Parody: “You Got It (The Right Stuff)” by New Kids on the Block.
Written: Maurice Starr/Al Yankovic
Style: Pop/Boy Band
There have been plenty of original songs that Weird Al parodied that I have either did not like or did not know. You Got It (The Right Stuff) is a perfect example of a song that I disliked that Weird Al made better with his parody.
And what can be a better topic for a song than the white stuff in an Oreo cookie?
Lyrics
The white stuff The white stuff
The first one was a sweet one Second one was a blast Soon I finished off the bag, ate ’em up real fast You can see ’em in my teeth Tell it when I talk Had so many my pancreas just went into shock
I love the white stuff, baby In the middle of an Oreo I love the white stuff, baby It’s the most delicious thing I know
I’ve had a zillion or two In my life, they’re so right My teeth are all rotted clear through But who cares? What else am I supposed to do?
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Oreo Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the white stuff Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Oreo What’s in the middle? The white stuff
The first time that I tried it Got a big sugar buzz Nothing gets me high as that sandwhich cookie does But I love the filling most I rub it on my roast Mix it in with my coffee and spread it on my toast
I love the white stuff, baby In the middle of an Oreo I love the white stuff, baby Take some with me everywhere I go
Might get a pimple or two Well, so what? It’s all right Now Twinkies and Ding Dongs won’t do All I need… You know what it is
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Oreo Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the white stuff Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Oreo Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the white stuff Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Oreo What’s in the middle? The white stuff
Parody: The idea was a style parody of “Stars on 45” from 1918.
Songs in polka: “Jocko Homo,” “Smoke on the Water,” “Sex (I’m A…),” “Hey Jude,” “L.A. Woman,” “In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida,” “Hey Joe,” “Burning Down the House,” “Hot Blooded,” “Bubbles in the Wine,” “Every Breath You Take,” “Should I Stay or Should I Go,” “Jumpin’ Jack Flash,” “My Generation.”
Polka on 45 was the first polka medley on a long list of polkas done by Weird Al. This is the second polka to appear in the Top 100, following #99 The Hot Rocks Polka. The polka medleys are some of my favorite things done by Al and they only continued to get better.
Lyrics
They tell us that we lost our tails Evolving up from little snails I say it’s all just wind and sails Are we not men? We are Devo Are we not men? D-E-V-O
Smoke on the water And fire in the sky Smoke on the water
I’m a boy (I’m a man) well, I’m your mother (I’m a man) I’m a one-night stand (I’m a man) am I bi? (I’m a man) I’m your slave (I’m a man) I’m a little girl when we make love together
Hey, hey, hey! Jude, don’t make it bad Take a sad song and make it better Remember to let her into your heart Then you can start to make it Better, better, better, better, better, better, yeah
L.A. woman You’re my woman Got my mojo risin’ Mr. Mojo Risin’ Hey!
In-a-gadda-da-vida, honey Don’t you know that I love you? In-a-gadda-da-vida, baby Don’t you know that I’ll always be true?
Hey, Joe, where you goin’ with that gun in your hand? Hey, Joe, where you goin’ with that gun in your hand? Gonna shoot my old lady Caught her messin’ ’round with another man
Yodel-ay-ee, yodel-ay-he-hoo, yodel-ay-ee, yodel-ay-he-hoo Yodel-ay-ee, yodel-ay-he-hoo, yodel-ay he-hoo Yodel-ay-ee, yodel-ay-he-hoo, yodel-ay-ee, yodel-ay-he-hoo I’m an ordinary guy burnin’ down the house
I’m hot-blooded, check it and see Got a fever of a 103 Come on, baby, do you do more than dance? I’m hot-blooded, hot-blooded
Every breath you take Every move you make Every bond you break, every step you take I’ll be watchin’ you
Darling, you gotta let me know Should I stay or should I go? If you say that you are mine I’ll be here ’til the end of time But you gotta let me know, whoa, whoa, whoa Should I stay or should I go?
But it’s all right now, in fact, it’s a gas But it’s all right, Jumpin’ Jack Flash, it’s a gas, gas, gas
People try to put us down (talkin’ ’bout my generation) Just because we get around (talkin’ ’bout my generation) Things they do look awful c-c-cold (talkin’ ’bout my generation) Hope I die before I get old (talkin’ ’bout my generation) This is my generation (talkin’ ’bout my generation) This is my generation, baby (talkin’ ’bout my generation) (Talkin’ ’bout my generation) My, my, my, my, my, my generation (my generation) Well, I’m talkin’ ’bout my g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-generation Hey!
