Topic: Jurassic park, the movie from Steven Spielberg
Fact: Al reached out to both Michael Crichton and Steven Spielberg for permission to parody the Jurassic Park film.
Weird Al has done many movie parodies in songs over the years including Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, Spider-Man and Rocky. Jurassic park joined that list with this lead track from Alapalooza.
I remember when this album came out. I was at Wal-Mart, looking at CDs when I spotted this new Weird Al album. I had no idea it was coming out and it was such an awesome surprise.
Lyrics
I recall the time they found those fossilized mosquitoes And before long, they were cloning DNA Now I’m being chased by some irate velociraptors Well, believe me this has been one lousy day
Jurassic Park is frightening in the dark All the dinosaurs are running wild Someone shut the fence off in the rain I admit it’s kinda eerie But this proves my chaos theory And I don’t think I’ll be coming back again, oh no!
I cannot approve of this attraction ‘Cause getting disemboweled always makes me kinda mad A huge tyrannosaurus ate our lawyer Well, I suppose that proves they’re really not all bad
Jurassic Park is frightening in the dark All the dinosaurs are running wild Someone let T- Rex out of his pen I’m afraid those things’ll harm me ‘Cause they sure don’t act like Barney And they think that I’m their dinner, not their friend, oh no!
Jurassic Park is frightening in the dark All the dinosaurs are running wild What a crummy weekend this has been Well, this sure ain’t no e-ticket Think I’ll tell them where to stick it ‘Cause I’m never coming back this way again, oh no, oh no!
Two in a row from Poodle Hat after not having a song for the whole run up until yesterday.
Lyrics
Peter Parker was pitiful Couldn’t have been any shyer Mary Jane still wouldn’t notice him Even if his hair was on fire
But then one day he went to that science lab That mutated spider came down Oh, and now Peter crawls over everyone’s walls And he’s swingin’ all over town
La li la, li de da La la, li le la da dumb
Sling us a web, you’re the Spider-Man Sling us a web tonight ‘Cause we’re all in the mood for a hero now And there’s evil doers to fight
Now Harry the rich kid’s a friend of his Who horns in on Mary Jane But to his great surprise it seems she prefers guys Who can kiss upside down in the rain
“With great power comes great responsibility” That’s the catch phrase of old Uncle Ben If you missed it, don’t worry, they’ll say the line Again and again and again
Oh, la la la, di de da La la, di di da da dom
Now Norman’s a billionare scientist Who never had time for his son But then something went screw and before you knew he Was trying to kill everyone
And he’s ridin’ around on that glider thing And he’s throwin’ that weird pumpkin bomb Yes, he’s wearin’ that dumb Power Rangers mask But he’s scarier without it on
Sling us a web, you’re the Spider-Man Sling us a web tonight ‘Cause you’re brave and you’re strong and so limber now But where’d you come up with those tights?
It’s a pretty sad day at the funeral Norman Osborn has bitten the dust And I heard Harry’s said he wants Spider-Man dead Aw, but his buddy Pete he can trust
Oh, and M.J. is all hot for Peter now Aw, but Peter, he just shuts her down Mary Jane, don’t you cry, you can give it a try Again when the sequal comes ’round
Oh, la la la, di de da La la, di di da da dumb
Sling us a web, you’re the Spider-Man Sling us a web tonight ‘Cause we all sure could use us a hero now And we think that you’ll do all right
Written: Graham Edwards / Lauren Christy / Avril Ramona Lavigne / David Scott Alspach/Al Yankovic
Album: Poodle Hat
Release: 2003
Parody: “Complicated” by Avril Lavigne
Genre: Pop/Punk
Poodle Hat finally breaks through as the final Weird Al album represented in the Top 100 with A Complicated song, which breaks into three separate stories. Some of the stories are silly, but a lot of fun.
