Spenser Confidential

Image result for spenser confidential poster

Back in the 1980s, there was a TV program on ABC called Spenser for Hire and starred Robert Urich and Avery Brooks.  I never loved this series, but I watched it a few times.  So you can forgive me that I did not figure out that the new film on Netflix, Spenser Confidential is a return to that character, this time starring Mark Wahlberg and Winston Duke.

Based on the novel “Wonderland” by Robert B Parker and directed by Peter Berg, Spenser (Mark Wahlberg) was a cop convicted of assaulting his police chief.  After serving his time, Spenser returned to his life with the intent of leaving his home in Boston and heading out west to drive truck.  However, a group of crooked cops and drug runners throw problems in his path.  Spenser has to team up with Hawk (Winston Duke), a MMA fighter who was living with Spenser’s mentor, Henry (Alan Arkin), to try to solve the murders of a couple of Spenser’s previous colleagues.

I had some problems with this movie.  First and foremost, it felt as if the film did not know what kind of film it wanted to be.  At first it felt flashy and dumb, like a Michael Bay movie.  Then it seemed like it wanted to be a buddy cop movie.  Then, it tried to be a slapstick comedy.  Then there was serious drama with the crime story.  All of these different styles did not fit together in this case and really clashed.  By trying to be it all, this movie was never able to be itself.  It failed in all of the different tones.

Wahlberg and Duke were fine.  Duke will always be M’Baku from Marvel’s Black Panther, and, unfortunately, this version of Hawk was nothing like the Avery Brooks version.  I understand the attempt to take the character in a different direction, but this was a real tangent.  Arkin was the same basic character that Arkin is in every movie these days.  There is a character named Cissy (Iliza Shlesinger), Spenser’s former girlfriend, but the less mentioned about her the better.  This character is easily the most annoying and least engaging character on the screen.

And Marc Maron is here too, but he is wasted.  His character is so disposable that I am not even sure what his role here was.

The story is totally messy.  It was convoluted and confusing.  It wanted to be a mystery as well, but that played like every low-level buddy cop film you’ve ever seen.  The bad guys are woefully underdeveloped and are basically one-dimensional crooks from your typical crime movie.  Nothing special about any of them.  They kept referring to Boylan (Michael Gaston), the police chief Spenser assaulted, but we knew so little about him that their use of him felt like lazy writing.

The comedy in the movie was just such a flop. There is one scene with Spenser and a dog that is as dumb as it can be.  I am not sure I can recall any of the humor actually hitting.

This was just a bad movie and a failed attempt to bring the character of Spenser back to relevance.  Wahlberg and Duke worked okay together and would be the best part of this movie.  They are absolutely not enough to save this silly reboot.   I do not think fans of the Spenser for Hire series or the Robert B. Parker novels featuring the character of Spenser will enjoy this movie much.

2.3 stars 

Onward

Image result for onward movie poster

I was able to see an early showing of Pixar’s latest animated movie, Onward, and I was extremely pleased that I had the chance.

This is another fantastic film from Pixar Studios.

Ian (Tom Holland) is an elf living in a fantasy world that has lost its magic and become very much like today’s real world.  His brother Barley (Chris Pratt) is a gamer who treats his Dungeon and Dragons-like game as history of the world.  They live with their mother Laurel (Julia Louis Dreyfus), who had been widowed for years.

In fact, Ian had never met his father and that loss had always challenged the character.  So, on his 16th birthday, Ian’s mother gave him a gift from his father.  It was a magic staff and a spell that could resurrect the father for one day only.

The big problem was that the magic caused some trouble and, when they attempted to bring the father back, they were only able to resurrect half of the man, from the waist down.

Having a day left to try and find another magic gem that could finish the job, Ian and Barley headed out on an adventure of self-discovery and brotherly bonding.

Honestly, the first part of Onward was a bit slow and it was fine.  However, when you are watching a Pixar film, fine does not cut it.  As the film progressed though, the emotional bond between Ian and Barley started to carry the movie and it was not too long until Onward was firing on all cylinders.  Honestly, the third act of this movie was just tremendous and took Onward to a different level.

Pixar certainly knows how to create emotions among the viewers.  They tugged on the feelings throughout the movie and I am not ashamed to admit that the final act saw me with tears running down my face.  It reminded me, in good ways, of both Coco and Inside Out.  It also absolutely had a ton of homages to Indiana Jones movies in fairly obvious ways.

