Tag Archives: horror

EYG Comic Cavalcade #198

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April 12

It is EYG Comic Cavalcade time. It was another fun week. I got some deliveries from Midtown Comics this week too, including some Daredevil #1 blind bags and some variants.

Comic of the Week

The Fury of Firestorm #1

Firestorm has always been one of my favorite DC characters. I enjoyed the original appearances of Robbie Raymond and Martin Stein, combined into one being with amazing nuclear powers. It was exciting to hear that Firestorm would be back in his own limited series. Then, the first issue was excellent with a mystery behind what is going on. Good stuff.

Books this week:

Amazing Spider-Man #26. Written by Joe Kelly with pencils by Francesco Manna & Ed McGuinness. Cover art was done by Ryan Stegman & Marte Gracia. I also picked up the Spider-Gwen variant cover by David Nakayama. Death Spiral Part 7 is picking up the pace as the Carnage/Torment team-up gets even more dangerous as they are looking for a spiral for Spider-Man.

Neighborhood Watch #1. Written by Sarah Gailey and illustrated and cover art by Haining (Silver Medalist). The new book from Boom! Studios deals with a couple of neighboring towns: Willow Haven and Open Arms, and its neighborhood watch program. There is a murder that happens too.

Uncanny X-Men #26. “Careful What You Wish For” Written by Gail Simone and art by Luciano Vecchio. Cover art was done by David Marquez and Matthew Wilson. The kids of the Haven House are being grabbed and their histories are suddenly strange. And … the New Mutants? What is going on here?

Uncanny X-Men Annual #1. “The Rise of the Regulators” Written by Gail Simone & Mikki Kendall with art by Francesco Mortarino with Elisabetta D’Amico. Cover art was done by David Marquez & Matthew Wilson. This story was a great bit with the history of Haven House. That history is known as the Regulators and they have a tie to pre-adamantium Wolverine. I love when the history of the area folds in with the mutants.

D’Orc #3. “A Bit Light-Headed” Written, drawn and cover art by Brett Bean. D’Orc faced off with a powerful dwarf with a big hammer. I have truly been enjoying D’Orc. The humor of the book has been great and D’Orc and his crew are deep in action too. Solid book.

The Muppets Noir #2. Written, drawn and cover art by Roger Langridge. Kermit is still unconscious and the rest of the Muppets were trying to decide what to do about the show. Meanwhile, the detective Flip Minnow continued to try and solve the case and find Meringue Crustworth. The noir world introduced us to Staler & Waldorf, the Swedish Chef and Sweetums. Lots of Muppet fun.

Mad About DC #1. Cover art was done by Dan Panosian. Guest editor (for some reason) was Chip Zdarsky. I also picked up the foil issue of the same cover by Dan Panosian. This was one of the books I got from Midtown this week. It was a fun version of Mad Magazine focusing on the characters of DC. Tons of satire and humor.

Baby Garfield #1. “Baby Garfield’s First Word” and “Baby Garfield’s First Hairball” Written by Grace Ellis (1st) and Michael Northrop (2nd). Art for the two stories was done by Asia Simone and Rob Justus respectfully. This was another book I got from Midtown Comics. I was not the biggest fan of Garfield, but I considered picking this up on the shelf. When I did not get it, I got it and I liked it. I was surprised how much I actually enjoyed this book.

Everyone Loves a Jewel Thief #1. Written by Aaron Campbell & Tim Seeley with art and cover art by Aaron Campbell. Ignition Press has been huge lately and has been very successful. We have yet another new book, this one compiling a team of jewel thieves.

Dead by Deadlight #1. Written by Derek Fridolfs with art by Dean Kotz. Cover art was done by Alex Horley. This is a survival online game adapted into the comic form by Titan Comics. There are some horrific imagery in this book and it is a compelling start. The killer is definitely scary and I am curious to see how this book progresses.

Cosplayer Versus Shark #1. “Part One: Up from the Depths” and “Part Two: It’s Always Shark Week!” Written by Pat Jankiewicz and art by Shaun “Spanky” Piela. This was a wild and weird one shot that reminded me of a Carl Hiaasen novel, specifically Chomp. This is a lot of fun.

