Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #38

#38

Canadian Idiot

Title: “Canadian Idiot”

Album: Straight Outta Lynwood

Released: 2006

Parody: “American Idiot” by Green Day

Written:  Billie Joe Armstrong / Frank Edwin III Wright / Mike Ryan Pritchard /Al Yancovic

Genre: Rock/Comedy

Topic: Poking fun at stereotyes of Canadians.

Lyrics

Don’t want to be a Canadian idiot

Don’t want to be some beer swillin’ hockey nut
And do I look like some frost bitten hosehead
I never learned my alphabet from A to zed

They all live on donuts and moose meat
And they leave the house without packin’ heat
Never even bring their guns to the mall
And you know what else is too funny
Their stupid monopoly money
Can’t take ’em seriously at all

Well maple syrup and snow’s what they export
They treat curling just like it’s a real sport
They think their silly accent is so cute
Can’t understand a thing they’re talking aboot

Sure they got their national health care
Cheaper meds, low crime rates and clean air
Then again well they got Celine Dion
Eat their weight in Kraft macaroni
And dream of driving a Zamboni
All over Saskatchewan

Don’t want to be a Canadian idiot
We’ll figure out their temperature in Celsius
See the map they’re hovering right over us
Tell you the truth it makes me kinda nervous

Always hear the same kind of story
Break your nose and they’ll just say sorry
Tell me what kind of freaks are that polite
It’s gotta mean they’re all up to something
So quick before they see it coming
Time for a pre-emptive strike

Source: LyricFind

Until Tomorrow

Until Tomorrow

By K.P.

Have you ever had deja vu, well this I used to, too. That was until the day I met the old man. The day started the same as before, me and Tim, my best friend since forever, would go to the farm and lift hay and take care of the sheep and other odd jobs around the farm. We live in the village of Orgon, a village that until a few years ago was nothing, then someone found a cave filled with gold, silver, and other minerals. 

“Roger, stop daydreaming and get back to lifting hay.” Tim yells. I often just stop what I am doing and start staring off into the mountain.  I don’t know why, but sometimes I swear that I can see something on the mountain.

“Alright, I’m coming.” I called back. 

“You better I’m not doing all the work.” he retorts and we both get back to our job.

Hours pass on the farm and we finally are done. It’s around noon when we get back to the village. Most days it’s empty with everyone deep in the mines in search of riches but, today two strangers on horseback and masks were in front of my house.

“Roger Temporalin, come with us.” they say in complete unison, but I could tell they hadn’t rehearsed that line.

“Why should I, I don’t feel like going anywhere with the Pony Pals.” I say, which probably wasn’t the smartest idea, since the one to the right looked pretty jacked and the other had a sword.

“Hold your tongue boy.” the one to the left said, “before you lose it.”

“Back off Red, he ain’t a problem.” the other told him, “just come with us, and no one here gets hurt.” he says to me.

“Why do you want him?” Tim squeaks. He was always nervous around people he didn’t know. I was surprised he would talk at all after seeing them. 

“That is of no concern to you.” Red says. I got a bad feeling from the way he said this so I turned to Tim and said.

“Run.” and I sprinted towards the woods and hoped that Tim would follow though I knew they wouldn’t catch him, he was always the fastest when we raced.

“Hey, stop.” They both yell surprised, as we run into the woods.

After what seemed like hours, we finally came to a stop by a large oak tree. 

“Do you think we lost them?” Tim huffed “I hope we can stay here and not get caught.” 

“You should be safe here for a while, Roger,” said a gruff voice. Startled Tim and I jumped back. “Sorry for the scare, but I thought you should know that they’re  nowhere near here.”

“Who are you?” I asked. The voice belonged to an old guy that looked pretty beat up. He had a long scar from the bridge of his nose to the edge of his jaw on the left side. His skin was tan and leathery like he worked in the sun for years, so he must not have lived near here because it never was very sunny, only overcast. 

“My name doesn’t matter.” He said with a dark expression. “You can call me whatever you want.” 

“What do you want, Old Man.” I asked defensively . , “How do you know my name?” 

“I have been sent to help and protect you from the Kronos Crusade,” He stated flatly. “The two people in town who were on the horses, the two with the masks. They want to take you to their leader, who wishes to use you in a ritual.” 

“Why would they want me?” I ask angrily. Who was this guy and why would anyone want me, and what kind of maniac would believe in magic.

“I don’t know.” the old man said solemnly. I could tell he was lying. 

“How do we know that we can trust you?” Tim asked sheepishly.

“You can, I’m getting paid.” He boasted.

“Well that sure helps.” I said sarcastically. I had a bad feeling about the old man, I trusted him the same I trusted a wolf in a sheep pen. 

“Well if you’re done asking questions, we better get a move on.” the old man said. 

“Where would we go?” Tim asked nervously.

“My house in the mountains.” The old man said solemnly and started off toward the mountain. “Aren’t you coming?” he said, turning back. 

After hours of walking through the woods, we came to a small hut that looked like it’s been here forever. It was probably 14 feet tall at the top of the roof and about 20 feet across. 

“We’re here.” the old man said. 

  “So what do we do now?” I said aggressively.

“With a little luck, stay here and wait until tomorrow,” The old man said matter of factly,”  then you can go back to your life and you can forget all about this.”

“Why would they stop trying to find me after today?” I said confused.

“Theres a time limit, I guess. For the ritual, I mean” The old man said. “I think it can only happen today or something.” 

“So, what are we going to do here until tomorrow?” Tim asks, changing the subject. 

“You two should stay inside while I keep watch.” the old man answers, and with that me and Tim went inside and took a nap.

After I woke up from my nap, I went to check on the old man. It was dusk, and the old man was chopping wood out front. He looked angry and hurt, I wondered why.

“What are you doing out of the hut?” the old man grunted, not looking up. “I thought I told you to stay inside until tomorrow.” 

“Jeez, someone’s a cranky pants.” I retorted, “I was just checking if it was the morning, I was sleeping in there.”

“It’s only been 3 hours since we got here, get back inside.” He said in his gruff old voice.

“Yeah, get back inside, there’s some bad people in these woods.” A Young voice said in a sing-song voice. The old man and I turned to see Red, the masked horseman that was at my house.

“How did you find me?” I blurted out.

“I have some experience in finding people.” He said happily. 

“Red, why don’t you take a break this time.” the old man said hopefully. “Maybe this time we come to an agreement to stop this madness.” 

“What are you talking about, old man?” I asked, confused. What did he mean this time? Did they know each other, were they working together? 

“Hopefully, you’ll never need to know, kid.” the old man said, dropping the axe and extending his right hand. “Now stand back, I need to deal with this clown.” 

“How quaint, the old man thinks he can save anyone.” Red said angrily. He took his sword and swung at the air leaving a gaping void where he swung. 

“This again, I haven’t learned anything new.” the old man said smugly. A giant vine came out of the old man’s right and struck Red in the head knocking off his mask. Revealing Red looked exactly like a younger version of the old man.