It was graduation day for Alice and the emotions are all over the place for poor Jimmy, with his father departing for a deep sea fishing trip instead of attending graduation, Paul getting ready to move to Connecticut and the fact that Alice is graduating is really crushing Jimmy’s spirit.
Jason Segal gave one of his best performances of the series in this episode as he confronted Paul about a myriad of issues, some of which were directed toward Paul and others that were directed toward his own father. It was devastating to see Jimmy rip into Paul like he did, especially since a lot of the anger was actually directed to his father and his childhood trauma, the fact that everyone was leaving him, and that he was feeling alone.
Harrison Ford has been brilliant in this series, and this episode was no exception. He was so subtle throughout, but you could tell how much Jimmy’s attack affected him. He sat in his home, waiting for the car to take him to Connecticut, and you can see how much he was suffering from the rejection of Jimmy, who Paul had invited for a goodbye breakfast.
The line: “I get it now. I’m not as important to you as you are to me. I just feel stupid it took me that long to realize it. I’m just not that sensitive, Paul. I’ll survive” dropped by Jimmy was like a dagger and put in words they way that Jimmy was feeling.
This was the penultimate episode of season three, but man did it feel like a finale. Everyone was finding their path over the next several months, and Jimmy was there all on his own.
It makes me worried for Jimmy as his mental health seems to have taken a huge back step from the positive areas that it had reached since the loss of Tia.
One more episode of the season next week. The finale should be fire.
One time I was in the checkout line Behind Steven Seagal Once I’m pretty sure Mr. Jonah Hill Was in the very next bathroom stall My best friend’s brother Well, he was an extra in Wayne’s World 2 My neighbour’s baby sitter Dated three of the guys in Motley Crue I swear Jack Nicholson Looked right at me at a Laker’s game
I got a lame Lame claim to fame
Check it out, I bought a second hand toaster From a guy who says he knows Brad Pitt I got me an email from the prince of Nigeria Well, he sure sounded legit My sister used to take piano lessons From the second cousin of Ralph Nader Last year I threw up in an elevator Next to Christian Slater Well guess what, my birthday and Kim Kardashian’s Are exactly the same
I got a lame Lame claim to fame A really lame Lame claim to fame
Once at a party, my dentist accidentally Sneezed on Russell Crowe I posted first in the comments On a YouTube video I tried to sit by Steve Buscemi But he told me this seat’s taken I know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy Who know a guy who knows a guy who know Kevin Bacon
I had a car that used to belong To Cuba Gooding Jr.’s uncle A friend of mine in high school Had jury duty with Art Garfunkel One time I was staying in the same hotel As Zooey Deschanel I used the same napkin dispenser As Steve Carell at a Taco Bell Well I don’t mean to brag but Paul Giamatti’s plumber knows me by name
I got a lame Lame claim to fame A really lame Lame claim to fame I’m talking lame Lame claim to fame A really really really lame Lame claim to fame
Fact: Background vocals were provided by Lisa Popeil, the daughter of Sam Popeil, who this song was about.
Lyrics
I need a vegematic! I need a pocket fisherman! I need a handy appliance That’ll scramble an egg while it’s still inside its shell! (Operators are standing by. How does that make you feel?) Help me. Mr. Popeil!
I wanna shine some pennies! I wanna mend some leather! I wanna Krazy-glue my head to the bottom of a big steel girder! (Please, no c.o.d.’s. Don’t miss out on this deal.) Ah, help me. Mr. Popeil!
Help me. Mr. Popeil! Mr. Popeil! Mr. Popeil!
It slices. it dices. Look at that tomato! You could even cut a tin can with it, But you wouldn’t want to!
Mr. Popeil, I’m in trouble. Need your assistance on the double. Oh no! now how am I gonna make My old vinyl car top look like new? Mr. Popeil! Tell me, what am I s’posed to do?
Mr. Popeil! Mr. Popeil!
But wait, there’s more! It’s not sold in any store! (Now how much would you pay?) Don’t answer yet, Just look what else you get! (Now how much would you pay?) If you order today, You get a ginsu knife and a smokeless ashtray! (Now how much would you pay?) Now how much would you pay? Mr. Popeil, Mr. Popeil. Mr. Popeil, Mr. Popeil. Mr. Popeil, Mr. Popeil. Mr. Popeil, Mr. Popeil.