Pretty Hate Machine #1. Written by Ryan O’Han & Tim Seeley with art by Paolo Armitano. Cover art was done by Todor Hristov. Another new horror series, this one based upon the album from Nine Inch Nails. The new Mad Cave book was very entertaining and the imagery was scary.

Something is Killing the Children #46. “All Her Monsters” Part Six. Written by James Tynion IV and illustrated and cover art by Werther Dell’Edera. It has been quite a few months since we have seen Erica Slaughter. It was great having Something is Killing the Children back on the reading list. It is consistently one of the best books available when it is out.

Estuary: A Ghost Story #1. Written by David “DB” Andy & Tim Daniel and illustrated and cover art by Maan House. What is better than combining nun horror with aquatic horror… plus a ghost story of a shipwrecked Spanish vessel. Another new series from Oni Press.

Iron Man #4. “No Escape” Written by Joshua Williamson and art by Carmen Carnero with Jan Bazaldua. Cover art was done by Ryan Stegman & Frank Martin. Tony Stark is trying to find the winner of the Tony Stark Award, who has been grabbed by AIM. However, he comes across a different type of AIM… Advanced Iron Man.

Wolverine #18. “Clash of the Champions” Written by Saladin Ahmed with art by Martin Coccolo. Cover art was done by Dan Panosian (Bronze Medalist) . Wolverine faces off against Hercules, controlled by The Adamantine. It is a bloody and brutal war between Logan and Herc. And this will bring Athena to the fray.

Black Cat #9. “String Theory” Written by G. Willow Wilson with art by Gleb Melnikov and Andres Genolet. Cover art was done by Adam Hughes. MJ and Black Cat find themselves in alternate universe, living all new lives. Are their new lives what they really want?

Mortal Thor #9. “Inevitable” Written by Al Ewing with art by Pasqual Ferry. Cover art was done by Alex Ross (Gold Medalist). Sigurd has to deal with a threat from the Radioactive Man. Sigurd is preparing to launch an assault on Roxxon.

Space Ghost #10. Written by David Pepose and art by Jonathan Lau. Cover art was done by Francesco Mattina. Space Ghost faced off with something than no one can defeat…time. Specifically, Tempus the Time-Master.

Web of Venom #1. Written by Jordan Morris and art by Luke Ross & Ramon Rosanas. Cover art was done by Stefano Casselli & Federico Blee. We got another book featuring a symbiote and a new Venom form. This time is is Boomerang, aka Fred Meyers. I’m not sure why we need to have yet another symbiote anti-hero running around. The story was fine, but I am not sure why it is needed.

Twilight Zone #6. “Growth” Written, art and cover art by Nicole Goux. A sad story about a girl with a plant that was alive… an actual baby.. and the hatred that people who are different face. This one turns out tragic, much like many of the Twilight Zone episodes.

Bleeding Hearts #3. Written by Deniz Camp and art and cover art by Stipan Morian. The Vertigo zombie book is back this week and the Zombie boy is showing signs of being more than just another in the hungry horde. What does that mean? Bleeding heart continues to be one of the more intriguing Vertigo books.

Other books this week: Murder Podcast #6, Defenders of the Earth: Dark Destiny #4, Blood & Thunder #12, Absolute Green Lantern #13, The Nice House by the Sea #9, and Alice: Forever After #3.

Quick Hits: Moonstar #2 was released this week as Danielle Moonstar is on the mission. I picked up two covers from Midtown Comics this past week. Both with the guest appearance of EYG Hall of Famer “Weird Al” Yankovic. The first one was World’s Finest #50 with Al and his accordion hanging out with Batman and Superman. The other was Bizarro: Year None #1 where Al is portrayed as the “Normal Al” Yankovic, with a briefcase. I love Weird Al so I knew I wanted to find these two covers for my collection. Hello Darkness #20 had a collection of fun horror short stories. My favorite of the stories was “The Thread” which was pretty gross in the end. Transformers #31 focused on Megatron taking the next step in his status, in a manner I would not have expected. One of my favorite books this week is one of the oddest team-ups I have ever seen. It is Godzilla’s Monsterpiece Theater Presents Romeo & Juliet and Godzilla #1. It is as wild as it sounds. Speaking of wild, the team up between Ash and Archie continues in Archie x The Army of Darkness #3 from Dynamite Comics. This one had a cool cover that nearly made the medal round. Sai: Dimensional Rivals #4 kept going into multiple worlds in search of the seventh stone. The idea of the different art in the different universes makes this book original. And finally, Speed Racer: Tales from the Road #1 which featured the winners of the Mad Cave Studios talent search.

