#67

Phony Calls

Title: “Phony Calls”

Written: Lisa Lopes / Marqueze Ethridge / Patrick A. Brown / Ramon Murray / Rico Renard Wade /Al Yankovic

Album: Bad Hair Day

Release: 1996

Parody: “Waterfalls” by TLC

Genre: R & B

Samples: A prank call from Bart Simpson to Moe on The Simpsons. Voices were donbe by Nancy Cartwright (Bart) and Hank Azaria.

This is another great parody that would be out of date. With cell phones and caller ID, the prank call as they sing about here is much lesser. The parody of “Waterfalls” is still a brilliant work and the cameos by Bart and Moe really pull the song together.

Lyrics

Mom and dad are goin’ out for the evening
And you’re stuck inside the house all alone
That’s when you decided it might be fun to harass someone
Dial a random number up on your telephone
You ask if their refrigerator is running
Then you tell ’em they should go out and catch it
Buddy, if they ever figured out where you were callin’ ’em from
They’d come and bust your head right in with a ratchet
Listen to me
Don’t go makin’ phony calls
Please stick to the seven-digit numbers you’re used to
I know that you think it’s funny drivin’ folks up the wall
But it’s really gettin’ old fast
Little Melvin has a natural obsession
Askin’ for Prince Albert in a can
He gets a kick each time he makes a collect call
To some guy he doesn’t know who lives in Japan
He’s callin’ strangers up at three in the morning
Gives ’em pizza pie delivery at four
He won’t be laughin when they’re tracin’ his line
One day the phone police will be there at his door
Yo, hear me
Don’t go makin’ phony calls
Only dial the seven-digit numbers you’re used to
Swear someday I’m gonna yank that phone cord right out from the wall
How long is this phase gonna last?
Come on Moe’s bar, what’ll ya eat, beat or drink?
Uh, yeah, hello, is Mike there?
Last name Rotch.
Hold on. I’ll check.
Mike Rotch! Mike Rotch!
Hey, has anybody seen Mike Rotch lately?
Listen to me, you little puke.
One of these days, I’m going to catch you,
And I’m going to carve my name on your back with an ice pick!
Don’t go makin’ phony calls
Please stick to the seven-digit numbers you’re used to
You went through the New York City phone book and prank called ’em all
Hope that you grow out of this fast
Dont’ go makin’ phony calls,
Please stick to the seven-digit numbers you’re used to
Betcha think it’s funny when you’re drivin’ folks right up the wall
But you’re just a pain in the aaa….

Source: LyricFind

#69

Since You’ve Been Gone

Title: Since You’ve Been Gone

Written: Al Yankovic

Album: Bad Hair Day

Release: 1996

Style: a capella/1960s pop-rock

This is a fun song, in the same general vein as “One More Minute.” This is one of the few Al songs that had an official karaoke version as a B side to Gump.

Lyrics

Since you’ve been gone
Well, I feel like I’ve been chewing on tinfoil
Since you’ve been gone
It’s like I got a great big mouthful of cod liver oil
Oh well, I’m feelin’ like I stuck my hand
Inside a blender and turned it on
You know, I’ve been in a butt load of pain
Since you’ve been gone
(Since you’ve been gone)
I couldn’t feel any worse if you dropped
A two-ton bowling ball on my toes
(Since you’ve been gone)
It couldn’t hurt anymore if you shoved
A red-hot cactus up my nose

Since you’ve been gone
Well, it feels like I’m getting tetanus shots every day
Since you’ve been gone
It’s like I’ve got an ice cream headache that won’t go away
Ever since the day you left me
I’ve been so miserable, my dear
I feel almost as bad as I did
When you were still here

Source: LyricFind

#72

Gump

Title: “Gump”

Album: Bad Hair Day

Release: 1996

Written: Chris Ballew/ Jason S. Finn / David Michael Dederer/Al Yankovic

Parody: “Lump” by The Presidents of the United States

Another topic that Al uses in his songs was movies. He has spoofed Spider-Man, Star Wars, and this one, based on the film Forrest Gump. Al’s video is another example of what Weird Al does as he parodied the Presidents of the Unites States as well. Ruth Buzzi guest starred as well.

Lyrics

Gump sat alone on a bench in the park
“My name is Forrest”, he’d casually remark
Waitin’ for the bus with his hands in his pockets
He just kept sayin’ life is like a box of chocolates

He’s Gump, he’s Gump
What’s in his head?
He’s Gump, he’s Gump, he’s Gump
Is he in-bred?

Gump was a big celebrity
He told JFK that he really had to pee
He never feels too dumb because
His mom always told him stupid is as stupid does

He’s Gump, he’s Gump
He’s kinda square
He’s Gump, he’s Gump, he’s Gump
What’s with that hair?
Wow!

Run, run
Run, run, now Forrest, run
Run
Run like the wind now
Run, run
Run, run, now Forrest, run
Stop!

His buddy Bubba was a shrimp-lovin’ man
His friend with no legs he called Lieutenant Dan
His girlfriend Jenny was kind of a slut
Went to the White House, showed LBJ his butt

He’s Gump, he’s Gump
He’s not too bright
He’s Gump, he’s Gump, he’s Gump
But he’s alright
Wow!