Make me buy a garden weasel! Make me buy a bamboo steamer! Make me take advantage Of this amazing tv offer! (Call our toll-free number, We’ll make you such a deal.) Aw, help me! Mr. Popeil. I want it! (Mr. Popeil.) well, I need it! (Mr. Popeil.) I got to got to got to have it! Mr. Popeil! Mr. Popeil! Hey!
This is a song that is famously about music that bugs some people. There are mentions of Donny and Marie, Barry Manilow, The Bee Gees etc. But above them all was the Achy Breaky Heart by Billy Ray Cyrus which inspired the whole song.
Lyrics
You can torture me With Donnie & Marie You can play some Barry Manilow Or you can play some schlock Like New Kids On The Block Or any Village People song you know Or play Vanilla Ice Hey, you can play him twice And you can play the Bee Gees any day But Mr. DJ, please I’m beggin’ on my knees I just can’t take no more of Billy Ray
Don’t play that song That “Achy Breaky” song The most annoying song I know And if you play that song That “Achy Breaky” song I might blow up my radio, ooo…
You can clear the room By playind Debbie Boon Or crank your Abba records until dawn Oh, I can even hear Slim Whitman or Zamfir Don’t mind a Yoko Ono marathon Or play some Tiffany On 8-track or CD Or scrape your fingernails across the board Or tie me to a chair And kick me down the stairs Just please don’t play that stupid song no more
Don’t play that song That “Achy Breaky” song You know I hate that song a bunch And if you play that song That nauseating song It might just make me lose my lunch, oh-
Don’t play that song That “Achy Breaky” song I think it’s driving me insane Oh, please don’t play that song That irritating song I’d rather have a pitchfork in my brain
Don’t play that song That “Achy Breaky” song The most annoying song I know And if you play that song That “Achy Breaky” song I might blow up my radio, ooo-woo
My 8th grade classes just read Walt Whitman’s “Oh Captain, My Captain.” I love that poem as it used an extended metaphor to talk about Abraham Lincoln and his death after the Civil War ended.
So I assigned my students a poem to write. They were to write an elegy, which, according to the Oxford Dictionary, is a poem of serious reflection, typically a lament for the dead.
I decdied that I wanted to write a poem too. I chose Robin Williams because how impactful he was to my life. I remember where I was when I heard the news… I was at a movie theater watching a live premiere of the movie “The Giver.” The news hit like a sledgehammer to my gut.
I wrote this poem I titled “An Elegy for the Clown” and I really love how it came out. I wanted to share it here.
An Elegy for the Clown
It was as if it happened yesterday.
Awaiting the curtain to be drawn
An atmosphere of electricity crackled away
Signaling the debut of a new dawn.
……….. A sudden cry came from far and wide
……….. Divulging that our clown had died
*
The circus was overwhelmed by the rain
Pounding upon the souls of the grieving
A painted-on smile obscured his pain
The facade of facepaint deceiving.
…………The fans beneath the big-top cried
…………Discovering that our clown had died
*
The clown was a master of his craft
Perfromances unlike but a few
We laughed, we laughed, we laughed, we laughed
Every act, every joke wholeheartedly through.
……………The tears of his peers flowed as they tried
……………To understand why our clown had died.
*
Time after time, our clown changed his face
To therapist, nanny, DJ, or genie.
Make-up morphed him into each role he’d embrace
Magically even more than Harry Houdini.
…………….. Each role a bandage; make-up applied.
……………..Leading to the reason why our clown died
*
They say pain and loss subsides over time
Good days, laughter, memories of him.
His acting, his improv and even his mime,
Can push aside feelings of sadness or grim.
………..To clowns, young and old, an inspiration bona fide.
Written: Young MC/Matt Dike/Michael Ross/Al Yankovic
Album: UHF
Released: 1989
Genre: rap/comedy
Parody: “Wild Thing” by Tone Loc (Weird Al’s first parody of a rap song)
Weird Al has an affinity for classic TV shows, as he has done songs about the Beverly Hillbillies and The Brady Bunch among others. This song is a spoof on the TV show Gilligan’s Island.
Lyrics
Met this fine young thing At the local Circle K She made a date for a half past eight And I said, “What the hey?”