The voice cast was outstanding.  I have already mentioned Holland, Pratt and Louis Dreyfus, but I have not yet mentioned Octavia Spencer, who voices the Manticore, an amalgam of several animals (like a griffin) that had a legendary history in the fantasy world.  Spencer was great and had some of the funniest lines in the film.

Of course, the animation in the movie was continually great.  Pixar films are always above the line for CGI and character creation.  It is a beautiful film to look at through the entire run.

In the end, the movie truly dives into the brotherly connection between Ian and Barley, providing a relationship that is undeniably relatable and powerful.  The sentiments of loss that are interspersed in the script is done deftly and in a way that expertly draws out the emotions in the viewers, both young and old.  The third act of this movie is as good as it gets and really takes what was being set up as a decent Pixar movie and makes it an excellent Pixar movie.

When this opens nationwide next weekend, make sure you take your family to see it.  Or go on your own.  It is worth your time.

4.5 stars

The Invisible Man (2020)

Image result for Invisible man poster

This is how the Dark Universe should have gone.

The brand new version of the classic Universal Monsters movie, The Invisible Man, came out this weekend with Blumhouse’s Jason Blum as a producer and he showed, once again, that you can make a movie with a small budget and make it compelling and intriguing.

Cecilia Kass (Elizabeth Moss) was in an abusive relationship with tech magnet Adrian Griffin (Oliver Jackson-Cohen) and she tried to escape.  With the help of her sister (Harriet Dyer) and friend James (Aldis Hodge), Cecilia was able to escape from Adrian’s controlling clutch.

When news of Adrian’s suicide reached Cecilia, she was not as relieved as she should have been because she began to suspect that Adrian was still alive and stalking her by somehow turning himself invisible.  She found herself becoming more paranoid with each passing moment and the people in her life believed that she was falling into madness.

I really enjoyed a lot of The Invisible Man and my first watch of it was very enjoyable.  I must say, upon reflection, there are more moments in the film that I found pressed the level of plausibility and might make this one of those films that I like less over time.  As of right now though, I thought it was fun.

Elizabeth Moss was great in the lead, really showing the tension and the potential descent into madness for her character.  I wish the film had not revealed so quickly that this was what was happening because, although they hinted at the fact that this might just be Cecilia’s paranoia and mental state, this was never in question.  Part of that went with the promotional material for the film as the trailer certainly gave much of the film away.  It would have given the film another level that would have helped the story.

The performances were all great and the use of the invisibility was very well done.  There were moments in the film that were very tense because you were never quite sure if Adrian was actually there.  I know I always assumed he was there.

Some of the things that I would quibble with are spoilers so I won’t be specific, but there were several moments when it felt as if the characters responded in ways only because the film needed them to do so.  There were a bunch of horror tropes here too that took away from the overall quality of the film.  These are minor points though as they did not bother me too much during the movie.  I found myself several times wondering why she did or did not make certain choices.

Directed by Leigh Whannell, The Invisible Man creates a world of suspense and terror that comes from the unknown.  We have all walked into a room in our house with that creepy feeling that someone is watching us, even though we know for certain that is not the case.  Whannell successfully mines that naturally unnerving feeling and takes it to its nth degree.

Sure there were some ticky-tack things that could have been tighter or could have been scripted better, but that is nitpicking.  In the end, The Invisible Man is a solid horror/thriller film in a year where horror/thriller needed a good one.  Elizabeth Moss is a star and her performance steals the show.

4.2 stars

Color Out of Space

Image result for color out of space poster

I love the Movie Trivia Schmoedown, an online trivia show with some WWE and UFC tendencies.  It is remarkably enjoyable and has only grown and improved every year.  The reason why I watched this movie was because of the Movie Trivia Schmoedown.

One of the top competitors in the Movie Trivia Schmoedown is named “The Kid” Brendan Meyer.  He is a young and popular competitor that has an encyclopedia knowledge of movie trivia.  I also knew that Meyer was an actor and that he had been in the OA.  When I heard his Schmoedown team partner, critic William Bibbiani talking about Meyer’s new movie, Color Out of Space, and how he would not be reviewing it to avoid any cries of potential bias, I wanted to see it.