Lyrics
Uh huh… extra cheese Uh huh, uh huh… save a piece for me
Pizza party at your house I went just to check it out 19 extra larges What a shame No one came
Just us eatin’ all alone You said, “Take the pizza home” “No sense lettin’ all this go to waste” So then I faced
Pizza all day And every day This cheese ’round the clock Is gettin’ me blocked And I sure don’t care For irregularity
Tell me Why’d you have to go and make me so constipated? ‘Cause right now I’d do anything to just get my bowels evacuated In the bathroom… I sit and I wait and I strain And I sweat and I clench and I feel the pain Oh, should I take laxatives or have my colon irrigated? No no no
I was feelin’ pretty down ‘Till my girlfriend came around We’re just so alike in every way I gotta say
In fact, I just thought I might Pop the question there that night I was kissing her so tenderly But woe is me
Who would have guessed Her family crest I’d suddely spy Tattooed on her thigh And son-of-a-gun It’s just like the one on me
Tell me How was I supposed to know we were both related? Believe me, if I knew she was my cousin we never would have dated What to do now? Should I go ahead and propose And get hitched and have kids with 11 toes And move to Alabama where that kind of thing is tolerated? No no no no no no no No no no no no no no No no no no no
I had so much on my mind I thought maybe I’d unwind Try out that new roller coaster ride And the guide
Said not to stand But that’s a demand That I couldn’t meet I got on my feet And stood up instead And knocked off my head, you see
Tell me Why’d I have to go and get myself decapitated? This really is a major inconvenience, oh man, I really hate it Such a drag, now… can’t eat, I can’t breathe, I can’t snore I can’t belch or yodel anymore Can’t spit or blow my nose or even read Sports Illustrated
Oh no Why’d I have to go and get myself all mutilated? (yeah, yeah) I gotta tell ya, life without a head kinda makes me irritated What a bummer Can’t blink, I can’t cough, I can’t sneeeze But my neck is enjoyin’ a pleasant breeze now Haven’t been the same since my head and I were separated No no no
Parody: “Under the Bridge” and “Give It Away” by Red Hot Chili Peppers
Written: Chad Smith / John Frusciante / Anthony Kiedis / Michael Balzary / Alfred Yankovic
Genre: Funk rock
This is another TV show that Al honors in song as this time it is the Flintstones. There are voice clips from the Flintstones on the song.
Lyrics
Sometimes, I feel like I need a vacation Sometimes, I feel like I wanna go to the city of cavemen, the city of Bedrock I’d be a Flintstone, now, I’ll tell you why
Oh Oh Oh!
Well, I’ve got, I’ve got a woman named, Wilma Well, I’ve got, I’ve got a baby named Pebbles Well, I’ve got, I’ve got a doggy named Dino We do a little bowling and we drink a little vino
Well, I’ve got a little buddy, Barney Rubble Got a neighbor by the name of Barney Rubble He’s a midget but, he makes a lot of trouble Doesn’t like to shave, he got caveman stubble
Me and Barney, loyal order water buffalo Lodge brothers, loyal order water buffalo There’s a handshake everybody gotta know How come grand Poo-Bah always gotta run the whole show?
Yabba-dabba-yabba-dabba-dabba do now Yabba-dabba-yabba-dabba-dabba do now Yabba-dabba-yabba-dabba-dabba do now I get by on all my prehistoric know-how
Betty and Barney got a baby, named, Bamm-Bamm Little Pebbles is his number one fan He’s the strongest toddler in the whole land Tear your arm off, if he’s shaking your hand
Got a car, gonna push it with my feet now Gonna take my family out to eat now Jumbo ribs at the drive-in can’t be beat now Made from brontosaurus, baby, not a moo-cow
Wanna chill with a saber tooth tiger Wear a loincloth, natural fiber Be the first rolling stone subscriber Got a pterodactyl for a windshield wiper
Yabba-dabba-yabba-dabba-dabba do now Yabba-dabba-yabba-dabba-dabba do now Yabba-dabba-yabba-dabba-dabba do now Don’t know what it means, but I say it anyhow
Wilma, I’m home! Start serving dinner And don’t spare the- Oh, no, no, no! Don’t Dino, don’t! Now take it easy, boy!