Thrash

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I swear I saw this movie, but it was with killer alligators instead of a pack of sharks.

That movie was called Crawl, and, to be fair, was much better than the new film called Thrash, which debuted on Netflix this weekend.

We will never be done with shark movies. There is something about sharks that make them horrifying, and the perfect killing machines, specifically on film.

There are fewer shark movies that are awesome than those that are garbage, but every once in awhile, there are some good ones made. Which category does Thrash fall into?

According to IMDB, “When a Category 5 hurricane decimates a coastal town, the storm surge brings devastation, chaos and something far more frightening: hungry sharks.“

Thrash has some decent moments, but there are some really dumb scenes that stretch plausibility to a level that just pulls you out of the film.

Phoebe Dynevor played Lisa, who gets stuck in her car as the flood came in. Lisa was pregnant. Whitney Peak played Dakota, a young lady who saved Lisa from her car. These two characters were placed in some ridiculous places in an attempt to survive. However, these two were more believable than the other main story.

Three kids, who were in a unloving foster home situation with a horrible couple, have to survive when the bull sharks make it into their house. The kids are played by Stacy Clausen, Alyla Brown and Dante Ubaldi. They were fine, but some of the situations that they were placed in were out there.

There were some questions I had about time as the darkness came and went very quickly.

Having said that, Thrash was not the worst shark movie that I have seen. I would consider it somewhere in the mid area of shark movies. Certainly it is no Jaws, but it is much better than stuff like 47 Meters Down or Into the Deep. I compared it to Crawl earlier in this review, but that movie was so much better.

I think Thrash would be a passable movie to watch on Netflix if you do not have much else to do. I would not say it does not completely suck, but that is hardly high praise.

2.75 stars

Pizza Movie

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Easter Stream Binge #4

One of the types of movies that I typically do not hate are the stoner movies. Especially those that include a lot of bullying and stupid humor.

As I started to watch Disney +’s movie, Pizza Movie, after the first ten minutes, everything that I hate about those movies were dropped. I was hating this movie with all of my heart. I considered just stopping the movie. I did not know why I should continue this movie when it was making me feel this way. It’s not as if I paid money at the theater to see it.

Then something really weird happened.

The movie won me over.

I am not sure what happened, but the complete ridiculousness of the movie grabbed ahold of me and suddenly I found myself enjoying the stupidity, laughing at the antics of the three main leads.

Gaten Matarazzo and Sean Giambrone played Jack and Montgomery, roommates at college who were anything but the alphas. Matarazzo and Giambrone had a lot of chemistry with each other and their comedic timing was perfectly executed. Bullied and beat up, Jack and Montgomery wound up taking some experimental drugs they found in their dorm room that led them to going through multiple stages.

It was when they started in on these stages that the movie changed for me. Everything became so surreal and so weird that it was difficult to continue to see it as just another bad behavior/stoner movie. It took these two and made them way more interesting than they ever had a right to be.

I am not sure that I have had such a monumental shift in my opinions of a movie, especially from hating it as much as I did in the first ten-fifteen minutes to being entertained by the silliness of it.

3.75 stars

An Elegy for the Clown

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My 8th grade classes just read Walt Whitman’s “Oh Captain, My Captain.” I love that poem as it used an extended metaphor to talk about Abraham Lincoln and his death after the Civil War ended.

So I assigned my students a poem to write. They were to write an elegy, which, according to the Oxford Dictionary, is a poem of serious reflection, typically a lament for the dead.

I decdied that I wanted to write a poem too. I chose Robin Williams because how impactful he was to my life. I remember where I was when I heard the news… I was at a movie theater watching a live premiere of the movie “The Giver.” The news hit like a sledgehammer to my gut.

I wrote this poem I titled “An Elegy for the Clown” and I really love how it came out. I wanted to share it here.

An Elegy for the Clown

It was as if it happened yesterday.

Awaiting the curtain to be drawn

An atmosphere of electricity crackled away

Signaling the debut of a new dawn.