So I found the film on Vudu and waited until it became available for rental (which was today).  Who knew that this was a film that was starring Nicolas Cage?

Color Out of Space was a science fiction/horror mash-up where a meteorite crashed on the farm of the Gardners in rural New England.  After the meteorite crashed, the whole family found themselves acting differently than they had before while some kind of mutant organism infected them.

Brendan Meyer was the oldest son to Nicolas Cage.  Joely Richardson played the wife of Cage and mother to Meyer.  There was a sister, played by Madeleine Arthur and a younger son played by Julian Hilliard.  Elliot Knight appeared as Ward, an investigator there to try and help the family.  Finally, playing stoned hippie Ezra was the one and only Tommy Chong.

Nicolas Cage was at his very best, over-the-top craziness in this movie.  It is an area within that he has absolute carved out a place for himself.  Brendan Meyer was quite impressive in the role of Benny as well.  Watching the kid work here, one believes that he has quite an impressive future ahead of him.

I felt the first part of the film was a little slow, but it built nicely as the tension continued to grow.  By the third act, the film had grabbed hold of me and created a wild and crazy conclusion.

This is based on a short story by H.P. Lovecraft and it is directed by Richard Stanley.  This is a weird and bizarre film that is energetic and entertaining.  I am glad that I watched it.  Thanks The Kid.

3.7 stars

The Last Thing He Wanted

Image result for the last thing he wanted poster

I discovered this on Netflix this weekend and saw a cast of very impressive actors. I mean… Anne Hathaway, Ben Affleck, Willem Dafoe, Rosie Perez, and Toby Jones are all some of the greatest actors working today.  It makes one wonder how this film, which should have been truly successful as a political thriller,  went so off track with such a top flight cast.

But The Last Thing He Wanted, based on the novel of the same name by Joan Didion, was convoluted and confusing.  The story kept having events happen that make little sense and made the narrative difficult to follow.

Journalist Elena McMahon (Anne Hathaway) walked off the presidential coverage she had been assigned to follow in order to help complete her sick father’s (Willem Dafoe) business deal, which was dealing arms to Central American countries.  She suddenly found herself over her head, involved in the very story that she had been trying to reveal prior.

Set during the heart of the Iran-Contra Affair, Elena’s motives were not always clear.  Was she doing this for her father?  Her daughter?  The story?  Her country?  None of it is clear.

Anne Hathaway is solid in the role.  Ben Affleck, who played Treat Morrison, a government official who becomes involved with Elena.  Willem Dafoe is probably the most interesting character in the film, but the end results of his character arc is disappointing and occurs off-screen.

The end of the film is messy and sloppy.  It hardly is worth the time that you have to put into the story to understand what is going down.

I find it difficult to believe that Elena is any sort of international journalist.  She seemed fairly lacking in skills.  I would think a journalist of this caliber would have a few more tricks up her sleeve.

This was a pretty disappointing film.   I certainly expected more when I saw who was involved.

2 stars

The Call of the Wild

Image result for call of the wild poster

I really am more of a cat person.

I do love Harrison Ford, and he is great in this movie.  Unfortunately, I had checked out way before Ford ever showed up in this adaptation of the classic Jack London novel.

The Call of the Wild is the story of a dog named Buck who gets abducted from his domestic bliss and winds up in the Yukon as a sled dog under the control of a variety of masters.

I was out of this movie immediately because of the fact that Buck (and all of the other dogs as well) were CGI in this movie and it was CGI that was simply not very well done.  Buck felt more like a cartoon character you might see in a Scooby Doo movie than a real dog involved in an iconic story.  I just could not get past the manner in which Buck was portrayed in this movie and, despite the fact that I enjoyed the Harrison Ford component of the story and that the look of the scenery was lovely, this animated dog just was so poorly done I could not forgive it.

Sure, the film is heart-warming and a pretty solid film for the family.  If you can get past the way that Buck looks and the fact that the dog is more human than many of the other characters in the film, then you probably will love this movie.

However, I could not get past it.  Besides Buck, there was a villain involved here named Hal (which I had no idea and had to look up on IMDb to get his character name).  Hal (Dan Stevens) is the total mustache-twirling villain with zero motivation outside of “gold” and… “evil.”  Hal has to be an early year leading candidate for Worst Villain.