Lucky me, workin’ down in the gravel pit Movin’ rocks, on a big dinosaur I sit Mr. Slate gets mad, and he throws a fit Pull the birdie’s tail, everybody knows it’s time to quit
I realize I’m living in the Stone Age No fax, no cellular phone-age Pick my teeth with a dinosaur bone-age Liftin’ heavy boulders every day for my wage
Barney Rubble, laughin’ like a hyena Barney Rubble, what a little wiener! Where’s Wilma? Anybody seen her? Got a baby elephant vacuum cleaner
Yabba-dabba-yabba-dabba-dabba do now Yabba-dabba-yabba-dabba-dabba do now Yabba-dabba-yabba-dabba-dabba do now Yabba-dabba-yabba-dabba-dabba do now
Yabba-dabba-dabba do now Yabba-dabba-dabba do now Yabba-dabba-dabba do now Yabba-dabba-dabba do now
Yabba-dabba-dabba do now Yabba-dabba-dabba do now (E-yabba-dabba-do) Yabba-dabba-dabba do now Yabba-dabba-dabba do now
Yabba-dabba-dabba do now Yabba-dabba-dabba do now (E-yabba-dabba-do) Yabba-dabba-dabba do now Yabba-dabba-dabba do now
Written: Joe Perry / Mark Hudson / Steven Tyler/Al Yankovic
Genre: Hard rock
Weird Al has been well known in his appreciation of food. He has said many tiomes that he loves food because it has kept him alive. This is the opposite of that as he describes that food that has spent too many days (weeks?) in the refrigerator and has become something akin to a science experiment. In the same vein as George Carlin’s “Icebox Man,” “Livin’ in the Fridge” had a special appearance on The Weird Al Show.
Lyrics
There’s somethin’ weird in the fridge today I don’t know what it is Food I can’t recognize My roommate won’t throw a thing away I guess it’s probably his It looks like it’s alive
And livin’ in the fridge Livin’ in the fridge Livin’ in the fridge Livin’ in the fridge
There’s somethin’ gross in the fridge today It’s green and growin’ hair It’s been there since July If you can name the object In that baggie over there Then mister, you’re a better man than I
It’s livin’ in the fridge You can’t stop the mold from growin’ Livin’ in the fridge Can’t tell what it is at all Livin’ in the fridge You can’t stop the mold from growin’ Livin’ in the fridge
Tell me, do you think it should be carbon-dated Fumigated or cremated and buried at sea? You try to save a little bit of your home cookin’ Couple weeks later, got a scary-lookin’ specimen It always happens, my friend Again & again & again & again
Somethin’ stinks in the fridge today And it’s been rottin’ there all week It could be liver cake or woolly mammoth steak Well, maybe I should another peek
Livin’ in the fridge (You can’t stop the mold from growin’) Livin’ in the fridge (Can’t tell what it is at all) Livin’ in the fridge (You can’t stop the mold from growin’) Livin’ in the fridge Livin’ in the fridge (Don’t know what it is, don’t know what it is) Livin’ in the fridge (Don’t know what it is, don’t know what it is) Livin’ in the fridge Don’t know what it is at all Livin’ in the fridge, yeah
Extra voices: Tress MacNeille (“How ya doin’ Bernie?”) and Mary Kay Bergman (“For a rabbi!”)
Parody: “Pretty Fly for a White Guy” by the Offspring
Genre: Pop Punk/Comedy
Oy Vey! Lots of Yiddish phrases used in this song, which may not have aged as well as some of Al’s other songs. Still, this is a well done parody and is very funny.
Lyrics
Oy vey, oy vey! (How ya doin’, Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey! (How ya doin’, Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey! And all the goyim say I’m pretty fly for a rabbi
Meccha leccha hi, meccha hiney hiney ho
Our temple’s had a fair share of rabbis in the past But most of’em were nudniks and none of’em would last But our new guy’s real kosher, I think he’ll do the trick I tell ya, he’s to die for, he really knows his shtick
So how’s by you? Have you seen this Jew? Reads the Torah, does his own accounting too Working’ like a dog at the synagogue He’s there all day, he’s there all day
Just say “Vay is mir!” and he’ll kick into gear He’ll bring you lots of cheer and maybe bagels with some shmeer Just grab your yarmulka and Hey! Hey! Do that Hebrew thing!
Oy vey, oy vey! (How ya doin’, Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey! (How ya doin’, Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey! And all the goyim say I’m pretty fly (for a rabbi)
He shops at discount stores, not just any will suffice He has to find a bargain ’cause he won’t pay retail price He never acts meshugga and he’s hardly a schlemiel But if you want to haggle, oy, he’ll make you such a deal!
People used to scoff, now they say “Mazel tov!” He’s such a macher ’cause he works his tuchis off Yeah, he keeps his cool and teaches shul What’s not to like? What’s not to like?
Oh high holy days, you know he prays and prays And he never eats pastrami on white bread with mayonnaise Put on your yarmulka and Hey! Hey! Do that Hebrew thing!