“Enough of this.” Red said angrily, jumping into the void. The next second the world went black. Then I found myself in the middle of a gem-filled cave, where hundreds of masked people stood staring at me. I was on some sort of altar, and behind me stood Red and an old guy with long, black hair and an old fashioned robe

“I see you have finally woken up.” the robed man said. “You sure have been hard to capture, harder than most.”

“What do you want from me?” I yelled desperately.

“Didn’t that traitor tell you?” The robed man responded. “Well no matter, I am Dyon, the leader of the Kronos Crusade, and you are here to help me, you see, I didn’t really want to die, so I gathered some men a performed a ritual that gave me eternal life, the only downside is that I am now in a loop, and to stay immortal I must repeat the ritual, so you and me are in an endless chase so to speak.” He concluded dramatically. 

“What do you mean ‘you and me’?” I questioned. 

“Oh, I forgot to tell you.” Dyon laughed. “The ritual only works if we use you or someone else like, someone born during a rift in time like you.” 

“Let’s just get this over with.” Red growls. “The day is almost over.” 

“Ah, you are right, well we mustn’t be late.” Dyon said, almost sad. “Let’s begin the ritual.” I was desperate for a way out, so I jumped up and tried to grab Dyon, get a hostage, but the second I did something hit me in the face. Red had struck me with his sword leaving a small cut from the bridge of my nose going left to my jaw, and realization hit me. All these people were me from the countless times the ritual was performed.

“Ah, so you see how you could not win.” Red said softly. “If something has happened this many times it must be destiny.”  After all I went through I would fail. The room filled with chanting, the sound was like drumming. After a second I started to float on the altar, I started to glow and then the world went bright white, then black.

I woke up on the mountain, it was morning. I thought the whole ritual thing had to have been a dream and I had just sleepwalked out here. Running, I went to the farm and my heart dropped, there I was staring back at the morning of the ritual lifting hay.

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #39

#39

Foil

Title: “Foil”

Release: 2014

Album: Mandatory Fun

Parody: “Royals” by Lorde

Written: Joel Little / Alfred Matthew Yankovic / Ella Marija Lani Yelich O’connor

Genre: Pop

Weird Al’s Foil goes from talking about wrapping food in aluminum foil so it will not spoil to talking about the Illuminati and New World Order. Quite the flip of script. The video is hilarious, featuring the one and only Patton Oswalt, as well as comedians Thomas Lennon, and Robert Ben Garant.

Lyrics

I never seem to finish all my food
I always get a doggie bag from the waiter
So I just keep what’s still unchewed
And I take it home, save it for later

But then I deal with fungal rot, bacterial formation
Microbes, enzymes, mould and oxidation
I don’t care, I’ve got a secret trick up my sleeve

I never bother with baggies, glass jars, tupperware containers
Plastic cling wrap, really a no-brainer
I just like to keep all my flavours sealed in tight

With aluminum foil (Foil)
Never settle for less
That kind of wrap is just the best
To keep your sandwich nice and fresh

Stick it in your cooler (Cooler)
Eat it when you’re ready
Then maybe you’ll choose (You’ll choose, you’ll choose, you’ll choose)
A refreshing herbal tea
Mmm, lovely!

Oh, by the way, I’ve cracked the code
I’ve figured out these shadow organizations
And the Illuminati know
That they’re finally primed for world domination

And soon you’ve got black helicopters comin’ cross the border
Puppet masters for the New World Order
Be aware: There’s always someone that’s watching you
And still the government won’t admit they faked the whole moon landing
Thought control rays, psychotronic scanning
Don’t mind that, I’m protected cause I made this hat

From aluminum foil (Foil)
Wear a hat that’s foil lined
In case an alien’s inclined
To probe your butt or read your mind

Looks a bit peculiar (‘culiar)
Seems a little crazy
But someday I’ll prove (I’ll prove, I’ll prove, I’ll prove)
There’s a big conspiracy

Source: Musixmatch

The Boys S5 E8

Spoilers

“Blood and Bone”

Extremely satisfying conclusion for this series.

The characters of The Boys were all served very well in this conclusion. They all feel like they have taken this full circle, back to the beginning. As I said, this was so satisfying of an ending. It is hard to make a finale that really hits all the right notes, and I believe this one was special.

Hughie stepped it up big time in this episode as he really came through. Apparently, much of the ending matched up with what happened in the comics (which I have not read). The end of the episode with Hughie and Butcher facing off over the virus, with Butcher wanting to kill all the supes and Hughie killing him. It was wonderful that Hughie got be be a leader again.

I have had a difficult relationship with Butcher over the five seasons

Homelander’s fall in the White House’s Oval Office was fabulous. The battle between Butcher and Homelander was brutal and the use of Kimiko and Ryan in the battle was great. The final death of Homelander with the crowbar was perfect and gross at the same time. The use of Frenchie’s memory for Kimiko was beautiful, reminding her that rage was not what she did best, that herpower came from her heart .

Annie getting to be the one who finally brings down The Deep is a full circle moment, and the way they paid off the sea creatures getting their revenge on “Kevin” is great. There has not been a character in this show more despicable (except for Homelander) than Deep.

I did not expect that Soldier Boy had been killed last week. I thought Homelander only choked him out, but, apparently, he did kill him. Homelander made a comment about dropping him in the Thames, so I guess that was the end of Soldier Boy.

Sister Sage had her powers taken away with the Kimiko blast and she is happy about it. She does not have to lobotomize herself to enough Taco Bell and reality TV. Sage heading off to Harry Potter land in Orlando is a great end for that character.

MM is reunited with Monique and they get remarried. It also seemed as if MM is taking Ryan in too. It was one of the happier ends of the characters.

Of course, Annie pregnant at the end and involved with Hughie’s “start-up business” was cool too. It felt like another pay off for this relationship that had endured for so long through so much tragedy and turmoil. With Annie being pregnant after aborting the child in a previous season, I think that throwback is another strong character beat.

Terror RIP.

The performances of this show were all outstanding. From Karl Urban and Jack Quaid to Antony Starr and Chace Crawford, from  Karen Fukuhara and Tomer Capone to Daveed Diggs and Colby Minifie, from Erin Moriarty and Cameron Crovetti to Laz Alonso and Jensen Ackles, the cast brought it every episode and made these characters pop (sometimes even literally as head were exploding in moments).

The Boys finished off a strong season and a top-notch super hero satire.

The Never Wavering Arrow

The Never Wavering Arrow

By Z.W.

A bright light shines upon my face as I stir in my sleep. I shield my eyes from the harsh light with my hand and groan. I sit up, rubbing my eyes as I do, silently cursing the wretched sun for interrupting my only time of peace. I look around and see my phone buzz with a notification. Who in their right mind is messaging me this early?

I pick up the phone begrudgingly, reading the notification. 

A message reading “Hey Assan! This is just a message to wake your lazy self up, because heaven forbid you get up at a reasonable time.” comes through from Rowan… Of course. I slightly snicker at the audacity, but it quickly turns into dread at having to go to school.