So I journeyed to her crib And I let myself inside That chick was slouched down on the couch I think her brain was fried
Couldn’t figure it out She wouldn’t even look at me Then I saw her eyes, she was hypnotized Cold glued to her TV
“Hey, what’s your problem baby doll Let’s have a little fling” She said, “Hey you fool, now just be cool I’m watchin’ that Gilligan’s Isle thing”
Isle thing Isle thing
Watchin’ all night Musta been a marathon I was bummin’, those shows kept comin’ Here’s what was goin’ on
These Castaways were stranded On this island out at the sea One of them called Gilligan So let’s name him after me
He’d mess up every rescue Man, that first mate was illin’ If I was one of those Castaways I think I’d probably kill him
Just about that time Telephone began to ring She said, “Just let it, my machine’ll get We’re watchin’ the Gilligan’s Isle thing
Isle thing She loves that Gilligan’s Isle thing Isle thing Please, baby, baby, please
I like the professor He always saves their butts He could build a nuclear reactor From a clouple’ of coconuts
She said, “That guy’s a genius” I shook my head and laughed I said, “If he’s so fly, they tell me why He couldn’t build a lousy raft”
And while we’re on the subject I’ll tell you one thing for sure Those homeboys brought an awful lot For just a three hour tour
Then her mom came in the room It was kind of embarrasing She said, “Hey you two, I was once like you And I loved that Gilligan’s Isle thing”
I had speculated after the third episode that Anna’s mother, Alice, was the killer and that she had killed Rachel in a state of confusion. When the second body showed up, I figured that my twist suspect was innocent.
Nope. I was right. Alice was the killer. However, I was wrong in that she did it in a state of confusion. No, she planned it out and executed all three of the killings as retribution for an attack that Anna suffered at her 16th birthday party when she was raped by a bunch of men and these girls just sat back and watched. The whole dementia thing was faked as part of her plan to get away with the murders.
She confesses in a letter she wrote to Anna, who was pregnant and had reunited with Jack.
For awhile, the show hinted that maybe the killer was actually Kathryn, and I was guessing that she had faked her own death, but that was also a theory that was quickly dropped in this finale. Turned out that Lexy Jones was actually Kathryn. Lexy and her husband was the patsies here because Alice was planning on framing Lexy for the murders, but Priya shot her before that could happen. Poor Richard the camera guy got totally f-ed up during this whole thing, and he did not do anything,
It always felt as if there was something missing. I stated it last week that it felt as if there were some pieces that did not fit together and that I was hoping that the show would fill those gaps in in the finale. It sure did that.
The video tape that Alice found that showed the assault on Anna at her 16th birthday, and it inspired her to go after the others. That twist made a lot of the missing gaps go away. At first, I was not sure about the twist, but as it continued on, I found it to be a neat way to wrap up the limited series.
I enjoyed the six episodes and it does feel like it was a satisfying conclusion to an intense series. I am not sure how I feel about the ending as things are left fairly up in the air. And poor Richard…
So with that, another series during the Sunday Morning Sidewalk comes to a close. Next week, we start the new series, the Game of Thrones prequel series, A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms on HBO Max. I never watched Game of Thrones, but I heard that you do not need to have seen the original to enjoy this show. I hope they are right.
There was a feeling of finality in this episode of Shrinking.
Paul convinces Gabby to come back to work and then offers her the practice once again. However, he did not call her out on ditching her dream of setting up a trauma center. Something that Liz came to yell at him about.
Paul kept talking about having one more week before his retirement and spoke about moving. That was not something I remember as a chance and I don’t know how I would feel about Shrinking without Harrison Ford. I am assuming that it is just storyline, but I am not sure.
Jeff Daniels returned as Jimmy’s father, bringing up plenty of conflict from Jimmy’s childhood. When Jimmy found out that his dad was not going to go to the actual graduation ceremony in order to go on a fishing trip, Jimmy was even more down than he was before.
Worse yet, when his father told Jimmy that he really liked Sofi, way more than Tia (who apparently always saw him in the same light as Jimmy did), Jimmy broke up with Sofi, and he did it in a very cold manner. I would not blame Sofi if, when he invariably comes begging back, she dismisses it and kicks him to the curb. Jimmy letting his daddy issues interfere with something that was potentially great is more immature than I thought Jimmy could be. You could see that his father’s presence was not bringing out the best side of him.