……….. A sudden cry came from far and wide

……….. Divulging that our clown had died

*

The circus was overwhelmed by the rain

Pounding upon the souls of the grieving

A painted-on smile obscured his pain

The facade of facepaint deceiving.

…………The fans beneath the big-top cried

…………Discovering that our clown had died

*

The clown was a master of his craft

Perfromances unlike but a few

We laughed, we laughed, we laughed, we laughed

Every act, every joke wholeheartedly through.

……………The tears of his peers flowed as they tried

……………To understand why our clown had died.

*

Time after time, our clown changed his face

To therapist, nanny, DJ, or genie.

Make-up morphed him into each role he’d embrace

Magically even more than Harry Houdini.

…………….. Each role a bandage; make-up applied.

……………..Leading to the reason why our clown died

*

They say pain and loss subsides over time

Good days, laughter, memories of him.

His acting, his improv and even his mime,

Can push aside feelings of sadness or grim.

………..To clowns, young and old, an inspiration bona fide.

………..Artistry abound after our clown had died.

Paradise S2 E7

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Spoilers

“The Final Countdown”

Sadly, this is the penultimate episode of season 2 of Paradise on Hulu. It has been so great that I don’t want to see it end. We get some major events occurring in episode 7.

Xavier & Teri are reunited and are on their way back to Colorado. Of course, first things first… they had to get Bean, who was being held by Gary the Mailman. Xavier wanted to just blow him away, but Teri had a more diplomatic path. She talked to Gary and dealt with the emotions he was revealing, and confronted him over the murder of Enos. Gary cried and accepted the fate, and never got his head blown off. Bonus for Gary.

Meanwhile, we were seeing how Sinatra was continually manipulating everyone. She meets with Link and they have a tense back and forth. However, Sinatra makes a shocking discovery… or at least a possible discovery… is Link her supposedly dead son Dylan? Could that be? Could this be the variable that brings Sinatra down?

The outside forces are preparing for their attack… maybe cause Link enjoyed that apple pie so much.

It sure seemed as if Gabriela stabbed Jane in a shower, and left her bleeding out and dead. Now, there is no confirmation that Jane is dead and she feels like that type of supervillain that you can’t just expect to be killed by a stab wound or two. You have got to finish her off when you have a chance. So while she could be gone now, I would not be surprised if she crawled her way out of that shower.

We got a flashback to see more of President Cal Bradford before his murder. It is always great to see James Marsden in Paradise, so every flashback with him is thoroughly welcome. Cal was inspecting everything with Sinatra and making like a prophet and calling that the bunker would go down one day. Surely this is meant as some foreshadowing for what is to come.

This finale should be full of surprises and action. Maybe we will finally find out who the mysterious “Alex” is, as Sinatra arrived at a location, put on a jacket, and greeted Alex. This was after Link had told her that he was after Alex. I have no idea who or what Alex is, but I can’t wait to find out.

Ready or Not 2: Here I Come

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The original Ready or Not from 2019 was a surprise smash hit featuring a star making turn from Samara Weaving. However, it did not feel like a film that required a sequel. Still, in Hollywood, a successful film, especially a new and original IP, will most likely lead to a new installment. So we get Ready or Not 2: Here I Come.

Ignoring the stupid use of the number 2 in the title (it should only be Ready or Not: Here I Come), this new sequel is a solid continuation on a story which both built on the first film and provided new ground for the sequel.

According to IMDB, “After surviving one deadly game, Grace and her sister Faith must now outrun four rival families competing for a powerful throne – winner takes all.”

The sequel is every bit as gruesome and bloody as the original, with people exploding into pools of blood and sinew all over the place, usually when they are facing Grace and Faith, so the splatter does not miss them.

This film added some star power to the hunters chasing Grace and Faith, including Buffy herself, Sarah Michelle Gellar. The Pitt’s Jack Abbot, Shawn Hatosy is here as Gellar’s character’s brother. Elijah Wood played the lawyer behind the competition for the seat on the council that the hunters were competing for. LOST’s Richard, Nestor Carbonell, is another of the hunters, who turns out to be a piss-poor shot.

Once again, this is a group of Satan worshipers, so if that is something that you do not like in your movies, this one is built around it even more than the original. It can be jarring hearing Elijah Wood say “Hail Satan” several times. Of course, Satan worshipers make for excellent villains.