I stretch my arms and back before standing up and yawning. I pad over to my dresser and throw on a plain white tee with some basic cargo jeans, nothing out of the ordinary for me. I look in the mirror and see how messy my brown hair is… It’s really getting long. I almost consider brushing it, but it being shaggy is more of my style anyway.

I slip on my shoes and school bag and mentally prepare as I head to school, knowing the day is going to be strenuous. When I arrive at the school, Ferns High School for specifics, I’m met with an abrupt meeting with Rowan.

“Hey, sleepyhead! You did make it after all! It’s nice to see your face here every once in a while, you know.” While he speaks, I wonder how someone can be so cheerful in a dull world like this.

“Yeah, yeah, now can you quit with the overzealous yelling? I’d like to be able to hear during my classes today.”  My words sound harsher than intended, but I’m sure Rowan knows this.

“Ah, right, sorry!” He rubs the back of his head sheepishly, having a big grin on his face.

I notice his more nicely dressed attire. Compared to his normal, uncoordinated outfits, this one seems awfully put together and neat. His clothes aren’t wrinkled, his black hair is brushed and done up in a messy bun, and he smells like cologne- maybe too much.

“What’s the occasion? You aren’t dressed like the homeless today.”

“Hey! I’ll have you know I dress perfectly fine normally! But, since you are sooo curious…” He drags on, “I have a date after school!” He flushes with clear excitement and nerves.

“A date? You? I can’t tell if I pity you or the girl who said yes.” I tease. “But hey, good for you, even if you smell like a men’s cologne shop.”

He grins and goes to reply, but is cut off by the bell. It rings mockingly, like it knows the suffering it brings.

“Well, see ya later! And don’t sleep in class either, I’m tired of the teachers complaining about it to me.” He says before rushing off to his first class.

I sigh, a lot of the staff complain to Rowan because 1, he’s the favorite, and 2, I’m his troublesome best friend. I figure I won’t ruin his big day and try to stay awake during these long, boring hours.

The first half of the day goes by pretty quickly, just listening to lectures upon lectures lets the mind drift off to a pretty interesting place- on which I won’t elaborate. Lunch comes and goes just as quickly, with some small talk with Rowan and listening to the background chatter in the lunch room.

My final class periods, on the other hand, couldn’t have been more irritating if they tried. The classes themselves are fine, but it’s the students in them that ruin it. One of, if not the most popular student is in both of them. Alias Bridgenton, the school sports pride. With a total of 10 medals from different competitions, he’s managed to be the most insufferable jerk to be around.

His most notable talent is archery, always winning the competitions held and crushing the competitors with his ego…and skill, I suppose. He never really talks to me, but he always gives me glances that you can’t quite read. His emerald eyes are piercing, and his black hair is almost blue in some lighting. I admit, he’s pretty intimidating.

But, after listening to his loud mouth for those two straining class periods, the bell rings. This time in a much more relieving sense. I grab my things and book it out of the school. The fresh air is an amazing change compared to the sweaty, BO-reeking halls in the building. I don’t bother to look for Rowan, knowing he’s probably off with the girl he mentioned earlier.

I head down the road to the archery range, my safe haven. Archery is my comfort compared to the tiresome work of everyday life. I enter the building and take my recurve bow out of its locker, replacing it with my school stuff in the meantime. Some of the other attendees wave over to me, so I reciprocate the greeting. 

I head over to the range itself; it’s indoors, but it works just as well as any other. I put on my gear and finally begin practicing. Pull the drawstring back, aim, fire, repeat. Such simple actions make such a great hobby.

After a while, my arms grow achy, and my mind is tired. Despite that, I can’t afford to slack off. The most important archery competition of the year is in less than a week. While most people look at it as something Alias will just win, I want to at least attempt to get some recognition. I pull the string back once more, and my weary state must have been obvious because I’m interrupted by a familiar, irritating voice.

“Your stance is off, you know.” The voice reeks of arrogance and ego; I suddenly feel like gagging.

I turn to look who it is, already having a hunch. Alias himself, in all of his prideful glory. He wears a smirk that practically screams, “I’m better than you,” and he probably isn’t wrong. He begins to walk over, walking with the pride of a man who holds himself higher than the atmosphere.

“Assan, was it?” If condescension had a mortal form, it’s him.

“Yeah, Alias, right?” I know the answer, but I may as well make the conversation a little more bearable.

“The one and only. Now, sorry to intrude on your practice, but I couldn’t help but notice your poor form. You do know better than this, yes?”

I nod, refraining from rolling my eyes.

“Good, but if you can’t even keep your form at a reasonable state, then why are you practicing? A good archer mustn’t overwork themselves too much; I can account for that.” He looks off as he speaks, as if caught in a memory. He shakes his head, “Regardless, I’ve seen your talent, and I wouldn’t want you to burn it out, before a competition no less.”

I don’t know how to feel about that; such words of praise are surprising from him. I sigh and shake my head, looking back at my bow.

“I assume you’ll be participating in the competition, yes?” his words break the brief silence.

I nod, “Yes, I’ll be participating.”

He smirks, “Good.”

He begins to walk off, but not before giving one last line of pride.

“Don’t disappoint me, Assan. I’ll be looking forward to our next meeting at the competition.” He walks out of the range like he hadn’t just put a large expectation on my shoulders.

I groan and decide to pack up my bow. It’s not like I’ll be able to focus now anyway. For being a jerk, he gave some pretty smart advice, all things considered. I put my bow in my locker and grab my stuff, slinging my bag over my shoulder, and walk out of the building. 

I pull out my phone and see Rowan has messaged me a couple of times about him and that girl’s date. Apparently, it went great. I sent back some generic positive messages before turning my phone off. I’ve got bigger things to worry about.

The next few days go partway decent. Rowan hasn’t given me any headaches, Alias keeps to himself, and my training has been productive. Even if I feel a pit in my stomach when it’s mentioned, I feel more confident about it now. Honestly, I’m looking forward to it, to prove myself.

But, like any other time when life goes well, something happens. My bow breaks. The top portion of the bow snapped when I pulled it back like I normally did. I knew the thing was old, but did it really have to break the day before the competition? I have it sent to the shop; thankfully, since I’ve been going to this range for so long, they offer to do it for free.

They gave me a measly replacement bow for the meantime; this could not have been worse timing. I train with the bow, but it’s far more difficult than it should be. It’s too light, it doesn’t bend like it should, and it feels flimsy. There goes my only chance of proving myself. The highest I get is a 9 on the target, and that was pure luck at best. That night, I just sit and accept my impending defeat.

How am I supposed to win a competition that my only chance of winning has been sabotaged? I know I should have more resolve, but I can’t just gaslight myself into thinking I’ll win. I suppose Alias should’ve had a little less faith…

The morning of the competition rolls around, a Saturday morning that I’d normally spend sleeping. Instead, I’m standing off to the side, watching the competition go by while I wait for my turn. The lighting is bright, and it’s hot inside the range. This is going to go terribly.