Sean got the job as a a sous chef. He hesitated to accept it because of his friendship with Jorge, who worked with him in the food truck, and would cost him that job. Jorge did not take the news well, but Sean did not react with animosity or anger as he would have before, showing his own growth with his mental health.
It was nice to see the softer side of Paul in this episode. I hope he is not leaving at the end of this season, which has only two more to go.
This is one of those secretively funny original songs at the end of the album that don’t get as much attention as some of the bigger parodies or style pastiches. Yet, it is really funny, setting up the image of a big, old truck driver in his dresses and with his makeup.
Lyrics
Lyrics
I’m drivin’ a truck Drivin’ a big ol’ truck Pedal to the metal, hope I don’t run out of luck Rollin’ down the highway until the break of dawn Drivin’ a truck with my high heels on
My diesel rig is northward bound It’s time to put that hammer down Just watchin’ as the miles go flyin’ by I’m ridin’ twenty tons of steel But it’s sure hard to hold the wheel While I’m still waiting for my nails to dry
Oh, I always gotta check my lipstick in that rear view mirror And my pink angora sweater fits so tight I’m jammin’ gears and haulin’ freight Well, I sure hope my seams are straight Lord, don’t let my mascara run tonight
Because I’m drivin’ a truck Drivin’ a big ol’ truck Smokey’s on my tail and my accelerator’s stuck Got these eighteen wheels a-rollin until the break of dawn Drivin’ a truck with my high heels on
Oh, I don’t mind when my crotchless panties creep right up on me And my nipple rings don’t bother me too much But when I hit those big speed bumps My darling little rhinestone pumps Keep slippin’ off the mother-lovin’ clutch
But still I’m drivin’ a truck Drivin’ a big ol’ truck Headin’ down the interstate, just tryin’ to make buck Wearin’ feather boas with sequins and chiffon While I’m drivin’ a truck with my high heels on
I’m drivin’ a truck Drivin’ a truck Got a load to carry and some eyebrows left to pluck And I’m late for my appointment down at the hair salon So I’ll be drivin’ a truck with my high heels on
Style: This is a style parody of Bob Marley and other reggae music
One of the wonderful hidden gems on the In 3D album. Buy Me a Condo satires the American lifestyle.
Lyrics
Gonna buy me a condo Gonna buy me a Cuisinart Get a wall-to-wall carpeting Get a wallet full ‘o credit cards I gonna buy me a condo, never have to mow de lawn I gonna get me da T-shirt wit’ de alligator on
Wo, used to live in Jamaica But I don’t live dere no more Had to change me lifestyle Do t’ings I never done before So now I’m just a lonely Rastaman Living in dis American town Gonna sell me Bob Marley records Gonna get me some Jackson Browne
I gonna buy me a condo Gonna buy me a Cuisinart Get a wall-to-wall carpeting And get a wallet full ‘o credit cards, eh I gonna buy me a condo, never have to mow de lawn I gonna get me da T-shirt wit’ de alligator on
Wo, gonna cut off me dreadlocks T’row away all me ganja I’ll have a Tupperware party Maybe join me a health spa I’ll get a bowl of plastic fruits And a microwave oven, too Then I’ll have the neighbors over for a weenie barbecue
Gonna buy me a condo Gonna buy me a Cuisinart Get a wall-to-wall carpeting Get a wallet full ‘o credit cards, oh I gonna buy me a condo, never have to mow de lawn I get a funny little T-shirt wit’ de alligator on
Ain’t gonna work in de field no more Gonna be Amway distributor Ain’t gonna work in de field no more (no, no) Gonna be Amway distributor
Ja, ja, ja, life is so very hard I need a (ja) ja, ja, ja jacuzzi in me back yard
Oh, I gonna buy me a condo Gonna buy me a Cuisinart Get a wall-to-wall carpeting Get a wallet full ‘o credit cards, eh I gonna buy me a condo, never have to mow de lawn I gonna get me da T-shirt wit’ de alligator on
What’d you say?
I gonna buy me a condo I gonna buy me a Cuisinart Get a wall-to-wall carpeting Get a wallet full ‘o credit cards, oh I gonna buy me a condo, never have to mow de lawn I gonna get me da T-shirt wit’ de alligator on
What’d you say?