When he’s doing a Bar Mitzvah, now that you shouldn’t miss He’ll always shlep on down for a wedding or a briss They say he’s got a lot of chutzpah, he’s really quite hip The parents pay the moyl and he gets to keep the tip!
Oy vey, oy vey! (How ya doin’, Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey! (How ya doin’, Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey!
Meccha leccha hi, meccha meccha cholly ho
He’s doin’ well, I gotta kvell The yentas love him, even shicksas think he’s swell Show up at his home, he says, “Shalom!” And “Have some cake, you want some cake?”
Yeah he calls the shots, we really love him lots Oy gevalt, I’m so ferklempt that I could plotz! So grab your yarmulka The one you got for Hanukah
Let’s put on our yarmulkas and Hey! Hey! Do that Hebrew thing!
Style Pastiche: Late 90s third-wave sks music like Reel Big Fish and The Mighty Mighty Bosstones
A good example of Al singing really fast. You haven’t seen anything yet though. This is a real gem off Running With Scissors and is one of the funnier originals on the album. KILL THEM!
Lyrics
Aquarius There’s travel in your future When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus Fill that void in your pathetic life By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day
Pisces Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus You are the true Lord of the dance No matter what those idiots at work say
Aries The look on your face will be priceless When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep
Taurus You will never find true happiness What you gonna do, cry about it? The stars predict tomorrow you’ll wake up Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep
That’s your horoscope for today (that’s your horoscope for today) That’s your horoscope for today That’s your horoscope for today (that’s your horoscope for today) That’s your horoscope for today (that’s your horoscope for today)
Gemini Your birthday party will be ruined Once again by your explosive flatulence Your love life will run into trouble When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest
Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver’s test
Leo Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt And staple it to your bosses face, oh no Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik
Virgo All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you Expect a big surprise today When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick
That’s your horoscope for today (that’s your horoscope for today) That’s your horoscope for today That’s your horoscope for today (that’s your horoscope for today) That’s your horoscope for today
Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that The relative position of the planets and the stars Could have a special deep significance or meaning That exclusively applies to only you
But, let me give you my assurance that These forecasts and predictions are all based on Solid, scientific, documented evidence So you would have to be some kind of moron Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true
Where was I?
Libra A big promotion is just around The corner for someone much more talented than you Laughter is the very best medicine Remember that when your appendix bursts next week
Scorpio, get ready for an Unexpected trip When you fall screaming from an open window Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak
Sagittarius All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them) Take down all those naked pictures of Ernest Borgnine, you’ve got hanging in your den
Capricorn The stars say that you’re an exciting and wonderful person But, you know they’re lying If I were you, I’d lock my doors and windows And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again
That’s your horoscope for today (that’s your horoscope for today) That’s your horoscope for today That’s your horoscope for today (that’s your horoscope for today) That’s your horoscope for today
That’s your horoscope for today (that’s your horoscope for today) That’s your horoscope for today That’s your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay) That’s your horoscope for today
I was always a fan of Charles Nelson Reilly, specifically from the Match Game. I remember niot knowing what the reference of CNR was when I first got Alpocalypse. This was one of my favorite videos released for these songs.
Lyrics
Charles Nelson Reilly was a mighty man The kind of man you’d never disrespect He stood eight feet tall, wore glasses And he had a third nipple on the back of his neck He ate his own weight in coal, and excreted diamonds everyday He could throw you down a flight of stairs But you still would love him anyway Yeah, you know you’d love him anyway, oh
Charles Nelson Reilly won the Tour de France With two flat tires and a missing chain He trained a rattlesnake to do his laundry I’m telling you the man was insane He could rip out your beating heart And show it to you right before you died Everyday he’d make the host of Match Game Give him a piggyback ride Yeah, two hour piggyback ride, giddy up Gene
The ninja warrior, master of disguise He could melt your brain with his laser-beam eyes, oh yeah Oh yeah He had his own line at the DMV He made sweet, sweet love to a manatee Oh yeah Oh yeah, that was something to see, I tell ya
Charles Nelson Reilly sold his toenail clippings As a potent aphrodisiac He ran a four minute mile blindfolded With an engine block strapped to his back He could eat more frozen waffles Then any other man I know Once he fell off the Chrysler building And he barely even stubbed his toe Had a tiny little scratch on his toe Didn’t even hurt
Charles Nelson Reilly figured out cold fusion But he never ever told a soul I’ve seen the man unhinge his jaw And swallow a Volkswagen whole He’d bash your face in with a shovel If you didn’t treat him like a star You could spit at the wind, or tug at Superman’s cape But Lord knows you don’t mess around with CNR
Written: Amethyst Amelia Kelly / Charlotte Emma Aitchison / George Astasio / Jason Andrew Pebworth / John Turner / Jonathan Christopher Shave / Kurtis Isaac Mckenzie /Al Yankovic
Parody: Iggy Azalea’s “Fancy” (feat. Charli XCX)
We enter the top 50 of our countdown with this parody of “Fancy.” The video was one of the eight released daily for Mandatory Fun.