There is a lot of comedy in the gorefest too, and much of it worked. There were some ridiculous characters among the hunters’ families there for support and backup during the game.

The relationship between Grace and Faith had to work for this film to work, and I will say that it was shaky at times. I only heard about their estrangement, not being shown it, but they did win me over as the film went along. Both Weaving and Kathryn Newton do a great job with their performances, though there are a couple of times in the film that made me feel a little icky about what was going on.

Grace takes a real beating in this film and, like so many other action heroes, she shrugs wounds off as she goes. There needs to be some suspension of disbelief that Grace (and also Faith, to a lesser extent) can keep going despite all the stuff that has happened to her (them). Of course, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis, and other action heroes who are men would push on too, so why couldn’t Samara Weaving?

It is a strong follow up to the original. I do not think it is as good as the first one, but it does not fall into the garbage as many sequels do. Ready or Not 2: Here I Come is a fun time at the theater for fans of horror and good action.

4.2 stars

Undertone

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I have seen some poor horror movies to kick off 2026. I was not a fan of Iron Lung. I did not like the new Dracula film. Scream 7 was a real disappointment. The Bride was a big swing that did not work, and Psycho Killer is currently the worst film of the year.

So I went into the new horror film, Undertone, which was the big screen debut of director Ian Tuason. I had found the trailer intriguing and knowing it is a new A24 film, I went into the film with hopes that this would break the rotten horror streak.

According to IMDB, “The host of a popular paranormal podcast becomes haunted by terrifying recordings mysteriously sent her way.“

Lead actress Nina Kiri carries the heft of this film on her shoulders as she does a tremendous job in the role as this podcaster who is the skeptic on her podcast about the supernatural topics they cover. Her co-host, who we never see on screen, is voiced by Adam DiMarco, and he has a really strong voice over performance.

The film is a perfect example of the use of sound in the horror genre. Called Audio Horror, the sound design is so tense and anxious that it really affects the audience. The use of the sounds, the silence, the way the sounds change when Nina Kiri puts on her headphones… all of it is sensational and creates a theater experience unlike many.

The camera work in the film is also strong. There are some shots that are specifically designed to make the audience expect that a scare is coming, but many times, the idea that there is something in the dark is only suggested, allowing the audience to provide their own scares. The film does have some jump scares, but they are kept to a minimum and are effective when they appear.

I am not sure that I found the ending overly satisfying, but it was certainly intense and worked as a way to end a film that matched that intensity level.

This is definitely a film that broke that run of terrible horror movies. It is a slow burn, but it moves fairly quickly over the run time of the film. It was a suspenseful theater experience and I would recommend people see this. Not only because it is a good movie, but for the fact that the budget on this film was only like $500,000, which is ridiculously low and there should be more films succeed that take a chance at keeping the budget down.

4 stars

The Bride!

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This one is like Bonnie & Clyde was made in the Universal Monsters franchise while being set in Gotham City.

The Bride! is the new film directed by Maggie Gyllenhaal that take a new look at the classic story of The Bride of Frankenstein.

This film is one that left me unsure of how I felt. There were certainly good things that I really liked about The Bride! but there were many other things that just did not work for me at all.

According to IMDB, “In 1930s Chicago, Frankenstein asks Dr. Euphronius to help create a companion. They give life to a murdered woman as the Bride, sparking romance, police interest, and radical social change.”

The standout aspect of this film is 100% the acting from our two lead performers. Jessie Buckley, who is up for an Academy Award in just about a week and a half for her role in Hamnet, is absolutely amazing as the Bride. Buckley’s performance jumps off the screen with her facial features and her confusion. Buckley also played Mary Shelley, who was a framing device for the story, and it seemed as if Mary Shelley was possessing the Bride (also called Ida or Penny). Buckley would switch from her normal voice to the British accent of Shelley. It was confusing at times.

Christian Bale was also great as Frankenstein. He would go by the name Frank and he played this character lonely and desperate. Bale and Buckley have an amazing chemistry and they are the reason to see this movie. I loved the performance of Annette Bening as Dr. Euphronius.

However, there are so many weird things going on in this movie that pulled me out. The tone of this film was all over the place. At times, it felt like I should be laughing, but others I felt horrified. It was not a smooth transition between tones. It was truly messy.

