“Do you expect me to talk?”

“No Mr. Bond, I expect you to die.”

Perhaps the most famous quote from the Bond franchise appeared in the third film in the series, one of my all-time favorite Bond films, Goldfinger.

Auric Goldfinger (Gert Fröbe) is our main villain in this installment, a man with an obsession for gold and a plan to irradiate the gold supply at Fort Knox.  James Bond (Sean Connery) is along for the ride in an attempt to stop him.

There are some iconic moments and characters that appeared in Goldfinger.  Auric Goldfinger’s loyal right hand man, Oddjob (Harold Sakata) and his projectile hat was seen here.  We also meet the one and only Pussy Galore (Honor Blackman), the most appropriately named Bond girl ever.  The movie contains perhaps one of the most infamous death scenes in film history with the gold paint on the girl, that even appeared on the movie poster.

I have to say, rewatching this after so many years, there is a scene that makes me pretty uncomfortable.  James Bond certainly seems as if he forces himself on to Pussy in the barn.  They play it off as if she was seduced and became enthralled with Bond, but it sure looked like, at the minimum, sexual assault and, at the worst, rape.  This was a different era, but that scene truly plays worse in today’s world.

The rest of the movie is solid, superspy action with an iconic villain facing off against Bond.  Bond was off his game nearly the entire film, as Auric kept him distracted throughout.  Goldfinger certainly let his “super villain” tendency get in the way of his evil plan.  He should have let that laser cut through Bond in that famous scene and his plan would have gone off without a hitch.  His own negative tendencies led to his own demise.

It was also interesting how the film recast Felix Leiter.  At first, in Dr. No, the CIA agent was played by Jack Lord, who declined the role when offered to him, and now he was portrayed by Cec Linder.

One of the best components of this film is the awesome theme song, something that becomes more of an important part to the franchise moving forward.  Goldfinger was sung by Dame Shirley Bassey and it kicks the film off with a mysterious and eerie beginning.

Still near the top of the Bond films, I did find that scene in the hay with James and Pussy to be iffy.  Otherwise, this is a classic Bond adventure that redefined the franchise moving forward.

The James Bond film franchise took a step forward with the underappreciated From Russia with Love, another film based on the Ian Fleming books.

Bond (Sean Connery) is in pursuit of a Russian decoding machine, known as “Lektor,” and must gain possession of it before the evil S.P.E.C.T.R.E organization gets its hands on it.  The Russian government wants it as well and they send a spy Tatiana Romanov (Daniela Bianchi) to go undercover with Bond to get it.

The Cold War was fully underway and this spy thriller really played into the tensions in the world at the time.  It was a film that was not just a “Bond” movie, but could be considered a straight-up Cold War movie itself.

I had no idea how much the Austin Powers characters of Dr. Evil and his crew were parodies of actual characters from the Bond franchise until I saw the members of S.P.E.C.T.R.E.  Rosa Klebb (Lotte Lenya) looked to be exactly like Frau Farbissina while the character of Number One (who would eventually be revealed as Blofeld though not named here) was Dr. Evil right down to the cat he held.  Having this background makes one appreciate the Austin Powers movie more.

Back to From Russia with Love, there was a distinct Hitchcockian feel to the film, in particular the ending half of the film.  Not only did it take place on a train, which was one of Hitchcock’s preferred settings, but the helicopter at the end felt like an allusion to North by Northwest.  The inspiration from Hitchcock is what makes this film feel different than some of the other Bond movies.

This is the first time we see M (Bernard Lee) and his gadgets that play a huge role in the film.  We also get a powerhouse heavy in Donald “Red” Grant (Robert Shaw).

I was surprised how the film was more connected to Dr. No than I thought it was.  I had always pictured the Bond series as more of a one off adventure, but there was definitely continuity involved in the story as “Number One” made reference to Dr. No in this film.

This was a very well done Bond movie and should be considered one of the better installments of the franchise.

April 2020 was supposed to see the release of the 25th installment in the James Bond franchise, No Time to Die.  For that achievement, I had hoped to watch the previous Bond movies in preparation.  However, time had caught up with me and, unfortunately, that was something that was not going to happen.

However, with the outbreak of COVID-19 worldwide, the Universal movie was pushed back from its April release date until November 12th, and with the school closed, I suddenly have quite a bit of time to go through the Bond franchise, enough time where I do not even have to binge it.

Which means that I am starting off on Amazon Prime with Dr. No, the 1962 film that started it all, based on the novelized hero from Ian Fleming.

I actually do not think that I had ever seen Dr. No before as this was unfamiliar to me.  The adventures of James Bond (Sean Connery) kick off with his battle with Dr. No (Joseph Wiseman) on his nuclear island.  The very first Bond girl is here as well as we meet Honey Ryder (Ursula Andress) upon that island.

The film starts with a series of spy movie scenes, including one tense scene with a giant tarantula spider.  The first half of this movie was fun, with Bond moving from one bedroom to another.  The second half of the movie turned more into the sci-fi type action thriller you might see from this franchise.