Is this Gump out of his head?
I think so
Is this Gump really brain dead?
I think so
Yeah, woo!
Did this Gump make lots of bread?
I think so
And that’s all I have to say about that

Source: Musixmatch

#73

Toothless People

Title: “Toothless People”

Written:  Mick Jagger/Daryl Hall/David A. Stewart/Al Yankovic

Album: Polka Party

Release: 1986

Parody: “Ruthless People” by Mick Jagger

This is another hidden gem as Al parodied a title track to the movie Ruthless People. It was deep on the album Polka Party but was always a personal favorite.

Lyrics

They only show you their gums when they smile
Ain’t got a tooth in their heads now, how vile
Only can eat things like pudding and applesauce
They never have to buy toothpicks or dental floss

Hey, stand up
Toothless people, their breath is lethal, want to tell you
Hey, come on, stand up, get on your feet
Toothless people, old and feeble, what I say

No more of those pearly whites will they possess
Their oral hygiene is frightful, a mess
Lots of ’em suffering from trench mouth and gum disease
At least they don’t have to worry ’bout cavities

Hey, stand up, take out your teeth
Toothless people, old and feeble, oh yes

You can brush ’em, you can floss ’em
They’re something you just can’t ignore
If you lose ’em, you’re in trouble
‘Cause the tooth fairy won’t come no more
You need something to show your dentist
The next time he makes you say “Ah”
You don’t want to have to wind up
Eating all of your food through a straw

You’d better brush your teeth now (hey)
Toothless, toothless, toothless, toothless people
Hey, stand up, toothless people

Source: LyricFind

#77

Inactive

Title: “Inactive”

Written: Dan Reynolds/Wayne Sermon/Ben McKee/Daniel Platzman/Alex da Kid/Josh Mosser/Al Yankovic.

Album: Mandatory Fun

Release: 2014

Parody: “Radioactive” by Imagine Dragons

This song really spoke to me…. especially that line that says I can’t reach the remote control…

Lyrics

I’m waking up, in Cheeto dust
My belly’s covered with pizza crust
I’m using my inhaler now
I’m out of shape, fattening up
I’m sipping Coke from a Solo Cup
Donut crumbs are upon my lips, whoa

The TV’s on, I really hate this show
I can’t reach my remote control
Welcome to my new place, to my new place
Sorry it’s a cramped space, but it’s my place
Whoa oh, whoa I’m, really inactive, I’m so inactive
Whoa oh, whoa I’m, really inactive, highly inactive

My muscle’s gone, I’m atrophied
Always lose my fight with gravity
I rest my bones, and just chillax, whoa
My NordicTrack’s collecting dust
And my StairMaster’s a pile of rust
This is it, The Inertia, whoa

I can’t get up, this couch is part of me
I’m growing cobwebs on my knee
Pretty sad for my age, sad for my age
I could break my rib cage, here is my age
Whoa oh, whoa I’m, really inactive, yes, quite inactive
Whoa oh, whoa I’m, really inactive, not very active

Near comatose, no exercise
Don’t tag my toe, I’m still alive

I’m giving up, my energy is shot
I’m never moving from this spot
Never move from this place, move from this place
I’ll stay here in this place, right in this place
Whoa oh, whoa I’m, really inactive, just so inactive
Whoa oh, whoa I’m, really inactive, not so attractive

Source: Musixmatch

#79

Harvey the Wonder Hamster

Title: “Harvey the Wonder Hamster”

Written: Al Yankovic

Album: Alapalooza

Style: March

The shortest song of the countdown, Harvey the Wonder Hamster is a song written for the Weird Al Show and the character of Harvey, who was Al’s pet but also appeared as an anthropomorphic hamster sidekick of the town’s crimefighter, Fatman.

Lyrics

Oh, Harvey, Harvey
Harvey the wonder hamster
He doesn’t bite and he doesn’t squeal
He just runs around on his hamster wheel

Harvey, Harvey
Harvey the wonder hamster
Hey, Harvey!

Source: Musixmatch

#80

George of the Jungle

Title: “George of the Jungle”

Written: Stan Worth and Sheldon Allman and Marc Shaiman

Album: Dare to Be Stupid

Released: 1985

Genre: TV Theme Songs

Weird Al rerecorded the theme for the 1967 cartoon George of the Jungle for his Dare to Be Stupid album. His version of the theme was included in the 1997 live-action movie of the same name. This will be one of the few songs in this top 100 that Weird Al did not write or at least contribute to himself.

Lyrics

George, George, George of the jungle
Strong as he can be
Ahhh
Watch out for that tree

George, George, George of the jungle
Lives a life that’s free
Ahhh
Watch out for that tree

When he gets in scrapes
When he makes his escapes
With the help of his friend
An ape named Ape

Then away he’ll schlep
On his elephant Shep
While Fella and Ursula
Stay in step with

George, George, George of the jungle
Friend to you and me
Ahhh
Watch out for that tree
Watch out for that (Ahhh) (Oooh) tree
George, George, George of the Jungle
Friend to you and me

Source: LyricFind