Suddenly, the announcer calls over the intercom, “Ladies and gentlemen! Our next contestant is a long-time winner who comes from Fern High School…Alias Brigenton!” The audience erupts into applause as he walks into the range. He smirks and waves to the crowd, looking all around at the audience till he spots me. He locks eyes with me and mouths the words “Watch this.”

I feel a stab of anxiety as I observe him getting ready to fire. His technique is flawless, with not a single point of weakness. He shoots the target, hitting the bullseye with ease. He proceeds to shoot the other targets with bullseyes, earning the highest possible score of 50. He undeniably has the skill and the determination to back up his ego. I may not be able to win, but I might be able to tie. 

After he gets his final score tallied, he walks off the range and back into the waiting area for contestants. Not without shooting me a final look of pride. Never have I ever wanted to punch a smirk off of someone’s face before until now. I sigh, mentally preparing again.

“And now, for our final contestant… Assan Hildegade!” I practically feel my stomach drop to my feet. I take a deep breath to steel my nerves and rush to the waiting area to grab my bow and head onto the range. I do that walk of shame most people do when giving a presentation, but then I raise my head and walk with a little more dignity. 

There is no applause for me like there was for Alias, just pitiful attempts at recognition from the crowd. I look around, and targets are positioned at different distances and heights. The lights are far too bright, honestly. Do they even think about the contestants? Or are we just a display item? Never mind that.

I look around the audience, and seeing Rowan cheering for me brings some calm to my nerves. I catch eyes with Alias again, and he nods at me. I sigh, here goes nothing.

I bring the bow up and pull back the drawstring like I’d done a thousand times before. The bow feels unfamiliar in my hands, and it only worsens my confidence. I aim at the first target, a thousand worries running through my mind at once. I try to silence them for the time being and fire the arrow. It weaves through the air like a hot knife through butter, better than I could have ever expected. 

It hits the bullseye, surprisingly. I suppress a grin; maybe the odds aren’t entirely out of my favor. The next three targets go smoothly despite the increased difficulty. But it’s now the final target, the most difficult one. It’s stationed the furthest away, is angled at an inopportune position, and the wind is blowing in the opposite direction. With the stakes given, the circumstances occurring, and my overall abilities, I feel those thoughts creep back in.

What if I don’t make this shot? Would he still have faith in me? What if I fail? Would I humiliate myself? What if I show how worthless I am? Would it-

“Don’t disappoint me, Assan. I’ll be looking forward to our next meeting at the competition.” his words flood back to my head. Right. No time for worrying. I didn’t put in all of this hard work for nothing. After all, I have to prove myself at one point, and I’m not letting this opportunity slide.

I pull the drawstring back, aiming carefully with the wind direction. I take a deep breath and fire, watching the arrow never waver once in its travel. It hits the bullseye dead center, not a single way to misconceive its position. The crowd is silent for a moment, a long, painful moment, but suddenly the audience roars with cheers and applause. I look around to see Rowan cheering louder than most, but then I also see Alias applauding with a proud look.

I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. I smile ear to ear uncontrollably, laughing in relief more than humor. I walk back into the waiting area for archers, giving myself some time away from the crowd.

Since Alias and I tied our score, we both got to take home a gold medal. First time I’ve ever gotten one. After the competition, I was met with praise and a very proud Rowan, who goes on about how he secretly knew this would happen, even though he probably didn’t. I decide to head to the place outside behind the range after the whole ordeal. It’s a bench with a tiny pond that no one seems to go to.

I sit on the bench and lean back with an exhausted sigh, thinking back to the previous week. Meeting Alias, my training, my bow breaking, the competition, everything. I feel a grin tug at my lips at it all. Who knew all of that would come to this? My peaceful moment of reminiscing is quickly interrupted, though, as a voice I’ve come to know all too well returns.

“Well, isn’t this an interesting place to relax? I must say, this would not be my first pick.” Alias, who walks over and sits next to me, says in a much calmer tone compared to his normal arrogance.

I shrug, “Yeah, but at least it’s quiet. That’s all I ask for.”

He snickers, “How simple-minded of you.”

I scoff and roll my eyes, “It’s not simple-minded, it’s logical after whatever that loud competition was.”

“Sure, sure, now, I’ve come to congratulate you. It isn’t every day that someone ties me, in a competition no less. You did well out there.” The words are oddly sincere coming from someone like him. I feel a smile creep onto my face. 

“Who knew the pride of Ferns High School was so sentimental after all? I feel honored,” I joke with him, causing his reaction of sputtering before scoffing.

“Don’t get too cocky, brat.” His attempt to regain his composure is quite entertaining.

I shake my head, “Anyway, thanks for that. It was really you who was a driving factor for me to even participate. I guess I owe it to ya after all.”

He grins, “Now who’s getting sentimental?”

“Shut up!”

We end up laughing it off and giving a fist bump. I guess this could be the start of something new, a friendship you could call it. Who knew that this is where one measly competition could lead me? I guess, in the end of it all, through hardships and condescending comments, hard work never fails you.

Light on a Dying Flower

By P.W.

Her, the love of his life, Fiona, a police officer has been in the police force since she was 20, going on 28. In love with the idea of arresting the bad people and helping the good people ever since she was a child, but her boyfriend,  Arden, is a hidden serial killer, someone you wouldn’t suspect, from a man who helps the elderly and helps with Fiona’s children. Will she find out about his murderous ways or will the man she’s deeply in love with not get caught, and live with her? Until death do us part is a big saying with big meaning, will that meaning still be true, or will they part ways. Permanently. It’s the Thirteenth of August in 2011, the temperatures are hot but not horribly overwhelming. 

Salem was a big tourist attraction especially for the movie Hocus Pocus. Tourists flew in from everywhere. For Fiona it was a struggle, trying to get to an emergency with crowded crosswalks was a challenge, especially for urgent situations. Over the (almost) eight years she’s been working, she’s found a back road that gets her to different areas in town,  and it avoids the tourists. It’s a win for everyone. On the day of August 11 at 6:23 p.m she comes home to a horrid stench. She makes it inside, her little girl, Lillithan greets her eagerly.

“Mama! Mama! I’ve missed you so much! Ardy made me Cheese pasta!”

Fiona smiles happily,”Does he make it as good as I do?” She pulls Lillithan into a warm hug, picking her up and resting her on her hip. Fiona then walks over to Arden, kissing him on the lips smiling.

“How was Little Lilli today?”

“She wasn’t a problem at all, I don’t know why you don’t trust me.” Arden says smiling at her, Fiona knows he loves her,  but something lies beneath that mask. She just can’t figure out what she wants to figure out, she’s wanted to for the past two years they’ve dated.

“Im going to put this silly girl to bed, then I’ll come back out.” She leans over and kisses him one last time before leaving and putting Lillithan to bed. Once she comes back out she talks to Arden.

“Hey, I think an animal crawled under the house and died, if you could look into that, I would love that.”

“Of course honey, I will tomorrow.” He kisses her on the forehead and grabs his stuff.

