry Five days since they had the show With the hermaphrodite, the slut and the crack ho Three days since we heard the tale About the guy who learned his woman was a she-male Yesterday it occurred to me That I’ve been watchin’ a bit too much Jerry Springer
Holy cow, did you see it last week? Well, they had this one freak Who sucker-punched his whole family Do you recall when the brawl became a total free-for-all? And Jerry’s in the middle tryin’ to be the referee Hey, see the stripper with the implants? She likes to lap dance And date the boyfriend of her mother Now here comes Jerry’s next guest And it’s a slugfest ‘Cause it’s her trailer trash brother
Nymphomaniac is back on crack, it’s like When Animals Attack They all exhibit reprehensible behavior Hit ’em in the nose, tear off their clothes Step on their toes, that’s how it goes They get so violent they have to sign a waiver
They’re always swearin’, cursin’, kickin’ butt and pointin’ blame On the air? They don’t care, they’ve got no shame There was one guy who I’m sure felt a little strange When he found out that his wife had a sex change They have a tendency to scream and yell constantly They have a history of ripping off their shirts
It’s been one week since they had the fight With the Siamese twins and the transvestite Five days since that awful brawl They still haven’t got the blood off the wall It’s been three days since the bitter feud Between the KKK and that gay Jewish black dude Yesterday, it finally dawned on me I’m spendin’ way too much time on that Jerry Springer
Baby, I’ve been sleepin’ with your sister Oh, which one? All of ’em Ah, well, I’ve been sleepin’ with your best friend Jake Yeah? Well, me too, and, I’ve been sleepin’ with your dog Woofie Woofie, you bi-, well I’m also sleepin’ with your pet goat That goat doesn’t love you
Once you start watchin’, there’s just no stoppin’ Your brain shuts down, then your IQ’s droppin’ Jerry’s the king of confrontation He’s a sensation, he puts the sin in syndication It’s totally worthless, like a bad check It’s like a train wreck Don’t want to stare, but you can’t look away Like Sally Jesse he does talk shows But with more weirdos The ratings jumpin’ higher every day
If you’ve seen the show, well then you know It’s just as low as you can go The guests are tacky and they’re lacking in their hygiene And pretty soon some ugly goon comes in the room and then it’s boom In the face of some unsuspecting drag queen
Well, it’s the kind of show where people scream obscenities Yankin’ hair, throwin’ chairs at their hubbies Jerry, Jerry, now the crowd starts their favorite chant Should I turn off my TV? I just can’t I have a tendency to watch it religiously I have a history of taping each one
It’s been one week since the show about Psycho killers with problems they should work out Five days since the big surprise When some losers wife said that she’s still dating twenty guys Three days since he interviewed A bunch of psychic porn star midgets who were all nude Yesterday, it occurred to me That I’ve been watchin’ a bit too much Jerry Springer
Tired of wastin’ my time on that Jerry Springer I’ve got way too much class to watch Jerry Springer Come over here and pull on my finger
These two episodes were remarkably dark and heartbreaking as the community on the island took a turn into one of savagery and chaos.
Jack started out that third episode coming to Ralph’s camp and offering everyone meat. They had killed a pig and invited all to come share it at their camp.
It was a terrible mistake to go.
Simon had told them that it was a trap, and it absolutely turned out to be a mistake to attend.
Simon was the focus of episode three, and that really made me nervous for him. When he wound up being stabbed to death by Jack’s camp when they mistook him for “The Beast,” I remembered that scene from previous variations of the story. It really was a tough thing to watch and seeing Simon’s body drift away into the sea was heartbreaking.
The death of Piggy was even worse. In this version, Piggy is hit on the head with a rock thrown by Roger, but he is not killed immediately. In other versions, including the novel and the movie, this blow to the head lead directly to Piggy’s death. Here, Ralph is able to get Piggy out of the camp and into the jungle. Piggy survived for awhile, but it was clear that his time was nearing an end. The extra time between Piggy and Ralph made this moment even more painful to watch. Seeing Ralph dig a grave for his friend was another tragic moment.
I was not overly clear on the “Beast” in this version, but it did turn out to be a parachuter who had died, entangled with his parachute. The kids’ imagination and own fears made this to be even worse.