I gonna buy me a condo Gonna buy me a Cuisinart Get a wall-to-wall carpeting And get a wallet full ‘o credit cards, oh I gonna buy me a condo, never have to mow de lawn I gonna get me da T-shirt wit’ de alligator on
Sadly, this is the penultimate episode of season 2 of Paradise on Hulu. It has been so great that I don’t want to see it end. We get some major events occurring in episode 7.
Xavier & Teri are reunited and are on their way back to Colorado. Of course, first things first… they had to get Bean, who was being held by Gary the Mailman. Xavier wanted to just blow him away, but Teri had a more diplomatic path. She talked to Gary and dealt with the emotions he was revealing, and confronted him over the murder of Enos. Gary cried and accepted the fate, and never got his head blown off. Bonus for Gary.
Meanwhile, we were seeing how Sinatra was continually manipulating everyone. She meets with Link and they have a tense back and forth. However, Sinatra makes a shocking discovery… or at least a possible discovery… is Link her supposedly dead son Dylan? Could that be? Could this be the variable that brings Sinatra down?
The outside forces are preparing for their attack… maybe cause Link enjoyed that apple pie so much.
It sure seemed as if Gabriela stabbed Jane in a shower, and left her bleeding out and dead. Now, there is no confirmation that Jane is dead and she feels like that type of supervillain that you can’t just expect to be killed by a stab wound or two. You have got to finish her off when you have a chance. So while she could be gone now, I would not be surprised if she crawled her way out of that shower.
We got a flashback to see more of President Cal Bradford before his murder. It is always great to see James Marsden in Paradise, so every flashback with him is thoroughly welcome. Cal was inspecting everything with Sinatra and making like a prophet and calling that the bunker would go down one day. Surely this is meant as some foreshadowing for what is to come.
This finale should be full of surprises and action. Maybe we will finally find out who the mysterious “Alex” is, as Sinatra arrived at a location, put on a jacket, and greeted Alex. This was after Link had told her that he was after Alex. I have no idea who or what Alex is, but I can’t wait to find out.
Jackson Park Express is one of the longer songs Weird Al has done. It runs 9 minutes and 4 seconds. It is an epic love story between two people who see each other on a bus for the first time. The romance lasts until the woman gets off the bus, without ever speaking to the man.
Ah, love.
Lyrics
Tuesday morning, 8:15 I was riding to work on the Jackson Park Express Seemed like any other day Then my whole world changed In a way I never could have guessed ‘Cause she walked in Took the seat right across the aisle I knew we had a special connection The second I saw her smile
She smiled as if to say “Hello, haven’t seen you on this bus before” I gave her a look that said “Huh, life is funny, you never know what’s in store By the way, your hair is beautiful I bet it smells like raisins”
She looked at me in a way that asked “Did you have a nose job or something? I’m only asking, cause your nose looks slightly better Than the rest of your face” I arched my eyebrow, ever so slightly Which was my way of asking “Do you want my old Hewlett-Packard printer? It still works, kinda And I got a bunch of ink cartridges left”
Then, she let out a long sigh Which, I took to mean, “Uh” “Mama, what is that deodorant you’re wearing? It’s intoxicating Why don’t we drive out to the country sometime? And collect deer ticks in a zip-lock baggie”, oh yeah
I gave her a penetrating stare Which could only mean “You are my answer, my answer to everything Which is why, I’ll probably do very poorly On the written part of my driver’s test”
Yes, it all happened On the Jackson Park Express On the Jackson Park Express On the Jackson Park Express On the Jackson Park Express
I knew she was starting to fall for me ‘Cause she crinkled her nose, which unmistakably meant “Baby, lets wear each other’s clothes And speak in a thick German accent And, maybe someday we can own and operate Our own mobile pet-grooming service” I couldn’t hold back my feelings I gave her a look, that said “I would make any sacrifice for your love Goat, chicken, whatever I could never hold you close enough Let’s have our bodies surgically grafted together Oh, surgically grafted together”
She picked up a newspaper, and started reading to herself Which I’m sure, was a way of telling me “When you’re cold, I will warm you When you’re shivering, I will hold you When your nauseous, I will give you Pepto-Bismol every hour For as long as the symptoms persist” Oh, I, I never, ever want to see you cry So, please let me cauterize your tear ducts with an arc welder Then, I glanced down, at her shirt, for a second In a way that clearly implied “I like your boobs”
Yes, it all happened On the Jackson Park Express On the Jackson Park Express On the Jackson Park Express On the Jackson Park Express