Lots of the typical Bond fare was here, but it was considerably lower key than in future installments.  I have to say, Bond certainly made his way around with the women too.  He probably could not get away with that in today’s society.

Sean Connery is fantastic as James Bond and you can see here why some people place him at the top of the James Bond list.  He is charming and likable while still being a dangerous man.

Dr. No begins the trend of the over-the-top Bond villain that we see consistently over the years.  Dr. No was fine for what he was, but the best thing that Dr. No would do was name drop the organization Spectre, which becomes a huge recurring enemy for Bond.

There are plenty of moments that make you wonder what people are thinking and why they do not just shoot Bond or Honey when they have the chance.  That credibility is stretched throughout the entire franchise, a franchise that certainly requires some suspension of disbelief.  The viewer is willing to do this because you are having such a good time with the character of Bond that you forgive the conveniences of the spy’s life.

I was also surprised to see original Hawaii 5-0 star Jack Lord as CIA agent Felix Leiter.  I was not expecting that familiar of a face to pop up in the movie.

Dr. No was fun and exciting, providing an entertaining escape for the viewer and helped plant the seeds for the future of the Bond series.  A definite good start.

I gave it my best chance, but I had to eliminate the Punish-Myself-Binge at four movies.  Sorry, but that was all I could stand.

I have been wanting to re-watch this film for awhile now and I figured this would be a good time to go ahead and do it.

A Time to Kill is a film directed by Joel Schumacher and starred Matthew McConaughey, Samuel L. Jackson and Sandra Bullock.

After the brutal rape of his 10-year old daughter by two white boys, Carl Lee Hailey (Samuel L. Jackson) took justice into his own hands, shooting and killing them on the steps of the Mississippi courthouse.  Cocky young lawyer Jake Brigance (Matthew McConaughey) took the case which ignited a racial firestorm.

Race is a huge theme of the film, of course, with the question of whether Carl Lee Hailey could receive a fair trial in Mississippi being right out front.  The Ku Klux Klan became a huge part of the conflict as well, bringing the level of hatred and violence to a deadly height.

Speaking of that, I wonder if Keifer Sutherland was really glad to get cast as Jack Bauer in the 24 series, because he was constantly being cast as steel faced villains in so many films of the time.  Here he was Freddie Cobb, the brother of one of the men Carl Lee shot and the emphasis behind the return of the KKK to the town.  Kiefer had a menacing glare that he put on display in a ton of films, from Stand By Me to A Few Good Men to The Lost Boys.  I’m just saying that it was probably a relief to be seen as a hero once.

While some of this film drags, the scenes in the courtroom, in particular Jake’s summation, is powerful and emotionally resonant.  When the film is at its best, the film is soaring.

Samuel L. Jackson is great as Carl Lee and his relationship with Jake is vital to the film and the resolution of the case.

Sandra Bullock, Donald Sutherland, Charles Dutton, Oliver Platt, Ashley Judd, Kevin Spacey, and Chris Cooper lead a cast that is very strong with all of their performances.

A Time to Kill hits hard and has a great message that is still relevant today.

The fourth movie in the Punish-Myself-Binge was destined to be perceived by me differently simply because it followed my viewing of the horrid The Love Guru.  It couldn’t be worse, could it?

Cop Out was the notorious buddy cop movie directed by Kevin Smith and starring Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan.  Cop Out received an 18% on Rotten Tomatoes and a pretty low 39% on the audience score.  Kevin Smith tells a story about how difficult it was for him to work with Bruce Willis.  Still, could it be worse than The Love Guru?

Well, by comparison to The Love Guru, Cop Out looks like The Godfather.  It’s not, of course.  It’s a bad movie, but after watching the travesty that was the Mike Myers’ mess, anything would have looked better.  In fact, Cop Out was probably the best of the four movies that I have looked at so far today.

That is not saying that I would consider this that elusive “guilty pleasure” that I started this binge looking for because it was not.  Still, there were some parts that were fine.

Cop Out was predictable and featured just about every last buddy cop trope imaginable.  Tracy Morgan was just too loud all the time (although there was a cute scene in an interrogation room where Morgan was quoting movies).

The story was simple and yet way too messy.  The main villain, named Poh Boy, was desperately distracting because I recognized him but could not place the face.  It bothered me for the first half of the movie until I broke down and pulled out IMDB for a search.  As soon as I saw a more recent picture of the actor playing Poh Boy, which was Guillermo Diaz, I recognized him as Huck from Scandal.  That was a relief.

This could have easily have been a Bad Boys movie without breaking a sweat.  Kevin Hart could take the role played by Tracy Morgan and make it his own.  There was absolutely nothing special or different about this movie, which is usually not what you see in a Kevin Smith movie.  Of course, this was a big studio film that helped convince Smith to basically do his own films from then on.

Cop Out fell into a good space in my viewing schedule because I did like it more than Twilight, The Love Guru and The Last Airbender, but it will never be confused with a good movie.