Lyrics
First things first, I’m a craftsman (craftsman) Remodelling is my only passion (it’s my passion) And I’m the greatest in the business Want referrals, yo My clientèle will bear you witness (right, right) I can help when your door jamb sticks (heh?) There is nothing in the world I can’t fix (yeah) I do tiles, I do stone, I do bricks Call me, I’ll come rushing over with my bag of tricks (bag of tricks) Where you go when your disposal is rusted (rusted) Termite problem making you disgusted (yuck) When your front window is busted (hey, hey, hey) Just one name that’s always trusted
I’m so handy, you already know I’ll fix your plumbing when your toilets overflow I’m so handy, I’ll bring you up to code When your dishwasher’s about to explode
Now you see that your furnace is needing some service I’m fully bonded, no need to be nervous Perhaps you would like a new counter Formica Maybe I’ll hook up your dish washer combo dryer But all your pipes are antique Your water pressure’s too weak You got an attic full of dry rot Because your roof sprung a leak Your fridge is starting to reek Your hardwood floors really squeak But don’t you worry I’ll just show you my amazing technique Now let me glue that, glue that and screw that, screw that Any random chore you got, well I can do that, do that Or maybe I’ll just rewire your house for fun I got 99 problems but a switch ain’t one
I’m so handy, everyone says so I’ll grout your bathroom, resurface your patio I’m so handy, I’m the guy to know When your leaf blower doesn’t blow-oh-oh-oh
Patch the drywall, clean your gutters and mow the lawn Make that phone call, I’ll install anything you want Yeah, check my big staple gun, my socket wrenches are second to none I won’t quit ’til I’m done, don’t even care if I hammer my thumb (ow)
Still rocking my screwdriver Got the whole world thinking I’m MacGyver Your heating bills are shocking I can solve that with some duct tape and some caulking Your house is a disaster, huh? Need a guy whose a master with the plaster, huh? Let me be your stripper Taking off lacquer, no one does it quicker
I’m so handy, you already know I’ll beat all price quotes, my hourly rates are low I’m so handy, you should call this pro I’m in the phone book and se habla español
Video featured: Aisha Tyler, Margaret Cho, Eric Stonestreet, Jack Black, and Kristen Schaal
Lyrics
It might seem crazy, wearing stripes and plaid I Instagram every meal I’ve had All my used liquor bottles are on display We can go to see a show but I’ll make you pay
Wear my belt with suspenders and sandals with my socks (Because I’m tacky) Got some new glitter Uggs and lovely pink sequined Crocs (Because I’m tacky) Never let you forget some favor I did for you (Because I’m tacky) If you’re okay with that, then, you might just be tacky, too
I meet some chick, ask her this and that Like ‘Are you pregnant girl, or just really fat?’ (what?) Well, now I’m dropping names almost constantly That’s what Kanye West keeps telling me, here’s why
Wear my Ed Hardy shirt with fluorescent orange pants (Because I’m tacky) Got my new resume it’s printed in Comic Sans (Because I’m tacky) Think it’s fun threatening waiters with a bad Yelp review (Because I’m tacky) If you think that’s just fine, then, you’re probably tacky, too
Bring me shame, can’t nothing Bring me shame, I never know why Bring me shame, can’t nothing Bring me shame, I said Bring me shame, can’t nothing Bring me shame, it’s pointless to try Bring me shame, can’t nothing Bring me shame, I said
43 Bumper Stickers and a YOLO license plate (Because I’m tacky) Bring along my coupon book whenever I’m on a date (Because I’m tacky) Practice my twerking moves in line at the DMV (Because I’m tacky) Took the whole bowl of restaurant mints. Hey, it said they’re free (Because I’m tacky) I get drunk at the bank And take off my shirt, at least (Because I’m tacky) I would live-tweet a funeral, take selfies with the deceased (Because I’m tacky) If I’m bit by a zombie, I’m probably not telling you (Because I’m tacky) If you don’t think that’s bad, guess what, then you’re tacky, too