“Bye , Sweetie. I’ll see what’s up tomorrow”

He leaves, Fiona is still extremely on edge Why was there a stench, it didn’t smell like a dying, or rotting animal, but could she be wrong? No. She shakes it off and heads to bed. The next morning she wakes up at 5:00, it’s a Friday so she has the day off, she tries to go back to bed, but she can’t, it’s like something is pulling her away from sleeping. She feels a presence behind her, but she’s lying down, how she could Feel something behind her. Fiona gets up and makes herself some coffee, careful not to wake up Lilli. As the coffee brews the sounds are not loud, but also not exactly quiet. The coffee finishes brewing and she puts in her “essentials”.

  • 1 spoonful of sugar
  • 1 whole cup of coffee creamer
  • A splash of milk

As Fiona makes her coffee, she’s pleased with herself, when all of a sudden she hears small footsteps from behind her, she turns around to see Lilli running at her scared, almost petrified. Of course, it’s one of her small night terrors and it’s easy to calm her down. This time though, it was different. 

“Lilli? What’s wrong?” Fiona says, setting down her coffee and picking up the crying five year old in front of her,

 Lilli clings to her shirt crying relentlessly, clearly not calming down any time soon. “Hes in my room! I told him to leave but he won’t! He won’t leave! He’s not listening to me!”

Fiona freezes, she knew that feeling wasn’t just her. She knew something was coming, she just couldn’t place that feeling until right now.

“ Ok baby, I’m going to set you down so I can take a look at the monster, ok?”

Lilli nods, her tiny hands coming up to wipe her tears and her cute little lip sticking out, making her look adorable even while frightened. Fiona puts Lilli down and grabs her pepper spray, just in case. As she makes her way to Lilli’s room, her footsteps are quiet, it makes it feel like the house is screaming, because of how quiet it is. As she steps in front of Lilli’s room she turns the doorknob slowly. The door creaks as it opens. She turns the light on and steps into the room quickly. Nothing. She checks under the bed, nothing. She opens the closet doors one after the other, first side nothing. Second side, something? 

There’s this big white trashbag, now stained a light pink, the stench is strong, but not overwhelming. She puts the pepper spray in her back pocket. She walks up to the bag and kneels in front of it. The tie sucks, so it’s easy to open. Once she opens it she finds different red splattered shirts, the red splatter looks like paint because of how thick it is. She digs through the bag, She reaches her hand in and cuts her finger on something sharp. She pulls her hand out and mutters a curse. Why would something sharp be in a bag of Lilli’s ruined shirts? She opens the bag more, slowly, more red paint comes into view. Her eyes widen, why didn’t I get rid–

“I’m here to look at your infestation!” Arden, he arrives, Fiona didn’t even hear the door open, or close.

“Ardy, Ardy”, Lilli says, her little feet on the floor. “There’s a monster in my room! mama ‘s lookin’ at it right now!” Ardy laughs and walks towards the room with Lilli, Fiona comes out holding her cut finger.

“Holy cow, Fiona. What happened, are you ok?” Fiona heads to the bathroom to wash her finger off, whilst talking to Arden.

“Lilli, she had a trashbag of paint stained clothes in her closet, I reached my hand in and something cut my finger.” Fiona runs her finger under the water stinging slightly, but thoroughly cleansing it.

“Jesus Fiona, I’ll go get started looking at that dang rodent that went under your porch.” He kisses her solemnly on the forehead. “Love you.” he says then leaves. Fiona grabs an antiseptic and sprays the liquid on to her fingers, disinfecting it. She then grabs a bandaid and lays it on her finger carefully, trying not to hurt herself more. Once she heads out of the bathroom she grabs the bag of stained clothes and takes it outside to the trash, as in doing so she sees Arden dragging a black trashbag to his truck, its sagging. There’s weight to it, almost like a carcass, or a cadaver, Fiona freezes momentarily.

“Hey Arden.” Fiona says, still frozen in place.

‘Yeah?” He says while dragging the trash bag to his truck.

“Can I see what rotten animal crawled under my porch?” Arden freezes clearly caught off guard by the question.

“W-why would you want to see? It’s probably rotten, and looks horrible.” He says, clearly scared of being caught, but what would he have to hide?

“Show me the animal. Now”

“No!” He throws the trashbag in the truck. “It’s been dealt with now, don’t ask about it.” He says angrily, frustration evident on his face. He storms past Fiona brushing past her shoulder. Fiona throws Lilli’s bag of trash into the trashcan then heads back inside to be greeted with Arden, stabbing Lilli with a knife right in her back. Fiona screams. Arden turns around. Her screams are too loud, but Arden says.

“This was  always coming. Eventually” 

Fiona tackles him reaching for her phone, She manages to tackle Arden pining him under her with practiced precision. She manages to call 911 and puts it on speaker, putting it far away from his reach.

“911, What your–”`

“Wideria street apartment eight, I have a murderer at my house, I’m Police Officer F. Smith.”

“Backups being sent your way now Mrs. Smith. I need you to stay on the line”

“I have him pinned”  “He’s struggling pretty roughly im not going to be able to hold him forever”

“The police are about a minute away, hold on for me Fiona.”

As Fiona holds down Arden, her daughter’s crying, and she hears the police sirens getting closer, and closer, and then the sirens arrive, doors shut footsteps on the grass. The door bursts open, medical calls are made. Her daughter gets rushed to the hospital, and Arden gets arrested. Fiona and her daughter come back home two weeks later, Arden missed all of Lili’s organs thankfully. Lilli now has a big scar and stitches on her back. She healed about three years later, the pain faded the memories not. Fiona was eternally grateful for the police and medical care they provided to her daughter. The police station and hospital both expressed their gratitude and awarded Fiona and Lilli each five thousand dollars. Lilli and Fiona are still scared to trust people to this day, after the day Lilli’s life was almost taken. Lilli is now twenty while her mother is now forty-eight and still in the police force helping people and busting the others.

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #40

#40

I Lost on Jeopardy

Title: “I Lost on Jeopardy”

Album: “Weird Al” Yankovic In 3D

Released: 1984

Parody: “Jeopardy” by the Greg Kihn Band

Written:  Al Yankovic / Steve Wright / Gregory Stanley Kihn

Genre: Pop-Rock/Comedy

Guest Vocal: Don Pardo

Lyrics

Oh…
I was there, to match my intellect, on national TV
Against a plumber, and an architect, both with a Ph.D
I was tense, I was nervous
I guess it just wasn’t my night
Art Fleming gave the answers
Oh, but I couldn’t get the questions right-ight-ight

I lost on Jeopardy
Baby
(Oooh)
I lost on Jeopardy
Baby
(Oooh)

Well I knew I was in trouble now
My hope of winning sank
‘Cause I got the Daily Double now
And then my mind went blank
I took Potpourri for one hundred
And then my head started to spin
Well, I’m givin’ up. Don Pardo
Just tell me now what I didn’t win
Yeah, yeah

I lost on Jeopardy
Baby
(Oooh)
I lost on Jeopardy
Baby
(Oooh)

That’s right Al–you lost! And let me tell what you didn’t win: a twenty
Volume set of the Encyclopedia International, a case of Turtle Wax, and a
Year’s supply of Rice-a-Roni, the San Francisco treat. But that’s not all!
You also made yourself look like a jerk in front of millions of people!
And you brought shame and disgrace on your family name for generations to come!
You don’t get to come back tomorrow! You don’t even get a lousy copy of your
Home game! You’re a complete loser!