For example, there was a dance number in the film. I loved it and hated it at the same time. I loved the homage the dance routine was to, but it felt totally out of place in this film.

The film had several secondary storylines that could have (should have) been edited out completely. All the scenes with Penelope Cruz and Peter Sarsgaard, who played a couple of detectives chasing the Monsters, felt so unnecessary. Had those scenes been completely dropped, there would have been nothing really that would have to be changed.

The Bride! is a messy, wild and crazy film that has some great performances and some big swings. Some of this worked well for me while much of the rest of it did not work. Great performances in a film that is all over the place. There are some cool things in the film, but not enough to dismiss the weak points.

2.8 stars

Scream 7

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So I have been under the weather over the last few weeks, and I chose to stay at home this past Saturday. I had intended on going to the new Scream 7 film that came out, but I wanted to take the time to try and get better. Today, I was able to go to the film I missed last weekend.

I am going to say that I had heard a lot of negatives directed toward Scream 7 and so my expectations going into the theater today were rather low. I do think that it helped having such low expectations, because I did not hate watching this. Don’t get me wrong, it is a dumb movie and I would not recommend it. I just didn’t find it to be a horrible watch. It was certainly better than the Psycho Killer film from a few weeks ago. That is not saying much, though.

We are back with Sydney Prescott, now with the last name of Evans, and the film took every opportunity to comment on Scream 6 being the film (or the Ghostface killings) where Sydney did not get involved. The meta aspect of this fits in a Scream franchise, but it feels odd that the implication was that the last movie sucked because Sydney wasn’t there.

A new Ghostface finds his/her way to the town where Sydney was living and began killing off easily replaceable characters who have little to no characterization. For example, Asa Germann, who played Sam on Gen V, was only ever referred to as the “weird one.” There is no reason or explanation. That was his sole character trait. McKenna Grace was here too, but all I know about her character was that she was the blonde friend who was in the school play. There were actually some good actors in this film, but they were not given anything worthy to do.

We knew from casting news that Matthew Lillard was returning to the film as Stu Macher, who had been killed in the first Scream film. There was a lot of speculation about whether he was returning as the same character, but that is one of the most obvious bit in the film. No spoilers, but you’ll get it.

Then speaking of no spoilers, the ending reveal is perhaps the dumbest part of the entire movie. There are some cameos in this movie that are just terrible and make zero sense.

It felt like this movie played only on nostalgia without having any original thoughts of its own.

As I said, I didn’t hate this, but I am only a guy who has liked the Scream franchise. I think that if you are a big fan of Scream and its sequels, you are going to hate this. If you just want a dumb time at the movies, set your expectations low and you may not hate yourself for watching it.

2 stars

Psycho Killer

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So I went to a movie today.

Psycho Killer is a new serial killer film from director Gavin Polone, featuring Georgina Campbell. It was written by Andrew Kevin Walker (who also wrote Se7en). I saw the original poster for this movie when I was doing the banner for February 2026, and it looked good. I saw it at Cinemark today and I realized that Psycho Killer was anything but good.

In fact, it was the worst film I have seen so far in 2026. Yes, the year is only in its second month, but this was certainly bad and it was outside of January.

What was good about this movie?

Hm

Wait a minute….

Um… it is better than last year’s War of the Worlds.

To be fair, I believe this film had a premise that could have been cool and could have worked, but anything that was cool about the movie was discarded and was ignored as the film moved on. It was such a mess, writing wise that one wondered how this could have been written by the guy who wrote Se7en.

There are no characteristics about any of the characters. They are all just one-dimensional cardboard cutouts. The psycho killer is not a character at all. The Psycho Killer is nothing more than a deep (silly) voice.

I have to say as well that the end of this movie is one of the worst endings that I have seen in such a long time. It totally did not make any sense and even the lacking character that this psycho killer had made no sense as to why this was done. It was just DUMB. I thought that I missed something along the way before this ending, but I did not. There was nothing that led to this story arc.

This felt like a lazy film without any real characters or real stakes for anyone I gave a crap about. It has one of the worst ending sequences of the last several years and just is not worth an hour and a half of anyone’s time.

0.8 stars

Dracula (2026)

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I dozed off during Iron Lung today, but I sure as heck wished I had dozed off during this new version of Bram Stoker’s classic Dracula. It would have made the film seem better than it was.