Writer: Scott Storch / Ray Charles / Carl Allen Sturken / Curtis James Jackson / Chad Hugo / Pharrell Williams / Brandon Flowers / Brian Burton / Robert Hardy / Kanye West / Jaime Gomez / David Jolicoeur / Trevor Smith / Damon Albarn / Scott Weiland / Saul Hudson / Renald J. Richard / Rivers Cuomo / Ray Anthony / Eric Judy / Michael Fratantuno / Thomas Calloway / Terence Yoshiaki Graves / Vada J. Nobles / Dann Michael Gallucci / Christopher Anthony Martin / Nicholas Mccarthy / Ronnie Vannucci / Mark Stoermer / Paul Robert Thomson / Berryman Guy Rupert / Buckland Jonathan Mark / Alisha Quiona Brooks / Champion William / George Pajon Jr. / David G Kushner / Isaac K Brock / Calvin Cordozar Broadus Jr. / Terry Rendal / Al Yankovic / Thomas Werner / Matthew William Sorum / Alexander Paul Kaprano Huntley / Alla Pineda / Christopher Jamie Hewlett / Dave Brent Flowers / Duff Rose Mckagen / Evan A. Rodgers
Album: Straight Outta Lynwood
Released: 2006
Style: Polka/Comedy
Songs: “The Chicken Dance,” “Let’s Get it Started,” “Take Me Out,” “Beverly Hills,” “Speed of Sound,” “Float On,” “Feel Good Inc.,” “Don’t Cha,” “Somebody Told Me,” “Slither,” “Candy Shop,” “Drop It Like It’s Hot,” “Pon de Replay,” “Gold Digger,” and “The Nina Bobina Polka.”
Lyrics
Let’s get it started! (Ha!) Let’s get it started! (In here!) Let’s get it started! (Ha!) Let’s get it started! (In here!) Let’s get it started! (Ha!) Let’s get it started! (In here!) And the bass keeps runnin’, runnin’ And runnin’, runnin’ And runnin’, runnin’, And runnin’, runnin’, I say, don’t you know You say, you don’t know I say… Take me out! I say, you don’t show Don’t move, time is slow I say… (gunshot) Take me out! Beverly Hills, that’s where I wanna be! (Gimme! Gimme!) Living in Beverly Hills Beverly Hills, rollin’ like a celebrity (Gimme! Gimme!) Living in Beverly Hills And birds go flying at the speed of sound To show you how it all began Birds came flying from the underground If you could see it, then you’d understand And we’ll all float on, okay And we’ll all float on All right already, we’ll all float on Now don’t you worry, we’ll all float on All right! Feel good! Feel good! Feel good! Don’t cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me? Don’t cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me? Don’t cha? Don’t cha? Don’t cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me? Don’t cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me? Don’t cha? Don’t cha? Don’t cha, don’t cha, don’t cha? Somebody told me You had a boyfriend Who looked like a girlfriend That I had in February of last year It’s not confidential Well, I got potential A rushin’ and rushin’ around Hey! Hey! Hey! I’ll take you to the candy shop I’ll let you lick a lollipop Go ‘head, girl, don’t you stop Keep goin’ ’til you hit the spot Whoa! (We’ll take you to the candy shop) Yeah! (For one taste o’ what we got) Uh-huh! (We’ll have you spending all you got) Come on! (Keep goin’ ’til you hit the spot) Whoa! When the pimp’s in the crib, ma Drop it like it’s hot Drop it like it’s hot Drop it like it’s hot When the pimp’s gonna get at you Drop it like it’s hot Drop it like it’s hot Come, Mr. DJ, song pon de replay (Come, Mr. DJ, won’t you turn the music up?) All the gal pon the dance floor, wantin’ some more, what (Come, Mr. DJ, won’t you turn the music up?) Hey, mister Please, Mr. DJ Tell me if you hear me Turn the music up! She take my money (She take my money) When I’m in need (When I’m in need) Yes, she’s a triflin’ friend indeed (friend indeed) Well, she’s a gold digger Way over town (way over town) That digs on me Hey! Hey! Now, I ain’t sayin’ she’s a gold digger But she ain’t messin’ with no broke, broke Now, I ain’t sayin’ she’s a gold digger But she ain’t messin’ with no broke, broke Get down, girl, go ‘head, get down (I gotta leave) Get down, girl, go ‘head, get down (I gotta leave) Get down, girl, go ‘head, get down (I gotta leave) Get down, girl, go ‘head! But I ain’t sayin’ she’s a Gold, gold digger Gold, gold digger Gold, gold digger Hey!