I do not love the ending of the show, which feels fairly faithful to other versions I have seen. The arrival of the British naval officer, attracted to the island from the smoke of the fire that was set to flush Ralph out of his hiding place by the Hunters. I want to know more… what happened to the boys? To Jack? To Roger? These are murderers, as Piggy said at the beginning of episode four. We saw the break down of civilized from the boys and I wish to know consequences for their actions. I did not feel for Jack, whose shocked stare was the last imagery we saw of him. He had plenty of opportunity to do the right thing, but he consistently chose the path of cruelty.
Piggy had wanted to give Jack a chance to do the right thing, after a raiding party arrived in episode three and stole his glasses in the middle of the night. He was willing to give them the benefit of the doubt, but it only led to tragedy.
Once again, young boys are among the worst out there and without a strong hand, they will become savages. That’s the take away here, right?
This was an emotional adaptation of a dark and brutal novel. The performances were really strong, and the adaptation was excellent. The episodes are each about an hour long and can be viewed on Netflix.
Video featured: Aisha Tyler, Margaret Cho, Eric Stonestreet, Jack Black, and Kristen Schaal
Lyrics
It might seem crazy, wearing stripes and plaid I Instagram every meal I’ve had All my used liquor bottles are on display We can go to see a show but I’ll make you pay
Wear my belt with suspenders and sandals with my socks (Because I’m tacky) Got some new glitter Uggs and lovely pink sequined Crocs (Because I’m tacky) Never let you forget some favor I did for you (Because I’m tacky) If you’re okay with that, then, you might just be tacky, too
I meet some chick, ask her this and that Like ‘Are you pregnant girl, or just really fat?’ (what?) Well, now I’m dropping names almost constantly That’s what Kanye West keeps telling me, here’s why
Wear my Ed Hardy shirt with fluorescent orange pants (Because I’m tacky) Got my new resume it’s printed in Comic Sans (Because I’m tacky) Think it’s fun threatening waiters with a bad Yelp review (Because I’m tacky) If you think that’s just fine, then, you’re probably tacky, too
Bring me shame, can’t nothing Bring me shame, I never know why Bring me shame, can’t nothing Bring me shame, I said Bring me shame, can’t nothing Bring me shame, it’s pointless to try Bring me shame, can’t nothing Bring me shame, I said
43 Bumper Stickers and a YOLO license plate (Because I’m tacky) Bring along my coupon book whenever I’m on a date (Because I’m tacky) Practice my twerking moves in line at the DMV (Because I’m tacky) Took the whole bowl of restaurant mints. Hey, it said they’re free (Because I’m tacky) I get drunk at the bank And take off my shirt, at least (Because I’m tacky) I would live-tweet a funeral, take selfies with the deceased (Because I’m tacky) If I’m bit by a zombie, I’m probably not telling you (Because I’m tacky) If you don’t think that’s bad, guess what, then you’re tacky, too
Writer: Scott Storch / Ray Charles / Carl Allen Sturken / Curtis James Jackson / Chad Hugo / Pharrell Williams / Brandon Flowers / Brian Burton / Robert Hardy / Kanye West / Jaime Gomez / David Jolicoeur / Trevor Smith / Damon Albarn / Scott Weiland / Saul Hudson / Renald J. Richard / Rivers Cuomo / Ray Anthony / Eric Judy / Michael Fratantuno / Thomas Calloway / Terence Yoshiaki Graves / Vada J. Nobles / Dann Michael Gallucci / Christopher Anthony Martin / Nicholas Mccarthy / Ronnie Vannucci / Mark Stoermer / Paul Robert Thomson / Berryman Guy Rupert / Buckland Jonathan Mark / Alisha Quiona Brooks / Champion William / George Pajon Jr. / David G Kushner / Isaac K Brock / Calvin Cordozar Broadus Jr. / Terry Rendal / Al Yankovic / Thomas Werner / Matthew William Sorum / Alexander Paul Kaprano Huntley / Alla Pineda / Christopher Jamie Hewlett / Dave Brent Flowers / Duff Rose Mckagen / Evan A. Rodgers
Album: Straight Outta Lynwood
Released: 2006
Style: Polka/Comedy
Songs: “The Chicken Dance,” “Let’s Get it Started,” “Take Me Out,” “Beverly Hills,” “Speed of Sound,” “Float On,” “Feel Good Inc.,” “Don’t Cha,” “Somebody Told Me,” “Slither,” “Candy Shop,” “Drop It Like It’s Hot,” “Pon de Replay,” “Gold Digger,” and “The Nina Bobina Polka.”