According to IMDB, “When a 15th-century prince denounces God after the loss of his wife he inherits an eternal curse: he becomes Dracula. Condemned to wander the centuries, he defies fate and death, guided by a single hope – to be reunited with his lost love.“

I found that there were a bunch of things about this version of Dracula that I did not like at all. Directed by Luc Besson, who I loved as the director of The Fifth Element, Dracula was just a waste of my time.

First of all, what is the exact tone of this thing? It bounced around between a horror movie and a comedy, almost slapstick-like. There were scenes where I was laughing at that I am not sure were intended to be funny. Or maybe it was and the scenes were more successful in the end. There was a scene with Matilda De Angelis’s Maria that seemed like it should have been in one of those horror movie parody films. It was easily the worst scene of the movie.

Then, Dracula had a bunch of stone gargoyle friends, like this was a Disney movie. The gargoyles did not speak like they did in Hunchback of Notre Dame, but they looked ridiculous and did not fit with the concept of this movie.

The look of the movie was terrible too. There were so many scenes where the CGI looked bad and that you could tell where the green screen was and there is no excuse in 2026 for your CGI to be this bad.

The whole love story at the center of the film was not believable to me either. Zoë Bleu felt like she was overacting in nearly every scene and I did not feel any chemistry between Zoë Bleu’s character and Dracula, who was played by Caleb Landry Jones. Jones was fine as Dracula, but that is about it. I do not think his performance will be remembered in the echelon of Dracula performances.

I found the ending to be really stupid too. How can you have a star like Christoph Waltz in your film but let him flounder as he did during this version of Dracula.

I just did not like this film much as I struggled to find much positive to say about it. There are a half dozen Dracula movies better than this one, at least, and I am not sure why anyone would choose this version of the film over some of those.

1.4 stars

Iron Lung

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I had no idea what this movie was last week when it debuted as the number two movie at the box office. I heard some talk about it this past week after its massive success. That certainly put it on my radar.

The film was written and directed by YouTuber Markiplier and is based on a video game from 2022 by David Szymanski. Markiplier said the the film would be self-financed and that he would star in the film. With a small budget of $3 million dollars, Iron Lung made a whopping $30 million + worldwide.

With the huge story of the self-made man overcoming the Hollywood order to make a hit movie, the question was, “Was Iron Lung any good?” Sadly, I did not enjoy the film as much as I had hoped that I would.

According to IMDB, “In a post-apocalyptic future after ‘The Quiet Rapture’ event, a convict explores a blood ocean on a desolate moon using a submarine called the ‘Iron Lung’ to search for missing stars/planets.“

The convict was played by Markiplier, aka Mark Fischbach, and the setting was definitely an effectively claustrophobic thriller with an air of uncertainty. I would even go as far as to say that the best part of the film was the setting as it created the desired effect of the audience.

Unfortunately, I found that the story did not grab me and that I found it dull. If I am being honest, I dozed off a couple of times during the movie, so it might not be fair to judge it, but I can say that the story failed to maintain my attention.

I am very happy for Mark Fischbach and I am impressed with his success with this movie. Maybe I should give it a rewatch some day, maybe when it arrives on streaming. As for now, I would recommend people go see it to support someone who is not letting the challenges stop him from reaching for his dream. I just was not much of a fan of the part of the movie that I saw.

2.5 stars

(I reserve the right to raise or lower this score in a future viewing)

MASH (1970)

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January 31

So another Genre-ary comes to an ending with today’s movie, MASH, the original film from 1970 starring Donald Sutherland, Elliot Gould and Tom Skerritt, wrapping up the Comedy Genre-ary 2026.

I love MASH the TV show (it was my #8 in the Top 100) and that probably hurt this film, which I have seen a few clips from, but never sat down and watched the entire thing.

They were saying character names that I loved, but who did not seem like the characters that I loved. Outside of Radar O’Reilly (who was played by Gary Burghoff in the film and the TV series, the only cast member that returned), we saw Hawkeye Pierce, Trapper John, Henry Blake, Hot Lips, Frank Burns, Father Mulcahy, and Spearchucker.