There needed to be considerably more Harrison Ford here than what we got.  He does not come into serious use until late in the movie.  The first forty-five minutes to an hour had only a few slight uses of Ford.  His character had an interesting background and a real reason to be the way he was, and I could have used more of that.

Yes, I know that the movie was following Jack London’s book more and there is a chunk of time spent with Buck as a sled dog with French mail delivery man Perrault (Omar Sy), but I needed more of Ford and there was no reason they could not have set this up as two characters who were destined to meet and then we spend time with both.

Dog lovers may love this movie.  I found the CGI terribly distracting and unnecessary.  There were some laugh out loud moments of unintentional comedy that distracted from the deadly serious survival tale of the original novel.  The film could be worse, but it could also be much better too.

2.5 stars 

Brahms: The Boy II

Image result for the boy 2 poster

2020 horror movies have been pretty terrible so far and this sequel that feels as if it were completely unnecessary, is no exception.

Brahms” The Boy II came out this weekend and it takes its place among the bad horror movies of 2020.

In a sequel to the 2016 film The Boy, Brahms: The Boy II actually takes the premise from the previous movie and totally changes it up.  It is one of the stranger facts involving this movie, which makes little sense.  Honestly, The Boy was okay, but I do not remember much about it outside of the fact that it starred The Walking Dead’s Lauren Cohan.

There was no Lauren Cohan to be found here though, replaced as lead by Katie Holmes.  She played Liza, who, along with her son Jude (Christopher Covery), were the victims of a random home invasion that really messed them up, mentally.  In an attempt for a fresh start, they, along with Liza’s husband and Jude’s father Sean (Owain Yeoman), moved to the country and wound up in the guest house of the Heelshire Estate from the original movie.

Soon after arriving, Jude finds the doll Brahms buried in the woods by the house and the doll begins to communicate with the kid, controlling him and leading to some terrible events to happen.  Liza, still dealing with her own PTSD from the home invasion incident, is extremely uneasy with the doll, going as far as to wonder if the doll is alive.  However Jude, who has been mute since the attack, has begun talking to the doll and she was so happy with this occurrence that some of the other behavior is ignored.

Soon, Liza can no longer ignore the behavior as bad things keep happening and everything points to Jude, or Brahms, being the culprit.

This is a terrible movie.

Yes, the acting is poor.  Katie Holmes is adequate, but she does so many stupid things and makes so many bed choices that you just cannot take her seriously as a mother.  There is a scene where she finds Jude’s notepad that contained sketches of a dead dog, of Jude standing over his parents’ dead bodies with a shotgun among others.  When she got caught looking at these drawing by Jude, she puts them down and kind of slinks away as if she was ashamed of looking.  It is not until later that she mentioned the drawings to Sean (which have been conveniently removed).   Why would a mother do that?  Wasn’t this a HUGE red light flashing in your face that your son is having some issues?  I don’t care at that point that I have invaded my son’s privacy.  That ship has sailed already.  I would be taking that kid immediately to get help and confronting him about the art.  That stupidity completely took me out of this movie.

Not that I was in the movie that much anyway.

Then there was a strange twist (if you want to call it that) in the third act that came out of nowhere and completely flipped everything that we had seen up until that point onto its head, and not in a good way.  The third act of this movie was totally ridiculous and filled with stupendously poor choices.

Even worse, the film is relentlessly dull.  So little happens that even the jump scares were not that effective.  Unless, of course, you are in a group of middle school kids, who happened to be in my theater and seemed to be scared by every inane thing that appeared unexpectedly (to them) on the screen.

There is a version of this movie (I believe) that makes this film more interesting.  Maybe if they were actually looking at PTSD or mental illness in some kind of actual way, using this creepy doll as a figure that is being imagined by either Liza or Jude and how they are manifesting that illness in physical ways.  But that is not here.  Brahms is a supernatural creature and totally ignores the original film, The boy, in the process.

Horror movies have really been skidding along in 2020 so far.  Here’s to hoping that the genre improves as the year progresses.

1.4 stars 

I Lost My Body (2019)

Image result for i lost my body poster

This past year’s Oscar nominated animated movies included one that I had not heard of before but could be found on Netflix.  Placing it on my queue, I would hope to get back to I Lost My Body, a film by Jeremy Clapin.