I cleared my throat quietly, and then, I looked away And I’m sure it was obvious to her, just what I was trying to say I was trying to say, “Hey I’d like to make a wall-sized mural out of all the dead skin cells That you slough off while you sleep at night” Whoa-o-Oh, “I’d like to rip you wide open And french-kiss every single one of your internal organs Oh, I’d like to remove all your skin, and wear your skin, over my own skin But not in a creepy way”
Then, I’m pretty sure, she looked at me, out of the corner of her good eye And, though, she never spoke a word, this is exactly what I heard She was saying, “Oh! I wanna make out with you, in an abandoned toll-booth, in the middle of a monsoon I wanna ride dolphins with you, in the moonlight Until the staff at Sea World kicks us out I want you inside me, oh, like a tapeworm”
I pointed to the side of my mouth, as a way of indicating “Hey, I think you got something on the side of your mouth” She licked the corner of her lips, as if to say “Here?”, I nodded, implying, “Yeah, you got it”
And, then the bus stopped, at 53rd Street, and she got up suddenly “Where are you going?”, pleaded my eyes, “Baby, don’t you do this to me Think of the beautiful children we could have someday We could school them at home, raise them up the right way And protect them from the evils of the world Like Trigonometry and Prime Numbers, oh no Baby, please don’t go”
She brushed my leg, as she left the bus I’m sure that was her way of saying “I’m sorry this just isn’t working out You’re suffocating me I need some space to find out what life’s all about So, goodbye forever, my love”
And deep inside, I knew she was right It was time for us both to move on And no, I never got her number, oh no no She never bothered to leave her address, oh But, as long as I live, I’ll never forget Those precious moments we shared together
On the Jackson Park Express On the Jackson Park Express On the Jackson Park Express On the Jackson Park Express On the Jackson Park Express On the Jackson Park Express On the Jackson Park Express On the Jackson Park Express
Whoa. Big episode. Major reveals leading into the finale. This was the first week that I really wanted to keep watching instead of waiting until next Sunday.
However, I am not sure how I feel about the reveal that it appeared that we got. I can’t see them doing this as a huge red herring at this point in the series. There really feels like there are some gaps in this potential solution that are very coincidental. It makes me think that there is something major missing yet.
Jack’s sister Zoe was murdered this week in a shocking moment. This was after she went to Jack and begged him to listen to her. As always, Jack was just too buried in his own crap to pay any attention to her. Zoe was worried about being the next victim and she wanted to tell Jack something about Anna. The show does a tremendous job of pointing the finger of suspicion at Anna until the last bit of the episode.
How much guilt will Jack have since his sister showed up practically begging for help and he blew her off?
That is until we see that the hotel rooms for Anna and Richard had been canceled and they had no where to go. Richard took Anna to his in-laws place, through the most dense forest around. The tension of that trip was tight as Anna recalled a memory of a time when the five of the friends, including the heavy-set girl named Kathryn (who we saw a few episodes ago in a flashback), who wound up getting raped at this get together.
We find out that Kathryn is dead as well. Zoe had told Priya while she was at the police station about Kathryn. Priya has been focused on the four friends, two of which were murdered. Priya was looking closely at Anna as a suspect.
When Anna and Richard arrived at the lake house, Anna discovered that Richard’s wife and her rival at the station, Lexy, was there too. Anna saw some pictures on the wall of Lexy’s family, her parents and … there was pictures of Kathryn too.
Could Kathryn be related to Lexy? Were they sisters?
Does that mean that Lexy is the killer? Does Richard know or is she just stringing him along. And if that is the case, there is one big thread that bothers me. When the murder of Rachel first takes place and Anna wants to follow the story, she specifically requested Richard as her cameraman. Isn’t that a huge coincidence that makes me unsure about the entire situation.
There is also the fact that Rachel was blackmailing somebody, and her husband, in a taunting scene with Jack, implied that it was not him she was blackmailing. Could it have been Lexy? Richard? Was this all a big revenge scheme to get back at the girls who were so mean to Kathryn when they were in school together? Why would it take so long? Is it connected to Kathryn’s death?
There feels like there are a piece or two that will connect everything together to make it all make sense… or at least I hope it does. Next Sunday I will watch the finale of the limited series and I hope it ties together well.