Don’t know what I was thinkin’ of
I guess I just wasn’t too bright
Well, I sure hope I do better
Next weekend on The Price Is Right-ight-ight

I lost on Jeopardy
Baby
(Oooh)
I lost on Jeopardy
Baby
(Oooh)
I lost on Jeopardy
Baby…

Source: Musixmatch

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #41

#41

My Balogna

Title: “My Bologna”

Album: “Weird Al” Yankovic

Released: 1979

Parody: “My Sharona” by the Knack

Written: Berton Averre / Douglas Lars Fieger/Al Yankovic

Genre: Rock/Comedy

Topic: Bologna- satiring Oscar Meyer Bolognia of the 1970s fame.

Fact: Weird Al recorded this song in a bathroom at California Polytechnic State University. This became popular with the play on Dr. Demento’s show. The Knack helped get Weird Al his first record contract thanks to this song.

Lyrics

Ooh, my little hungry one, hungry one
Open up a package of my bologna
Ooh, I think the toast is done, the toast is done
Top it with a little of my bologna

Never gonna stop, eat it up
Such a tasty snack I always eat too much, then throw up
But I’ll soon be back for my, my, my, yi, yi, woo
M-m-m-my bologna

Spreadin’ on the mustard now, show me how
Spread it on a litle of this bologna
Hopin’ that we don’t run out, don’t run out
If we do I’m sure that I’ll miss bologna

Never gonna stop, eat it up
Such a tasty snack I always eat too much, then throw up
But I’ll soon be back for my, my, my, yi, yi, woo
M-m-m-my bologna
M-m-m-my bologna

Goin’ to the market now, market now
I’m the city’s biggest bologna buyer
Walkin’ down the shopping isles, shopping isles
Filling up my basket with Oscar Meyer

Never gonna stop, eat it up
Such a tasty snack I always eat too much, then throw up
But I’ll soon be back for my, my, my, yi, yi, woo
M-m-m-m-m-m-m-my, my, my, yi, yi, woo
M-m-m-my bologna
M-m-m-my bologna
M-m-m-my bologna
M-m-m-my bologna

Source: LyricFind

EYG Comic Cavalcade #203

May 18

Another week, another Monday.

I think part of the fact that I have been having trouble getting this out on the weekend is that I have so many books each week. I remember the days when I only picked up Marvel Comics. Now, I get all kinds of companies across the comic landscape.

The huge variety is awesome, but does take some time to read. School has just a couple of weeks total before I am out on summer vacation, so the timing of the EYG Comic Cavalcade should switch up soon.

Comic of the Week

The Olympus Saga: Megalith #1

I had several potential choices this week for Comic of the Week, but I decided to go with this new Bad Idea book called The Olympus Saga: Megalith #1.

It was a cool idea. A giant megalith appeared in the middle of the city, causing destruction and danger and a group of first responders and military people try to figure out what is going on before everything is lost. I did not see the ending of this issue coming. I was thinking that this felt very cinematic, which was a way I used to describe Survive (a book last year that I loved). This is a great start and one of my favorite reads of the week.

Books this week:

Amazing Spider-Man/Venom- Death Spiral: Body Count #1. Written by Charles Soule with art by Kev Walker. Cover art was done by CAFU I(Silver Medalist). This is the wrap up of the Death Spiral storyline as we get the origin of Torment. We also get what seemed to be a brand new Torment… eventually, at least.

The Spectacular Spider-Man: Brand New Day #1. “Key to the Kingdom” Written by Dan Slott with art by Marcus Tu. Marcos Martin & Muntsa Vicente did the Tell-Tale Pages art. Cover art was done by Phil Jimenez & Alex Sinclair. I also picked up the variable cover F by Patrick Gleason. We are back in the Brand New Day timeline for a new story with Spidey and Mister Negative.

Black Cat #10. “Big If True” Written by G. Willow WIlson with art by Gleb Melnikov. Cover art was done by Gleb Melnikov & Edgar Delgado. I also picked up the B cover by Peach Momoko (Gold Medalist). Black Cat and Jonah Jameson meet up in the Negative Zone. Yeah, that sounds weird, I know.

Showdown #1. “The Two Killers of Michael Sullivan.” Written by Dave Wielgosz and illustrated by Tadd Galusha. Cover art by Steve Lieber & Dillon Snook. Trish has returned to her hometown with a mission. She blamed Harvey for the death of her brother. So when she returned from college, she had planned on killing him. However, some things are in the way. This was an interesting new book by Ignition Press.

D’Orc #4. “Trust Your Gut” Written, drawn and cover art by Brett Bean. D’Orc continues to be a lot of fun every issue. In this one, we see D’Orc and his friends take on a three headed dog. I find this book to be extremely enjoyable and funny.

Wolverine #20. “The Savage Champions” Written by Saladin Ahmed and art by Martin Coccolo. Cover art was done by Dan Panosian. Wolverine wrapped up the Adamantine storyline with his massive battle with the creature. Wolverine still has not had his claws back yet on his one hand. I wonder if they are leading to this being his new status quo for the current Marvel Universe.

Something is Killing the Children #47. “All Her Monsters” Written by James Tynion IV and illustrated and cover art by Werther Dell’edera. We are back with Jessica and Cecilia Slaughter dealing with the after effects of the Valmont Mountain Lodge incident. It was nice to get this book back after a bit of a lay off.

Innards #1. “Chapter 1: As Below, So Within.” Written by Rob Guillory with art and cover art by Sam Lotfi. This new book by Ignition Press dealing with a future world, post-nuclear attack. They are looking to mine the only energy mineral remaining- Lucifium, and you can only reach it by teleportation. This was a fun new book. Ignition Press has been doing quality work lately too.

Barbara Gordon: Breakout #1. “What Am I Doing Here?” Written by Mariko Tamaki and art by Amancay Nahuelpan. Cover art was done by Karl Kerschl. I have been looking forward to this new book as Barbara Gordon is on her was to the Big House. This was a great first issue and I considered it as the Comic of the Week.

Geiger #23. Creators are Geoff Johns & Gary Frank. This was a heartbreaker of an issue as Geiger finds his family for just a few moments, only to get pulled away from them. It was so sad. It looks as if Geiger is finding himself in World War II with Junkyard Joe.

Conan & Dragonero #1. “The Shadow of the Dragon” Written by Stefano Vietti & Luca Enoch with art by Lorenzo Nuti. Cover art was done by Roberto De La Torre. This new series is fabulous. It looked like Conan is back to his time traveling ways. I really liked this book and seeing these two together.