It truly is one of the more original animated films in a long time and a beautiful story, told through some wonderful animation.

We are following the severed hand of a young boy named Naoufel (Hakim Faris) in the hand’s attempt to find its way from the dissection lab back to the boy.  Along the way, the story is told in a series of flashbacks to prior events from the life of Naoufel.  This included his meeting and falling for Gabrielle (Victiore Du Bois), a librarian whom he meets while attempting unsuccessfully to deliver her pizza order.

The film keeps you wondering exactly what was happening and how it is happening.  You wonder what exactly has happened to Naoufel and how his hand became severed… and sentient.

While many of those questions are left for the audience to ponder, you can’t help but relate to Naoufel, whose mistakes are obvious, but done with an attempt to cure the loneliness that has plagued his life since the death of his parents.

I Lost My Body is an adult animation as there are situations and dialogue that would be too old for some children.  Still, it is a beautifully designed story and the animation is exceptional.  Especially the use of the sentient hand, which goes through so much in its hope to find its body.

I certainly can see why this was nominated for an Oscar, and I can understand those people who thought it should have won.  It is one of the most original animated films you are going to find.  Honestly, though, the ending left me a little cold and wanted for more of a resolution.  With that exception, the movie is a great experiment in storytelling and narrative.

classic

Image result for i lost my body poster

Force Majeure (2014)

Image result for force majeure

Yesterday, I went to see the new Will Farrell/Julia Louis Dreyfus movie called Downhill.  After seeing it, I discovered that it was a remake of a Swedish film called Force Majeure from 2014.  The word was the original film was better than the remake and, when I heard it was on Hulu, I was curious to see what it was like.  How I felt about it compared to the one I saw on Sunday.

The story is the same.  A family of four go on a ski vacation in the Alps and have an intense experience with a controlled avalanche while they.  Tomas (Johannes Kuhnke), the father,  grabbed his phone and ran off instead of helping his wife and kids.  This act of survival cut his family to its core.

Some of the reactions in the movie are different than from Downhill.  There is more subtly to the performances here.  Lisa Loven Kongsli played the mother Ebba and her reaction to the event She seemed to hide it more than Julia Louis Dreyfus did, even though Ebba’s feelings come out several times.

The children in this version have some strange reactions too and I their reactions are never quite handled sufficiently.

This version was funnier than Downhill.  This one found the comedy in very European manner.  It was more subtle and more inside the situation.

I am not sure what I thought of this ending.  It really seemed to go out of the way to make it okay for Tomas at the expense of the other characters.

I found this to be a better time than Downhill, but I did not think it was remarkably better and I am just not sure how I felt about the conclusion.

tweener

Image result for force majeure

The Searchers (1956)

Image result for the searchers poster

This was a movie that has been on my to watch list for awhile now.  It was introduced to me by watching the Top 10 Show and hearing John Rocha speak about it being his favorite Western.  I have not seen near as many Westerns as most other genres, so I wanted to give this a go and this morning fit the time perfectly.

The Searchers starred legendary John Wayne as Ethan Edwards, a hard nosed cowboy who returned to his brother’s home from the war.  After he returned, Comanche Indians attacked the house, killing several of the women and kidnapping two girls.  Ethan and some of the other men started out after the Comanche, who were led by the mysterious Scar (Henry Brandon) in an attempt to gain revenge and save the two girls.

Ethan Edwards was anything but a straight hero.  He was violent, hard-headed and stubborn, clinging to his own thoughts even if the evidence stated differently.  However, he was also a imposing figure that could be respected for his toughness.

This is perhaps John Wayne’s greatest role and he does an admirable job bringing the layers to a character that could easily have been one-note.

Some of the humor does not fit well in the film and some of the secondary characters are superfluous, but that is a minor criticism to make when the main character is such a ripe and vital creation.

The film is beautifully shot by iconic Western director John Ford, bringing the age of the Western into a different style.