My biggest problem with this film is that it is not the TV show. The doctors of the 4077 MASH felt so much meaner than what I was used to. I did not like some of the things that they did because they felt cruel instead of funny. They were cruder, obnoxious and not as empathic as I expected.

The plot was nearly non-existent. The film was just a series of scenes that were only connected together because they came at the 4077 MASH. That is… until the show turned into a football film. There were several episodes of the TV show where they competed against other units, but seeing them all in full football pads and helmets was weird.

The actors were strong with Donald Sutherland, Elliot Gould, Tom Skerritt, Gary Burghoff, Rene Auberjonois, Robert Duvall, Sally Kellerman, Jo Ann Pflug, Fred Williamson, David Arkin, Roger Bowen, Michael Murphy, and Timothy Brown.

I am sure that I would have liked this more than I did, if I did not have the TV series so firmly placed in my head.

And with that… the 2026 Genre-ary is closed.

The Beauty S1 E1, E2, E3

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Spoilers

“Beautiful Pilot”

“Beautiful Jordan”

“Beautiful Christopher Cross”

Ignition Press released a comic a few months ago called The Beauty, written by Jeremy Haun. I was unaware that there was a series before this one from Image Comics. I am enjoying the book from Ignition Press so I was intrigued when I heard that Ryan Murphy was adapting it to a FX series. The first three episodes dropped this past week and there will be a weekly drop on Wednesdays after that.

There is a virus that is transmitted sexually. When you get the virus, you become beautiful (in a horribly painful and gross way). Admittedly, there are some people who just explode in a big bloody mess. Not sure the difference at this point.

Evan Peters stars in the show as Cooper Madsen. The show also featured Rebecca Hall, Anthony Ramos, Ashton Kutcher, and Jeremy Pope.

FBI Agents Cooper and Jordan were investigating the mysterious deaths of several super models, including one that went crazy, killing a bunch of people before she exploded in a bloody splash. Meanwhile, out-of-shape and pathetic young man named Jeremy went to a plastic surgeon with the hope to make himself more attractive. The plastic surgeon worked on him, and it seemed to be successful. Jeremy went to a club where a group of women gave him some attention. However, they were just scamming him for free drinks.

Jeremy, in a rage, went to the surgeon’s office with a gun, killed several staff members, and threatened the doctor. The doctor, however, had another suggestion and hooked him up with a mysterious woman. Jeremy and the woman had sex and Jeremy wound up transforming into a more handsome, in shape person.

This series has a lot of body horror in it, and that is not one one of my favorite types of horror, but I am interested in the series so I will certainly be giving it a chance. I have been disappointed with Ryan Murphy lately (hated American Horror Story: Delicate and Grotesquerie). I did love early AHS and American Crime Story, so he has a hit-or-miss run for me. We’ll see how this goes.

Bamboozled (2000)

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January 19

In honor of Martin Luthor King Day, I scheduled Spike Lee’s film Bamboozled for the Genre-ary. It was quite the satire.

According to IMDB, “A frustrated African-American TV writer proposes a blackface minstrel show in protest, but to his chagrin, it becomes a hit.“

The idea of this movie was used recently in the film American Fiction starring Jeffrey Wright. The thing is that this was so much more satirical than I ever expected.

Damon Wayans played Pierre Delacroix, a highly educated and uptight TV writer whose pitches were being rejected by his boss, Thomas Dunwitty (Michael Rapaport). Delacroix decided to provide a protest by presenting a minstrel variety show embracing all of the negative stereotypes associated with blacks. He intended on the show being rejected and leading to his own firing to escape the contract that he signed.

The problem was that the show became a huge hit by the public and the critics. Delacroix became enthralled by the success, losing himself in the racism.

There are so many shocking moments throughout Bamboozled that it is a difficult movie to watch. It is a powerful dismissal of the manner of television and its portrayal of African-Americans over the years. Admittedly, Bamboozled is not subtle in its satire, which may make it too cartoonish at times.

The ending was extremely tough to watch as everything came to a head. The idea that this movie had times that were difficult to watch was clearly done on purpose. It was meant to shake up the idea of racial stereotypes and racism inside the entertainment industry as well as throughout history, and Spike Lee definitely reached that level.

This is one of those movies that I enjoyed, but will probably never want to watch again. I do think it is a worthwhile show and some of the big ideas are necessary to today’s world.