Uncanny X-Men #28. “And It Shall Come to Pass.” Written by Gail Simone with art by Luciano Vecchio. Cover art was done by Luciano Vecchio & Edgar Delgado. The weird storyline continues with the fake New Mutants (?) and the reveal of the identity of Inmate X. I have loved Gail Simone’s run on this book and every month I look forward to it.

Captain America #11. “Doom’s Shadow” Part 6. Written by Chip Zdarsky with art by Valero Schiti. Cover art was done by Valerio Schiti & Romulo Fajardo Jr. I also picked up the Variant Cover C by Chip Zdarsky (Bronze Medalist). Red Hulk faces off with Cap on Latverian grounds and it sure does not seem to go well for Cap.

The Fury of Firestorm #2. “The Fury Part 2” Written by Jeff Lemire and art was done by Rafael De Latorre. Rafael De Latorre & Marcelo Maiolo did the cover art. I really enjoyed this issue too. The background story between Ronnie and Stein was welcomed and the mystery of what is happening with Firestorm is fascinating. This has been one of my favorite new DC books so far.

Hidden Springs #1. Written by Rob Williams and art and cover art by Nil Vendrell. A group of old people on a trip to the woods come across a crash from space… and a gigantic monster. This was a Monsterverse story crossed with LOST and the X-Files. I enjoyed this new Dark Horse book.

The Mortal Thor #10. “Come at the King” Written by Al Ewing with art by Pasqual Ferry. Cover art was done by Alex Ross. Sigurd Jarlson has had enough and he walked straight into the Roxxon building looking to put this to an end. He had to face the Grey Gargoyle… and took care of him. He walked right into the Minotaur. Great issue.

Transformers #32. Written by Robert Kirkman and art by Jason Howard. Cover art was done by David Nakayama. We go this issue back to Cybertron to watch the battle being led by our new Elita Prime. There are a bunch of new Decepticons involved in the war on Cybertron.

Absolute Batman #20. “The Straw Man” Written by Scott Snyder with art by Nick Dragotta. Cover art was done by Nick Dragotta and Frank Martin. I was able to pick up Variant Cover C by Fabrizio De Tommaso. We get the appearance by the Robins as they are preparing to take on Batman.

Department of Truth #37. Written by James Tynion IV with art by Ben Templesmith. Cover art was done by Martin Simmonds. Dinosaurs? True Believer Charity and her church believe that humans and dinosaurs existed at the same time, and they believe that dinosaurs may still exist. And look to Hunky to answer that question.

Iron Man #5. “Advanced Iron Man” Written by Joshua Williamson and art by Carmen Carnero with Jan Bazaldua. Cover art was done by Ryan Stegman & Frank Martin. Adam Ware killed the Fixer. Ware is with the AIM organization, right at the head.

Voyeur #5. Written by Leah Williams and illustrated by David Baldeón. Cover art was done by Victor Ibanez. Voyeur #5 was a lot of fun and a lot of nudity. I thought this was considerably better than it should have been. This was the final issue of this short series and I am sad to see it go. This issue also has one of the more fun covers of the week.

Bleeding Hearts #4. Written by Deniz Camp and art and cover art by Stipan Morian. Have you ever seen a zombie having a tea party? Not only at a tea party, but having a damn great time? It sure seems that Poke is struggling with his own mind and his own perspective on who or what he is. But hey, who wouldn’t love Rabbit? One of the more original zombie stories you are going to read.

Tyler Rake: An Extraction Story #2. Written by Ande Parks and illustrated by Ronan Cliquet. Cover art was done by Declan Shalvey. The second issue of this Tyler Rake series from Ignition Press is great. This has been a surprisingly solid book so far as we get some action from Tyler Rake.

Other Books This Week: The Thing on the Doorstep #4, Hello Darkness #21, Blood & Thunder #13, Absolute Martian Manhunter #11, Ghost Pepper #11, Archie’s Movie Mania #1, Arcadia #5, Malevolent #4, and Terrorbytes #6.

Quick Hits: Tigress Island #3 came out this week. Things are getting real serious for these girls. The relationship between Illyana and Colossus are on display through this new Magik and Colossus #4, the penultimate issue of this series. W0rldtr33 #20 continues to be one of the more in-depth stories dealing with technology you will find. Doctor Strange is able to return to earth from Asgard in Doctor Strange #6, but it is temporary. I love how Clea and Wanda, who are guest starring, do not remember Thor, but Stephen does since he was in Asgard at the time. Clea believes Stephen is lying about the “Norse myth” stuff. LOL. Space Ghost #11 is the penultimate issue of season two. Things have been tough for Space Ghost. War Wolf #5 sees Thomas Bruin in some real trouble, but, again, we are not sure what the truth about what happened actually was. Ultimate Endgame #4 saw the death of another of our favorites as Captain Britain chopped off the head of Captain America. Dead By Daylight #2 could use some more hillbilly. Archie x The Army of Darkness #4 sees Archie and Ash trying to stop the Deadites. Joe Palmer’s Destination Kill #1 was a new #1 from Oni Press. I was not a big fan of this issue. Finally, Just Brutal #3 sees a real tragic event at the end of the book. It took a turn and the book may have taken a different path.

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #42

#42

Jurassic Park

Title: “Jurassic Park”

Written: Al Yankovic / Jimmy Webb

Album: Alapalooza

Release: 1993

Parody: “MacArthur’s Park” by Richard Harris

Topic: Jurassic park, the movie from Steven Spielberg

Fact: Al reached out to both Michael Crichton and Steven Spielberg for permission to parody the Jurassic Park film.

Weird Al has done many movie parodies in songs over the years including Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, Spider-Man and Rocky. Jurassic park joined that list with this lead track from Alapalooza.

I remember when this album came out. I was at Wal-Mart, looking at CDs when I spotted this new Weird Al album. I had no idea it was coming out and it was such an awesome surprise.

Lyrics

I recall the time they found those fossilized mosquitoes
And before long, they were cloning DNA
Now I’m being chased by some irate velociraptors
Well, believe me this has been one lousy day

Jurassic Park is frightening in the dark
All the dinosaurs are running wild
Someone shut the fence off in the rain
I admit it’s kinda eerie
But this proves my chaos theory
And I don’t think I’ll be coming back again, oh no!

I cannot approve of this attraction
‘Cause getting disemboweled always makes me kinda mad
A huge tyrannosaurus ate our lawyer
Well, I suppose that proves they’re really not all bad

Jurassic Park is frightening in the dark
All the dinosaurs are running wild
Someone let T- Rex out of his pen
I’m afraid those things’ll harm me
‘Cause they sure don’t act like Barney
And they think that I’m their dinner, not their friend, oh no!

Jurassic Park is frightening in the dark
All the dinosaurs are running wild
What a crummy weekend this has been
Well, this sure ain’t no e-ticket
Think I’ll tell them where to stick it
‘Cause I’m never coming back this way again, oh no, oh no!