If you have not seen The Searchers, you should absolutely seek it out.  It is one of the best Westerns I have seen and was a huge inspirations for the exceptional Westerns that followed.

vintage

Image result for the searchers poster

 

Downhill

Image result for downhill movie poster

I have never liked Will Farrell movies very much, but when I saw the trailers for the film Downhill, I thought this might be an exception.  Downhill is a remake of a Swedish film called FORCE MAJEURE, which I had never seen.  Apparently, it can be found on Hulu so I may dive into the original after I finish here.  Reportedly, those who have seen both say that the original is considerably better than the remake.

Of course, without that coloring my opinion, I was torn on this film.  There were parts that I thought were decent, but there were too many pieces that did not work.

Billie (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) and Pete (Will Farrell) Stanton are a married couple who have been having some marriage problems, mainly stemming from Pete’s father’s death.  So they decide to try and work on their marriage by heading on a ski trip to the Alps with their two sons.

Problem comes when, during a lunch at an outdoor restaurant, there was a controlled avalanche that sent snow roaring down the mountain toward the family. While Billie gripped her two sons, thinking that they were about to die, Pete grabbed his phone and ran away, leaving his family in the avalanche’s wake.  When the avalanche turned out to be way better than it appeared, Pete returned to his family, who now looked at him in a different light.

The remainder of the movie dealt with (kind of) the anger and resentment directed toward Pete and with Pete’s guilt and grief over the choices that he made.

As I said before, I do not like Will Farrell’s movies very much.  However, I will say that I think he did a really good job in this movie.  Farrell was considerably more restrained than he has been in a movie for quite awhile.  He showed the hidden feelings of Pete throughout the entire film, trying to find a reason to believe he had done the right thing.  Julia Louis-Dreyfus was excellent as Billie the wife who had her eyes opened to the man she had married and who had to struggle with the anguish of his decision.

However, there was not much chemistry between the two actors and I had a hard time buying that they were together.  The two kids (Ammon Jacob Ford & Julian Grey) were really underdeveloped and had little to do in the film outside of watching videos in their room.

The film makes you think it is a comedy because of the two lead actors involved, but there was little funny about this.  Apparently, the original film was a dark comedy, but to call this a dark comedy would not be apropos.

While the movie was only 86 minutes long, it felt considerably longer than that.  The film was awkward and uncomfortable, and not in the good way.  There is no real resolution of the story and many of the situations were left unsettled.  Though there were some good individual moments, the sum does not add up properly.

I am going to avoid making any puns using the title of the movie in this review.  Where as there were some positives here and there, Downhill was … well, you get the point.

2.6 stars

 

Sonic the Hedgehog

Image result for sonic the hedgehog poster

There was a massive controversy online over this movie last year.  The producers of the film released an image of the character design of the beloved video game character Sonic the Hedgehog and the fans of the product lost their minds on the internet.  It looked horrible and there was a backlash against it.  The producers of the film heard the audience and their outcry and decided to do something about it, redesigning the character to make it closer to the Sega video game.  It was a shocking happening from the studio to spend that extra money to make the fans happier.

Thank goodness they did it, because that character design would have dive-bombed this movie and it would not have been able to overcome.  Because of the extra loving care, what we wound up getting was a movie that was a lot of fun and an enjoyable film to watch.

Sonic the Hedgehog (voiced by Ben Schwartz) escaped his own planet to earth after being pursued for his power.  He had golden rings that allowed him to open a portal anywhere.  Sonic made a life on earth, hidden from the view of the people.  However, an accidental release of power caused a major black out, bringing the attention of the government.  The government sent part-human, part robot Dr. Ivo Robotnik (Jim Carrey) to the small town to try and find what caused the power outage.  Sonic had to take shelter with local sheriff Tom Wachowski (James Marsden). When Robotnik and his machines arrived at Tom’s front door, Sonic and Tom had to take off to find Sonic’s lost rings in San Francisco.

Jim Carrey is just having a ball as the evil villain Dr. Robotnik.  We have not see Carrey in this type of role since the 1990s and it is downright glorious.  Carrey is over-the-top in all the best ways and commands the screen as the lead villain.

The voice work of Ben Schwartz as Sonic is note perfect.  The voice fits beautifully with the new character design.  It is a good thing that the studio redesigned Sonic because the voice used by Schwartz would not have fit with the design they originally had planned.

This is probably the most charismatic and enjoyable I have ever seen James Marsden.  As Tom, Marsden was funny, charming and totally believable.  He and Sonic shared an easy chemistry which is vitally important since it was basically a buddy road movie.  I was immediately engaged with Tom and I found him extremely easy to root for during the struggles the film dropped them in.