Album: George Fest: A Night to Celebrate the Music of George Harrison
Style: pop/rock/uptempo soul
Performed: George Fest tribute concert on September 28, 2014
The first song on this list that was not written (at least in part) by Weird Al. Weird Al performed this at the George Fest tribute concert at the Fonda Theater in Los Angeles. Al was one of several other performers covering tracks from the former Beatle. Al also sang on the version of The Traveling Wilburys’ song, “Handle With Care.” “What is Life” was one of my favorite Georege Harrison songs and seeing the live performance by Weird Al was a great addition to it for me.
It is a straight cover of the song, without any comedic undertones.
Lyrics
What I feel, I can’t say But my love is there for you anytime of day But if it’s not love that you need Then I’ll try my best to make everything succeed
Tell me, what is my life without your love Tell me, who am I without you, by my side
What I know, I can do If I give my love now to everyone like you But if it’s not love that you need Then I’ll try my best to make ev’rything succeed
Tell me, what is my life without your love Tell me, who am I without you, by my side Tell me, what is my life without your love Tell me, who am I without you, by my side
What I feel, I can’t say But my love is there for you any time of day But if it’s not love that you need Then I’ll try my best to make everything succeed
Tell me, what is my life without your love Tell me, who am I without you, by my side Oh tell me, what is my life without your love Tell me, who am I without you, by my side
What is my life without your love Tell me, who am I without you, by my side
[fade:] Oh tell me, what is my life without your love Tell me who am I without you by my side
As I was going through the list of songs on the Top 100, I discovered a mistake in the list. Instead of cutting a song that absolutely deserves its spot on the list, I decided to make this special exception for Weird Al and make it a Top 100 with 101 songs in it. Thus, Polka Power becomes the first ever 1/2 entry on our Daily Countdown lists and the only Daily Countdown Two-a-day.
Title: “Polka Power”
Album: Running With Scissors
Released: 1989
Genre: Polka/Comedy
Songs: “The Twelfth Street Rag,” “Wannabe,” “Flagpole Sitta,” “Ghetto Supastar (That Is What You Are),” “Everybody (Backstreet’s Back),” “Walkin’ On the Sun,” “Intergalactic,” “Tubthumping,” “Ray of Light,” “Push,” “Semi-Charmed Life,” “The Dope Show,” “MMMBop,” “Sex and Candy,” “Closing Time,” and “W.A.Y. Moby Polka.”
Lyrics
Yeah, well, I’ll tell ya what I want, what I really really want (So tell us what ya want, what ya really really want) I’ll tell ya what I want, what I really really want (So tell us what ya want, what ya really really want) I want to ha, I want to ha, I want to ha, I want to ha I want to really, really, really, want to zigga zigga, ah! If you want to be my lover, you gotta get with my friends Make it last forever, friendship never ends If you want to be my lover, you have got to give Taking is too easy, but that’s the way it is. Hey!
I’m not sick, but I’m not well. And I’m so hot, ’cause I’m in hell. I’m not sick, but I’m not well. And it’s a sin to live so well.
Ghetto superstar, that is what you are, Coming from afar, reaching for the stars. Run away with me, to another place We can rely on each other, uh huh From one corner to another, uh huh
Everybody (yeah) Rock your body (yeah) Everybody Rock your body right. Backstreet’s back, all right! All right!
So don’t delay, act now, supplies are running out But now, if you’re still alive, six to eight years to arrive And if you follow, there may be a tomorrow But if the offer’s shun, you might as well be walking on the sun Might as well be walking on the sun!