Lyrics
Let’s get it started! (Ha!) Let’s get it started! (In here!) Let’s get it started! (Ha!) Let’s get it started! (In here!) Let’s get it started! (Ha!) Let’s get it started! (In here!) And the bass keeps runnin’, runnin’ And runnin’, runnin’ And runnin’, runnin’, And runnin’, runnin’, I say, don’t you know You say, you don’t know I say… Take me out! I say, you don’t show Don’t move, time is slow I say… (gunshot) Take me out! Beverly Hills, that’s where I wanna be! (Gimme! Gimme!) Living in Beverly Hills Beverly Hills, rollin’ like a celebrity (Gimme! Gimme!) Living in Beverly Hills And birds go flying at the speed of sound To show you how it all began Birds came flying from the underground If you could see it, then you’d understand And we’ll all float on, okay And we’ll all float on All right already, we’ll all float on Now don’t you worry, we’ll all float on All right! Feel good! Feel good! Feel good! Don’t cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me? Don’t cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me? Don’t cha? Don’t cha? Don’t cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me? Don’t cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me? Don’t cha? Don’t cha? Don’t cha, don’t cha, don’t cha? Somebody told me You had a boyfriend Who looked like a girlfriend That I had in February of last year It’s not confidential Well, I got potential A rushin’ and rushin’ around Hey! Hey! Hey! I’ll take you to the candy shop I’ll let you lick a lollipop Go ‘head, girl, don’t you stop Keep goin’ ’til you hit the spot Whoa! (We’ll take you to the candy shop) Yeah! (For one taste o’ what we got) Uh-huh! (We’ll have you spending all you got) Come on! (Keep goin’ ’til you hit the spot) Whoa! When the pimp’s in the crib, ma Drop it like it’s hot Drop it like it’s hot Drop it like it’s hot When the pimp’s gonna get at you Drop it like it’s hot Drop it like it’s hot Come, Mr. DJ, song pon de replay (Come, Mr. DJ, won’t you turn the music up?) All the gal pon the dance floor, wantin’ some more, what (Come, Mr. DJ, won’t you turn the music up?) Hey, mister Please, Mr. DJ Tell me if you hear me Turn the music up! She take my money (She take my money) When I’m in need (When I’m in need) Yes, she’s a triflin’ friend indeed (friend indeed) Well, she’s a gold digger Way over town (way over town) That digs on me Hey! Hey! Now, I ain’t sayin’ she’s a gold digger But she ain’t messin’ with no broke, broke Now, I ain’t sayin’ she’s a gold digger But she ain’t messin’ with no broke, broke Get down, girl, go ‘head, get down (I gotta leave) Get down, girl, go ‘head, get down (I gotta leave) Get down, girl, go ‘head, get down (I gotta leave) Get down, girl, go ‘head! But I ain’t sayin’ she’s a Gold, gold digger Gold, gold digger Gold, gold digger Hey!
The brand new Netflix four episode limited series that proves young boys are the worst people ever dropped on Netflix today with a new variation of The Lord of the Flies.
The Lord of the Flies is a classic tale that has been retold several times over the years in movie format. This time, the BBC redid the story into a limited series.
The group of boys, after surviving a plane crash on an isolated island, form a society of their own in an attempt to bring some order to the chaos. As I mentioned earlier, young boys are the worst anything and their grouping only leads to trouble.
The first episode focuses on Piggy (David McKenna) and his tragically doomed character. We are introduced to Piggy (real name Nicholas) doing his best Jack Shepard in the jungle on LOST imitation. Piggy comes across Ralph (Winston Sawyers). Ralph, who is supposed to be the good one, immediately screwed Piggy over by telling everyone that his name was Piggy, even though he was told that he hated that name.
Of course, Ralph is nowhere near as much of a jerk as Jack (Lox Pratt). The blonde bully is already scheming how to grab more power. Lox Pratt is going from this and into the role of Draco Malfoy on the new Harry Potter series. I wonder if he worries about being typecast as a villain.
There were some more LOST connections as the boys find the pilot in the jungle, dead. They basically shove him off the mountain because they could not carry him. Piggy seemed to be the only one who had any problem with this.
No one was listening to Piggy either when they nearly burned down the whole island with their too large fire (which they started with Piggy’s glasses in one of the more uncomfortable moments). The episode ended with the implication that one of the kids, the one with the birthmark on his face, was lost in the fire.
The first episode of the new Lord of the Flies was solid. I have been a fan of the book and other versions of the story for years and I thought this was well done, well acted, and full of a darkness that you would expect from this IP.
EYG- Embrace Your Geekness 