The story was simple and predictable, but, in this case, I do not think that is a negative.  Instead of becoming too convoluted and trying to shove too much in, Sonic the Hedgehog had one basic plot and then depended on the interactions between its main characters, Sonic and Tom, as well as Dr. Robotnik.

Sure there are plot holes here and you could pick it apart if you want to, but the story is really secondary here to the interactions of the characters.

Sonic the Hedgehog is truly a film targeted for the young viewers. and, with that in mind, it succeeds tremendously.   As a family film, Sonic is a solid watch and should not cause parents to wish they had just dropped the kids off at the theater.  I would also say that if you are a fan of Sonic from the video games or animated series, this version will be to your liking.  I know there are some Easter eggs here from the series/video game that I missed, but longtime fans should find it awesome.  This includes a post credit scene involving a character that I did not know about, but others in my theater did (as I heard them speaking the character’s name in excitement).  Reminds me of the old days when Thanos appeared in the post credit scene of the first Avengers movie and not that many viewers knew who he was.

I hope this movie makes all the money this weekend and becomes a huge hit, if only for the reason of rewarding the studio for taking the time and spending the money to make the effects right.  It was important for the film to look right and they should be rewarded for that.  As a movie, it was a good time and I had a lot of fun.

3.75 stars 

Blumhouse’s Fantasy Island

Image result for fantasy island poster

I was a fan of the ABC TV show from the late ’70s & ’80s, Fantasy Island, that starred the iconic Ricardo Montalbán  and Hervé Villechaize as Mr. Roarke and Tattoo.  I enjoyed the series, watching every Saturday night and waiting for Tattoo to say, “Da plane, Da plane!”

So when I saw the trailers for Blumhouse’s new adaption of the former series, taking what was the ABC drama and giving it a horror twist, I was excited and looking forward to it.

Then I saw it.

It makes me sad.

A group of guests arrive on an airplane to Fantasy Island with the promise of having their personal fantasies fulfilled by Mr. Roarke (Michael Peña), the Island’s caretaker and host.  The fantasies would take a twist and become something more than what the guest believed.

The guests were played by Lucy Hale, Maggie Q, Ryan Hansen, Jimmy O. Yang and Austin Stowell.  These actors were fine.  Maggie Q was probably the best of the group.  However there were some major issues because none of these actors had characters that had any depth to them at all.  Because I knew so little about any of these characters, I had a difficult time connecting to them.  That was not the actors’ faults, but that does not change the fact that I did not care about any of these people.

The movie did not show us anything about these people prior to arriving on the Island so we only got to meet them as they stepped off the plane.  I know this was the way the TV show worked, but I think I needed something more for this.

Then, there were four active fantasies running at the same time, bouncing back and forth between them.  None of them were compelling enough to maintain momentum after switching so quickly between the stories.  These fantasies were too convoluted and hard to follow originally, and then they threw a needless twist in the film where the fantasies began to intertwine.  That made them even messier and nonsensical.

The way the story played out was completely ridiculous.  The “twist” here made zero sense and actually took the rest of the film and tossed out what had come before.  Motivations were juvenile and unbelievable.   It was not a good movie leading up to this decision, but it was so bad that it really damaged whatever good feeling there might have been here.

I had a hard time accepting Michael Peña as Rourke.  I think the film could have really made Rourke a great horror character here, but, for me, it just did not work.  And I think Michael Peña is awesome, but this was wrong casting for me. Then, I did not like the story arc the movie gave to Mr. Roarke.  This was a huge missed opportunity.

I think that is the main issue with this movie.  They had a real opportunity to make this film something special.  The TV show Fantasy Island as a horror movie is such a great concept, but the execution here is so totally blown that it is truly a disappointment.

Michael Rooker is in this movie.  He is totally wasted here as a character that is on the island and is meant to be mysterious, but his character is downright dumb and perfectly unimportant in the long run.  He had some amazing hair though.

Sadly, this was nowhere near what it could have been.  The stories did not mix well and the acting was unable to elevate the story.  I wish this was better.