I get knocked down, but I get up again, You’re never gonna keep me down I get knocked down, but I get up again You’re never gonna keep me down I get knocked down, but I get up again You’re never gonna keep me down I get knocked down, but I get up again You’re never gonna keep me down
Quicker than a ray of light Quicker than a ray of light Quicker than a ray of light
I want to push you around, well I will, well I will I want to push you down, well I will, well I will I want to take you for granted I want to take you for granted Yeah, yeah, well I will
I want something else To get me through this semi-charmed kinda life, baby baby I want something else I’m not listening when you say good-bye.
There’s lots of pretty, pretty ones That want to get you high But all the pretty, pretty ones Will leave you low and blow your mind We’re all stars now in the dope show We’re all stars now in the dope show
Mmmbop, do floppa do wop Do be dop ah Do wap, do zap ah, do Yeah-ee yeah Mmmbop, do be ‘zap ah, do wop Do be dop ah Do wop, doom zap ah, do
I smell sex and candy here Who’s that lounging in my chair? Who’s that casting devious stares in my direction? Mama, this surely is a dream Yeah, yeah mama, this surely is a dream Dig it, yeah mama, this surely is
Closing time One last call for alcohol So finish your whiskey or beer Closing time You don’t have to go home But you can’t stay here I know who I want to take me home I know who I want to take me home I know who I want to take me home Take us home.
Released: As a theme song for his 1997 Saturday morning children’s TV show.
Album: Running With Scissors
Genre: pop/rock
This fell into the top 20 of the previous list, Top 100 TV Show Themes. When I first was creating that list, I almost didn’t think about it as a theme because it was more of a song than theme. Al has used this as an intro to his concerts since.
Lyrics
Oh, this is a story ’bout a guy named Al And he lived in a sewer with his hamster pal But the sanitation workers really didn’t approve So he packed up his accordion and had to move
To a city in Ohio where he lived in a tree And he worked in a nasal decongestant factory And he played on the company bowling team And every single night he had a strange, recurring dream
Where he was wearing leiderhosen in a vat of sour cream But that’s really not important to the story
Well, the very next year he met a dental hygenist With a spatula tattoed on her arm (on her arm) But he didn’t keep in touch, then he lost her number Then he got himself a job on a tater tot farm
And he spent his life savings on a split-level cave 20 miles below the surface of the Earth (of the Earth) And he really makes a mighty fine jelly bean and pickle sandwich For what it’s worth
Then one day Al was in the forest, trying to get a tan When he heard the tortured screaming of a funny little man He was caught in a bear trap and Al set him free And the guy that he rescued was as grateful as can be
And it turns out he’s a big-shot producer on TV So he gave Al a contract and what do you know? Now he’s got his own very Weird Al Show!
Performed: “Weird Al” Yankovic and Tress MacNeille
One of my earliest introductions to Weird Al. I remember this song from not only the Dr. Demento Show, but also the morning radio station I would listen to, KIIK 104 with Spike at the Mike.
Lyrics
Hey Lucy, I’m home
Oh Ricky, you’re so fine You’re so fine, you blow my mind Hey Ricky, hey Ricky
Oh Lucy, you’re so fine You’re so fine, you blow my mind Hey Lucy, hey Lucy
Oh Ricky, you’re so fine You play your bongos all the time Hey Ricky, hey Ricky
Oh Lucy, you’re so fine How I love to hear you whine Hey Lucy
Hey Ricky You always play your conga drums, you think you got the right You wake up little Ricky in the middle of the night Stop shakin’ your maraccas now and just turn out the light, Ricky
I’m sick of Fred and Ethel always coming over here ‘Cause Fred eats all our pretzel sticks, and then he spills his beer Why don’t you serve your casserole and make them disappear, Lucy?
Oh, Ricky, what’s a girl like me supposed to do? You really drive me wild when you sing your babalu
Oh Lucy, you’re so dizzy, don’t you have a clue Well, here’s to you, Lucy I love you too, Lucy, too Lucy, let’s babalu, Lucy
Hey, Ricky You’re always playing at the Club, you never let me go I’m begging, and I’m pleading, but you always tell me no Oh, please, honey, please let me be in your show, Ricky
You always burn the roast and you drop the dishes too You iron my new shirt, and you burn a hole right through You’re such a crazy redhead, I just don’t know what to do, Lucy
Oh, Ricky What a pity, don’t you understand That every day’s a rerun and the laughter’s always canned
Oh, Lucy I’m the Latin leader of the band So here’s to you, Lucy Let’s babalu, Lucy, too Lucy Everybody rumba!
EYG- Embrace Your Geekness 