Source: Musixmatch

Agents of Shield S4 E13, E14, E15

Spoilers

“BOOM”

“The Man Behind the Shield”

“Self Control”

In season four, Agents of Shield was divided into three separate story arcs. The first arc was the “ghost Rider” arc, which incorporated the first 8 episodes. The next 7, which included these final three episodes, were under the “LMD” arc.

This arc was not my most favorite of the Agents of Shield show. Still, it was quite an enjoyable three episodes to end off this storyline and it lead perfectly into the next arc “Agents of Hydra”, which sees the Agents of Shield living their lives in the Framework, an AI-type world where their minds are inside this fake world.

The final of this arc was extremely suspenseful, especially as Simmons discovered that Fitz had also been replaced with an LMD. Not only Fitz, but Coulson, Mace and Mack were already LMDs and in the Framework. Watching Simmons stab LMD Fitz was so rough. Iain De Caestecker was great in this scene.

The scenes with Daisy and Simmons was very tense as well. This highlighted the strength of Elizabeth Henstridge as a performer.

Quake continues to be such a kick ass character. She is so great that you have to keep putting her in jeopardy to try and give some stakes for her.

Ada is becoming a sinister enemy who is programmed to protect the Framework. She killed Radcliffe and put his mind into the Framework, believing she could protect both the Framework and Radcliffe that way. Perfect thoughts from an android.

The Framework story goes into full gear next episode.

Sunday Morning Sidewalk #69

Spoilers

Hulk Hogan: Real American

“The Rise”

This week, I start the next Sunday Morning Sidewalk show on Netflix, the documentary featuring the professional wrestler Hulk Hogan.

Hulk Hogan: Real American started off with images from Hulk Hogan’s funeral. Imagine working on your documentary, with plenty of access to Hulk Hogan himself, and have the subject die. It certainly gives the documentary series a beginning and an end.

The first episode was about the rise of Hulk Hogan, from a kid growing up in Tampa, Florida to the arrival of the biggest star the industry of Pro Wrestling ever saw.

There were plenty of interviews during the doc from not only Terry Bollea (Hulk Hogan’s real name), but also people he met and dealt with during the time such as Jerry Lawler, Bret Hart, Jimmy Hart, Brian Blair, and even Jesse Ventura.

The thing is that there was not much negative mentioned. They did not hear the negatives that you usually hear from Hart or Ventura about Hogan. They talked about him being green in the ring, which he clearly was. They mentioned Verna Gagne, but had no video of his opinion of Hogan.

The only negative was the time Vince McMahon Sr. fired Hogan for going to shoot Rocky III. The rest of this episode was basically the typical story of a wrestler making his way through the Indies to make it big.

They did make some references to some controversies surrounding Hogan, so I am interested to see exactly how they deal with the second part of his life. The early days are easy to show him as a “superhero” as his persona, but later on, things got tougher. Will they just touch on this or will this be a major aspect of the doc? I have my suspicions.

This was an intriguing start, but I want to see more in depth from this doc over the next three weeks.

Daily Countdown: Weird Al Songs #43

#43

Ode to a Superhero

Title: “Ode to a Superhero”

Album: Poodle Rock

Released: 2003

Parody: “Piano Man” by Billy Joel

Written: Billy Joel/Al Yankovic

Topic: Spider-Man movie

Genre: Classic Rock

Two in a row from Poodle Hat after not having a song for the whole run up until yesterday.

Lyrics

Peter Parker was pitiful
Couldn’t have been any shyer
Mary Jane still wouldn’t notice him
Even if his hair was on fire

But then one day he went to that science lab
That mutated spider came down
Oh, and now Peter crawls over everyone’s walls
And he’s swingin’ all over town

La li la, li de da
La la, li le la da dumb

Sling us a web, you’re the Spider-Man
Sling us a web tonight
‘Cause we’re all in the mood for a hero now
And there’s evil doers to fight

Now Harry the rich kid’s a friend of his
Who horns in on Mary Jane
But to his great surprise it seems she prefers guys
Who can kiss upside down in the rain

“With great power comes great responsibility”
That’s the catch phrase of old Uncle Ben
If you missed it, don’t worry, they’ll say the line
Again and again and again

Oh, la la la, di de da
La la, di di da da dom

Now Norman’s a billionare scientist
Who never had time for his son
But then something went screw and before you knew he
Was trying to kill everyone

And he’s ridin’ around on that glider thing
And he’s throwin’ that weird pumpkin bomb
Yes, he’s wearin’ that dumb Power Rangers mask
But he’s scarier without it on

Sling us a web, you’re the Spider-Man
Sling us a web tonight
‘Cause you’re brave and you’re strong and so limber now
But where’d you come up with those tights?

It’s a pretty sad day at the funeral
Norman Osborn has bitten the dust
And I heard Harry’s said he wants Spider-Man dead
Aw, but his buddy Pete he can trust

Oh, and M.J. is all hot for Peter now
Aw, but Peter, he just shuts her down
Mary Jane, don’t you cry, you can give it a try
Again when the sequal comes ’round

Oh, la la la, di de da
La la, di di da da dumb

Sling us a web, you’re the Spider-Man
Sling us a web tonight
‘Cause we all sure could use us a hero now
And we think that you’ll do all right

Source: LyricFind

Remarkably Bright Creatures

It has been a good couple of weeks for talking animal movies.

Last week, I was absolutely taken with Sheep Detectives and this week, I was able to watch the Netflix film starring Sally Field and Louis Pullman called Remarkably Bright Creatures. This featured an octopus, voiced by Alfred Molina (who coincidentally played Doctor Octopus in Spider-Man 2 and No Way Home) as the narrator.

According to IMDB, “Through unlikely bonds formed during night shifts at a local aquarium, Tova, an elderly widow, learns of a life-changing discovery that may bring her joy and wonder once again.

Sally Field really came to work in this movie. Her portrayal as Tova was just so sweet and touching, but more than just that. She had a real emotional arc for her character and a tragic backstory that was impactful as could be. I was really impressed with her work in this movie.

I did not recognize Louis Pullman at first, but about midway through the movie, I thought to myself… “Hey, that’s Sentry… Bob.” He, as well, was fabulous, giving a depth to a performance with a character that could have been one note, but turned out to be extremely developed.

I also loved seeing Kathy Baker back on my screen. Kathy Baker was one of the stars of Picket Fences, a show that I loved, and it was just a nice surprise seeing her in this.

Alfred Molina’s narration was kind of odd, but it did provide some important relevant details as the movie progressed. Plus, there were some emotionally powerful moments with Marcellus, the name of the octopus that Molina was voicing. It took a little bit of time for me to get used to the idea, but by the end of the movie, this was an important role.

I enjoyed this story. Even though it did feel a bit scattered early on, it came together beautifully. I did enjoy the presence of Colm Meaney as Ethan. His character may have felt kind of unnecessary, but the film took time to actually give him a personality.

This was a lovely film with some solid characters and some excellent performances. It is available for streaming on Netflix and it is a worthwhile time.

4.5 stars