1.6 stars 

The VelociPastor (2019)

Image result for VelociPastor

I decided to prepare for the 2020 Oscars tonight by watching a film on Amazon Prime that I had missed last year.  The film?  The VelociPastor.

Oh my god.

How exactly am I supposed to review this thing?

I mean, it could be one of the worst movie ever made, but I spent the entire film laughing my head off.  I was thoroughly entertained by the ridiculous movie.

As a critic, this is just horrendous.  As a movie fan, I loved it.

After his parents died in a car bomb, Pastor Doug Jones (Gregory James Cohan) went to China (sort of) to find his faith.  Instead of faith, he found a dying woman who gave him a dinosaur tooth.  After accidentally cutting himself with the tooth, Doug discovered that he could turn into a dinosaur.  Along with the hooker Carol (Alyssa Kempinski), Doug decided to use his new found ability to kill off the bad guys.

I knew immediately after seeing the words “VFX: Car on Fire” appeared on the screen instead of seeing the actual car on fire that this was going to be one wild ride.  And I was not wrong.

We got ninjas, completely extraneous flashbacks to the war, exploding girlfriends, rubbery heads and some of the worst acting and dialogue you are ever going to see.  And it was laugh out loud funny.  I mean, they had to do this on purpose, right?

You can’t make something this bad and not do it on purpose… right?

I cannot wait to see RiffTrax get their hands on this film because it is hilarious as it is and, when they add their own touch to it, it will be undeniably perfect.

This falls into the category of so bad it is good along with such non-classics as Birdemic: Shock and Terror, Plan 9 from Outer Space, Manos: Hands of Fate, The Room, Octaman and Samurai Cop.  Because of that, I have instituted a brand new category for Doc’s Classic Movies Reviewed.  It was a long time in coming, but this is the perfect example to kick off the category.

SoBad

Image result for VelociPastor

Timmy Failure: Mistakes Were Made

Image result for timmy failure poster

Disney + has a brand new original movie on its streaming service that celebrates the bond between a boy and his polar bear.

Based on the best-selling book by Stephan Pastis, Timmy Failure: Mistakes Were Made is a sweet, funny family movie that is well worth the time.

Timmy Failure (Winslow Fegley) is a 5th grader who has to face the problems of any fifth grader…specifically trying to keep his detective agency afloat by taking cases, dealing with the Russians and handling his 1200 pound partner, Total, who happens to be a polar bear.

Timmy’s mother Patty (Ophelia Lovibond) is supportive of her son even when he is in trouble at school from the curmudgeony teacher Mr. Crocus (Wallace Shawn) or when he is knee deep in chaos from his investigations of his cases.

Timmy finds a confidant in school counselor Mr. Jenkins (Craig Robinson) and has to deal with classmates Molly Moskins (Chloe Coleman), Rollo Tookus (Kei) and Corrina Corrina  (Ai-Chan Carrier).

Timmy Failure: Mistakes Were made is a film that is the definition of an unreliable narrator as the film is narrated by Timmy and he sees things in a different light.  In fact, most of what Timmy relays to the audience is fabrication and imagination.  We, as the audience, can see what is really going on as Timmy tells us what he is thinking, Russian plots and fears over moving to Middle School.

I was surprised how imaginative this movie was and how much I enjoyed it.  It was funny, and I actually laughed out loud several times.  The writing was cute and the performances were all well done.  I love Wallace Shawn, of course the classic Vizzini from the Prince Bride, and he is a perfect foil for the miniature detective.

Winslow Fegley does a really good job as the titular character, bringing a distinct deadpan performance that fit perfectly in with the character.  When he was asked to do more than that, he rose to the occasion.

Of course, there is not much weight to the film, but it is not the type of film that needs weight.  And truthfully, there are some interesting ideas found in the film that you see in the background.

This film could not be a greater departure from director Tom McCarthy.  Imagine being able to put on a resume that you are the director of Spotlight and Timmy Failure: Mistakes Were Made.  Yet his style mixes very well with the zany weirdness on display in this film and inside Timmy’s fanciful imagination.

This is a movie that should be entertaining for the whole family and shows how far imagination and creativity can take you.  The deeper messages of fear of change and being abandoned are there too if you choose to look.  Timmy Failure: Mistakes Were Made does have a few mistakes, but they are overshadowed by the positive message and the engaging characters.

3.8 stars