Good God.

The third movie in my Punish-Myself-Binge may just be the worst of the three, which is saying something considering I watched Twilight and The Last Airbender.

The Love Guru was up next and it is absolutely one of the most unfunny, obnoxious, downright offensive movie I have ever seen.  It was at 14% on Rotten Tomatoes, which is actually higher than I thought it would be.  Truthfully, even the audience score was low, down at 33%.

And I really like Mike Myers.  I have always enjoyed him.  I loved him as Tommy Maitland, the host of The new Gong Show as well as other of his films.  This thing though… it is atrocious.

There are quality actors in this train wreck too.  It is one of those movies that make you wonder why they would take a chance with their careers being involved in this piece of garbage.   For God’s sake, Stephen Colbert and John Oliver, who are absolutely magnificent normally and who I love, are in this film and they can’t even pull this from the crapper.

This is up there with the absolute worst films I have ever seen.  It is Movie 43, Batman & Robin, Holmes & Watson bad.

I am really struggling to get through this binge.  This thing is just a total waste of time and, despite being quarantined, I can think of 100 things to do better with my time than watching The Love Guru.

Maybe the whole Punish-Myself-Binge was a bad idea.  However, perhaps the next one will be better.  IT HAS TO BE!

So I was looking for a theme for this weekend’s binge-a-thon and then I watched The Last Airbender.  After watching that atrocious film, I came up with an idea.  It is officially the Punish-Myself-Binge.  The rules… I had to choose films that are considered terrible by many (if not most) and that I had never seen before.  That way, I can look at them with fresh eyes and make my own judgment.  I would do my best not to allow the film’s reputation creep into my review.  Who knows… maybe I can find a guilty pleasure or two.

Unfortunately, the second (remember Last Airbender was the first) film in the Punish-Myself-Binge will not be the guilty pleasure.

The 2nd film is Twilight, which sits at a 49% on Rotten Tomatoes and I have never watched the entire film. Yes I have seen bits of it, but it still qualifies.  I did not find this to be any good because, mainly, I am not a teenage girl.

Twilight is melodramatic claptrap that should be ashamed of inspiring the Fifty Shades of Gray series.  This is a film that Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson have spent years trying to overcome.  They are two really exceptional actors now but who were anything but at this point.

Let’s ignore the fact that vampires should not sparkle in the sunlight (they should burst into flames).  Let’s ignore the fact that Edward stated that he had been 17 years old for years (which makes one wonder how he dealt with school).  Let’s just look at the relationship between Bella and Edward.

Why should I invest with these two dopey kids?  I am not sure exactly why Bella started to like Edward, outside of the “he’s good looking” vibe.  He was anything but nice to her.  In fact, he acted as if she stunk.  Hey, that sounds like a winner.  Does he save her?  Yes, but he was also rude and obnoxious about it.  In my mind, she fell for Edward really quickly.  Certainly not quickly enough to accept that he was a vampire.

She figured out the secret of his vampirism, but why would that not send her screaming into the night?

There are as many scenes in Twilight that make me want to laugh as any other.  It was quite funny, albeit unintentionally.  The tree jumping scene had my mouth hanging open.

Oh, and the baseball scene with the rival vampire group.  LOL

Anna Kendrick was in this.  I did not know that.

Bella was one of the biggest damsels in distress I have ever seen in any movies.  She was constantly in trouble and requiring saving.  There is zero to the character outside of her loveliness.

And should I talk about that ending?  Holy cow it was just horrible.  The scene with Edward saving Bella with his family burning James (Cam Gigandet) was surreal and laugh out loud ridiculous.

Boy this was bad.  And not so bad it was good either.

Hope I can maintain this Punish-Myself-Binge…

With the continual staying at home during the COVID-19 pandemic, it gives me an opportunity to finally watch what some consider to be one of the worst movies ever made.  I have never taken the time to watch M. Night Shyamalan’s infamous The Last Airbender.  Could it be as atrocious as so many people say?

Simply put… yes, it can be.

This is utterly horrific.

I was not a fan of the EYG Hall of Fame series, Avatar: The Last Airbender, but I can imagine that dedicated fans of that animated series could only look at this adaptation as an insult and a slap to the face.

I mean, there is nothing here that is good at all.  The acting is wooden and dull.  The dialogue of the film is some of the worst you are ever going to hear on a wide release of a big budget tentpole film.  The CGI and special effects are laughable.  I don’t know how many times I looked at the screen and thought to myself, “Hey, green screen!”

Dev Patel is in this mess.  He would eventually become a respected actor, but it had to have been a challenge overcoming this movie.  Both Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson had to work really hard to get past their roles in Twilight.  Fortunately for Dev there was only one The Last Airbender to get by.

Boring.  Ridiculous story and dialogue.  Acting?  Ugh.  CGI that was just not good.

It is amazing but everybody was right about this.  It was one of the worst things I have seen and it was utter garbage.  One of the rare films to receive this classification….